LewsTherin:
Sometimes I wonder if I live in a different universe from most fellows here on Nairaland.

I began funding my Lady's education about her third year. Her family was going through a tough patch. It was the least I could do. I paid for her entire final year and youth service. Interestingly, it was during her youth service that I proposed to her.

She paid me back. In spades. He family funded almost 80% of our wedding as I had just lost my job (I had an offer on hold at that time though) and my family was going through a tough patch.

So I've had no reason to regret my Lady chopping my moni. It's been well worth it.

Amarabae:
July is rounding up, August is around the corner.
May favour locate you in the new month to come
.
I am going to be brief about this issue.
It's about those guys that love to complain bitterly about how they trained a lady in a higher institution with hope of marrying her after she graduates, only for the lady to graduate and dump him.
I have witnessed one, the guy a wealthy trader brought the girl from the village somewhere in the east,
Trained her in Uniabuja, she did a four years course, graduated and served in Oyo state, while in Nysc, she started giving the young man attitude in terms of communication,
When the surprised guy pressed hard to inquire About what the problem is from his "future wife "
The girl told him plain and pure that he should get another girl and marry, that if she get a job in the future, she may repay him all that he spent on her.
The downcasted young man attempted suicide by mixing rat poison in his food, it was unbearable for him,
All his profits he spent on this girl,
His friends warned him, his sister was not in support yet being a guy madly in love, how can you think he will listen to you.
Luckily he was revived at a hospital after a young cousin alerted his neighbors who rushed in and saw how life is trying to snuff out of him, they rushed him to the hospital for medical help.
.
I felt so sorry for him .
Inasmuch as the girl was mean by playing with the young man emotion all along.
I strongly blame the young man for being stupid.
Had it been that he married the girl and then start training her, that's fine, many men do it.
But he placed his hope on that after training her, the girl will accept to marry him,
He took a risk but it backfired.
Had it been that he wanted to train her just for kindness sake and don't have any marriage objectives in mind, that would be understandable.
Both of them share in the blame.
.
As a guy, Can you train a girl in higher institution with hope of marrying her after she graduates?
.
As a girl, if a guy you don't have affection for offers to train you in the University, will you pretend to love him?
After graduating, if he proposes ,will you accept?

.
Let's discuss

Seenyo:
to all those saying marry her first, DON'T BE NAIVE OR CAUGHT UN-AWARE !


I have an elderly friend who sent his wife that bore him 4 children to school, the wife later left him to remarry a graduate!


AFTER WOMEN, FEAR WOMEN!...a word is enough!

funmisticqueen:
But when a lady says she cant support any man's dreams you are quick to label her an olosho, a gold digger or a runz girl. Mr hypocrite who are you deceiving

LewsTherin:
Sometimes I wonder if I live in a different universe from most fellows here on Nairaland.

I began funding my Lady's education about her third year. Her family was going through a tough patch. It was the least I could do. I paid for her entire final year and youth service. Interestingly, it was during her youth service that I proposed to her.

She paid me back. In spades. He family funded almost 80% of our wedding as I had just lost my job (I had an offer on hold at that time though) and my family was going through a tough patch.

So I've had no reason to regret my Lady chopping my moni. It's been well worth it.

MissRaine69:
You don’t invest in someone whom you do not have a future with. For Instance I can understand a husband or wife encouraging their spouse to return to school or better themselves in anyway. But to invest in someone with the automatic assumption that they will be yours is entrapment.
Of the highest level!

Just2endowed2:


I think I have read this story before

majekdom2:
are you saying until you are married to someone, you can't have a future wit them?

MissRaine69:

I am saying be realistic and stop holding people to ransom. Help because you want to help not because you expect some emotional payment in return.
I don’t think it’s that hard to understand.

Seenyo:
to all those saying marry her first, DON'T BE NAIVE OR CAUGHT UN-AWARE !


I have an elderly friend who sent his wife that bore him 4 children to school, the wife later left him to remarry a graduate!
the trauma lunched the man into depression but He later got over it.


AFTER WOMEN, FEAR WOMEN!...a word is enough!

majekdom2:
I understand your point clearly. However, most times in emotional relationships, we help because of what the other party is to us and who they are. In most cases, we expect not to be disappointed as there are expectations. Commitment is a combination of energy, time and money. This is the reality.

lefulefu:
na wao which young graduate go dey marry a mother with four kids.except maybe she anbandoned her kids sha.

donstan18:


You have a point, bruv. Nobody wants liability.


I hate it when some men cry after being dumped by a lady they trained. What stops you from marrying and making her your own before training her?

Newboss:
And what stops her from divorcing you after her NYSC ?

Girlfriend or wife, all na the same!

BIXYBABE:

They said she must get belle or av a child for him before training her.

Amarabae:
whats funny

donstan18:


Lol, sincerely. I don't strongly believe in relationship in Nigeria, I like facing necessary challenges, not liability and unnecessary challenges. Men are loosing in relationships with a typical Nigerian girlfriend.

I love freedom and peace of mind and life, and aswell I don't believe in emotional manipulation and blackmail.

For me, Boyfriend and Girlfriends don't owe themselves explanations on anything till they get married.

>If a lady decides not to marry you after training her in school, it's her choice and not a sin against man.
>If a man decides not to marry you after committing 15 abortions for him, it's still his choice.

We shouldn't marry out of pity.


That's my opinion dear.

happney65:
Have said it times without number..I cannot be held responsible for the bills of a girl i am not married too..As in why should I?

The only thing i will do while dating will be normal boyfriend/girlfriend stuffss..Not paying any compulsory Bills..

Am married now,and the bills of my now wife then girlfriend were not paid by ME...They were paid by her Mum..Her schools fees,Rent,Upkeep etc

If i meet a girl that feels dating me means i should be the one to pay her bills,I'll fuccck her only and send her away...

I am not held responsible to you..cos no be me born you..I am only responsible to my wife which i am married to..

It was when my girlfriend now wife got Pregnant her bills became mine 100%..

This notion of a Man paying bills of a grown adult is just nonesensical..We are not married,you are not my Child why should i be held responsible for you?Just Why?

Arrant Nonesense

kimbraa:
All these nairaland guys screaming "I cannot marry, date a liability" check well, they're the real definition of a liability. If you know, you know.

funmisticqueen:
But when a lady says she cant support any man's dreams you are quick to label her an olosho, a gold digger or a runz girl. Mr hypocrite who are you deceiving

1realBobby:
My question is, Must one go through a higher institution of learning before one can be considered literate?

I for one can get married to any lady, provided she has something doing or is in the process of acquiring a skill and most importantly, very much enlightened.

I know some girls back in the days who after going through the university for up to five years studying engineering, later graduating and ending up becoming fashion designers. So, does it mean that all the years they spent in school was wasted?

Well, going back to the question the OP raised, i think personally, it is outrightly foolish for any man to train a lady through school with the ultimate aim of marrying her after graduation because my people would always say one thing ' eyes wey don see outside must tear finish ' . meaning that you should not expect the lady to be the same person she was before you sent her to school.

From my own personal experience while i was in school... There was this particular girl, she was already engaged before she gained admission. Her husband to be, who was also her sponsor would always come around most weekends to either take her out or just to see her. But guess what? This girl in question was also shagging one of our course mates. we got to know all these when the girl later got pregnant for that coursemate of ours, thereby making her future husband/sponsor withdraw from paying her fees. The other guy who was also a student like her could not afford shouldering her bills, so she had to drop out. This particular lady didn't play her card well, if not she would have taken preventive measures, continue deceiving her sponsor and then break his heart at the dying minute just to be with the other guy. But karma's a bitch.. she got served

I do not believe in love, so i can't do any thing foolish for the sake of love. There are so many fish in the river for you to make your choice from if you wish to. If it's a lady with masters you want, dem plenty wey dey find husband. If it's an illiterate or perhaps semi enlightened lady you want, dem full the market. By the way, now adays no need to even marry again. we are in the era of 'Baby Mamas'

ImaIma1:


Are you not on Nairaland? Men cry fowl more than women! Infact the men here weep fowl . Countless threads that men create are filling up NL. Just search around.

donstan18:


I can't train any lady in school with the hope of marrying her, I don't wish to date an illiterate, I just don't want liability, I can't tolerate or stress myself for any woman who's not my mum, sister or wife, I detest needy ladies, I hate pests, not from any lady.


But if I find what I want from a woman in an illiterate, I'll kindly marry her and get her pregnant before sending her to school.


I must have a reason to hold while training her in school, which is "She's my wife"


pls stop,,ur write up is annoying

donstan18:


I can't train any lady in school with the hope of marrying her, I don't wish to date an illiterate, I just don't want liability, I can't tolerate or stress myself for any woman who's not my mum, sister or wife, I detest needy ladies, I hate pests, not from any lady.


But if I find what I want from a woman in an illiterate, I'll kindly marry her and get her pregnant before sending her to school.


I must have a reason to hold while training her in school, which is "She's my wife"


pls stop,,ur write up is annoying