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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent (45577 Views)
91-Year-Old Richard Lugner Dies Weeks After Marrying His 42-Year-Old 6th Wife / Drama As Ex-wife Marries Off Daughter Without Father’s Consent / Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by olumyde(m): 6:58pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
cnonyechi: And you have not seen people who went against their parents and have a successful marriage? Thank God for this thread, at least you have read good examples too. 6 Likes |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by olumyde(m): 7:00pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
sampete: And there are people who married with parental consent and didn't have kids for twenty years. Even Abraham and Sarah had delay in having children and they didn't have more than one. 11 Likes |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by zeb04(f): 7:01pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
I married a Yoruba man ( I am an Igbo ) my dad and Mum opposed it but after a while Mum started to give in but my dad was hard bent on saying no. I had to go through my Mum to get to my dad. During the introduction my dad brought all his brothers and all the Chiefs and Honourables home and abroad , all came in with their red caps and staff btw they locked me outside the sitting room. I felt bad for my husband and his people because it became very intimidating. My Mother in-love started to say I am not a bad woman oh pls you can ask about me and stuff. Anyway, married now with a very beautiful daughter. And my dad and mom are very cordial with my husband. Also I am happy I married my husband, very quick to forgive. I don’t think another man would be able to handle my strong will and sharp mouth. 25 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by olumyde(m): 7:02pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
5thElement: Thank you o! � 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by Barney11: 7:03pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
The first girl I met is from Imo state,very beautiful in and out but hot tempered,though I knew how to calm her down then because we loved ourselves very much,the day I brought her home,my dad(RIP) was listening to me,after I finished talking he only told her welcome and we should make sure we keep her comfortable and he left to his room,when ever my dad didn't talk much know that he wasn't interested,it is my mum that will talk on his behalf ,well my mom kept her comfy but couldn't convince my dad,so I broke the news to her later that we can't move on,without saying anything,my dad told me that the marriage won't work because our temper were the same,I asked him how he told me nothing but He can't bury me first.That was my old man talking in riddles,well after broken TV and the rest,we parted ways though I still loved her then but I have met the best who is my wife and we are very happy and she is homely too which is number one thing to search for when looking for a wife.When you marry after like 5years you will see that it is entirely different from ordinary relationship,you will see that the marriage bond extends to outside your nuclear home,but all the same parents differs but it is best to walk away when there is a genuine reason to,like almost all the members of the family kicked against it. 5 Likes |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by uuzba(m): 7:04pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
sacramento1212:To create a country, the first thing the British did was to establish a common Language amonst us. English. English used for writing, for TV, for Radio, for Newspaper, Church.... Those who keep refusing to learm or speak the English are in a permanent state of protest, suspicion or fear. When the two families speak English, there's not much problem. English is spoken by persons who were educated in school. And once you are Educated, you learn that all human beings a are thesame. Black or white. What is still the reason for suspicion again when you and your fiancee know eah other? 2 Likes |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by sacramento1212: 7:04pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
olumyde: Olumide, the decision to either follow parental consent or not completely lies on you the individual. What works for party A may not work for you or what didn't work for party B may work for you. It's all about choice and decision. At the end, you will be the one to wear the shoe and no one here whether with positive or negative advices will enjoy or feel the heat with you. Good luck bro...over and out! 2 Likes |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by Nobody: 7:05pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
hammerFC: |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by sacramento1212: 7:06pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
uuzba: Agreed but can you also do justice to the aspect of Culture and tradition just as you did to language. |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by bedspread: 7:08pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
My Experience.... My wife is not a Nigerian and Mom was afraid of I going for her after my Elder bro had also Married a Foreigner.. I would have listened to her but what kept me was that I heard Clearly from GOD on where I should go , which happened to be the Country of my wife Even when I had better Places to go ... That Privilege I had hearing From GOD Kept me... Dad had little or problem agreeing as long as He was sure that I heard GOD.. it's being Great! Mum has Accepted wifey tho she still not so happy about it! I am so Happy as We see The HAND OF ALMIGHTY GOD, who brought us together daily in our Home... I Remember telling people that if I didn't hear GOD on my Marriage , I won't Marry! My Advise to Anyone seeking for marriage is to Have an empty and open mind... Tell JESUS CHRIST in prayer that you wanna marry.. ( don't give him a choice) He will tell u your choice wherever He/She is.. As long as u have a Honest Mind 9 Likes |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by hammerFC: 7:11pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
LynnnCHI: Some can choose, who to marry, many have done so but could not sustain the marriage. Too many problems. Then, u have those that cannot make a choice becos they are spoilt for choice. This group really dont want to marry anybody. Then, u have those, with pushy parents that is always making friends with intension of potential inlaws. These group of parents think they know best and have done their homework. They will choose your spouse for u. |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by DavidEsq(m): 7:18pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
olumyde:If experience of of of teacher, why then does Psalms 19:7b say that the laws of God are trustworthy and make the inexperienced one wise? So do u c dat experience is not really the best teacher? 1 Like |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by colestephan86: 7:19pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
olumyde:I know few persons that got married without their parents consent. Most of them ladies had to face the music themselves. No matter how hard a guy is or notorious, he wants to know what pedestal you place your own parent , believe me he will never accept you treat his parents carelessly the way you treated yours , when you chose to move into his house with your parents consent. |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by FredAndrew: 7:20pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
Lol we single guys |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by uuzba(m): 7:20pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
sacramento1212:Without a common language we are completely disunited. Anybody marrying another tribe will need to find his own tribalistic reasons for marrying. And you know we have none. Our Chrisitianity has not entered into our cultures. So you can't say because you are both Christians. No way. Nigerians are Chrisitians in English and Juju worshipers in Native Language. This is how we decieve ourselves. And since each person's juju is different, different tribes will never marry. Marriage is a risk you must take into Christianity (Love one another as I have loved you). And this is closely tied to Education (all human beings are thesame). If you trust God, take the risk, show your faith and enjoy your marriage to another tribe person. Tribe does not matter. If you are still afraid; well it's not by force. But Jesus has called you to love one another as he loves all of us, without any exceptions, or excuses. 3 Likes |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by Nobody: 7:21pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
hammerFC:You're correct. Parents are there to guide and not to choose.Left for me,I will only take my parents advice in sustenance of marriage.But to choose?Not again.... Especially when it's coming from a desperate mother. 3 Likes |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by olumyde(m): 7:22pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
samydo: Yes o. It's for people to share their experiences not just advice. |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by Adekdammy: 7:22pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
Do all you can to make sure your mother supports your marrying your fiancee. Make her see reasons that your fiancee mum is not your fiancee Involve elders she respects to talk to her cos your peace and joy is also important Please don't go ahead without her approving the union cos if you do, you are only creating a problem for your "home" Pray to God to melt her heart so that you can marry the lady you love. |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by Nweike1: 7:23pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
My brother, you said your mum doesn't want you to marry ur fiance because of her mother's behavior. Please, heed her advice o. A bad wife is better than bad in laws. I'm speaking from experience |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by 1Sharon(f): 7:24pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
Valerie47: If they told you to kill urself would you do that too? |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by ImaIma1(f): 7:24pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
[right][/right] frankman365: Don't be deceived. Parents are humans and could have their own selfish interests and choices even at the detriment of their children's happiness. We need wisdom to know how to make decisions for our lives. As an adult, it is our lives and not our parents'. They can only guide and not enforce 11 Likes |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by chloride6: 7:25pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
LynnnCHI: Abeg marriage na gamble... |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by 1Sharon(f): 7:25pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
NaijaRoyalty: And what about in proverbs where it says don't provoke ur children? 1 Like |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by PeacenLove2: 7:27pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
LynnnCHI: Yes, 99% of the time, it's always the proposed groom side that rejects the bride to be. Parents just seem to assume a position of power to Make or Mar when it comes to accepting the women. Fact! 99% of the time, the reasons are not sensible. They now turn the woman into an object to be tested, analysed, some even to the extent of ridicule just to see if she will ever be good enough. Such madness. Sadly it's mostly the moms, sisters and aunts that orchestrate this ... maybe to make sure other women become as sad as they are I don't know. A grown ass man, who commands a certain level of respect from home cannot take a woman home and they will tell him they can't accept for some flimsy excuse. As a man, one should know who he is, who he wants, what he wants and where he intends to go. Marriage is of God. Everywhere the devil senses a possibility, he begins to look for vessels to use to destroy it. Anybody could be this vessel. Anybody. I advise a lot of patience but OP need to start carrying himself with such grace that his parents can know he will be nobody's fool. 11 Likes |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by Nobody: 7:27pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
chloride6: Na real gamble jare.Marriage be like alcohol, sometimes you get high and sometimes you're sober. 2 Likes |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by Gcool2(m): 7:28pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
bedspread:u will always know when pastors speak....ekaabo! 1 Like |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by hammerFC: 7:29pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
LynnnCHI: Ok, let us look at it from this perspective, u are a parent, or a mother. How will u like your child not even listening to your contributions about their marriage? Parents have a rough idea of wat their future inlaw should be. They dream too about who u marry. |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by uuzba(m): 7:30pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
bedspread:The creation of Nigeria as a country, is God's call to break uss out of our small-small villages and mix up with each other. Jesus died for all men - Everybody. He didn't select any village and his personal choice. All men. Your family learnt to extend love beyond physical boundry of Africa. The problem with Nigerians is that no matter how much we love and cherish our village and culture, you will not carry it to heaven when you die. Just focus on loving as Jesus asked us to love and all will be well. |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by PeacenLove2: 7:32pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
chloride6: Bros no go gamble your life away o. Yes, there are no guarantees and that's why you need to do your best. That's all, we all do our best and put God first, not man. |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by Willie2015: 7:32pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
alexistaiwo: Alexistaiwo You know nothing....... U will be surprised when the girls parent tell you that you cant marry their daughter.... 1 Like |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by Moneystopnonsen: 7:33pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
It's a fruitless idea trying to win her over because she has done that and believe me when a mother's son tells you it's of no use. You see when I had my first baby, wife did CS, mum came and almost wrecked my home, in fact she verbally insulted my wife and called her a fool, that she gave birth to me for her. I thought I could manage it but things got worse I had to tell her to go. Now that I have my second baby, she just hear am for news, guilty conscience won't even let her tell me she wants to come. Because it will be a no from me LynnnCHI: 6 Likes |
Re: Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent by sacramento1212: 7:33pm On Jan 12, 2019 |
uuzba: Well, i was referring to the aspect of your previous post about the country Nigeria on having a language that connects all not really about tribe when it comes to marriage. It's all about personal decision the tribe one decides to marry from. But when it comes to marriage, even though i attempted an intertribal marriage previously, i no longer desire same again. So that doesn't mean i will condemn an intertribal involvement but rather a personal decision and my choice. |
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