Big men looking for women to help pay their bills for them. It’s pitiful. Looking for a homeboy instead of a lady. I rebuke it, it’s not my portion. You will find your sugar mothers soon.

Saffi:
Big men looking for women to help pay their bills for them. It’s pitiful. Looking for a homeboy instead of a lady. I rebuke it, it’s not my portion. You will find your sugar mothers soon.

Entitlement mentality is the bone of contention here. Let's stick to it and not change the narrative.

Saffi:
Big men looking for women to help pay their bills for them. It’s pitiful. Looking for a homeboy instead of a lady. I rebuke it, it’s not my portion. You will find your sugar mothers soon.

Sometimes I wonder if you are a male behind a female moniker. It seems your goal is to provoke men into hating women. If that is not the case, then you are not very wise afterall.
Men will always be men and women will always be women. No amount of online venting will change anything. You are not making any difference.

Relax.

What you can do is understand how the system works and take advantage of it. Everybody else is responsible for their foolishness.
It is only losers who have more to loose that try so hard to convince others they don't care about that they are foolish.
Let's be honest, it's not like you care about Nairaland men.

You’re absolutely right. Men will always be men and
Women will be women. So as far as I’m concerned, men will continue to spend on women, as it’s been happening since eternity. Men will continue to use their hard earned money catering and pleasing women, which is how it’s supposed to be. Women will continue to nurture and do what they’ve been doing. So yes, I agree with that.

scoory:


Sometimes I wonder if you are a male behind a female moniker. It seems your goal is to provoke men into hating women. If that is not the case, then you are not very wise afterall.
Men will always be men and women will always be women. No amount of online venting will change anything. You are not making any difference.

Relax.

What you can do is understand how the system works and take advantage of it. Everybody else is responsible for their foolishness.
It is only losers who have more to loose that try so hard to convince others they don't care about that they are foolish.
Let's be honest, it's not like you care about Nairaland men.

Saffi:
But give and take is not always going to be an identical transaction. A man can provide in one way and a woman can provide in another way. Why is that so difficult to understand, I don’t get it. So providing compassion, motivation and all these nurturing traits that men naturally look for anyways, are liabilities? I don’t really understand why it’s a must for a woman to contribute financially to a relationship or she automatically becomes useless. When in reality most men do not even desire it, and to conclude men and women are just not the same. I don’t understand how that makes me hypocritical. If a man can desire a great cook but he cannot cook himself, does that also make
Him a hypocrite? A man can desire a virgin when he’s slept with the whole community but nobody bats an eyelid. But the minute a woman want a man with money, people begin to question her financial status like she’s undeserving. To be honest that’s more hypocritical to me.

Baby girl, I am all for setting standards. Don't get me wrong.

But whatever standard you are setting for others, make sure you are all of that and more first. This applies to both genders.

A man cannot insist I must cook for instance when he is incapable of doing such himself or even unwilling to do so. Iro! Mba!

Because I would apply the same principles for myself to him, the kitchen doesn't admit people based on gender.

Yet I do cook for my man, as a way of showing I care (I don't even cook for myself) and will always do so when I can as a matter of choice and not because I see it or it has been ascribed to be my duty.

I am pretty much kicking against the sense of entitlement in such a situation and not the act of cooking itself. No one should feel entitled to the resources and skills of others. No one was put on earth just for your wellbeing and neither do you owe anyone else their wellbeing.

If a man wants to take care of you in all its entirety, great! As long as its not you going through life demanding that it is your right, its not.

Just like women don't owe men the nurturing, submissive shtick! Do it because you want to not because it is demanded of you.

Saffi:
You’re absolutely right. Men will always be men and
Women will be women. So as far as I’m concerned, men will continue to spend on women, as it’s been happening since eternity. Men will continue to use their hard earned money catering and pleasing women, which is how it’s supposed to be. Women will continue to nurture and do what they’ve been doing. So yes, I agree with that.

Yet most of your posts on Nairaland seems to revolve around this "fact". It gives the impression that your life depends on people to accept this "fact".

Why do you need men accept this "fact"?

Well you and I both know that people in general are hypocritical when it comes to this situation. You may be different but unfortunately the minute a woman decides to set certain criteria’s for herself, they scan her like a book as if she’s not worthy. But yet the majority of men do not know how to cook extremely well, yet they are demanding a chef ? So that’s what I’m saying, if you’re going to criticise women about wanting a financially buoyant man when she’s not rich herself, then you need to also need to call out men in the same sentence if you’re going to call it hypocritical, because it makes no sense otherwise.

Like I said I don’t demand, I expect. And if you can’t reach my expectations which I cannot modify to please you, then you can go. And if a man expects you to be nurting and you can’t do it, then you can leave. It’s as simple as abc.

shaybebaby:

Baby girl, I am all for setting standards. Don't get me wrong.

But whatever standard you are setting for others, make sure you are all of that and more first. This applies to both genders.

A man cannot insist I must cook for instance when he is incapable of doing such himself or even unwilling to do so. Iro! Mba!

Because I would apply the same principles for myself to him, the kitchen doesn't admit people based on gender.

Yet I do cook for my man, as a way of showing I care (I don't even cook for myself) and will always do so when I can as a matter of choice and not because I see it or it has been ascribed to be my duty.

I am pretty much kicking against the sense of entitlement in such a situation and not the act of cooking itself. No one should feel entitled to the resources and skills of others. No one was put on earth just for your wellbeing and neither do you owe anyone else their wellbeing.

If a man wants to take care of you in all its entirety, great! As long as its not you going through life demanding that it is your right, its not.

Just like women don't owe men the nurturing, submissive shtick! Do it because you want to not because it is demanded of you.

If you don’t want to accept it, I’m not putting a gun to your head. It’s your fuckinggg business. I log off nl and I live my own life. It’s not a do or die. I state my opinion aggressively which I believe to be factual, but you don’t have to agree with me and quite frankly I don’t care if you don’t.

scoory:


Yet most of your posts on Nairaland seems to revolve around this "fact". It gives the impression that your life depends on people to accept this "fact".

Why do you need men accept this "fact"?

Saffi:
They are running things that is great and they should choose men who are financially above them or somewhat on their level or it will not work, that’s if that haven’t already. And that is truth. Any more questions ?

The book of proverbs says

Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies

The heart of her husband safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil ( gains)

She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands .

She is like the merchants' ship; she bringeth her food from afar

She considereth a field, and buys it : with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard

She girds her loins with strength, and strengthens her arms
She sees that her merchandise is good : and her light does not go out by night ...

Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land

Strength and honour are her clothing...
She opens her mouth with wisdom...

Her children arise and call her blessed ; her husband also, and he praises her ....

Saffi:
If you don’t want to accept it, I’m not putting a gun to your head. It’s your fuckinggg business. I log off nl and I live my own life. It’s not a do or die. I state my opinion aggressively which I believe to be factual, but you don’t have to agree with me and quite frankly I don’t care if you don’t.

Well, that doesn't make any sense.
You have spent more that 30% of your waking hours on the issue.
You obviously care if people agree or not. That is the main reason why any sane person will argue or debate for that long.

I don’t care and as you can see most people on this thread Do not agree with me but I’m still going. I’m Arguing for my own personal satisfaction and getting my point across. Any more questions?

scoory:


Well, that doesn't make any sense.
You have spent more that 30% of your waking hours on the issue.
You obviously care if people agree or not. That is the main reason why any sane person will argue or debate for that long.

lilwetdick:


what is this one saying, this is just gallant rubbish


there are many successful single men without women and do not need them in their lives.

men are more hardworking and goal oriented when they are single than when married

many men nowadays do not need companionship

Most men do not reach the peak of their success until there is a woman by their side( the most ridiculous statement i have ever read), nowadays many single men are building without any motivation or encouragement from women, infact the women are the one discouraging them, many men now are reaching the peak of their career without women by their side.

The MGTOW and red pill movements epitomizes what you're saying. I've personally never needed a woman to get motivated. I've never had a girlfriend tbh. I do FWBs period.

I know I'm different. I'm not one to put up with the conundrums of relationships or whatever it is.

Saffi:
I don’t care and as you can see most people on this thread Do not agree with me but I’m still going. I’m Arguing for my own personal satisfaction and getting my point across. Any more questions?

If everybody agrees with you right now, you will have no reason to argue further.
The reason why you are still arguing is because they have not agreed with you. So you obviously care if they agree with you.
It's simple logic. Please, no serious emotions here.

I just want to understand why you need the validations.

lilwetdick:


something to learn and ponder about... the black men dont build is not only an african american stuff, it is also a nigerian stuff, when they have small money they spend it on entitled women, pathetic

It's pathetic bro. Pussyass men everywhere who can't be selfless enough to empower up and coming talents to become successful.

All they do is feed the monster of entitlement in lazy, low IQ, unproductive women who only know how to spend it on material stuff and sh1t.

Give any of these entitled women some capital to run a business and they'd fvck it up real quick. Their brains are toast. That's why they don't see why they should make their own damn money.

The lowest ones are those who work but still can't touch their money, still whoring around in offices.

Part of a man's success is having a family that's why most successful men are married! But this does not necessarily mean the successes are because of the women. A man may likely be in the path to greatness before considering a wife and things continue on that path. Would you say polygamous men are not successful? Who among the women will claim being responsible for the success?

Saffi:
1. You asked me a question. You asked what do you as a woman CONTRIBUTE to a mans life? This doesn’t mean that without a woman he cannot have these things, however these attributes are things that a woman can additionally add to his life. As human beings we can all decide to function on our own, financially, emotionally. , spiritually etc. A man can make himself happy, he can provide for himself, cook for himself, so why do men decide to get married? We involve ourselves in relationships that can boost these traits and take us to the next level. Isnt this common sense? No man is an island and whether you can provide these things for yourself or not, we still need to interact with the opposite sex for companionship and the attributes associated with it. Duuuhhh

2. If that’s the case, and two heads are better than one, then why can’t bachelors hold the same level of success as married men? Can two male friends provide that emotionally support and motivation that a woman can? Men and women are not wired the same, the words
Of wisdom that a woman can provide is not the same that a man can provide. We can agree to disagree but take a look around you and the truth shall reveal itself to you. Most men do not reach the peak of their success until there is a woman by their side.

3. As for your last paragraph, I don’t know what exactly you want me to say. They’re different forms of working together to reach a common goal. We do not have to be contributing in an identical manner, but we shall get there. The fact that I choose to not financially contribute does not mean my ‘ hands are not on deck’.

I just want to ask you one question, what exactly are you expecting women to contribute in a relationship, disregarding the things that I have already mentioned? Nobody is disputing female independence here, it’s paramount. When a man comes together with a woman, each individual must play their role for the relationship to work out smoothly.

Saffi:
I don’t care and as you can see most people on this thread Do not agree with me but I’m still going. I’m Arguing for my own personal satisfaction and getting my point across. Any more questions?

Between me and you, you actually care. I won't be surprised if you change your stand on this few years time.

After all, reading through your old self "Safia" A lot of things have changed about you. You were 23 then I think.

Na only this Man - provider issue remain.

You have tried for defending your position till then end and I commend you greatly but in your moments, think about what has been said, the world is indeed changing, and we must change or break!

Saffi:
Big men looking for women to help pay their bills for them. It’s pitiful. Looking for a homeboy instead of a lady. I rebuke it, it’s not my portion. You will find your sugar mothers soon.

Stupid people everywhere
Especially that Landin moniker girl patrolling everywhere

DMerciful:
Part of a man's success is having a family that's why most successful men are married! But this does not necessarily mean the successes are because of the women. A man may likely be in the path to greatness before considering a wife and things continue on that path. Would you say polygamous men are not successful? Who among the women will claim being responsible for the success?

My bloda! You better go and marry. Once you marry ehn, the money go dey come yafun yafun.

In short, the more wives the more success. No wonder Solomon was successful . Na him wives give am sense na, as him no get sense before.

truthsayer009:


My bloda! You better go and marry. Once you marry ehn, the money go dey come yafun yafun.

In short, the more wives the more success. No wonder Solomon was successful . Na him wives give am sense na, as him no get sense before.

Lmao!

BLUEJAYY:
It's pathetic bro. Pussyass men everywhere who can't be selfless enough to empower up and coming talents to become successful.

All they do is feed the monster of entitlement in lazy, low IQ, unproductive women who only know how to spend it on material stuff and sh1t.

Give any of these entitled women some capital to run a business and they'd fvck it up real quick. Their brains are toast. That's why they don't see why they should make their own damn money.

The lowest ones are those who work but still can't touch their money, still whoring around in offices.

men need to learn how to be selfish and think about themselves first before any woman that is not your mother or sister, life would have been better if they teach this entitled women that in order to get A, you have to work... when i have a son, i will teach him that his job is not to save any woman from poverty rather himself.

truthsayer009:


My bloda! You better go and marry. Once you marry ehn, the money go dey come yafun yafun.

In short, the more wives the more success. No wonder Solomon was successful . Na him wives give am sense na, as him no get sense before.

according to your logic, all married men na them dey get money die, be like say you never see married men wey no get job for ages

married men are the one suffering in Nigeria, lot of irresponsible responsibility to cater for.

Mariangeles:
Why do most ladies feel entitled to special treatment from guys ?

So what should ladies feel entitled to? Horrible treatment from guys?
Why should a normal human being be annoyed because a woman sets high standards and demands to receive it?

Most of them feel they're entitled to receive calls, texts, gifts, attention... IT'S ANNOYING LADIES!

Why the hell should this be annoying to anyone?
What should we feel entitled to then? to be ignored?
To not be given gifts?
What the hell is this thread?

you miss someone, make that damn call even if it's a guy .
If you think of something nice to say, just say it!
It won't make you look cheap.
You don't have to wait to receive a message from someone you're dying to receive their message, send the message! YOU NO GO DIE !
When you say "I'll call you back" MAKE THE DAMN CALL!
Don't keep enieleni anticipating for a call you promised to make !

This is a good message which you could have just given without the hate and bile you're piling on women (for no reason if i might add) asking and receiving money and things (e.g attention, special treatment) from men

Most ladies would need something, instead of getting it themselves, they'll look for someone (especially a guy) to extort just to get it . IT'S ANNOYING LADIES!

Extort? Please how do women extort anything from these men? Do they carry a gun or carry gangs and force these men to give them money? Do they kidnap the man or his family members or friends and refuse to release said man or friends until their demand are met? Do they use force?
Why these melodramatics all over the place?

If you want something, get it yourself!

Why? If I want something and I ask someone to get it for me and the person agrees to get it for me. Why is your body scratching you? Why are you in pains? Sifia pains non the less

Prove you're an independent woman!

So being an independent woman means you must do everything for and by yourself and can never ask for anything from anyone?
Smh

Stop depending on guys for stipends. IT'S DAMN ANNOYING LADIES! YUCK!
DON'T GIVE YOUR BODY FOR CHEAP GIFTS !

There is nothing wrong with depending on a guy for stipends if she wishes. It's a free world, we must not live like copies of each other, as long as the guy she is asking for doesn't mind, it's no one's business.
Besides.
ITS HER DAMN BODY. IF SHE WANTS TO GIVE IT FOR A GODDAMN TOOTHPICK IT'S HER GODDAMN BUSINESS WHATS YOUR DAMN PROBLEM?

IF YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB, START A BUSINESS!

and after starting all the businesses in the world if she chooses to ask her man for something. Will it stop her?
Mtchewww

STOP BEING BLOODSUCKING LEECHES!

To who? How?
They ask and they get and it's paining you so you brand them as blood sucking leeches. Instead of you to deal with your envy, jealousy and your pain. You're busy throwing tantrums and labeling women foolishly. Learn to mind your business, instead of asking women to start business. Take your own advice and Start one so you can mind it. Stop displaying jealousy and hate all over the place.

When you go on dates, go with cash!
You don't want unfortunate, embarrassing situations!

This is good for the girl. Why does this message need to be accompanied by all the hate and insults to girls who ask for money from men? To the girls who demand special treatment and attention from their men?

Propose to share the bill!

If a girl wants to share the bill. More power to her, if she doesn't, more power to her.
It's disgusting to bash women just because they choose to live a different life from yours. If we don't bash women who share bills then women who don't need to be left alone.

Buy your own clothes!
Pay for your hair and accessories!
Be a BOSS-LADY!

And so what if she doesn't buy her own clothes or pay for her hair or her accessories?

TOO MANY GUYS ARE SAYING THE SAME DAMN SH!T ABOUT Y'ALL HAVING ENTITLEMENT MENTALITY!
IT HAS TO STOP!

The only thing that has to stop is your goddamn hysterics over a girl getting her life funded by a man, getting the attention, texts calls, special treatment she demands from her man.
your jealousy, your envy and your hate, that is what needs to stop
Get help.
This isn't cute nor healthy This ridiculous unnecessary hate towards women who ask for money and clothes and hair is not right.

If you're an independent woman say I

Do you know that someone can be an independent woman and still receive gifts and get everything paid for by her man?
You don't even know what it means to be independent.
You think being independent means you can never ever lean on anyone for anything and no one can help you with anything at all.

Quite pathetic.

Daeylar:

So what should ladies feel entitled to? Horrible treatment from guys?
Why should a normal human being be annoyed because a woman sets high standards and demands to receive it?

Why the hell should this be annoying to anyone?
What should we feel entitled to then? to be ignored?
To not be given gifts?
What the hell is this thread?

This is a good message which you could have just given without the hate and bile you're piling on women (for no reason if i might add) asking and receiving money and things from men

Extort? Please how do women extort anything from these men? Do they carry a gun or carry gangs and force these men to give them money? Do they kidnap the man or his family members or friends and refuse to release said man or friends until their demand are met? Do they use force?
Why these melodramatics all over the place?

Why? If I want something and I ask someone to get it for me and the person agrees to get it for me. Why is your body scratching you? Why are you in pains? Sifia pains non the less

So being an independent woman means you must do everything for and by yourself and can never ask for anything from anyone?
Smh


There is nothing wrong with depending on a guy for stipends if she wishes. It's a free world, we must not live like copies of each other, as long as the guy she is asking for doesn't mind, it's no one's business.
Besides.
ITS HER DAMN BODY. IF SHE WANTS TO GIVE IT FOR A GODDAMN TOOTHPICK IT'S HER GODDAMN BUSINESS WHATS YOUR DAMN PROBLEM?


and after starting all the businesses in the world if she chooses to ask her man for something. Will it stop her?
Mtchewww

To who? How?
They ask and they get and it's paining you so you brand them as blood sucking leeches. Instead of you to deal with your envy, jealousy and your pain. You're busy throwing tantrums and labeling women foolishly. Learn to mind your business, instead of asking women to start business. Take your own advice and Start one so you can mind it. Stop displaying jealousy and hate all over the place.

This is good for the girl. Why does this message need to be accompanied by all the hate and insults to girls who ask for money from men?

If a girl wants to share the bill. More power to her, if she doesn't, more power to her.
It's disgusting to bash women just because they choose to live a different life from yours. If we don't bash women who share bills then women who don't need to be left alone.

And so what if she doesn't buy her own clothes or pay for her hair or her accessories?

The only thing that has to stop is your goddamn hysterics over a girl getting her life funded by a man.
your jealousy, your envy and your hate, that is what needs to stop
Get help.
This isn't cute nor healthy This ridiculous unnecessary hate towards women who ask for money and clothes and hair is not right.

Do you know that someone can be an independent woman and still receive gifts and get everything paid for by her man?
You don't even know what it means to be independent.
You think being independent means you can never ever lean on anyone for anything and no one can help you with anything at all.

Quite pathetic.

All I see is a meaningless rant from a self entitled leech !
Always crying victim.
They hate the truth.

You're here clamouring for stipends while Queens rule the world with new innovations .

https://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2019/04/13/anambra-technovation-girls-ifest-boys-worth-billion-dollars-silicon-valley-group/

Read and be inspired!

Preeeachhhhhhhhhhh!

They think being independent means accepting no favours or gestures from anyone just because I want to prove a point? For what? These men can be so ridiculous it’s unbelievable.

Daeylar:

So what should ladies feel entitled to? Horrible treatment from guys?
Why should a normal human being be annoyed because a woman sets high standards and demands to receive it?

Why the hell should this be annoying to anyone?
What should we feel entitled to then? to be ignored?
To not be given gifts?
What the hell is this thread?

This is a good message which you could have just given without the hate and bile you're piling on women (for no reason if i might add) asking and receiving money and things from men

Extort? Please how do women extort anything from these men? Do they carry a gun or carry gangs and force these men to give them money? Do they kidnap the man or his family members or friends and refuse to release said man or friends until their demand are met? Do they use force?
Why these melodramatics all over the place?

Why? If I want something and I ask someone to get it for me and the person agrees to get it for me. Why is your body scratching you? Why are you in pains? Sifia pains non the less

So being an independent woman means you must do everything for and by yourself and can never ask for anything from anyone?
Smh


There is nothing wrong with depending on a guy for stipends if she wishes. It's a free world, we must not live like copies of each other, as long as the guy she is asking for doesn't mind, it's no one's business.
Besides.
ITS HER DAMN BODY. IF SHE WANTS TO GIVE IT FOR A GODDAMN TOOTHPICK IT'S HER GODDAMN BUSINESS WHATS YOUR DAMN PROBLEM?


and after starting all the businesses in the world if she chooses to ask her man for something. Will it stop her?
Mtchewww

To who? How?
They ask and they get and it's paining you so you brand them as blood sucking leeches. Instead of you to deal with your envy, jealousy and your pain. You're busy throwing tantrums and labeling women foolishly. Learn to mind your business, instead of asking women to start business. Take your own advice and Start one so you can mind it. Stop displaying jealousy and hate all over the place.

This is good for the girl. Why does this message need to be accompanied by all the hate and insults to girls who ask for money from men?

If a girl wants to share the bill. More power to her, if she doesn't, more power to her.
It's disgusting to bash women just because they choose to live a different life from yours. If we don't bash women who share bills then women who don't need to be left alone.

And so what if she doesn't buy her own clothes or pay for her hair or her accessories?

The only thing that has to stop is your goddamn hysterics over a girl getting her life funded by a man.
your jealousy, your envy and your hate, that is what needs to stop
Get help.
This isn't cute nor healthy This ridiculous unnecessary hate towards women who ask for money and clothes and hair is not right.

Do you know that someone can be an independent woman and still receive gifts and get everything paid for by her man?
You don't even know what it means to be independent.
You think being independent means you can never ever lean on anyone for anything and no one can help you with anything at all.

Quite pathetic.

Saffi:
Preeeachhhhhhhhhhh!

They think being independent means accepting no favours or gestures from anyone just because I want to prove a point? For what? These men can be so ridiculous it’s unbelievable.

Don't twist things to suit your narrative .
Nobody said you shouldn't accept gifts.
Just don't demand for it if you're not a wife.

Mariangeles:
Don't twist things to suit your narrative .
Nobody said you shouldn't accept gifts.
Just don't demand for it if you're not a wife.

You telling people how to live their lives?

Smh

There are ladies who also take d initiative to call u and know hw u faring.i so much respect such ladies.

daeylar please

Can you do us all a favor & change your text from Bold to Normal fonts. It's so hard to read, habba!

You want to send your message across forcefully & then we can't even read it.

shaybebaby:
Saffi, I will give you this. We have been debating this topic rationally and respectfully, with no name calling and cat fighting. I commend you for that and for that reason, I believe there is a rational young lady behind the misguided thoughts.

I also sense that you mean well but perhaps conditioned by the society around you. That makes it difficult to accept that there may be a better way but still you have engaged and for that, I know you will grow and perhaps reevaluate some of your beliefs with time.

Holla at me girl if you wish, pm me. You deserve more than society has drummed into you. So does your future spouse. He deserves the best version of you you can be and when you are that, you will not accept anyone who is less than the best of themselves. Together you will challenge, grow and help each other be your best versions.

Me can I Holla at? Be like say u go get plenty connect o, the type I need to give my growing brand viral attention.
.
By the way, your comments are on point. It's obvious you ain't the average Nigerian lady.

Saffi:
Preeeachhhhhhhhhhh!

They think being independent means accepting no favours or gestures from anyone just because I want to prove a point? For what? These men can be so ridiculous it’s unbelievable.

I believe you should be smarter than this na! You went along a whole thread of 8 pages arguing about ENTITLEMENT & not receiving gifts.

If this was about Gifts, we should have close this thread in the 2nd page & called it a day.

Just because a maniac from Family section called Daeylar has come to talk doesn't mean we are all foolish on this thread.

Guest007, are you just here to be a guest? Talk na!