MIKOLOWISKA:
if it were her parents that fell sick nko

I'm not against him taking care of his parents.

keepingmum:
The foolish pride and arrogance your wife described off ur character is evident in your write up.

You haven't bought sense after these years.

TonyeBarcanista:

Too bad you learnt the hard way

For me, I've always had that philosophy! Even if her father is Dangote, I rather soak my garri than collect from her

I had that philosophy before then but sometimes, love makes us bend our rules. It was the first time and I promised myself not to ever allow it repeat itself.

DKM123:
Oga, this story proves you are a bully and a very inconsiderate human being and I think your wife made a good decision.


Even from this write up, you talk about taking the children as if YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS SOLE RIGHT TO THE KIDS. It shows your mindset. Little wonder you INSIST she changes the name to ONLY YOURS even though she suggested that both of you use your name. .

You are a typical NIGERIAN BULLY HUSBAND. I don't blame you though. As can be evidenced on nairaland, most Nigerian men are taught to think of women as less human and second class citizens without rights.

You tell her to move out of your house (typical!). A house YOU KNOW FULLY WELL YOU DID NOT BUILD BOTH FINANCIALLY AND PHYSICALLY but BECAUSE you thought it was in your name. Choi! Your mindset is crazy!


Now as for you madam, you should have used both your names from the very start. Even if he used his share to do other things, you two are one body and as such the home belongs to you two. I suspect you think he spent some of it on another lady BUT DO YOU HAVE ANY PROOF? If you dont have concrete proof and just mere instinct then you may or may not be wrong.
However, whatever you do, DON'T CHANGE THE PAPERS TO ONLY HIS NAME. You will regret it. It should be both your names. Not (Mr and Mrs Ego Extra) cos this can backfire in court but (Mr Ego Extra and Mrs Eestwell Extra).
This is Nigeria. No one fights for the wife. Not even your relative sometimes. Don't be stupid enough to change the name to his alone!


You see this SHAMELESS HYPOCRITES on nairaland, ignore them. If you were the one who insist that your husband changes the document of the house he built to your name ALONE, Angel Gabriel will literally blow the trumpet because there will be tsunami, avalanche, hailstones and thunderstorm on here. They dont even have any idea how utterly hypocritical they are. I mean it. Its like a mad person having no clue they are mad. They are a 100% clueless as to how much hypocrisy they exhibit on here.



That said, this bull crap about 99% of the responsibility of the family being together lying solely on the wife is so 1618. No one is dumb enough to buy that nonsense any longer. Even a new born baby now knows that it takes both grown adults in a marriage to make the marriage work.

OGA, THIS IS 2018! GROW UP! JOIN HANDS WITH YOUR WIFE TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE WORK. OKAY?!

You are so unbaised. God bless you for saying it the way it ought to be.

pocohantas:


It is funny how once the table turns, you guys come crying about ego. Which human being doesn't have ego? Which human doesn't want respect? Or you men convinced yourselves you want and deserve it more? Everyday there is a story of a woman who gets thrown out of her home. I don't see you typing epistle on how her ego got bruised. I don't see you come to tell us how women shouldn't collect money from men. You and your cohorts never talk about how made men treat their dependent wives.

Everyone should treat their spouses as they will love to be treated. Women learnt from the experiences of their mothers.

Yes,a wise woman builds her home.
What does a wise man do?

It is not my job to comment on every thread about marital crisis so if you do not see me commenting on the ones that affects women, it means I didn't see it. When I saw the initial thread,I asked the woman not to change the documents of the property to his name for any reason. I didn't even know this was the genesis of the problem. One thing is sure and that's the fact that if I was in his position, I'd never feel comfortable with that woman and would also not live in that house again.

And just so you know, I'm an advocate of treating everyone the way you want to be treated. It doesn't matter if one is a male or female. Just treat everyone fairly and justly. People who know me well, know I'm one of the sweetest folks around.

chronique:


I had that philosophy before then but sometimes, love makes us bend our rules. It was the first time and I promised myself not to ever allow it repeat itself.

The good thing is that you realised it earlier. While growing up, there was this neighbor whose wife was doing "fine" and she even bought a car but the man's situation was nothing to write home about. Their children tilted towards the woman (she earn the big bucks) while the man was glorified daddy.

The greatest mistake OP did was his failure to put in place informal standing rules of the union prior to marriage. He allowed love to take control of his senses and now the result is what we are seeing.

Apparently that’s not true since the man can easily ask her to leave. And he did ask her to leave. So that means his property can’t be hers. But since she owned it, she has never asked him to leave did she? Says a lot

The evidence is against you. Many women have been cheated out of property they acquired with their men because they allowed only his name to be on it. Dishonestly is foul. Stop it

TonyeBarcanista:

SIMPLE!

What is owned by the husband is owned by the family but that can't be said of a woman (in most cases)

cococandy:
financially? Lol. How did you conclude that I need financial help?

“Otherwise“ what does that even mean?

Send me a mail. We can get things done

cococandy:
financially? Lol. How did you conclude that I need financial help?

“Otherwise“ what does that even mean?

The 'otherwise' is not for police consumption

[quote author=MarieSucre post=69582036]

See this bitter single male prostitute, looking for how to wreck another man's home. Aren't you ashamed, talking cho cho cho, yet no single sensible advice. Keep advising people, don't advice yourself, I look forward to your divorce story in nairaland. [/

Lol. What is the meaning of male prostitute. Haven't heard of dat b4

That poster is a male

Don’t buy the BS.

Nihilstjnr:


I think you're suffering from cognitive dissonance, because the person who actually abandoned his marriage and kids and moved to a different state is that person you're defending.

the rest of your post is complete garbage. 'Get out of my house is a commonly used phrase in Nigeria mainly because the husband's viewpoints are actually widely shared by Nigerian men.

it's almost as if you don't know that the phrase 'get of my house' is very often followed by the wife or woman actually being bundled out.

Nobody is that naive to believe that a Nigerian man ordered his wife out of the house in jest, in a country where wives generally have very few rights anyway.

I can see you're female. I hope you never find yourself in a similar situation before the stupidity of your current argument finally dawns on you....

cococandy:
Apparently that’s not true since the man can easily ask her to leave. And he did ask her to leave. So that means his property can’t be hers. But since she owned it, she has never asked him to leave did she? Says a lot

The evidence is against you. Many women have been cheated out of property they acquired with their men because they allowed only his name to be on it. Dishonestly is foul. Stop it

Coco my sister,

If you read his submission, he said he had assumed that the property was registered in their names only to realise years later that he's been scammed.

Only a woman that anticipate divorce or death of the man would behave the way OP's wife did. How many more secret is she keeping away from the OP?

Meanwhile, she doesn't need to ask him to leave, she acted the way she did because she anticipated her life without him. Thank God he's wise enough to leave the place for her.

Meanwhile, men don't usually anticipate life without their family or a good wife. OP angrily asked her to leave because she used toxic words on him, his lineage and his family.

I, will do same if a woman that calls herself my wife insult my parents, my family or my lineage. She can return when she is ready to act responsibly.

Scammed out of what?

You’re kidding right? I didn’t read past that. You’re obviously biased.

Jut ask yourself this. if a man did a business with his woman. They shared the profit and she used her for her family (at this point all of you would be calling for her head already), then expects her name to be out solely on the proceeds from the man’s share after asking him to pack out and it backfired, would you be saying she was scammed?

I know it’s really difficult for you guys to put yourselves in other people’s shoes that’s reason why a lot of you support injustice. Otherwise if you’re able to ask yourself “if I’m this other person who would I feel”? , We wouldn't be having conversations like this.

TonyeBarcanista:

Coco my sister,

If you read his submission, he said he had assumed that the property was registered in their names only to realise years later that he's been scammed.

Only a woman that anticipate divorce or death of the man would behave the way OP's wife did. How many more secret is she keeping away from the OP?

Meanwhile, she doesn't need to ask him to leave, she acted the way she did because she anticipated her life without him. Thank God he's wise enough to leave the place for her.

Meanwhile, men don't usually anticipate life without their family or a good wife. OP angrily asked her to leave because she used toxic words on him, his lineage and his family.

I, will do same if a woman that calls herself my wife insult my parents, my family or my lineage. She can return when she is ready to act responsibly.

Respect55:

Send me a mail. We can get things done

Yea slide right into my email. Lmao

You’re going to help me financially . You need your own comedy act. Very funny.

Evathyst:
I honestly don't know why we are all stressing ourselves. This issue has shown it's peculiarity ab initio.


Two matured people conceived an idea to do a business. They contributed towards it and shared the profit equally. They were supposed to start a project with it, but someone used his own share to cater for his immediate family (Selfishness No 1).



Any man that tells his wife; 'Get the hell out of my house!' is not only selfish but also wicked. 'Your house?' I thought marriage joins people together, so where did that personal pronoun 'I' come from?


Thirdly, now that the table has turned, he now wants the document to bear his name alone (Another act of selfishness). Whoever cannot see what the man is up here is either blind, deaf, dumb or outrightly selfish just like the man.


Na wa o! Some people's wickedness beats the devil's own hands down.

She bought the land but they built the house together. It was after the house was completed, he moved to complete his family's house with his balance. Y'all can support the woman, but don't twist what both of them said just ti drive home your point. She owns the land, but they both own the building on it .

HEseesall:
The property only is in my name but we built it together

ExtraExtra:
back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank. .

While there's plenty of blame to go around, the wife is not exactly trustworthy.

MarieSucre:

Uncle stop with your foolish infantile excuses. He himself said it that there were some actions he was taking that made her feel he was cheating on her. I hope you will also give this advice to men who suspect their wives of cheating too.

feel being the operative word. did he say he was cheating. who con Jose now. who is being ppl upandan? if she want divorce she ask for it not insult his parents

MarieSucre:


Uncle that means a lot more women would have killed their husbands all around Nigeria. Not only do the men insult them because they're the ones feeding and clothing the women, they also beat them and cheat on them.

In other words, shut da f**k and stop making kindergarten excuses for bad behaviour.

my madam
why did they marry men that insult them
my classmate killed her husband
she is in jail now
who lose
you that is throwing insult since instead of stating your case are the baby brain here,just like the woman

foolish women
always starting what they can't finish

My sister, I weak

cococandy:
So basically. She did not lie

Bass123:
Bros you're wrong to let her write only your name on the document. Have you forgotten the house and the woman both belong to you? Marriage is not about 'I' s, but 'we' s and 'our' s'.
I will suggest that the house shld be co-owned in both your names. Though your wife was wrong too, to have done that which she felt cheated which was though for a good course you would have sacrifice for her if her parents were involved too. But one thing you should know is that women behave ackward generally, which God has wired us to fix it.
Remember, he who leaves a fight lives to fight it another day, if I were you, I will put a stop to my transfer and fix my family rather than to allow ego take over.
You can actually do it yourself without inviting anyone by studying this document I have attached to this. God bless you.

you are an idiot,

MarieSucre:


His cheating is the cause. If she was the one that was suspected of cheating now

so I'm your village you jail suspected thieves without proof

, yall would not talk about anything else. Y'all would harp on it

I am not y'all
I don't do speculation
and if I do I walk out not go and start fight that I will lose like a fool

- Check yourself madam
- Try to close early from work, in fact don't go to work again, your husband is your number one priority
- Don't go to work away weekends, stay at home and cook his favorite food and f**k him on top the hot stove etc etc etc etc

Now you're trying to deflect, lai lai. He is cheating and he needs to check himself.

even if he is cheating
how e take concine his parents
how is her insulting then help her
she was badly brought up why they had to marry her off to whoever showed the slightest interest
dem plenty for my estate

MarieSucre:


Why don't you marry your ego and give birth to little eg-ren since its more important to you than family.

we already doing that
cos your lot just not worth it

MarieSucre:


You're not making sense. Dismissed!

you don't accuse someone without proof

funmisticqueen:
hr should have given her proof and put her heart to rest

how do you proud to someone that has made their mind up. this is how children are suspected of witchcraft are burnt at the stake

cococandy:
Scammed out of what?

You’re kidding right? I didn’t read past that. You’re obviously biased.

Jut ask yourself this. if a man did a business with his woman. They shared the profit and she used her for her family (at this point all of you would be calling for her head already), then expects her name to be out solely on the proceeds from the man’s share after asking him to pack out and it backfired, would you be saying she was scammed?

I know it’s really difficult for you guys to put yourselves in other people’s shoes that’s reason why a lot of you support injustice. Otherwise if you’re able to ask yourself “if I’m this other person who would I feel”? , We wouldn't be having conversations like this.

Coco, the man contributed his cash to the development of the property. If she was sincere wouldn't she inform him that the land is in her name since it was "her share" that was used to buy it so as to enable the man appreciate the true situation and determine his next step? But NO, she hid it and even used his cash to add to the building.

Every sincere spouse know that whatever befalls the parents of either party also affects them. At that point a wise woman will not say "you use your money to treat your father", instead she would say "we used part of THE money to treat Papa". Only a wicked wife would utter the former!

If my mother/father in-law has ailments, I will see it as my problem and not just my wife. But Op's wife doesn't care! It is her kind that prays for demise of MILs.

She should keep the apartment

Anextin:

What is wrong with you, are you an emperroor

In my household yes

that one can't have a divergent view from yours.

you can diverge all you want
just not under my roof

You keep attacking everyone who doesn't applaud the man.

you keep attacking whoever doesn't applaud the woman

The business was even the woman's idea, and am sure most of the 65% money came from her irrespective of what the op said.

so you're a mind reader now
Oya what am I thinking

She started the house, and he just added what he had left from the travel which means 75% funds did come from her, yet she's willingly to compromise,

it's too late for that
you step on a scorpion you learn the hard way

and all she's asking for is how to make her proud man understand and accept joint ownership. Yet you see her as the villain.

her tongue and lack of class is the villain
she shouldn't have attacked without proof and without being ready for the consequences

now who is begging upandan

Please enough of your tantrums, go and get busy!!!!!

is it your busy
if you're so busy why did you reply me
shior

freshvine:


The best investment in life should be her husband other possession is immaterial. she'll die and leave properties behind but her imprint in this life is the husband she raised souls with.

its apparent her marriage is with a cluse. she never believe in marriage and committment.

get out of my house is a phrase commonly used in marriage relationships some women are even daring to lock their husbands out of homes if they misbehave.

in western countries, the man is thrown out regardless.

she has been investing in a man who has not given her a reason to trust him 100%. how has that panned out for her, is it not the same man that wanted to throw her out.
has her case not become stories that touch because the man is greedy and wants to massage his ego, did she throw him out of the house despite knowing it is in her name

addictiv:

Well sluggards would rather prefer to live in denial and adhere to stupid rantings of insecure, misogynist, men with over bloated egos. A real man would obtain valid proof of his wives adulterous affairs and not acting on childish impulses.

are you blind or can't read
she accused him of adultery without proof
and like you started hurling insults when she saw her stupidity
but when e happen she begin de run from pillar to post

I have seen women who have the worst tongues on the planet, who literally spit fire but you would not believe how gentle and submissive they are when their husbands who are real men are around,

just watch how she will be calm from now on
cos he is treating her fuckup properly

because real men treat their women right.

how has he mistreated her
is she not the one mistreating him
and he is disciplining her which is what REAL MEN DO

Its only an insecure fool that would drag properties with his wife and sees her as a competition because he comes from a poor background and she's well off. And after slaving for the family all she gets in return is to be thrown out empty handed while the alofrate runs around town with scores of women,

IF she is truly the bread winner then why is she begging the man

Unfortunately for him the plan backfired.

speed bump
still on course
who is begging now
she will be brought to her knees
Shebi she no get good training
she will learn outside

This is what happens when women get married to little boys who think they can now keep a family after sighting the first strand of pubic hair. But you wouldn't know that would you?

what I know is women do not respect bit ch asss niggas like you

MIKOLOWISKA:
how do you proud to someone that has made their mind up. this is how children are suspected of witchcraft are burnt at the stake

for that you need to adress the issues and come out with the truth, if you were somewhere, what is your alibi, let her check it out, let her have access to your phone

For the Woman to exclude the man's name it's evil. That woman can kill him or file for a divorce soonest. Even after everything she said and he affirmed that he used his money to complete the building she couldn't go change it secretly. She has been anticipating a failed Marriage someday.

Evathyst:
I have a feeling that dude named 'MIKOLOWISKA' is the same UP. Else, he won't be up in arms attacking everyone whose opinion negates his.

mikolowiska doesn't tell ppl to get out of house he hasn't seen seen the documents

mikolowiska simply trying to let ppl male and female know they shouldn't bite more than they can chew

stop poking the bear then crying when it detours you

Thank you Zirah for adding another twist to this plot. So, the house the mofo built for his parents is in whose name? Theirs or his? The answer to that question alone will mail his coffin.

he dint build o
he completed

To be honest, even I too can't build a house in my father's name when I have none yet.

ppl are different

God forbid, if he dies, my siblings who happen to be mostly boys will just easily put me out with the 'You're a woman tag'.

you have a terrible family

Like the yorubas often say; 'Oko o kin je ti Baba t'omo ko ma la'la'. Meaning a farm yard doesn't belong to both the father and child without a boundary.


That guy is simply a thief, crook, rogue and an egotistic fraudster. If he's not, let him settle with his wife and move into the apartment without demanding for a name change.

may you marry a man you will be feeding

If not for what he has up his sleeve, what has the name on a document (ordinary paper) got to do with marriage?

why did she insult his parents knowing that will set him off
now e don happen she's begging upandan

Is the woman collecting tent from him? Is she bringing in other man to the house? Abegi! Most Naija Men are narcist!

and most women marry them knowing full well what they're getting into
why you no go marry pesin wit no ambition
you can't eat your cake and have it

you want to marry an alpha
fvcking submit before he goes silver back on your Dumbasss

PamaB:
For the Woman to exclude the man's name it's evil. That woman can kill him or file for a divorce soonest. Even after everything she said and he affirmed that he used his money to complete the building she couldn't go change it secretly. She has been anticipating a failed Marriage someday.

How?? There was no issue until the man told her to leave THEIR house. Who is the evil one?

CASTOSVILLA:
They're not sharing spoils of war. That was a bad move by both parties.

Yes, a very bad move.

Some events in their past has long established massive trust issues.