highalliance:
You shouldn't have employed a domestic help younger than 18 in the first place, now that you have, ensure you bring the attention of her parents to the development.

. Not employed employed like in that sense.. Her parents are aware. Thanks.

send her back home..she don dey get feather!!!

lacapine:
I have a 17 years old maid who would be 18 in June. She came when she was 12 and she is like family now. She is in SS1. My problem is her issues with boys. Always keeping boyfriends of which I discourage her big time. Had to ask her why she keeps them, she said because her classmates/ friends have boyfriends.

I have screamed and threatened but she will still keep. What am I doing wrong? Should I allow her just keep them? I teach her sex education though but she says she isn't sexually active. Today, I saw the picture she and the guy posted on facebook holding each other. I lost it today. I flogged and punished her. I'm I being too hard? How do I help her? We wanted to help her till university days but with these, we are scared and reconsidering sending her back after ss3.

How best do I handle this situation.

Chaii this reminds of the girl, a family though, that stayed with us in those days; 93-94....Mehn that babe like boys, it's a different thing when boys are chasing a girl but serious issue when a young girl like boys... After my mum had tried all her best, she told My Dad one evening that they'll have to return her. My Dad wasn't too supportive but my mum told him to write it down that the girl would get pregnant. Eventually they both agreed to send her back, omo it wasn't up to 2 yrs after that we were told she got pregnant. My mum kept laughing saying she knew it. it was impossible to be behaving like she was and not fall pregnant.

You can as well threaten her by sending her back to her parents maybe during this break from school..if she pleads to come back, then u can now lay down the rules for her return to her, if she has sense and really wants to keep staying with you, she should sit up ones she's back..

Op seems its high time u send her back to her parent so she can go and continue d new found enjoyment she wants....


By the way op how far for una brother matter? Him don pay d money wey ur mum been dey owe out of the money from ur late dads will? Oya answer me

lacapine:
I have a 17 years old maid who would be 18 in June. She came when she was 12 and she is like family now. She is in SS1. My problem is her issues with boys. Always keeping boyfriends of which I discourage her big time. Had to ask her why she keeps them, she said because her classmates/ friends have boyfriends.

I have screamed and threatened but she will still keep. What am I doing wrong? Should I allow her just keep them? I teach her sex education though but she says she isn't sexually active. Today, I saw the picture she and the guy posted on facebook holding each other. I lost it today. I flogged and punished her. I'm I being too hard? How do I help her? We wanted to help her till university days but with these, we are scared and reconsidering sending her back after ss3.

How best do I handle this situation.

At this stage, the best thing to do is to send her back to her people .

The main reason she doesn't listen to or respect you is because she's knows you're not her mother, hence, she feels you can't tell her what to do .

Don't even bother because she'll never listen...she's at the rebellious phase

It always comes to this...

Treat her as you would your own daughter. She's lived with you since 12 and she's becoming a woman in your house.
Just advise her about possible outcomes:

- she will have heartbreak... that sweet talking boy will one day not want to see you
- she could become pregnant
- most men/boys will abandon her if she was to become pregnant, and life will be tough with a mouth to feed
- and if she becomes pregnant, she's off to her parents' house

She's doing the same things most 17-18 year olds do as kongi starts itching. The more you forbid, the more she hides.

GboyegaD:


Funny enough, thought I read SS3. That one tough ooo

Nigerians only concentrate on titles, but pay less attention to details!

UjuJoan2:
I don't subscribe to flogging an 18 year old. If you can no longer control her then send her home.

For me just one thing is important here? Is she still useful to you? Does she still render required services? If yes, then just ignore her. Stop paying too much attention to her social life. But don't miss any opportunity to define to her that if she gets pregnant she will be sent back to her parents ASAP. Just so she is sure of the implications of her actions.

Then you need to inform her parents of what she is doing and the efforts you have made to stop her, and her continuous flouting of rules. Also let them know that you have decided to stop talking about her waywardness since they keep falling on deaf ears, and lastly let them know your plan of returning her if she gets pregnant.. Just so they can start preparing their minds.

Don't give yourself high BP. The fact that you are not her mother already makes you the enemy. She will not believe you mean well for her, rather her adventurous mind will interprete your concerns as a way of preventing her from having fun. At this point, there is not much you can do to change that. She will come to the realization on her own when she is ready

Just let her be!

Ujujoan how would you want your Nobe Prize delivered ?

Madam kindly return her has collected, before things fall apart.. Imagine 17 for that matter..

I personally would advise you do these two things.

1. Tell her that if she gets pregnant, she is returning home with immediate effect. Even if it's 1:00AM in the morning, you're taking her to the park.
2. Call her parents or anyone in charge of her in the village and inform them of her altitude.


Should incase something like this happens, they'll know you did your part.
I sincerely wish her wisdom to do the right thing.

But environment matters alot and the company she keeps.
Is she going to government school?
Is she keeping friends with irresponsible girls or street girls with questionable characters?

lacapine:
okay

Stop Talking, she Has Started Collecting Dick, the Sweetness Will Never Allow Your Talks Stay In Her Head... Package Her For Her Family

lacapine:
I have a 17 years old maid who would be 18 in June. She came when she was 12 and she is like family now. She is in SS1. My problem is her issues with boys. Always keeping boyfriends of which I discourage her big time. Had to ask her why she keeps them, she said because her classmates/ friends have boyfriends.

I have screamed and threatened but she will still keep. What am I doing wrong? Should I allow her just keep them? I teach her sex education though but she says she isn't sexually active. Today, I saw the picture she and the guy posted on facebook holding each other. I lost it today. I flogged and punished her. I'm I being too hard? How do I help her? We wanted to help her till university days but with these, we are scared and reconsidering sending her back after ss3.

How best do I handle this situation.

madam you've tried. It's bad enough that she doesn't respect you enough to listen to you. Don't be too soft on her because you're scared people might say you're mistreating someone's daughter. You have to inform her parents NOW or be ready to start buying baby clothes.

@Lacapine, make I advice you, if you like you take, if you no like you leave am, You see, now she don know man, and she is even doing it without fear, what will end it is, mark my words, when her curves starts to show wella, and she start to use better soap and cream bath, na your hubby go be her next target. Listen, eh, am talking from experience. I know it's hard for you to send her away after her sec sch just like you said, but that will be your best decision. Even if your husband na pastor eh, penis wey u see so no go school oohhhh. So the earlier you send her packing after sec sch. The better for you. Then you can go to look another 12yrs pikin

She feels all grown as she's exposed to lot of things already . she will get hardened to you beatings .. quit hitting her but counsel her , know her friends and possibly her so called bfs .. keep getting close to her and friends. With this , she drops her guard .. she's not too young for sex education too .Finally , watch her closely so she won't be a bad influence to the rest of the family .

OP wan cut one mouth , em never get chance

babyfaceafrica:
send her back home..she don dey get feather!!!

. I agree.

lacapine:
I have a 17 years old maid who would be 18 in June. She came when she was 12 and she is like family now. She is in SS1. My problem is her issues with boys. Always keeping boyfriends of which I discourage her big time. Had to ask her why she keeps them, she said because her classmates/ friends have boyfriends.

I have screamed and threatened but she will still keep. What am I doing wrong? Should I allow her just keep them? I teach her sex education though but she says she isn't sexually active. Today, I saw the picture she and the guy posted on facebook holding each other. I lost it today. I flogged and punished her. I'm I being too hard? How do I help her? We wanted to help her till university days but with these, we are scared and reconsidering sending her back after ss3.

How best do I handle this situation.

Leace her alone to continue giving cheap fvcks. Soon she will learn the hard lessons of life

Say I’m your husband and I’m not secretly fucking the maid, I’ll advise you to send her back now and I’ll continue paying her school fees till she completes WAEC in the village.

lacapine:
. Thanks very much. I really appreciate your advice. I would rather help from far and yes even if she isn't in my house, my joy would be to give her an education at least till university. So help me God. If pregnancy falls on her, the blame won't be on me. My house would be open to her for visits whenever she wants but I won't be her sole guardian like before. Thanks

oil dey your head so act fast no time to check time

Wizywiz:
Op seems its high time u send her back to her parent so she can go and continue d new found enjoyment she wants....


By the way op how far for una brother matter? Him don pay d money wey ur mum been dey owe out of the money from ur late dads will? Oya answer me

. Oh boy eh! You are the real monitoring spirit. He refused, for peace sakes,we let it be. Thanks for checking. Lol.

lacapine:
I have a 17 years old maid who would be 18 in June. She came when she was 12 and she is like family now. She is in SS1. My problem is her issues with boys. Always keeping boyfriends of which I discourage her big time. Had to ask her why she keeps them, she said because her classmates/ friends have boyfriends.

I have screamed and threatened but she will still keep. What am I doing wrong? Should I allow her just keep them? I teach her sex education though but she says she isn't sexually active. Today, I saw the picture she and the guy posted on facebook holding each other. I lost it today. I flogged and punished her. I'm I being too hard? How do I help her? We wanted to help her till university days but with these, we are scared and reconsidering sending her back after ss3.

How best do I handle this situation.

Send her back to her village. Let her go and be dating village boys.

fastseo:
Just advice her and not because of that send her back.
Not necessarily flogging but advice and prayer and she will be fine.

See your sense of judgement?

adisabarber:


Send her back to her village. Let her go and be dating village boys.

Gbam!!!

Madam have you heard this song? Ekitte belle that was my wify asking ever body she don get belle ooh Lord help me.



Trow her out like a virus.

She can't listen, once she knows that thing is sweet, just forget about her, we have one like that, on till she eventually pack out and got pregnant, she didn't finish secondary school, though the guy accepts her, now she should have stop birth.

lacapine:
. Even my biological child, I flog. She doesn't see herself as an outsider and we have such a good relationship. If we didn't, she wouldn't have stayed 6 years and refusing to go. Mind you, she travels home.once in a while and comes back on her own accord. She understands the reason why she is being flogged and this morning, I sat her down and was talking to her again even though I was tired of talking.

Sha ma nomololomo (no beat person pikin child)
If e reach ground them do go hear story oo ..
Ti apa é o ba tile ka .. Fun awon parent e pada .
And I think it just a transition stage of nowadays kids .
Tell her say if see no go Green hear you go send am go in papa house ...
Sha no beat pikin even your own sef ... Dey do small small .

Better send her back to her parents
The blame you will collect on another person's child will not be palatable.
Before your good turn to evil
18 year in ss1 be that sef

I think you re taking this girl issues too seriously

First, u can't stop a girl from having male friends. If you do, u will keep pushing her to seeking solace and advice from this male friends. And u know guys and our way, always forming G and C just to get the cookie.

Be her friend, her confidant, her personal person. Talk things with her. Kids of nowadays are evolving faster growth wise. They pick up things easily, and follow the trend.

How do u win her over those trend? Be her confidant and special adviser. Flog from now till tomorrow, you go TAYA

lacapine:
I have a 17 years old maid who would be 18 in June. She came when she was 12 and she is like family now. She is in SS1. My problem is her issues with boys. Always keeping boyfriends of which I discourage her big time. Had to ask her why she keeps them, she said because her classmates/ friends have boyfriends.

I have screamed and threatened but she will still keep. What am I doing wrong? Should I allow her just keep them? I teach her sex education though but she says she isn't sexually active. Today, I saw the picture she and the guy posted on facebook holding each other. I lost it today. I flogged and punished her. I'm I being too hard? How do I help her? We wanted to help her till university days but with these, we are scared and reconsidering sending her back after ss3.

How best do I handle this situation.

The Case is simple. What type of person is she? Does tell lies? Is she smart? If you find answers to these questions appropriately, like if she's not a liar and she's smart according to yohr views on her, then u need to trust her words that shes not sexually active. So, leave her and let her be free with life. Let her keep growing in wisdom on how to approach life that is gotten through human relationships both males and females. During all these times always frowns at her when she's going astray and advise her always to remind her of her future. She might be the type who knows what she's doing.

lacapine:
I have a 17 years old maid who would be 18 in June. She came when she was 12 and she is like family now. She is in SS1. My problem is her issues with boys. Always keeping boyfriends of which I discourage her big time. Had to ask her why she keeps them, she said because her classmates/ friends have boyfriends.

I have screamed and threatened but she will still keep. What am I doing wrong? Should I allow her just keep them? I teach her sex education though but she says she isn't sexually active. Today, I saw the picture she and the guy posted on facebook holding each other. I lost it today. I flogged and punished her. I'm I being too hard? How do I help her? We wanted to help her till university days but with these, we are scared and reconsidering sending her back after ss3.

How best do I handle this situation.

Pls I want to beg u, don't change your mind from sending her to the university..by so doing God has liberated her thru you and ur family..and God will continue to help you ....
Now to the girls attitude....it's called youthful exuberance..it happened to most pple at that age, but such girl needs guidance, prayer and counseling
Do the following
1. Introduce the bible to her
2. Start attending church program
3. Forcefully stop her from seeing bad friends
4. Seize her fone
5. Educate her abt someone u know who got pregnant abt that age and was abandoned and was unable to finish her sch..
6. Tell her aw she look stupid having a baby without a father
7. Threaten to send her back to her parent if she continues..
God bless you