LUGBE:
You are a gold digger. You are now disappointed, many men this days are shameless

whaz this poo sayin... is it u cant wad or what?.. u just have head no brains.. such a stupidity

Tehila07:
I had thought that love has bigger roles to play in marriage. I was wrong. I got married at 36 when I thought I had seen someone who loved me.

While dating, I was not spending money on her because she has a job and was not complaining. I ride okada for a living, hoping to go into a business soon. Before marriage, I used to have spare cash of about 10k always. Even if that 10k is spent on something, I would recover it within a week. She told me that if money she spends on feeding and what I spend on feeding are added together, we will feed ourselves, and save more. But since we got married, I labour hard to ensure she has whatever she needs. Now I'm stretched to the limit and can't cope anymore. She has money in her bank account, but said she's saving for raining days. Anytime she wants to perform online banking, I do it for her. Two days ago, I wanted to buy data, I transferred money from her account to the seller, brought out the money and told her seller accepts bank transfer and I don't want to go and queue in the bank for lodgement. I would have informed her first, but she was busy attending to visitors and her phone was with me. She was angry and said "I will change my password." I replied that the only favor she did me was saving my journey to the bank. She said if she has cash in hand, she would be tempted to spend it. So, it's me that should not have savings?

I don't feel like having sex again, because of the depression and she is now angry that I'm turning her down. Now I'm planning to leave home and return whenever my situation improves. She can cope because she has enough money.

Why the financial pressure on me is too much is that we are both 36 years old and friends keep trouping to our house to wish her well. As a man that manages resources, I entertained guests from my family once for the past two months we got married because it's not my town but hers. She keeps asking me for money to entertain guests. Some friends made it a habit of visiting twice weekly, while she keeps showing me off. When she asked for money for food yesterday and I told her I had no money, she has been moody since then, thinking that I'm hiding money from her.

This was a woman, that, last week, when I said I couldn't afford a particular asoebi that only concerns me because it's costly, went to the market, bought it, and took it to my tailor. Judging from her recent actions, I won't wear that cloth except I'm able to refund the money.

P.S: Love is just a rhetoric - humanity died long ago.

I had similar experience when i newly married and cried out to God to bless me such that i will not ask for anything from my wife. You can't separate women from money .what assurance do you have that if you divorce her that you will get a woman with better character . Marriage is black market and nothing you can do about it. Forgive her and move one because your happiness matter. Always remember that if you die today she will leave her life,infact if she is your next of kin,you know the rest.

Treasuredlove:
amen. Thank you. You ve said it well

I love this comment. I thanked the person you quoted, too.

Eketem:



What is wrong with marrying a partner so one can share bills?

Not every man wants a wife that will take and take, some want working wives so they won't die from high blood pressure in this economy, share goals aspirations and grow together.

His only error was not discussing with her before marriage

u rite d problem wit marriage in Nigeria is DT it over hyped. Marriage is jux like going 2 uni nd told so many propangada nd den wen finish u realise dt degree no get power nd DT na hard wrk moni dey nd u b like hw wish i knw i 4 plan well.in our society we think DT a man go sabi marriage wen such man train himself 2wards it but d truth is not d case.d ideology of go sch no talk 2 girls o finish sch go get job marry na nonsense nd dey affect sum of our guys.because as a guy eh na 4rm secondary u dey train ursef 2 b a man.as u make female friends dey ask questns 2 knw learn nd wise up even me na my elder bro educate about ladies involve marriage because of he exposure he get 4rm teenage about ladies.

yettymuse:
OK, whilst you were dating her you weren't spending on her because............ She's miss independent huh Men like you make independent women carry calculator about... You married a woman because you want to be sharing bills? Really??

Ovoko!!!!!!!!!

Nothing wey person no go hear for this nairaland. You're depressed because you're performing your marital duties, top of which is taking the financial responsibilities of your home?
You've not even started, no kids yet and you're whining like this?

You married her because of her money.. You never chi chom chin!

Are you kidding me?
I weak abeg!...

You Are a F.O.O.L For Saying Trash

LUGBE:
You are a gold digger. You are now disappointed, many men this days are shameless

Like ur father

eeewise:


I pity who ever will marry this person
Marriage is supposed to be about filling up
When u love someone u can't afford to see them struggle financially
Its simple she does not love her husband
Where a mans treasure is his heart will be also
Everyone invests in d direction of their love.
A marriage where couples are not financially open and compatible is bound to fail already. Finance is d number one cos of marital failure
Solution: you married a bad one. She won't change. You try to adjust. Be a bit strict with money also but sorry this union is bound to be doomed

na small pikin dey worry DT lady.e Neva c any thin.try such 4 marriage d man go endure 4 a while but wen e done reach am 4 neck e family go hear d issue.d true is there no mature single lady anymore.DT y i don't fancy marriage.DT y b4 u propose 2 a lady check nd recheck her mata wit ur pastors.ladies pretend a lot esp d graduate ones

yettymuse:
OK, whilst you were dating her you weren't spending on her because............ She's miss independent huh Men like you make independent women carry calculator about... You married a woman because you want to be sharing bills? Really??

Ovoko!!!!!!!!!

Nothing wey person no go hear for this nairaland. You're depressed because you're performing your marital duties, top of which is taking the financial responsibilities of your home?
You've not even started, no kids yet and you're whining like this?

You married her because of her money.. You never chi chom chin!

Are you kidding me?
I weak abeg!...

Where is it stated that a man must carry the financial responsibilities of a home

HRHQueenPhil:
u married ur age mate? all the best sir

what is wrong about that?

My dear you have no issues at all. It seems your marriage is new and you still dey learning stage. So many married men wish this your problem is all they have to contend with but unfortunately every one has bigger and more complex issue. Relax at home and be a good husband.

generationz:

is this crescentmoon

I'm trying to see how op sounds like me, but I can't.

HRHQueenPhil:
u married ur age mate? all the best sir

His predicament has nothing to do with marrying his age mate

It's in the nature of women to keep their money and rather demand from us. As husbands and head of the family, it's our sole responsibility to work hard and provide for the family not the duty of the wife unless she decides to support. There's nothing to regret about but rather cut off extra unnecessary expenses, keep your home under God's total control and double your hustle. May God bless your marriage.

Tehila07:
I had thought that love has bigger roles to play in marriage. I was wrong. I got married at 36 when I thought I had seen someone who loved me.

While dating, I was not spending money on her because she has a job and was not complaining. I ride okada for a living, hoping to go into a business soon. Before marriage, I used to have spare cash of about 10k always. Even if that 10k is spent on something, I would recover it within a week. She told me that if money she spends on feeding and what I spend on feeding are added together, we will feed ourselves, and save more. But since we got married, I labour hard to ensure she has whatever she needs. Now I'm stretched to the limit and can't cope anymore. She has money in her bank account, but said she's saving for raining days. Anytime she wants to perform online banking, I do it for her. Two days ago, I wanted to buy data, I transferred money from her account to the seller, brought out the money and told her seller accepts bank transfer and I don't want to go and queue in the bank for lodgement. I would have informed her first, but she was busy attending to visitors and her phone was with me. She was angry and said "I will change my password." I replied that the only favor she did me was saving my journey to the bank. She said if she has cash in hand, she would be tempted to spend it. So, it's me that should not have savings?

I don't feel like having sex again, because of the depression and she is now angry that I'm turning her down. Now I'm planning to leave home and return whenever my situation improves. She can cope because she has enough money.

Why the financial pressure on me is too much is that we are both 36 years old and friends keep trouping to our house to wish her well. As a man that manages resources, I entertained guests from my family once for the past two months we got married because it's not my town but hers. She keeps asking me for money to entertain guests. Some friends made it a habit of visiting twice weekly, while she keeps showing me off. When she asked for money for food yesterday and I told her I had no money, she has been moody since then, thinking that I'm hiding money from her.

This was a woman, that, last week, when I said I couldn't afford a particular asoebi that only concerns me because it's costly, went to the market, bought it, and took it to my tailor. Judging from her recent actions, I won't wear that cloth except I'm able to refund the money.

P.S: Love is just a rhetoric - humanity died long ago.

Be a man.
If it means quarrelling your wife, do it.
You have to be a man and control your house.

But you MUST provide food oh.

Where is it written in the constitution that it is his marital duties to pay his wife's bills ?
All this una local champions mentality.

yettymuse:
OK, whilst you were dating her you weren't spending on her because............ She's miss independent huh Men like you make independent women carry calculator about... You married a woman because you want to be sharing bills? Really??

Ovoko!!!!!!!!!

Nothing wey person no go hear for this nairaland. You're depressed because you're performing your marital duties, top of which is taking the financial responsibilities of your home?
You've not even started, no kids yet and you're whining like this?

You married her because of her money.. You never chi chom chin!

Are you kidding me?
I weak abeg!...

HRHQueenPhil:
u married ur age mate? all the best sir

..nd so??

mankettle:
sit her down and have the talk bro.
you need to discuss finances upkeep etc. monthly and weekly allowances etc. and get ready to harden your heart bro.
don't worry Bro, it is a phase, after this another phase

She was playing along all the while because she knew age wasn't on her side any longer. Now she is married she had to reveal her true colours, that's why it's not cool to marry such desperados. Besides it tells one to marry when you have more than enough to take care of the family don't mind women and their we will manage talk. They'll definitely change am for you.

Wilfredpat22:
Sir I will advice you as my own brother. Be strict sir and drop what you can afford and also cultivate the habit of saving

Any of her visitor coming, try to walk out of the house early enough to avoid being asked for money to entertain. Use your head sir

YOU ARE A MAN

chai..you nailed It. i don't know why the man is behaving like a sissy..

I like u already for that comment...can I slide into ur DM?

the same thing is happening to me too, this is my story. me and my wife we r also agemate, she is d type dt love to save alot, to d extent dt she doesn't v an atm card, she lost her job in july last yr, 3mnth after our marriage, i was workin wt isonbpo ilorin branch bfo relocating to lagos, same yr, we both jobles, i quickly got a teaching job while waiting for d big wig, by december last yr go a cinema job with one of d leading cinemas, she was stil at home spending my money, something happened last mnth and i lost d job, while she got a new job mid july, the low point nw is, things has nt being easy, coz all my money has being spent on buying things to our home being new couple, the little money nw is fo her transport and feeding, she told me to tell my bro nt to come to our house again pending when we wil pick up again, but i told her dt hw wil he feel, in short i told her to get a job, continue her fashion, she relied on my income, nw we startin over, she nag, alws indifferent, al women are d same,

adedayoa2:
You got married to her for the wrong reasons, because she works and you'll not have to spend much, oga you never ready for marriage, change your mindset, accept her as your wife, start thinking in your heart that you're working for your family and tell her to cut her coat according to her material.

Did you hear this one? In the 21st Century, ladies like this are still looking for men who will carry all their burdens


Marriage is a scam and will only continue to benefit these self-centered, manipulative beings.

Gracesofar:


I admire your write up

Good day sir! I would really like to see you. I stay near 82 division

xtervaganza:
see wetin this one de talk




Koriburuku e sohun!

awon mummy e lo n shoriburuku... Alaye baje.. When you have a woman, wait for her to feed you. Bastard son of a gun! Stupid boy!

Oga OP.
When they talk about issues faced in marriage...your case is not the worst. This is an issue of selfishness only, that doesn't mean your wife don't love you dearly. Anyone can get angry if you login with their password without informing them..
Pls see a councillor..
To tell you the truth? You yourself needs more adjustment on your own..
Try and get advice from people with more marital experience.. You ll see that your case is just mere misunderstanding..
Its like you are expecting 100% trust at this Level of your marriage..pls be patient and you ll see things turn out well.

hmm

Bros, you both might be 36, but you both are not matured for marriage.

condomuser:

Where is it written in the constitution that it is his marital duties to pay his wife's bills ?
All this una local champions mentality.

Where is it written that only a woman must go to market and cook for the family? Yet you Nigeria men will never share kitchen work or house chores but you want a maga that will give you money.

CrescentMoon:


I'm trying to see how op sounds like me, but I can't.

loooool
I know you are in your thirties and earlier this year you seemed to be having a mental breakdown about getting married this year.

kikikiki

If a woman had started this thread to complain that her husband is saving his money instead of spending on the family all the hypocrites on this thread will come out to insult her and call her lazy and gold digger and ask her why she married the man for money. Then they will praise her husband for having saving habit instead of being wasteful.
Now the tables has turned they are still blaming the wife for saving.


Op I don't pity you, forget what your fellow men on the thread are saying they will always side the males in any argument so me I have learnt to support my fellow women and toss objectivity in the dustbin.

Mr man go and find a better job to help you be a better provider, don't wait for your wife to feed you, its your duty to provide while she takes care of home and kids.

If you don't have money please don't get married �to avoid these kinds of stories

emerged01:
Op,always plan on your own resources. You are not a man enough to have allowed your woman's Money get into your head.
I remembered when my woman was putting pressure on me. Mind you,we are of the same age. my income was below hers. She knew that,and she insisted on spending the rest of her life with me. Considering her age,I decided to sit her down and told her I don't want to care about how much she is earning,that every our plan will be based on my income. One thing I realised is that woman will let you down when you need them most. That is the sole reason you must always plan on my your resources. Go after what you can afford not what you can do to please her,to ensure you don't spend above your income.

for me. this is the best advice so far.. many people were just mocking the op directly or indirectly. I can't tell the op what to do. he obviously didn't do much homework before flying into the hot soup of marriage. but I wish to expressly plead with him to shun any idea of making his wife pregnant or having children now.. if by commission or ommision, a child comes into this unresolved issue.. it won't be funny.. pls don't bring a child into this mess. thats my only concern.

Silvermoney:

How 'stable' is a stable income? What if you have a good job before marriage and then later lose the job in the next 7 to 10 years, by which time you already have three school aged kids? What would you do then, would you get divorce? Besides, in that situation, how are you better than someone who got married in the first place with no "stable income"?.. Life is too deep. Let's not over simplify it.

good question.. but what happens to a second passive stable income.

Any time u need money from her . just give her hot round of sex. The abnormal kind of intercourse . I think this can format her brain for a period just place ur demand on her immediately.