₦airaland Forum

OkpaNsukkaisBae:
In a typical African village setting! If you as a single man buy a nice and expensive car. The villagers will celebrate you. Then the elders gonna tell you that you're on the path to greatness but not yet there.

D elders will tell you that you're financially buoyant when you have ur own family,, and capable to provide shelter (house),, food and other life necessities 2 ur family without external help.
Dey don't say d same thing to women. Because it's assumed women know dia responsibility in marriage. They're dia as our spare tire,, as our supporter. Not d chief protagonist.

Saffi is actually right!

Ginalex:
This here is relationship (boyfriend girlfriend) not marriage we are talking about...

OkpaNsukkaisBae:
D role of the girlfriend in a relationship is almost d same thing in that of marriage except procreation.

A man in relationship dat cannot spend a reasonable amount of money and time on his girlfriend cannot just suddenly change in marriage.
A lady in relationship dat does not know how to cook or hate cooking cannot suddenly starting cooking in marriage.

There's a reason people engage in courtship.

Saffi:
1. You asked me a question. You asked what do you as a woman CONTRIBUTE to a mans life? This doesn’t mean that without a woman he cannot have these things, however these attributes are things that a woman can additionally add to his life. As human beings we can all decide to function on our own, financially, emotionally. , spiritually etc. A man can make himself happy, he can provide for himself, cook for himself, so why do men decide to get married? We involve ourselves in relationships that can boost these traits and take us to the next level. Isnt this common sense? No man is an island and whether you can provide these things for yourself or not, we still need to interact with the opposite sex for companionship and the attributes associated with it. Duuuhhh

2. If that’s the case, and two heads are better than one, then why can’t bachelors hold the same level of success as married men? Can two male friends provide that emotionally support and motivation that a woman can? Men and women are not wired the same, the words
Of wisdom that a woman can provide is not the same that a man can provide. We can agree to disagree but take a look around you and the truth shall reveal itself to you. Most men do not reach the peak of their success until there is a woman by their side.

3. As for your last paragraph, I don’t know what exactly you want me to say. They’re different forms of working together to reach a common goal. We do not have to be contributing in an identical manner, but we shall get there. The fact that I choose to not financially contribute does not mean my ‘ hands are not on deck’.

I just want to ask you one question, what exactly are you expecting women to contribute in a relationship, disregarding the things that I have already mentioned? Nobody is disputing female independence here, it’s paramount. When a man comes together with a woman, each individual must play their role for the relationship to work out smoothly.

Goddys:
Thank you very much for giving 'success' a new definition. I agree that my neighbour who is married with three kids and constantly has to knock on my door for a little loan has attained peak of 'success' as a result of a woman in her life.

While a bachelor like me is rocking, he is enjoying his 'success' in asking for loan.


Let's try to be reasonable in our argument and not type rubbish because we are privilege to have access to internet and a mobile phone

OkpaNsukkaisBae:
In a typical African village setting! If you as a single man buy a nice and expensive car. The villagers will celebrate you. Then the elders gonna tell you that you're on the path to greatness but not yet there.

D elders will tell you that you're financially buoyant when you have ur own family,, and capable to provide shelter (house),, food and other life necessities 2 ur family without external help.
Dey don't say d same thing to women. Because it's assumed women know dia responsibility in marriage. They're dia as our spare tire,, as our supporter. Not d chief protagonist.

Saffi is actually right!

Mariangeles:
Spare tyre abi ?

That's how you see dependent women abi ??
It's alright.

OkpaNsukkaisBae:
No they're not dependent women. They're independent in their own version. Maybe I should have used another word! (@spare tire)
D point is dat women/ladies are there to support us as far as African culture is concerned! If you're going to follow Western culture,, follow everything about them,, not selecting one among hundred when it fits your narrative.

Most Oyibo women b4 entering marriage will divide d domestic chores between her and d husband with d help of a lawyer. Especially dose men dat don't like d idea of bringing a house maid.

Meaning say... D husband go cook 4 xyz days..d wife go cook 4 ABC days. Cleaning of d house,,washing clothes,,plates,, toilet and bathroom will also divided. 2 dey baff d kids,, change dia diapers will also be divided between two of dem,, paying of electricity bills,, hospital bills,,,school fees,, provision of food amongst others. Some even get official timetable 4 s*x. All dis things will b put into official writing in front of the lawyer.

U as a man,, u dare not default on any of d agreement. Or else you're ready 4 divorce.

Abeg make we dey respect our African ladies/women. Dem dey try. If you gonna change the status quo,, change it completely,,, don't be selfish.

PS = I dey use marriage as example because most times na wetin u see 4 courtship/relationship u go see 4 marriage..
You cannot plant cassava and expect to harvest beans neither will u plant beans and expect to harvest yam. As u make ur bed na so u go take enjoy am!!

Saffi:
And when did I ever talk about demanding anything ? And even if that’s the case, are you not a human being with a mouth that can simply say NO.

I don’t demand, I expect you to do what I desire. And if you can’t do it I move on. There is a huge difference between demanding and expecting. I’m entitled to have any expectation deemed fit, just like any man who expects his woman to act and do things in a certain way. You will not oppress me for having standards. You will not oppress me for desiring a guy with money. You will not oppress me for expecting a guy to spend on me, simply because of your insecurities. You will not guilt trip me into lowering or modifying my standards to fit your preference. If you don’t like it, you can stop quoting me. It’s as simple as abc,

shaybebaby:
Arguing with little Prince before he is washed.. He put my foundation all over his legs

Might have a drop of whiskey to calm my nerves afterwards , you?

OkpaNsukkaisBae:
No they're not dependent women. They're independent in their own version. Maybe I should have used another word! (@spare tire)
D point is dat women/ladies are there to support us as far as African culture is concerned! If you're going to follow Western culture,, follow everything about them,, not selecting one among hundred when it fits your narrative.

[s]Most Oyibo women b4 entering marriage will divide d domestic chores between her and d husband with d help of a lawyer. Especially dose men dat don't like d idea of bringing a house maid.

Meaning say... D husband go cook 4 xyz days..d wife go cook 4 ABC days. Cleaning of d house,,washing clothes,,plates,, toilet and bathroom will also divided. 2 dey baff d kids,, change dia diapers will also be divided between two of dem,, paying of electricity bills,, hospital bills,,,school fees,, provision of food amongst others. Some even get official timetable 4 s*x. All dis things will b put into official writing in front of the lawyer[/s]

U as a man,, u dare not default on any of d agreement. Or else you're ready 4 divorce.

Abeg make we dey respect our African ladies/women. Dem dey try. If you gonna change the status quo,, change it completely,,, don't be selfish.

PS = I dey use marriage as example because most times na wetin u see 4 courtship/relationship u go see 4 marriage..
You cannot plant cassava and expect to harvest beans neither will u plant beans and expect to harvest yam. As u make ur bed na so u go take enjoy am!!

Fadedvoices2:
Were you banned for 1year??

shaybebaby:
Naaah, just busy with life. You know how things are.

Do we know each other?

Fadedvoices2:
I think we always shared same views back then in 2017-early 2018.

My monikers are elder001 and prechbills.

shaybebaby:
Aaah, I remember. What's with the new monicker?

You been keeping good?

Saffi:
Can men stop feeling entitled to a woman’s body once they start dating?

Can men stop feeling entitled to a woman’s food once they start dating?

Can men stop demanding women to clean, do domestic chores for them when they’re not even married?

The fact is that you men can dish it but you can’t take it. Day in and day out, the average naija man will not even be in a common relationship let alone marriage with a babe who cannot provide sex, food and domestic services for him. Yet the minute a babe feels entitled to a mans money, she is a leech and beggar. Jam one correct independent babe and automatically she becomes a feminist and intimidating. You men are so stupid it makes me sick. Better left for you to date each other, at least you men reason on the same level of stupidity, a match made in heaven.

Saffi:
Can men stop feeling entitled to a woman’s body once they start dating?

Can men stop feeling entitled to a woman’s food once they start dating?

Can men stop demanding women to clean, do domestic chores for them when they’re not even married?

The fact is that you men can dish it but you can’t take it. Day in and day out, the average naija man will not even be in a common relationship let alone marriage with a babe who cannot provide sex, food and domestic services for him. Yet the minute a babe feels entitled to a mans money, she is a leech and beggar. Jam one correct independent babe and automatically she becomes a feminist and intimidating. You men are so stupid it makes me sick. Better left for you to date each other, at least you men reason on the same level of stupidity, a match made in heaven.

Omega30:
U this girl again, I know for sure the way u defend girls on nairaland about their bad attributes show u are a bad girl yourself. Look, let's date I can handle u. Cleaning, cooking, washing n sexing are your selling points right.I will gladly provide your needs, but Devil help u if u don't do all your selling points according to the money I spend on you. Meaning if I spend 50k on u monthly. U must cook, clean, wash and sex that amount monthly, otherwise na Gobe o. Since your Love na contract, Saffi let's date. Prove what u preach!!!!

Saffi:
First of all how much is 50k? Darling I don’t deal with Naira I deal with pounds

Second, even if that’s the case, In a courting relationship, the man is the one chasing/impressing the woman. The man hunts and pursues what he desires, so therefore making the most effort. That’s how it’s supposed to be for the relationship to work. So yes, I might decide to cook or clean once in a while during the relationship, however it’s the man duty to win me over to accept his proposal. That’s all I have to say.

Omega30:
Well Sweetheart, in a relationship, I ain't chasing u anymore, we are in a relationship.I play my role as a provider,u play yours as my care taker. If you play your part occasionally, I play mine occasionally too.Sometimes cooking means sometimes spending.
As per 50k, if u are sincere, we are both in Nigeria, so pounds issue is a fallacy baby.

Saffi:
You’re entitled to run your own relationship with your little girls how you please, but I have my standards which is clearly working for me as I’m off the market.

Who told you that I’m in Nigeria? Well believe what you want.

MhizzAJ:
My dear some would never ask if you need anything.
Don't you know some men can be very parasitic in a relationship too? Men are natural providers, let them remain that way.


I don't know why this topic keeps coming up, everybodys relationship can't be the same.
If any woman wants to be in a relationship with any man and be forming independent and getting her stuff herself, it's her own business...No woman should come online and tell other women how to act in their relationships..If the guy isn't tired of giving, why drink panadol for another woman's headache.


As long as a man is in a relationship with any lady, it's part of his responsibility to take care of that lady, the lady should be better than the way he met her.It's not about entitlement mentality.. If he can't take care of me, then what I am doing with him...i cant be with a weakling... it's very annoying

I hate hungry chicks who want the privileges that feminism provides, but they won't take on the responsibility

You can't sit at our table while a man still pays for the clothes your back and the food in your belly!

Husband wife owe each other and are entitled to each others things (to an extent) but if you are a girl, then please pussy is no longer a commodity... so find something else to trade

Mariangeles:
Preach sister preach!

Bloodsucking leeches every damn where!
They can't even pay for their own hair
Dependent Disney princesses,waiting for their knights in shinning armour

You can't blame them, most of them are as smart as a rock

MJBOLT:

one would think ladies should strive for financial independence but some brainless re.tards have turned it to a sex issue because that's the only thing they can offer.just in case,you dont know,men have deep respect for ladies who are financially independent.

MJBOLT:

so i must empty my pockets because i am dating you well no problem,you must worship me as your provider,alpha and omega. once i start providing your financial needs,i own you

I know exactly what you mean sis... asking for help requires you to be humble, these girls want his money and the power to run the relationship
That shi is tyranny and we reject it!

Now imagine if mummy didn't give you those qualities before leaving us

I want to raise boys and girls that only want a partner not to need one! My boys will cook and clean and my girls need to learn the importance of fending for themselves. My son will be no woman's saviour

cyprus000:
In all my life, I've never seen vapidity, stupidity and insipidity so boorishly consummated in imbecility like these ignominious clowns have made possible.

To point the economy as reason for this wanton jejune display, is tantamount to giving a dog a bad name to hang hit. I mean; this is a crying testament of botched upbringing encumbered in labyrinth of sybaritic leeching.


It will be futile trying to force a spark of intellect in these execrable heap of otiosity

cyprus000:
there is nothing obfuscate in my post. if you(or any)find it monumental to discern, then I'm not to be blamed, neither am I oblige to adulterate it to your countenance.

shaybebaby:
Aaah I see! Dear girl, you have just epitomised what happens when girls suspend their thinking and validated the entire OP.

The OP IS about women needing to have more goals, be independent and stop being parasites on the male folk. So in a way, what you say it's not about is exactly what it is about.

What exactly if I may ask is your role in a relationship, what exactly do you have to offer that would make any man think you are exceptional and therefore a worthy life partner. What do you bring to the table asides the "my man must provide mentality?"