Elfmannisback:

For where.. She dey shag am now sef.

These type of person has never enjoy happy home before so she doesn't know how to keep it. She must be living in a place where there is no peace. She thinks life is fantasy...

It's so sad how unbridled comments had emphasised more on the husband's retaliation but turn blind to understand what really prompt it #sad. The wife had the audacity to go TOXIC on her husband by calling him names, insulting his background, family #sad. Advice to the husband, for the sake of ur kids, nd d affection that prompted u in marrying ur wife, kindly be meek to call her to sit, u guys should let out ur ordeals, forgive one another, set rules jointly.

BTW Reason why I desist sharing life ish on nairaland. Full of frustrated, inflicted categories of person who in turn desire to mar others.

Guitarlife:
ExtraExtra I will encourage you not to listen to most of these ladies supporting your wife. Most of them are either divorced , unmarried and lonely, single and still searching for partners.The few of them that are married and still in their husbands houses are on the contrary as meek and quiet as a dove.

The need the alter ego displayed on Nairaland to express their hidden fantasy of rebelling against their husbands which they are unable to do in real life.

As per your wife, I am a very traditional man too so I know how difficult this is for you. I will advise that you do everything within your power to salvage the marriage especially because of your children. Although it is apparent now what is important to your wife. I was just about reconciling with my own fiance whom I consider extremely opinionated and too expressive for a wife which made me break the relationship in the first place.

She has been begging me and all sorts but these kind of your story dey give me another concern,make person nor go marry woman wen nor go gree respect am. It is well o...

Thank you my brother. The fact that the wife never told us in her narrative that the husband contributed to the building of that house shows how dishonest she is.

If I were in ExtraExtra shoes, I swear to Sango & Obatala, I would never take this woman back no matter what happens - because I can never EVER trust her again.

I would try as much as possible to build my own house, marry another lady & move on.

Mr. ExtraExtra, Do not even make a mistake of allowing your wife know your new location, let-alone visiting you. You can take the financial responsibilities of your children & visit them once in a while.

The little children on this thread advising you to salvage your marriage are illusionists.

Take my advice ONLY if you intend to live long!

Guitarlife:
ExtraExtra I will encourage you not to listen to most of these ladies supporting your wife. Most of them are either divorced , unmarried and lonely, single and still searching for partners.The few of them that are married and still in their husbands houses are on the contrary as meek and quiet as a dove.

They need the alter ego displayed on Nairaland to express their hidden fantasy of rebelling against their husbands which they are unable to do in real life.

As per your wife, I am a very traditional man too so I know how difficult this is for you. I will advise that you do everything within your power to salvage the marriage especially because of your children. Although it is apparent now what is important to your wife. I was just about reconciling with my own fiance whom I consider extremely opinionated and too expressive for a wife which made me break the relationship in the first place.

She has been begging me and all sorts but these kind of your story dey give me another concern,make person nor go marry woman wen nor go gree respect am. It is well o...

Women and their desire to Lord men only if they could..I am feeling you bro..

JoannaSedley:
This is exactly what she wrote. There is no true story here.

Your ego has destroyed your home oga.

I wish she would woman up and divorce your sorry as.as.

So you can marry him?

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

My brother, my response below was exactly what I told your wife. I might not be grounded on the case at hand (I don't want to be though) but my little observation and likely imagination of things was what I honestly aired out. I pray that the almighty God will settle this case and bring a lasting solution, peace and tolerance between you guys. Go back to your wife bro, stay married to her and remember your vows.



CASTOSVILLA :
Madam I don't know your full story but your own side of the story is quite faulty. "He used his own part of the money" that statement is so wrong for a married couple. You guys are not business partners, you guys are ONE body now not 2 separate bodies. The money, belongs to both of you and the children. Gushhh!!! are guys having trust issues or what as a couple husband and wife aren't supposed to be sharing spoils rather they build on it. You never mentioned where he build the supposed "his parent's" house. Is it in the village or in the city. If it's in the village then that house is not his parents house rather it's your family house in the village for Christmas celebrations and fortunately, his parents/ your second parents are enjoying from your goodwill. Then the almighty "Your own share". There's has never been a share for you or him, it's still all of your money. Whatever it's used for is own by both of you and the kids. All properties should be in Mr & Mrs. That house is not only yours simple. Saying that he doesn't want to agree to the terms of changing the name to Mr & Mrs as a reply to a comment shows that you never suggested it in reality. Please apologize to your husband because I think you've not done that properly, change that name to Mr & Mrs ASAP and delete this thread you used to get seek for cheap sympathy.

NoToPile:


@bolded really!!!

It's like 'Get out of my house' is a common phrase among nairaland married men the way I keep reading 'he didn't mean it' he didn't mean it' and it's so annoying.

That statement is wrong simple

Which kind of joke is that.

It is a common phrase. I see it a lot on NL too, any small thing...send her back to her father's house.

Later they'll say women have sharp mouth, that's why they beat them. They won't tell you how they've threatened to kick her out.
Wicked people

Make una forget dis mata ehhh.......

I cn bet my balls dat dey'll reconcile.

Lets jst pray for der unity, dis mata no reach to divorce dem walahi!!

OP,.....May Christ wisdom direct & rest upon u & ur Family, Amen!

Remember d happiness & unity of ur kids pls!!

niphemey:
so helping out his dad who was very sick was squandering right ? What kinda human being are you ?

There's nothing wrong in that. It is their collective responsibility as couple. But come to think of it, building a house takes some time, and the man did not deem it fit to ask for the documents. This also shows that he did not even see the building plan because the details of the owners would have been discovered, except if he is being economical with the truth.

In my own view, the man is one of those men who doesn't like it when their women are ahead of them. It also means he was not involved with the project because it was the wife that championed it. To crown it all, I see inferiority complex.

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

Very silly egoistic man. Your wife was right to call u proud! Couples quarrel, say hurtful things to each other and settle thereafter. Your cousin is a devil for taking your family issues out. And you, Talking as if the woman will fold her arms while you pack the kids along with you. By the way, what's the difference between her narrative and yours? Just keep acting like the shallow minded man you are until your family falls apart right before your eyes. The children will grow up to loathe you and your family. You think your wife will not survive without you? I see a strong woman that'll stand tall without you. She'll divorce you and go for a better man. Better put your house in order before your pride destroys you and your home. She must not change house ownership name to yours . And are her kids not yours? I am sure you're an Edo man. This man just disgusts me! Stingy self centred man with a short temper.

God has given this woman a very clear route out of a clearly one-sided relationship.

She would be very stupïd to even consider reconciling with this thief, not to speak of actually adding his name to the documentation.

In the first instance, why are they having issues thats generating into one party asking the other to leave the house.
That said, marital relationship requires trust to nourish the relationship. I thought thats the whole point of owning property in both parties name, and contributions to the property coming from both sides...that you trust your partner enough to own something together.

Platony:


Did u know......

Long lasting Married couples av heard worse??

D thing is, dey shld jst let go of d pride & ego infesting
in der marriage.

I strongly believe d issue wil be resolved amongst dem, Remember frm d first post wer d wife complained,

she pointed out smtin dat i pin pointed; dat her husband is a good man.

So therefore, i strongly believe peace cn hover in der home again except, it is bn handled wit carelessness n wil blow it out of proportion which might lead to divorce.

Nope HE should let pride go but with the way he wrote the 'ONLY' on the initial post and that her putting it in her name only belittles him so I think putting the name in his name ONLY will 'un-bellitle' him

Well he has decided that she should not change the name which is good enough

He should go and settle with his wife jare, but this one family will begin to chook mouth.... those that have believed it is 'our son' that owns the house that alone can cause another big issue with the family resenting wifey.

And for the aproko cousin ehn...

TonyeBarcanista:


Easier said than done my brother!


Do you know how betrayed he is feeling? Why didn't she inform him from the onset that she bought the property in her name? Was she expecting him to abandon his family and his parents? Was she expecting him to abandon his father when he was ill?

You see, the issue though may be triggered by property but it goes beyond it. It is now a matter of betrayal of trust and treachery.

The sensible thing for him to do is to allow her have the house and get his own (for his family). She can move in with him if she wishes...

You can say that again

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

i said it, she knows what she is doing, i would plead to just forgive her because of the kids,

you are a good man, i know she painted you to be the one at fault and claiming victim...i fear marriage,i fear woman...she already had bad intentions and was waiting for the day to bite you, glad you knew early enough, and also be thankful you are still working, if not your ass would have been kicked by someone you loved this much not to bother to check the documents

i learnt one or two things from this issue

please just forgive her for the sake of the kids, if not she doesn't deserve it...i was wowed when i discuss this issue with babe...her reply was let her keep the house and the kids, husband plenty outside...i just laugh...she go get sense when its time...

had it been you guys dont have kids i would have advice you to kick her far from you she is a traitor,she is the type that would leave you when you are in trouble..l.e health related.

Oh I get it , you are still doing fiance? No wonder your advice, get married first and manage your home for 3 months , then come back and advise him. My one cent

JoannaSedley:
Stop projecting your failed relationship to me please. I am not the one creating thread all over town cos of my "fiancé". Whining every chance I got of my fiance being too opinionated and expressive. .
An already failed marriage is what you are trying to salvage?. He he he. The man left his family and you are pointing your shrivelled guitar fingers on the woman. Be factual. The marriage was doomed the moment the husband told the wife to get out of his "house" and got the shocker of his life.

tabithababy:


Hope she has changed the name to yours now

Mtcheeeeew

The greatest mistake she made is that she supposed to have used her own part of the money to take care or build house for her parent as well

your own no góod at all

OK.....I usually don't comment BT let me just drop this
what the lady did was right Y did I say so( humans are selfish and self - centered even in marriage....if u v been dere u will know). for the man to have opened his mouth to say leave my house....I put it to you that he wud av carried out his threat if she didn't shock him wit DAT news and by now she wud v been d biggest loser...me I no too blame her experience go don teach her

OK let's say I'm wrong(which I know I'm not)...then Y is he now insisting it must be changed to his name alone Y not both names(remember this SELFISH& SELF-CENTERED).

See I dey always talk am say some of these marriage na scam big fraud...some na watin I call yahoo yahoo marriage!!! if u no use ur head u go fall inside pit wen u no fit come out.
they should change it to both names, if d man no gree na him cup of AKAMU.....but make she apologize give her husband shall and get her marriage bk on track....BUT must be in BOTH NAMES

I posted this on your wife's thread.

ShenTeh:


Very correct.

I am reading this from page to page and all I see is that THE ANSWER TO THIS ISSUE IS IN THE TITLE.

I have seen very intelligent posts and not-so-bright ones. @Heseesall, The person destroying her marriage because of pride here is you and not your husband as you'd like us to believe.

# You've always had your way with your "good" husband and are very shocked that he is not being a sucker this once. You initially thought it was a joke and that he'd come around like he's always done.

# Your action portrayed you as one of those women who think money is everything (our Yoruba call it "ojuorolari" -someone not accustomed to wealth, literally).Properly put - Greedy. Your words suggest that your family has repeatedly warned you about this. It is the reason you know they'll condemn your action over a "mere property".

# You have brought the symptoms of your failed management to the www, and conveniently left out the main reason your "good" husband asked you and 'your children' out of your matrimonial home. Why would a good man do that? Infidelity? I know good men stop being good when conversations get to that.

# It is obvious your husband doesn't need the property. Let me shock you - He probably even knew this a long time ago and never thought much about it. He is shocked that what was important to you during that moment of his anger was the ownership of the house instead of showing remorse for your action (which led to his sending you out, which we still don't know yet).

# One of the goods and ironically the biggest danger of social media, is the plurality of uncensored opinions. You'd rather be left more confused with the amount of information thrown at you on here. Interestingly however, go back to yourself. The answer is with you.

# Don't change the name to his. Yes. I"d rather in the children's name like some suggest here. But in the heat of this moment, tell him you have agreed. When peace has been restored, tell him you have a much better idea. Then throw the idea of the children's name. A good man should buy that.

#Ultimately, I have read from memoirs of the dying and aged and their caregivers that at the end it is family that matters. Not marriage. Not properties. But I see the one that is closest of the two.

It is your call.

Nihilstjnr:
God has given this woman a very clear route out of a clearly one-sided relationship.

She would be very stupïd to even consider reconciling with this thief, not to speak of actually adding his name to the documentation.

put yourself in the husband shoes
�

The problem did not just start two weeks ago, it started when they decided to share the profit 50/50. So this is the long term result of that decision. You both should learn from tht mistake and forgive each other.

Maybe the woman decided to share it 50/50 because if that is not done, you would use all the money for your parent. And you too agreed so you can have 100% control of your own share. Hmmm

I will never support the property be changed tp your own name alone, she will totally be a looser. As the first born you own your parent property when they are gone in their good old age, and you will also have that house she built with her own share 100% ? No sir, it must be in both of you names.

Let Baba God judge, he will say son, dont say that.

NoToPile:
There's no difference in the story naah, still same story she came here to narrate.

I wonder why you said you didn't mean it when you said she should leave your house.

She can as well claim she said all those things to you about your parents out of spite and anger.

This is why everyone should be careful what they say.

I think the main issue is the matter of background and insulting your parent she never should have used that to spite you at all but then she was angry, besides a woman would say quite a lot if she even feels you are cheating

To be honest from this your write up, you seem to have an ego.

You guys should sort your issue out,since you have decided to that she shouldn't change the name again.

I tried not to comment but I can't resist the temptation anymore! What you guys failed to understand is, if the op can ask his wife to get out of the house he can as well say something very bad to his wife that made the wife to insult his background. He gave me a slap is never the beginning of a quarrel something started it. We all believed that women are more toxic in words there are men that are worst than women in this, op can be one of them. She is from a rich home, one factor that would have prevented her from submitting to you but she never, she submitred to you, she brought prosperity, you spent your share on your extended family even building a house for your dad, you must be thinking she is a fool. If she did not bring that business would you have flown your dad abroad? Abi poor man dey go abroad! You were inconsiderate, you took her for a ride. Op you did mention the issue of women as the cause of these fracas, I can put it to you that you had extra marital affair that's what made your wife so bitter, even if you never had any affair, your condult and response to your wife was not good. You strength was that you had her by the balls you were thinking you will shout her down. You never knew she was ahead of you. That's what I want many women to be doing to some men that claim to be man because of their organ. Women must be wise, I am a man I will never support wickedness. You flown your dad abroad to your own glory, you built him a house to your own glory as well from the proceed of her brain child, she built a house with her share to your own glory again? Umba go for joint ownership or build your own

Why is it that no one saw where the man said that the money was split because of the health of his father?? So if I should spend money on my parent inlaw from a business I own with my wife, I should count it that what I spent is part of her own

Some nairaland ladies are really home breakers and it seems they are happy doing it.
The world is now so materialistic.

The evil was planted the moment the woman used only her name in the property.

What started the argument was the man being wrongly accused of cheating and when he confronted her, his family, parents and background was all insulted and all everyone(most ladies) here saw was "get of my house"

If a girl can insult my parents, myself, my background because I told me to stop accusing me wrongly of cheating, get of my house is a small thing ooo.

Fwesh101:


put yourself in the husband shoes
�

The husband is a thief.

He tried to kick her out of the house she built. When he realised that the woman had wisely protected her investment, he moved out and is now demanding full ownership of the woman's house as his condition for moving back.

You don't have see a man carrying gun before you know he is a robber

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

if you had used the money for ur parents Health only I would have sided with you,but you also used part of your money to build house for them,leaving ur wife with no choice than to use hers to build the the one you now claim you both built.. Did you add her name to the one u built for ur parents? If No So what's the fuse all about?to make matter worse u had the audacity to order her out of the house u rightly know she built with her MONEY,though u claim you didn't mean it,so how can u convince us now that u really didn't mean it?where were u expecting her to go?or you only wanted to torment her emotionally becAuse u knew she had no place to go?,my guy examine your heart,you're very wicked..

Elfmannisback:

But she has been abusing him, accusing him of infidelity. Do u know how it feels?

Lol.
My dear...
Leave matter.

I am not excusing her bad character.
Noooo. I would feel betrayed if I learned that my name is not included. Even if I didn't contribute one naira, just put my name there...otherwise it defeats the goal of oneness in marriage.


But in those moments of weakness, what makes the difference is how the other party handles it.

I know what it's like to be a Choleric and a Phlegmatic because I am one. It means I am one of the most sweetest, nicest people in the world....until I feel cheated, or oppressed or simply can't take some kind of shit anymore. Hehehehehe....I pity you.

Like I said, it all depends on how the partner handles her moments of weakness. Except she is an out rightly bad woman, I want to believe that she does not feel proud of those moments, I really want to believe.

In anger he told her to get the hell out of his house.
If na you nko? Bros, be truthful.

I fault her for not putting the house in their name. I do. She should have seen to that. But maybe there are two reasons here:

1. She was wary of the man's nature, and felt that things might go sour one day, and she'll be left with nothing.

2. Since the man was away when the building started, the paperwork was done in her name as the man wouldn't have been able to sign.

This brings me to my other line of thought...

Why is it okay that a man and a woman sweats to build a house, though the money came from the man, so he puts it in his name. But if the situation were reversed in favour of the woman - all hell is let loose?

Why is it then okay for a man to tell a woman to get out of his house because he owns it, but becomes awful for a woman to remind a man that he cannot tell her to get out because they own the house together, or in rare scenarios...that she built it with her money?

Pride is bad o.
It's bad. A marriage won't last long if you continue letting pride get the best of you. Sometimes, you need to fight it. You need to say YES to humility, whether you are man or woman.
Pride is a stumbling block to progress. If you know, you know...

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

I wish I could see you to talk sense to ur thick skull! Last last, na you go loose out! Your wife is more sensible, prudent, thoughtful and reasonable than you. Now, you've gone for a transfer, without considering the cost / financial /other implications of your spontaneous decision. Just watch how your stupidity , arrogance, pride and ego will lead to the collapse of your marriage and traumatize your children. Your wife will NOT follow you. She'll divorce your silly and weak ass if you'll not behave right. YOUR PRIDE WILL SURELY DESTROY YOU. Ewu of the highest order. My aunty tells her husband almost everyday that their house is in her name. They've been married since 1972. The man lives with her. They built the house together, but she put just her name on the papers. The landed properties are in her name too. So, what are you this arrogant man talking here? You're a boy and not a man.

kenex4ever:
calm down,

He is wrong to tell his wife to leave his house even if he owns d house, just because of a quarrel.

His wife is not a good person too for not using Mr/ Mrs. She has ulterior motive n dat could be d reason she was bold enough to disrespect him.

If d man owned d house, the world will take to be dat it belongs to both of them. My brother owns a lot of lands n houses all in d name Mr/mrs. Mind you d wife is a housewife.

The problem with most "opinionated" women is dat they are very stingy with anything dat belongs to them but they feel they are entitled to whatever belongs to d husband.

Where I blame d man is the fact day he tried or dared to send her out whether jokingly or not.
Another area I blame him is that he refused to allow her make amends by using Mr/mrs even when she agreed to.

Exactly and well said..Snitchy and greedy women trying to outsmart their husbands

Notatribalist:
if you had used the money for ur parents Health only I would have sided with you,but you also used part of your money to build house for them,leaving ur wife with no choice than to use hers [/b]to build the the one you now claim you both built.. Did you add her name to the one u built for ur parents? If No So what's the fuse all about?to make matter worse u had the audacity to order her out of the house u rightly know she built with her MONEY,though u claim you didn't mean it,so how can u convince us now that u really didn't mean it?where were u expecting her to go?or you only wanted to torment her emotionally becAuse u knew she had no place to go?,my guy examine your [b]heart,you're very wicked..

Which probably explains why the woman was not comfortable to put both their names.

If your woman perceives you as a kind, compassionate person...she will always want to carry you along in her dealings.

God forbid that I'm married to a wicked somebori in this my lifetime or next.

ExtraExtra
Na man U be. If U listen to those that tell U to calm down here. Future will never forgive U. If U wan do am better self ehn. DONT TAKE BACK THE PROPERTY. START FROM THE SCRATCH ON YOUR OWN, BUILD, BUY OR RENT YOUR OWN APARTMENT. & REQUEST THEY COME STAY WITH YOU. NA SO REAL MEN DEY DO. I understand the fact she came from a rich home and U being a poor mans kid don't have certain things she has but from your write up, U are smart and educated, which is all nature has blessed U with. If U calm down now and U do mistake cheat or do what normal guys do, SHE WILL NOT ONLY INSULT YOUR POOR PARENTS & POVERTY STRICKEN THIs time. She would go two steps into ur lineage, curse out your great grandparents and even call the kids and tell them the greatest of all lies that U are irresponsible and she owns the house. ..
Long story short - STAND ON YOUR GROUND. BOT ONLY WILL U BE RESPECTED MORE BUT SEEN A REAL MAN WHO TAKES NO SH1T

Platony:


Are u married??,..

If u're nt, den sharrap!!!

Husbands n wives do encounter such mishaps once once,...its part of marriage. Ups & Downs!!...always remember dat!!

Stop being a very stewpiid person.

Are u married with 6 children? Good.
Don't tell ur wife to pack her bags n leave and don't even tell her to leave the room u share together, talk more of the house. Olodo anu offia.

Eketem:



Exactly just imagine how men would feel if after an arguement women tell them to get out of their house. Joke indeed, the God complex to add to it all smh.

While the wife was wrong to have insulted him and his parents he is not a saint in it all. I still don't understand how apart from the insult part this is different from what she posted, she should put the house in his name alone smh. I blame Nigerian women for their desperation sha

You are a rank Idiot. Imagine how women or any human being for that matter would feel if his or her parents are insulted. while the husband was wrong to have threatened her to get out of the house, the wife is not a saint at all.