₦airaland Forum

Nihilstjnr:
If you think abuse is the reason for this mess, you're clearly in denial or deluded.

The alleged abuse is a symptom of the a much deeper malaise in the marriage - the wife had clearly recognised her husband's capability for greed and cruelty.

If you're able to analyse properly, you can see that at every stage, this woman took steps to protect her investment because she knows who she married.

They made money together, but hubby decides he wants to use joint profits to fly his dad out of the country for medical treatment, as well as build a house for his parents. The woman realises that this man is ready to take full control of, and squander their joint funds, so she demands a split.

A sensible man with kids would know that his first priority is to his kids and would have first focused on putting a roof over his children's head. Instead he left his kids under rain and went to build a house for his parents. No surprise he walked away from those kids in the end.

Next, the woman builds the house in her name, again because she knows who she married. If you genuinely think that it's a mere coincidence that the man tried to order her out of the house, then I have a bridge to sell you.

Think about it, the man is claiming to be annoyed that the deeds weren't in both their names, yet he stold her to get out of a house, where as far as he knew at the time, she was listed as a co-owner anyway.

This is a guy who wasn't concerned about her rights in the first place, and the woman clearly recognised these tendencies and took steps to protect her neck.

Steps that have been justified in the end.

I believe there's a lot that hasn't been said yet, but if you think that her insulting his parents is what triggered this wahala, then mehn...you're inexperienced in life.

I just read your last reply, believing all the plan the man made was well calculated towards an aim here is reaching to far, to even assume all you said was the man's intention did you read where they sat down, discussed this and agreed on the way to go, them man paid for his dad ailment and flew out with him, and he knew the wife was buying and developing their house not his/hers, he probably completed his parents house because he wanted a better living condition for him after his treatment and the budget could afford it and still contribute to their own building, will you actually declare a man that had all these discussion with his wife had sinister motives, make we fear GOD ooh

Platony:
Are u married??,..

If u're nt, den sharrap!!!

Husbands n wives do encounter such mishaps once once,...its part of marriage. Ups & Downs!!...always remember dat!!

That is how some husband and wife encountered mishap and the wife is homeless in the village and the side chick is in the house they built. Receive wisdom.

Platony:
Trust such women at ur own peril.

I said it frm d former story, for a good man according to her dat abandoned u and his kids. It must be a serious issue.

Me, am married wit 3 kids, it won't be easy for me to leave my wife n three kids alone to demselves witout smtin rily serious occurring.

OP,....allow her to own d house alone. God wil provide urs.

Fear women!!,...if u doubt me, ask Sampson wetin him see for Delilah hand.

What about David who killed another man and took his wife, shouldn't we fear him.
What about Ananias who as the head led his family into hell fire.
What about all those other men who made silly decisions in the bible, are they not worthy to be feared??

Jackbell17:
Am in this with you my brother. I don't think she is into this attitude alone. She must have had some friend with this selfish character. But I thank God for the exposure. That's what i can say about her. On the other hand, you too have a problem. You are allowing the mundane achievement (house = sand, wood and water) to create a crack in your marriage. God's own instruction of sanctity. If you love her more than the house, take her and her error as you personal cross. You must be man enough, if you are the 'husband' carry your cross. "with man", it may be impossible but not with God. Find a space of forgiveness. Call her, hear her. If she repents, correct her and let God reign in your house. Even if in her name, along as you own her, everything she has is yours. Your marriage is the target of this attack because better and great greatness is about visiting your family. If you could trust and forgive her, she would gain that confidence in you, which is the basis of the divisive suspicions. Be wise. God bless you and your wife.

The best comment so far. Op please ignore everything you have read jus look at this and act every advice here asap. I wish you good luck. And you sir thank you for this.

Respect55:
Why are u so bitter?
Hope u dnt take this tongue wrangling to ur husband's house else u will end up in ur parent's house sooner.

Uncle you better pay attention to your own attitude so that your own marriage can last. I already see you telling a couple of women to get out because of selfishness and pride and leaving alone in old age.

Respect55:
Maybe he should have bn screaming "sisoge's house" Now her marriage is about to hit the rocks, hope u an more e in with her in that house.
Nonsense

THEIR marriage is about to hit the rocks.

utenwuson:
feed a woman for 50 years, no one will know, she feed u for one day, the whole world will know, he has taken a manly decision, he should relocate to a far state and rebuild his ego, his new home and leave the nagging woman, who reminded him of his poor parents and conditions.

he should let her be.... I love being a man.

lol So all the stories we see on nairaland nko. Where men beat and abuse their wives because they're the ones who feed and clothe them, those are all women doing those things in men clothes.

One thing I like about both of you is the fact that none of you distorted facts she was truthful in her write up and you are in yours too. Please forget all that has happened settle with her and continue to build one happy family. The idea behind gathering property is for the benefit of your children you can both change it to your children name and continue to live happily forever I don't like seeing or reading about broken home please your wife loves you and I am sure you love her too. Na you i go beg and not your wife because it's only the man that can make or mar a home. Please sir

Kayyy:
I just read your last reply, believing all the plan the man made was well calculated towards an aim here is reaching to far, to even assume all you said was the man's intention did you read where they sat down, discussed this and agreed on the way to go, them man paid for his dad ailment and flew out with him, and he knew the wife was buying and developing their house not his/hers, he probably completed his parents house because he wanted a better living condition for him after his treatment and the budget could afford it and still contribute to their own building, will you actually declare a man that had all these discussion with his wife had sinister motives, make we fear GOD ooh

A man can fly abroad with his father, but walk away from his kids at the drop of a hat.

He can build a home for his parents with his money, but contribute only a little towards housing his own family.

That sounds like someone who's preoccupied with being a child...Instead of being a father.

That's even beside the point. What is clear to me is that the woman saw this coming and wisely protected her investment.

when you consider that:
1. he tried to kick her out of the house and
2. he's now demanding full ownership of a house he admits to contributing very little to.

it's obvious that her move was justified.

Sensible people will be asking how she was capable of such foresight... I'm sure in her heart of hearts, she knew since day 1 that she was married to a monster.

TonyeBarcanista:
Easier said than done my brother!


Do you know how betrayed he is feeling? Why didn't she inform him from the onset that she bought the property in her name? Was she expecting him to abandon his family and his parents? Was she expecting him to abandon his father when he was ill?

You see, the issue though may be triggered by property but it goes beyond it. It is now a matter of betrayal of trust and treachery.

The sensible thing for him to do is to allow her have the house and get his own (for his family). She can move in with him if she wishes...

He is not the only one feeling betrayed bro. He just confirmed her suspicions that he has a serious ego issues and will leave her homeless if she doesn't tread carefully.

TonyeBarcanista:
My Dear, what is there to forgive? She has betrayed the trust and she appears like a toxic woman. Her faithfulness is even in doubt

His suspected unfaithfulness is what caused this mess.

TheKingIsHere:
Neither did she tell the whole truth.

Neither did he. He should tell us all the things he is doing that is making his wife feel he is cheating. Abegii leave that matter that man is cheating and is looking for how to bring his side chick in. We don see this same pattern many times.

MizMyColi:
In all their years of staying together, I doubt that the woman has ever flexed the "I am the owner of the house" muscle.

I doubt she will also ever tell him "Get out of my house"

It seems the move to make the house solely in her name was more of a tactical one than a "gloating" one.

Who knows, the house might even be in the man's name but she had to say otherwise in other not to be sent out.

oloyede252:
some people by force by fire are just trying to add new members to their association. if you know, you know.

As in eh I just dey use one eye dey look them. All these men advising him to to the manly thing and abandon his marriage, very bitter single men that want him to single, desperate and die alone in old age.

The woman has ruined her marriage. this move by the hubby to leave 100% ownership to the wife will rub her of any happiness she hoped to gain by holding onto the house. Lack of communication from the onset was a major factor.....if you are not happy with your husband spending money to fly his father for treatment why not discuss it rather than planning a counter move and pretending to be ok with it.

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

Sorry to say this but you re shameless, spineless and a complete disappointment to manhood. You re lucky to have the kind kind of wife you do, Some women will divorce you after kicking you out and ask you to do your worst. See how you shamelessly asked her to leave your house..because you thought you have all the cards. The Joke is on you bro.

Guitarlife:
@Op you see the kind of advise I was talking about ? Very bitter women who secretly envy your peacefull and happy home will instigate your wife to scatter her own home too so they can form an association.........Hi Joan

To be honest, It is the man who wants to scatter his own home. This advice should be for him.

Trust me. You did the right thing to leave the house, this demonic spirit called feminism have been the destruction of many homes,
You cannot belitle a man to write your name on a property where you both live and honour such man
In the end, the women still loose
Her option is prostitution, no woman who live alone is regarded
Every one knows they are the stubborn breed who were not properly raised

Acidosis:
The marriage was built on a faulty foundation: The idea of my money, your money, I will spend my money on this, you will spend your own on that . weakened the marriage. No love relationship can function on that platform. It is a mere partnership, and partnerships are bound to break someday.

For some selfish reasons (not love), a lot of couples have embraced this system. This is not entirely bad as far as OP and his spouse share the same ideology about marriage and properties.

As far as marriage is concerned in my own school of thought, all receipts must be in the name Mr. & Mrs (except those gotten before marriage). It doesn't matter who bought them or who paid the children's school fees, it doesn't matter whether you married a sit at home wife or a career woman.

If my wife decides to embrace some selfish interests or make plans for my demise, then she's merely wasting her time. In my lineage, only my grandfather died "prematurely" at age 96. The house he left behind is currently wasting away cos grandmom at age 95+ don't need it anymore. All she does now is sleep and eat. The only way a selfishly acquired property would meet the intended purpose is when a spouse die prematurely (- now this is the message we preach).

@OP, whether in her name or not, if you both see yourselves together in year 2070, there wouldn't be a fight in the first place. However to avoid issues of any form, buy everything in the name - Mr & Mrs and save your marriage.

You keep talking about demise when both the man and woman did not make any mention of it in their post. Its obvious you have an agenda.

Nihilstjnr:
If you think abuse is the reason for this mess, you're clearly in denial or deluded.

The alleged abuse is a symptom of the a much deeper malaise in the marriage - the wife had clearly recognised her husband's capability for greed and cruelty.

If you're able to analyse properly, you can see that at every stage, this woman took steps to protect her investment because she knows who she married.

They made money together, but hubby decides he wants to use joint profits to fly his dad out of the country for medical treatment, as well as build a house for his parents. The woman realises that this man is ready to take full control of, and squander their joint funds, so she demands a split.

A sensible man with kids would know that his first priority is to his kids and would have first focused on putting a roof over his children's head. Instead he left his kids under rain and went to build a house for his parents. No surprise he walked away from those kids in the end.

Next, the woman builds the house in her name, again because she knows who she married. If you genuinely think that it's a mere coincidence that the man tried to order her out of the house, then I have a bridge to sell you.

Think about it, the man is claiming to be annoyed that the deeds weren't in both their names, yet he stold her to get out of a house, where as far as he knew at the time, she was listed as a co-owner anyway.

This is a guy who wasn't concerned about her rights in the first place, and the woman clearly recognised these tendencies and took steps to protect her neck.

Steps that have been justified in the end.

I believe there's a lot that hasn't been said yet, but if you think that her insulting his parents is what triggered this wahala, then mehn...you're inexperienced in life.

YOU ARE WRONG...

TAKING CARE OF ONE'S PARENT IS NOT A BAD IDEA, MEN DO IT FOR THEIR INLAWS AND IF THEY DO THE SAME TO THEIR PARENTS THAT SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED, HIS WIFE WAS ANGRY ABOUT HER IN LAW'S FINANCIAL DEMANDS, THAT IS SELFISHNESS. THAT OLD MAN THAT WAS SICK HAD IN A TIME SPENT HIS LAST KOBO TO BRING THAT HUSBAND UP AND HELPED TO BUILD UP TO A MAN SHE MARRIED. IT IS VERY BAD FOR A WIFE TO TURN HER HUSBAND AWAY FROM HIS PARENTS.

HERE YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT PUTING UP ROOF ON THE CHILDREN'S HEAD AND TAKING CARE OF THEM. WHEN THEY GROW UP AND MARRY AND O.P. WIFE GET THE SAME ILLNESS WOULDN'T SHE EXPECT HER SON TO FLY HER OVERSEAS TO GIVE HER THE BEST MEDICAL TREATMENT. REMEMBER THIS MAN CONTRIBUTED HEAVILY IN BUILDING THE HOUSE AND USED THE LEFT OVER TO BUILD FOR HIS PARENTS.

NOTE THAT HIS WIFE PARENTS ARE FINANCIALLY SUFFICIENT.

MizMyColi:
Funny how it's okay for the man to give that vibe, but not the woman.

For the evil that Nairaland guys claim women are, I have never seen a woman that wakes up to say, "Leave my house" cos they are in a fight. If she stated it's her house, was that not the obvious? Wouldn't the man have said so too? and even add jara of "leave my house"

Too much hocus pocus.

My happiness on this thread is seeing how Men, real correct men o, are condemning his act too.
It gives me satisfaction, and I feel hopeful for humanity.

"YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me"

OP wants the house in his name,so the wife can always be below him. He wants her to keep walking on eggshells knowing she can get thrown out any minute. Very typical...

The other day there was a thread on a woman who got thrown out with her Ghana must go bag . Women done wise up o.

Sure sis, there is hope for humanity.

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

You wife didn't lie. She just didn't go into details. You did trying to whip up sentiments.
Your wife is a good woman. At least she built a house whether it is in her name or not why should it matter? The house is for your family. You probably thought she put you as the owner of the house or you wouldn't have asked her to leave the house.
I think you were itching to leave your marriage because you have a side chic because I can't comprehend why you moved out and transferring out of state. You are so egotistical and incapable of taking charge of your family. If you no longer want to marry her, divorce her and move on.
I know a lady that got divorced with nothing because all the properties they acquired in the course of the marriage was all in the husband's name. As soon as they separated the husband quickly sold off all the properties worth over hundred million naira. He has refused to compensate the wife with absolutely nothing.
Women in Nigeria should protect themselves because the law doesn't protect their interests in the case of divorce.
I am sorry for your wife. She has offered to put the property in both your names and you refused. You are a wicked and proud man.
Any man that supports you here is a product of backward African mentality that women are not equal in marriage.

luciouscookie:
Who knows, the house might even be in the man's name but she had to say otherwise in other not to be sent out.

I honestly sincerely highly doubt

spongeisback:
See the way he wrote the ONLY in caps.

you people are not helping matters.the lovebirds were looking for advice,that will help in solving their marital challenges.but instead of solution,the trash they are getting will be quicker in disolving the marriage.

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

Your story does not add up. U are clearly a proud type but all d best in ur endeavor

declaro:
YOU ARE WRONG...

TAKING CARE OF ONE'S PARENT IS NOT A BAD IDEA, MEN DO IT FOR THEIR INLAWS AND IF THEY DO THE SAME TO THEIR PARENTS THAT SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED, HIS WIFE WAS ANGRY ABOUT HER IN LAW'S FINANCIAL DEMANDS, THAT IS SELFISHNESS. THAT OLD MAN THAT WAS SICK HAD IN A TIME SPENT HIS LAST KOBO TO BRING THAT HUSBAND UP AND HELPED TO BUILD UP TO A MAN SHE MARRIED. IT IS VERY BAD FOR A WIFE TO TURN HER HUSBAND AWAY FROM HIS PARENTS.

HERE YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT PUTING UP ROOF ON THE CHILDREN'S HEAD AND TAKING CARE OF THEM. WHEN THEY GROW UP AND MARRY AND O.P. WIFE GET THE SAME ILLNESS WOULDN'T SHE EXPECT HER SON TO FLY HER OVERSEAS TO GIVE HER THE BEST MEDICAL TREATMENT. REMEMBER THIS MAN CONTRIBUTED HEAVILY IN BUILDING THE HOUSE AND USED THE LEFT OVER TO BUILD FOR HIS PARENTS.

NOTE THAT HIS WIFE PARENTS ARE FINANCIALLY SUFFICIENT.

you clearly don't have kids.

eod.

I still retain my comment on the other thread..
Madam don't change your house deed to his name
The story is still the same.. their really isn't much.. she was honest enough

Yimu. Werey poster and the super story conclusion. In whose name is she supposed to buy the land with her own share? Your mother’s name? Hahahahaha.

JoannaSedley:
This is exactly what she wrote. There is no true story here.

Your ego has destroyed your home oga.

I wish she would woman up and divorce your sorry as.as.

are you trying to solve the problem or trying to disolve the marriage.

Pipedreams:
You always comment like a fool, A bitter feminist that has been hurt to death. May God heal your bruised soul.

Everyone is bitter in you people’s opinions. You regurgitate what you’ve seen others type. No thinking of your own

Stop sounding like a horde of flies buzzing without anything reasonable to say.

MarieSucre:
Uncle the only reason we know she is from a well to do background is because he briefly mentioned it, he did not even bring it up as a reason for their quarrel. He said the main reason for their quarrel was because he was doing somethings that made the wife feel he was cheating on her. Face that one and stop all these other jumping up and down. The man needs to check himself and limit whatever action is making his wife feels she is cheating on him. My 2 cents.

THE MAN HAS NOT DONE ANYTHING WRONG THAT BROUGHT UP SUCH SUSPICION. THE WOMAN MIGHT HAVE HEARD SO MANY BAD STORIES ABOUT BAD HUSBANDS ONLINE AND PUT HER HUSBAND IN THE SAME SCENE.

I AM SAYING THIS BECAUSE I EXPERIENCE THE SAME ACCUSATIONS MANY TIMES WHILE I KNOW I HAD NEVER STOPPED A WOMAN SINCE I MARRIED. NOW I AM USE TO IT, I NORMALLY OVER LOOK IT AND KEEP MY MIND OF FROM THE NOISE. I UNDERSTAND IT IS A MEANS TO KNOW IF I AM STILL IN LOVE AND KEEP ME IN CHECK.

Nihilstjnr:
you clearly don't have kids.

eod.

I HAVE FOUR KIDS. AND MY LAST CHILD IS 5 YEARS TODAY.

I WILL NOT WISH MY CHILDREN TO LEAVE TO DIE IN AN ILLNESS WHEN THEY ARE MARRIED BECAUSE I AM AWAKE THIS NIGHT NOT BECAUSE OF THIS THREAD BUT BECAUSE I AM KEEPING MY EYES ON THE ONE THAT IS SICK CHECKING HIS TEMPLATURE TIME TO TIME. ONE IS HAVING A BLOCK NOSE AND I HAD TO USE NASAL DROP TO RELIEF HER. LATER THEY WILL NOT TAKE CARE OF ME AT MY OLD AGE, GOD FORBIDS. WHY DO I HAVE CHILDREN IF THEY WILL NOT TAKE CARE OFF ME WHEN I NEED THEM. MEANWHILE, I AM USING THIS THREAD TO KEEP MYSELF AWAKE FOR MY KIDS.