frankman365:
You don't need any experience to know that you shouldn't marry without their consent - my humble opinion.

After God, next is your parents!

That's the most unfortunate advice you can give someone. I married without the consent of my family and I don't regret it.
Why should you sacrifice lifetime happiness in order to please parents that have about 30 years to live.

olumyde:
Before creating this topic, I tried to search nairaland to see if there's something like this but I couldn't find. The closest I saw were advices on how to go about things when your parents object to your marital decision.

I am currently at a crossroad in my marital decision. My mother does not want me to marry my fiance because of her mother's behaviour.

This is not a unique issue and I know many people have faced something like that in the past.

I know all the advices but what I want to know experience of people who have gone ahead despite their parents' disapproval.

If you have gotten married without your parents' consent, what was your experience? Can you kindly share, so everyone can learn?

The bible says honour ur father and mother that your days may be long.

I have seen people who went against their parents and some resulted in d death of one of d spouses.

I have also seen people who went against their parents they r very much alive but sooo unhappy.

How will u feel wen u advise ur children and they decide not to listen.

For ur maraige to be sweet and successful both parents need to bless d union

One world “Horrible”. Getting divorce soon though and am gonna throw a big party for it.

Lesson I learned from it is never allow any of your wife’s elder siblings to live with you.

This is about my Elder Sis.

She wanted to get married to a man who was way older than her, he was practically my dad's age mate. My parents and the church refused to okay the marriage. She threatened to kill herself if she wasn't allowed to marry the man. Parents were forced to okay the marriage.

They have been married for years, no kids. Still praying for them.

Marriage is not personal but a family matter.


It is an abomination to marry without parental consent.


Afterall, the marriage is as much in the interest of your parents as it is yours.

cnonyechi:


The bible says honour ur father and mother that your days may be long.

I have seen people who went against their parents and some resulted in d death of one of d spouses.

I have also seen people who went against their parents they r very much alive but sooo unhappy.

How will u feel wen u advise ur children and they decide not to listen.

[b]For ur maraige to be sweet and successful both parents need to bless d unio[/b]n

If your parents are late nko?

There are a lot who followed their parents and are unhappy for it.

frankman365:
You don't need any experience to know that you shouldn't marry without their consent - my humble opinion.

After God, next is your parents!

OP if you like you self. Follow this advice keenly, I mean keenly especially if your parent were responsible for your upbringing. What you are yet to see, your parents can see from a far. I am not married but have been in 2 serious relationships that almost led to marriage. My parent had problem with one and that one remains my worst night mare till date even till this present minute. I am happy I didn’t make the mistake to continue in that relationship.

agaliboy:
I deeply regretted my decision. That's why I am a divorcee now. My Dad is late but my mum saw through my ex-wife's pretenses, but i was too much in love to listen to her warnings. My ex was from a broken home and I married her as an Unemployed person.

I started seeing the things I didn't even notice during courtship just one month into our marriage. Maybe because we had a long-distance courtship. She was very egoistic, full of malice and never listens to any kind of good advice. We both had strong personalities and I couldn't bear to report her to anybody for the shame of being reminded that I was warned before I married her.

The final straw was when I discovered all the lies and contact she still having with an ex she knew before she met me. She was visiting him behind my back and even collected money from her when she needed some balance to buy a car after I had already given her some money. She lied that it was her brother that gave her the money. The truth came out when her brother came back from the U.K and unknowingly revealed the truth. I got to find out they've had romantic outings together whenever I was out to work.

A quick advise to younger guys: LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHERS. THEY SEE BEHIND THE 'CURTAINS' WHEN IT COMES TO FELLOW WOMEN.

Sorry about that. I will never marry against my parents wish provided their reasons are justified. If they don't consent and provides a valid reason, i will abort mission. That's why before even talking marriage, i must introduce the said lady before them so that if there's anything, it will be known early enough before the pronouncement is made officially.

As long as they are alive, their parental blessings are important.

Tallesty1:
No experience so I will be sharing my senior brother's experience.


Dude came home one day with one tall bae like that from Anambra.


He called the fam together and introduced her as the girl she will marry, Oh Boy.... My old man no even let him finish before he provoke.


He said it ain't happening, that all his kids will marry from my state.

Mumsy calmed him but she sef no support the thing.

Later that night(after the girl don go) he(dad) called us together and started giving reason why we should not marry from another state.

My bro told him that he and the girl don tey so he no fit leave am like that.

I told them to let him marry whoever he likes after all nah he go live with am.


But the reason I supported him be say me sef dey date one girl from Anambra that time.

Mumsy later gree but palee refused so with mom's support, we do strong head go marry her.


To cut the story short, the lady is my dad's favorite daughter in law till today and they're happily married with 4 kids.

2 boys and 2 girls.

More like happily ever after. Experience in both ends abound, some work out well, other may not. Best thing is, be sure of who you are marrying and why

Tallesty1:
No experience so I will be sharing my senior brother's experience.


Dude came home one day with one tall bae like that from Anambra.


He called the fam together and introduced her as the girl she will marry, Oh Boy.... My old man no even let him finish before he provoke.


He said it ain't happening, that all his kids will marry from my state.

Mumsy calmed him but she sef no support the thing.

Later that night(after the girl don go) he(dad) called us together and started giving reason why we should not marry from another state.

My bro told him that he and the girl don tey so he no fit leave am like that.

I told them to let him marry whoever he likes after all nah he go live with am.


But the reason I supported him be say me sef dey date one girl from Anambra that time.

Mumsy later gree but palee refused so with mom's support, we do strong head go marry her.


To cut the story short, the lady is my dad's favorite daughter in law till today and they're happily married with 4 kids.

2 boys and 2 girls.

I don't know why I read your post with apprehension, hoping it ended well. Thank God it did.

Lemme come here and read experience

rottennaija:


More like happily ever after. Experience in both ends abound, some work out well, other may not. Best thing is, be sure of who you are marrying and why

Exactly, otherwise nah only you go suffer am

Thread says those with experience should share. Instead, people are giving unsolicited advice.

ADAMUdaCOWBOY:

I don't know why I read your post with apprehension, hoping it ended well. Thank God it did.

Obviously because there are too many similar stories with a bad ending.

chloride6:


If your parents are late nko?

There are a lot who followed their parents and are unhappy for it.

It's a different thing if the parents are late. Marriage is more between the families than the individuals marrying that's the reason it's very important the parents consent to it if they are still among the living.

Yes, some followed their parents advise and are unhappy while others didn't follow and are also unhappy. The most important thing is let their reasons for objection be valid.

agaliboy:
I deeply regretted my decision. That's why I am a divorcee now. My Dad is late but my mum saw through my ex-wife's pretenses, but i was too much in love to listen to her warnings. My ex was from a broken home and I married her as an Unemployed person.

I started seeing the things I didn't even notice during courtship just one month into our marriage. Maybe because we had a long-distance courtship. She was very egoistic, full of malice and never listens to any kind of good advice. We both had strong personalities and I couldn't bear to report her to anybody for the shame of being reminded that I was warned before I married her.

The final straw was when I discovered all the lies and contact she still having with an ex she knew before she met me. [b]She was visiting him behind my back and even collected money from her when she needed some balance to buy a car after I had already given her some money. She lied that it was her brother that gave her the money. [/b]The truth came out when her brother came back from the U.K and unknowingly revealed the truth. I got to find out they've had romantic outings together whenever I was out to work.

A quick advise to younger guys: LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHERS. THEY SEE BEHIND THE 'CURTAINS' WHEN IT COMES TO FELLOW WOMEN.

I relate with your story very well!!!

A lot of things are involved here... firstly how long you have been dating is very important...I say so because don't ever let go of someone you've dated truthfully for a long time just because someone else does not like her! If you leave her I guarantee you...the next person u will date won't last as long... check with other people's experience... But I truly hope this relationship has seen it all...
Now...your mom doesn't want u to marry her because of HER mother behavior... funny.
Time passes... people change...then what's your dad's opinion?
Carefully coax your mum to see reason..
My experience is nearly the same as my mom felt o was not bouyant enough to marry a girl I'd dated for 8 years prior!
Long story short I followed my heart and went ahead...now the lady was wise enough to impress my mum with wisdom and just fee gifts... today she's the favorite wife among 5 others! Stay focused bro....it always turns out well!

NEalt1:
currently dating a girl my both parents don't like.
I don't care. I'd marry her.
Used my alternate account because she follows me on my main account.... Make I no give am reason to start to misbehave

Lol. She won't misbehave. And if she sees this, she'd still know it's you.

sandra50:

What is the the bad behavior her mother showed that made your mother disapprove of your woman? we need to know before we can say if your mother is right or wrong..then if your mother is wrong you go ahead and marry her.

He isn't looking for advice. He's looking for people to share their experiences so that he can learn from them.

Like he said, talk is cheap indeed.

LegitGirl:


Lol. She won't misbehave. And if she sees this, she'd still know it's you.

Like she's the only girl a guy is dating and his parents doesn't like her?

Moneystopnonsen:
Married against my mother's wish. She never liked my wife when she was babe then in school, simply because she says I give her attention too much more than i give to her.

Fast forward to after 8years of dating her, mum complained about how can i be stuck with one girl when guys where frolicking about.

After Nysc i started planning marriage, mum actually arranged her friends daughter for me, she was hot, but me i overlooked her because I was hell bent on been opposite of what my father was.

3 years ago i married my wife, mum only came for the traditional. She gave me plenty condition for my white and i was like why will my own mum want to sabotage my life simply bcoz of jealosy. Because of her I didn't do white wedding. I went to the registry and married my wife.

Today I have 2 kids and my wife is my back bone, mum still detest her and is pretending, I have made it clear to her you can't love me, love the kids she gave you and dislike her.

Recently she went as far as smearing my wife's image To my younger brothers who are not in Nigeria, I wonder what she wants to gain. So am paying her back with no access to me at all. Until she retraces her step.

If u notice I didn't talk about my dad, he is alive, his an old arse hole for university of Ibadan females both students and hostel female staff, he can gift u a car just to lay u.

Mum is just a control freak. She has lived her marital life yet wants to live another through me, but kole work ooo

Wheew! I read stories like this and realise how blessed I am.

I'm not married yet but soon and I can recall to my mom instances why we can't marry outside Yoruba land but I sat her down and make her understand why marrying another person except my longtime gf would cost my marital life. after all discussion she succumb. she's now my mom best friend, she even side her anytime we have misunderstanding


the good things of this is my dad support anybody even if she's Hausa but she must be educated


I think you should talk to your mom close ally and find time to sit her down when she's in happy mood

agaliboy:
I deeply regretted my decision. That's why I am a divorcee now. My Dad is late but my mum saw through my ex-wife's pretenses, but i was too much in love to listen to her warnings. My ex was from a broken home and I married her as an Unemployed person.

I started seeing the things I didn't even notice during courtship just one month into our marriage. Maybe because we had a long-distance courtship. She was very egoistic, full of malice and never listens to any kind of good advice. We both had strong personalities and I couldn't bear to report her to anybody for the shame of being reminded that I was warned before I married her.

The final straw was when I discovered all the lies and contact she still having with an ex she knew before she met me. She was visiting him behind my back and even collected money from her when she needed some balance to buy a car after I had already given her some money. She lied that it was her brother that gave her the money. The truth came out when her brother came back from the U.K and unknowingly revealed the truth. I got to find out they've had romantic outings together whenever I was out to work.

A quick advise to younger guys: LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHERS. THEY SEE BEHIND THE 'CURTAINS' WHEN IT COMES TO FELLOW WOMEN.

Life is a never tiring teacher. We will keep learning till we leave this earth.

Your mum is looking for the attention and care she lost from their dad from you. Seems you're the only sibling in Nigeria

Moneystopnonsen:
Married against my mother's wish. She never liked my wife when she was babe then in school, simply because she says I give her attention too much more than i give to her.

Fast forward to after 8years of dating her, mum complained about how can i be stuck with one girl when guys where frolicking about.

After Nysc i started planning marriage, mum actually arranged her friends daughter for me, she was hot, but me i overlooked her because I was hell bent on been opposite of what my father was.

3 years ago i married my wife, mum only came for the traditional. She gave me plenty condition for my white and i was like why will my own mum want to sabotage my life simply bcoz of jealosy. Because of her I didn't do white wedding. I went to the registry and married my wife.

Today I have 2 kids and my wife is my back bone, mum still detest her and is pretending, I have made it clear to her you can't love me, love the kids she gave you and dislike her.

Recently she went as far as smearing my wife's image To my younger brothers who are not in Nigeria, I wonder what she wants to gain. So am paying her back with no access to me at all. Until she retraces her step.

If u notice I didn't talk about my dad, he is alive, his an old arse hole for university of Ibadan females both students and hostel female staff, he can gift u a car just to lay u.

Mum is just a control freak. She has lived her marital life yet wants to live another through me, but kole work ooo

A sister married without involving any of us-- I mean nobody! My parents almost died when they heard. ( They had been planning on how to edge out the poor guy, who had stayed with her through thick and thin).But they have calmed down now, and she and her husband are doing well-- it's been over 10 years.
Though I didn't support it, (I felt he stole her then) but bruva, it's your life!
Person wey no get parent no go marry?
I'm currently dating a woman 3 years older, thankfully my mum likes her, but if she didn't, that's her business, I'm not marrying her (mum)
She married her husband and has borne the consequences, I will marry mine and bear it too.
People should be responsible for their actions abeg-- if you get burnt, you blame yourself and non other

kitaatita:

That's the most unfortunate advice you can give someone. I married without the consent of my family and I don't regret it.
Why should you sacrifice lifetime happiness in order to please parents that have about 30 years to live.

God bless u am facing the same challenge

let me share my own experience

the family of my girlfriend then refuse accepting me to date/marry their daughter simply because my uncle had an issue with her(my girl) mum that led to her death. they were bittered on hearing my family name(same with my uncle). my girl gave me an option to eithr get her pregnant or elope with her. she was ready to disobey them, but i was not ready, simply because i couldnt leave all what i have on ground & wasnt capable to foot all her bills then, to avoid her dropping out from school) she refuse to see reasons & later hated me for that

Tallesty1:
No experience so I will be sharing my senior brother's experience.


Dude came home one day with one tall bae like that from Anambra.


He called the fam together and introduced her as the girl he will marry, Oh Boy.... My old man no even let him finish before he provoke.


He said it ain't happening, that all his kids will marry from my state.

Mumsy calmed him but she sef no support the thing.

Later that night(after the girl don go) he(dad) called us together and started giving reason why we should not marry from another state.

My bro told him that he and the girl don tey so he no fit leave am like that.

I told them to let him marry whoever he likes after all nah he go live with am.


But the reason I supported him be say me sef dey date one girl from Anambra that time.

Mumsy later gree but palee refused so with mom's support, we do strong head go marry her.


To cut the story short, the lady is my dad's favorite daughter in law till today and they're happily married with 4 kids.

2 boys and 2 girls.

This is a great story bro with very useful lessons. By the way, what state are you guys from?

The heat in marriage is too much for any man to bear alone.
Don't disobey your parent's advise because in marriage, you need a family in your immediate home/family.

Your mum's advise may safe your neck in the future which you might not see now due to blinded love.

Think, think and think again before you go about it your own way.

I'll share an experience my elder brother had going against father's instructions.

My elder brother had child out of wedlock with a lady from Ikeduru, IMO state but the lady grew up in Owerri. When he brought her to see my parents in abuja, my parents didn't like her attitudes and they made it known to him.

I could remember father telling my brother to cut every ties with the lady because he won't succeed nor live long with a woman as such. Father explained his decision and gave instances to buttress his points, but my elder brother went ahead to marry the girl.

Few years down the lane, father became an umpire to the couples each time they had a fight. He still remained my brother his advice few years ago. Father died a disappointed man seeing how miserable his oldest son became for not listening to him.

It's been 5 years father died yet, the marriage has never been peaceful. My brother became a shadow of his old self. A broke man who can no longer afford to look after himself and his family. He went from grace to grass, filled with regrets.

I pray he gets it right and God forgives him

As a lady it's not wise to go into families that don't want you.If you sense any form of coldness or silent treatment,it's best to abandon that relationship ASAP.I had my own experiences and I never bounded with my ex mom and family members,don't Know why though,maybe because of the conflicting tribes or the fact that it seems everyone eyes was trying to validate the "foreigner".Its very easy for parents to reject women,but of course they don't realize they also have unmarried daughters as well.
I don't think my parents have a say in my choice of spouse.They can only advice but the decision to marry or not lies entirely on me since I will be the one to live with the man.