Ginalex:
My dear, God bless you jare. Many of them here are guilty of this... See how they're trying so hard to twist the narrative to mean what it's not. No one said dudes shouldn't spend on their babes? Many here lack the ability to comprehend what the OP is about.

Simple be independent... Stop being a leech. Be more... Contribute something... But they'll see no sense in that and would assume you are dating a "broke" dude or a "low life" for telling the truth. These are the ones that see a relationship as a full time job... They feel entitled to a "salary" at the end of the month from the dude because they are "dating".

All what they have to offer in a relationship is SEX AND NOTHING ELSE. Take away that they become confused and powerless... Because they're all a bunch of lazy Dumbass bimbos...

Y'all should GO GET A REAL JOB. HE IS YOUR BF NOT YOUR FATHER OR HUSBAND... WHEW!!

shaybebaby:
Saffi, I will give you this. We have been debating this topic rationally and respectfully, with no name calling and cat fighting. I commend you for that and for that reason, I believe there is a rational young lady behind the misguided thoughts.

I also sense that you mean well but perhaps conditioned by the society around you. That makes it difficult to accept that there may be a better way but still you have engaged and for that, I know you will grow and perhaps reevaluate some of your beliefs with time.

Holla at me girl if you wish, pm me. You deserve more than society has drummed into you. So does your future spouse. He deserves the best version of you you can be and when you are that, you will not accept anyone who is less than the best of themselves. Together you will challenge, grow and help each other be your best versions.

Mariangeles:
You're talking from both sides of your mouth.

The bolded only applies to hardworking women not idle princesses .
You can't use that phrase because it doesn't apply to you .
How can you motive a man when you do nothing ??
What ideas can you bring to the table when you have no idea ??

Are you just going to "motivate" him with sex and comfort every time he needs new ideas ?
He'll easily get bored of you . Heck! You'll bore yourself too.

shaybebaby:

It's great to have standards but please don't set standards that you haven't achieved for yourself. It makes you a hypocrite.

Where you used "I can" with regards to paying your own bills and going out to work, I actually pay my own bills and go out to work without a man contributing a cent.

The essentials in my life, I do and I do brilliantly. Then men who have been in my life spend on me, not because I expect them to but because they choose to and I accept graciously. What more, I spend in return, not because they ask me to but because that's what a relationship is about.. Give and take and all measures and to whatever extent you are capable of.

You have a point in stating that we look for traits that are beneficial to us. But how can you want to constitute a liability and sell that as being of benefit to men?

shaybebaby:

Baby girl, I am all for setting standards. Don't get me wrong.

But whatever standard you are setting for others, make sure you are all of that and more first. This applies to both genders.

A man cannot insist I must cook for instance when he is incapable of doing such himself or even unwilling to do so. Iro! Mba!

Because I would apply the same principles for myself to him, the kitchen doesn't admit people based on gender.

Yet I do cook for my man, as a way of showing I care (I don't even cook for myself) and will always do so when I can as a matter of choice and not because I see it or it has been ascribed to be my duty.

I am pretty much kicking against the sense of entitlement in such a situation and not the act of cooking itself. No one should feel entitled to the resources and skills of others. No one was put on earth just for your wellbeing and neither do you owe anyone else their wellbeing.

If a man wants to take care of you in all its entirety, great! As long as its not you going through life demanding that it is your right, its not.

Just like women don't owe men the nurturing, submissive shtick! Do it because you want to not because it is demanded of you.

crackhaus:

You're not very bright.

A typical case of someone suffering from a condition called the Dunning-Kruger effect, I believe I've typed that to you before in a quote.

All I see from the OP is someone telling women to add value to themselves and not be entitled to a man's money. Personally and as a matter of fact, I even feel a woman can be entitled to a man's gifts and cash ONLY after she has value - not because she is a woman who deserves to be spoilt by men and certainly not because she has a puccy.

If a woman feels she's entitled to my money just because she is a woman, then every other woman is also entitled to it as well. She MUST not be offended or nag me when I decide to start splurging on another woman who has better game than she does. The only thing that will make a man focus his finances on just one woman for a very long time is her VALUE - less the value she adds to the man but more the value she has given herself.

Being a woman who can birth children and create life and so therefore is deserving of men's spoilage (pun intended), IS NOT value but entitlement because there are plenty other women who can do that as well. This is the point.

MhizzAJ:


That's my point, most of them date low lives,i can't even stand ladies like that....how can someone come online and be dictating how a lady should live her life, what and what not to do...I'm not understanding how I would be the man and woman at the same time in a relationship.....

Any man that isn't ready to provide yet should go and work harder....
Nigerian men are so extra...They like free things, they would never stay on their lane.Instead of them to go for their class, they will want to go for high maintenance and when she starts demanding, they will say they can't deal cos she has this "entitlement mentality"

Guest007, I don't reply slowpokes, you are only deceiving yourself online including the poster.

Why is it not attainable anymore? The fact is that men are no longer men, women are constantly emasculating and pampering men, resulting in good for nothing lazy men who look for excuses. We live in an era where they’re so many avenues to make money, not like before where people believed going to school and becoming a doctor is the only way to make it in life. The internet that you use 24 hours to chat with friends can be used to make investments, money transfers, trading and so many countless things. The truth is that one, this generation is so lazy. A man would rather consume his time with sex, alcohol and women. You want to wait for a babe to assist you as the head of the home, and you wonder why women do not respect you anymore. Go to the business section of this site, and see real men who hustle. I’ve met a guy off that section who lives in Qatar he is an orphan, the man came from nothing to something, does he have two heads?

Go and sit down ahbeg. Evolution kor, the fact is that you are lazy and don’t want to work. You are looking for a quick fix that will permanently change your life, it won’t work.

MJBOLT:

so i must empty my pockets because i am dating you well no problem,you must worship me as your provider,alpha and omega. once i start providing your financial needs,i own you