Tehila07:
I had thought that love has bigger roles to play in marriage. I was wrong. I got married at 36 when I thought I had seen someone who loved me.

While dating, I was not spending money on her because she has a job and was not complaining. I ride okada for a living, hoping to go into a business soon. Before marriage, I used to have spare cash of about 10k always. Even if that 10k is spent on something, I would recover it within a week. She told me that if money she spends on feeding and what I spend on feeding are added together, we will feed ourselves, and save more. But since we got married, I labour hard to ensure she has whatever she needs. Now I'm stretched to the limit and can't cope anymore. She has money in her bank account, but said she's saving for raining days. Anytime she wants to perform online banking, I do it for her. Two days ago, I wanted to buy data, I transferred money from her account to the seller, brought out the money and told her seller accepts bank transfer and I don't want to go and queue in the bank for lodgement. I would have informed her first, but she was busy attending to visitors and her phone was with me. She was angry and said "I will change my password." I replied that the only favor she did me was saving my journey to the bank. She said if she has cash in hand, she would be tempted to spend it. So, it's me that should not have savings?

I don't feel like having sex again, because of the depression and she is now angry that I'm turning her down. Now I'm planning to leave home and return whenever my situation improves. She can cope because she has enough money.

Why the financial pressure on me is too much is that we are both 36 years old and friends keep trouping to our house to wish her well. As a man that manages resources, I entertained guests from my family once for the past two months we got married because it's not my town but hers. She keeps asking me for money to entertain guests. Some friends made it a habit of visiting twice weekly, while she keeps showing me off. When she asked for money for food yesterday and I told her I had no money, she has been moody since then, thinking that I'm hiding money from her.

This was a woman, that, last week, when I said I couldn't afford a particular asoebi that only concerns me because it's costly, went to the market, bought it, and took it to my tailor. Judging from her recent actions, I won't wear that cloth except I'm able to refund the money.

P.S: Love is just a rhetoric - humanity died long ago.

Tehila07:
I had thought that love has bigger roles to play in marriage. I was wrong. I got married at 36 when I thought I had seen someone who loved me.

While dating, I was not spending money on her because she has a job and was not complaining. I ride okada for a living, hoping to go into a business soon. Before marriage, I used to have spare cash of about 10k always. Even if that 10k is spent on something, I would recover it within a week. She told me that if money she spends on feeding and what I spend on feeding are added together, we will feed ourselves, and save more. But since we got married, I labour hard to ensure she has whatever she needs. Now I'm stretched to the limit and can't cope anymore. She has money in her bank account, but said she's saving for raining days. Anytime she wants to perform online banking, I do it for her. Two days ago, I wanted to buy data, I transferred money from her account to the seller, brought out the money and told her seller accepts bank transfer and I don't want to go and queue in the bank for lodgement. I would have informed her first, but she was busy attending to visitors and her phone was with me. She was angry and said "I will change my password." I replied that the only favor she did me was saving my journey to the bank. She said if she has cash in hand, she would be tempted to spend it. So, it's me that should not have savings?

I don't feel like having sex again, because of the depression and she is now angry that I'm turning her down. Now I'm planning to leave home and return whenever my situation improves. She can cope because she has enough money.

Why the financial pressure on me is too much is that we are both 36 years old and friends keep trouping to our house to wish her well. As a man that manages resources, I entertained guests from my family once for the past two months we got married because it's not my town but hers. She keeps asking me for money to entertain guests. Some friends made it a habit of visiting twice weekly, while she keeps showing me off. When she asked for money for food yesterday and I told her I had no money, she has been moody since then, thinking that I'm hiding money from her.

This was a woman, that, last week, when I said I couldn't afford a particular asoebi that only concerns me because it's costly, went to the market, bought it, and took it to my tailor. Judging from her recent actions, I won't wear that cloth except I'm able to refund the money.

P.S: Love is just a rhetoric - humanity died long ago.

Tehila07:
I had thought that love has bigger roles to play in marriage. I was wrong. I got married at 36 when I thought I had seen someone who loved me.

While dating, I was not spending money on her because she has a job and was not complaining. I ride okada for a living, hoping to go into a business soon. Before marriage, I used to have spare cash of about 10k always. Even if that 10k is spent on something, I would recover it within a week. She told me that if money she spends on feeding and what I spend on feeding are added together, we will feed ourselves, and save more. But since we got married, I labour hard to ensure she has whatever she needs. Now I'm stretched to the limit and can't cope anymore. She has money in her bank account, but said she's saving for raining days. Anytime she wants to perform online banking, I do it for her. Two days ago, I wanted to buy data, I transferred money from her account to the seller, brought out the money and told her seller accepts bank transfer and I don't want to go and queue in the bank for lodgement. I would have informed her first, but she was busy attending to visitors and her phone was with me. She was angry and said "I will change my password." I replied that the only favor she did me was saving my journey to the bank. She said if she has cash in hand, she would be tempted to spend it. So, it's me that should not have savings?

I don't feel like having sex again, because of the depression and she is now angry that I'm turning her down. Now I'm planning to leave home and return whenever my situation improves. She can cope because she has enough money.

Why the financial pressure on me is too much is that we are both 36 years old and friends keep trouping to our house to wish her well. As a man that manages resources, I entertained guests from my family once for the past two months we got married because it's not my town but hers. She keeps asking me for money to entertain guests. Some friends made it a habit of visiting twice weekly, while she keeps showing me off. When she asked for money for food yesterday and I told her I had no money, she has been moody since then, thinking that I'm hiding money from her.

This was a woman, that, last week, when I said I couldn't afford a particular asoebi that only concerns me because it's costly, went to the market, bought it, and took it to my tailor. Judging from her recent actions, I won't wear that cloth except I'm able to refund the money.

P.S: Love is just a rhetoric - humanity died long ago.

flyca:
OP did you say you ride Okada for a living? Are you are graduate? I am very impressed with your writing prowess. Good punctions, correct use of tenses, almost zero grammatical errors. Wow.

Let me guess that you are from Southern Nigeria? Maybe South East? Look, a man that cannot write half as good as you do is the president of one nation lai dat. They say it's "quota system". Then he gets in and puts in all his brothers and sisters who hardly can spell their name correctly into juicy federal positions by appointment. And yet - here is one of us, struggling with 10K, 5K despite his educational background and strong resolve to earn a decent living. Pathetic!

Call me a tribalist na you sabi. My views about Nigeria has changed in the past few years. Sorry Nation.

Tehila07:
I had thought that love has bigger roles to play in marriage. I was wrong. I got married at 36 when I thought I had seen someone who loved me.

While dating, I was not spending money on her because she has a job and was not complaining. I ride okada for a living, hoping to go into a business soon. Before marriage, I used to have spare cash of about 10k always. Even if that 10k is spent on something, I would recover it within a week. She told me that if money she spends on feeding and what I spend on feeding are added together, we will feed ourselves, and save more. But since we got married, I labour hard to ensure she has whatever she needs. Now I'm stretched to the limit and can't cope anymore. She has money in her bank account, but said she's saving for raining days. Anytime she wants to perform online banking, I do it for her. Two days ago, I wanted to buy data, I transferred money from her account to the seller, brought out the money and told her seller accepts bank transfer and I don't want to go and queue in the bank for lodgement. I would have informed her first, but she was busy attending to visitors and her phone was with me. She was angry and said "I will change my password." I replied that the only favor she did me was saving my journey to the bank. She said if she has cash in hand, she would be tempted to spend it. So, it's me that should not have savings?

I don't feel like having sex again, because of the depression and she is now angry that I'm turning her down. Now I'm planning to leave home and return whenever my situation improves. She can cope because she has enough money.

Why the financial pressure on me is too much is that we are both 36 years old and friends keep trouping to our house to wish her well. As a man that manages resources, I entertained guests from my family once for the past two months we got married because it's not my town but hers. She keeps asking me for money to entertain guests. Some friends made it a habit of visiting twice weekly, while she keeps showing me off. When she asked for money for food yesterday and I told her I had no money, she has been moody since then, thinking that I'm hiding money from her.

This was a woman, that, last week, when I said I couldn't afford a particular asoebi that only concerns me because it's costly, went to the market, bought it, and took it to my tailor. Judging from her recent actions, I won't wear that cloth except I'm able to refund the money.

P.S: Love is just a rhetoric - humanity died long ago.

adedayoa2:
is that an issue?

Toks2008:


There is no issue here except the fact that you are still hustling and I pray GOD blesses you more.

adedayoa2:
the fact remains he got married to the lady because she's working, guys like am plenty for Abuja here, whenever they ask me 'are you working', I tell them I'm a student and I stay with my aunt and that's the end o, they start avoiding you.

divinelove:
understanding is even more important than love in marriage. But it's how can you marry without a stable source of income

emerged01:
Op,always plan on your own resources. You are not a man enough to have allowed your woman's Money get into your head.
I remembered when my woman was putting pressure on me. Mind you,we are of the same age. my income was below hers. She knew that,and she insisted on spending the rest of her life with me. Considering her age,I decided to sit her down and told her I don't want to care about how much she is earning,that every our plan will be based on my income. One thing I realised is that woman will let you down when you need them most. That is the sole reason you must always plan on my your resources. Go after what you can afford not what you can do to please her,to ensure you don't spend above your income.

HRHQueenPhil:
u married ur age mate? all the best sir

yettymuse:
OK, whilst you were dating her you weren't spending on her because............ She's miss independent huh Men like you make independent women carry calculator about... You married a woman because you want to be sharing bills? Really??

Ovoko!!!!!!!!!

Nothing wey person no go hear for this nairaland. You're depressed because you're performing your marital duties, top of which is taking the financial responsibilities of your home?
You've not even started, no kids yet and you're whining like this?

You married her because of her money.. You never chi chom chin!

Are you kidding me?
I weak abeg!...

HRHQueenPhil:
u married ur age mate? all the best sir

qtx:
Go here for http://courtshipandmarriage.com[url][/url] and all your tears will be wiped off.

LUGBE:
You are a gold digger. You are now disappointed, many men this days are shameless

mankettle:
sit her down and have the talk bro.
you need to discuss finances upkeep etc. monthly and weekly allowances etc. and get ready to harden your heart bro.
don't worry Bro, it is a phase, after this another phase

otokx:
Was getting tired of the avalanche of political threads

They say the first 2 years of marriage are usually the most difficult so hang in there, just as much as possible try to communicate with your wife and find common ground.

eniolorunfe:
Why are you discussing with strangers what you should be sharing with your wife? Issues like this create opportunities for couples to know and understand themselves better.

From your write-up, your union is less than a year meaning that it's still young. Sit your new wife down and discuss with her all these you typed on NL and reach a compromise that will work for both of you. Marriage is a marathon!!!

There is no way your wife will know what you're not okay with in your union if you don't let her know.

Rather than shy away from things, learn to face them squarely!

adedayoa2:
You got married to her for the wrong reasons, because she works and you'll not have to spend much, oga you never ready for marriage, change your mindset, accept her as your wife, start thinking in your heart that you're working for your family and tell her to cut her coat according to her material.

Tokziby:
Op firstly it was a grave mistake to think ur spouse money is for the two of u. If u didn't know before, now u must know, once u are married, if ur wife has N5million with her and u have N5,000, please never ever assume that the total money in that household is N5million plus N5,000. The total money is that which belongs to u N5,000.
The believe of the majority of typical African women is that their own money is for them alone while ur own money is for the two of u cos it's believed that the financial responsibility of the household rest on the man and theirs is just to support when they feel the need.
So Mr Op up ur game, the person u date is completely different when u marry such person. Marriage is a black market institution, u will never know what u are getting urself into until u sign ur life away for better for worse...

adedayoa2:
You got married to her for the wrong reasons, because she works and you'll not have to spend much, oga you never ready for marriage, change your mindset, accept her as your wife, start thinking in your heart that you're working for your family and tell her to cut her coat according to her material.

adedayoa2:
You got married to her for the wrong reasons, because she works and you'll not have to spend much, oga you never ready for marriage, change your mindset, accept her as your wife, start thinking in your heart that you're working for your family and tell her to cut her coat according to her material.

Tehila07:
I had thought that love has bigger roles to play in marriage. I was wrong. I got married at 36 when I thought I had seen someone who loved me.

While dating, I was not spending money on her because she has a job and was not complaining. I ride okada for a living, hoping to go into a business soon. Before marriage, I used to have spare cash of about 10k always. Even if that 10k is spent on something, I would recover it within a week. She told me that if money she spends on feeding and what I spend on feeding are added together, we will feed ourselves, and save more. But since we got married, I labour hard to ensure she has whatever she needs. Now I'm stretched to the limit and can't cope anymore. She has money in her bank account, but said she's saving for raining days. Anytime she wants to perform online banking, I do it for her. Two days ago, I wanted to buy data, I transferred money from her account to the seller, brought out the money and told her seller accepts bank transfer and I don't want to go and queue in the bank for lodgement. I would have informed her first, but she was busy attending to visitors and her phone was with me. She was angry and said "I will change my password." I replied that the only favor she did me was saving my journey to the bank. She said if she has cash in hand, she would be tempted to spend it. So, it's me that should not have savings?

I don't feel like having sex again, because of the depression and she is now angry that I'm turning her down. Now I'm planning to leave home and return whenever my situation improves. She can cope because she has enough money.

Why the financial pressure on me is too much is that we are both 36 years old and friends keep trouping to our house to wish her well. As a man that manages resources, I entertained guests from my family once for the past two months we got married because it's not my town but hers. She keeps asking me for money to entertain guests. Some friends made it a habit of visiting twice weekly, while she keeps showing me off. When she asked for money for food yesterday and I told her I had no money, she has been moody since then, thinking that I'm hiding money from her.

This was a woman, that, last week, when I said I couldn't afford a particular asoebi that only concerns me because it's costly, went to the market, bought it, and took it to my tailor. Judging from her recent actions, I won't wear that cloth except I'm able to refund the money.

P.S: Love is just a rhetoric - humanity died long ago.

Toks2008:


There is no issue here except the fact that you are still hustling and I pray GOD blesses you more.