₦airaland Forum

danieljessy:
What load of rubbish did I just read,after having a failed marriage which ended with kids which could be due to your promiscuous lifestyle,one would think you should now have some iota of sense now,you even have the gots to be choosy and selective after undergoing several abortions "tuah"(spits)..Better know now that the new young fellow will never marry you,all he wants his to have is own fair share of your now hideous, smelly disgusting virgina and maybe have you abort some more which is by now your specialty..

Madam I'm beautiful and attractive stop sleeping with every tom dick n harry that comes across you,you're not a teenager and like someone said earlier you sure must be a gold digger..there's really no shame in this world anymore

What ended the union will be the topic for another day dear, and when dat day comes, (if i ever get to share the experience here) i'll be sure to tag u (ur moniker well noted) so u can have a chance to eat ur words, if u'll hv the dignity to do so. Guess not everyone really understands the meaning of the term "gold-digger" Thanks still.

thebosstrevor:
Yes, you are being stupid.

So you cheated on your guy then jump to a new guy like he disposable.

men, you are not stable also, you just keep jumping and falling in so love

one guy is broke,fine and has a child the other has a income,no child and single and you have an income with kids but single

the reality is most single mother dream is to date and marry a single man without kids and with good income so that he can support them and their child or children. many wont date other single dad because of the lack of attention.

You dont like the second single guy, you are just there because he has a steady income flow which he can use to support himself, yourself and your kid.

Your priority should be your kids not these men, can you cut out these men and concentrate on your life till you are emotionally balance to know your left from right.

what you are looking for is someone that can provide for your needs but anyway fine face and good bedmantics wont provide food on the table and also single guy with good income can get bored oneday and leave.

what will you do?

for the feeling of sadness: Stop lying to yourself, the first guy still hold some value to you.

I suppose he still does for me to be feeling this way. My kids have been my priority all these years. I've only just opened up my heart for a chance to love again just from the last quarter of last year, mainly as a result of pressure from my parents to get settled again. I'm still quite young as the whole marriage sham took place rather early in my life. Thanks for the advice though.

Yap, am right afterall. Women are like chicken, you go after them, they run away from. But you let them be and quit chasing them, then they come after you by themselve without any convincing. Thats when you swoop and catch them, then you "eat them".

Manyalove:
What ended the union will be the topic for another day dear, and when dat day comes, (if i ever get to share the experience here) i'll be sure to tag u (ur moniker well noted) so u can have a chance to eat ur words, if u'll hv the dignity to do so. Guess not everyone really understands the meaning of the term "gold-digger"

oh I sure would wait for that day to see the many lies you'll come up with..Why should I take a once married lady who spares no shame in mentioning her current partners bedmatics(shows where your priority lies).

Go takecare of your kids and focus less on men,when you find one that can put up with all your baggages you'll know.
P.S Again stop sleeping with men

Manyalove:
I suppose he still does for me to be feeling this way. My kids have been my priority all these years. I've only just opened up my heart for a chance to love again just from the last quarter of last year, mainly as a result of pressure from my parents to get settled again. I'm still quite young as the whole marriage sham took place rather early in my life. Thanks for the advice though.

there is nothing bad in loving but the reality is this we guys dont take cheating well. he know you have slept with him already

so it is up to you to decide what you want.

if you want him, you dont pursue him, let him call you and then take things from there and i hope he forgives you.

for the first guy, what type of hustle does he do?

thebosstrevor:
there is nothing bad in loving but the reality is this we guys dont take cheating well. he know you have slept with him already

so it is up to you to decide what you want.

if you want him, you dont pursue him, let him call you and then take things from there and i hope he forgives you.

for the first guy, what type of hustle does he do?

Mainly land agency. Also helps sell off imported items..

Manyalove:
Mainly land agency. Also helps sell off imported items..

i see, these are not stable jobs. oneday will come when he will ask for huge sum of money because of love, you will give him and he will disappear, if he was so serious with his life, he would have gone to school and get his degree and wont be in some financial mess.

i dont like that he is using your money for the other woman, that is his personal responsibility and also i think he do borrow money to take you out.

forget all these guys and live with the pain of losing him. that pain is not permanent, for now relax and solve your emotional issues, organised yourself,be confident, some one better and responsible will come your way.

thebosstrevor:
i see, these are not stable jobs. oneday will come when he will ask for huge sum of money because of love, you will give him and he will disappear

i dont like that he is using your money for the other woman, that is his personal responsibility and also i think he do borrow money to take you out.

forget all these guys and live with the pain of losing him. that pain is not permanent, someone that can take care of you and your children with come your way. for now relax and solve your emotional issues, organised yourself and then bounce back to the dating market.

Hhhmm! U do hv a point there! It not going to be easy though but i'll put myself to it. Thanks a lot. Nice to know that there are still some reasonable fellows with some level of empathy on this forum. God bless u.

Manyalove:
Hhhmm! U do hv a point there! It not going to be easy though but i'll put myself to it. Thanks a lot. Nice to know that there are still some reasonable fellows with some level of empathy on this forum. God bless u.

it is not always easy but time heals pain. just concentrate on your work, improve on yourself, follow your dreams, if you want to get your masters, get it now, be focus, be smart and life will do its magic for you.

Peace.

Please, I beg you...let him be.

You are such a bum magnet! Biko grab this redemption by letting the bum go! Hian!

Young lady, contact me please. belrahj3@gmail.com

danieljessy:
What load of rubbish did I just read,after having a failed marriage which ended with kids which could be due to your promiscuous lifestyle,one would think you should now have some iota of sense now,you even have the gots to be choosy and selective after undergoing several abortions "tuah"(spits)..Better know now that the new young fellow will never marry you,all he wants his to have is own fair share of your now hideous, smelly disgusting virgina and maybe have you abort some more which is by now your specialty..

Madam I'm beautiful and attractive stop sleeping with every tom dick n harry that comes across you,you're not a teenager and like someone said earlier you sure must be a gold digger..there's really no shame in this world anymore

haba too harsh

boyfriend dey born like fowl,girlfriend dey born like chicken,make two of una kontinue

After reading that, yes, you are.

Manyalove:
Hello all. I'll try to be very brief here.
So, I have this very cute guy, who's every woman's dream of a man- a typical TDH (tall, dark and handsome). He's the cutest of every guy i've ever dated. He also very good in bed. Exceptionally good. He's very much in love with me. However, he has a baby and a mama; the product of a fling he had. Thing is, his desire to be part of his son's life made him take in the mama (kid's three years old BTW), to stay in one of the rooms in his house. I've also got kids from a previous union which didn't work out fine and i'm doing my very best to move on and get settled again. He told me about his mama from the onset, but i hid my history from him. He later found out on his own and had no issues with it. I'm very beautiful and attractive and one would hardly know i've had kids before if i don't tell u.
My concern with this guy is that he's not very stable. He does several hustles here and there, but is always struggling with cash. I do work and help him out sometimes but, i'm often restricted by the fact that i have kids of my own who though stay with my parents, are my sole responsibility. Again, the fact that he has a woman like me in the background, whom i know he'll be giving money to for upkeep turns me off from helping always as well. Besides, its not like i earn so much too, its just that its more steady than whatever he does. He hardly gives me anything, but i hardly complain. Couple of months back i missed my period and informed him. He was happy and wished for a daughter. However, i was against the idea of having another child, at least not out of wedlock. I tried to make him see reasons with me and somehow, he obliged. A month after again, same thing happened. As usual he begged that this one should stay, again i refused. I insisted he must provide the funds for it to be taken care of since he keeps refusing to protect himself. But as usual, he was broke. I took care of everything on my own and kept my distance from him. In fact, i wanted to put an end to everything between us. It was within this period i met someone else, who actually tickles my fancy. He's not as handsome as my other guy, but he's not totally bad either. (I'm sure by now u wld hv figured i have a thing for appearances). Anyway, this new guy has a steady job, and he's really fun to be with. He's very much single and knows about my status yet he's cool with it.
Couple of weeks back, my other guy came pleading with me for us to get back together (as i have all this while been giving him the silence treatment). Somehow, he got to know that I've been seeing someone else and he's very mad at me. As things stand now, we're on the verge of a break-up. I should be happy since its what i had initially wanted, but I've been miserable; can't sleep well at nite, can't eat well too. Don't know why i'm feeling this way. There's this deep sadness that has since enveloped me and i cant seem to shake it off. Worse still, he's not taking my calls. I'm really confused and feel very alone right now. Should i just let him be and move on with this new guy or do i still try harder to win him back seeing how i'm feeling without him?
Guess i made it long after all. Soo sorry folks, had to pour almost all out. Won't mind reasonable advice, comments and suggestions pls. Try to take it easy with the bashings too pls, as i'm qiute unstable emotionally now. Thanks.

What were you think when you jumped into another relationship with a guy that is tall,day k and handsome

Tashacobbs:
haba too harsh

Look my dear it's not too harsh,it's simply the truth..Don't know what she planned on reading on here, maybe she wants to be praised or something..I presumed she'd have some sense of decency now that she's more matured and I've garnered experiences from past failed relationship n marriage.. But hell no..Still acting like a teenage school kid that doesn't know right from wrong..She now has kids to takecare of that should be her only focus and not whoring around in the name of finding a perfect partner.

I would like to start by telling you some guys use children to control women, so if he has a baby mama and he wants to get you pregnant while you are both unmarried, be careful you might be dating a real baby daddy player type of guy.

Forget your sexual connection and appearance hype, though I won't advise you to test the new guy's skills why do you think he might not fulfill your fantasies ?

Your situation is already complex with the previous marriage ish, do not complicate matters more by bringing yourself into a deep relationship with someone who also has complex issues.

Trust me, if you make a mistake and settle with the TDH guy, then prepare to be shocked when he drops his facade and you encounter the realest, illest, shitest facts about him which you never knew while dating.


Your loneliness is understandable. You are attached to this tdh guy intimately, and you feel you are losing him and you are confused because your body craves him like candy, well that is very normal. However you need to use your head now, not your heart. Think and act logically, do not let your emotions control you.

Nm

Hu

danieljessy:
Look my dear it's not too harsh,it's simply the truth..Don't know what she planned on reading on here, maybe she wants to be praised or something..I presumed she'd have some sense of decency now that she's more matured and I've garnered experiences from past failed relationship n marriage.. But hell no..Still acting like a teenage school kid that doesn't know right from wrong..She now has kids to takecare of that should be her only focus and not whoring around in the name of finding a perfect partner.

well your right.she really needs to sit down and examine her life rather than rushing in and out of relationship leading to no where.

Tashacobbs:
well your right.she really needs to sit down and examine her life rather than rushing in and out of relationship leading to no where.

For a woman like that her priorities to me should be to her kids only..if peradventure she finds love while doing that diligently then that's a plus for her..I don't expect a responsible lady to be saying words like(I've told him many times to protect himself but he chooses not,and you got pregnant again not just once n got rid of it)how disgusting and utterly shameless of her..She's no better than a whoree n doesn't deserve no good man,the sooner she accepts that the better for her whoring nature.

danieljessy:
For a woman like that her priorities to me should be to her kids only..if peradventure she finds love while doing that diligently then that's a plus for her..I don't expect a responsible lady to be saying words like(I've told him many times to protect himself but he chooses not,and you got pregnant again not just once n got rid of it)how disgusting and utterly shameless of her..She's no better than a whoree n doesn't deserve no good man,the sooner she accepts that the better for her whoring nature.

.I believe she still doesn't know what she wants in a relationship. but on a serious note she should concentrate more on her kids and leave men for now.

Tamarapetty:
Move on with the new guy, seems more responsible.


ARE U FEELING DOWN cause u'll miss his features?? What if ur current dude also has nice features plus he's responsible? Will u think twice before moving on with him? Better don't lose this dude over LOOKS

What makes u think the new guy ll eventually settle down with her. See ehh, the new guy is there to take his own share and ll definitely dump her

Dis 2nd guy is financially responsible than d 1st but d question is; is he ready and willing to marry u with ur kids? If he's ready and willing to carry d cross with u, then u are good to go.

FP or condom isn't expensive, stay away from having babies out of wedlock.

pastie:
You are very selfish and confused at the same time, what happened to the other partner you have kid with, ain't part of his responsibility to take care of it? As it is now, you are after appearance and stable money but in this scenario, you can't have both, you can manage the second guy because the first one is still moving along with his baby mama, just let him go and manage your new relationship but I pray you don't cheat on him, cuz you are obviously obsessed with cute men.

I'm very sure, the new guy ll definitely used nd dump her if she didn't wise up

empire2017:
that new guy can never marry u..I'm very sure of that..no sensible mother will allow her son marry a babymama with *KID'S* not even kid.in my mum's Voice "U BETTER COME MARRY ME IF U CAN'T FIND ANY SINGLE LADY TO MARRY OTHER THAN A BABYMAMA"

My brother ur head dey there. Not only baby mama but she was married before. She ll definitely find it difficult settling down with the new guy due to her pass

Tashacobbs:
.I believe she still doesn't know what she wants in a relationship. but on a serious note she should concentrate more on her kids and leave men for now.

She might think I'm being irrational n insensitive to her.But from her writeup she appears to be naive and hasn't figured out what she really wants..don't know how old she is I would say youthful exuberance is the case here or maybe she still hasn't had her fill of the sexual pleasures of this world..

@manyalove I sincerely apologize if my comments may have offended or gotten to you in a negative way..A responsible devorced woman with kids should have her children's interest best at heart now..things like handsomeness n pleasurable bedmatic shouldn't be your prerequisite for picking a good man..If you must,get a man that would takecare of you n your kids even if he looks like a monkey n terrible in sex.. The comfort of your children should be your only consern.Stop acting like a teenager and being too selective cos on hearing that you're a devorcee with kids only a few strong hearted men would take you serious n want to settle with you(they atmost would want to fu*k n dump you since according to you,you're still beautiful n attractive)

it's really pathetic d way some individuals tends to make mockery of those who are bold enough to share their life experiences while seeking for advices.
Some people hardly have anything positive to contribute other than blames as if their life is perfect.
My advice.....
1. Find a way to stop getting pregnant so easily. There are diverse means of doing this in this age n time....
2. I personally won't advice in favour of d first guy cos if he truly loves u, den he shd honestly care for ur finances (no matter how little he can). Funny, some guys even said u r after money...haba!! how can a totally broke guy even take care of a family? he shd probably go look for money first. Money shdnt be ur priority in a relationship however, a guy who can't even shoulder any responsibility should himself move far away from one. Yoruba's adage "owo LA fi nse oko iyawo" (u need money in order to be regarded to as husband)
3. Despite my comment above (2), open ur eyes n be sure d new guy isn't even worse.
4. Follow ur heart
5. May God help u....

Please stick with the new guy. You need stability in your life biko.

Drop the deadweight ASAP.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Please stick with the new guy. You need stability in your life biko.

Drop the deadweight ASAP.

i disagree with you

second guy is just a rebound relationship. it doesnt last. both wont work.

akaahs:
What makes u think the new guy ll eventually settle down with her. See ehh, the new guy is there to take his own share and ll definitely dump her

What exactly would make the first guy marry her? She already aborted twice for the same man and he has his kid and babymama under his roof. Who knows what happens at night when all is dark..

I thought older people with kids should be sensible enough not to abort for a guy twice

I didnt want to post anything but i just want to say something to you dear.I am a single mum since 2016 until date i havent had sex with any guy.becareful dont get pregnant until you get married.please learn from d first

Manyalove:
Hello all. I'll try to be very brief here.
So, I have this very cute guy, who's every woman's dream of a man- a typical TDH (tall, dark and handsome). He's the cutest of every guy i've ever dated. He also very good in bed. Exceptionally good. He's very much in love with me. However, he has a baby and a mama; the product of a fling he had. Thing is, his desire to be part of his son's life made him take in the mama (kid's three years old BTW), to stay in one of the rooms in his house. I've also got kids from a previous union which didn't work out fine and i'm doing my very best to move on and get settled again. He told me about his mama from the onset, but i hid my history from him. He later found out on his own and had no issues with it. I'm very beautiful and attractive and one would hardly know i've had kids before if i don't tell u.
My concern with this guy is that he's not very stable. He does several hustles here and there, but is always struggling with cash. I do work and help him out sometimes but, i'm often restricted by the fact that i have kids of my own who though stay with my parents, are my sole responsibility. Again, the fact that he has a woman like me in the background, whom i know he'll be giving money to for upkeep turns me off from helping always as well. Besides, its not like i earn so much too, its just that its more steady than whatever he does. He hardly gives me anything, but i hardly complain. Couple of months back i missed my period and informed him. He was happy and wished for a daughter. However, i was against the idea of having another child, at least not out of wedlock. I tried to make him see reasons with me and somehow, he obliged. A month after again, same thing happened. As usual he begged that this one should stay, again i refused. I insisted he must provide the funds for it to be taken care of since he keeps refusing to protect himself. But as usual, he was broke. I took care of everything on my own and kept my distance from him. In fact, i wanted to put an end to everything between us. It was within this period i met someone else, who actually tickles my fancy. He's not as handsome as my other guy, but he's not totally bad either. (I'm sure by now u wld hv figured i have a thing for appearances). Anyway, this new guy has a steady job, and he's really fun to be with. He's very much single and knows about my status yet he's cool with it.
Couple of weeks back, my other guy came pleading with me for us to get back together (as i have all this while been giving him the silence treatment). Somehow, he got to know that I've been seeing someone else and he's very mad at me. As things stand now, we're on the verge of a break-up. I should be happy since its what i had initially wanted, but I've been miserable; can't sleep well at nite, can't eat well too. Don't know why i'm feeling this way. There's this deep sadness that has since enveloped me and i cant seem to shake it off. Worse still, he's not taking my calls. I'm really confused and feel very alone right now. Should i just let him be and move on with this new guy or do i still try harder to win him back seeing how i'm feeling without him?
Guess i made it long after all. Soo sorry folks, had to pour almost all out. Won't mind reasonable advice, comments and suggestions pls. Try to take it easy with the bashings too pls, as i'm qiute unstable emotionally now. Thanks.