₦airaland Forum

Thank you so much guys for all the advices , after reading your advices i realise that i was being selfish looking for my own interest to bring the secrets out because im desperate for my wife to give me my own child i taught maybe bringing this out will deliver us from having our own children , but i was not caring about how my brothers and wife will feel about hearing this especially my brother because he is already a broken man who rely on alcohol and the only things that is keeping him alive it is his children nothing else. I have come to conclusion that i will take the little girl for a secret DNA test to find out if she is mine or not and even if the results came she is my daughter i will forever keep this secrets till my last day on earth . My wife is not the same anymore since her last miscarriage she is depressed , loosing appetites and weight i cant bear to see her looking sad everyday she is only 24 please put us in your prayers for God to remember us and put a smile on my wife face again . Thank you

I will advise I try to get the girls DNA secretly. U can buy her a drink and make sure she use straw or anyway possible. Do the Paternity test without telling anybody including ur wife. That girl may not even be urs. If she’s not urs, take d secret to ur grave. If she’s urs, then u need to then seek a way to go about it then.

This kind of secret will not only divyur family, it will affect the innocent girl involved. Be sure before u take any step

No confess ooo, CUS if u do u thunder will strike u ND u will die like it happens in naija movies

@vincent88

Please, let sleeping dog lie.
Some secrets are better left unsaid.

You need to analyze this critically before taking any drastic step. There would be ripple effects.
Now, your conscience is bothering you but immediately you let out the secret your life and d lives of your wife, daughter and brother would never remain the same.

Presently due to your wife's consistent missacarriges you think You are being punished for the sins against your brother. Please, reconcile with God and move on.

Dont bring your wife or brother into this yet. I would advise you conduct a DNA on this girl before you consider confession. For crying out loud, you might be feeling guilty for a child that isnt yours in the first place.

Your brothers ex wife seems very wayward and would cook up any lie just to have you to herself during the wild sex escapade. She might have lied to you, just to have you wrapped around her finger.

If d DNA result comes positive, I will still say kip to yourself. But if your conscience wouldn't let you be you must be ready to face the consequences.

Your wife might divorce you.
Your brother would hate you... remember he's devastated cos he loves his ex wife
You might loose your brother forever.(either he kills himself or zero you out of his life)
He might harm you... kill you
You would never have the daughter and she might hate you for life.

My final conclusion
Do DNA.
If positive, keep quiet and be good to all d kids and your brother.
Reconcile with God and believe you would av ur child.
Dont cause more havocs in the lives of your loved ones.

If DNA is negative, good for you...move on with ur life and be free from guilt.

I feel d child is not yours.
If your mum were alive, she will tell you to kip a sealed lip. After all your brother has invested so much (emotionally, financially) n this girls life....
Seek medical assistance and your wife will conceive.
Please, be wise.

britiko:
@vincent88

Please, let sleeping dog lie.
Some secrets are better left unsaid.

You need to analyze this critically before taking any drastic step. There would be ripple effects.
Now, your conscience is bothering you but immediately you let out the secret your life and d lives of your wife, daughter and brother would never remain the same.

Presently due to your wife's consistent missacarriges you think You are being punished for the sins against your brother. Please, reconcile with God and move on.

Dont bring your wife or brother into this yet. I would advise you conduct a DNA on this girl before you consider confession. For crying out loud, you might be feeling guilty for a child that isnt yours in the first place.

Your brothers ex wife seems very wayward and would cook up any lie just to have you to herself during the wild sex escapade. She might have lied to you, just to have you wrapped around her finger.

If d DNA result comes positive, I will still say kip to yourself. But if your conscience wouldn't let you be you must be ready to face the consequences.

Your wife might divorce you.
Your brother would hate you... remember he's devastated cos he loves his ex wife
You might loose your brother forever.(either he kills himself or zero you out of his life)
He might harm you... kill you
You would never have the daughter and she might hate you for life.

My final conclusion
Do DNA.
If positive, keep quiet and be good to all d kids and your brother.
Reconcile with God and believe you would av ur child.
Dont cause more havocs in the lives of your loved ones.

If DNA is negative, good for you...move on with ur life and be free from guilt.

I feel d child is not yours.
If your mum were alive, she will tell you to kip a sealed lip. After all your brother has invested so much (emotionally, financially) n this girls life....
Seek medical assistance and your wife will conceive.
Please, be wise.

thank you so much very nice advice

Abfinest007:
just cook anoda story convince ur broda to go for a DNA test for all the children tell him u will pay then when d result is out beg him to forgive u

Advice from the pit of hell

eyinjuege:
What is causing your wife's miscarriages? They need to investigate whats causing it.
Get a good hospital for when next she gets pregnant. Some women just need to be placed on aspirin when pregnant, but that's for particular disease conditions in them. Some may have rhesus incompatibiilty and so many other reasons for recurrent miscarriages.
Anyway, as per your child with your brother, if I were in your shoes that secret remains one forever. You're a deadly snake sha, and if i were also in your brother's shoes and find out, I will try to kill you.

Its better to die than live every single day of ur life with the consciousness that you are a betrayal.

It's a serious trauma to deal with.

The best he can do is confess ..and the rest lies with his brother. Whether to use a gun, a matchet or a bazooka

Let sleeping dog lye. Good thing is that the child has your brother's blood too. There are families where nieces and nephews look very much like uncles and aunties they have never met before.
If you tell your brother,bit will cause hatred and he will feel betrayed. Other members of the family will will never trust you
Remove your mind from the child and concentrate on helping your wife have children.

DeLaRue:
This is all about you, you and you. You are not thinking of the others involved in this. You claim the secret is killing you, but disclosing this family secret will 'kill' and do immeasurable damage to several people.

Consider the emotional turmoil this is likely to create in your 'daughter', her three siblings, their father - your brother. Straight away , that's 5 people whose lives may never be the same again after your disclosure. Then, there's your wife who will not forgive you in a hurry for the grave dishonesty of keeping this from her all this while and who may also begin to see you as the source of her pregnancy- related problems.

I fear you're going to end up ruinning a lot of innocent lives.

If anything, you've waited too long. The girl is 10 years old. She's known your brother as his father all along. What on earth would she make of the news that 'uncle' is actually her father. You risk messing this girl up for life. You are about to throw a devastating emotional bomb into her young life.

You had the opportunity to take responsibility and not sleep with that woman. You didn't. You could have come out immediately it happened and do the so-called confession. You didn't.

To come out now would be very selfish. Like I said in my opening, it would be about you satisfying you and you alone.

This is one secret you should keep to yourself, if only for the sake of that little girl.

True talk.
If u still want my advise, here it is.
Take your wife to a gynecologist and find a lasting solution to her continuous miscarriage. Move away from your past, your brothers family and be a man you thought you were without emotions. Don't tell nobody anything. If your brothers wife almost ruin your brothers life, telling him will ruin what's left. This may not be moral or religious but it is political.

Vincent88:
Thank you so much guys for all the advices , after reading your advices i realise that i was being selfish looking for my own interest to bring the secrets out because im desperate for my wife to give me my own child i taught maybe bringing this out will deliver us from having our own children , but i was not caring about how my brothers and wife will feel about hearing this especially my brother because he is already a broken man who rely on alcohol and the only things that is keeping him alive it is his children nothing else. I have come to conclusion that i will take the little girl for a secret DNA test to find out if she is mine or not and even if the results came she is my daughter i will forever keep this secrets till my last day on earth . My wife is not the same anymore since her last miscarriage she is depressed , loosing appetites and weight i cant bear to see her looking sad everyday she is only 24 please put us in your prayers for God to remember us and put a smile on my wife face again . Thank you

Don't keep a secret that may lead u to hell bro.

The Bible says shall a man take fire to his bosom and not be burnt?

You did! So, don't run from the consequence...

1. Your brother will hate you? Yes, but who knows? He would later forgive you.

2. Your wife will hate you? Yes, but for a while!

3. Will it affect the child? Depends on how you both solve it out.

But the trusty is, you wronged that man! He trusted you and brought you into his home. Not every brother is kind enough to do that!

But you betrayed his trust!

You need his forgiveness. Simple! I don't think there's a shortcut.

The consequences you are trying to downplay are indeed the pain you have to face for the gain of correcting the wrong of the past.

Second Note: What if your brother later finds out on his own?

or ...what if his ex-wife comes back to confess to him?

You obviously don't want that, right? So, if you may, do the right thing without delay.

To make it easier, go confess to some elders in your family first and they would know how to resolve it for you.

That's just my own pence! You don't have to listen to it, if you don't like it.

God help you!

Let sleeping dog lay o. We overate sex. There is nothing wrong with fucking your bro wife man. It will have been better to continue fucking her and make your bro happy than doing this shit. Now if he does the blood go dey your head.

Noel1:
Its better to die than live every single day of ur life with the consciousness that you are a betrayal.

It's a serious trauma to deal with.

The best he can do is confess ..and the rest lies with his brother. Whether to use a gun, a matchet or a bazooka

you guys should stop giving this type of usesless advice. Sex is not that serious6

Mr. Vincent, I think you've already figured out the best approach to solving this problem. Simply tell it to your immediate elder brother in a confident manner and together approach your eldest brother & confess. The confession is what will set u free, regardless of his reaction. You were very young & was coerced into doing what you never wished to do. Therefore, any right thinking person will understand your dilemma then. Cheers!

Vincent88:
Yes the story is true im not lying ... thanks the only family i have is my 2 brothers ,the other family members we dont have a very good relationships but i will try to talk to my middle bro who is in dubai to see if he can offer any help to talk to our senior brother . All i want is for this secrets to come out so i can beg for my brother forgiveness and be free

Bro own up your child bro

Children are from God

eyinjuege:
What is causing your wife's miscarriages? They need to investigate whats causing it.
Get a good hospital for when next she gets pregnant. Some women just need to be placed on aspirin when pregnant, but that's for particular disease conditions in them. Some may have rhesus incompatibiilty and so many other reasons for recurrent miscarriages.
Anyway, as per your child with your brother, if I were in your shoes that secret remains one forever. You're a deadly snake sha, and if i were also in your brother's shoes and find out, I will try to kill you.

Lol. This guy harsh. No chill at all at al!

See how he gave reasonable pieces of advice at the beginning only for the mad man to show at the end

Lol. No chill walahi!

Vincent88:
Hello everyone im new to this forum this is my fidst post.

Please pardon my english it is not fluent because im french speaken but im married to your nigerian sister (my wife).

Im vincent by name 30 years old married for 2 years with no child yet. I come from a family of 3 brothers and im the last born. Our dad passed away 20 years ago so it was our mom took care of us she fought so hard for us to have a better life unfortunatly she also passed away 13 years ago i was only 17 , my senior brother, our first born was married with a son 4 years old at that time, my middle brother was studying at the university and i went to stay with my elder brother.

His wife started seducing me anytime my brother is away in a business trips , she will try all her power but i was rejecting her by reminding her that she is my brother wife i will never deceiving him by sleeping with her and she started maltreating me by no giving me foods and giving me lots of housework to do, i never disrespected her and i will do as she said.

I was scared to tell my brother because he is a short tempered man he had so much love for his wife and he wouldnt even believe me. So she carry on with her mission after 2 years later i was just 19 years old she was 27 i gave in by sleeping with her (worst mistake ever) we started doing it lots of times when my brother is away on business or when the son is at school. She was then pregnant by me i have begged her to abort it but she went ahead with the pregnancy , all my brother knew that he was the father and she had a baby girl who is my carbon copy but people cant see it because they will always says she is looking like me but no one had suspect that she is mine even my brother.

After the baby i could not continue sleeping with her she was angry at me , threatened me that she will send me to prìson but i made my mind no to do it again so after 2 years of supporting her madness i had enough that made me leave the house for goods i went to stay with a friend and i was still in good relationship with my brother even he try to find out what was my reason for leaving the house. Imade up some lies he accepted it.

So he and his wife had 2 more children that makes them four 2 boys and 2 girls but he caught her with another man on their matrimonial bed and he went for DNA for their last child because she is very fair like a mixed race compare to her other siblings who are dark skin and the result come up that he was not the biological father so he divorce her but kept the child because he love the child


After the divorce my brother's life is not the same how it used to be , he is broke and he is a alcoholic and womaniser , i have given him money several times to start business but he still spending the money on women and alcohol. I stop giving him money but i do provide foods and school fees for all 4 children.

My problem is that since i got married my wife had three miscarriages, by 4 months she will loose the pregnancy it really broke her hearts and im in so much pain too but i believed that im being punished for having a child with my ex sister in law and my poor wife is paying for something she never did.

I love her so much and i dont want to loose her . No one else knows about this is only me and ex sister in law who knows about this. I really want to Confess and be free but i dont know how to tell this to my wife and brother . My wife adore my brother's child, they spend holidays in our house and my brother has never question the other 3 DNA because he has a strong believe that they are all his except the youngest girl. My daughter, she is now 10 years .

Please advice me on how to bring this matter to him please no insult i regrets my mistake i sometime wish it was a dream . Sorry for the long post

bro you made a mistake ,let it slide in.Dont tell your brother at all that his supposed child is yours at this stage.Mind you,you are "not responsible for his reckless lifestyle,he chose that path you chose yours" as for your wife she is not paying for what she didnt do ,I only pray she is fortunate.

Vincent88:
Im worried about this too because i dont want my secret to lead him to suicide because its already suffering so much since the divorce but myself im not in peace too because hidden it is killing me every singld day. My brother own a house where he is staying with the kids but he does not want anyone to take over the children myself and wife has tried if we can get the kids to live with us or just the 2 girls he has refused saying he cant live without them he has already lost their mother and he cant be apart from them their are his treasures . He bring them to my house every holidays . Do you think i should keep the secrets from my brother and my wife please?

Dont tell ur brother anything. He will die oh. Then from fry pan to another

Vincent88:
Hello everyone im new to this forum this is my fidst post.

Please pardon my english it is not fluent because im french speaken but im married to your nigerian sister (my wife).

Im vincent by name 30 years old married for 2 years with no child yet. I come from a family of 3 brothers and im the last born. Our dad passed away 20 years ago so it was our mom took care of us she fought so hard for us to have a better life unfortunatly she also passed away 13 years ago i was only 17 , my senior brother, our first born was married with a son 4 years old at that time, my middle brother was studying at the university and i went to stay with my elder brother.

His wife started seducing me anytime my brother is away in a business trips , she will try all her power but i was rejecting her by reminding her that she is my brother wife i will never deceiving him by sleeping with her and she started maltreating me by no giving me foods and giving me lots of housework to do, i never disrespected her and i will do as she said.

I was scared to tell my brother because he is a short tempered man he had so much love for his wife and he wouldnt even believe me. So she carry on with her mission after 2 years later i was just 19 years old she was 27 i gave in by sleeping with her (worst mistake ever) we started doing it lots of times when my brother is away on business or when the son is at school. She was then pregnant by me i have begged her to abort it but she went ahead with the pregnancy , all my brother knew that he was the father and she had a baby girl who is my carbon copy but people cant see it because they will always says she is looking like me but no one had suspect that she is mine even my brother.

After the baby i could not continue sleeping with her she was angry at me , threatened me that she will send me to prìson but i made my mind no to do it again so after 2 years of supporting her madness i had enough that made me leave the house for goods i went to stay with a friend and i was still in good relationship with my brother even he try to find out what was my reason for leaving the house. Imade up some lies he accepted it.

So he and his wife had 2 more children that makes them four 2 boys and 2 girls but he caught her with another man on their matrimonial bed and he went for DNA for their last child because she is very fair like a mixed race compare to her other siblings who are dark skin and the result come up that he was not the biological father so he divorce her but kept the child because he love the child


After the divorce my brother's life is not the same how it used to be , he is broke and he is a alcoholic and womaniser , i have given him money several times to start business but he still spending the money on women and alcohol. I stop giving him money but i do provide foods and school fees for all 4 children.

My problem is that since i got married my wife had three miscarriages, by 4 months she will loose the pregnancy it really broke her hearts and im in so much pain too but i believed that im being punished for having a child with my ex sister in law and my poor wife is paying for something she never did.

I love her so much and i dont want to loose her . No one else knows about this is only me and ex sister in law who knows about this. I really want to Confess and be free but i dont know how to tell this to my wife and brother . My wife adore my brother's child, they spend holidays in our house and my brother has never question the other 3 DNA because he has a strong believe that they are all his except the youngest girl. My daughter, she is now 10 years .

Please advice me on how to bring this matter to him please no insult i regrets my mistake i sometime wish it was a dream . Sorry for the long post

She needs medical attention. She most likely has Antiphospholipid Syndrome or Factor 5 Leiden. She develops blood clots during the first trimester that essentially abort the foetus in her womb. Either way, see an obstetrician to help you with that.

The deed is done so just confess ur sin and you never can tell she might forgive u

Vincent88:
My child is the second child of my brother , the first child is 17 years then my daughter who is 10 then a boy 8 and the last child who my brother went for her DNA she is 6 years old. Thank you i will talk with my middle brother to see if he can help me on how to reveals this secret from him. As for the ex wife she is out of the country married with 2 kids she is actually in USA they cant renconcile again . Thanks

Whoever married such a whoring woman again?

Abfinest007:
just cook anoda story convince ur broda to go for a DNA test for all the children tell him u will pay then when d result is out beg him to forgive u

The DNA will be fine since they are brothers except their their mum also played a trick

Vincent88:
We have been to many good hospitals and she is very okey in herslef and the doctors cannot find the exact cause of her miscarriage all they been saying she is fine which is true because she get pregnant easily but it doesnt stays. It is like a spiritual things . Thank you

I dont see the link btwn your wife's recurrent miscarriages and your past sins but you are African so I understand the reasoning.

The truth is, there is something wrong with her womb that you need to find out. Im not sure the hospitals around you are well equipped to diagnose the condition.

That said, since you are hell bent on confessing - go ahead to free your conscience.

Just know that by so doing, you will be destroying so many lives: your brother's, your extended family's, your wife's and that of the child in question.

Some sins are better off taken to the grave but like I said, go clear your conscience and pay the consequences... that's your problem.

Our country is dealing with the shock of Buhari winning- we also have our own problems to deal with.

[quote author=yvelchstores pos t=76119637]what is MJ? Menial jobs?[/quote]Okay put menial jobs in the context, how does it sound??

Lol

Just dey whyne You, meself dey on MJ at the moment

Op. Trust me . Some secrets are better left untold. You messed up. Live with that. Revealing that secret will cause more damage. It will scatter your family and I mean that. Help your brother and those children the much you can. Take you wife to a good hospital. Shikena.

the stranger your brother caught turned him to an alcoholic and ruined his finances, you want to coman add your own
abeg better close your mouth and let that secret die with you.
my 2 cents

Vincent88:
Thank you so much guys for all the advices , after reading your advices i realise that i was being selfish looking for my own interest to bring the secrets out because im desperate for my wife to give me my own child i taught maybe bringing this out will deliver us from having our own children , but i was not caring about how my brothers and wife will feel about hearing this especially my brother because he is already a broken man who rely on alcohol and the only things that is keeping him alive it is his children nothing else. I have come to conclusion that i will take the little girl for a secret DNA test to find out if she is mine or not and even if the results came she is my daughter i will forever keep this secrets till my last day on earth . My wife is not the same anymore since her last miscarriage she is depressed , loosing appetites and weight i cant bear to see her looking sad everyday she is only 24 please put us in your prayers for God to remember us and put a smile on my wife face again . Thank you

I think your wife might be suffering from incompetent cervix.Try to see a doctor to stich the cervix around 11-13 weeks of pregnancy so she can carry the baby to full term.
Try read more about it on the internet.

do not break an already broken man. Ask yourself this question" what will this revelation do to my family? You see the state of your brother? that might be your exact state after this revelation. Somethings are better not said my brother. Pray to God for forgiveness, repent truly and help your brother in every way you can including finding a wife for him( your wife can help hook a friend). It is well.

Please leave this case for now. Your brother may never come out of this.