My wife and her family members are driving me crazy. Their involvement in my home is becoming embarrassing. I may have to give my wife the red card asap. Her family poke noses into all my affairs. How I spent my money, who I give my money to, who I visit, and so on. All they want is to continue to expend money on them and live my life for them. I got their daughter a job, her salary isn't enough for them, how can I be taking care of able bodied men who have refused to work with their certificates, looking for jobs with good pays before they'll work, their pensioner father is not also helping matters, very difficult to please. I have made it known to my wife that our marriage contract did not include pleasing her family members but she won't listen then I worked my transfer from Lagos to Abuja, yet they're on my neck. My wife's younger brother is presently in Abuja without any clear cut mission other than to come and monitor my affairs. He called me around 7pm yesterday to tell me he's in Utako and that I should come and pick him from pack, I told him I didn't invite him to Abuja so why should I pick him up? I asked him if he didn't have a mission before coming and why he should get to Abuja before notifying me that he's coming to my place. I shunned him and switched off my phone. I switched on the phone now only to read 3 abusive text messages from my wife and one from her father threatening that if anything happens to his son, I'll be held responsible. My people, can you see my life? My pastor have been trying to broker peace between us before I left for Abuja to no avail, what I intended to do is to settle down here and get her relocated so that if she's a bit far from her family, things will work out. I'll instruct a lawyer to file divorce papers tomorrow, I can no longer take it.

One mind is telling me to sit here and wait for the hypocrites who would have come to tell a wife to tolerate her in laws if the tables were turned accused her of being not accommodating to in laws.

Let me leave my pettiness aside and advise the poster to ignore the wife and her silly family. Stop meeting their demands, face your kids if you have any, save for the future, invest in a project.

When your wife is tired she will give her self brain. The kind of stupid mentality Nigerian women have about husbands, you marry a man and make it his responsibility to pull you and your family out of poverty.


People should discuss these things before marriage please

For you to transfer to Abuja becasue of the wahala of your wife and her people shows there is fire on the mountain.
I'm not sure such a thing will not continue even if you bring your family to Abuja.
My advice for you is to stand your ground and let them know enough is enough like you did when the brother came unannounced.
You shouldnt have even put off your phone, but rather told them to their faces not to disturb you with phone calls as your mind is made up not to entertain anybody.
Divorce should be an option only when you really mean it, not because you want to threaten anybody but rather if there's no hope for the union again

That’s so wild and unacceptable

At this point, you have to give her an ultimatum. She either chooses the marriage and have them reduce their interference or keeps them all in your business and wave bye to the marriage.

Sounds like it has come to that.

Edited: I wish I’d read OP’s previous threads before commenting on this. While his in-laws are indeed overstepping and need to be curtailed , I see that he’s a womanizer hence there may be a reason why they are all over him like that. I won’t even tell you to give you wife ultimatum anymore. She should be the one handing ultimatums to you. You’re not a serious person. Complaining about in-laws when you’re letting strange women come close to you. Nonsense

This is serious, your wife is not a serious person, .
I hate it when adults pecks on others like pest.

The fact that someone can travel from Lagos to Abuja without informing you shows how much trouble you are in. I support you o, file for divorce immediately or else your life will become miserable.

Will I still marry?.

Ok

Divorce should not be your next line of action,call your wife to order. She has to choose between building a new family with you or sticking to her biological parents. For your in-law make provision for him to leave over the weekend with a standing order that visitors/family can be welcomed on invitation.

OP, if you don't divorce that stupid wife of yours na Ogun go kill you

Some would come and say, divorce isn't the option here.

When push turns to shove,you better throw in the towel, so they can have their daughter all to themselves,and you can have your sanity back.

Mr man, you are the one troubling and driving yourself crazy for not being able to know where your problem is coming from.

First; Your wife didn't do anything to warrant a divorce, she didn't cheat, disrespect or commit any abomination. We should sometime view things from different angles before taking actions, you know how difficult it is for a woman to stop her family members from coming close to her husband, she MIGHT not be happy with what they are doing, but in a bid to stop them will have it look like she's pushing them away from you and might create problems. So I ask "HAVE YOU DISCUSSED THIS ISSUE WITH YOUR WIFE?"

The rate of entitlement mentality from wives and their families is something else in Nigeria. Reason why we should be wise and careful before getting married.

Stop running around, discuss this issue with your wife, if she's a good woman, she'll understand you and do whatever it'll take to keep you happy and relaxed by sketching a strategy with you, but if she tries to give attitude about your complaint, then you'll have to go rude and aggressive to let her know what is as stake(Divorce, for her to marry her family members so that you'll have peace).


Discuss with her first.

Poster you sef
You are married but keep meeting different women who are also demanding money from you, maybe that is why your wife feels she may need to finish all your money so you don't spend it on these women outside


Why is everybody trying to get money from you? Do you show off? You were even judging one of the women for drinking 3 beers meanwhile you are a married man chatting with women on social media

You are being too mean Mr man..

Eketem:
Poster you sef
You are married but keep meeting different women who are also demanding money from you, maybe that is why your wife feels she may need to finish all your money so you don't spend it on these women outside


Why is everybody trying to get money from you? Do you show off? You were even judging one of the women for drinking 3 beers meanwhile you are a married man chatting with women on social media

he's dasuki's friend

joa2013:
My wife and her family members are driving me crazy. Their involvement in my home is becoming embarrassing. I may have to give my wife the red card asap. Her family poke noses into all my affairs. How I spent my money, who I give my money to, who I visit, and so on. All they want is to continue to expend money on them and live my life for them. I got their daughter a job, her salary isn't enough for them, how can I be taking care of able bodied men who have refused to work with their certificates, looking for jobs with good pays before they'll work, their pensioner father is not also helping matters, very difficult to please. I have made it known to my wife that our marriage contract did not include pleasing her family members but she won't listen then I worked my transfer from Lagos to Abuja, yet they're on my neck. My wife's younger brother is presently in Abuja without any clear cut mission other than to come and monitor my affairs. He called me around 7pm yesterday to tell me he's in Utako and that I should come and pick him from pack, I told him I didn't invite him to Abuja so why should I pick him up? I asked him if he didn't have a mission before coming and why he should get to Abuja before notifying me that he's coming to my place. I shunned him and switched off my phone. I switched on the phone now only to read 3 abusive text messages from my wife and one from her father threatening that if anything happens to his son, I'll be held responsible. My people, can you see my life? My pastor have been trying to broker peace between us before I left for Abuja to no avail, what I intended to do is to settle down here and get her relocated so that if she's a bit far from her family, things will work out. I'll instruct a lawyer to file divorce papers tomorrow, I can no longer take it.

You can choose to ignore her,do any other thing but not divorce. And never you switch off your phone to avoid calls from family, it's childish. Be an alpha male! Make a decree and stand on it! You're a lion and not a chicken!

Just be a man and know when to put your foot down

You the man bro. YOur no should be no.

You should come and pick him ?


Are you Taxify or Uber ?


Au did you get here ? You are such a weakling.

Any In Law will reject my offer to come and pick them out of fear not to talk of calling me . Common man .


Be a man and draw the line. If she decide to cross it then she can now go out from there.

She abused you ? You need to man up brother.

Why are u running?


It will be a law that NO VISITOR in your house.

They will wreck you if you are not careful.

And there is a standing law that I cnt meet anybody I am not aware of their coming in my house as same day visitor how much more coming to stay for days.

Lmao

h

@op,it hasn't gotten to divorce na

Bros, is as simple as that.... Before high BP go catch you

That's what women and their family liability specialise in - driving men crazy.

The part of marriage in Nigeria I hate the most is the family liability abandonment (in business terms) that you as a man (investor) will be forced to inherit when you get married, as if you're acquiring a bankrupt company and must take on its liabilities. And they almost always never come with assets, only liabilities upon liabilities. It's unacceptable to me, and I have zero tolerance for that nonsense.

If I'm marrying you, I'm not having none of your family Bullshyt. They're not even allowed to come stay in my house for any length of time, except the mother is on 'omugwo' duties.

Useless people. Tomorrow they would still forget all the good you did for them and treat your children like trash if, God forbids, you've fallen on hard times or worse, you're no longer alive. I've seen these things with my korokoro eyes. It's better to buy fuel, pour it on your money and burn it up rather than spend it on these useless so-called in-laws.

OP thumbs up for leaving that fool stranded at the park. That's exactly what I'd have done, but unlike you, I wouldn't even switch my phone off. And God knows I would have insulted her father for daring to send me such stupid messages.

Bottom line, Read the riot act to that woman and stand your GROUND. It's either on your own terms or nothing. No mediation, no negotiation, and no conciliation. Simply set down your new rules like a tyrant and enforce them immediately. Failure to comply with the new order, then you must kick her out immediately. I don't like the word divorce because it even makes these yeye women feel important. Aiint gat time for that formal poo. Give her and her yeye family an ultimatum and kick her out if she refuses to have sense.

Ok

WOW!

You didn't say what has been your wife's stance over her family's meddling in your marriage.

Bro, you do not need an Oracle to tell you that you are in an unhealthy marriage. I don't know if you're really serious about ending the union, but no man can withstand such a horrible marital situation.

Your wife and her family have absolutely no respect for you. You're nothing but a meal ticket to them.

As for me, I would call it quits if I ever find myself in such an arrangement.
Disgusting!

Rushmore:

You can choose to ignore her,do any other thing but not divorce. And never you switch off your phone to avoid calls from family, it's childish. Be an alpha male! Make a decree and stand on it! You're a lion and not a chicken!

what is this one saying...

hm

joa2013:
My wife and her family members are driving me crazy. Their involvement in my home is becoming embarrassing. I may have to give my wife the red card asap. Her family poke noses into all my affairs. How I spent my money, who I give my money to, who I visit, and so on. All they want is to continue to expend money on them and live my life for them. I got their daughter a job, her salary isn't enough for them, how can I be taking care of able bodied men who have refused to work with their certificates, looking for jobs with good pays before they'll work, their pensioner father is not also helping matters, very difficult to please. I have made it known to my wife that our marriage contract did not include pleasing her family members but she won't listen then I worked my transfer from Lagos to Abuja, yet they're on my neck. My wife's younger brother is presently in Abuja without any clear cut mission other than to come and monitor my affairs. He called me around 7pm yesterday to tell me he's in Utako and that I should come and pick him from pack, I told him I didn't invite him to Abuja so why should I pick him up? I asked him if he didn't have a mission before coming and why he should get to Abuja before notifying me that he's coming to my place. I shunned him and switched off my phone. I switched on the phone now only to read 3 abusive text messages from my wife and one from her father threatening that if anything happens to his son, I'll be held responsible. My people, can you see my life? My pastor have been trying to broker peace between us before I left for Abuja to no avail, what I intended to do is to settle down here and get her relocated so that if she's a bit far from her family, things will work out. I'll instruct a lawyer to file divorce papers tomorrow, I can no longer take it.

Let divorce be your best friend.










It is advisible for one to marry an orphan...