₦airaland Forum

If all you said it true, then he most likely married you to get his green card. Which means you are just a means to an end and he is busy looking for the woman he would genuinely connect with. Sorry for the bad news but I just want to be straight with you. Even if he had a green card or citizenship before your marriage, he might be using you for a place to stay, money or he might even be after your life insurance. The guy you just described is using you, he does not love you.

bluefilm:
Monkey go an' sleep better biko.

So you have not read her other threads to have a little insight into her type of person?

Take your time and go and read it.

You may start to have a clearer understanding of the issue at hand.

The woman is a foreigner. She married an igbo man. In her other thread, she was asking stereotypical questions which most probably comes from a place of insecurity, on the problems of marrying an igbo man forgetting that people are individuals and as such, are different.

Bottomline: she's always looking out for 'problems' in her parter which exposes her insecurity, or fear of losing that partner.

MALU, you need to wake up. In the other thread, she only mentioned Igbo in just one... Why was it so because that is where she got married. I don't expect her to mention Hausa or Idoma.. This very thread was written In detail so it shows her observation over time about her husband and why she is exhibiting such fears... I mean, I cannot marry a girl and after sometime she is always on facebook and other media chatting with males especially and you expect me to be comfortable.... It is her right to ask such questions..... What kind of nonsense insensitivity are some of you here. Nonsense everywhere

Ask him to stop or let him leave his phone with you to chat on his behalf for 1 week. During that week introduce yourself as his wife and observe the reactions.

He already got what he wanted from you , so being faithful to you is the least thing he can do now.

I'm just wondering why you jumped into marriage
with him without thinking about it?

You know the right decision to take but you still posted on this thread, I mean what do you hope at the end?.

It's either you put up with his cheating or just leave really!.

*sips tea*

GrabHisBalls:
What did you achieve now?

She asked for advice, i introduced myself and adviced advised her.

mhizminna:
She asked for advice, i introduced myself and adviced advised her.

Alright.

GrabHisBalls:
A married man chatting with girls mostly, then there is a problem. You people commonize serious issues.

So once you're married, you delete your contacts and stop talking to people. Aunty, we are in the a new age, where we chat and converse which each even more than before.

Mayfrank:
So once you're married, you delete your contacts and stop talking to people. Aunty, we are in the a new age, where we chat and converse which each even more than before.

Nobody is saying you should delete contacts, but as a married man/woman, you ought to be sensitive about your actions. Marriage isn't the same as dating. It's something you take more seriously 'cause your actions would be telling on your marriage.

Just imagine a married woman always chatting with men on social media with "Dear" as her first greeting approach? Would you as a man be comfortable with that kind wife? Would you give yourself the same advise you gave her if in her shoes?

You people should be a bit logical before commenting on such threads. It's not a must you comment.

Roshina22:
My husband is Nigerian and I’m not he recently came to my country we are married and now I’m pregnant. I know quite a bit about culture in Nigeria as I’ve known many people there before, but something is new to me.

I may have a hard time trusting because of misunderstanding of culture but I get a feeling it may not just be that. He talks to so many women on WhatsApp and Facebook every day and likes there pictures. He even sometimes sends long emotional emails to his ex about moving on and when she cries he sends her emails about it being ok.

I told him to stop talking to her because he’s with me and our unborn child and not to have it affect our family...

But the thing is he chats with so many women on Facebook and what’s app and I’m so worried. Even when he does he hides his phone and deleted chats because he says “when you see the woman calling me saying hi dear it just means they say that to everyone”.
I know everyone in Nigeria can start off there sentence with hi dear, it could mean nothing but why does he need to talk to so many women online everyday? He said it’s rude to ignore people and if one bad word is said about him it could spread to anyone so he tries not to ignore to be nice. I saw him chatting ardently with a young girl from his village and he was asking her a lot of questions... I just didn’t understand why he had to be doing that and his response was “what if I want to be a politician one day”. It just makes me never want him to go back to Nigeria because I’m so aftraid one of these ladies he’s gonna meet up with and they will do something one day

I’m really afraid of being cheated on. I don’t chat with many men or entertain them. I don’t like their pictures and don’t feel the need to chat with so many men every day. If I ignore them it’s becquse they should know I love my husband.

My main question is is it normal for Nigerian men to chat with many many women online and on WhatsApp and Facebook like their pictures and chat away Like this? Sometimes late at night too... am I being lied to or at risk of being cheated on? Because it really feels like it. I’m already pregnant and dedicated so much time. Please this really bothers me what can I do? He won’t give up talking to them.

The thing is I don’t think his brothers are like this so why is he like that? I just don’t understand.

You are married to a chronic flirterMan..
U better break up. Cos he will come home and marry some girl secretly...
Prep up for this
And hope u haven't allowed him use u for citizenship??
STOP the process if u can....
Until u r sure of his love..
Cos once ur man gets his paper......
U r on ur own ooo.
All those nonsense he told.. About being polite n politics.... Its all lies
Is a yoruba or Igbo man?

Roshina22:
what do u mean by that

Hmmm. You are awaiting a big shocker of your life dear. Sorry for you ahead of your disater of a marriage. For your info, you married a conman.

Mindfulness:
And you know it how or is it just that you chose to believe it?

l dnt know it. I've known it for years

athaliya:
Roshina22 softboyy fecta SageMK BornagainTheif OmoAlata1 habsydiamond Riversides2003 Westsida AntiBrutus bluefilm Sparkle777 OvaSabi1

.

Roshina22, right now all that matter is your health and that of your unborn child. Leave him to who ever his chatting with for Now. After you have deliver , then you can start raising the issue again. But right now all that matter is your health first and nothing else.

Fourwinds:
MALU, you need to wake up. In the other thread, she only mentioned Igbo in just one... Why was it so because that is where she got married. I don't expect her to mention Hausa or Idoma.. This very thread was written In detail so it shows her observation over time about her husband and why she is exhibiting such fears... I mean, I cannot marry a girl and after sometime she is always on facebook and other media chatting with males especially and you expect me to be comfortable.... It is her right to ask such questions..... What kind of nonsense insensitivity are some of you here. Nonsense everywhere

I don't care what makes you afraid or insecure.

All I know is that I cannot just stop talking to my friends just because I got married to you.

Inukwanum okwu bikonu.

Roshina22:
My husband is Nigerian and I’m not he recently came to my country we are married and now I’m pregnant. I know quite a bit about culture in Nigeria as I’ve known many people there before, but something is new to me.

I may have a hard time trusting because of misunderstanding of culture but I get a feeling it may not just be that. He talks to so many women on WhatsApp and Facebook every day and likes there pictures. He even sometimes sends long emotional emails to his ex about moving on and when she cries he sends her emails about it being ok.

I told him to stop talking to her because he’s with me and our unborn child and not to have it affect our family...

But the thing is he chats with so many women on Facebook and what’s app and I’m so worried. Even when he does he hides his phone and deleted chats because he says “when you see the woman calling me saying hi dear it just means they say that to everyone”.
I know everyone in Nigeria can start off there sentence with hi dear, it could mean nothing but why does he need to talk to so many women online everyday? He said it’s rude to ignore people and if one bad word is said about him it could spread to anyone so he tries not to ignore to be nice. I saw him chatting ardently with a young girl from his village and he was asking her a lot of questions... I just didn’t understand why he had to be doing that and his response was “what if I want to be a politician one day”. It just makes me never want him to go back to Nigeria because I’m so aftraid one of these ladies he’s gonna meet up with and they will do something one day

I’m really afraid of being cheated on. I don’t chat with many men or entertain them. I don’t like their pictures and don’t feel the need to chat with so many men every day. If I ignore them it’s becquse they should know I love my husband.

My main question is is it normal for Nigerian men to chat with many many women online and on WhatsApp and Facebook like their pictures and chat away Like this? Sometimes late at night too... am I being lied to or at risk of being cheated on? Because it really feels like it. I’m already pregnant and dedicated so much time. Please this really bothers me what can I do? He won’t give up talking to them.

The thing is I don’t think his brothers are like this so why is he like that? I just don’t understand.

your write up looks Nigerian, I doubt your claim of not being a Nigerian

Sparkle777:
I hope u can handle the truth as per ur condition. If u are older, obese, not so pretty and have a low self esteem. He's probably using u for papers. 98% of Nigerian males marry for paper, they only manage u for a while, reasons why he hardly quarrels and always apologises.

Am sure u know or tot of that but hell no,u ladies will not leave our men,for where. Worse is, he will marry his true love and also keep u. Of cos, since u white ladies don't take much shit, he will suddenly change his attitude and u will be the one to file for a divorce, case closed,he brings in the original wife. Funny thing, u might visit his country and think the wife here is a sister, forget; they even do it in ur presence.

Sorry to give u the bad news but google it,so many cases. The love u get is fake. Sorry oo

Nah I look good so does he we both look good together

gabbasin:
your write up looks Nigerian, I doubt your claim of not being a Nigerian

If im a wife of a tribe, I am going to act like it right? My love is 100% real

giftfromGod:
Roshina22, right now all that matter is your health and that of your unborn child. Leave him to who ever his chatting with for Now. After you have deliver , then you can start raising the issue again. But right now all that matter is your health first and nothing else.

I can be concerned about both oo

ghettochild4u:
You are married to a chronic flirterMan..
U better break up. Cos he will come home and marry some girl secretly...
Prep up for this
And hope u haven't allowed him use u for citizenship??
STOP the process if u can....
Until u r sure of his love..
Cos once ur man gets his paper......
U r on ur own ooo.
All those nonsense he told.. About being polite n politics.... Its all lies
Is a yoruba or Igbo man?

You sound Miserable. How’s your relationship going?

Kdon2:
Hmmm. You are awaiting a big shocker of your life dear. Sorry for you ahead of your disater of a marriage. For your info, you married a conman.

Miserable answer. Didn’t do me anything.

Mayfrank:
So once you're married, you delete your contacts and stop talking to people. Aunty, we are in the a new age, where we chat and converse which each even more than before.

Aunty people are free to do as they like so long as it’s done with respect and care of context. Nobody put anybody in a cage.

GrabHisBalls:
Nobody is saying you should delete contacts, but as a married man/woman, you ought to be sensitive about your actions. Marriage isn't the same as dating. It's something you take more seriously 'cause your actions would be telling on your marriage.

Just imagine a married woman always chatting with men on social media with "Dear" as her first greeting approach? Would you as a man be comfortable with that kind wife? Would you give yourself the same advise you gave her if in her shoes?

You people should be a bit logical before commenting on such threads. It's not a must you comment.

Thank you I hail you

Roshina22:
I can be concerned about both oo

My sister na who they alive they remember say he husband they cheat. So my sister lock up and no get high blood pressure because of your husband. Na wetin I go tell my blood sister na him I dey tell you oh

janettee:
He already got what he wanted from you , so being faithful to you is the least thing he can do now.

I'm just wondering why you jumped into marriage
with him without thinking about it?

You know the right decision to take but you still posted on this thread, I mean what do you hope at the end?.

It's either you put up with his cheating or just leave really!.

*sips tea*

It’s just fun hearing from other people I guess. Some people post home wrecker sh* some people give good advice. Why do nairaland people think they are the only reckless critical ones... my home country is ten times worse on our forums

AntiBrutus:
Your husband is an alfa male. They do whatever they wish without considering its effect on their partners. Worse is, they don't take corrections.

Do you guys pictures, look like any of the attached?

Typical nairaland answer. Why r people here so obsessed with and go straight to the potential taboo? Miserable. Sensationalism? Nah none of that represents what this thread wa about... next

SageMK:
Shake my head. Your lack of appropriate punctuation makes it a little difficult to read & comprehend your post.



No. It's not a normal thing.

Nigerian men are busy bees. We have little time to waste chatting with women. So it's not a cultural thing at all.



Yes of course. The probability is high. The fact that he deletes some of his chats is already not a good sign.

There's always that risk of being cheated on or lied to in every relationships but yours is up there at the very top.



Talk to him. Try to make him see why it's unhealthy for him as a married man to be in constant communication with other women. While his intentions might be good, the same can't be said for the women he's chatting with.

Yo thanks this was so level headed!!!

Roshina22:
Miserable answer. Didn’t do me anything.

You will soon come back here when you become misrable. Mtchew

PrincessJr:
Sorry madam, but your husband is promiscuous. He is already cheating on you. Those girls are his numerous lovers in Nigeria!

Lmao was this supposed to be funny? Cause I chuckled. Some of y’all are kinda dumb on here

habsydiamond:
So u want counselors from
NLand to help u restructure ur home.. it doesn't work like that. If u have problem with ur man. The best thing to do is to look for when he is in a good mood... Sit him down and iron it out with him.. he will change.... His behaviour may be associated with ur being pregnant am joke guessing ni oo...

Thanks I like ur response

BornagainThief:
Your Race? Black or

Your appearance fat or

Multiethnic and I look good ... not fat (some fat women look good though but I couldn’t)