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I Regret Getting Married To The Mother Of My Triplets / 5 Nigerian Women Share Why They Regret Getting Married / I'm About Losing The Man I Love And Being Pressured To Marry The One I Never Did (2) (3) (4)
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Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by Acidosis(m): 10:41am On Jul 24, 2018 |
Elder001: While I agree with some of the points raised, I don't subscribe to the last idea. Provide (as in provision) can be anything but money. A woman that provides food, home care, peace of mind and sound health has not provided less than one who provides nothing but cash. Failure (of men) to recognize the role of women in the home today is one of the reasons women are beginning to embrace the "independent" concept. This raises a lot of problem because a lot of men (conservative or liberal) today still hold the traditional values on marriage and at the same time (out of either laziness, gold-digging or failing economic realities) desire the independent concept. What this means is that we want our wives to cook, clean and take care of the kids and, at the same time, expect her to work in a corporate "8am-5pm" setting in order to contribute financially to the needs of the family. By the way, I don't believe in alpha male--beta male dichotomy. A man is a man; though may defer in terms of physical strength, all men have similar innate capacities to care for themselves as well as others (family). There are no alpha or beta males, what we have include; rich men, poor men, introverts, extroverts, gentlemen and arrogant men. 9 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by Nobody: 10:47am On Jul 24, 2018 |
Acidosis: Alpha males are men who don't share bills with their wives. They don't cook or do any house chores and they're predominantly found in Africa and some parts of Asia. Beta males are men who share bills with their wives. They view their wives as co-heads/equals ,they cook and do all other chores. They're predominantly found in America, Europe, Australia and some parts of Asia & Africa. Like I said earlier, you can't force all men to be alpha males. If a woman can't part with her money she should shouldn't get married to a beta male. 1 Like |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by Nobody: 10:54am On Jul 24, 2018 |
The lady agreed to support the op, knowing well that two heads are better than one. but sadly she isn't doing her part of the deal after marrying. That's deceit on her part. People need to be understanding, you know your man is struggling and still u invite guests every week? 5 Likes |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by Pricelessangel0(f): 11:19am On Jul 24, 2018 |
HRHQueenPhil:Is that the only sensible thing you could comprehend from his write up. 2 Likes |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by HRHQueenPhil(f): 12:01pm On Jul 24, 2018 |
it is d foundation of solving d issue Pricelessangel0: |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by Pricelessangel0(f): 12:22pm On Jul 24, 2018 |
HRHQueenPhil:As den dey talk "age is just a number" |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by Nobody: 12:35pm On Jul 24, 2018 |
Bros talk to your wife and forget about running away from home. She is insensitive, because if she knew what she had caused you emotionally, she wouldn't feel bad when you refused her sexual advances. It's her town and her people are coming to visit, tell her to think about reducing her availability or she should foot the bills for entertainment. No gender should lack the emotional intelligence required to understand one's spouse. The man is trying his best and she is better off, why is she still reeling in the excitement of 'I just got married', marriage is not an achievement. It is maintaining your home that is worth celebrating. I feel for you, because you guys are supposed to be drawing closer to yourselves, yet you are growing apart. 1 Like |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by divinelove(m): 1:30pm On Jul 24, 2018 |
adedayoa2: will you marry a man without a job too? seems you are the type that believes that marriage is a poverty alleviation programme. Having a job or a steady source of income is the basic requirement for marriage for man n woman. I won't marry a woman without a job or source of income BC I am gainfully employed and hate liability disguised as wife. 4 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by ZIMDRILL(m): 1:52pm On Jul 24, 2018 |
adedayoa2: who doesnt a women works ? unless if your a multi millionaire even though still you watch your spending otherwise you would be broke |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by MrBrownJay1(m): 2:01pm On Jul 24, 2018 |
Tehila07: yes it has.. it normally helps people cope better as they have another foundation to fall back on, if/when their union go through rough patches. While dating, I was not spending money on her because she has a job and was not complaining. I ride okada for a living, hoping to go into a business soon. Before marriage, I used to have spare cash of about 10k always. Even if that 10k is spent on something, I would recover it within a week. any smart person knows that as soon as you marry someone, you will have to spend a little bit more money as a couple than when you were dating....whether you both are working or not. if you actually thought that you would still have extra cash in marriage, then you are the one who was fooling yourself and that should be your 1st ISSUE She told me that if money she spends on feeding and what I spend on feeding are added together, we will feed ourselves, and save more. ISSUE #2 fair enough, thats the time you should have sat down and figure out how much each of you are spending on food, and have a food budget (as long as other budget) in place for marriage life.... also, you guys should have remembered that, with marriage often comes kids, and then feeding money skyrocket. But since we got married, I labour hard to ensure she has whatever she needs. like what exactly?! what more do you spend on today that you didnt spend on before marriage?! be specific Now I'm stretched to the limit and can't cope anymore. She has money in her bank account, but said she's saving for raining days. ISSUE #3 you need to sit her down and communicate with her about A) your failure to cope and B) her refusal to help financially in order to save money....UNLESS your failure to cope has nothing to do with her saving money for rainy days (aka she is sharing the family financial duties as she always did) and therefore you need to be honest with her about your problems in raising money. but either way, she SHOULD help. Anytime she wants to perform online banking, I do it for her. Two days ago, I wanted to buy data, I transferred money from her account to the seller, brought out the money and told her seller accepts bank transfer and I don't want to go and queue in the bank for lodgement. I would have informed her first, but she was busy attending to visitors and her phone was with me. She was angry and said "I will change my password." I replied that the only favor she did me was saving my journey to the bank. She said if she has cash in hand, she would be tempted to spend it. So, it's me that should not have savings? ISSUE #4 you are dealing with an inconsiderate woman who now has issues with money/you.... the minute this happened you should have ssat her down and gone to the bottom of this. never walk away from such big changes in a partner. I don't feel like having sex again, because of the depression and she is now angry that I'm turning her down. Now I'm planning to leave home and return whenever my situation improves. She can cope because she has enough money. ISSUE #5 running away from your problem NEVER solves them, in the contrary, it creates a BIGGER problem. you guys are a couple and should deal with whatever is happening TOGETHER. sit your wife down and COMMUNICATE with her honestly about what is going on because i am not even sure she has any clue. here is my question to you: WHAT IS REALLY THE PROBLEM IN YOUR LIFE? Why the financial pressure on me is too much is that we are both 36 years old and friends keep trouping to our house to wish her well. As a man that manages resources, I entertained guests from my family once for the past two months we got married because it's not my town but hers. She keeps asking me for money to entertain guests. Some friends made it a habit of visiting twice weekly, while she keeps showing me off. When she asked for money for food yesterday and I told her I had no money, she has been moody since then, thinking that I'm hiding money from her. ISSUE #6 ... and you couldnt tell her exactly that?! what about telling her that there is NO money for friends any longer OR that the family budget does NOT permit such frivolous spending OR BETTER YET that she should spend HER money on HER visiting friends?! if that is such a difficult thing to do between you guys, then i suggest you stop this marriage thingy right now, because married life is WAY TOUGHER than that. This was a woman, that, last week, when I said I couldn't afford a particular asoebi that only concerns me because it's costly, went to the market, bought it, and took it to my tailor. Judging from her recent actions, I won't wear that cloth except I'm able to refund the money. ISSUE #7 wait a minute, so you mean to say that you said you had no money for the asoebi, and she went to buy it for you?!?!? and now you are biatching about spending on some snacks for her friends?! it seems to me you are being cheap now. marriage life is all about sharing, but you certainly shouldnt expect HER to foot all the bills, do you? since she paid your asoebi, then you certainly should have some spare money for her friends snack, dont you? or better yet, why dont you TELL her where you actually spend your money (if you have any)? so here is my question to you: ARE YOU TRYING TO RUN AWAY BECAUSE YOU JUST REALIZE THAT YOU AINT GOT MONEY TO COPE WITH MARRIAGE LIFE? P.S: Love is just a rhetoric - humanity died long ago. what has love got to do with anything here?! you didnt ONCE said anything caring about the woman that you supposedly want to spend the rest of your life with... you didnt ONCE talk about anything but money issues, yet want to turn around and mix love to this issue... you didnt ONCE accept responsibility for what is happening by removing the huge misplaced ego that is in the way of your common sense here. LOVE ko, BOXING GLOVE ni! 5 Likes |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by SAMBARRY: 5:37pm On Jul 24, 2018 |
yettymuse:I was as dazed as you School fees money is there School uniform Money is there Text book money Pta levy Socks and lunch package money for the kids is there House rent Dstv money and yet ranting about irrelevances This is just beyond me? Op if you know you weren't ready to be married why did you allow yourself to fall for the go and marry chorus society sings everyday. You don't know 70/80 percent of marriage activities is paying bills and investing all your life on the welfare of kids and keeping the home functioning You remind me of the dude I advised to hold on and get a job that will make him financially sustainable but just like Nigerians obsessed with marriage, he jumped into the marriage bandwagon. This was a guy that even his money from his kerosene buisness was barely enough to cater for his bills,he go marry wife wey expect the husband to pay for her aso ebi Ankara and tailor every Saturday You are 36 and not 16,if as an adult you cannot make informed decision for what is best for your life at every point in time with wisdom and rationality, then carry your burden or divorce and shut the fok up 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by tensazangetsu20(m): 6:35pm On Jul 24, 2018 |
flyca: It's not just Nigeria it's almost the whole continent. Incompetent nincompoops and morons in leadership positions. 3 Likes |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by adedayoa2(f): 7:25pm On Jul 24, 2018 |
divinelove:if i haven't done it I won't be here saying it, I started dating my husband when he didn't have a job, it was not like there were no working suitors but he was just the one I wanted so don't come and be telling me what you're writing. You don't know anything about me 7 Likes |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by divinelove(m): 9:49pm On Jul 24, 2018 |
adedayoa2: dated him when he didn't have a job is different from married him when he didn't have a job. did u marry him jobless? the answer is no. you dated him jobless and he eventually got a job b4 you married him if not u would have dumped his broke ass 2 Likes |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by Nobody: 10:32pm On Jul 24, 2018 |
flyca: I have a Bachelor of Technology. What seems as ill-luck is my being born as a Nigerian. I taught students Maths and Physics during my NYSC days, and my fame spread like wild fire in the small town. The town's king wanted me to be sneaked into Ondo State Teaching Service Commission, but found out I'm not a "qualified teacher" because of the technology thing, and not "edu". In Craig David's voice, " I'm walking away oh to find a better day." 9 Likes |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by Acidosis(m): 11:01pm On Jul 24, 2018 |
Elder001: You cook for your wife everyday? 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by Nobody: 12:10am On Jul 25, 2018 |
Acidosis: I know where you want to drive at by this question yet I'll answer you. Yes, I do. One cannot over emphasize the happiness and fulfilment I derive from it. 2 Likes |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by Nobody: 12:14am On Jul 25, 2018 |
SAMBARRY: You're not wise. Why should a woman get married if she doesn't want to part with her money? Do you guys think marriage is child's play that you'll turn into a parasite for someone? I repeat, you're not wise. If you don't have sense to advice don't tell him to shut up. 2 Likes |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by Nobody: 12:16am On Jul 25, 2018 |
MrBrownJay1: My brother there's nothing like help. Financial provision is the responsibility of both partners so she's not helping anybody. |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by adedayoa2(f): 3:25am On Jul 25, 2018 |
divinelove:how many women can date a jobless man? |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by KanwuliaExtra: 3:41am On Jul 25, 2018 |
Marriage is tough I swear! Both 36 years old and can’t work as a team? What a pity! I thought I was reading about 25 year-olds. Kai!!!!! 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by Acidosis(m): 7:31am On Jul 25, 2018 |
Elder001: Why? |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by kenex4ever(m): 8:43am On Jul 25, 2018 |
yettymuse:jus keep kwayet there!!!!!! The guy rides okada for a living and his wife knows, so why force too much expenses on him? Marriage is not a one sided thing, if she can't support then divorce her so dat menopause can marry her simple. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by Nobody: 9:16am On Jul 25, 2018 |
Acidosis: Because I feel happy doing so. I can do all that so there's no need stressing my wife ,I only want her to enjoy the meals and be appreciative. 2 Likes |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by Nobody: 9:20am On Jul 25, 2018 |
adedayoa2: If not for ego no man will be dating a jobless woman. 3 Likes |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by Acidosis(m): 10:06am On Jul 25, 2018 |
Elder001: Alright, good to know 1 Like |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by MrBrownJay1(m): 11:04am On Jul 25, 2018 |
Elder001: if two people are sharing the family duties, and one cannot pull their fair share (for whatever reason), then YES the other would be "helping" him/her while they can get their act together... the catch here is that, unless that man grows ball and start communicating with his wife about his financial issues, then nothing will be resolved here. 1 Like |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by SAMBARRY: 1:10pm On Jul 25, 2018 |
Elder001:who is this one suffering from dementia that just badged into my mention like an animal without a leech? Everyone sha wants to be noticed on nl sha. Oponu. You won't be wise. If it's swear back to senderElder Rada Rada. Useless, classless, uncouth and unfortunate elder. Elder oshi. You're not supposed to be calling yourself elder, you ought to call yourself agbaya oshi or agbaya tioletole |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by Nobody: 10:36pm On Jul 25, 2018 |
SAMBARRY:Why you dey reply this one mention.. This one is unfortunate na 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by SAMBARRY: 6:42am On Jul 26, 2018 |
yettymuse:obviously |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by qtx(m): 2:44pm On Jul 26, 2018 |
Go here for http://courtshipandmarriage.com[url][/url] and all your tears will be wiped off. |
Re: I'm About To Regret Getting Married by Nobody: 5:18pm On Jul 26, 2018 |
yettymuse: Sorry please, what does chi chom chin mean? 1 Like |
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