2buffagain:
It would seem that of all tribes, igbo are the most geographically tied to their village.

We are in America. Yet All the igbo girls I know who marry require that she and her boo travel back to her village all the way in naija to do trad ceremonies even when the girl and her necessary family members live abroad in the same yankee.
These trips add to costs.

Are there actually igbo families out here who are pragmatic enough to not require these excessive movements?
Or is this something to pretty much expect from people from that part of Nigeria?

Serious answers only please.

pointblank247:
in igbo Land marriage is sacrade and if the union was not blessed by your village or KINDRED by partication, you are not Seen as married. They value their culture and tradition, you may be permited to have the traditional marriage thing in absentia, represented by your people, so it is not one rigid tradition but a way of ensuring that the right things are done. This is why its hard for an igbo lady to just relax with you and be having children with out the right thing done, though the indomie generation are less carefull

chigoizie7:
Since u guys have relatives all living abroad. U can do it there. And then a small feast in naija with kindreds of both bride and groom present.
In Igbo land, marriage is not just about the bride and groom it is both families. Otherwise u can just live with the woman and not marry her at all.

ebonflexy:
I fix this problem by just generally not pursuing marriage with igbo girls.
I'm based in yankee too and the thought of making tenious trips back to nigeria just to marry is not attractive.

Its not like you will get any benefit from marrying her that you won't get from marrying any other woman here that has sense.
So bro please if she and her people don't want to have sense, let them marry their own.

Find you a good naija girl in yankee who's parents are here and can handle all these things here without village involvement.
The only thing that should matters is that the bride is given away from her father's house, which can be any where in the world!
That's why I like yoruba culture. They are generally more progressive about these things. Igbo will use their culture thing to kill you.

2buffagain:
Again, what if he doesn’t have people in Nigeria?
Both bride and grooms parents are in yankee, but Igbo folk still insist on this massively expensive trip to their village for a wedding that pragmatism dictates should just be done here.

KillaBeauty:
I totally agree with those girls. Marriage in Igbo land is serious business and is usually conducted according to set down tradition and custom. Remember marriage is not just between the man and the woman in Igbo land, it is between two families and you don’t exclude the extended family in the marital rites. If you can afford it, you should totally do things the right way and if not, your woman should be able to see reasons why you won’t be able to incur all that costs but if it were me, I’d insist on doing things the right way.

addictiv:

I don't think this is correct. You will only see them come back if the bride is from igbo land, has a large family and most of them re in Nigeria including her parents. But if her parents are with her abroad the rites can be performed there.. Most igbo guys that marry foreigners do not come home to perform marriage rites

prettysassygirl:
Igbo culture is d best

2buffagain:


OMG such a bore!

2buffagain:


What is "Right"?
Throwing money away to satisfy frivolous "they must know" desires, or bundling up that same money and putting it into trust funds for each of my children so they can start their life when they hit age 20 with a cool half a million dollars?

From experience, Poverty does not leave the mind even if money enters people's hands.
The average Nigerian does not ask "Why" and does not question things...preferring interest to give priority to "Ha, what would THEY think" or "Hmm, THEY must know today that I/we have arrived"?
Who is the THEY and why should you care?

As someone said, other cultures in Nigeria are more sensible and pragmatic as the world is no longer what it was during the times these customs of old prehistoric men were formed. Traditionists bore me, as they are incapable of independent thought past the dictates of prehistoric individuals like me and you who formd things according to their own understanding in their time.

Tried giving Igbo families a chance one last time but it seems they never fail to over-do the culture thing past what even makes sense. Done with 'em.

2buffagain:


What is "Right"?
Throwing money away to satisfy frivolous "they must know" desires, or bundling up that same money and putting it into trust funds for each of our unborn children so they can start their life when they hit age 20 with a cool $500,000+ dollars....actually moving the family generation forward in a meaningful way? (Do you typical africans even know what investing is or all you know is cash?)

From experience, Poverty does not leave the mind even if money enters people's hands.
The average Nigerian does not ask "Why" and does not question things...preferring interest to give priority to "Ha, what would THEY think" or "Hmm, THEY must know today that I/we have arrived"?
Who is the THEY and why should you care?

As someone said, other cultures in Nigeria are more sensible and pragmatic as the world is no longer what it was during the times these customs of old prehistoric men were formed. Traditionists bore me, as they are incapable of independent thought past the dictates of prehistoric individuals like me and you who formd things according to their own understanding in their time.

Tried giving Igbo families a chance one last time but it seems they never fail to over-do the culture thing past what even makes sense. Done with 'em.

Lonestar124:
Please close down this thread... I'm sorry, you're not making point from the topic to your responses.

ndy87:
this one pain op gan.

2buffagain:


That sounds cool and all but, from my experience with these discussions, I am yet to meet an igbo woman/family who agrees to this. They all seem to want to do the thing back in their village. (...I guess to show off?)

I have immediate family (parents, brothers, sisters) and some uncles all living abroad.
Some Uncles aunties and such are in naija, but in lagos. Travelling far east is a major endeavor I would rather not place on my extended relatives over there because of different family dynamics.

From my understanding, biblical and otherwise, It is the girl's father who gives her away. He and her mum is here. I have my trusted people here as well. Money can be sent to those in Naija to party small. That really should be all there is to it...but the igbo families I've encountered aren't about that modest/pragmatic life so it seems.

chigoizie7:

That's ur own perception bro. If u don't like the culture. U can go ahead to do ur thing the way u like. But the Igbo tribe will not change the way they do their thing just because u have a problem with it. No, it doesn't work that way.
The Bible also respects the good aspect of people's culture. Also I can tell u that traditional marriage is not bad as it is not evil in any sense.
In so many other cultures all over the world, they all have their different weddings, the Indians has their own, the Chinese, the Japanese, the Arab, the English( white wedding) , the Nigerians both Igbo, Hausa, Yoruba, efik ( traditional wedding).
One type of wedding is enough for any group of people as long as they recognized it as a means of marriage rites. Just because the white wedding ( western culture ) came about to this part of the world, should we abolish our own TRADITIONALLY recognized form of wedding and take up on other people's? I don't think so.

Some might think traditional wedding is echaic? If it is then, the white wedding which is the generally recognized form of traditional wedding to the western world will be echaic to the Chinese, Japanese, Indian or even the Arabs.

The westerners have all accepted the white wedding and its norms, so as other cultures.
Traditional wedding or not, it's ur choice.

chigoizie7:



That's ur own perception bro. If u don't like the culture. U can go ahead to do ur thing the way u like. But the Igbo tribe will not change the way they do their thing just because u have a problem with it. No, it doesn't work that way.


The Bible also respects the good aspect of people's culture. Also I can tell u that traditional marriage is not bad as it is not evil in any sense of it.


In so many other cultures all over the world, they all have their different weddings, the Indians has their own, the Chinese, the Japanese, the Arab, the English( white wedding) , the Nigerians both Igbo, Hausa, Yoruba, efik ( traditional wedding).

One type of wedding is enough for any group of people as long as they recognized it as a means of marriage rites. Just because the white wedding ( western culture ) came about to this part of the world, should we abolish our own TRADITIONALLY recognized form of wedding and take up on other people's? I don't think so.

Some might think traditional wedding is echaic? If it is then, the white wedding which is the generally recognized form of traditional wedding to the western world will be echaic to the Chinese, Japanese, Indian or even the Arabs.


The westerners have all accepted the white wedding and its norms, so as other cultures.






Traditional wedding or not, it's ur choice.