Even without hearing his fathers side,Op clearly has issues.
Wants to get married the same year your mum died,
Absconds from nysc while he can easily have redeployed,
Makes seven figures a year and thinks he is very ok to marry at 26.
OP look inwards,your father means the best for you

My brother , your dad can not be mourning your mum & you are out there celebrating. For God sake you need to flow with the rythm & sponsor the wedding.
To honor your mum you need to sponsor the wedding at least a year. You can't married the same year u lost your mum.
Show her some respect & sponsor the wedding.
If na sex wan make u marry u go have sex tire.trust me on this;am married with 2 kids.

humblespirit:
My brother , your dad can not be mourning your mum & you are out there celebrating. For God sake you need to flow with the rythm & sponsor the wedding.
To honor your mum you need to sponsor the wedding at least a year. You can't married the same year u lost your mum.
Show her some respect & sponsor the wedding.
If na sex wan make u marry u go have sex tire.trust me on this;am married with 2 kids.

Na sex de push am. LOL. The way he mentioned it in the post it’s obvious the girl is telling him no marriage, no sex. After all these years so he’s desperate.

Well in my own opinion
You don't have to live by someone else's rules, Bleep the rules,Bleep the system.
You make your own choices. Its either you always obey him and live the rest of your life regretting it or you think out of the box.
Your old man will surely come around no matter what you do. Just be sure of yourself and be sure of what you want.
Call him look him straight in the eyes and tell him that you can now make choices for yourself. You are no longer a kid but an adult.
Be WISE.

If your Pastor has real spiritual authority, see him and plead with him to stand in for you as your father. He will also need to pray ahead and curtail every curse or spiritual manipulations that may be targeted at you after the act.

In addition, check out your father's spiritual stance, he may not be who he says he is. No man that will not be pleased that his son wants to bring him honor by marrying properly. He may want to frustrate the girl out of your life, they may have been a spiritual covenant that he doesn't want you to break viz a viz, marrying properly before sex and babies.

I also hope you know your girl's stance, spiritually and morally to avoid future regrets.

Finally, pray, pray and pray. You will get victory through prayers. Don't forget to involve your Pastor every step of the way.

Please face front and life. Your life is your cross...create your own happiness. If you find yourself the woman you love, stick to her and forget all else. Invite him and if he doesn't come, no big deal. Get an older friend to stand for you and pay your own dowry and marry your lady. Good thing her parents/people like you. Do a small wedding and carry on with your life.
Many westerners marry without their family- they lived! Look at their countries today. We Africans overburdened ourselves and dwell on superstitions. So what happens if he doesn't attend? Nothing! Your life your choice. He has lived his - this is yours good or bad.
Put God first, do the right thing always and move on with your life.

Marriage26:
Good day nairalander,

I am a popular jingo nairalander but got to hide under this moniker...


I have been dating my fiancee for the past 7 years, she had met my parents and I have met her's many times . We planned to get married earlier year. But it was the year my mother left this planet, I informed my family I wanted to get married but they declined, saying, it must be over years of mumsy's demise before I can marry.


We've fixed introduction days 3ice and it got cancelled by my father, what's his reason?


1. NYSC: I was posted to serve in the Northern part of the country 3 years ago, I went to camp, but I couldn't cope with the weather and couldn't leave my business as NYSC won't guarantee me job and I don't have other option. I absconded from the service and faced my business which I saved profits in 7 digits in same year, God made me comfortable.

2: He said I should rather impregnate the girl (backdoor talk)



I am close to my late 20s, he already banned all family members as many depend on him from attending my introduction.

He cancelled my introduction without fixing a new date.

My in-law trust me and ready to release the lady to me as I haven't had sex with her since 2012 that we've been dating...


And Also, God had supplied all I needed for my wedding from A-Z.



Do you think this is a cogent reason?. I want to ahead with my wedding plans...


Kindly advise....Thanks

You need his blessing and for you to obtain that, you need to humble yourself. But don't go through the backdoor if it's against your conscience. Explain things to him as father and son, make him understand why you have to marry except it's against the tradition of the land to marry few months after the burial of parent. You are a man and you should be able to discuss this with your pale.

Emescot:


Then why are you trying to break the family history, impregnate the girl, if that will make him happy

stipud talk.my hubby broke his.my dear go ahead but be ready for battle.your father is not Good spiritually

Biglittlelois:
Be patient, continue to make money, heed to your dad's advice, he knows best, why are you in a hurry to marry since you are not in your 30s? Or is it sex with her you're eager to taste, though I don't believe you've not had sex with her for 7 years, best of luck anyway.

.....

7years dating experience with no sex is spiritual, I doubt it.
Advice:
it's time u consult ur spiritual-father, 1yr last respect as ur tradition prescribed is not much for ur mum,it's not an accident but incident...
u started dating in secondary sch sha....
listening to 2baba spirituality song will ease d stress.

Ishilove:
The same God who has been arranging your life will break down your father's stony heart. Keep firm because men like you are very, very rare. You are a gem.

A gem? Why? Because he hasn't had sex with his girl?

Judging from one side of the story, I think the OP is a rebellious child (to some extent). Although you don't need anybody's rules or validation on how to live your life but you need to be very careful when it comes to a delicate issue like this. However, no matter how bad you think your father is, he will always remain your father and you need to be mindful of how you drag an issue like this with him.

From your story, it's obvious you're in a rush to marry that girl probably because she gave you an ultimatum which is the reason why you probably label your dad so bad

Anyway it's your life and your decision to make but one thing you should avoid is creating enmity between you and your dad because of your supposed girlfriend

Wisdom is needed to deal with a delicate issue like this not necessarily violence or rebellion

Marriage26:



It's against my faith bro. God had been arranging my life for me since, and this is one of God's institutions , I have to follow his rule..

Please which business are u doing and how can I start, how much to set it up, link me up

Biglittlelois:
Be patient, continue to make money, heed to your dad's advice, he knows best, why are you in a hurry to marry since you are not in your 30s? Or is it sex with her you're eager to taste, though I don't believe you've not had sex with her for 7 years, best of luck anyway.

Can she wait longer? U dint factor her opinion

megareal:
If your Pastor has real spiritual authority, see him and plead with him to stand in for you as your father. He will also need to pray ahead and curtail every curse or spiritual manipulations that may be targeted at you after the act.

In addition, check out your father's spiritual stance, he may not be who he says he is. No man that will not be pleased that his son wants to bring him honor by marrying properly. He may want to frustrate the girl out of your life, they may have been a spiritual covenant that he doesn't want you to break viz a viz, marrying properly before sex and babies.

I also hope you know your girl's stance, spiritually and morally to avoid future regrets.

Finally, pray, pray and pray. You will get victory through prayers. Don't forget to involve your Pastor every step of the way.

may be we understood it differently

his mum passed away early this year and the son wants to marry this year too

i know culture are different, where i came from there should be a year of family morning,

then memorial service is done a year on whether church service or a traditional ceremony

in my culture thats when the hubby is set free to date/remarry to some


so this boy cant morn is mother by allowing the one year the father request ?

ZIMDRILL:



may be we understood it differently

his mum passed away early this year and the son wants to marry this year too

i know culture are different, where i came from there should be a year of family morning,

then memorial service is done a year on whether church service or a traditional ceremony

in my culture thats when the hubby is set free to date/remarry to some


so this boy cant morn is mother by allowing the one year the father request ?

He said his mom died early this year and he's already planning his wedding barely four months after her demise which is one of the reasons why he's having issues with his dad

Marriage26:



My papa no get emotion o... We were brought up with iron hands, bro, the matter pass Abacha regime. He's a dictator... Impregnating before wedding is against my faith but he's surface Christian, and by the way, while growing up, he beats us for not remembering church sermon.


I have met him severally, he never gave any reason, also in the history of the family, I am the first person that want to pay a lady bride price before pregnancy or living together or attempting wedding...

Family altar bro. You are about to do what no one has done in the family and the altars are using your father as the medium to frustrate you. God will help you.

Marriage26:



My papa no get emotion o... We were brought up with iron hands, bro, the matter pass Abacha regime. He's a dictator... Impregnating before wedding is against my faith but he's surface Christian, and by the way, while growing up, he beats us for not remembering church sermon.


I have met him severally, he never gave any reason, also in the history of the family, I am the first person that want to pay a lady bride price before pregnancy or living together or attempting wedding...

Guy, you must follow the way it has being done since inception, don't let it get to your turn and spoil everything, there must be a reason yoir father is insisting on pregnancy before marriage, you met your father on this earth so you must heed to him cause, what an elderly man can see from a distance even if a child carry ladder or use a microscope, the child will never see anything.

@Op
I hope your dad doesn't know something important that could affect your marriage.

Pray as advised. God often guides you if you're fully committed to Him and you learn to listen to the Holy Spirit. If all else fails, you may marry quietly by going to the registry. When your wife gets pregnant (by God's grace), he'll gladly follow you to your inlaws for the traditional marriage.

If he still complains, then you may need to break free from any form of bondage or generational curse....that's because you said no one has married properly in the family (if I got you right).

tosyne2much:
He said his mom died early this year and he's always planning his wedding barely four months after her demise which is one of the reasons why he's having issues with his dad

so i understood it correctly

so this is were he needs to tell us what his tradition or religion says in such situation

in my cutlure no major celebration such as weddings from direct children should be done in less than a year of a parent passing

the father is griving too

Marriage26:



My papa no get emotion o... We were brought up with iron hands, bro, the matter pass Abacha regime. He's a dictator... Impregnating before wedding is against my faith but he's surface Christian, and by the way, while growing up, he beats us for not remembering church sermon.


I have met him severally, he never gave any reason, also in the history of the family, I am the first person that want to pay a lady bride price before pregnancy or living together or attempting wedding...

sums it all bro, its a negative trend in the family. Don't go physical about it tying to persuade the old man. Break the negative circle in prayers and the rest will follow. It's ur personal battle

LilMissFavvy:
Your message isn't clear. Maybe typing error. You didn't state the year your mum died, etc.

Did he said she is dead, you should be asking him the planet she went to... Or Geography is too much in my brain that's why I don't understand"she is not in this planet" and dead"

ZIMDRILL:


so i understood it correctly

so this is were he needs to tell us what his tradition or religion says in such situation

in my cutlure no major celebration such as weddings from direct children should be done in less than a year of a parent passing

the father is griving too

When reading one-sided story it's imperative to use logic when basing your judgment

What I see here is that, although I'm not disputing the fact that his dad might be a sadist, killjoy or control freak but the summary of the whole story is that the OP is in a hurry to get married but his dad seems to be a blockage

you said you have not bleeped this girl for seven years, well, just know that the girl is fucking for the past seven years. if she s the type that goes to church all the time , just know that someone is digging her pussy always but she wont allow you because you have showed her you dont Bleep so she s also covering up as church girl. but she dee nack

Marriage26:
Good day nairalander,

I am a popular jingo nairalander but got to hide under this moniker...


I have been dating my fiancee for the past 7 years, she had met my parents and I have met her's many times . We planned to get married earlier year. But it was the year my mother left this planet, I informed my family I wanted to get married but they declined, saying, it must be over years of mumsy's demise before I can marry.


We've fixed introduction days 3ice and it got cancelled by my father, what's his reason?


1. NYSC: I was posted to serve in the Northern part of the country 3 years ago, I went to camp, but I couldn't cope with the weather and couldn't leave my business as NYSC won't guarantee me job and I don't have other option. I absconded from the service and faced my business which I saved profits in 7 digits in same year, God made me comfortable.

2: He said I should rather impregnate the girl (backdoor talk)



I am close to my late 20s, he already banned all family members as many depend on him from attending my introduction.

He cancelled my introduction without fixing a new date.

My in-law trust me and ready to release the lady to me as I haven't had sex with her since 2012 that we've been dating...


And Also, God had supplied all I needed for my wedding from A-Z.



Do you think this is a cogent reason?. I want to ahead with my wedding plans...


Kindly advise....Thanks

While I agree with the people saying we need parental blessings, what happens to those who have ungodly parents that will turn their life into a living hell? At the end of the day, your dad married & has lived his life but wants to ruin yours.You are the one getting married & not him.You’ll live with the girl & not him.How long do you think your in-laws will keep their daughter on hold for marriage just for you if there’s no progress?If all other ways of getting through to your dad have failed, I’d suggest you try having your pastor talk with him.Do you have uncles or aunts from your mom’s side who don’t depend on him? Then let them sit in for you in place of your parents.If everything else fails, please seek your uncles & Aunts & grandparents blessings together with your pastor & go ahead with the wedding.You cannot stop living because of somebody.I believe as scripture says that “ curses are like flying birds.They cannot hurt us unless we deserve them.” In the meantime, keep praying & fast like Daniel whose answer had been released day one when he prayed but the prince of Persia was opposing.Pray against every opposition.

Marriage26:



My papa no get emotion o... We were brought up with iron hands, bro, the matter pass Abacha regime. He's a dictator... Impregnating before wedding is against my faith but he's surface Christian, and by the way, while growing up, he beats us for not remembering church sermon.


I have met him severally, he never gave any reason, also in the history of the family, I am the first person that want to pay a lady bride price before pregnancy or living together or attempting wedding...

Immediately I read this your last paragraph. Well not to sound too spiritual you need to do some praying about it. You would know about foundations and what they can bring up whenever one dares to be different. Find trusted men/women of God you can relate this to and attack it. I see you coming out victorious. Good luck

tosyne2much:
When reading one-sided story it's imperative to use logic when basing your judgment

What I see here is that, although I'm not disputing the fact that his dad might be a sadist, killjoy or control freak but the summary of the whole story is that the OP is in a hurry to get married but his dad seems to be a blockage

i get you

look at it this way

the boy is in his late 20s , the father has been mostly married to his mum for 20 years

20 year he lived with his wife and all he asking from the son is to wait for a year only,

depending on how the mum passed away he should have asked his mum or what to do with his plans and mum would have said its ok to wed after a short period of her passing


if it was his dad marrying after 3 months of his mom passing away was he going to be ok with it

Your conviction is the ultimate. Ephesians 6:1 "Children obey your parents in the Lord" don't confuse obedient for honour, there are two separate things. From what you've written its clear that your father doesn't want you married yet; I make bold to say that his reasons are against Godly standards, even asking you to impregnate her. Sir if you choose to go ahead, you have the full backing of God. You can only obey your parents when their in the LORD, when there compromise disobedience is not punishable from God. E.g, if ones father asks him to be a native doctor and he declines, is that disobedience? My answer is NO? It is saving your future and securing your destiny. Go ahead and marry the lady if you are sure, she's the one, because assumptions will only lead to regret. Wisdom to end well comes on you IJN. God bless you!

Blingblings:
Am not sure your dad wants your progress.. Freestyle that man and do your thing. Your dad is a sadist, possibly diabolic. Its obvious he's not happy because you don't depend on him. He wants everyone to be under him. Something else dey involved.

Btw, how did your mum die, are you still sure him no use her for sacrifice??

u see ur life

I understand what you're facing. Some dads can be frustrating. This is my advise, I am happy you're a true child of God..Report your dad to his owner , write his name on paper n kabash on his head at night. be on dry fast n see God wrought miraculous for u.



he can't draw u into sin

Marriage26:



It's against my faith bro. God had been arranging my life for me since, and this is one of God's institutions , I have to follow his rule..

I respect your decision to stand for what's right.. Please have more patience and explore every available option to make your dad reason with you.. I'm optimistic you'll have a breakthrough. Regardless of anything, parents blessings go a long way in our lives. believe me