pocohantas:


"YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me"

OP wants the house in his name,so the wife can always be below him. He wants her to keep walking on eggshells knowing she can get thrown out any minute. Very typical...

The other day there was a thread on a woman who got thrown out with her Ghana must go bag . Women done wise up o.

Sure sis, there is hope for humanity.

Is it not what I said in my first post earlier on this thread?
Asking to transfer to his name is so he can oppress and subjugate her.

My dear, trust me, if this man is kind to her...like really kind and compassionate, nothing stops her from putting both their names.

@emboldened kwakwakwakwakwakwa

Truely no marriage is perfect and every couple will have issues from time to time but the beauty of a successful marriage is the ability to forgive each other.

Yes, you are hurt but remember that in the heat of the moment you both might have said painful things to each other but in all of this remember SHE STATED YOU ARE A GOOD MAN.

I do pray you find it in your a place in your heart to forgive and live together in harmony because any drastic action taken in anger will eventually have drastic consequences.

Please ask yourself this valid questions:
Do i still love her?
Did she make mistakes?
Has she learnt from her mistakes?
Did you make some mistakes too?
Do you love your children?
Do you want work on fixing your marriage?

Please communication is the key to every successful marriage, you both need to have a heart to heart conversation. In this you will understand why she took such an action and you both will find a place in your heart to forgive each other.

All the best in making the right decision.

appsdope:
Oh extra extra so she just started insulting you. She said the same thing as you. You both had an argument and you asked her to leave. although she didn't go into details. Bad mouth is the nearest synonym to women and I knew from the onset that she said a lot of nasty things. My ex girlfriend insulted me to the extent that she told me that my father was born out of wedlock. I never told her that o and I didnt know but Somehow she knew.
By the way since when did get the hell out of my house become a joke? How will we know if you meant it? She bought the land and started the project so how on earth are you supposed to own the property? The house shouldn't be in your name in the first place. The property is hers. Rent an apartment and move your family that's if you still want the marriage. As for the house, it belongs to her. Go and build your own. As for me, I cant stay in a house where a woman bought even the spoon. Because when you use that spoon to eat and there is an issue, she will tell you how that spoon she bought has been saving your life forgetting that you bought every other thing.

do u have brain at all? Or u have difficulty reading and understanding, u should be ashamed of yourself writing such nonsense, from no understanding of what the man wrote.

declaro:


THE MAN HAS NOT DONE ANYTHING WRONG THAT BROUGHT UP SUCH SUSPICION. THE WOMAN MIGHT HAVE HEARD SO MANY BAD STORIES ABOUT BAD HUSBANDS ONLINE AND PUT HER HUSBAND IN THE SAME SCENE.

I AM SAYING THIS BECAUSE I EXPERIENCE THE SAME ACCUSATIONS MANY TIMES WHILE I KNOW I HAD NEVER STOPPED A WOMAN SINCE I MARRIED. NOW I AM USE TO IT, I NORMALLY OVER LOOK IT AND KEEP MY MIND OF FROM THE NOISE. I UNDERSTAND IT IS A MEANS TO KNOW IF I AM STILL IN LOVE AND KEEP ME IN CHECK.

Uncle leave all this your shouting talk. We would say the same thing if it was a woman who came to tell us her husband is suspecting her of cheating. The man needs to check himself and cut off all those things that are making him look suspicious. He should humble himself and do the needful for his marriage.

Caris77:


My humble submission.

1) marriages pass thru phases and the phase you and your wife is determines the future of the marriage. Pls talk things out with ur wife.

2)probably you acted like most men does when it comes to marriage, which is ; "i can spend money more on my family than yours ". Am not disputing the fact that ur half went on ur dad 's medication but be honest if it were hers would you had allowed her to use her half for her parents medication. You probably would have told her to give some certain amt. And if this were the case , she must have queried herself on what the future holds and did what she did .

3)that she used her name dosent mean she stopped loving you but its for future security should incase what you did or said by asking her to leave ur house comes up.

4)oga , women are moved by what they hear and you stopped telling her how much you appreciate her effort ,started having harmless friends like you said . Some whom you sometimes compliment and of cos she felt threatened of her position and ur Love. So stop all you did or do which made her to question your integrity .

5) you sound like one who doesnt apologise when he is wrong but maybe buys gifts to makeup, and she wil forgive and you wil still do same thing again. Oga things like this can make even the softest, most forgiving woman to harbour resentments ,and the day she will explode, you will marvel at the depth of bitterness from her mouth and i guess this is why you where shocked she insulted you and family members together .
You really pushed her by telling her to leave the house and her full bitterness came up. Show ur wife love and make her fill important again.

6)finally quarel brings out the worst in ppl ,so you showed her what she feared most by telling her to leave ur house and belives putting ur family ,s need most is the reason she did what she did. Pks you guys should make up, dont allow urself think you cant beg her .if this marriage is important to you then put pride aside , call your wife and thrash things out . Let her unburden her years accumulated resentment out and make her know that there is no other her if you claim you dont have another .

Ogwula mu na onu.

Ikwuru hooha!

MarieSucre:


Uncle leave all this your shouting talk. We would say the same thing if it was a woman came to tell us her husband is suspecting her of cheating. The man needs to check himself and cut off all those things that are making him look suspicious. He should humble himself and do the needful for his marriage.

EVERY MAN MUST HUMBLE HIMSELF FOR PEACE TO RAIN IN HIS FAMILY. THAT IS SO TRUE... I HAVE TOLD O.P TO GO BACK HOME AND MAKE IT WORK AGAIN. PEOPLE SHOULD STOP DIGESTING WHAT THEY HEAR OR SEE ONLINE BECAUSE THAT DOES NOT REFLECT WHO YOU ARE OR DESCRIBE YOUR WIFE OR HUSBAND.

I'm super happy that our women are getting smarter day by day.
They must have learnt a lot from most of our mothers mistakes. Some mothers will tell their female daughters not to make the mistakes they made and to fight for their rights.

I read a lot of hidden meaning in that woman's story but didn't want to dwell on them as we didn't hear from the said husband.

It's only the wife that can describe her husband well. She already knew and envisage what will happen and that made her did what she did.
Cos a day like this will eventually come.
She didn't want to expose her husband more than saying he is a proud man. At a point she said he is a good man.
A competent lawyer will see that this woman want to salvage her marriage and loves her husband except that he has issue with pride and pride and anger are mutually related.

If that woman should open her mouth and tell us what caused that said quarrel we will be shocked.

A married man that doesn't have regard for his wife and children's welfare, is that one a man?

Mr husband, let me ask u, I'm sure u have a car, in whose name did u buy the car? Did u add her name in it?


I will not condemn u but I will advise u.
Ur children are looking up to u 2 as their role models and the things they witnessed at young age makes or Mar them.

Some of the doctrines our parents passed down to us may look normal but they are not healthy and it was because they don't know.
Also our children will try to change some of the teachings we passed down to them.

The world has evolved much and if u don't evolve with it, u will be left behind.

Sorry my religious brothers and sisters but the holy books dont define happy marriage anymore cos it cage the woman and most women arent happy. When u raise some issues up, instead of the man to look for solutions, he will want to massage his ego by quoting those famous lines from the holy books added with the archaic training received while growing up.
Had u been doing the right thing, this woman would have carried u along.

It's no longer the man's world. Women allowed it to be for peace to reign and mostly because of the kids but they shouldnt always be cowed into submission because of that cos they are humans too.

Swallow ur pride and make your kids proud by going back to their mama and apologise. Also apologise to us kids. Yes, no matter how small u think they are, they know what is going on.
U want the best from ur wife, treat her like a mistress and queen and she will worship the ground u walk on.


How u handles anger when it comes is what makes u a man.
Ur wife can learn from u.
We all are imperfect and should be giving that chance for redemption.

Ur wife suggested joint ownership.
Let it go for now and seek her out, on her own, she will insist on doing that and will even tell u the reason she did it in the first place.
Divorce is not healthy nor separation especially to the kids. U might go and marry another but are U sure it won't be worst than the first?
And the fight among children.
Once u have kids involved, u learn how to be selfless cos they deserve the best from u both.

oshe11:
Exactly my thought and why I didnt support her at first......



Lemme shock You

Lemme burst your brain....

She MIGHT have cheated on You and thats why she wanted to accuse you of being a cheat, so she can validate herself for cheating because you cheated



I knew she was angry when you helped your parents but didnt wanna show it and thats why she decided to put ONLY her name......

If she felt what she did was reasonable, why did she collect money from you to complete the house?

Why didnt she tell you her plans of putting ONLY her name just like you told her about yours from Adam?

Its obvious you trusted the wrong woman, hence you didnt bother to check THE DOCUMENTS....


IN ALL YOU'VE WRITTEN;

This is my Favorite quote "I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if....."


This is the link to HER ONE-SIDED STORY
https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294

Who is this one, is that the best you can do? Can't you pretend and be a peace maker instead of adding fuel the fire?
Please next time try to offer solution for the sake of the kids.

After reading the husband's part of the story, I could sense pride, dishonesty and no transparency on the part o f both parties.

Mr husband, no one should take sides. You are both wrong and the problem didn't start recently. It started the day you used your part of the money to cater for your parents(justified though) but not carefully thrashing it out with her. She must have felt ambushed and arm twisted by your decision which you likely carried out MANLY of course.

For her to be suspicious of your dealings means something was actually wrong and all you had to do was give her some reassurance. You telling her to pack out just sent shit right to the ceiling.

Bros. You need to rebuild that home. Would you like to have your children grow up in a broken home and exhibit a worse display of character when they are grown ups?

Her family will never support her.( no sane parents would) they want their daughter to remain married so they will oonly castigate her and beg you to reason beyond anger.

See this as a collective fault and tackle it as the head of the house.

Carefully sort this out and live your life away from social media.

She's your wife. You guys allowed the dark spot to grow so big because you fuelled with lack of love and c communication.


Bros do well by talking to your wife and settling thius matter like adults and partners. Don't make her feel she's inferior to you because she's a lady.

You wanna take kids away from her? You both own them. The moment you do that, you create a bad platform for your kiuds and they will suffer most not your wife.

Think smarter and better bros.
Put anger under your foot where it should be
Throw pride into the sewage. It should be there forever
Rise up and filled your home with sweet smelling love and watch her apologise and behave like the lady you married.

Hotfreeze:
Look at how Nairalanders have misled this one. Teenagers and serial cheats are advising this man and his wife to the point of ruining their marriage.

Secondly, when you have my property and your property, my parents and your parents, my house and your house, that marriage won't last.

That being said, you should be ashamed of yourself for asking your wife to leave the house for you. However, I feel the way she told you must have felt like a form of castration to you.

Maybe you should go out and let the useless girls of today ruin you finally so that you can spend your old age in regrets. If you had commonsense, you'll shut up, stay in that house and build your home.

I hope you guys find a middle ground and compromise in all these.

I think this is the most sensible thing I ve read on page 2. I also think the middle ground would be changing the name on the property to Mr and Mrs. It will be hard initially but trust can still be built. Some marriages have seen worse but still come out stronger. I'm not an advocate of divorce except when marriage is life threatening. I think it's unfair to ask the woman to change the name to his only.

This ExtraExtra is a pure narcissist. He even chose to break his marriage over his ego. His story corroborated his wife's version. He obviously needs psychological support but just like most NPD patients he won't believe he needs help.

My ten kobo, calm down and fix your marriage. There is no big issue here.

in my own word...everybody is saying why joke with the word "leave my house" after recieving so many insult and even insulting his wife, I am sure if the lady in question came here to tell us how the husband battered her after she insulted his parent. That means you people would have killed the man. The get out of my house is an involuntary action because he himself was confused. OP next time, take a walk out of the house and go drink some bottles, Take clothes with you and sleep in a hotel for some days too.I hear alot of people saying they sense pride, of what use is a man if there is no pride. You do not want a dummy as a husband do you?.
Too many single, divorce n embittered women in Nairaland. All of them are forming strong lady... If the OP's wife is reading, plz do not listen to them, I repeat do not listen to them. Majority of them bragging out here are slaves to their husband, they get the beating of their lives daily and come out here to point what they can't do in their home.But Oga OP u over trusted sha, I can't imgaine not going through papers before she proceed depositing document with the bank.
Try to make things work again for the sake of your kids.Cool off for a while, If the love is still there, go back home the kids misses you. They need you around this holiday season.
When you go home, give her so space for now. Do not eat her food and always do your laundry yourself.

DukeNija:
I laughed when I saw that woman’s story. Didn’t make any sense and many people went along with it. Oga I wish you goodluck in whatever decision you take.

Same with me. I doubt those people are married

Marriage is pointless and useless

For the man to be willing to push her out of "his house" is absurd & wicked.. Just because u both had a misunderstanding. Truth is she owns the property & u can't blackmail her in anyway into changing the name to urs na.. For what its her money that was invested there & not urs. Try to resolve ur differences but u can't expect her to just give u the house she suffered for. I wish u guys the best.. Make i find sleep joor

Oga you guys problem is just ego clashes that maturity should sort out...you guys are just two spoiled brat, your wife want to stick with her affluence advantage, while you want to show her that you have arrived. Families with protracted illness, years of infertility, poverty etc. are living in peace but you guys have it all and want to throw it into garbage. Take the lead, heal your home this is just a phase. A real leader must be willing to serve and take a lot of shit...The house you two want to separate on top will be in want of occupants soon as those kids find there bearings. It is going to be just two of you and a lot of empty, stuffy rooms. A devil you know is better than an unknown angel...bottled grievances can be released and forgiven.

MarieSucre:


He is not the only one feeling betrayed bro. He just confirmed her suspicions that he has a serious ego and will leave her homeless of she doesn't tread carefully. I suspect he is cheating on her.

Sister, NOTHING will ever justify the irresponsible act of the wife. SIMPLE!

Meanwhile, he never meant to chase her out, it's like someone saying "get out, I don't want to see you again"...

[quote author=TonyeBarcanista post=69567649]Brother, NOTHING will ever justify the irresponsible act of the husband. SIMPLE!


Please miss me with the "he never meant to" tripe.

He never meant to! He never meant to! Many women don die.

We all have a red line , should my wife cross it I might act stupid. The wife was totally wrong in reminding him of his poor background. Infact a no no....

Oga the truth is that property itself was a product of marriage, so you can not lay exclusive claim to it, even it was built solely by you.

As a fellow married man, I will suggest you drop your ego and allow the name change to your kids only. Please move back to the house and forget about going elsewhere.

Mind you I am not supporting her rather am with you but go back to the house.

sisisioge:


Your story corroborated hers sir! You guys are on exactly the same page! Summary, you wanted her to change the name on a property you just confirmed that she owns the lion share of to your name alone! Awwww...you are so smart!

Anyways, my understanding of the story as pulled from your story and hers says you were practically trying to defraud her!

1. She got the property (landed)
2. She did the paper works
3. She started building
4. You spent your own money on your parents's house
5. The remaining money, which you admitted isn't much was used to finish the house.

God is still in heaven, be fair in your dealings oga sir! Whew!

What stopped her from doing the paper work in both names? Or, tell him of her plans to do it in her name?

How u handles anger when it comes is what makes u a man.
Ur wife can learn from u.
We all are imperfect and should be giving that chance for redemption.

Sassysure, your head dey there.

Some of us women na correct hot plate o.

But the partner makes all the difference cos over time you realize that gra gra is unnecessary given how maturedly your partner handles your crazy moments.

So you will just by yourself advise yourself to be cooler in your approach to things.

alfchye:
in my own word...everybody is saying why joke with the word "leave my house" after recieving so many insult and even insulting his wife, I am sure if the lady in question came here to tell us how the husband battered her after she insulted his parent. That means you people would have killed the man. The get out of my house is an involuntary action because he himself was confused. OP next time, take a walk out of the house and go drink some bottles, Take clothes with you and sleep in a hotel for some days too.I hear alot of people saying they sense pride, of what use is a man if there is no pride. You do not want a dummy as a husband do you?.
Too many single, divorce n embittered women in Nairaland. All of them are forming strong lady... If the OP's wife is reading, plz do not listen to them, I repeat do not listen to them. Majority of them bragging out here are slaves to their husband, they get the beating of their lives daily and come out here to point what they can't do in their home.But Oga OP u over trusted sha, I can't imgaine not going through papers before she proceed depositing document with the bank.
Try to make things work again for the sake of your kids.Cool off for a while, If the love is still there, go back home the kids misses you. They need you around this holiday season.
When you go home, give her so space for now. Do not eat her food and always do your laundry yourself.

If he does not eat her food, where is the reconciliation?

MarieSucre:


As in eh I just dey use one eye dey look them. All these men advising him to to the manly thing and abandon his marriage, very bitter single men that want him to single, desperate and die alone in old age.

U don't die with anyone. Unmarried men live longer even.

foyeks2001:
Mr Man, u r a selfish being ...u asked someone that has the lion share of the said landed property to pack out of her own house. God is watching you.

na them! Slay Queen without brain, you no get husband, you're planing to destroy som1 home, must you insult the man before you comment? If you don't know what to say, Just shut up.

Oga, since you don't want to continue to live in that house but you still want her, kindly rent an apartment for all of you while she rents her house out. It is cool that you don't want her to change the property's name again. Why then the fuss?
Please, go back to her and tell her that you still love her but that you desire to be the one who provides her with a home, hence the need to park out with you while she rents out her own house.
Please, I don't support the transfer.
For the people supporting her for building the property in her own name alone, aren't they a couple? Secondly, the contribution he made towards the completion of the property, was it not something? Why didn't she tell him of her plans to register the property in her name?
Oga, you don't have much problems in your own home. It is just this property issue. And you are willing for her to have it, why seek for transfer again? All you have belongs to your wife and all that your wife has belongs to you, if both of you are christianans.

You are a thief.
A very big one for that matter.
So you want her to change the name on the property to your name only after you used your share to take care of your family.

Thank God she refused. So if the house had been in your name, you would have chased her out?
Hahahaha she saw through you and did the right thing to protect her future.

If you like, move out. Las las, she will rent out the property and still make money.
You are the loser in all this.

pocohantas:


"YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me"

OP wants the house in his name,so the wife can always be below him. He wants her to keep walking on eggshells knowing she can get thrown out any minute. Very typical...

The other day there was a thread on a woman who got thrown out with her Ghana must go bag . Women done wise up o.

Sure sis, there is hope for humanity

MizMyColi:


Is it not what I said in my first post earlier on this thread?
Asking to transfer to his name is so he can oppress and subjugate her.

My dear, trust me, if this man is kind to her...like really kind and compassionate, nothing stops her from putting both their names.

@emboldened kwakwakwakwakwakwa

ndi anya mepere, see them

alfchye:
in my own word...everybody is saying why joke with the word "leave my house" after recieving so many insult and even insulting his wife, I am sure if the lady in question came here to tell us how the husband battered her after she insulted his parent. That means you people would have killed the man. The get out of my house is an involuntary action because he himself was confused. OP next time, take a walk out of the house and go drink some bottles, Take clothes with you and sleep in a hotel for some days too.I hear alot of people saying they sense pride, of what use is a man if there is no pride. You do not want a dummy as a husband do you?.
Too many single, divorce n embittered women in Nairaland. All of them are forming strong lady... If the OP's wife is reading, plz do not listen to them, I repeat do not listen to them. Majority of them bragging out here are slaves to their husband, they get the beating of their lives daily and come out here to point what they can't do in their home.But Oga OP u over trusted sha, I can't imgaine not going through papers before she proceed depositing document with the bank.
Try to make things work again for the sake of your kids.Cool off for a while, If the love is still there, go back home the kids misses you. They need you around this holiday season.
When you go home, give her so space for now. Do not eat her food and always do your laundry yourself.

You bear the Crown for most sensible comment here. I've read loads of horsesh1t from people with superficial understanding. Between couples there are usually a huge sea of undercurrents, multilayered and subtle nuances, a history of emotions and reactions, shared memories determining events. Dishing out advise in such a scenario is usually dangerous cos one understands so little. And so many do not just offer advise they lace it up with unnecessary insults and derogatory words.

From the man's angle it's the issue of breach of trust but not many reason it so. All they see is 'property' and 'pride'. It's not about the property per se. From the onset there was an agreement, an understanding which the present reality of the wife putting the property in her name disregarded.

Many of the advise here are absolutely idiotic. The man and his wife should shut their minds from the bovine advise and thrash nairalanders offer in the name of advise.

hope4nigeria:
na them! Slay Queen without brain, you no get husband, you're planing to destroy som1 home, must you insult the man before you comment? If you don't know what to say, Just shut up.

It's the insults that I don't understand.

Daisythof:
You are a thief.
A very big one for that matter.
So you want her to change the name on the property to your name only after you used your share to take care of your family.

Thank God she refused. So if the house had been in your name, you would have chased her out?
Hahahaha she saw through you and did the right thing to protect her future.

If you like, move out. Las las, she will rent out the property and still make money.
You are the loser in all this.

But she said she wants him back.

Analysiscorner:
Oga, since you don't want to continue to live in that house but you still want her, kindly rent an apartment for all of you while she rents her house out. It is cool that you don't want her to change the property's name again. Why then the fuss?
Please, go back to her and tell her that you still love her but that you desire to be the one who provides her with a home, hence the need to park out with you while she rents out her own house.
Please, I don't support the transfer.
For the people supporting her for building the property in her own name alone, aren't they a couple? Secondly, the contribution he made towards the completion of the property, was it not something? Why didn't she tell him of her plans to register the property in her name?
Oga, you don't have much problems in your own home. It is just this property issue. And you are willing for her to have it, why seek for transfer again? All you have belongs to your wife and all that your wife has belongs to you, if both of you are christianans.

I don't think we have to blame the woman for using her name. It was their agreement which the husband consented to when she said she is going to use her own part of the money to buy the land, the problem here is never the woman rather it started from the begining of their marriage, how they define the marriage. How can husband and wife do business together and at the end they shared their profit. It means they are just business partners and everyone is entitled to use his/her money for whatever. What happened to having joint account from the begining, what happens to planning jointly and doing things together?