okeyfineboy:
Your write up is so biased. Why should it be only the lady that will guard her marriage? So the men should misbehave while the lady should forgive all in the name of remain Mrs.? You have an archaic way of thinking. It takes two to tango. Stop making men feel too important and misbehave just because they feel they have more advantage if the marriage leads to divorce.

I have seen women who are exceedingly successful and very much okay after divorce. I even know some that are still very selective of men coming from their hand in marriage even after having kids in their previous marriage. I know some who refused to get married because they feel they are better off without a man. A woman's life does not revolve around man, stop making it look so.

You know one funny thing.

I have come to grow beyond hypocrisy and I'm not the type who seeks likes or admiration from any lady hence the reason why I create the threads you see on front page.

What correlation does the fact that a divorced lady is successful has to do with her emotional state? You must really be very ignorant.

Most of these very successful divorced women are crying in silence which is why association of sweet boys are having a swell time with them.

Some women say they are better off without a man yet secretly sleeps about so who is fooling Who?

Go to dating sites and you will be amazed at the number of divorced ladies their but when you see them one on one you won't have a clue of what they go through.

I'm not interested in pulling any gender down but I'm just keeping it real.

Chi59:

Still a bucket load of baloney.
Why don't you just go and get married?
Uncle know-it-all, practice what you preach.

I just enjoy the cluelessness of the "go and marry crew"

Who puts this guy's stuff up on the front page?
What does he stand for?

Toks2008:


I just enjoy the cluelessness of the "go and marry crew"

Sermon's over. Say the grace.
You're 42. I'm 23.
By far you are older.
Don't tell me that you haven't found an older, submissive, lady to settle down with.
Oh I forgot, no one really wants old school anymore.

Chi59:


Sermon's over. Say the grace.
You're 42. I'm 23.
By far you are older.
Don't tell me that you haven't found an older, submissive, lady to settle down with.
Oh I forgot, no one really wants old school anymore.

And I have been fooling myself thinking you are old enough to understand this thread. I know age is not maturity but this thread is too deep for you at this point in your life.

Herrmes:
Who puts this guy's stuff up on the front page?
What does he stand for?

Can you explain your cryptic signature please?

Omotayor123:

True!
I pray God choose the right partner for us. our flesh and bones insha Allah!

...
. Honestly marriage is not an easy thing to do , let alone to remain in it, ..

one thing I know for sure is Nobody goes into marriage with the intention of leaving it someday ...


nice one Tee, ..
by the way are you a Muslim?

Toks2008:


Tayo I agree but you must understand that the way the world sees a male divorcee is not the same with the female.

In 8 out of 10 cases,a male divorcee with children could still marry a never married lady with no child while a female divorcee with children will most likely end up with a widower, a married man or a male divorcee with children while never married guys mostly do hit and run.

Only young female divorcees without children are likely to be luckier.

Please do not say "The world", rather say Africans especially Nigerians. It is because of the so much importance Nigerians attach to marriage that makes most Nigerian ladies behave as if their sole purpose of being on Earth is to get married.
You see a very young girl, in stead of her to be thinking of how to build a career and be productive like her male counterparts, all she thinks about is how to package herself to look like a wife material so she can get married. She ends up seeing marriage as a do or die affair, when she eventually gets married, she feels she has arrived, she stops relating with her single female friends, she starts seeing the other single ladies as irresponsible ladies not minding that some of the single ladies are very hard working and can pay their own bills without looking for the help of any guy.
Then few years into the marriage, the husband starts seeing the married lady as a"liability" because she has nothing to offer, all she knows how to do is to spend money and incur expenses, the husband out of frustration starts maltreating the wife, he starts beating her up, cheating on her and then the wife could not do anything because the only skills she had equipped herself with all her life are the skills that would help her get married. She can't even fend for herself and again how can she face her family and friends after she has been making mockery of single ladies?, So she is forced to stay back and endure, if she is lucky, she ends up so miserable and unhappy if she is unlucky, she ends up dead in the hands of the husband. Few years later, the husband marries a prettier, younger lady who had also been preparing herself to be a "married woman" and the cycle continues....

NB: The earlier our society stop making ladies believe that their sole purpose on Earth is marriage, the saner our society would be. Let us teach our girl child how to be a good person, how to be a productive adult, how to be a responsible adult, how to be a hard working adult, how to Carter for her needs as an adult.
Let us stop making our girl child believe that her greatest achievement in life would be to bear "Mrs" as a tittle.

Carinaflo:

Please do not say "The world", rather say Africans especially Nigerians. It is because of the so much importance Nigerians attach to marriage that makes most Nigerian ladies behave as if their sole purpose of being on Earth is to get married.
You see a very young girl, in stead of her to be thinking of how to build a career and be productive like her male counterparts, all she thinks about is how to package herself to look like a wife material so she can get married. She ends up seeing marriage as a do or die affair, when she eventually gets married, she feels she has arrived, she stops relating with her single female friends, she starts seeing the other single ladies as irresponsible ladies not minding that some of the single ladies are very hard working and can pay their own bills without looking for the help of any guy.
Then few years into the marriage, the husband starts seeing the married lady as a"liability" because she has nothing to offer, all she knows how to do is to spend money and incur expenses, the husband out of frustration starts maltreating the wife, he starts beating her up, cheating on her and then the wife could not do anything because the only skills she had equipped herself with all her life are the skills that would help her get married. She can't even fend for herself and again how can she face her family and friends after she has been making mockery of single ladies?, So she is forced to stay back and endure, if she is lucky, she ends up so miserable and unhappy if she is unlucky, she ends up dead in the hands of the husband. Few years later, the husband marries a prettier, younger lady who had also been preparing herself to be a "married woman" and the cycle continues....

NB: The earlier our society stop making ladies believe that their sole purpose on Earth is marriage, the saner our society would be. Let us teach our girl child how to be a good person, how to be a productive adult, how to be a responsible adult, how to be a hard working adult, how to Carter for her needs as an adult.
Let us stop making our girl child believe that her greatest achievement in life would be to bear "Mrs" as a tittle.

So the summary is that ladies should not get married but just develop themselves so that they can live without a man.
Issokay

Clarathomp:


Yet he keeps posting threads on marriage like he has first hand, real life experience, when he doesn't.

Very mediocre and myopic threads (threads lacking in foresight and intellectual insight)

His writing ability seems to have slightly improved over the years though, his write ups were often full of grammatical & spelling errors.

The guy just comes across as a bitter man with a grudge against women in practically all his threads, I think because of a failed relationship.

With the more likes he gets, he becomes bolder at putting out mediocrity and an unexposed mindset.

u are mean . D guy dey mess up.according to him women need men cos they would feel lonely forgeting many women are married and are miserable /lonely in the marriage too. Just like joro forming boss they know all about marriage and women but are unmarried. Nonsense

Women don’t lose more after a divorce or break up.
Actual research shows that women get healthier, less stressed and more beautiful after removing themselves from a bad union.

The only thing that exists is propaganda by people like you to convince women that they should feel bad about leaving a bad marriage. Many women are beginning to see through it and that’s why it’s women now who are overwhelmingly initiating divorces despite baseless generalizations like yours.

Toks2008:



I totally agree but I also understand that it is the woman that loses more if there is any disollution.

You’re right except for the fending for themselves aspect. Many married Nigerian women are the financial backbones of their homes. They stay and endure stupidity from the men because Toks and people like him always make a determined effort to make them look bad. It’s their life’s mission

Carinaflo:

Please do not say "The world", rather say Africans especially Nigerians. It is because of the so much importance Nigerians attach to marriage that makes most Nigerian ladies behave as if their sole purpose of being on Earth is to get married.
You see a very young girl, in stead of her to be thinking of how to build a career and be productive like her male counterparts, all she thinks about is how to package herself to look like a wife material so she can get married. She ends up seeing marriage as a do or die affair, when she eventually gets married, she feels she has arrived, she stops relating with her single female friends, she starts seeing the other single ladies as irresponsible ladies not minding that some of the single ladies are very hard working and can pay their own bills without looking for the help of any guy.
Then few years into the marriage, the husband starts seeing the married lady as a"liability" because she has nothing to offer, all she knows how to do is to spend money and incur expenses, the husband out of frustration starts maltreating the wife, he starts beating her up, cheating on her and then the wife could not do anything because the only skills she had equipped herself with all her life are the skills that would help her get married. She can't even fend for herself and again how can she face her family and friends after she has been making mockery of single ladies?, So she is forced to stay back and endure, if she is lucky, she ends up so miserable and unhappy if she is unlucky, she ends up dead in the hands of the husband. Few years later, the husband marries a prettier, younger lady who had also been preparing herself to be a "married woman" and the cycle continues....

NB: The earlier our society stop making ladies believe that their sole purpose on Earth is marriage, the saner our society would be. Let us teach our girl child how to be a good person, how to be a productive adult, how to be a responsible adult, how to be a hard working adult, how to Carter for her needs as an adult.
Let us stop making our girl child believe that her greatest achievement in life would be to bear "Mrs" as a tittle.

Toks must have been really surrounded by terrible women in his life. Mother, sisters, etc. They detailed his mentality and he can't think straight.

At 43, he's still running after secondary school girls in romance section.

I wonder if all men were like Toks2008; the typical African man with wharped mentality of women, if Meghan Markle would be a princess in England today...

Prince Harry; a royal blood married a divorcee and no one gives a heck about it in the royal family. Imagine that happening where you have Toks2008 and his likes...

ok

Intrepid01:
I wonder if all men were like Toks2008; the typical African man with wharped mentality of women, if Meghan Markle would be a princess in England today...

Prince Harry; a royal blood married a divorcee and no one gives a heck about it in the royal family. Imagine that happening where you have Toks2008 and his likes...

I honestly love to read counter opinions and I appreciate it so much but what I'm yet to come to terms with is when people fail to comprehend before stating counter opinion.

First and foremost I never wrote anywhere that all female divorcees face hard times finding a man ESPECIALLY THOSE WUTHOUT CHILDREN as the case is with the dutchess meghan.

Now even at that please how many female divorcees are that fortunate? So you don't just take an isolated case and make it a norm.

I pray God give me an understanding wife, i need a wify companionship

ednut1:
u are mean . D guy dey mess up.according to him women need men cos they would feel lonely forgeting many women are married and are miserable /lonely in the marriage too. Just like joro forming boss they know all about marriage and women but are unmarried. Nonsense

I try to respond to some ignorant posts here not because I must but for the sake of other people reading who might want to seek genuine knowledge.

How many countries have you been to and how many mature women have you come across?

The biggest lies unmarried women tell themselves is that they are fine without a man and ignorant people like you fall for that.

At my age I have seen things but amazingly when I write on nairaland many underage and children still under their parents roof rant endlessly as if they know what they are saying.

Toks2008:


I try to respond to some ignorant posts here not because I must but for the sake of other people reading who might want to seek genuine knowledge.

How many countries have you been to and how many mature women have you come across?

The biggest lies unmarried women tell themselves is that they are fine without a man and ignorant people like you fall for that.

At my age I have seen things but amazingly when I write on nairaland many underage and children still under their parents roof rant endlessly as if they know what they are saying.

life has no manual oga. There are many women married and miserable and their husbands no send them. Stop generalising . Lived in d uk for 3 years so cut that crap out. Ur not exposed bt myiopic. U wey be over 43 wey never marry are u not surviving Are there not widows surviving too. Mtcheeew

Hotfreezer:
Toks must have been really surrounded by terrible women in his life. Mother, sisters, etc. They detailed his mentality and he can't think straight.

At 43, he's still running after secondary school girls in romance section.

Some say I'm 40 Some say 42 now this one just mentioned 43...not forgetting the goanmarry crew.

Honestly Nairaland is one fun place.

Elder0001:


Just like you'll endeavor to take back your wife if she cheats on you.

You're sick and that's why no sane woman will get married to you.

Each time i see people trying to balance gender tolerances in this part of the world it makes me laugh.
Talk about balance:
Who must do the toasting?
Who must pay for every outing?
Who pays the price for the relationship to be aka bride price?
On whose shoulders is the wellbeing of the family?
Who is expected to cater for financial needs?

So a man will do all these and you still say whatever is good for the goose is good for the gander?

Natural justice bro!

Summary is that we need a better social balance else th OP will continue to be absolutely correct on this issue.

ednut1:
life has no manual oga. There are many women married and miserable and their husbands no send them. Stop generalising . Lived in d uk for 3 years so cut that crap out. Ur not exposed bt myiopic. U wey be over 43 wey never marry are u not surviving Are there not widows surviving too. Mtcheeew

Do you know why many of the younger generations keep making mistakes?, it's because they are too arrogant to learn from the older generation

If I start to list different known female divorcees who are still single whilst their ex have moved on...

You kept ranting about women been miserable in marriage and I wonder why you are still missing it....NO BE MUST TO MARRY and my thread is not about the need for ladies to remain in a "BAD" marriage but they need to understand that it is better to be never married rather than be a divorcee and for the married women to try all they can to stay married...

Is this too difficult to comprehend? The ooni just got married to a beautiful younger lady while the first and second wives are probably still single.

Let me be sincere with you...leave what you read on social media..every woman at a stage in their lives need a man and even the feminists yearn to be in the arms of a man.

If you have truly lived in the U.K then you must be too young not to see what single mums and female divorcees go through despite the care they get from the system.

Toks2008:


Do you know why many of the younger generations keep making mistakes?, it's because they are too arrogant to learn from the older generation

If I start to list different known female divorcees who are still single whilst their ex have moved on...

You kept ranting about women been miserable in marriage and I wonder why you are still missing it....NO BE MUST TO MARRY and my thread is not about the need for ladies to remain in a "BAD" marriage but they need to understand that it is better to be never married rather than be a divorcee and for the married women to try all they can to stay married...

Is this too difficult to comprehend? The ooni just got married to a beautiful younger lady while the first and second wives are probably still single.

Let me be sincere with you...leave what you read on social media..every woman at a stage in their lives need a man and even the feminists yearn to be in the arms of a man.

sorry sir u are making no sense. So the two ex wives shud have stayed and continue to suffer emotional abuse from his bossy sisters and interference abi. Ooni of a man is a jerk no be person be 80 year old alafin wey dey handle small gals wella

ednut1:
sorry sir u are making no sense. So the two ex wives shud have stayed and continue to suffer emotional abuse from his bossy sisters and interference abi. Ooni of a man is a jerk no be person be 80 year old alafin wey dey handle small gals wella

You keep proving your ignorance.

It might interest you that most divorce cases were actually instigated by the women and you are sure to hear them give various reasons.

Imagine what you just write.. "Emotional abuse" another will say "infidelity" another will be irreconcilable differences please does this change the fact that she is a divorcee? Does it change the fact that it is usually easier for the man to get a new spouse?

Let me just leave you to your own view.

This is the story they tell so women don't leave marriages laced with violence and infidelity. ( AND THIS SERMONS IS MOSTLY PREACHED BY MEN ).


maybe you haven't read that a man's life span is affected more after divorce.

Check a woman after divorce esp if it is from a domestic violent partner, you will see the glow and the peace of mind. It is mostly the man running around,looking for how to get his wife back. Lol

Keep fooling yourselves oh.

But it's not like we re deliberately staying single. Husband is hard to find

NJ

Toks2008:


Thanks brother .

And they hate me so much...expecially the teenagers and adolescents who are still starting life and have no clue yet of what romance is all about.

Life has a way of humbling everyone as we grow older. Even God humbled himself after regretting creating mankind to allow His dear son redeem humanity from the prince of the earth.

Marriage humbles you, changes you and modifies you. Now I know why companies would rather trust a young man succeeding in his marriage with management positions than the unbanked.

We all get to a point we swallow our pride and roll up the sleeves and do dirty work. Marriage ain't easy but a wonderful marriage is possible. It's just sacrifices here and there.

My only addition to the wonderful submission above is that intending couples should always do research or sufficient readings on each other's temperament.

Even the married should take with utmost seriousness readings on their partner's horoscope, zodiac sign and temperament. You wouldn't wanna go on head on collusion with a stubborn Taurus who is also a damnation choleric. You will never win. If they both marry each other, that marriage is mostly like when tornado meets a vulcano. That's just one example.

It helps make your marriage sweeter. Knowing your partners temperament and possible reaction will help ensure better communication, in applying wisdom and what to avoid per time, as well as deal with issues.

Love gets you into a union, what keeps the union is your ability to make little sacrifices and read more than enough books on marriage. Especially on how to become each others damn addiction.

Toks2008, oya come here and tell us the truth how old are you and why ain't you yet married.... Or is it what I'm thinking

pwettyeddy:
NJ

Life has a way of humbling everyone as we grow older. Even God humbled himself after regretting creating mankind to allow His dear son redeem humanity from the prince of the earth.

Marriage humbles you, changes you and modifies you. Now I know why companies would rather trust a young man succeeding in his marriage with management positions than the unbanked.

We all get to a point we swallow our pride and roll up the sleeves and do dirty work. Marriage ain't easy but a wonderful marriage is possible. It's just sacrifices here and there.

My only addition to the wonderful submission above is that intending couples should always do research or sufficient readings on each other's temperament.

Even the married should take with utmost seriousness readings on their [b]partner's horoscope, zodiac sign and temperament. You wouldn't wanna go on head on collusion with a stubborn Taurus who is also a damnation choleric. You will never win. If they both marry each other, that marriage is mostly like when tornado meets a vulcano. [/b]That's just one example.

It helps make your marriage sweeter. Knowing your partners temperament and possible reaction will help ensure better communication, in applying wisdom and what to avoid per time, as well as deal with issues.

Love gets you into a union, what keeps the union is your ability to make little sacrifices and read more than enough books on marriage. Especially on how to become each others damn addiction.

how can anyone believe this crap

Toks2008:


I have my peculiar way of choosing my titles and most times I choose very controversial ones but only those who are intelligent enough not to judge the book by its cover will grasp the message.

The topic & the content are worthwhile. Merely reading the topic I am convinced it would address issue as regards marital ... It didn't fall short of objectivity.. Thumbs up OP

Chi59:

Toks2008's posts on relationships and marriage has never failed to reveal His warped, traditionalist, subtle sexist mindset.
I'm not surprised. Most of his posts on relationship are mostly directed to the feminine gender, subtly telling them to be submissive and willing to take anything they see in other to get married and stay married. He makes a lot of mention of age, he opines that women under 25 should not be considered for marriage and a lot of baloney.
Forget him

I agree that his posts are somewhat biased against women, but there's some truth in them. You mustn't take everything an article, post or sermon offers. Pick the one that applies to you and move on.

Toks2008:


Aunty Chi biko forget me but just remember my crazy articles should you or anyone you know be faced with the harsh reality.

Ask Toke, Juliet Ibrahim, Linda ikeji and several other so called feminists out there I guess they will lecture you better.

You must think I'm foolish when I chose to put more emphasis on the feminine gender...look around you and tell me if it is not too obvious that when divorce occurs, it is the woman that suffers more in most cases so continue to live in delusion.
Whilst Juliet Ibrahim husband has moved on and even has kids with the new lady, Juliet ass is being groped,used and dumped and I can give you series of known feminine figures who are divorced and their ex have moved on whilst they are still single.
I never said some men don't feel it too but why bother myself about the men when it is the women who suffer more.

Only women who read my articles without sentiments can understand that I'm only trying to safeguard the psyche of the ladies.

Classic example at the bolded.