The write-up is rather full of frustration instead of logical submissions. If the poster meant well he should have started by asking "why the tradition"
No tradition comes by chance or for fun. our tradition embodies our civilization. US doesn't have tradition (omenani) and that shouldn't be used to judge our society.

In Igboland marriage is not an just an "I love you" thing.Two people agreeing to marry is just the beginning of a process. proper background checks/spy must be conducted by the families of the intending couple, groups in the village notified, elders in the girls kindred conduct the main rite in the girl's family house, shortly before the main ceremony. Here traditional prayers and "libations" are poured for the land/ancestors to accept and bless the marriage too. therefore aside getting known by your people, there is an element of religion too as Igbos believe in land/home soil and its potency so much.If you don't believe in this important tradition, well, the girl you want to marry does. That is why marriage is best between people who share the same values. A man is always a man. The girl is the one who leaves her family to live with another man and family. Getting the nod of her kindred gives her union legitimacy, gives her a sense of support from them and peace in her marriage. it also puts the man on his toes. Any Igbo girl who knows her onion must get nod from the highest family authority before following a man as wife.

Armaggedon:
The write-up is rather full of frustration instead of logical submissions. If the poster meant well he should have started by asking "why the tradition"
No tradition comes by chance or for fun. our tradition embodies our civilization. US doesn't have tradition (omenani) and that shouldn't be used to judge our society.

In Igboland marriage is not an just an "I love you" thing.Two people agreeing to marry is just the beginning of a process. proper background checks/spy must be conducted by the families of the intending couple, groups in the village notified, elders in the girls kindred conduct the main rite in the girl's family house, shortly before the main ceremony. Here traditional prayers and "libations" are poured for the land/ancestors to accept and bless the marriage too. therefore aside getting known by your people, there is an element of religion too as Igbos believe in land/home soil and its potency so much.If you don't believe in this important tradition, well, the girl you want to marry does. That is why marriage is best between people who share the same values. A man is always a man. The girl is the one who leaves her family to live with another man and family. Getting the nod of her kindred gives her union legitimacy, gives her a sense of support from them and peace in her marriage. it also puts the man on his toes. Any Igbo girl who knows her onion must get nod from the highest family authority before following a man as wife.

See that's just it, I have no interest in these "ancestors" you speak of, because your "actual" ancestors are not hearing them. Other things are though. My marriage (not just wedding) will have nothing to do with the "blessings" of strange spirits whose origin do not align with mine.
All these things are mostly fetish and I expect better from the self-proclaimed christians I would be marrying.
I pray to God alone.

2buffagain:


See that's just it, I have no interest in these "ancestors" you speak of, because your "actual" ancestors are not hearing them. Other things are though. My marriage (not just wedding) will have nothing to do with the "blessings" of strange spirits whose origin do not align with mine.
All these things are mostly fetish and I expect better from the self-proclaimed christians I would be marrying.
I pray to God alone.

That settles it. if you have no interest in that then you have no interest in marrying her. That is a perfect reason to marry someone you share same values with. men who marry today and divorce tomorrow also "pray to God alone" as you do. men who abuse, maltreat, beat up their wives, keep concubines and even keep secret second wives all claim they "pray to God alone" like you do. You see? its not about who prays to God alone, Its about adhering to our traditional system and culture which encourages happy, stable and strong marriage. The truth remains that people find reasons to run away from commitments. again I didn't mention "strange spirits", that's your understanding. Getting blessings from ones home as of old testament Israel has nothing to do with being "fettish". just like throwing away your values has nothing to do with civilization as the white brainwash AA to think. many africans and other brainwashed half-whites think that bride price is bad but love engagement rings!

Again, the Igbos believe in keeping ani clean. blessings and curses can be laid through the land to a people as recorded in many places in the Bible. it is denial not acknowledge it.

Most people here complaining are not even Igbo....igbo guys that want to marry wouldn't even complain and the ladies know the man and what makes a man in Igbo land is His worth....he must respect the tradition

If you want anyhow marriage ...marry other tribes . Good things don't come cheap

Stop cruig like a canary

2buffagain:


At least if they choose to finance this urge to showoff with their own money, including financing the transportation of all extended people. It would be their prerogative.

But when they insist on financing their excessives with the groom's resources, that's just sad.

Most people here complaining are not even Igbo....igbo guys that want to marry wouldn't even complain and the ladies know the man and what makes a man in Igbo land is His worth....he must respect the tradition

If you want anyhow marriage ...marry other tribes . Good things don't come cheap

Stop cruig like a canary