Acidosis:




I thought as much. You see, this is the exact way faceless people come here to destroy people's happy homes. He's been here gallivanting about how he cooks for an imaginary wife, lol.

The lady wants him to marry her but his mum kicked against the decision that's why he's currently having some problems with his family members because of the lady they told him to leave her alone she's too old for him but he won't listen...... Ask him he knows what I'm talking about.....This is his alternate moniker he's real moniker is something princhills something like that

Babyforever:
The lady wants him to marry her but his mum kicked against the decision that's why he's currently having some problems with his family members because of the lady they told him to leave her alone she's too old for him but he won't listen...... Ask him he knows what I'm talking about.....This is his alternate moniker he's real moniker is something princhills something like that

He's never going to leave that kain woman na, lol. I knew something was up the moment he started defending beta male. A lot of guys have been trapped in that kind of relationship, I guess it's up to him to enjoy the relationship while it lasts.

Btw, you seem to know too much about the young man o I hope what I'm thinking isn't true. Anyway, I wish him the best, I believe he's well prepared for the consequences.

Just Marry A white girl and forget all these Black Related Shenanigans. Thank me later

HajimeSaito:
This one na proper one chance. So she hid all these negative attributes and waited until after she had hooked the poor guy before showing her true colors? Some women can be cruel.

seconded

ajayiopy:


I had similar experience when i newly married and cried out to God to bless me such that i will not ask for anything from my wife. You can't separate women from money .what assurance do you have that if you divorce her that you will get a woman with better character . Marriage is black market and nothing you can do about it. Forgive her and move one because your happiness matter.

Always remember that if you die today she will leave her life, infact if she is your next of kin,you know the rest.

Contradiction. This issue is not about forgiveness, it is about the wife not helping in the home financially.

LUGBE:
You are a gold digger. You are now disappointed, many men this days are shameless

What is the gold digging here emmmm, d guy is trying his best to provide for his family and ur here calling him a gold digger or is it a crime for a wife to help her husband where he is lacking??

u did a mistake by marrying ur age mate, there will b no respect. occasionally leave d home for her to look for u, when she does and tries to inquire ur reason of leaving, u tell her how u could live with her. if she refuse stay back don't go until she accepts ur conditions. But treat her with care!!!

nahzyla:
If a woman had started this thread to complain that her husband is saving his money instead of spending on the family all the hypocrites on this thread will come out to insult her and call her lazy and gold digger and ask her why she married the man for money. Then they will praise her husband for having saving habit instead of being wasteful.
Now the tables has turned they are still blaming the wife for saving.


Op I don't pity you, forget what your fellow men on the thread are saying they will always side the males in any argument so me I have learnt to support my fellow women and toss objectivity in the dustbin.

Mr man go and find a better job to help you be a better provider, don't wait for your wife to feed you, its your duty to provide while she takes care of home and kids.

I don't think that you're being fair to nairaland men, it is not that bad.

Ogbeni farabale, you know what you need to do.

Do it.

tiwasiaife:
Ur wife is wicked. I nearly fell into this type of trap bt God saved me. In marriage u shld be observant in ladies who are stubborn,stingy and has no fear of God any lady with these attributes are no go area esp. When shes abv 30. Guy leave hwse 4 her b4 u die of stress n depression.

Likewise women hope you are listening, if a man is stubborn, stingy and has no fear of God don't marry him. Men like that are a no go area.

I think u made the right decision getting married. Please don't quit. Just seek the help of a marriage counselor 07035452701

yettymuse:
OK, whilst you were dating her you weren't spending on her because............ She's miss independent huh Men like you make independent women carry calculator about... You married a woman because you want to be sharing bills? Really??

Ovoko!!!!!!!!!

Nothing wey person no go hear for this nairaland. You're depressed because you're performing your marital duties, top of which is taking the financial responsibilities of your home?
You've not even started, no kids yet and you're whining like this?

You married her because of her money.. You never chi chom chin!

Are you kidding me?
I weak abeg!...

Girl you are a kid

Babyforever:
Oga don't bother yourself with that young man he's currently squatting in the house of his sugar mummy's an old cargo in delta state she's the daughter of a ppa to the governor of delta State..... he's currently jobless as I'm speaking to you right now she gives him pocket money monthly I'm not making this up ask him he knows what I'm talking about......





Elder001

. Are you kidding me

Na financial woman be that ohh....

Acidosis:




You see, this is the exact way faceless people come here to destroy families. He's been here gallivanting from thread to thread about how he cooks for an imaginary wife.

Thanks dear, I refuse to be confused, lol.

Don't mind him. I was shocked when he said he cooks for his invisible wife everyday.

Wife who doesn't exist. Such a pathological liar!

ikukuhero:


This man is just selfish and not husband material at all. Why put your eyes in your wife's money? You want ur wife to take up responsibilities just because you're aware of her financial status? Watch as your marriage will soon crumble because of you. Or, you think u did ur wife a favour marrying her because she is 36? I sense you're not a good man that is willing to take responsibility. Marriage is not boyfriend / girlfriend. Get ur ass out and take responsibility. Refine your attitude. When kids come in, you'll also expect her to take care of the bills. I am sorry man,ur type can never make a good husband.

Not every man or husband has financial muscles to do it alone whether you like it or not, that's a fact. In this kind of situation, husband and wife need to contribute and make their relationship work.
Even couples who have white collar jobs are contributing financially to keep the family running, not to talk of a man who is just an Okada rider.

Acidosis:


He's never going to leave that kain woman na, lol. I knew something was up the moment he started defending beta male. A lot of guys have been trapped in that kind of relationship, I guess it's up to him to enjoy the relationship while it lasts.

Btw, you seem to know too much about the young man o I hope what I'm thinking isn't true. Anyway, I wish him the best, I believe he's well prepared for the consequences.

He knows what I'm talking about he even create a thread then to discuss the issue here on this forum

Tehila07:
I had thought that love has bigger roles to play in marriage. I was wrong. I got married at 36 when I thought I had seen someone who loved me.

While dating, I was not spending money on her because she has a job and was not complaining. I ride okada for a living, hoping to go into a business soon. Before marriage, I used to have spare cash of about 10k always. Even if that 10k is spent on something, I would recover it within a week. She told me that if money she spends on feeding and what I spend on feeding are added together, we will feed ourselves, and save more. But since we got married, I labour hard to ensure she has whatever she needs. Now I'm stretched to the limit and can't cope anymore. She has money in her bank account, but said she's saving for raining days. Anytime she wants to perform online banking, I do it for her. Two days ago, I wanted to buy data, I transferred money from her account to the seller, brought out the money and told her seller accepts bank transfer and I don't want to go and queue in the bank for lodgement. I would have informed her first, but she was busy attending to visitors and her phone was with me. She was angry and said "I will change my password." I replied that the only favor she did me was saving my journey to the bank. She said if she has cash in hand, she would be tempted to spend it. So, it's me that should not have savings?

I don't feel like having sex again, because of the depression and she is now angry that I'm turning her down. Now I'm planning to leave home and return whenever my situation improves. She can cope because she has enough money.

Why the financial pressure on me is too much is that we are both 36 years old and friends keep trouping to our house to wish her well. As a man that manages resources, I entertained guests from my family once for the past two months we got married because it's not my town but hers. She keeps asking me for money to entertain guests. Some friends made it a habit of visiting twice weekly, while she keeps showing me off. When she asked for money for food yesterday and I told her I had no money, she has been moody since then, thinking that I'm hiding money from her.

This was a woman, that, last week, when I said I couldn't afford a particular asoebi that only concerns me because it's costly, went to the market, bought it, and took it to my tailor. Judging from her recent actions, I won't wear that cloth except I'm able to refund the money.

P.S: Love is just a rhetoric - humanity died long ago.

your case is not that bad. its manageable. why?
(1) she is not the type that will go and share wedding card and sleep with the invitee
(2) she is not pinging at midnights with guys
(3) not outing always and not telling u were she is going to
(4) no bestie.
(5) she shows u off (though its not a criteria tho that she loves you)

HajimeSaito:
This one na proper one chance. So she hid all these negative attributes and waited until after she had hooked the poor guy before showing her true colors? Some women can be cruel.

Seems you didn't get the poster right .
When they were dating he wasn't spending on her because she had money that's very bad, I tell you speaking as a woman it will take the grace of God for her to believe in unity of purpose and finances with him in marriage. That's an error on his part.
He was too stingy.
They started on the platform of it's me and my money therefore nothing changes after marriage so he has to keep assuring and reassuring and prove it before he can convince her otherwise.

Peace.

did i say anything, i simply wished him all d best.

Opinionated:


What if she were older? Your post seems immature.

divinelove:


This does not justify getting married without a stable source income. if you have sense u will know that the minimum a man should have is three sources of income plus a working wife, that way your future and that of your family is secured.

only a stupid man has one source of income, life starts the day a man is not dependent on a source of income

"If I have sense'? Smh.

Don't worry, time would come for you to prove that you have lots of sense.

NNAMDIII:
Good day sir! I would really like to see you. I stay near 82 division

DM me. Though am in jaji till sept. And did u make list this year?

Tehila07:


I love this comment. I thanked the person you quoted, too.

thank you. Please note that a lot of people here are still kids...some still seeking admission, others have never experienced marriage, many have been in only bad relationships...please ignore most of the negative comments here. I guarantee you guys will balance up your negatives and positives in due time. Nobody is perfect, marriage takes real work, its not for the weak minded. God bless you and your home

Eketem:
You should have discussed finance before marriage in black and white. Who does what? Who pays for which bill?

It is wicked for her to spend all your money while " saving " her own shebi you cannot save?


It is sad that women will want modern men who can cook and clean but when it comes to money matter they remember that a man is the head of the home.

Renegotiate your terms, do a household budget everything light water, food rent etc should be included then agree on who will do what based on income earned not based on who is a man and a woman

If OP attempts to renegotiate, she will break down the marriage irretrievably, because she will prefer going it alone (now the world knows that she is married) than sharing her money with a man. OP has been scammed. There is nothing the OP can do now except follow through on his own advise to himself - move out until his finances improve. Too bad, but that is how it goes. It's unfortunate.

adedayoa2:
a woman having a job shouldn't be the number 1 on your list, maybe you should read my other quotes on this thread.

It may not be number 1 but it is high priority.
Gone are the days when it was said that "The man is the breadwinner of the family"...Last time I checked, bread is sweeter with butter. So the man brings the bread while the woman should complement with the butter.

We don't want lazy bottoms who do nothing all day but sit at home watching zee world and getting pregnant only! Get the picture?

baddosky1:


It may not be number 1 but it is high priority.
Gone are the days when it was said that "The man is the breadwinner of the family"...Last time I checked, bread is sweeter with butter. So the man brings the bread while the woman should complement with the butter.

We don't want lazy bottoms who do nothing all day but sit at home watching zee world and getting pregnant only! Get the picture?

gone is conscience too my man.
Bread is sweeter with good health. So the man brings the bread and the woman prepares the eggs....u get?

Lool...doing nothing all day getting pregnant and watching zee world. You need to carry a baby in your belly for just one day to know carrying a baby and delivery in itself is a full-time times two job.

I shouldn't be pointing this out anyway, those who know, know

Treasuredlove:
gone is conscience too my man.
Bread is sweeter with good health. So the man brings the bread and the woman prepares the eggs....u get?

Lool...doing nothing all day getting pregnant and watching zee world. You need to carry a baby in your belly for just one day to know carrying a baby and delivery in itself is a full-time times two job.

I shouldn't be pointing this out anyway, those who know, know

Can we just stop making pregnancy overrated! The other day, a video of a woman in her third trimester dancing away in a club as if she was carrying nothing hit front-page.

If pregnancy was as tedious as it sounds, we wouldn't have a situation where women will get pregnant the second, third, fourth and in some cases tenth time.

I am not trying to underplay pregnancy but you women should stop all these "If only men can get pregnant, they'll see how stressful it is" garbage. The fact men carry 2 "eggs" under their legs for life and have to shave off hair every 2 days from their face and hustle hard to take care of the needs of women and children is enough stress already!

nahzyla:


The Op is a Nigerian man that lives on Nigeria so I am giving him advice accordingly. Supposing he lives abroad I will tell him what pertains to foreign countries.

Gbam! On point.

and all the best 2 d bravest spouse in d world

bossrillboss:
..nd so??

are u married

Ugosample:


His predicament has nothing to do with marrying his age mate

absolutely nothing sweetness

AmericanSons:
what is wrong about that?

they should be given accolades

uchman46:
shuu e bad People wey come marry who senior them nko??