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Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? - Romance (8) - Nairaland

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Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by BaaleOko: 11:40pm On Mar 11, 2019
The dilemma I'm facing now, I dey based in Yankee and I have pretty much achieved everything a young man can have for an ideal American dream... e remain to find wife but good women dey scarce these days( maybe the good ones are hiding, or I'm not just looking hard enough). Mumsy dey tell me make I go Naija find wife, been communicating with lots of beautiful and amazing (at least online) Naija girls back home, each time I bring up the idea of marriage and I tell them I'm in Yankee...they always seem too excited than necessary, as coded guy wey I be, I already know reasons why. I'm just too scared to take any chances cause marriage ain't no joke... I guess I'm better off just finding a Nigerian girl based here in yankee.

9 Likes

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Nobody: 11:40pm On Mar 11, 2019
Ishilove:

I was genuinely baffled. See how the men here are saying rubbish about Nigerian women. If you look closely and investigate, you will discover that many of these diasporan men have their own issues too.

Fact is there are many well brought Nigerian women, both home based and abroad. Someone who will marry a diasporan man and goes over there to change already has the propensity to, not because she has been exposed to Western feminist ideologies. You need prayer and divine guidance to weed out the wolves in sheep clothing, both male and female.

All these unnecessary casting shows a high level of ignorance and bias against Nigerian women

As a person of truth, the ratio of disappointed people who have brought Nigerian women over is too much as compared to the one that works out.

Usually the only cases of people who are successful is:

1. You have been dating a lady in Nigeria for some time & then something happens, you now travel. She never dated you for your travel plans, she can always be real with you & tell you her mind.

2. You meet a Nigeria lady (in the Abroad) & you marry her.

Any other scenario usually fails, I know you are not happy about this but this is reality whether you accept it or not.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Okuda(m): 11:40pm On Mar 11, 2019
pansophist:
The kind of wife you are looking for will be hard to find in the US (and the west in general). South America, Eastern Europe, Africa and Asia are places you will find women who uphold traditional female qualities and won't expect domestic input from you. As a corollary, you will be required to fulfil traditional masculine duties, especially understanding that bringing home the bacon is solely your responsibility.

Furthermore, any country that has undergone mainstream feminism tends to withers traditional women of which you seek, as they are looked down upon as people suffering from internalized misogyny. Women in the west generally are into career building, placing it above family. I am not married (still in my 20's), albeit, my ex-employer, friends and many Dutch people I know (I live in the Netherlands) actually prefer women from the aforementioned countries, solely for the same reasons you espouse.

its possible to see these set of homely women in western europe but its super rare though. although these set of women still believe the man should do some form of helping on his own part but tothem they are just dissapointed if you dont rather than make it a hell of an issue. then again as you said, you have to bring home the bacon. except if you are not a financial burden on them then you may be good to go.
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Nobody: 11:41pm On Mar 11, 2019
TaminaliaCatapa:
This has been worrisome abeg, I don’t like the idea of bringing any gf from Naija come marry, they mess up real bad.

The Naija girls wey dem born abroad sef, they ain’t any way different from foreigners wey go dey tell you to start sharing house chores 50:50 with dem. There is nothing bad if I do those chores in my own volition, but making it a duty for me is a no-no.

Reason why I cant marry white is obvious, the very immediate point I just made up there, some won’t even let you take your kids back to naija coz it’s shîthole

Please, if you are a
1. Naija married man in a foreign land
2. Didn’t marry here in naija but abroad


How did you get married and what type of woman is she.


Please we wanna learn

9ja girls dey tear eye 4 abroad o.

U probably need an indian wife. I can link u up grin
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by grandstar(m): 11:41pm On Mar 11, 2019
TaminaliaCatapa:
This has been worrisome abeg, I don’t like the idea of bringing any gf from Naija come marry, they mess up real bad.

The Naija girls wey dem born abroad sef, they ain’t any way different from foreigners wey go dey tell you to start sharing house chores 50:50 with dem. There is nothing bad if I do those chores in my own volition, but making it a duty for me is a no-no.

Reason why I cant marry white is obvious, the very immediate point I just made up there, some won’t even let you take your kids back to naija coz it’s shîthole

Please, if you are a
1. Naija married man in a foreign land
2. Didn’t marry here in naija but abroad


How did you get married and what type of woman is she.


Please we wanna learn

Best advice is to go Midway.

I have 2 brothers based in England. My senior married a Turkey and my junior married a Slovak.

Turks(though much richer) are third world like us but are conservative. My brother said his wife married him when he was a pauper that Nigerian girls were always sizing him up. He was born in the UK and his wife's stay was legalised through him

My junior brother married a very lovely Slovak girl. She's extremely down to earth and no pretense about her. My brothers stay was legalised through her as he wasn't born in the UK.

So, go look for a homely Central European chick or Asian babe where you're based. Go for those not born there but are working.

14 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Bizibi(m): 11:42pm On Mar 11, 2019
lefulefu:
its like they are the same age or the lady might be a little older than the man. The lady sef no even dey code tinzs. She go jus dey cast man. U can imagine in d evenings while she dey balcony she go dey shout at d top of her voice tellin d man dat time to prepare dinner don reach make d man no forget to prepare the dinner and ppl go dey hear her dey laugh at d poor man. Hmm i don see tinzs ehncheesy.
mehn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!!!!!!!!!!

1 Like

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Icon79(m): 11:43pm On Mar 11, 2019
Prayer


O pari
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by olas24u(f): 11:56pm On Mar 11, 2019
Where you are located or based is the best place to find a partner.Dint forget nobody comes to separate or support you during quarrels with your partner.
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Okuda(m): 12:04am On Mar 12, 2019
if you marry a well behaved white woman, you would not be missing anything from their naija counterparts except the food and sometimes the naija jokes. but thats all to it I swear.

6 Likes

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by uuzba(m): 12:08am On Mar 12, 2019
Yuugen:
Plenty of gud abroad-born n abroad-raised based Nigerian women. A buddy of mine married one 30years old two years ago in Baltimore U.S, they're happily married with a baby girl now. He was turning 35 n wanted to settle down, no time for play. Raves about how a good wife she is. Am in the U.S n have met nice Naija ladies myself. My elder brother too married a Naija lady Accountant here, two kids now, lovely humble lady, calls me uncle everytime grin. He's in IT. Both have daily 9-5 jobs. She works longer shifts at times like during tax season. Everyone can't be bad, op, maybe u arethe problem or u better yet change ur circle to find who u looking for

Happily married with kids, 2 years ago?
Why does everyone think that having kids in marriage means success?
Married only 2 years and you are summersaulting here?
All the bad things that happen in marriage happen within the first 5 years. Pass the 5 years first, before making mouth.
Some couples even do worse. Repressing negative feelings for years and finally divorcing once the kids reach 17-18, leave the house to enter uni.

5 Likes

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by stevups(m): 12:08am On Mar 12, 2019
wetdick:
Marry a young girl with strong nigerian traditional values that you can groom from nigeria. Submissiveness should be a top priority. You just need to search well and observe her behaviour well.

A second or third generation western born nigerian female is filled with feminist thoughts, they are very unattractive if you want a good and stable marriage
Good of you.
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by cococandy(f): 12:09am On Mar 12, 2019
You’re looking for who to subdue and dominate grin

E go red for you.

You don’t want chores as a duty but I’m sure you will want her financial contribution as a duty. You never start. Life go hard you so.

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by greenprince(m): 12:10am On Mar 12, 2019
NwanyiAwkaetiti:
How about you contribute to the discourse and leave how I look alone? I ain't complaining.

See how she calmly replied the dumbo!
Maximum respect woman. I like your type.

3 Likes

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Nobody: 12:11am On Mar 12, 2019
BaaleOko:
The dilemma I'm facing now, I dey based in Yankee and I have pretty much achieved everything a young man can have for an ideal American dream... e remain to find wife but good women dey scarce these days( maybe the good ones are hiding, or I'm not just looking hard enough). Mumsy dey tell me make I go Naija find wife, been communicating with lots of beautiful and amazing (at least online) Naija girls back home, each time I bring up the idea of marriage and I tell them I'm in Yankee...they always seem too excited than necessary, as coded guy wey I be, I already know reasons why. I'm just too scared to take any chances cause marriage ain't no joke... I guess I'm better off just finding a Nigerian girl based here in yankee.
it's better that way

2 Likes

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by kizyalex10(m): 12:11am On Mar 12, 2019
TaminaliaCatapa:
This has been worrisome abeg, I don’t like the idea of bringing any gf from Naija come marry, they mess up real bad.

The Naija girls wey dem born abroad sef, they ain’t any way different from foreigners wey go dey tell you to start sharing house chores 50:50 with dem. There is nothing bad if I do those chores in my own volition, but making it a duty for me is a no-no.

Reason why I cant marry white is obvious, the very immediate point I just made up there, some won’t even let you take your kids back to naija coz it’s shîthole

Please, if you are a
1. Naija married man in a foreign land
2. Didn’t marry here in naija but abroad


How did you get married and what type of woman is she.


Please we wanna learn
having d same issue bro but that doesnt stop me from getting married.but nt rven d issue of chores but how the whole marriage thing will go.

1 Like

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by bezimo(m): 12:13am On Mar 12, 2019
If you must marry a 9ja girl and bring her over..make sure she sign a prenup..dont go and be unfortunate .

The trend of a larger percentage is that they marry..come to the abroad then discover the system over favours them and then take advantage of it..start misbehaving then divorce the man collect his property and children, leaving him with neither root nor branch..9ja girls are heavy pretenders..she will act all submissive and nice till she come there then you will see her true colours.

Even the 9ja born girls living in the abroad tend to be heavy assholess, very arrogant and proud..so they are not an option.When you look at the whole thing..you find out that black girls from other countries may just be the way forward to find level headed girls with traditional african values..

10 Likes

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by greenprince(m): 12:14am On Mar 12, 2019
BaaleOko:
The dilemma I'm facing now, I dey based in Yankee and I have pretty much achieved everything a young man can have for an ideal American dream... e remain to find wife but good women dey scarce these days( maybe the good ones are hiding, or I'm not just looking hard enough). Mumsy dey tell me make I go Naija find wife, been communicating with lots of beautiful and amazing (at least online) Naija girls back home, each time I bring up the idea of marriage and I tell them I'm in Yankee...they always seem too excited than necessary, as coded guy wey I be, I already know reasons why. I'm just too scared to take any chances cause marriage ain't no joke... I guess I'm better off just finding a Nigerian girl based here in yankee.

Take your time abeg, to avoid stories that touch. Asides a few church girls I know with solid home training, me I avoid Naija girls like plague

1 Like

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by MummyE(f): 12:16am On Mar 12, 2019
Well I would say not everyone fancy d abroad thing except those who are looking for escape route.

If u don't mind just a suggestion so no one should attack me I could recommend someone to you.just saying trust me you won't regret it.

.qwuote author=BaaleOko post=76573538]The dilemma I'm facing now, I dey based in Yankee and I have pretty much achieved everything a young man can have for an ideal American dream... e remain to find wife but good women dey scarce these days( maybe the good ones are hiding, or I'm not just looking hard enough). Mumsy dey tell me make I go Naija find wife, been communicating with lots of beautiful and amazing (at least online) Naija girls back home, each time I bring up the idea of marriage and I tell them I'm in Yankee...they always seem too excited than necessary, as coded guy wey I be, I already know reasons why. I'm just too scared to take any chances cause marriage ain't no joke... I guess I'm better off just finding a Nigerian girl based here in yankee. [/quote]
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Nobody: 12:18am On Mar 12, 2019
I dey here for Sveriges, I am ripe for Marriage. I get this babe Wey I for like marry for Naija, but the urge to stabilize here dey tempt me to Marry my Oyinbo babe Wey be Swedish. What do you think?
NB:
I dey do my M.Sc for here sept (2018-september 2020) and I have till 2020 September to consolidate my stay

1 Like

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Nobody: 12:19am On Mar 12, 2019
TaminaliaCatapa:
This has been worrisome abeg, I don’t like the idea of bringing any gf from Naija come marry, they mess up real bad.

The Naija girls wey dem born abroad sef, they ain’t any way different from foreigners wey go dey tell you to start sharing house chores 50:50 with dem. There is nothing bad if I do those chores in my own volition, but making it a duty for me is a no-no.

Reason why I cant marry white is obvious, the very immediate point I just made up there, some won’t even let you take your kids back to naija coz it’s shîthole

Please, if you are a
1. Naija married man in a foreign land
2. Didn’t marry here in naija but abroad


How did you get married and what type of woman is she.


Please we wanna learn
don't you even think of coming back home to marry Nigeria home based girls ooooo, if you value your life

3 Likes

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by cococandy(f): 12:20am On Mar 12, 2019
Don’t You mean she took loans and went to school to better herself?

You always know the ignorant ones when they claim someone trained another adult in higher education in the USA. Especially someone who’s not earning above 6 figures.

Tuition in America is exorbitant. Most People use loans to go to school. When your naija uncle tells you he trained his wife in school, ask him to tell you the truth.

.
lefulefu:
there is one story i read some yrs back for nairaland frontpage. There was this guy from anambra state based in atlanta and working in a security firm. The bros come dey look for a homebased nigerian wife and im family back home come arrange one village girl for am. The guy marry d guy then train her for nursing school. Omo na wen d lady graduate and come dey work as a nurse na im she jus change am for d guy. She start to dey cheat on d guy and anytime d guy confront am dem go argue and she go call police on d guy for domestic abuse. Eventually she divorce d guy then the court order the guy to vacate im house for the lady plus make the lady get full custody of the two kids plus half of wetin im don invest also goes to d lady. This im ex wife come dey invite one younger black american guy wey come dey smash her for d housecheesy. Na so one afternoon dis guy come snap then enter im ride then drive to im former house wey dis lady dey. Nobody was at home except d lady. D bross start to dey argue with the lady and durin d argue im pull out gun then shoot her then also turned the gun on himself.omo wen i read dat story i jus weakcheesy. D bros for prevent all these heartache from happenin to him by jus dating a girl in america and gettin married to dat one instead of travelling all the way to naija to get the elusive african maiden. Afterall good nigerian girls dey yankee.

7 Likes

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by MummyE(f): 12:21am On Mar 12, 2019
greenprince:


Take your time abeg, to avoid stories that touch. Asides a few church girls I know with solid home training, me I avoid Naija [color=#006600]girls like plague

Truly not every nigerian ladies are like plaques. It's just so unfortunate that immorality, material desires and selfish behavior have corrupted our ladies and I can see some have fallen prey.. Please good girls are still out here[/color]

2 Likes

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by cococandy(f): 12:21am On Mar 12, 2019
Sign prenup on what?

On his house that the bank still owns?

Ignoramus grin

You Nairalanders are hilarious
bezimo:
If you must marry a 9ja girl and bring her over..make sure she sign a prenup..dont go and be unfortunate .

The trend of a larger percentage is that they marry..come to the abroad then discover the system over favours them and then take advantage of it..start misbehaving then divorce the man collect his property and children, leaving him with neither root nor branch..9ja girls are heavy pretenders..she will act all submissive and nice till she come there then you will see her true colours.

Even the 9ja born girls living in the abroad tend to be heavy assholess, very arrogant and proud..so they are not an option.When you look at the whole thing..you find out that black girls from other countries may just be the way forward to find level headed girls with traditional african values..

2 Likes

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by KuwaiitiDinar: 12:22am On Mar 12, 2019
I really want to write on this topic, It is interesting to know that someone wants to know what is going on with singles abroad, I belong to both the west and Africa, although married to the west... Before I start, I really want to state these points... 1. There no special place or country to find a good or a bad wife,
2- Never you pick to change or gloom because if you fail to gloom to what you want, it is really gonna be messy
3. Do not be too rigid about it, learn to let go sometimes
4. Please know yourself... what you can tolerate and what you can never tolerate even at gun point
5. Be relaxed, do not go out every day looking for a wife... just let it happen , meaning; do not look at every woman you meet or see around you as a potential wife
6. Please, please, please never never see a harsh lady around you as a terrible never will be wife, research has shown that they make the best wife, their harshness is just a cover that only a bold mind can uncover to see kindness and love.
7. I will stop at no 7 for now, no woman is soft,... when I hear men say things like ,she is quite, soft spoken, do not want trouble, cannot hurt a fly and so on and so forth, I always have a good laugh, please be informed that every human has a limit and so is a woman, as long you keep within that limit you are fine, otherwise you will be shocked to death on what that so-called quite woman can do. On this I will then go to the topic of the day
FINDING A SIGNIFICANT OTHER WHILE ABROAD .
I will not say much because there is no perimeter to getting a good wife but I must say this....
It might hurt so much if you bring a village girl to the west, give her citizenship and at the end of the day you get a whole lot of bullshit.
It will hurt so much for you to pick a matured lady in terms of age and then, you find out that she is not matured at all... you might not recover from it
I will advise that you open your mind, genuinely without any form of stereotype and in respective of race, Nation, color or tongue...go out there; get attracted, get dated, get funed, get loved, get companioned, get happied, get trusted, then let it happen...get married... I wish you the best ...go for it , It is a wonderful experience !!!

12 Likes

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by OluDare01(m): 12:24am On Mar 12, 2019
Hey, it looks like we're in the same shoes.
BaaleOko:
The dilemma I'm facing now, I dey based in Yankee and I have pretty much achieved everything a young man can have for an ideal American dream... e remain to find wife but good women dey scarce these days( maybe the good ones are hiding, or I'm not just looking hard enough). Mumsy dey tell me make I go Naija find wife, been communicating with lots of beautiful and amazing (at least online) Naija girls back home, each time I bring up the idea of marriage and I tell them I'm in Yankee...they always seem too excited than necessary, as coded guy wey I be, I already know reasons why. I'm just too scared to take any chances cause marriage ain't no joke... I guess I'm better off just finding a Nigerian girl based here in yankee.
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by benji93: 12:24am On Mar 12, 2019
chisco82:
The truth of all these be say what goes around comes around, karma is real. Some of all these our brothers complaining here are there married either a foreign lady who gave him all the support he needed and gave him paper only for him to later divorce her to come home and marry a home breed/Nigerian woman.
They calll it smartness(nwanyi mjiiri nweta akwukwo)
After divorcing her with lame excuses of not being like African woman or not doing what african women does
You think you won’t pay for it especially when she truelly loves you and doing her best to make the marriage work, and you think God will be kind to you, oh! You forgot she’s from a different background and culture totally. So most men are really reaping what they sow.
Let know one start what he/she can not finish, marriage entered into with deception or with selfish mindset will surely crash, be ready give up somethings if you want you marriage to work out.
Good point.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by bezimo(m): 12:25am On Mar 12, 2019
cococandy:
Sign prenup on what?

On his house that the bank still owns?

Ignoramus grin

You Nairalanders are hilarious

House that he may have paid off before bringing the liability wife to come and take adantage of him..You are an idiot for calling your father that..stupid scumy hoe

9 Likes

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by bezimo(m): 12:28am On Mar 12, 2019
lefulefu:
so wat of those american housewives in the suburbs who wash and clean and tend for the kids while the husband is outside hustling for d daily job. See guy if op is jardon or yankee based and he comes back home with the intention of looking for a homebased wife he go jus cast himselfcheesy. The only way u can get a genuine homebased wife if u are based overseas is to have a serious genuine girl while u were in naija and if u happen to port over the other side and u now settled u can get married to her and move her over with u. Any other way na yahoo yahoo naija home based chick u go getcheesy.

Yahoo yahoo fake ass pretending girls grin grin grin

2 Likes

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by oshaosha2014(m): 12:29am On Mar 12, 2019
You better help your life yourself with the white women around you.

dwilliams:
Black women no de where I de, just white women, help a brother please grin

1 Like

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Nobody: 12:29am On Mar 12, 2019
cococandy:
Don’t You mean she took loans and went to school to better herself?

You always know the ignorant ones when they claim someone trained another adult in higher education in the USA. Especially someone who’s not earning above 6 figures.

Tuition in America is exorbitant. Most People use loans to go to school. When your naija uncle tells you he trained his wife in school, ask him to tell you the truth.

.



you are a perfect example why abroad guys should stay away from Naija home based girls

13 Likes

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Bizibi(m): 12:31am On Mar 12, 2019
cococandy:
Don’t You mean she took loans and went to school to better herself?

You always know the ignorant ones when they claim someone trained another adult in higher education in the USA. Especially someone who’s not earning above 6 figures.

Tuition in America is exorbitant. Most People use loans to go to school. When your naija uncle tells you he trained his wife in school, ask him to tell you the truth.

.
hmmmm
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by uuzba(m): 12:31am On Mar 12, 2019
rex444:
My Malaysian ex,( Punjabi) was something else tho we couldn't marry for racial reasons from her family. She was a manager in a radio station but will sweep, wash my clothes,clean toilets n bathroom but all she couldn't do was cook and I ended up teaching her how to cook African food
...couldn't marry for racial reasons?
Either one or both of you are racists na!

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