₦airaland Forum

adamasmag:
Every lady needs to be mentally, physically and emotionally ready before getting married. Yes! marriage takes a lot to make it work. For many women, marriage is something they’ve been looking forward to since they were a little girl. While it’s undoubtedly an exciting and momentous experience in life, it’s far from the only life-changing and all-important event. For this reason, it’s best not to rush your trip down to the altar. This is true even if you’ve been with your significant other for several years  or even decades.

Below are some lists that can help prepare you mentally, emotionally and physically for a successful and long-lasting marriage.

1.Create a Life That You Love *Without* a Partner
That way, when he shows up, you’re already grounded. You’re not dependent on him, and you'll be more likely to find someone who loves you and your passions.

2. Create a List of Five Values It's Important Your Partner Has
Say, for example, that finding a partner who follows a sustainable lifestyle is absolutely crucial for you. Put that on the list as a reminder not to compromise on your core values. Disclaimer: If you feel that your priorities are shifting and that what you thought was a dealbreaker value isn't really a dealbreaker value anymore, then by all means, change your list. It's not set in stone. But if the guy you're heading down the aisle with right now doesn't meet one of the criteria on your list—and you still feel it's important—then it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship before you make a big mistake.

3.Learn How to Be Alone without Being Lonely
Need some help? Try taking yourself to dinner once a week or planning one night a week just for you. You’ll find that whatever you choose to do in those moments is what you really want to do. And knowing how to “find your chill” is crucial because it means that you don’t need outside validation to feel whole—and you don’t put unfair expectations on your partner to keep you entertained. In turn, you’ll likely encourage your partner to pursue his hobbies, too, which will create a healthy interdependent relationship. It’s better to rely on each other completely equally than to have one person do the heavy lifting, which will likely cause tension down the line.


4.Create Time and Space in Your Life for a Relationship
You know that whole idea of "If you build it, they will come?" The same goes for your love life: If you make room in your life for a relationship, you're way more likely to find that one falls into place. And if you have an S.O. but don’t invest enough time or effort into your partnership, chances are you won't have it for long.

5. Agree on How You and Your Partner Will Handle Your Finances.
You may have been managing your own finances for a while now, but once you meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, figuring out how to share a bank account can get tricky. Discuss financial biggies (read: any potential debt you'll need to manage, what you're comfortable paying for rent or a mortgage, what the price cutoff should be for discussing an impulse purchase, how much you want to try to save each month, etc.) in advance so you know what you’re dealing with from the get-go.

6. Stop sharing every detail of your relationship with others
When you first met or started dating, you might have unveiled every tiny detail about your now  to your friends and maybe even your family. But now that you’re serious, it's important to preserve and protect the integrity of the relationship. “When you get mad, no Facebook rants or cryptic quotes about a fight you may be having and no more calling all of your friends for consensus about whether you are right or wrong in an argument,” says Nelson. “Your marriage is sacred and what happens in your relationship needs to stay in your relationship.” She suggests instead, leaning on a trusted best friend to blow off steam or find a therapist that you can confide in and learn skills to be a better mate and get through conflicts.

7. Learn To Cook
No, Noodles doesn’t count as food.


http://www.adamasmagazine.com.ng/things-every-lady-should-do-before-getting-married/

8. Don't be a leech
9. Stop Prostitution

HARDDON:
Submissive man? More like woman wrapper! It is your type that visit shrines....

What a mentality.

Sounds funny, huh?

You don't want her to find a submissive man but you guys can look for submissive women.

Very funny creatures

HARDDON:
U Dominant or Demonized?

What happened to this instruction by HE who instituted marriage? "... WIFE SUBMIT to your husbands?"

Bible written by men, right?

Why don't you think men wrote that shít to please themselves?.

God didn't say any such stuff.

If you want submission then be ready to reciprocate it.

Heavance:
#7 is the so perfect.

that is why you have total likes of 7 as well

delectablegyal:
liar.

She's right.

ominiriches2016:
Which one be, "a submissive man will make a good husband"? Don't turn the Bible upside down please.

Keep quiet.. Bible written by men, right?

Why don't you think men wrote that shít to please themselves?.

God didn't say any such stuff.

If you want submission then be ready to reciprocate it.

TonyeBarcanista:
I put it to you that you are looking for a weakling and a she in the skin of a "he".

Woe be that man that will submit his nature given authority to his wife...

You guys should stop quoting her for Godsake..

Her life, her choice.

Don't force your opinions on her.

Elsalvator38:
Some 9ja girls no Sabi Cook na only indomie from Monday to Sunday Maka why

What's stopping you from cooking? must women be the ones to cook for you?

Many misogynistic men are actually on this forum

This s a good one, I believe people will learn from this

desiregold:
Why didnt you add financially ready too?


Ladies, if you are a member of this forum and you dont have any source of income, you dont have any job or biz that brings atleast 20k in a month.., Then you dont have any bizness with marriage.


I hate hearing some married women say things like "Aunty, borrow me 500 naira to cook food for my children, I will pay you back when my husband comes back from work".

Money gives you voice in life. it gives you voice among your friends, It gives voice among your family members, it gives you voice in your church, It even gives you voice in your marriage.

Girlll!!

SoapQueen:
Any woman that can work for 20k, can work for 200k.

20k fit buy small bag of rice and garri and oyel. Person no go hungry.

20k is small sha..

Elder001:
20k is small sha..

Any woman that can work for 20k, can work for 200k.
20k fit buy small bag of rice and garri and oyel. Person no go hungry.

SoapQueen:
Any woman that can work for 20k, can work for 200k.

20k fit buy small bag of rice and garri and oyel. Person no go hungry.

Well.. never despise humble beginnings.

As long as she continue working hard to turn that 20k into 60-300k.

loyalty and a good heart is what you need from a man.

adamasmag:
hmmm, why is that?

The most important thing have a career u didn't state it. Ladies shud always have a career even if their eventual partner/hubbys wants them to be stay at home moms.

Colourich:
A submissive man will make a good husband unlike their dominant counterpart.

There not like a submissive man. Submit to who? It doesn't exist. Use another word pls. Maybe an understanding man or smtn like dat.

HARDDON:
2. Positive Mentality:

Instead of seeing the cup half empty, see it as half full.
Instead of thinking he is coming home late because he went to see some side Chick, think "maybe he is stuck In hold up.

Instead of always trying to chop off his head because he didn't do something right, see it as a perfect partnership where the short comings of one is quickly absorbed by the other.


3. Working on the Mind as it relates to God and prayers for your union and all


4. Developing the mind with books on the difference between being single and been married. Friends, family and mentors in marriage.

5. Working on the mind as it relates to finances. NO, what is his isn't only for the Fam and what is yours, yours. It is a partnership. Everyone must have everything in common.


And a host of others, but the bottom line is, Knowledge and marriage wisdom don't jump on people from outa space. They must be acquired through good books from people who have made impact in their marriages, vids and the guidance of the Holy Spirit!


Life is in the mind ( spiritual). You can't apply physical approach to it.

You sound spiritual, but your moniker. Why are you getting a boner?

resurgent2019:
Do people still get married in Nigeria?

How can people be comfortable with raising children and a family in such an unstable place?

I carry yansh give people wey dey marry. My brain can’t even fathom marriage as at now. I really envy(I don’t know if that’s the right word) people that get married in Nigeria.

I hate unpatriotic citizen.. look if you don't love your country please leave the country. Nonsense.

@sarahade

Bring yourself here and learn sis

Colourich:
A submissive man will make a good husband unlike their dominant counterpart.

What exactly do you intend to do with a submissive husband?

Sit on his face and take his money?

I suggest you go get yourself a white guy then.

Have a three.some with two guys.

You will regret not doing it before getting married

Crap crap crap

Hmmmm

adamasmag:
Every lady needs to be mentally, physically and emotionally ready before getting married. Yes! marriage takes a lot to make it work. For many women, marriage is something they’ve been looking forward to since they were a little girl. While it’s undoubtedly an exciting and momentous experience in life, it’s far from the only life-changing and all-important event. For this reason, it’s best not to rush your trip down to the altar. This is true even if you’ve been with your significant other for several years  or even decades.

Below are some lists that can help prepare you mentally, emotionally and physically for a successful and long-lasting marriage.

1.Create a Life That You Love *Without* a Partner
That way, when he shows up, you’re already grounded. You’re not dependent on him, and you'll be more likely to find someone who loves you and your passions.

2. Create a List of Five Values It's Important Your Partner Has
Say, for example, that finding a partner who follows a sustainable lifestyle is absolutely crucial for you. Put that on the list as a reminder not to compromise on your core values. Disclaimer: If you feel that your priorities are shifting and that what you thought was a dealbreaker value isn't really a dealbreaker value anymore, then by all means, change your list. It's not set in stone. But if the guy you're heading down the aisle with right now doesn't meet one of the criteria on your list—and you still feel it's important—then it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship before you make a big mistake.

3.Learn How to Be Alone without Being Lonely
Need some help? Try taking yourself to dinner once a week or planning one night a week just for you. You’ll find that whatever you choose to do in those moments is what you really want to do. And knowing how to “find your chill” is crucial because it means that you don’t need outside validation to feel whole—and you don’t put unfair expectations on your partner to keep you entertained. In turn, you’ll likely encourage your partner to pursue his hobbies, too, which will create a healthy interdependent relationship. It’s better to rely on each other completely equally than to have one person do the heavy lifting, which will likely cause tension down the line.


4.Create Time and Space in Your Life for a Relationship
You know that whole idea of "If you build it, they will come?" The same goes for your love life: If you make room in your life for a relationship, you're way more likely to find that one falls into place. And if you have an S.O. but don’t invest enough time or effort into your partnership, chances are you won't have it for long.

5. Agree on How You and Your Partner Will Handle Your Finances.
You may have been managing your own finances for a while now, but once you meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, figuring out how to share a bank account can get tricky. Discuss financial biggies (read: any potential debt you'll need to manage, what you're comfortable paying for rent or a mortgage, what the price cutoff should be for discussing an impulse purchase, how much you want to try to save each month, etc.) in advance so you know what you’re dealing with from the get-go.

6. Stop sharing every detail of your relationship with others
When you first met or started dating, you might have unveiled every tiny detail about your now  to your friends and maybe even your family. But now that you’re serious, it's important to preserve and protect the integrity of the relationship. “When you get mad, no Facebook rants or cryptic quotes about a fight you may be having and no more calling all of your friends for consensus about whether you are right or wrong in an argument,” says Nelson. “Your marriage is sacred and what happens in your relationship needs to stay in your relationship.” She suggests instead, leaning on a trusted best friend to blow off steam or find a therapist that you can confide in and learn skills to be a better mate and get through conflicts.

7. Learn To Cook
No, Noodles doesn’t count as food.


http://www.adamasmagazine.com.ng/things-every-lady-should-do-before-getting-married/

Nonsense.
I don't even need a girl or woman with these irrelevant qualities.
Come as you are, as God created you
If she has those things already, it's just an added advantage.

Colourich:
I don't like dominant men, they turn me off, is it that hard to understand given to the fact that I am dominant.

there is no such thing as a submissive man. Either you have a vegetable or a lion waiting to strike one day

blackgold2018:
I hate unpatriotic citizen.. look if you don't love your country please leave the country. Nonsense.

I should be patriotic to Nigeria? Are you kidding me right now?

Colourich:
I don't like dominant men, they turn me off, is it that hard to understand given to the fact that I am dominant.

you're simply abnormal. Get normal and thank me later.

Colourich:
A submissive man will make a good husband unlike their dominant counterpart.

See them trying to turn the world upside down. The norm is "woman" not man, and "wife", not husband. Why not just complete it, that the woman is the head of the home? Na wa oh. Una try.

Elder001:
What's stopping you from cooking? must women be the ones to cook for you?

Many misogynistic men are actually on this forum

It is the wife responsibilities to cook but the husband can assist.