₦airaland Forum

OgogoroFreak:
What do you expect from your dad when you choose to marry a public toilet for a wife?

Your Dad simply wants you to impregnate the olosho first cos he suspect the bitch has no womb - the reason she didn't let you fvck since 2012 you met her.

Weytin old man dey see from where he sitdown, small boy no fit see am even if he climb mountain.

Your username says it all.

Marriage26:
Good day nairalander,

I am a popular jingo nairalander but got to hide under this moniker...


I have been dating my fiancee for the past 7 years, she had met my parents and I have met her's many times . We planned to get married earlier year. But it was the year my mother left this planet, I informed my family I wanted to get married but they declined, saying, it must be over years of mumsy's demise before I can marry.


We've fixed introduction days 3ice and it got cancelled by my father, what's his reason?


1. NYSC: I was posted to serve in the Northern part of the country 3 years ago, I went to camp, but I couldn't cope with the weather and couldn't leave my business as NYSC won't guarantee me job and I don't have other option. I absconded from the service and faced my business which I saved profits in 7 digits in same year, God made me comfortable.

2: He said I should rather impregnate the girl (backdoor talk)



I am close to my late 20s, he already banned all family members as many depend on him from attending my introduction.

He cancelled my introduction without fixing a new date.

My in-law trust me and ready to release the lady to me as I haven't had sex with her since 2012 that we've been dating...


And Also, God had supplied all I needed for my wedding from A-Z.



Do you think this is a cogent reason?. I want to ahead with my wedding plans...


Kindly advise....Thanks

Did you say you're 20 years....................
I guess you left a couple of things out.
Anyways I'll advice you present your case to God, fasting and praying. Ask for a sign to be revealed. You can use 90 days for it.
Marriage is a life time event.

Emescot:
Then why are you trying to break the family history, impregnate the girl, if that will make him happy

you're not serious

He's not breaking any family history. He is BREAKING A YOKE!!!

Marriage26:
It's against my faith bro. God had been arranging my life for me since, and this is one of God's institutions , I have to follow his rule..

kudos for this. May God direct your steps onward!

Ishilove:
The same God who has been arranging your life will break down your father's stony heart. Keep firm because men like you are very, very rare. You are a gem.

Ishilove

Really

Kessykelly:
This is not new. My entire nuclear family didn't attend mine ncluding parents and siblings. None did but life goes on buddy.

Blingblings:
I'm not sure your dad wants your progress.. Freestyle that man and do your thing. Your dad is a sadist, possibly diabolic. Its obvious he's not happy because you don't depend on him. He wants everyone to be under him. Something else dey involved.

Btw, how did your mum die, are you still sure him no use her for sacrifice??

I hereby endorse the bolded lines in this post. Some fathers can be very antagonistic when they lack financial power or influence in the lives of their children, especially in affairs like wedding. I've experienced it before. It's a extreme hypocrisy. Such are ordinary churchgoers with no true love in their hearts!

Fathers are available for hire in Lagos. In as much as you respect your dad, don't allow him to have a field day in this matter. It's your life, he's lived his. Get on with it with or w/out his support. Best of luck in your next move!

Olukologia24592:
Bro, I'm a Christian that attends Pentecostal church, with what you've said, its a family thing, so the devil is trying to manipulate your way. Because you are about to give heaven joy. All you need now, FAST FOR 7DAYS tell God to help you break that jinx. I'm not a pastor but I speak based on the direction of the spirit

Very much understand bro, but little one can actually discuss on social media...

I don't like too much interference in my sh*it,but in this Case I think the father means well,op is wrapped in some serious love sh*t and should take it easy,you're still young by the way,calm down and stop the hassle.

Donald3d:

I got married recently, I am probably much younger than you are, I was practically in your shoes .
I wouldn't want to give to much details, because privacy is important, but I would say this :
No matter what happens, stand your ground, there is only so much resistance a father can give no matter how strict he is or thinks he is .
I didn't give her belle, I married her because she was a gem I couldn't afford to lose.The kind of girl you only see in fairy tales .
If your wife to be is that kind of girl, don't lose her because of your father's decision.You would regret it for the rest of your life. Just be sure she is worth the fight, if she is. STAND YOUR GROUND.You are a man .

Try and find diplomatic ways to resolve it, pray also a whole lot, you have no idea how much prayers can move mountains.Every man has a weak point, find your father's weak point and use it against him, play the fool if you have to and at the end of the day the end goal is getting your wife.

If the drama gets too much she might leave you, trust me, women don't like too much drama no matter how much they love you, especially in this case when she has been with you this long.

If your father is still "doing strong head", please go to your in-laws collect the list and pay her dowry . You already said they trust you. She is marrying you and not your father, from what you said, its not like he doesn't like the girl, he just wants to be stubborn. But I know he would come around, find his weak point and use it against him and win him over, that's what I did.

Don't suffer a life time of regret losing the love of your life because you couldn't stand up to your father.This is one of of your first tests of being a true man.Please pass it
Marriage26

UPDATE : Since you are Christian consider this bible passage. I reminded myself of it almost everyday :
The king's heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will. Prov 21 VS 1
Make sure you and bae pray and fast fervently together. No battle is insurmountable as long as the person no be God, there is a solution.

As a Christian, I have actually used all the kingdom mysteries I know, prayer o, blood of Jesus, blood of sprinkling , I have fasted, I have been to mountains. And when things like this happened to me in the past, God is saying " use your common sense or the solution is rather physical rather than spiritual and I need to take a step or look inward...

CertifiedGee:
Since your father is stone hearted and you don’t want to go against your personal vows and “the love of God”.
Why don’t you lie to him that the so called lady is pregnant and few days after your wedding..... you come up with a story of her losing the pregnancy, like miscarriage or something and keep your woman up with your plans so you’ll have a smooth and consistent story.
I hope it helps sha

Lolz.... He will say since she's pregnant, there will be no more reason to get married....

cvibe2:
You have not tasted her kpekus for 7yrs, but can she say the same too that she hasn't tasted any other GBOLA for 7yrs you have been together?

Sure sir...

ZIMDRILL:
did i get you clearly ? you mother passes away this year and your father said you should wait for a year

so the year hasnt passed and you think your father is not being fair ?

Bros, the years done pass teytey.

NIKEDEEDS:
Bro... This is the way forward.

Agree with your father...
Make him believe ur wife is pregnant already (all it will cost you is a fake pregancy test and some whatsapp text messages from your girlfriend)...
Make sure dat some of ur inlaws are part of d plan (those dat u trust with d plan) while u leave d rest to response in d natural way dey ought ...
Then make plan plans 4 ur wedding with ur fathers support. .
If possible she should wear a fake pregancy kit 4 d traditional marriage...
Boomm... case settled...

Lets look at d bible, bro...
Abraham did it with Abimelech because of sarahs beauty(he did this twice in d bible, d second one with king of Egypt)..
Jacob did it with issac and to get Esaus blessing..
The Gibeonites did it with joshua and their kingdom wasnt conquered by joshua since has already made a promise...

Some parents (especially dads) can be very rigid but in dat their rigidity they lose control over their family...

I forgot to to add, i had a simiar experience with my dad(twice actually)...
During d first experience, we tot u could be convinced and employed d services of all his good friends dat we tot could talk some senses into him but we meet a brick wall...
While for second experience(from d experience we go from d first), we followed 'YES SIR' approach until we got wat we wanted...

I AM VERY SURE YOUR OLD MAN IS AN IGBO MAN...
But why are dey always like this...

The pregnancy thing is just a trap. Once you tell him she's, pregnant he will say no more needs for wedding, he told those ahead of me no more wedding since wife is pregnant. So I need to learn from those ahead.

Hold on your father's blessing is important then what you think...Give him time,respect his decisions..when the right time comes he will give you reasons of his actions...don't be in a rush so you won't rush out

baby124:
Did your father give you a reasonable time as to when it will be ok for you to get married? Maybe he cannot afford a wedding yet as we know burials are expensive. We also know that you probably plan on asking him for support for your wedding. If he said you should give a Year then give a year. He just lost his wife and he’s probably not going to be at his best emotionally and financially for a wedding. As long as the time frame of his request is reasonable I think you should wait.

Years done pass oga.. Abi person wey introduce little bride he wan put for house some days ago to me . Uno Sabi as edey go.

chidekings:
Even without hearing his fathers side,Op clearly has issues.
Wants to get married the same year your mum died,
Absconds from nysc while he can easily have redeployed,
Makes seven figures a year and thinks he is very ok to marry at 26.
OP look inwards,your father means the best for you

Don't make mistakes bro, you've said the truth, but years had gone over it... Understand?.

This foolish Africa mentality I WILL NOT GIVE CONSENT has done more harm's than favour to most people that are ready to marry. Bro wise up & don't allow your daddy selfish legacy make you lose that girl of yours.

Late 20s should be 27/29yrs bro you're matured & old enough to make your own legacy , my dad started his own legacy at age 25yrs.

Lastly...

I don't need my own parents consent or presences to marry girl of my choice. I will simply pay her dowry & take her to Court to seal the Union with few friends of 5 then TAKE MY WIFE home then START OUR NEW FAMILY not DADDY FAMILY
Bro be WISE.

megareal:
If your Pastor has real spiritual authority, see him and plead with him to stand in for you as your father. He will also need to pray ahead and curtail every curse or spiritual manipulations that may be targeted at you after the act.

In addition, check out your father's spiritual stance, he may not be who he says he is. No man that will not be pleased that his son wants to bring him honor by marrying properly. He may want to frustrate the girl out of your life, they may have been a spiritual covenant that he doesn't want you to break viz a viz, marrying properly before sex and babies.

I also hope you know your girl's stance, spiritually and morally to avoid future regrets.

Finally, pray, pray and pray. You will get victory through prayers. Don't forget to involve your Pastor every step of the way.

I do have a stable and trusted one. He said , if I wait for so long again, the unexpected will happen and prayer won't be a substitute. #hesigneditwhenwevetriedallwecould#

tosyne2much:
Judging from one side of the story, I think the OP is a rebellious child (to some extent). Although you don't need anybody's rules or validation on how to live your life but you need to be very careful when it comes to a delicate issue like this

However, no matter how bad you think your father is, he will always remain your father and you need to be mindful of how you drag an issue like this with him.

From your story, it's obvious you're in a rush to marry that girl probably because she gave you an ultimatum which is the reason why you probably label your dad so bad

Anyway it's your life and your decision to make but one thing you should avoid is creating enmity between you and your dad because of your supposed girlfriend

Wisdom is needed to deal with a delicate issue like this not necessarily violence or rebellion

Anything done in rebel won't last, the sin rebellion is like that of a witchcraft and thou shall suffer no witch to live...


I did all I could to avoid being rebellious, now I decided it's my life, there's nothing I am been rebel of?.. do you think there's any?.. kindly point it out maybe I wasn't paying attention to it.

Shinjitsu:
Hold on your father's blessing is important then what you think...Give him time,respect his decisions..when the right time comes he will give you reasons of his actions...don't be in a rush so you won't rush out

He should respect his fathers DECISIONS for his own marriage

Africa is a dangerous place to grow up in

Marriage26:
Bros, the years done pass teytey.

sorry am not nigerian

what is the meaning of the last word?

in post your said she passed early this unless am failing to understand pigin

So Op should keep waiting & what will be Op girl friend FAITH ? .

So he should respect his father decisions that seems not to match with Op opinion because he his FATHER right?

What do you mean don't Rush ?. So you mean someone who is in late 20s can't make his own legacy or not yet ripe for Marriage ?

Sir honestly your comment has alot of personal emotions & such has ruined many guys marriage moves

Shinjitsu:
Hold on your father's blessing is important then what you think...Give him time,respect his decisions..when the right time comes he will give you reasons of his actions...don't be in a rush so you won't rush out

ZIMDRILL:
i think you are missing key things he said that makes it that the boy is driven by desire to marry due the fact that also for 7 years he hasnt slept with her

he "says mom passed away early this year right?"

then he informs family that he once to marry

the key word is mom passes away early this year roughly between jan-feb this is towards end of april meaning we got only march between early this year (jan-feb)

his father said wait for a year, if his father was giving him excuses after a year passed then we would say the father is wrong

we havent even reached half way march of the year and he thinks his father is being stubborn i dont think so

may be that how you do it nigeria am
a non nigeria

My naija people. The years done pass o....

Honestly...

TheVictorious:
He should respect his fathers DECISIONS for his own marriage

Africa is a dangerous place to grow up in

CASHCOW247:
I have almost similar issue to this, but my mum is still alive and she has given her approval.

I am set to go ahead with my wedding with or without my fathers approval.

People here keep talking about fathers blessings, so what about people that don't have fathers, so they are doomed. Let's grow up and face realities.

Even Abraham that became a blessing to all, there is no way recorded that he got is fathers blessings.

@OP, seek Gods approval and blessings. That is all you need to succeed in you life and in you marriage.

Lotta senses sir...

Marriage26:
Good day nairalander,

I am a popular jingo nairalander but got to hide under this moniker...


I have been dating my fiancee for the past 7 years, she had met my parents and I have met her's many times . We planned to get married earlier year. But it was the year my mother left this planet, I informed my family I wanted to get married but they declined, saying, it must be over years of mumsy's demise before I can marry.


We've fixed introduction days 3ice and it got cancelled by my father, what's his reason?


1. NYSC: I was posted to serve in the Northern part of the country 3 years ago, I went to camp, but I couldn't cope with the weather and couldn't leave my business as NYSC won't guarantee me job and I don't have other option. I absconded from the service and faced my business which I saved profits in 7 digits in same year, God made me comfortable.

2: He said I should rather impregnate the girl (backdoor talk)



I am close to my late 20s, he already banned all family members as many depend on him from attending my introduction.

He cancelled my introduction without fixing a new date.

My in-law trust me and ready to release the lady to me as I haven't had sex with her since 2012 that we've been dating...


And Also, God had supplied all I needed for my wedding from A-Z.



Do you think this is a cogent reason?. I want to ahead with my wedding plans...


Kindly advise....Thanks

Ur papa wan de sure ur prick de work or U de lie to am Say U never blow. He want to know if he can get a grandchild.

Too much sense will not kill you

CASHCOW247:
I have almost similar issue to this, but my mum is still alive and she has given her approval.

I am set to go ahead with my wedding with or without my fathers approval.

People here keep talking about fathers blessings, so what about people that don't have fathers, so they are doomed. Let's grow up and face realities.

Even Abraham that became a blessing to all, there is no way recorded that he got is fathers blessings.

@OP, seek Gods approval and blessings. That is all you need to succeed in you life and in you marriage.

ZIMDRILL:
sorry am not nigerian

what is the meaning of the last word?

in post your said she passed early this unless am failing to understand pigin

Oh, so reasons many people were complaining?. I said "Earlier year".


Year that had passed . Not " early this year".

Marriage26:
The pregnancy thing is just a trap. Once you tell him she's, pregnant he will say no more needs for wedding, he told those ahead of me no more wedding since wife is pregnant. So I need to learn from those ahead.

What the

But he married your mum?
Out of respect for you. Let me keep mum on my comments about your dad's behavior.
Please go ahead with your plans. From past history seems he doesn't actually want any of his sons to get married.

Ignore him and his blessings.
HML in advance,
Wish you all the best

Biglittlelois:
Be patient, continue to make money, heed to your dad's advice, he knows best, why are you in a hurry to marry since you are not in your 30s? Or is it sex with her you're eager to taste, though I don't believe you've not had sex with her for 7 years, best of luck anyway.

Is there any rule that said a person must be in 30s before marriage?
Seems you haven't met disciplined guys before.

Op I will advise you talk to someone he respects like your Pastor, his uncle or someone he listens to.

As for impregnating the girl. His fear is that she might be barren. Do you blame him? What girls do these days is a shock to the devil himself.

Nevertheless if you're a practising christian that's a no no.

bixton:
Did you say you're 20 years....................
I guess you left a couple of things out.
Anyways I'll advice you present your case to God, fasting and praying. Ask for a sign to be revealed. You can use 90 days for it.
Marriage is a life time event.

What did he leave out? He's a yahoo boy?

You think there's no legimate way to hammer than Yahoo?
Dey there make pant wear you.