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Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are - Romance (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are (4774 Views)

Should I Continue With This Relationship Or I Should Just Step Out / Most Girls Dont Marry Who They Really Love. They Just Marry Whos Available. / Na To Just Marry Village Girl (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by ebonflexy(m): 9:35pm On Aug 13, 2018
IamLEGEND1:
First, anyone marrying outside his tribe or race should do so with the willingness to embrace his partner's culture and all the realities, pleasant or otherwise that come with the package.

with that said, any partner not willing to abandon trivial, stupid, sometimes
even harmful cultural practices simply because "it is our custom"..... well, that person's thought process is too similar to a sheep's and shouldn't be allowed to breed with humans.

for the O.P of this thread:
while a generalization like the one you just made about Igbo girls is symptomatic of a narrow-minded view on your part, the underlying points remain a valid argument, which in a more enlightened climate would be taken more seriously.

You really have no point in calling the OP narrow-minded.
He is going by what the self-same igbos advertise their culture to be, as can even be seen from the commenters on this thread.
Apparently He also has multiple negative experience to buttress the point he is making, laong with igbotic confirmers here, so I really don't understand how this your "narrow-minded" insult makes sense.

You can only accuse someone of generalizing if the people he is talking about aren't actively confirming his point with every post.
You are just reaching. Apply logic.

1 Like

Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by IamLEGEND1: 9:59pm On Aug 13, 2018
ebonflexy:

You really have no point in calling the OP narrow-minded.
He is going by what the self-same igbos advertise their culture to be, as can even be seen from the commenters on this thread.
Apparently He also has multiple negative experience to buttress the point he is making, laong with igbotic confirmers here, so I really don't understand how this your "narrow-minded" insult makes sense.
You can only accuse someone of generalizing if the people he is talking about aren't actively confirming his point with every post.
You are just reaching. Apply logic.

I would wager a testicle the OP hasn't interacted with 0.5% of all Igbos alive today. So, unless proven that 100% of the Igbo population accepts this practice as the only acceptable process, his decision to heap everyone, with no exception, into the same basket remains inaccurate and my conclusion valid.

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Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by ebonflexy(m): 10:05pm On Aug 13, 2018
IamLEGEND1:

I would wager a testicle the OP hasn't interacted with 0.5% of all Igbos alive today. So, unless proven that 100% of the Igbo population accept this practice as the only acceptable process, his decision to heap everyone, with no exception, into the same basket remains inaccurate and my conclusion valid.


Your conclusion is based on your ego. Nothing more.
Allow me to simplify...

People are judged by how they advertize themselves.
According to this thread alone, have the igbos who posted advertized thier beliefs to be anything BUT what the OP has expressed?

You will hardly meet any igbo person that does not represent what the OP just talked about, whether they make that agreement with an insult or not.

I take it you are igbo. If you people want to be progressive, you should openly question the excesses of your own people as the OP, and you, have done.

That said, I think OP likes igbo girls as he keeps running into them, but the traditionist/excessist mindset of her and her family is offputting and not something he can see himself merging with for the rest of his life as it extends past just the wedding all the way to burial. I feel the same way! It's too much unneeded stress.

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Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by IamLEGEND1: 10:22pm On Aug 13, 2018
ebonflexy:

According to this thread alone, have the igbos who posted advertized themselves to be anything BUT what the OP has expressed as backward?

You will hardly meet any igbo person that does not represent what the OP just talked about, whether they make that agreement with an insult or not.

I take it you are igbo. If you people want to be seen as progressive people, you should openly question your own people as the OP has done.
According to this thread...

do you even hear yourself? when has the comments of no more than 5 random strangers become an acceptable sample size on which to base your judgement of an entire tribe made up of millions of people living in all corners of the globe?
and maybe you should take the time to revisit my first & second comments on this thread; read them slowly this time and maybe the part where I questioned the rationale behind adhering to obsolete customs will become clear to you because I just assumed you missed it the first time OR maybe you just have selective amnesia.

+ I am a Fulani guy. call me idealistic but I believe humans should be able to see things objectively irrespective of racial, tribal or religious affiliations.

4 Likes

Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by 2buffagain(m): 10:29pm On Aug 13, 2018
IamLEGEND1:
According to this thread...

do you even hear yourself? when has the comments of no more than 5 random strangers become an acceptable sample size on which to base your judgement of an entire tribe made up of millions of people living in all corners of the globe?
and maybe you should take the time to revisit my first & second comments on this thread; read them slowly this time and maybe the part where I questioned the rationale behind adhering to obsolete customs will become clear to you because I just assumed you missed it the first time OR maybe you just have selective amnesia.

+ I am a Fulani guy. call me idealistic but I believe humans should be able to see things objectively irrespective of racial, tribal or religious affiliations.

Then you need a larger sample size....so I will fault you with ignorance and lack of actual experience.
This is not the first time I have asked this question. Besides me, a quick check online yields another similar conversation, along with the usual expected responses whenever someone asks the typical igbotic mind a question about their culture...

https://www.bellanaija.com/2017/01/laura-ikeji-arrives-nkwerre-for-her-traditional-wedding-happening-tomorrow/
(see comment section)

Furthermore, When people are honest enough to tell you who they are and what they believe in... believe them. It is illogical to argue that they don't believe what they have told you they believe.

2 Likes

Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by ebonflexy(m): 10:33pm On Aug 13, 2018
IamLEGEND1:
According to this thread...

do you even hear yourself? when has the comments of no more than 5 random strangers become an acceptable sample size on which to base your judgement of an entire tribe made up of millions of people living in all corners of the globe?
and maybe you should take the time to revisit my first & second comments on this thread; read them slowly this time and maybe the part where I questioned the rationale behind adhering to obsolete customs will become clear to you because I just assumed you missed it the first time OR maybe you just have selective amnesia.

+ I am a Fulani guy. call me idealistic but I believe humans should be able to see things objectively irrespective of racial, tribal or religious affiliations.

I acknowledged your comment, but you should have simply ended it there.
You started becoming illogical when going further to harange the OP besides all the copious evidence right before your eyes of people telling you pretty much that that is how they roll, hence you were reaching... for ego purposes or maybe just persistent ignorance?

1 Like

Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by selemempe: 10:35pm On Aug 13, 2018
ebonflexy:
I fix this problem by just generally not pursuing marriage with igbo girls.
I'm based in yankee too and the thought of me and mine making tenious trips back to nigeria just to marry is not attractive nor is it economical (~$2000 per person!!!).

Its not like you will get any benefit from marrying her that you won't get from marrying any other woman here that has sense.
So bro please if she and her people don't want to have sense, let them marry their own.

Find you a good naija girl in yankee who's parents are there with her and can handle all these things without village involvement.
The only thing that should matters is that the bride is given away from her father's house, which can be any where in the world!
That's why I like yoruba culture. They are generally more progressive about these things. Igbo will use their culture thing to kill you.
u are the same sick bastard as the op. U have opened a thread like this b4.

Ur igbo hate is laughable because the great igbo tribe dont gv a poo about ur opinion

1 Like

Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by ebonflexy(m): 10:41pm On Aug 13, 2018
selemempe:
u are the same sick bastard as the op. U have opened a thread like this b4.

Ur igbo hate is laughable because the great igbo tribe dont gv a poo about ur opinion

I don't hate igbos.

Not sure what kind of logic that is that we must be the same person? I already said how the OP and I have the same experience.
This thread questions is a popular and sadly well-defended reputation of your people that any sensible mind WILL rightly question.
Soooo what's your point?

Igbos never dissapoint me though.
When I created my thread earlier, I was met with the same display of backwardness and regurgitated chants affirming the very attitude I questioned.

1 Like

Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by selemempe: 10:54pm On Aug 13, 2018
ebonflexy:


I don't hate igbos.

Not sure what kind of logic that is that we must be the same person? I already said how the OP and I have the same experience.
This thread questions is a popular and sadly well-defended reputation of your people that any sensible mind WILL rightly question.
Soooo what's your point?
Ur igbo hate is laughable because the great igbo tribe dont gv a poo about ur opinion
Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by IamLEGEND1: 10:57pm On Aug 13, 2018
2buffagain:


Then you need a larger sample size....so I will fault you with ignorance and lack of experience.
This is not the first time I have asked this question. Besides me, a quick check online yields another similar conversation, along with the usual expected responses whenever someone asks the typical igbotic mind a question about their culture...

When people are honest enough to tell you who they are and what they believe in... believe them. It is illogical to argue that they don't believe what they have told you they believe.
This, right here, is textbook confirmation bias.
personally, I have met a good number of Igbo folks who didn't give a fuck_about getting married in their villages but you don't see me using that as a blanket for all others.
simply put, some prefer to stick to their tradition, which admittedly, is sometimes more trouble than it is worth. others prefer the pragmatic approach.
if you still can't see the difference & prefer to stay true to your
one shoe fits all ideology- seeing things through an incredibly reductive lens....... then there is no point to this back and forth. I'll just have to accept what the earlier comments on this thread insinuated..... that you are just a hater.

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Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by IamLEGEND1: 11:05pm On Aug 13, 2018
ebonflexy:

I acknowledged your comment, but you should have simply ended it there.
You started becoming illogical when going further to harangue the OP besides all the copious evidence right before your eyes of people telling you pretty much that that is how they roll, hence you were reaching... for ego purposes or maybe just persistent ignorance?
When 10 or 20..... or even a hundred people tell me they prefer this way of doing things, I'll believe them..... but it still doesn't negate the existence of a side that would prefer not to do things this way. and a lot more others who exist in the gray area between these polar opposites.
your refusal to acknowledge this fact is what makes whatever argument you make extremely lopsided, and from this point forward, not worth my time.

2 Likes

Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by chigoizie7(m): 11:06pm On Aug 13, 2018
2buffagain:


You are derailing and off point.
No one said anything about not doing traditional weddings. In fact, trad is the most important wedding as it involves all the basic parts of a wedding already i.e parents giving away daughter. White wedding is in fact not neccessary.

The difference between these cultures you have mentioned and the african igbo is that those cultures DO IT WHERE THEY ARE.
This is because people from other cultures are PRAGMATIC as to the realities of the current age....a trait I am yet to find with most igbo traditionists....from my multiple experiences anyway.


Well, on that note, u can speak for the one u know.

I know some cases where the traditional Igbo wedding was performed outside the Igbo land.

Also some that were done in absentia( the couple to be weren't physically present).
Or some cases where it is either the bride or the groom is around. One happened near my house on Sunday, the would be husband stays in UK , but didn't come for the ceremony.
Even when my own uncle did his fees years ago, he came home alone to do the traditional rites, to date, I have never set my eyes on my uncles wife physically.


My point is this, there are so many case where it happens. U can even make research and see some videos online. Everyone is opening up to new trends while not forgetting their cultures.
Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by MissRaine69(f): 11:41pm On Aug 13, 2018
2buffagain:
filleSouriante
KillaBeauty
Elder001 Onegai Funmicoconuts pocohantas ubunja Sagamite Rokia2 MissRaine69 lolawilliams MrBrownJay1 Lalastica
I am not Igbo
Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by 2buffagain(m): 11:53pm On Aug 13, 2018
IamLEGEND1:
When 10 or 20..... or even a hundred people tell me they prefer this way of doing things, I'll believe them..... but it still doesn't negate the existence of a side that would prefer not to do things this way. and a lot more others who exist in the gray area between these polar opposites.
your refusal to acknowledge this fact is what makes whatever argument you make extremely lopsided, and from this point forward, not worth my time.

Well they are not vocal if they agree with doing things differently. The emptier/unthinking vessels make the most noise and control the public opinion of their culture.

1 Like

Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by MrBrownJay1(m): 12:00am On Aug 14, 2018
i dont get how people go so far away from home and tradition, and still get the mind to worry about such mariage rites.... as i dont believe in marriage, let me just look down on such waste of money and time, all in the name of "je ne sais quoi".

i guess, to each their own!

1 Like

Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by rex444(m): 5:59am On Aug 14, 2018
There is a reason why the sky is blue on a sunny day, there is a reason why bats fly at dawn,there is a reason why things r just the way the are. Better left unturned...i wonder what we would be if our cultural n traditional heritage is lost...
Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by Yoshy: 6:05am On Aug 14, 2018
2buffagain:


That sounds cool and all but, from my experience with these discussions, I am yet to meet an igbo woman/family who agrees to this. They all seem to want to do the thing back in their village. (...I guess to show off?)

I have immediate family (parents, brothers, sisters) and some uncles all living abroad.
Some Uncles aunties and such are in naija, but in lagos. Travelling far east is a major endeavor I would rather not place on my extended relatives over there because of different family dynamics.

From my understanding, biblical and otherwise, It is the girl's father who gives her away. He and her mum is here. I have my trusted people here as well. Money can be sent to those in Naija to party small. That really should be all there is to it...but the igbo families I've encountered aren't about that modest/pragmatic life so it seems.

It's a personal issue. The girl in question wanted to do some celebrations at home, if not I don't see any reason why you should worry.

Sending small stuff to the kindred at home to equally celebrate supposed to settle it.


Between, I'm asking out of curiosity, why would someone want to marry Nigerian girls, African Americans, Africans abroad? With all these bad behaviour they exhibit and uphold?
Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by Nobody: 9:13am On Aug 14, 2018
One of the intelligent and flawless posts here is from IamLEGEND1. The OP writes (English only) like he's educated but when people generalize (poor sample size + availability/confirmation bias), it says a lot about one's thought pattern.

My advise, marry from any other tribe or nation, except of course, one baba or prophet has told you that your destiny is tied to marrying an Igbo.

1 Like

Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by 2buffagain(m): 6:14pm On Aug 14, 2018
rex444:
There is a reason why the sky is blue on a sunny day, there is a reason why bats fly at dawn,there is a reason why things r just the way the are. Better left unturned...i wonder what we would be if our cultural n traditional heritage is lost...

There is a difference between losing it and evolving it.

You would be better progressive human beings when you evolve it.
Traditions that enshrine backwardness serve no one and take up too much valuable mind space that should be given to greater things.
Ever wonder why africans generally don't invent anything worthwhile today? We typically waste our finite energies on useless matters..some tribes more than others.

Even the jews (which igbo people tried to claim they are but have been denied by actual jews), they are a divinely-traditional people, but none of them travel back to Israel just to marry. It is an excess.

Not even God cares about your man-made cultural burdens.
You create these things simply to place burdens on yourselves (or for fetish reasons you are ignorant of) and on others at the expense of the things that actually matter.

If God hasn't asked for it specifically, and if it is of no perceivable benefit, it is useless and a waste.
That's my culture.

1 Like

Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by 2buffagain(m): 6:15pm On Aug 14, 2018
Processor01:
One of the intelligent and flawless posts here is from IamLEGEND1. The OP writes (English only) like he's educated but when people generalize (poor sample size + availability/confirmation bias), it says a lot about one's thought pattern.

My advise, marry from any other tribe or nation, except of course, one baba or prophet has told you that your destiny is tied to marrying an Igbo.

Nope. It says a lot about one's EXPERIENCE.
Adjust yourself.
Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by 2buffagain(m): 6:24pm On Aug 14, 2018
Funny enough Nairaland just suggested this thread following this same topic.
I cringe at the myopic views of the igbotics in there https://www.nairaland.com/1444513/traditional-marriage-village-it-compulsory
Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by princesweetman2(m): 6:42pm On Aug 14, 2018
MissRaine69:

I am not Igbo

Guess ur a/ibom or cal. wink

Don't ask me how I got it. tongue
Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by 2buffagain(m): 7:00pm On Aug 14, 2018
Yoshy:


It's a personal issue. The girl in question wanted to do some celebrations at home, if not I don't see any reason why you should worry.

Sending small stuff to the kindred at home to equally celebrate supposed to settle it.


Between, I'm asking out of curiosity, why would someone want to marry Nigerian girls, African Americans, Africans abroad? With all these bad behaviour they exhibit and uphold?

There are still many good black women out here.
Concerning a subset of said women, I for one like the idea of a wifey who one can roll pidgin with from time to time. When I date african americans ladies, there's always that disconnect because you can't take them to some things like a raw naija comedy shows cuz they'll just feel lost. grin

The good ones are hard to find though, and are generally very quiet.
Thing about life is, and I think I've said it here, it is usually the empty-headed/unthinking ones that are the loudest and thus create the most negative advertisement for their group.
Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by rex444(m): 8:04pm On Aug 14, 2018
2buffagain:


There is a difference between losing it and evolving it.

You would be better progressive human beings when you evolve it.
Traditions that enshrine backwardness serve no one and take up too much valuable mind space that should be given to greater things.
Ever wonder why africans generally don't invent anything worthwhile today? We typically waste our finite energies on useless matters..some tribes more than others.

Even the jews (which igbo people tried to claim they are but have been denied by actual jews), they are a divinely-traditional people, but none of them travel back to Israel just to marry. It is an excess.

Not even God cares about your man-made cultural burdens.
You create these things simply to place burdens on yourselves and on others at the expense of the things that actually matter.

If God hasn't asked for it specifically, and if it is of no perceivable benefit, it is useless and a waste.
That's my culture.
ok....u know what steps to take
Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by Nobody: 9:45pm On Aug 14, 2018
2buffagain:


Nope. It says a lot about one's EXPERIENCE.
Adjust yourself.

C'mon dude, you can do better.

Experience = Subjective
Clear thinking = Objective


My advice again - there are lots of superb women from the Western, Mid-Western, Northern (rare though) and South-South of Nigeria to choose from in the US.
Quit whining or trying to denigrate a tribe.

1 Like

Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by hammer6F: 10:31pm On Aug 14, 2018
2buffagain:
It would seem that of all tribes, igbo are the most geographically tied to their village.

We are in America. Yet All the igbo girls I know who marry require that she and her boo travel back to her village all the way in naija to do trad ceremonies even when the girl and her necessary family members live abroad in the same yankee.
These trips add to costs....costs that these same igbo people will want to IMPOSE on you to pay.

Are there actually igbo families out here who are pragmatic enough to not require these excessive movements?
Or is this something to pretty much expect from people from that part of Nigeria?

Serious answers only please.



I PITY UR TYPE, ALWAYS TAKING PANADOL OVER ANOTHER MAN, WAY OF LIFE.

NDIIGBO ARE TRUILY A GREAT PEOPLE, SO MUCH SO, THAT A FOREIGNER LIKE YOURSELF, WENT TO A FOREIGN LAND AND WITH ALL THE FOREIGN WOMEN OUT AND ABOUT, U ARE STILL FIXATED ON MY TRIBE.

Y NOT GO FOR WOMEN OF YOUR OWN TRIBE? HAUSA, YORUBA AND GHANA FULL AMERICA.
Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by Onuokwu: 10:38pm On Aug 14, 2018
2buffagain:
It would seem that of all tribes, igbo are the most geographically tied to their village.

We are in America. Yet All the igbo girls I know who marry require that she and her boo travel back to her village all the way in naija to do trad ceremonies even when the girl and her necessary family members live abroad in the same yankee.
These trips add to costs....costs that these same igbo people will want to IMPOSE on you to pay.

Are there actually igbo families out here who are pragmatic enough to not require these excessive movements?
Or is this something to pretty much expect from people from that part of Nigeria?

Serious answers only please.

This your post is pointless. Hypocrisy. If you wan marry Brazil woman and Dem say you need to come to Brazil, you will go there with a sheepish smile on your face. Punk.

If you can't make up the cash to go just launch an appeal fund. I might decide to help you if you behave.
Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by MissRaine69(f): 12:47am On Aug 15, 2018
princesweetman2:


Guess ur a/ibom or cal. wink

Don't ask me how I got it. tongue
Incorrect.
Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by EMMAUGOH(m): 1:25am On Aug 15, 2018
Even the sister of chiwetalu ejiofor. Born and brought up overseas still have to come back to Nigeria to perform her traditional rites. It may be her 2nd time of coming to Nigeria but her family knows the value of this tradition cos it's a moment of coming together and get to familiarize with people.

Op u can still get igbo girls who's families are indifferent about the so-called tradition but u must provide umunna requirements.

Unless you are poor and probably hate igbo culture at the same time then my advice is not for u.
Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by princesweetman2(m): 8:11am On Aug 15, 2018
MissRaine69:

Incorrect.

Aii dear
Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by ebonflexy(m): 2:40pm On Aug 24, 2018
IamLEGEND1:
When 10 or 20..... or even a hundred people tell me they prefer this way of doing things, I'll believe them..... but it still doesn't negate the existence of a side that would prefer not to do things this way. and a lot more others who exist in the gray area between these polar opposites.
your refusal to acknowledge this fact is what makes whatever argument you make extremely lopsided, and from this point forward, not worth my time.

You just sound prideful and silly the more and more you talk.

If the OP has not met this greyish area you speak of nko? You forget he is not in Nigeria.
His experience and knowledge of Igbo people could be based on the many igbo people he has engaged with AND what he reads about their culture.
If both those things align, then THAT IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF A PEOPLE to an outsider...and also the scientific equivalent of "Due Process".

You insulting the OP over his pretty much scientific observation makes you seem more stupid than you think. You just want to feel like you are insulting someone so you can feel accomplished, even if said insult has no point.

Notice how NOOO Igbo girl has come on to any of these multiple threads on the subject to say "Hey I don't want to do my own in a village".
Fawk your textbook/confirmation bias. It is a wide-spread igbotic thing, whether you admit it or not. The very PRECEPTS of igbos state that if you don't wed her in her village, something must be wrong.

If there are any "grey area" people as you have said, then they clearly hide and do not voice their grey area.
That is THEIR fault, not the OP's...as they've missed out on SEVERAL opportunities to advertize their group as anything else BUT backward minded traditionists...or cowards.
The reason they do not comment is because THEY KNOW it is true, and are too scared or not confident enough to publicly make a statement against the backwardness.

As far as I see on this and any other discussion on this subject, online or offline, the only igbotic people who voice anything on the subject are those that:

1)- Confirm the observation

2)- Confirm the observation by insults

3)- are male, Confirm the observation, and want to marry from elsewhere because of it. (This doesn't mean they won't still insist on it in the future when marrying off their own daughter...totally abolishing what it means to "Do onto others..."wink

Again drop the fawking ego and stop being fawking illogical just because you want to sound like some middle-ground person.

1 Like

Re: Igbo Girls And Families In Diaspora Should Just Marry Where They Are by Jaqenhghar: 2:52pm On Aug 24, 2018
pointblank247:
in igbo Land marriage is sacrade and if the union was not blessed by your village or KINDRED by participation, you are not Seen as married. They value their culture and tradition, you may be permited to have the traditional marriage thing in absentia, represented by your people, so it is not one rigid tradition but a way of ensuring that the right things are done. This is why its hard for an igbo lady to just relax with you and be having children with out the right thing done, though the indomie generation are less carefull
Is anything sacred in Niggeria? The only thing sacred in this shithole is money. Far more sacred than life. Most times these rites are done to go show off to the village people and others who may care.

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