That's why it is ideal to marry someone that is mature. As long it is not abortion that caused the problem the lady had. I will simply understand that nature took it's toll on her and she was just a ashamed to let me know.

[quote author=Duru009 post=71179770]There is more to this lies than you are telling us here Madam ![/quote

Please tell us the truth? Some of you 're really silly,how do you know it's not true? Because it doesn't suit your narrative?

oh no

First it'd a sad one but I can't blame your husband for his reaction. If u have to quite your job then get something doing cos financial issue may set in later and u won't even dam his decision any longer... No hungry man is a friend... Lastly he still loves you deeply he is just hurt... When ever he is around don't jump around and start feeling happy till he does cos he will think u are not bothered.... Don't involve families into the matter yet it is your marriage try to fix it and pray hard... Family inclusion may change his mindset to something undesirable afterall he still eat your food and have sex with once even if later is not frequent.... Give him time he will be calm

Kiishii:
I don't even know how to start, I'm really sad and i know it is my fault, i'm sorry if it's a long read i need advise please bear with me.

When i was still single at age 29, I left a relationship that turned out be a mistake so it took time before i met someone else, at age 31 I noticed changes in my period (one month off, one month on) it has never happened to me before so i didnt take it to be anything, then it started skipping 2 months at a roll, then 3 months, i became worried cos i wasn't sexualy active at all. During this period i met my husband and we started something serious, to be on a safe side i went to see the doctor, he said i was fine that it's hormonal changes, he gave me some drugs (mostly vitamins) but it was still skipping, when my husband proposed, i went back to the doctor, he did series of tests, when results came out he said i'm having symptoms of POF, i was shocked, i cried and cried cos it's unheard of for someone my age, i told him i'm about to get married what can i do he said i should start taking hormonal injections since it's too early to be POF, i started taking it and praying all will be fine, all this while i didnt say a word of this to my husband to be or anyone else, then we got married, i took in immediately, it was the happiest day of my life, when we discovered it was triplets i cried tears of joy to the extent that my husband wondered why i was soo happy, i gave birth to 2 boys and a girl, i really thank God for his faithfulness cos i was soo nervous during the pregnancy.

My period was still skipping, then this year march it stopped completely, i went to see 2 different doctors to be sure, they confirmed i have POF (early menopause), i cried and still thank God cos he blessed me with the fruit of the womb but i couldnt bring myself to tell my husband, then he started noticing i dont buy sanitary pad anymore, he asked thinking i was pregnant i always tell him no, at a point he had to ask me if i want to make the pregnancy a surprise, that was when i knew it's time to tell him the truth, i knelt down and told him everything, i held nothing back, he was shocked that i could do something like that to him, he said i should have told him before we got married, i told him he wouldnt have married me if i told him, he was angry, he said what if the hormonal injections didnt work, it was an expensive and wicked gamble, i told him it worked that's what matters now, he abused me and walked out of the house, he didnt come home till the next day, since then things have never been the same.

He hardly talks to me except when necessary, we dont gist and joke anymore, i always beg and beg him, he says he's forgiven me but he goes back to his moody self, we hardly make love anymore, when he finally does, he doesnt look at my face, now he wants me to quit my job so i'll have my full attention on the kids, recently we had a fight about it and i told him point blank i cant quit my job the kids are fine he said i must do that, he doesnt want anything happening to them since i'm no more fertile, who says that? I cried my eyes out that night, It's not my fault nature took it's course on me, i never imagined something like this would ever happen to me.

Now he doesn't talk to me at all anymore, i'm about to tell both our families everything cos i've begged and begged him and i'm tired, i want anonymous advise that's why i'm here, please please married men and women or whoever, how do i go about this?

Well the deed is done, and I m grateful to God on your behalf that he blessed you with Triplet once and for all. This our God is a miracle worker and he has already won this battle for you and your husband before he could know about it, i mean triplet for someone with such abnormality is nothing short of pure miracle.

Your husband is only naive of what God has done for him as outcome of such incident has destroyed alot of men. I know of an Uncle of mine whose wife has this same abnormality but never got to know until about 40 years of marriage when the wife confessed she entered menopause at early age after all its obvious already she was over the age to conceive. They are both loving educated people of those years in the 60s and was hoping and praying on God to bless the marriage not knowing the wife has a despicable secret never revealed to him while he was seriously faithful to her. I dont really know how she managed to skip through usual medical test in those early years, but it could happen though as Nigeria is not really medically that advance in those years and even till now a deceitful wife could skip through medical test to deceive their husband on such secret.

In a nut shell, my uncle is now in his 80s and his first child is less than 10 years old from a younger wife who now has 3 kids for him, the painful part is that he will not be able to give the best to those kids like he would like to, he has been retired from civil service close to 20 years and we all know what that mean in Nigeria of today.
Woman has ruined his life, its a bitter fact he has managed to live with for that long and for the rest of his existence and I do wonder how he was so calm not to have taken necessary action way long before now, who knows the kind of potent charm the wife has subjected him through for decades. This is one story that rings the regular saying to my hearing that After God, the fear of Woman is paramount.

I will want you to reveal this to your husband and make him see reasons both of you should be at the fore front in giving praise to God as his case is not going this way and you have not been made a vessel to destroy his life.
This Life is full of miseries, things has been happening not today.

Homeboiy:
young girls una dey see am so

Marry on time but una go dey form say u can't marry a man wey no de earn 200k


Well I already know that any man wey dey marry woman wey don pass 30yrs Na rescue mission he go so


It's like buying newspaper in the evening

Wey no de earn up to 200k ke??
Even 400k, you de learn for those gold diggers hand.
If you're earning 200k in Lagos, you can't have a car, and be residing in a decent apartment at the same time.

Kiishii:
I don't even know how to start, I'm really sad and i know it is my fault, i'm sorry if it's a long read i need advise please bear with me.

When i was still single at age 29, I left a relationship that turned out be a mistake so it took time before i met someone else, at age 31 I noticed changes in my period (one month off, one month on) it has never happened to me before so i didnt take it to be anything, then it started skipping 2 months at a roll, then 3 months, i became worried cos i wasn't sexualy active at all. During this period i met my husband and we started something serious, to be on a safe side i went to see the doctor, he said i was fine that it's hormonal changes, he gave me some drugs (mostly vitamins) but it was still skipping, when my husband proposed, i went back to the doctor, he did series of tests, when results came out he said i'm having symptoms of POF, i was shocked, i cried and cried cos it's unheard of for someone my age, i told him i'm about to get married what can i do he said i should start taking hormonal injections since it's too early to be POF, i started taking it and praying all will be fine, all this while i didnt say a word of this to my husband to be or anyone else, then we got married, i took in immediately, it was the happiest day of my life, when we discovered it was triplets i cried tears of joy to the extent that my husband wondered why i was soo happy, i gave birth to 2 boys and a girl, i really thank God for his faithfulness cos i was soo nervous during the pregnancy.

My period was still skipping, then this year march it stopped completely, i went to see 2 different doctors to be sure, they confirmed i have POF (early menopause), i cried and still thank God cos he blessed me with the fruit of the womb but i couldnt bring myself to tell my husband, then he started noticing i dont buy sanitary pad anymore, he asked thinking i was pregnant i always tell him no, at a point he had to ask me if i want to make the pregnancy a surprise, that was when i knew it's time to tell him the truth, i knelt down and told him everything, i held nothing back, he was shocked that i could do something like that to him, he said i should have told him before we got married, i told him he wouldnt have married me if i told him, he was angry, he said what if the hormonal injections didnt work, it was an expensive and wicked gamble, i told him it worked that's what matters now, he abused me and walked out of the house, he didnt come home till the next day, since then things have never been the same.

He hardly talks to me except when necessary, we dont gist and joke anymore, i always beg and beg him, he says he's forgiven me but he goes back to his moody self, we hardly make love anymore, when he finally does, he doesnt look at my face, now he wants me to quit my job so i'll have my full attention on the kids, recently we had a fight about it and i told him point blank i cant quit my job the kids are fine he said i must do that, he doesnt want anything happening to them since i'm no more fertile, who says that? I cried my eyes out that night, It's not my fault nature took it's course on me, i never imagined something like this would ever happen to me.

Now he doesn't talk to me at all anymore, i'm about to tell both our families everything cos i've begged and begged him and i'm tired, i want anonymous advise that's why i'm here, please please married men and women or whoever, how do i go about this?

This story looks fake.
Cuz the OP joined today.

Well for now u can do everything possible to convince ur husband to allow u keep ur job (especially if the Family needs the money).....U can find a new job later...

Also give him time to forgive u completely, He will come around. What u hid from him was serious.

I have zero atom of pity for you. I hope he dumps your lying ass and moves on.. Because he deserves more than a lying and deceitful wife. If you lied about that, how many more does he have to uncover?

I so much detest dishonest partners.. Any partnership built on dishonesty is headed for the rocks.

Xaos:
I don't want to say anything hurtful but I have to. Ma'am your husband is being a jerk. You guys are bless with three beautiful kids - is there anything greater than this?! Yes, you gambled. It's a wicked thing but it's in the past and it worked BTW. So he need to grow up and forgive you. Just carry on and tell your in-laws. All will be well.

... as I set even if my wife give me one I go thank God well well no to talk of 3. Him wan born 12 ?

BENEAMATA:
Though it's your side of the story , of which you , yourself admit your error by concealing such a weighty issue from your then fiance and later on husband , i still think your husband will be one fella that anyone should not offend judging by what the mother of his three kids is going through from his hand . But i pause to think here what you poor lady must have gone through when this awful news was broken to you ! I mean how does a young lady of 40 , never mind just 31 years handle such crushing realisation that she might be barren just when marriage is on the horizon ? If she owns up and the guy bolts , he not only loses him , what caused the cancellation of the fast approaching wedding may also be public news , double jeopardy that'll be . And remember how long before she started another relationship after her last one , two years that is , which shows she is not one to jump into relationships . So let us understand her dilemma , - when will she recover from the heartbreak of being dumped 'cos of infertility issue to start a new relationship ? Will the next guy not also dump her ? As her enormously slim chances of concieving whittle down by each month with suitors running away , will a seeminly decent girl who hardly jumps into a relationship finds herself jumping from one man's bed to the other in a DESEPERATE , last ditch attempt to get pregnant before the curtains fall on her biological stage which as she feared , it ultimately did much sooner ? How about risk of STDs all in a bid to be a mother ? See , my poor lady , just as i can't sympathise enough with what you went and is still going through , i can only pray the almighty who wiped your tears with triplets to wade into this matter as a divine councellor and mediator that he is as i can't find words to advise you with , sorry , this your story really got to me . It is well with your home , amen .

Bro, I like this mhen. Thanks for encouraging the sister. You hit reality no be small.

Me sef think and hope the husband will try to forget about it. Unfortunately, I think I've got this her husband kind trait, God helping me.

Thanks again bro. Your write-up made my day

A lot have been discussed here but what I know is that the worse thing that can even happen to someone is to take relationship/marriage advice from all the feminists.

I don't know why I have a feeling that there's more to this story. I know that if your husband comes to share his own part of the story, many of us will marvel.

Anyway, it's your cross so you should carry it. There's already breach of trust and confidence in your marriage and you have find to way to settle with your husband..

Concerning the issue of quitting your job, it's a risky thing to do and unfortunately, you will never find happiness in that home if you keep dragging with this man that you're never going to quit. That's just the bitter truth.

At this point, I think the only way forward is either sacrifice your job for the sake of your marriage or involve elders in this matter.

Homeboiy:
young girls una dey see am so

Marry on time but una go dey form say u can't marry a man wey no de earn 200k


Well I already know that any man wey dey marry woman wey don pass 30yrs Na rescue mission he go so


It's like buying newspaper in the evening

Jerk comment �

The thing with opening an earlier kept secret is that the person on the receiving end will be blown away to wonderland. He or she will automatically feel unsafe like a stranger in a strange place. Insecurity will set in and trust shattered.
Just pray to wateva God u serve for divine intervention.
If any woman ever tries to dciv me into marriage for selfish reasons, it's over cos pipo like that can poison their partners to death.
U r wicked n self centered sha. That's the truth.
U wanted to get married but u never cared abt his own happiness. U never gave him a chance to decide for himself. U silenced him. U can actually still silence him again wen push comes to shove and that's scary for him.
Just do wateva he says now to regain his trust. If he wants u to suffer to pay for ur sins, then obey since u already got ur wish "marriage, hubby n kids".
Dnt add money or job to ur wish list now as that will really show how ruthlessly ambitious and self centered u r.

How old are you truly? Is there anyway you can prove your age other than birth certificate he can see? You need to get him to know that you think he has doubt about you real age and you can prove that you are truthful about it. Stop begging and be rational.

Also assure him of your fidelity as he may have issues with it if you are permanently safe to say.

You can still get pregnant after menopause so don't think you are done.

Kiishii:
I don't even know how to start, I'm really sad and i know it is my fault, i'm sorry if it's a long read i need advise please bear with me.

When i was still single at age 29, I left a relationship that turned out be a mistake so it took time before i met someone else, at age 31 I noticed changes in my period (one month off, one month on) it has never happened to me before so i didnt take it to be anything, then it started skipping 2 months at a roll, then 3 months, i became worried cos i wasn't sexualy active at all. During this period i met my husband and we started something serious, to be on a safe side i went to see the doctor, he said i was fine that it's hormonal changes, he gave me some drugs (mostly vitamins) but it was still skipping, when my husband proposed, i went back to the doctor, he did series of tests, when results came out he said i'm having symptoms of POF, i was shocked, i cried and cried cos it's unheard of for someone my age, i told him i'm about to get married what can i do he said i should start taking hormonal injections since it's too early to be POF, i started taking it and praying all will be fine, all this while i didnt say a word of this to my husband to be or anyone else, then we got married, i took in immediately, it was the happiest day of my life, when we discovered it was triplets i cried tears of joy to the extent that my husband wondered why i was soo happy, i gave birth to 2 boys and a girl, i really thank God for his faithfulness cos i was soo nervous during the pregnancy.

My period was still skipping, then this year march it stopped completely, i went to see 2 different doctors to be sure, they confirmed i have POF (early menopause), i cried and still thank God cos he blessed me with the fruit of the womb but i couldnt bring myself to tell my husband, then he started noticing i dont buy sanitary pad anymore, he asked thinking i was pregnant i always tell him no, at a point he had to ask me if i want to make the pregnancy a surprise, that was when i knew it's time to tell him the truth, i knelt down and told him everything, i held nothing back, he was shocked that i could do something like that to him, he said i should have told him before we got married, i told him he wouldnt have married me if i told him, he was angry, he said what if the hormonal injections didnt work, it was an expensive and wicked gamble, i told him it worked that's what matters now, he abused me and walked out of the house, he didnt come home till the next day, since then things have never been the same.

He hardly talks to me except when necessary, we dont gist and joke anymore, i always beg and beg him, he says he's forgiven me but he goes back to his moody self, we hardly make love anymore, when he finally does, he doesnt look at my face, now he wants me to quit my job so i'll have my full attention on the kids, recently we had a fight about it and i told him point blank i cant quit my job the kids are fine he said i must do that, he doesnt want anything happening to them since i'm no more fertile, who says that? I cried my eyes out that night, It's not my fault nature took it's course on me, i never imagined something like this would ever happen to me.

Now he doesn't talk to me at all anymore, i'm about to tell both our families everything cos i've begged and begged him and i'm tired, i want anonymous advise that's why i'm here, please please married men and women or whoever, how do i go about this?

@OP, well, if that's any comfort, around 95% of women would have done what you did. Most are so frightened of losing the chance to get married, especially at that age and waiting for long previously.

That said you began your marriage with a very fat lie. What he thinks now is what if you had a very serious disease? What if he had married you just two years later? Would you have told him of the disease and would you both ever have had any kids at all? So he's rightly outraged, disappointed and angry. He cannot now even imagine how many other secrets you have kept away from him.

On that ground, depending on jurisdiction, he might be able to annul the marriage. Like it never happened at all. Because his consent to marry you was based on deception and therefore never should have happened at all.

On the other hand, lots of people have only two to three kids these days. How many was the man hoping to have? Did you both ever discuss that?

Well at this point there's not much you can do.

His demand that you quit your job is still part of his reaction to the shock of what you told him. You will have noticed that he has probably become slightly over-protective of the children. He wants the best for them.

However thoroughly review family finances. How will his income only cater for the family, especially as the kids grow older and school fees come into the mix? What about the fulfillment, sense of accomplishment and self-esteem your job gives you? How will you cope emotionally and psychologically if you lose all that?

To allay his fear about kids welfare, can you work more flexibly or do part-time in your current role?

I disagree with suggestions by some here on Nairaland that he's set to break you, humiliate you or punish you by asking you to quit. Far from it. He's simply trying to put things in perspective. Seeming to now feel that money is not everything. He might be feeling "let's cherish the children we have. We could easily have ended up having none naturally".

Before you go telling both families, ensure it won't anger him even more. Maybe you can involve his mentor (if he has one), or someone like a pastor.
Keep being a good partner and hope his heart softens with time.

Three children don do na haba

Xaos:
I don't want to say anything hurtful but I have to. Ma'am your husband is being a jerk. You guys are bless with three beautiful kids - is there anything greater than this?! Yes, you gambled. It's a wicked thing but it's in the past and it worked BTW. So he need to grow up and forgive you. Just carry on and tell your in-laws. All will be well.

ovo12:
... as I set even if my wife give me one I go thank God well well no to talk of 3. Him wan born 12 ?

Speak for yourself.

Kiishii:
I don't even know how to start, I'm really sad and i know it is my fault, i'm sorry if it's a long read i need advise please bear with me.

When i was still single at age 29, I left a relationship that turned out be a mistake so it took time before i met someone else, at age 31 I noticed changes in my period (one month off, one month on) it has never happened to me before so i didnt take it to be anything, then it started skipping 2 months at a roll, then 3 months, i became worried cos i wasn't sexualy active at all. During this period i met my husband and we started something serious, to be on a safe side i went to see the doctor, he said i was fine that it's hormonal changes, he gave me some drugs (mostly vitamins) but it was still skipping, when my husband proposed, i went back to the doctor, he did series of tests, when results came out he said i'm having symptoms of POF, i was shocked, i cried and cried cos it's unheard of for someone my age, i told him i'm about to get married what can i do he said i should start taking hormonal injections since it's too early to be POF, i started taking it and praying all will be fine, all this while i didnt say a word of this to my husband to be or anyone else, then we got married, i took in immediately, it was the happiest day of my life, when we discovered it was triplets i cried tears of joy to the extent that my husband wondered why i was soo happy, i gave birth to 2 boys and a girl, i really thank God for his faithfulness cos i was soo nervous during the pregnancy.

My period was still skipping, then this year march it stopped completely, i went to see 2 different doctors to be sure, they confirmed i have POF (early menopause), i cried and still thank God cos he blessed me with the fruit of the womb but i couldnt bring myself to tell my husband, then he started noticing i dont buy sanitary pad anymore, he asked thinking i was pregnant i always tell him no, at a point he had to ask me if i want to make the pregnancy a surprise, that was when i knew it's time to tell him the truth, i knelt down and told him everything, i held nothing back, he was shocked that i could do something like that to him, he said i should have told him before we got married, i told him he wouldnt have married me if i told him, he was angry, he said what if the hormonal injections didnt work, it was an expensive and wicked gamble, i told him it worked that's what matters now, he abused me and walked out of the house, he didnt come home till the next day, since then things have never been the same.

He hardly talks to me except when necessary, we dont gist and joke anymore, i always beg and beg him, he says he's forgiven me but he goes back to his moody self, we hardly make love anymore, when he finally does, he doesnt look at my face, now he wants me to quit my job so i'll have my full attention on the kids, recently we had a fight about it and i told him point blank i cant quit my job the kids are fine he said i must do that, he doesnt want anything happening to them since i'm no more fertile, who says that? I cried my eyes out that night, It's not my fault nature took it's course on me, i never imagined something like this would ever happen to me.

Now he doesn't talk to me at all anymore, i'm about to tell both our families everything cos i've begged and begged him and i'm tired, i want anonymous advise that's why i'm here, please please married men and women or whoever, how do i go about this?

It still baffles me how people can't easily discern a Super Story, the imagination of a writer.

Well, we are pencils in the hand of our creator.

Next story madam...

In my opinion I think he's just really mad because you kept it secret. In his mind he's now like assuming kids never came we would be casting and binding. Going for prayers from morning till night, fasting and praying. People might even say he's the weaker one and maybe his not man enough.

The gambling on your side was a lot, but it paid off. That also will be on his mind that you are a risk taker and can do anything, which will make him ask himself is there any other surprises?

Marriage in my opinion is how well things can be patched up if there break down in communications. In my opinion he still got soo much love for you but he's in poker face mode now because he's feeling very vulnerable, so he will be showing his hand Lil by Lil rather than coming back all in.

Just work on been the best wife you can be, surprise from a financial angle starting a small mini hustle. He will have no choice but to come back to you fully. Time is the best healer

Xaos:
I don't want to say anything hurtful but I have to. Ma'am your husband is being a jerk. You guys are bless with three beautiful kids - is there anything greater than this?! Yes, you gambled. It's a wicked thing but it's in the past and it worked BTW. So he need to grow up and forgive you. Just carry on and tell your in-laws. All will be well.

Can you just imagine what a man with balls between his legs wrote? This is very very poor! It is the husband, who was clearly deceived that is now being a jerk? See, men like this poster are the reason quality of women commitment to marriage keeps getting lower and lower! You are the one that is being a jerk! Woman wrapper, irresponsible adviser.

As for OP, get on your knees, involve a pastor he truly respects. Understand with your husband, you truly hurt that man and he is still hurting! You are the one in the wrong!

Kinggnicole:

Lol..were you expecting me to give the cliche Nigerian wife "pray that God touches his heart" advice?

I say it again! She has to leave if it gets to that point. From the write up above, her husband is outright disrespectful and obviously doesn't care about her needs and wants. Imagine telling her to stay and take care of the children so that nothing happens to them since she knows she's not fertile. How insensitive!

OP apologise to him again(if you need to because this is an issue of trust and is quite sensitive too) but tell him squarely that you are not quitting your job. Also give him some more time. If he's not budging , you know what to do.

A lesbian tactfully nudging her to leave, so when she becomes lonely, she can swoop in and start sleeping with her. If you know, you know!

Kinggnicole:
You were wrong and you apologised.
I just hope you are not considering quiting your job. He's already rubbing it in your face that you are not fertile. Imagine adding jobless to the mix. He'll rub that in too forgetting he asked you to leave.

He's already abusing you emotionally. You have to be strong dear. And by being strong you have to know when to leave.

how can u just use the word LEAVE easily in this scenario. THIS IS MARRIAGE WE ARE TALKING ABOUT.

Kiishii:
I don't even know how to start, I'm really sad and i know it is my fault, i'm sorry if it's a long read i need advise please bear with me.

When i was still single at age 29, I left a relationship that turned out be a mistake so it took time before i met someone else, at age 31 I noticed changes in my period (one month off, one month on) it has never happened to me before so i didnt take it to be anything, then it started skipping 2 months at a roll, then 3 months, i became worried cos i wasn't sexualy active at all. During this period i met my husband and we started something serious, to be on a safe side i went to see the doctor, he said i was fine that it's hormonal changes, he gave me some drugs (mostly vitamins) but it was still skipping, when my husband proposed, i went back to the doctor, he did series of tests, when results came out he said i'm having symptoms of POF, i was shocked, i cried and cried cos it's unheard of for someone my age, i told him i'm about to get married what can i do he said i should start taking hormonal injections since it's too early to be POF, i started taking it and praying all will be fine, all this while i didnt say a word of this to my husband to be or anyone else, then we got married, i took in immediately, it was the happiest day of my life, when we discovered it was triplets i cried tears of joy to the extent that my husband wondered why i was soo happy, i gave birth to 2 boys and a girl, i really thank God for his faithfulness cos i was soo nervous during the pregnancy.

My period was still skipping, then this year march it stopped completely, i went to see 2 different doctors to be sure, they confirmed i have POF (early menopause), i cried and still thank God cos he blessed me with the fruit of the womb but i couldnt bring myself to tell my husband, then he started noticing i dont buy sanitary pad anymore, he asked thinking i was pregnant i always tell him no, at a point he had to ask me if i want to make the pregnancy a surprise, that was when i knew it's time to tell him the truth, i knelt down and told him everything, i held nothing back, he was shocked that i could do something like that to him, he said i should have told him before we got married, i told him he wouldnt have married me if i told him, he was angry, he said what if the hormonal injections didnt work, it was an expensive and wicked gamble, i told him it worked that's what matters now, he abused me and walked out of the house, he didnt come home till the next day, since then things have never been the same.

He hardly talks to me except when necessary, we dont gist and joke anymore, i always beg and beg him, he says he's forgiven me but he goes back to his moody self, we hardly make love anymore, when he finally does, he doesnt look at my face, now he wants me to quit my job so i'll have my full attention on the kids, recently we had a fight about it and i told him point blank i cant quit my job the kids are fine he said i must do that, he doesnt want anything happening to them since i'm no more fertile, who says that? I cried my eyes out that night, It's not my fault nature took it's course on me, i never imagined something like this would ever happen to me.

Now he doesn't talk to me at all anymore, i'm about to tell both our families everything cos i've begged and begged him and i'm tired, i want anonymous advise that's why i'm here, please please married men and women or whoever, how do i go about this?

All I can say is Plsssss don't quit your job for anything, if the marriage want to crash let it be, bcus if u quit ur job the maltreatment will be unbearable dis one that he has started saying u r not fertile. he just want to cut your feather and abuse u more dats y he said u shld quit, but don't. more over you already have three children what else does he want or he want 11 under this administration? that he won't be able to cater for?

Wilfredpat22:
The truth is that you deceived him. Well we all deceive men one way or the other. You started dating when you were 29, what happened between 21-28, you were sleeping around with married men I guess

This is as a repercussion for the evils you must have done in school and to other women’s homes. Now yours will be shattered. We ladies don’t hear or listen and eventually it will lead to our downfall


Let your husband look for some one fertile and responsible. By the way Are you sure those kids are his?

Haba madam, she is already going through a lot in her head. If u cant type something good, just dont type at all, haba

mukhcech:


Speak for yourself.

You 're the one blind enough not to notice he spoke for himself. He said as I dey naw....did you see that part?

This is a very serious situation. I just keep wondering what we called love is actually one because true love is supposed to be unconditional.
The woman in question actually goofed. For this reason, the husband has every right to be angry but really love does not see someone you love sad and you still insist. May God spare the lives of those babies. Three babies: two big boys and a beautiful baby girl - this is a complete set of blessings.
Madam, God did a miracle for you with those babies and I'm sure God loves you and won't leave you alone. Tell God everything and relax your mind. He will take perfect charge. Don't resign please and be a beggar with someone that doesn't want to see your face for now.
God will help all of us, amen.

Kinggnicole:

Lol..were you expecting me to give the cliche Nigerian wife "pray that God touches his heart" advice?

I say it again! She has to leave if it gets to that point. From the write up above, her husband is outright disrespectful and obviously doesn't care about her needs and wants. Imagine telling her to stay and take care of the children so that nothing happens to them since she knows she's not fertile. How insensitive!

OP apologise to him again(if you need to because this is an issue of trust and is quite sensitive too) but tell him squarely that you are not quitting your job. Also give him some more time. If he's not budging , you know what to do.

op don't take advice from this kind of people, these are the type of women that put their ego before their relationship

Kiishii:
I don't even know how to start, I'm really sad and i know it is my fault, i'm sorry if it's a long read i need advise please bear with me.

When i was still single at age 29, I left a relationship that turned out be a mistake so it took time before i met someone else, at age 31 I noticed changes in my period (one month off, one month on) it has never happened to me before so i didnt take it to be anything, then it started skipping 2 months at a roll, then 3 months, i became worried cos i wasn't sexualy active at all. During this period i met my husband and we started something serious, to be on a safe side i went to see the doctor, he said i was fine that it's hormonal changes, he gave me some drugs (mostly vitamins) but it was still skipping, when my husband proposed, i went back to the doctor, he did series of tests, when results came out he said i'm having symptoms of POF, i was shocked, i cried and cried cos it's unheard of for someone my age, i told him i'm about to get married what can i do he said i should start taking hormonal injections since it's too early to be POF, i started taking it and praying all will be fine, all this while i didnt say a word of this to my husband to be or anyone else, then we got married, i took in immediately, it was the happiest day of my life, when we discovered it was triplets i cried tears of joy to the extent that my husband wondered why i was soo happy, i gave birth to 2 boys and a girl, i really thank God for his faithfulness cos i was soo nervous during the pregnancy.

My period was still skipping, then this year march it stopped completely, i went to see 2 different doctors to be sure, they confirmed i have POF (early menopause), i cried and still thank God cos he blessed me with the fruit of the womb but i couldnt bring myself to tell my husband, then he started noticing i dont buy sanitary pad anymore, he asked thinking i was pregnant i always tell him no, at a point he had to ask me if i want to make the pregnancy a surprise, that was when i knew it's time to tell him the truth, i knelt down and told him everything, i held nothing back, he was shocked that i could do something like that to him, he said i should have told him before we got married, i told him he wouldnt have married me if i told him, he was angry, he said what if the hormonal injections didnt work, it was an expensive and wicked gamble, i told him it worked that's what matters now, he abused me and walked out of the house, he didnt come home till the next day, since then things have never been the same.

He hardly talks to me except when necessary, we dont gist and joke anymore, i always beg and beg him, he says he's forgiven me but he goes back to his moody self, we hardly make love anymore, when he finally does, he doesnt look at my face, now he wants me to quit my job so i'll have my full attention on the kids, recently we had a fight about it and i told him point blank i cant quit my job the kids are fine he said i must do that, he doesnt want anything happening to them since i'm no more fertile, who says that? I cried my eyes out that night, It's not my fault nature took it's course on me, i never imagined something like this would ever happen to me.

Now he doesn't talk to me at all anymore, i'm about to tell both our families everything cos i've begged and begged him and i'm tired, i want anonymous advise that's why i'm here, please please married men and women or whoever, how do i go about this?

you are bless, don't. quite your job else that man there will use you as his carpet when you are financially broke. Pray to God for strength to withstand every challenges ur husband has to bring.
Thank God for your children

henryhemon:


You 're the one blind enough not to notice he spoke for himself. He said as I dey naw....did you see that part?

Shu. Kila gbe kile ju. YOU GET EARLY MORNING SICKNESS.

Biglittlelois:
Things are happening in marriages ooo, me i'm here to learn, so early menopause is for real!! God help women.

Doctors in the house, is there any way to prevent this POF, early menopause thing


Lalasticlala, what do you think?

You can keep your ovaries in the hospital now till when it is needed. Encourage your boyfriend too to safe his sperm.

Femsyn:
Hmm. Are you sure there isn't more to this? Cos I find his reaction way overboard.

You have three kids already, don't you?

Who gives birth to more than 3 children these days sef?

PS.: With this insensitive attitude of his, never ever leave your job. OK?

I wonder oo after three kids!!! Madam do not overstress yourself jare, that brother needs to chill and relax. Stop begging and act normal, watch him come back to his senses. In fact he should support you for having that condition, nobody prays for it.

Mac2016:
This is a very serious situation. I just keep wondering what we called love is actually one because true love is supposed to be unconditional.
The woman in question actually goofed. For this reason, the husband has every right to be angry but really love does not see someone you love sad and you still insist. May God spare the lives of those babies. Three babies: two big boys and a beautiful baby girl - this is a complete set of blessings.
Madam, God did a miracle for you with those babies and I'm sure God loves you and won't leave you alone. Tell God everything and relax your mind. He will take perfect charge. Don't resign please and be a beggar with someone that doesn't want to see your face for now.
God will help all of us, amen.

This was exactly what I was going to type after reading. There is hardly any real (unconditional) love out there. People just look out for their best interests in marriages.
I am almost certain that this guy won't have gone ahead with the wedding if she opened up. She knew this and she took her chances in her best interest.