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Father Refused To Attend My Wedding - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by ZIMDRILL(m): 1:04am On Apr 22, 2019
Gabriel99:
Your conviction is the ultimate. Ephesians 6:1 "Children obey your parents in the Lord" don't confuse obedient for honour, there are two separate things. From what you've written its clear that your father doesn't want you married yet; I make bold to say that his reasons are against Godly standards, even asking you to impregnate her. Sir if you choose to go ahead, you have the full backing of God. You can only obey your parents when their in the LORD, when there compromise disobedience is not punishable from God. E.g, if ones father asks him to be a native doctor and he declines, is that disobedience? My answer is NO? It is saving your future and securing your destiny. Go ahead and marry the lady if you are sure, she's the one, because assumptions will only lead to regret. Wisdom to end well comes on you IJN. God bless you!

i think you are missing key things he said that makes it that the boy is driven by desire to marry due the fact that also for 7 years he hasnt slept with her

he "says mom passed away early this year right?"

then he informs family that he once to marry

the key word is mom passes away early this year roughly between jan-feb this is towards end of april meaning we got only march between early this year (jan-feb)

his father said wait for a year, if his father was giving him excuses after a year passed then we would say the father is wrong

we havent even reached half way march of the year and he thinks his father is being stubborn i dont think so

may be that how you do it nigeria am
a non nigeria

1 Like

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Icon79(m): 1:08am On Apr 22, 2019
grin cheesy wink smiley


O pari

Biglittlelois:
Be patient, continue to make money, heed to your dad's advice, he knows best, why are you in a hurry to marry since you are not in your 30s? Or is it sex with her you're eager to taste, though I don't believe you've not had sex with her for 7 years, best of luck anyway.
Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Nobody: 1:13am On Apr 22, 2019
Emescot:
7years and you never enter the place? Wow

He never said he had not entered d place. He said he had not slept with her (on the same bed)
Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Nobody: 1:27am On Apr 22, 2019
Gabriel99:
Your conviction is the ultimate. Ephesians 6:1 "Children obey your parents in the Lord" don't confuse obedient for honour, there are two separate things. From what you've written its clear that your father doesn't want you married yet; I make bold to say that his reasons are against Godly standards, even asking you to impregnate her. Sir if you choose to go ahead, you have the full backing of God. You can only obey your parents when their in the LORD, when there compromise disobedience is not punishable from God. E.g, if ones father asks him to be a native doctor and he declines, is that disobedience? My answer is NO? It is saving your future and securing your destiny. Go ahead and marry the lady if you are sure, she's the one, because assumptions will only lead to regret. Wisdom to end well comes on you IJN. God bless you!

OP, Listen to this 'Bro SU' at ur own peril.

By d time ur village people 're done with u, Bro SU go son run grin
Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by LadyHeaven(f): 1:28am On Apr 22, 2019
Marriage26:



My papa no get emotion o... We were brought up with iron hands, bro, the matter pass Abacha regime. He's a dictator... Impregnating before wedding is against my faith but he's surface Christian, and by the way, while growing up, he beats us for not remembering church sermon.


I have met him severally, he never gave any reason, also in the history of the family, I am the first person that want to pay a lady bride price before pregnancy or living together or attempting wedding...

This is very weird, a normal father would be proud his son is gearing up to be the ist to tow a good path, i wonder why he would be against it, are you sure your popsy isn't diabolical? He doesn't like ppl been richer than him, he doesn't want you to get married before starting a family, this are very weird things, be careful OP, grow your spirit to be stronger and pray for God to open your third eye. GL

1 Like

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by smudge2079(m): 1:28am On Apr 22, 2019
Why not invest in Brighter Grammer.
Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by DukeNija(m): 1:29am On Apr 22, 2019
megareal:
If your Pastor has real spiritual authority, see him and plead with him to stand in for you as your father. He will also need to pray ahead and curtail every curse or spiritual manipulations that may be targeted at you after the act.

In addition, check out your father's spiritual stance, he may not be who he says he is. No man that will not be pleased that his son wants to bring him honor by marrying properly. He may want to frustrate the girl out of your life, they may have been a spiritual covenant that he doesn't want you to break viz a viz, marrying properly before sex and babies.

also hope you know your girl's stance, spiritually and morally to avoid future regrets.

Finally, pray, pray and pray. You will get victory through prayers. Don't forget to involve your Pastor every step of the way.

This is the most important aspect. Everything he does hinges on this. Op this right here should decide if you go ahead or not.
Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by DukeNija(m): 1:32am On Apr 22, 2019
Rosarie:
stipud talk.my hubby broke his.my dear go ahead but be ready for battle.your father is not Good spiritually

Will you advise your sister to marry into such a family given this scenario? Battles for s young couple is not the best option. Avoid it at all cost because it might be too expensive. You might not even enjoy the marriage.

1 Like

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by clemmonce(m): 1:35am On Apr 22, 2019
Marriage26:
Good day nairalander,

I am a popular jingo nairalander but got to hide under this moniker...


I have been dating my fiancee for the past 7 years, she had met my parents and I have met her's many times . We planned to get married earlier year. But it was the year my mother left this planet, I informed my family I wanted to get married but they declined, saying, it must be over years of mumsy's demise before I can marry.


We've fixed introduction days 3ice and it got cancelled by my father, what's his reason?


1. NYSC: I was posted to serve in the Northern part of the country 3 years ago, I went to camp, but I couldn't cope with the weather and couldn't leave my business as NYSC won't guarantee me job and I don't have other option. I absconded from the service and faced my business which I saved profits in 7 digits in same year, God made me comfortable.

2: He said I should rather impregnate the girl (backdoor talk)



I am close to my late 20s, he already banned all family members as many depend on him from attending my introduction.

He cancelled my introduction without fixing a new date.

My in-law trust me and ready to release the lady to me as I haven't had sex with her since 2012 that we've been dating...


And Also, God had supplied all I needed for my wedding from A-Z.



Do you think this is a cogent reason?. I want to ahead with my wedding plans...


Kindly advise....Thanks

I really love your abstinence from sex. It is a good thing. My guy, some fathers are problematic fathers. He said you should impregnate the lady first ? That speaks volume. Here is my little piece of advice, talk to your father understand what is problem is , if it does not hold water, go see some elders in the family explain the issue to them. If they can't do anything and your father is insisting on you not marrying the for un reasonable reasons , my brother go ahead and marry her....Nothing will happen that's has not happen before. You are not the first to do such. And dont forget to pray to God about it. Pray works 100%
Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Ishilove: 1:36am On Apr 22, 2019
don4real18:

A gem? Why? Because he hasn't had sex with his girl?
Because he has vowed not to pay lip service to his faith.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by HisSexcellency(m): 1:40am On Apr 22, 2019
Marriage26:
Good day nairalander,

I am a popular jingo nairalander but got to hide under this moniker...


I have been dating my fiancee for the past 7 years, she had met my parents and I have met her's many times . We planned to get married earlier year. But it was the year my mother left this planet, I informed my family I wanted to get married but they declined, saying, it must be over years of mumsy's demise before I can marry.


We've fixed introduction days 3ice and it got cancelled by my father, what's his reason?


1. NYSC: I was posted to serve in the Northern part of the country 3 years ago, I went to camp, but I couldn't cope with the weather and couldn't leave my business as NYSC won't guarantee me job and I don't have other option. I absconded from the service and faced my business which I saved profits in 7 digits in same year, God made me comfortable.

2: He said I should rather impregnate the girl (backdoor talk)



I am close to my late 20s, he already banned all family members as many depend on him from attending my introduction.

He cancelled my introduction without fixing a new date.

My in-law trust me and ready to release the lady to me as I haven't had sex with her since 2012 that we've been dating...


And Also, God had supplied all I needed for my wedding from A-Z.



Do you think this is a cogent reason?. I want to ahead with my wedding plans...


Kindly advise....Thanks



I'm guessing you will be about 26 - 27years old from your write up. Your father knows quite well that you're not ready for marriage, he's your father and knows you well enough to take that stance for now.
I also believe you're the "churchie" and "religious" type and thus ended up dating a "no-marriage-no-sex" type of girl. So after waiting for 7years and with few bucks in your wallet, you're now in a hurry to marry so as to have access to punna.
Be honest with yourself and face reality, marriage is more than sex.
Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by CASHCOW247(m): 1:44am On Apr 22, 2019
I have almost similar issue to this, but my mum is still alive and she has given her approval.

I am set to go ahead with my wedding with or without my fathers approval.

People here keep talking about fathers blessings, so what about people that don't have fathers, so they are doomed. Let's grow up and face realities.

Even Abraham that became a blessing to all, there is no way recorded that he got is fathers blessings.

@OP, seek Gods approval and blessings. That is all you need to succeed in you life and in you marriage.

1 Like

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by HisSexcellency(m): 1:50am On Apr 22, 2019
CASHCOW247:
I have almost similar issue to this, but my mum is still alive and she has given her approval.

I am set to go ahead with my wedding with or without my fathers approval.

People here keep talking about fathers blessings, so what about people that don't have fathers, so they are doomed. Let's grow up and face realities.

Even Abraham that became a blessing to all, there is no way recorded that he got is fathers blessings.

@OP, seek Gods approval and blessings. That is all you need to succeed in you life and in you marriage.
At times a see people talk about father's blessings as if without the said blessings the marriage is doomed or what
I know couples struggling with their marriage or even divorced, and they all received the acclaimed "parental blessings". We're too religious in this country honestly, i know couples who met abroad got married over there and are living peacefully with kids without their parents knowledge whatsoever.

3 Likes

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by NaijaElba(m): 2:01am On Apr 22, 2019
Marriage26:
Good day nairalander,

I am a popular jingo nairalander but got to hide under this moniker...


I have been dating my fiancee for the past 7 years, she had met my parents and I have met her's many times . We planned to get married earlier year. But it was the year my mother left this planet, I informed my family I wanted to get married but they declined, saying, it must be over years of mumsy's demise before I can marry.


We've fixed introduction days 3ice and it got cancelled by my father, what's his reason?


1. NYSC: I was posted to serve in the Northern part of the country 3 years ago, I went to camp, but I couldn't cope with the weather and couldn't leave my business as NYSC won't guarantee me job and I don't have other option. I absconded from the service and faced my business which I saved profits in 7 digits in same year, God made me comfortable.

2: He said I should rather impregnate the girl (backdoor talk)



I am close to my late 20s, he already banned all family members as many depend on him from attending my introduction.

He cancelled my introduction without fixing a new date.

My in-law trust me and ready to release the lady to me as I haven't had sex with her since 2012 that we've been dating...


And Also, God had supplied all I needed for my wedding from A-Z.



Do you think this is a cogent reason?. I want to ahead with my wedding plans...


Kindly advise....Thanks



simply send some confirm elders to him! let them help u to talk to him or find out his main reasons. many times our parent make mistakes that tell a lot on us. Kindly look for people that can help u talk to him. if there is anyway u have wronged him, apologize deeply. For those fo.olish people doubting if u had sex or not wth ur gf, just ignore them. I also did not have sex with my girlfriend not until late last year we had our wedding. I believe you 100%. Also do not forget to come back here to inform us if your dad finally agrees to sha the ise. lolz.
Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by johhnnie(m): 2:04am On Apr 22, 2019
chidekings:
Even without hearing his fathers side,Op clearly has issues.
Wants to get married the same year your mum died,
Absconds from nysc while he can easily have redeployed,
Makes seven figures a year and thinks he is very ok to marry at 26.
OP look inwards,your father means the best for you


Young man, forget the dictate of the foreign religion. Listen to your father. When the chips are down, there is a limit to how far your Pastor or any church member will be willing to walk with you. Find a way to make your dad speak his mind. Marriage is not sustained solely by love. The truth, is love is not enough in keeping marriage together. Listen to your father.
Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by johhnnie(m): 2:08am On Apr 22, 2019
CASHCOW247:
I have almost similar issue to this, but my mum is still alive and she has given her approval.

I am set to go ahead with my wedding with or without my fathers approval.

People here keep talking about fathers blessings, so what about people that don't have fathers, so they are doomed. Let's grow up and face realities.

Even Abraham that became a blessing to all, there is no way recorded that he got is fathers blessings.

@OP, seek Gods approval and blessings. That is all you need to succeed in you life and in you marriage.

If this is how we repay back our fathers who toiled day and night to make us who we are today, it calls for ......
Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by oduademon: 2:11am On Apr 22, 2019
OP needs to learn how to write.

Terrible!!!!

I agree with your father. If you cant write, you are not ready to marry
Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by HisMajesty1(m): 2:11am On Apr 22, 2019
Marriage26:



My papa no get emotion o... We were brought up with iron hands, bro, the matter pass Abacha regime. He's a dictator... Impregnating before wedding is against my faith but he's surface Christian, and by the way, while growing up, he beats us for not remembering church sermon.


I have met him severally, he never gave any reason, also in the history of the family, I am the first person that want to pay a lady bride price before pregnancy or living together or attempting wedding...
I think I know you o. Anyway, I think you should carry your father along in the whole thing. Don't go ahead to marry the lady without his support. Make him see reasons, cajole him, lobby him or whatever. Just carry him along. Family is IMPORTANT.
Your father may have iron emotion like you said but even Iron bends at some point.
Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Princedapace(m): 2:29am On Apr 22, 2019
Una too dey sentimental in this part of the world.. Left for me, I don't care.

None of my parents have the right to choose or decide how I get married.

My parents also did this type of thing to me, but baba, I stood my ground, I fought and I did my wedding. I did everything needed to be done. My dad didn't even attend. I didn't even tell him the day since he was busy causing wahala for all of us.

No time. I couldn't afford to lose the babe when wetin full market na yeye slay queens..

And also, I have this believe: good or bad, I am always the person to face the consequences of my decisions..

Naija get many problems aswear.. Parents wahala too much..

Pls parents in the house.. Stop frustrating ur children marital wishes. Allow them marry who their heart chooses. Just wish them well.

Some parents will be forming lord of the ring. The Bible made it clear for u as parents not to provoke ur kids..

7 Likes

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by tobechi20(m): 2:31am On Apr 22, 2019
Marriage26:
Good day nairalander,

I am a popular jingo nairalander but got to hide under this moniker...


I have been dating my fiancee for the past 7 years, she had met my parents and I have met her's many times . We planned to get married earlier year. But it was the year my mother left this planet, I informed my family I wanted to get married but they declined, saying, it must be over years of mumsy's demise before I can marry.


We've fixed introduction days 3ice and it got cancelled by my father, what's his reason?


1. NYSC: I was posted to serve in the Northern part of the country 3 years ago, I went to camp, but I couldn't cope with the weather and couldn't leave my business as NYSC won't guarantee me job and I don't have other option. I absconded from the service and faced my business which I saved profits in 7 digits in same year, God made me comfortable.

2: He said I should rather impregnate the girl (backdoor talk)



I am close to my late 20s, he already banned all family members as many depend on him from attending my introduction.

He cancelled my introduction without fixing a new date.

My in-law trust me and ready to release the lady to me as I haven't had sex with her since 2012 that we've been dating...


And Also, God had supplied all I needed for my wedding from A-Z.



Do you think this is a cogent reason?. I want to ahead with my wedding plans...


Kindly advise....Thanks


don't attend his burrial
Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Larryndelaw: 2:33am On Apr 22, 2019
Can you answer these question. Has the girl in question had sex since 2012 like you?
If the girl can answer these question truthfully then we can advise you better

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by middlebelter(m): 2:34am On Apr 22, 2019
[quote author=Marriage26 post=77737056]

I have, they spoke to him and he banned them from attending.....

I haven't discussed my next steps with any family members yet.


He's the family breadwinner


If your father is a Christian, talk to his Bishop, if a Muslim, engage his Imam etc, if a billionaire, talk to (Dangotes), even in business, he has people that can influence his source of wealth and pride. In all make sure you satisfy your conscience to honour your parent.

As per dead parent, that is understood, but even tge dead has relatives that can stand in for them.
Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by essenceplus: 2:50am On Apr 22, 2019
embarassed embarassed
Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by kingBenedict: 2:54am On Apr 22, 2019
Just calm down for now, if he doesn't wanna see reasons with you, wait, focus on your business for now.... I also understand OP's situation..... him wan knack craze comot from the girl head too cos him talk say him never knack the girl since 2012 (hard to believe)....you never reach 30 self...na fvck dey worry OP jor....
Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Evercurious(f): 3:01am On Apr 22, 2019
Marriage26:



It's against my faith bro. God had been arranging my life for me since, and this is one of God's institutions , I have to follow his rule..


This marriage/wedding is long overdue. My dear you know your dad and as implied he is quite unreasonable. My advise is this: PLS GO AHEAD WITH YOUR WEDDING AFTER SERIOUS PRAYERS.

Your dad is just holding you down for no reason. If he has got any reason for objecting, he should let you know. But if he has got none, then I dont see any reason why you shldnt go ahead with it
Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by neonly: 3:07am On Apr 22, 2019
OgogoroFreak:
What do you expect from your dad when you choose to marry a public toilet for a wife?

Your Dad simply wants you to impregnate the olosho first cos he suspect the bitch has no womb - the reason she didn't let you fvck since 2012 you met her.

Weytin old man dey see from where he sitdown, small boy no fit see am even if he climb mountain.

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Isoduwa(m): 3:14am On Apr 22, 2019
Since 2012 you never lick � her plate of chicken � stew � my guy enter house � or face your business since school � Nor let you go because of that bingo
Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by RTSC: 3:18am On Apr 22, 2019
chidekings:
Even without hearing his fathers side,Op clearly has issues.
Wants to get married the same year your mum died,
Absconds from nysc while he can easily have redeployed,
Makes seven figures a year and thinks he is very ok to marry at 26.
OP look inwards,your father means the best for you
Honestly.

I wonder why some men marry very very early. What is the rush?

His father sent him to school and he could not even bother to finish the process and make his father happy.

I don't think the father is irrational.

1 Like

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by AreaFada2: 3:22am On Apr 22, 2019
While most people would commend OP for no sex since 7 years, I'd be worried a bit. Because the world is wicked these days. What many girls who claim virginity, primary or secondary, get up to, is shocking. The world is far from ideal nowadays.

Not unusual for people to do no-sex-before-marriage while the lady will be shagging, getting pregnant and evacuating steady for another man. shocked

Sexual incompatibility is a big issue too. Unless both are primary virgins. I have seen secondary virgins who courted without sex marry, have a woeful sex life and then divorce within two years. But maybe it works for some, I wouldn't know.

You can go ahead with the marriage without your dad's approval. But be ready to bear whatever comes your way. If your family members do not support your marriage, you will have far less support network when things get tough.

There were two romantic cases many years back. An inter-racial marriages where the girls' families and friends didn't attend their marriages.

Despite so much apparent love & romance, both marriages crashed within 10 to 15 years. It could have been a mere co-incidence. But family opposition couldn't have helped.

While we Africans go all religious about everything, we forget practical things often. The same God who has been "arranging" everything also says "honor your father and your mother". If you cannot accept the part of pregnancy, at least consider waiting for at least a year after your mother's passing as your father wants.

Good luck.

1 Like

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by IamPlato(m): 3:26am On Apr 22, 2019
Bros That Man Is Not Your Father... Your Father Is God. If God Approves forget Man.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by Mutemenot(m): 3:33am On Apr 22, 2019
DukeNija:


Will you advise your sister to marry into such a family given this scenario? Battles for s young couple is not the best option. Avoid it at all cost because it might be too expensive. You might not even enjoy the marriage.
Op take note of this... bitter truth
Re: Father Refused To Attend My Wedding by NoToPile: 3:52am On Apr 22, 2019
Marriage26, you said you are the first person that wants to properly get married in your family.

You think its easy to break that jink, oga get on your knees and pray, fast, do vigil join, seek counsel, let your pastor or group members join you in prayer too pray like you have never done before.

Whatever you have to do to get his approval do it because its important to have his blessings, if it takes you waiting for sometime more do it. You ve waited for 7 years, some months more wont make any difference.

Ensure you sort it out with your father, wait for the customary 1 year after your mums demise. Dont lie to him that your fiancee is pregnant, dont sleep with her also just because of pressure, do it the proper way

Your fathers case is not too hard for God to handle, orishirishi cases like this one. He would crack last last. grin


I wonder how people left the main topic and start advicing on how hes not slept with his fiancee for 7 years, the fact that most are loose doesnt mean everybody is having sex, some still try to keep the bed undefiled and honor God with their body.

1 Like

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