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Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by acrobatic: 5:40pm On Jan 12, 2019
I am experienced. So I will tell you.
You did not give too much detail, so it will be difficult to advice you properly, but in general I will tell you the following

first Your spouse must be worth it. she has to be someone with a good heart that deserves your sacrifice. yes it is a sacrifice you will be making to disobey your parent and stand for what is right

You should be marry her not just for the sake of love, but for your conscience and what is right.

If you get married, keep the both of your family members far from your family. they can visit but with restrictions

Nobody can tell the future, if you marry her or someone else, nobody can tell the outcome. so do what is right for your conscience and live with it. most importantly ask God to help you.

9 Likes

Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by Nobody: 5:42pm On Jan 12, 2019
Moneystopnonsen:
Married against my mother's wish. She never liked my wife when she was babe then in school, simply because she says I give her attention too much more than i give to her.

Fast forward to after 8years of dating her, mum complained about how can i be stuck with one girl when guys where frolicking about.

After Nysc i started planning marriage, mum actually arranged her friends daughter for me, she was hot, but me i overlooked her because I was hell bent on been opposite of what my father was.

3 years ago i married my wife, mum only came for the traditional. She gave me plenty condition for my white and i was like why will my own mum want to sabotage my life simply bcoz of jealosy. Because of her I didn't do white wedding. I went to the registry and married my wife.

Today I have 2 kids and my wife is my back bone, mum still detest her and is pretending, I have made it clear to her you can't love me, love the kids she gave you and dislike her.

Recently she went as far as smearing my wife's image To my younger brothers who are not in Nigeria, I wonder what she wants to gain. So am paying her back with no access to me at all. Until she retraces her step.

If u notice I didn't talk about my dad, he is alive, his an old arse hole for university of Ibadan females both students and hostel female staff, he can gift u a car just to lay u.

Mum is just a control freak. She has lived her marital life yet wants to live another through me, but kole work ooo



You're a man.Im proud of you.Your wife is lucky!But I think your wife should at this point try win her over since she is now married to you.Yoyr mother's jealousy is understood....A mother also sees their son as husband as well.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by Tallesty1(m): 5:44pm On Jan 12, 2019
babadee1:


This is a great story bro with very useful lessons. By the way, what state are you guys from?
Enugu state bro
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by kitaatita: 5:44pm On Jan 12, 2019
femison32:
God bless u am facing the same challenge
It's not an easy ride. Your be swimming against the tide. But at the end, it's you life
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by Slynation(m): 5:56pm On Jan 12, 2019
A piece of advise, am definitely not married but i read a lot about marriages, moreover i have friends and cousins who are married.... it takes mature minds to get married and sometimes u have u go above all odds just to be with that one person u want to spend your life with, sometimes it may prove to be positive and most cases a negative approach with or without ur parents approver....You already said the girl's mother has a negative character your mom don't like,then the first thing to ask yourself is whether you can deal or contend with her as your mother-in-law, or whether your wife to be is the type been influenced or listen to her mother even in negativity, mind you most girls out there are desperate packaged slayqueens who camouflage their internal characteristics just to get married, main reason Slayqueens are getting married to MrNiceGuy every Saturday while the good ones are still single & vice verser.... How she react to other people shouldn't be overlooked, That was how my cousin married one lady like that because he was blinded by love & she is very pretty, now she hardly cooks, Too manipulative, becoming lazy,that even my uncle is complaining, My cousin bro has no choice than to adapt, because he never wanted a broken home, but this was a marriage approved by both parents, so sometimes parents are not always right, not because it's their duty to be right at all times but because the man(their son) simply failed to carryout some simple findings about their wife to be, it's the joy of every parent to see their son brings home a woman he wants to marry, so if for any reason they castigate any, then it should be taken seriously, instead of challenging them just to prove you are now a man, do some findings and convince them also, Most importantly pray about it

11 Likes

Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by DrOBD(m): 5:57pm On Jan 12, 2019
cnonyechi:


The bible says honour ur father and mother that your days may be long.

I have seen people who went against their parents and some resulted in d death of one of d spouses.

I have also seen people who went against their parents they r very much alive but sooo unhappy.

How will u feel wen u advise ur children and they decide not to listen.

For ur maraige to be sweet and successful both parents need to bless d union

Ma I strongly disagree.

What ever happens to you in life does not depends on parental blessings. Parents should train up their children to be good individuals. The biggest responsibility of any parent is to train their child to be responsible not to choose their life partners. I have seen lots of marriages that crashed with parental blessings, I have seen partners that dies with parental blessings, I have seen barrenness with parental blessings, I have seen retrogression with parental blessings, I have also seen all these negative things happen to those who did not get consent from their parents.

It all depends on fate and the couple

23 Likes

Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by Nobody: 5:58pm On Jan 12, 2019
hammerFC:
Marriage is not personal but a family matter.


It is an abomination to marry without parental consent.


Afterall, the marriage is as much in the interest of your parents as it is yours.

It's not an abomination.Irs just that their contribution and advise is needed but it's not mandatory to act on it.Myself I am highly intuitive,I won't enter a family where I'm not accepted by the man's parents no matter the pretenses.God forbid!

Even Jesus Christ dusted his feet and left where he wasn't accepted.

2 Likes

Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by luminouz(m): 6:00pm On Jan 12, 2019
Moneystopnonsen:
Married against my mother's wish. She never liked my wife when she was babe then in school, simply because she says I give her attention too much more than i give to her.

Fast forward to after 8years of dating her, mum complained about how can i be stuck with one girl when guys where frolicking about.

After Nysc i started planning marriage, mum actually arranged her friends daughter for me, she was hot, but me i overlooked her because I was hell bent on been opposite of what my father was.

3 years ago i married my wife, mum only came for the traditional. She gave me plenty condition for my white and i was like why will my own mum want to sabotage my life simply bcoz of jealosy. Because of her I didn't do white wedding. I went to the registry and married my wife.

Today I have 2 kids and my wife is my back bone, mum still detest her and is pretending, I have made it clear to her you can't love me, love the kids she gave you and dislike her.

Recently she went as far as smearing my wife's image To my younger brothers who are not in Nigeria, I wonder what she wants to gain. So am paying her back with no access to me at all. Until she retraces her step.

If u notice I didn't talk about my dad, he is alive, his an old arse hole for university of Ibadan females both students and hostel female staff, he can gift u a car just to lay u.

Mum is just a control freak. She has lived her marital life yet wants to live another through me, but kole work ooo


Lol...
I KNOW UR DAD...VERY WELL IN FACT!!!
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by DrOBD(m): 6:00pm On Jan 12, 2019
Tallesty1:
Obviously because there are too many similar stories with a bad ending.

How many do you know. I know more that ended well.
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by tsinepa: 6:01pm On Jan 12, 2019
Jac007:
That is the same reason why I'm still single. Her mum said no and i let go. I can't allow her invite their village people to my house.


Same here, here mum is saying no because of my church, so I have given her space, if she is truly mine, she would be mine no matter what.

2 Likes

Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by Willie2015: 6:03pm On Jan 12, 2019
ivolt:


You are a strong man unlike weaklings who easily succumb to blackmail.

He got a mother with a good heart .... not a strong man......some dont actually make it....

Just exactly the same scenario here, my friend got married without parental consent...

Anytime the wife gives birth, the child will die within 7 days... before naming....

Wifey gave birth..... 4 times..... all those kids aint alive....

My guy had accident some yrs after the marriage.... he was driving alone ..... no oncoming vehicle..... none at his back

Drove and hit a big tree..... that was the end.

It is advisable to seek parental consent.....

Even if your parents are traditional herbalists ..... you must find a way to seek their consent.

2 Likes

Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by tsinepa: 6:03pm On Jan 12, 2019
Tallesty1:
No experience so I will be sharing my senior brother's experience.


Dude came home one day with one tall bae like that from Anambra.


He called the fam together and introduced her as the girl he will marry, Oh Boy.... My old man no even let him finish before he provoke.


He said it ain't happening, that all his kids will marry from my state.

Mumsy calmed him but she sef no support the thing.

Later that night(after the girl don go) he(dad) called us together and started giving reason why we should not marry from another state.

My bro told him that he and the girl don tey so he no fit leave am like that.

I told them to let him marry whoever he likes after all nah he go live with am.


But the reason I supported him be say me sef dey date one girl from Anambra that time.

Mumsy later gree but palee refused so with mom's support, we do strong head go marry her.


To cut the story short, the lady is my dad's favorite daughter in law till today and they're happily married with 4 kids.

2 boys and 2 girls.

I wish my story can be like this
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by Nobody: 6:06pm On Jan 12, 2019
Tallesty1:
No experience so I will be sharing my senior brother's experience.


Dude came home one day with one tall bae like that from Anambra.


He called the fam together and introduced her as the girl he will marry, Oh Boy.... My old man no even let him finish before he provoke.


He said it ain't happening, that all his kids will marry from my state.

Mumsy calmed him but she sef no support the thing.

Later that night(after the girl don go) he(dad) called us together and started giving reason why we should not marry from another state.

My bro told him that he and the girl don tey so he no fit leave am like that.

I told them to let him marry whoever he likes after all nah he go live with am.


But the reason I supported him be say me sef dey date one girl from Anambra that time.

Mumsy later gree but palee refused so with mom's support, we do strong head go marry her.


To cut the story short, the lady is my dad's favorite daughter in law till today and they're happily married with 4 kids.

2 boys and 2 girls.
thank you
Parents should really stop abusing their power over their kids
If your mom doesn't like her mom or her behavior, that is between she and your girl's mom, she shldnt make you guys suffer for it
My friend got married without his parents consent too...went to court and told them about it later. His parents were provoked...said all sorts of unimaginable things. The guy reminded them that he had been pleading with them for two years but them no gree...even took their advise and dated other girls that didn't work so he had to do what he had to do.
Today? Na the wife sef dem dey celebrate pass. His parents only reason was tribal matter. She is Ibo, he is yoruba
If it is for a flimsy reason...God won't allow anything bad to happen

7 Likes

Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by ibinaboonline: 6:07pm On Jan 12, 2019
olumyde:
Before creating this topic, I tried to search nairaland to see if there's something like this but I couldn't find. The closest I saw were advices on how to go about things when your parents object to your marital decision.

I am currently at a crossroad in my marital decision. My mother does not want me to marry my fiance because of her mother's behaviour.

This is not a unique issue and I know many people have faced something like that in the past.

I know all the advices but what I want to know experience of people who have gone ahead despite their parents' disapproval.

If you have gotten married without your parents' consent, what was your experience? Can you kindly share, so everyone can learn?
My brother, no matter how many people's experience put together for you to examine, it will not give you an accurate prediction of your future. No two lives are the same and everyone's case is unique. Just use your heart. Finally, I hope you're a born again Christian, it's so much better if you are.

8 Likes

Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by Nobody: 6:08pm On Jan 12, 2019
olumyde:
Before creating this topic, there's something like this but I couldn't find. The closest I saw were advices on how to go about things when your parents object to your marital decision.

This is not a unique issue and I know many people have

I know experience of people who have gone ahead despite their parents' disapproval.

If you have gotten married without your parents' consent, what was your experience? Can you kindly share, so everyone can learn?
Olumide,perhaps i wud av given u d best advise, if u cud break dis down *her mother's behaviour*. Many tins cud b involved,parents sometimes sees wot we cant see in d next 20 yrs ryt now.


However, dat doesnt mean they cud be ryt at all time. Try n see if the reason for ur mum's disapproval is deep (u dont need to lie to ursef), den u can reason wit ur mum. If its minor, go ahead n marry her, but make sure she (ur babe) deserves ur sacrifice.
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by Nobody: 6:08pm On Jan 12, 2019
ibinaboonline:
My brother, no matter how many people's experience put together for you to examine, it will not give you an accurate prediction of your future. No two lives are the same and everyone's case is unique. Just use your heart. Finally, I hope you're a born again Christian, it's so much better if you are.
very true
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by tabithababy(f): 6:08pm On Jan 12, 2019
Na wa angry

Whatever happened to honouring your parents kiss
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by Nobody: 6:08pm On Jan 12, 2019
Willie2015:


He got a mother with a good heart .... not a strong man......some dont actually make it....

Just exactly the same scenario here, my friend got married without parental consent...

Anytime the wife gives birth, the child will die within 7 days... before naming....

Wifey gave birth..... 4 times..... all those kids aint alive....

My guy had accident some yrs after the marriage.... he was driving alone ..... no oncoming vehicle..... none at his back

Drove and hit a big tree..... that was the end.

It is advisable to seek parental consent.....

Even if your parents are traditional herbalists ..... you must find a way to seek their consent.







Are you sure the problems aren't from the husband family?I know of a case where the husband mother vowed to destroy the marriage she didn't consent to....and she succeeded.Dont judge the" goodness" of a woman by her calmness.They can be very deadly.

2 Likes

Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by Nature8(m): 6:09pm On Jan 12, 2019
Tallesty1:
[b]No experience so I will be sharing my senior brother's experience.


Dude came home one day with one tall bae like that from Anambra.


He called the fam together and introduced her as the girl he will marry, Oh Boy.... My old man no even let him finish before he provoke.


He said it ain't happening, that all his kids will marry from my state.

Mumsy calmed him but she sef no support the thing.

Later that night(after the girl don go) he(dad) called us together and started giving reason why we should not marry from another state.

My bro told him that he and the girl don tey so he no fit leave am like that.

I told them to let him marry whoever he likes after all nah he go live with am.


But the reason I supported him be say me sef dey date one girl from Anambra that time.

Mumsy later gree but palee refused so with mom's support, we do strong head go marry her.


To cut the story short, the lady is my dad's favorite daughter in law till today and they're happily married with 4 kids.

2 boys and 2 girls. [/b]



Moral: Sometimes you do the wrong thing for the right thing...

1 Like

Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by djon78(m): 6:09pm On Jan 12, 2019
Had to leave someone my heart beat for because of serious family opposition.
Was the most painful thing I ever had to go through.


I don't even care about this love thing anymore.

Because with all the love still people are divorcing left and right

Life goes on

5 Likes

Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by drmikeadams(m): 6:10pm On Jan 12, 2019
grin
jaszplus12:
A lot of things are involved here... firstly how long you have been dating is very important...I say so because don't ever let go of someone you've dated truthfully for a long time just because someone else does not like her! If you leave her I guarantee you...the next person u will date won't last as long... check with other people's experience... But I truly hope this relationship has seen it all...
Now...your mom doesn't want u to marry her because of HER mother behavior... funny.
Time passes... people change...then what's your dad's opinion?
Carefully coax your mum to see reason..
My experience is nearly the same as my mom felt o was not bouyant enough to marry a girl I'd dated for 8 years prior!
Long story short I followed my heart and went ahead...now the lady was wise enough to impress my mum with wisdom and just fee gifts... today she's the favorite wife among 5 others! Stay focused bro....it always turns out well!
. People don't change....no think am

1 Like

Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by Daeylar(f): 6:10pm On Jan 12, 2019
Moneystopnonsen:
Married against my mother's wish. She never liked my wife when she was babe then in school, simply because she says I give her attention too much more than i give to her.

Fast forward to after 8years of dating her, mum complained about how can i be stuck with one girl when guys where frolicking about.

After Nysc i started planning marriage, mum actually arranged her friends daughter for me, she was hot, but me i overlooked her because I was hell bent on been opposite of what my father was.

3 years ago i married my wife, mum only came for the traditional. She gave me plenty condition for my white and i was like why will my own mum want to sabotage my life simply bcoz of jealosy. Because of her I didn't do white wedding. I went to the registry and married my wife.

Today I have 2 kids and my wife is my back bone, mum still detest her and is pretending, I have made it clear to her you can't love me, love the kids she gave you and dislike her.

Recently she went as far as smearing my wife's image To my younger brothers who are not in Nigeria, I wonder what she wants to gain. So am paying her back with no access to me at all. Until she retraces her step.

If u notice I didn't talk about my dad, he is alive, his an old arse hole for university of Ibadan females both students and hostel female staff, he can gift u a car just to lay u.

Mum is just a control freak. She has lived her marital life yet wants to live another through me, but kole work ooo



This is how you know a man that understands that he is a man.
Thank you for standing up for your wife at every step of the way.
May she continue to make you proud to be her husband kiss

I dislike it when people try to live another life through someone else while living theirs.

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by abbey621(m): 6:11pm On Jan 12, 2019
You are a man, ACT LIKE ONE! If you can't convince your parents the reason why the love of your life will not act like her mother then you have FAILED! Your parents have your best interest at heart, whether you believe it or not but marriage is a life changing decision, you do not only marry your spouse but the entire family as well. The worst thing you can do is bring someone into your life only for her to be detested by your family or for you to be detested by her family, it never ends well. All it takes is one screw up and all the bottled up negative energy becomes unleashed, use your brain man!
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by AFONAMARO: 6:13pm On Jan 12, 2019
olumyde:
Before creating this topic, I tried to search nairaland to see if there's something like this but I couldn't find. The closest I saw were advices on how to go about things when your parents object to your marital decision.

I am currently at a crossroad in my marital decision. My mother does not want me to marry my fiance because of her mother's behaviour.

This is not a unique issue and I know many people have faced something like that in the past.

I know all the advices but what I want to know experience of people who have gone ahead despite their parents' disapproval.

If you have gotten married without your parents' consent, what was your experience? Can you kindly share, so everyone can learn?

Got married without mom's consent. She declined becaue of wifey's tribe.

But today wifey is her best daughter in law

8 Likes

Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by macho44(m): 6:16pm On Jan 12, 2019
Richkid97:
100% support of babymama


Nobody should quote me pls
I share your objectives. Bro

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by hammerFC: 6:17pm On Jan 12, 2019
LynnnCHI:


It's not an abomination.Irs just that their contribution and advise is needed but it's not mandatory to act on it.Myself I am highly intuitive,I won't enter a family where I'm not accepted by the man's parents no matter the pretenses.God forbid!

Even Jesus Christ dusted his feet and left where he wasn't accepted.

My sister, the bible says honour your father and mother so your days will be long.

Many people will not even consider marraige without parental pressure for grand children.

U can sex who u like, but who u marry is family matter.(your parents are the head)
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by uuzba(m): 6:19pm On Jan 12, 2019
hammerFC:
Marriage is not personal but a family matter.

It is an abomination to marry without parental consent.

Afterall, the marriage is as much in the interest of your parents as it is yours.
So if your family is a racist family, you too will continue to be a racist?
You (Man) are the head of your own house. You and your wife are the ones to set the standard you follow in your new home.

7 Likes

Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by Nobody: 6:19pm On Jan 12, 2019
LynnnCHI:


You're a man.Im proud of you.Your wife is lucky!But I think your wife should at this point try win her over since she is now married to you.Yoyr mother's jealousy is understood....A mother also sees their son as husband as well.
Why will a mum see her son as a husband?
If her husband is dead, she should look for divorcee or single elderly man to rob body with instead of wrapping all her world around her son.
Women like that are control freaks, nothing more.
Have seen many of them. They don't end up well. They can go to any length to control their son. With the usual sob stories, I'm your mum and I know what's best for u.
Be independent minded. Mothers and pastors acting as they know too much.
Even you that want to marry, living with somebody as spouse is different from dating.
Make your own choice and bear the consequence.
That is maturity.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by tsinepa: 6:20pm On Jan 12, 2019
dangervu:
In most cases ! Most parents based there judgements on what people have said about a tribe ! Or how a particular tribe had betrayed them .... when our parents don’t want us to get married to certain person there excuses are always lame !

Or church...
Parent not approving marriage cox of church... Still sounds funny to me
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by Memories12411: 6:20pm On Jan 12, 2019
If you want to marry and nobody opposes, please, leave that marriage. If you see everybody clapping and cheering, just know that you are heading towards destruction.

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by hammerFC: 6:22pm On Jan 12, 2019
uuzba:

So if your family is a racist family, you too will continue to be a racist?
You (Man) are the head of your own house. You and your wife are the ones to set the standard you follow in your new home.

Good thing u mention that.

I met one Esan girl, this girl was all over me, then she asked me, are u Esan.

I told her, i am Nigerian, she said are u Esan?

Now, clearly, she is looking to bring an Esan guy back to please her family.

She select black over white, nigeria over ghana and then in Nigeria, she is looking for Esan in particular becos she is Esan.

Wat is wrong with that? Must she carry a non Esan person to her Esan family?
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by Yankee101: 6:22pm On Jan 12, 2019
Valerie47:
God forbid that I marry without their consent

Xisnin:

You are still a child.

Lol

Elder siddon for ground dey see wetin the small gal no fit see on top tree!

Make life happen to her first abi!!

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