uyiekpenn:
I've said it before and I'll say it again. It's not your duty as a man to be financially responsible for any girl's upkeep. Nigerian men created this stupid feeling of entitlement and virus that's quite common amongst 90% of Nigerian females. The only woman I give monthly stipends and money in general is my mom and none other. I don't work under the biting winters or hot summers each day to be feeding one broke ass, lazy, hopeless, useless, greedy, senseless and unproductive female when she's not handicapped or an orphan.

What about your younger sister? You should also give her a monthly stipend till she gets a job.

I even thought she was your girl
I stopped reading when i saw "yet to be boyfriend"
Well, as u start to use money toast am na money u go take chop am.. Na these guys dey make girls impose tax on everything & na now u wan complain.. Money without style. Mtcheeewww

Simplybami:


What about your younger sister? You should also give her a monthly stipend till she gets a job.

I don't have a younger sister. Only have an elder sister and she's an American doctor living in America as well with her husband.

uyiekpenn:
I don't have a younger sister. Only have an elder sister and she's an American doctor living in America as well with her husband.

Okay. Good.

At the end, WHAT IS YOUR PROFIT? I mean after spending 100k+, what is your profit?

If there's no addition to what you spent, then you are investing in liability. If that's good for you, keep it up.


Let me ask, how much has she spent on you? Don't give me the crack that she doesn't have anything, if she doesn't have anything, she isn't worth anything.

A girl dat comes out to say something like dis tells u much abt her,dat she's well brought up n she discipline herself to hustle well,I have much respect for u,are u in delta?

Kenfil:
Lemme tell u this, no man is obligated to give money to a woman they are not married to. If u r dating someone they should at least have small change to care for their needs, then if u wanna help out then great if not don't let any lazy girl bully u into becoming their father Christmas. Please find women and men who are willing to contribute in ur lives and I bet u they are out there. Thank u

merahki:



Easy darling winter hustling man
Let the hard work you are doing grudgingly not be boiling your brain this much, to the point of incomprehension of posts

Your posts reveal a lot of bitterness I must say
Full of vitriol and mostly misogynistic
You mean to tell me that every unemployed woman who depends on a man for money and upkeep is invariably and completely evil? Think deep before you answer this
You need to breathe, relax and swallow some warmth and love pills
Meanwhile consider come back home, to the sun
The cold might be making you this way too
Eishhh
(I e-dislike you already)

Bleep your feelings and what you think. You don't need to like me cos your likeness towards is as irrelevant as the letter P in Pneumonia and Psychology and adds nothing to my life. Your laziness and self entitlement is why i lack respect for women like you cos you've refused to be productive to yourself bit rather has decided to be a parasite living off a host. Why should any woman depend on a man for survival? Are you handicapped? Don't you have 2 hands and 2 legs? What do you bring to the table other than your over-stretched pussyy and drama? No wonder men no longer have respect for women anymore cos of your pathetic kind.

limbolimbo:
I recently showed interest in a neighbour of mine, I know she likes me, but she is a very traditional person, she wants us to go through the full cycle before anything further. But something started giving me a reason to worry about here mindset towards relationships.

She celebrated her birthday last month, and I got her a very expensive wrist watch, it cost me 94k, she doesn't know this. I also got her a really nice cake, cost me 10k, so in all I spent over a hundred thousand on her birthday. I know for some this may not seem like much or may seem like too much, I think what really matters is tat I was fine with it and could afford it. Within the same period, she would indirectly ask me for funds, she said she was broke, I could have helped her with this but I felt it was way above my position, as I am only a "To Be Boyfriend", to offer her all this after spending a 100k on gifts for her birthday.

A week ago we had a very interesting discussion, about the role of the man and the woman in a relationship, she said that "A man should be responsible for the upkeep of his Girlfriend, he should save a portion from his salary monthly which he should give to his girlfriend for upkeep". I thought that was nonsense and I quickly called her out on it, all I can say now is that I don't think we would be dating anymore, because she took it very personally, she said she thinks she would suffer if she goes into a relationship with me, because I am already showing signs of being stingy.

If I keep writing I would not end, so my question here is, is she right? Should I have instead given her the cash rather than the gift? Because to me it now seems she doesn't see the value of the gift and would rather have cash. I want adult opinions please.

(Please note that I am not trying to paint this lady as an evil person, she is really sweet, loving, caring, she loves getting attention and doesn't have any problem in showing me how she really feels about me, overall she is a great lady.)

Mehn, same as I. Truth be told. My girlfriend ( pharmacist) told me I should be giving her up keep from my salary. The incoherency in my thoughts made me feel its good for our growth. She's a corp member, had issues with payments last two months. My cousin's goon said they've been paid, I conjecture she's been too but hasn't made mention at all. I love her but I don't know how to stop this misdemeanor (my feeling) that I started. She openly tells me she loves money in an intelligible, humor-laced way. She calls everyday like an hour plus tho sometimes I do send the airtime. Her preaching is don't hurt me but can I continue with the long calls and up keep. She serves in the north & I'm in the south

greyham:


Both of you are right. You didn't have to walk her out of your car though

oga I have no regrets about what I did. No woman would use me as a means to climb any ladder when she has absolutely nothing to offer.

Ozkar:
lol. What are the returns on this 'investment'?

Her love, care, devotion to making you happy, and other things the guy might want that are reasonable.

Iyajelili:

I am an orphan yet I stopped this entitlement mentality many years ago with family members let alone my boyfriend.
Back to the topic, I don't know why some people some guys inclusive have entitlement mentality when you have 2 working hands and 2 working legs.

Wow! I admire your resilience. Keep it up, having a sense of independence makes you responsible and have a sense of pride. You can stand up to anybody.

monaPhilz:
you get prick!

you gallant my oga at the top. It's time to put these lazy and entitled females where they rightly belong.

bokmal:


Guy. You must have a very big car to “walk” someone out of it

it doesn't matter the type of car that I have. What matters is that I was able to put an entitled broke ass female where she rightly belongs

Yes it does. Especially if you were born and raised here

boiz2men:


Hey, get off your high horses.

I know a lot of friends who live in Europe and are not doing great. I have a better life than most. Only fellow docs in Europe live better.

Being outside Nigeria doesn't mean you have a great life.

PrimadonnaO:

They are really just deceiving him, when in actual fact they do otherwise in their own relationship.
b]It's nothing about a woman being lazy, far from it, because even working class ladies and business women have expectations of their man, too. It's one of the ways women feel cared for. [/b]

Even on their friends " their guys" they spend money, but it comes to the woman they claim to love, "I love you, I love you" They want to scream golddigger.
Some men eh.

But it doesn't mean that a woman doesn't assist, too. As a matter of fact, a woman usually goes the extra mile for a man she loves and who in return makes her feel loved. Trust me on this one.

They know, they just like to act funny,

All of these guys whining, they are either broke or badly bruised... not anybody's business, neither does it change the fact.

And they know that too, they just hope that their whining and complaining can force women to lower their standards to want nothing so that they can get away with not spending any money nor doing any thing for the woman they claim to love.

What I do have an issue with is a woman who won't do anything for herself... and would in fact, be in a pathetic state without a man giving her money.

Very true. No woman should allow herself to get to the point that without a man she is nothing.

I work and I earn, and can sort out my basic needs and a bit of indulgences for myself, but no, I won't be with a man who's tight-fisted, a man who doesn't understand that he should be supportive and occasionally do random stuff for his woman whether or not such was requested

Nothing but the truth.

I mean, that would stifle my natural inclinations of goodwill. I'd feel stupid if I cooked such a man a sumptuous dish as a treat with my money...I'd feel silly if I saw that nice shirt and got it for him because I felt it would look great on him. I'd feel overzealous if I arranged a surprise for his birthday. Nahh...can't be with a man like that.

Same, for me, having any type of relationship with someone like the above mentioned would be terrible. You won't be able to as generous to them as you would want because then you would feel a bit foolish, You'll then start restricting yourself, just making yourself unhappy,

How many times have we seen this same story on Nairaland in a different format

This is maybe format 22

Same discussion

"Should a man pay his girlfriend for her GIRLFRIENDSHIP?

Then we have the Naysayers mostly Yoruba men

She is a golddigger, what is her father doing , we both enjoy the sex etc

The Aye Sayers

Mostly Igbo Women

You are stingy, You are broke. If you don't have money padlock your thin


Then we have the End of discussion group mostly Igbo men > No argument

Small boys should go and hustle till they have Money before chasing women. If you don't have money keep quiet

Aboki men just keep quiet and observe they know they can get the girls from age 9-10

Its our religion

Ask her if it'd be Okay if you paid for her to learn a trade like tailoring or something.. If she resists I think you should let her be .. I like she has this mentality because she has nothing doing.. something tangible that's why she thinks that way

If you don’t want to spend fine. But I’m not entitled to cook, give you sex, give you absolutely nothing. Let everybody just be on their own and be selfish, since that’s the games we wanna play.

Darkseid:
I just pray that she doesn't end up selling the watch for 3k when she's broke.

LMAO
Selling a gift?

Princedapace:


U are right, most naija men caused this.. Most naija men have low self esteem. They feel moneh is the easiest way to get and keep a woman..

U will still hear them say go and make money and get any woman of ur choice.. Now the thing is getting out of hand.. Ladies can't afford their basic needs and they wnt u to afford it for them..

as in eh it boils me down to my bone marrows when I see the rubbish these so called men do in the name of being in a relationship. How can I be dating a girl and she's still expecting me to pay for being in a relationship with me? That's absolutely preposterous. I'm an Australian based Health, Safety and Environment Supervisor /Coordinator/Advisor and I know the hours and efforts I put in everyday just to earn a living to start sharing my hard earned sweat with one vagabond who has refused to be productive and useful to herself but wants to use sex as a leverage to expect payment while in a relationship. Who does that?

Start small and gradually increase your spending on her. Dont start with wat u feel is big cos with time she wud want dat ur big u started with to increase and u would be spending above ur limit its gonna start stressing u and u wud begin thinking is it really worth it so start small and increase with time. Many guys make dis mistake.

uyiekpenn:
I'm telling you and I find this to be very foolish. Imagine after I don suffer work from 9 to 5 only for one vagabond to be demanding what she cannot ask her for. E no go better for that girl. They want money but don't wanna work. Who dey find money make e go work. After all we all have two hands and two legs.

Bros, which girl offend you like this?
Sorry to ask o but please forgive her and don't give up on female folk in general, there are still good ones out there.

I'm a lady but I feel like slapping you right now.

limbolimbo:
I recently showed interest in a neighbour of mine, I know she likes me, but she is a very traditional person, she wants us to go through the full cycle before anything further. But something started giving me a reason to worry about here mindset towards relationships.

She celebrated her birthday last month, and I got her a very expensive wrist watch, it cost me 94k, she doesn't know this. I also got her a really nice cake, cost me 10k, so in all I spent over a hundred thousand on her birthday. I know for some this may not seem like much or may seem like too much, I think what really matters is tat I was fine with it and could afford it. Within the same period, she would indirectly ask me for funds, she said she was broke, I could have helped her with this but I felt it was way above my position, as I am only a "To Be Boyfriend", to offer her all this after spending a 100k on gifts for her birthday.

A week ago we had a very interesting discussion, about the role of the man and the woman in a relationship, she said that "A man should be responsible for the upkeep of his Girlfriend, he should save a portion from his salary monthly which he should give to his girlfriend for upkeep". I thought that was nonsense and I quickly called her out on it, all I can say now is that I don't think we would be dating anymore, because she took it very personally, she said she thinks she would suffer if she goes into a relationship with me, because I am already showing signs of being stingy.

If I keep writing I would not end, so my question here is, is she right? Should I have instead given her the cash rather than the gift? Because to me it now seems she doesn't see the value of the gift and would rather have cash. I want adult opinions please.

(Please note that I am not trying to paint this lady as an evil person, she is really sweet, loving, caring, she loves getting attention and doesn't have any problem in showing me how she really feels about me, overall she is a great lady.)

Bros your are not wrong... it is so sad that lots of girls feel entitled to a guy's money cos he is the boyfriend... if a guy chooses to spend on a lady is choice. Never settle for a lady who says its her right to ur money. She will only ruin you and leave u once the chips are down. You are not her father... that is why there is marriage. Its transfer of responsibility from her parents to you as a husband. Be wise

@OP,

I am not against your spending on her as you can afford. But her mindset and entitlement mentality is troubling.

What happens if someday you do not have much (God forbid), will she still be sweet and loving?

With all your current largess she's calling you stingy, what if you decide to give less?

Saffi:
If you don’t want to spend fine. But I’m not entitled to cook, give you sex, give you absolutely nothing. Let everybody just be on their own and be selfish, since that’s the games we wanna play.

Your English needs improvement Do you know the meaning of the word entitled? perhaps you mean obliged?

Sex is something you "give" ?

Since the day you started to "give sex " have you ever got a reference,certificate or feedback form to tell you how good your sex is so that your next partner can know what they are buying?
e.g Are you in the Premiership or Championship?

Cooking ?? Is that how good your cooking is?

See...... all those things can be paid for ? Sex and cooking .........
especially in Nigeria, very cheap

Why pretend there is a relationship?

Then the question of selfishness should not come into it if you are paying

You simply negotiate

Sex How many times a week
Whether you use condom or not
and then agree a rate including charge for abortion if needed

If Housekeeping is part of the deal again you agree a rate

If escorting to events like parties etc again you agree a rate , including wardrobe allowance etc

It is business why pretend it is something else?
Men do it for women and women do it for men it depends on who is more needy.

I think problems arise when people pretend to each other

@OP,

I am not against your spending on her as you can afford. But her mindset and entitlement mentality is troubling.

What happens if someday you do not have much (God forbid), will she still be sweet and loving? Or become very unreasonable and disrespectful.

With all your current largess she's calling you stingy, what if you decide to give less?

In my opinion, cut your loss and move on dude.

limbolimbo:
I recently showed interest in a neighbour of mine, I know she likes me, but she is a very traditional person, she wants us to go through the full cycle before anything further. But something started giving me a reason to worry about here mindset towards relationships.

She celebrated her birthday last month, and I got her a very expensive wrist watch, it cost me 94k, she doesn't know this. I also got her a really nice cake, cost me 10k, so in all I spent over a hundred thousand on her birthday. I know for some this may not seem like much or may seem like too much, I think what really matters is tat I was fine with it and could afford it. Within the same period, she would indirectly ask me for funds, she said she was broke, I could have helped her with this but I felt it was way above my position, as I am only a "To Be Boyfriend", to offer her all this after spending a 100k on gifts for her birthday.

A week ago we had a very interesting discussion, about the role of the man and the woman in a relationship, she said that "A man should be responsible for the upkeep of his Girlfriend, he should save a portion from his salary monthly which he should give to his girlfriend for upkeep". I thought that was nonsense and I quickly called her out on it, all I can say now is that I don't think we would be dating anymore, because she took it very personally, she said she thinks she would suffer if she goes into a relationship with me, because I am already showing signs of being stingy.

If I keep writing I would not end, so my question here is, is she right? Should I have instead given her the cash rather than the gift? Because to me it now seems she doesn't see the value of the gift and would rather have cash. I want adult opinions please.

(Please note that I am not trying to paint this lady as an evil person, she is really sweet, loving, caring, she loves getting attention and doesn't have any problem in showing me how she really feels about me, overall she is a great lady.)

dat gurl dont love you she will eventually take your money n spend it on a boy she loves, impress a gurl with ur dream not money, bcuz d day money goes u will see hell dat day. I hate broke gurls who can go get a life for herself

babyfaceafrica:
dump her,find someone sensible and reasonable.. cut your loses!!.....all these ladies that feel that they have seen maga sef..they will soon learn!!

I did that to a girl recently. They feel like they are entitled to a niggas cash.

Oh man. I'd rather spend that on my mum and dad.
Some of these dudes have parents they don't call or will disappear when their parents are in need but will gift ladies stuff like santa.
O Lord, let me not be as foolish as OP

Some ladies would be like....why not me in this position? ....

For me, ...I will say, use wisdom.... relationship is a time to observe things...

Ladies refuse to learn that time is changing...

Can you imagine, when you have a lot of working class ladies who want to even give you and one is here saying , "give me a monthly stipend" different strokes for different folks

Iyajelili:

I am an orphan yet I stopped this entitlement mentality many years ago with family members let alone my boyfriend.
Back to the topic, I don't know why some people some guys inclusive have entitlement mentality when you have 2 working hands and 2 working legs.

I admire your resilience and courage, keep it up. A sense of independence makes you proud of yourself and you can stand up to anybody.