₦airaland Forum

Lovelyn451:
Marry her Jare and put her through school, she wont leave you by Gods grace...afterall most crashed marriages are between two matured, exposed adults who already knew what they want before getting married yet they end up in divorce...please dont miss that girl b4 u end up in regret, even her parents is in support reason they always remind you that you're nt married to her whenever she stays overtime, so please do the needful sharp sharp

I like your response and "Jare".

Dacman:
The way you guys think baffles....you call a 18year old a child!!!.its this mentality that keeps an average Nigerian dependent on there parents while kids in Europe and America break boundaries at that age...black man mentality

I agree

GT07115:
I have been hustling all my life, I hustle legitimately to put my self through school, I am still hustling, should I continue hustling without thinking of having a family? Should I be thinking of that in my fourthies? I am even behind time now maritally, I have dated a girl who I was supposed to settle down with during my service year, she is a fashion designer, she is making money on a daily basis but then I don't look at her money, I was even richer than she was then I even spend more on her than someone who is not working, she was totally a misfit thank God it didn't came through, I would have regretted it. So bro I am not looking at her financial status rather just want a way of making her more valuable while she becomes my wife owning to financial constraints.

Don't respond to all these people condemning you for your relationship with the young lady! Many of them are small boys who feel threatened when a relatively older guy is planning on marrying a younger lady! There's nothing wrong in somebody of your age marrying a girl in her 18. In fact, that's the best age gap that should exist between a man and his wife.

Ignore insecure boys on this thread!

GT07115:
Hi peeps, I am in love with an 18 years old lady who is from a very poor background as mine, I will be 30 this year and I intend settling down maritally this year or early next year, I would have loved her to gain admission before doing anything marriage with her.

I have discussed going back to school with her and getting a trade along, by her consent to it I have gave her money to enroll for jamb and NECO exam which will make her secure admission this year, the jamb result is out and OK pending NECO exam which will start next week.

My problem is the parent are financially handicapped to contribute a dime to her education and we are not married that means the whole stuff is on my head, I would have loved to marry this year if she was already in school or a graduate, I am the first son with responsibility of putting my younger ones through school. I feel I will be shouldering a lot of responsibility, the relationship is just one way sided and the parents don't give a breathing space whenever she spends some hours late in my house, like reminding me we are not married, the whole thing is that I love her, she is a lady I can talk to, and very young and beautiful.

Focus on improving your present state and the responsibilities presently on your head.

Don't support her at the expense of what I stated above if you must. And also don't expect anything from her.

But if you really must, then get married. 18years is pretty young but allowed.

My dad gave me this advise, and it has forever resonates with me "don't marry a broke girl and don't marry from a broken home"

olumalcolm:
Alaye go and face ur life and ur siblings, support ur sis or ur bro to learn a trade or go to sch. You wont be too old to marry at 32 or 33. Invest in ur family nw cos u r nt married so dey cm first b4 anybody.

Another pragmatic and wise angle.

stinflame:
My dear is basically due to financial favours or another favour , of a truth I can't let my own daughter get married to someone who is 7yrs older than her..

Personally I can get married to someone 10yrs older than me, age is not a factor for me .

hope4life:
Except if you are a Christian who will convince someone that it's God's will for your life which I doubt considering the age difference, I will have advised you to let her go.
1.Avoid infatuation, if you marry her,you will see a lady that will fit your spec in future but you won't be able to do anything about it.She is still very young.
2.I will NEVER advise two persons from.poor backgrounds to marry each other humanly speaking.The burden on any of the couple that has small lift will be too.unbearable if you will want to be responsible.Imagine your parents and hers,your siblings and hers seeing you as a Dangote on the salary of #50k per.mth even #100k-200k can't survive if if you want to please them.

Lemme understand you, you mean "Age-Difference" is an indicator of "God's will"?

GT07115:
Hi peeps, I am in love with an 18 years old lady who is from a very poor background as mine, I will be 30 this year and I intend settling down maritally this year or early next year, I would have loved her to gain admission before doing anything marriage with her.

I have discussed going back to school with her and getting a trade along, by her consent to it I have gave her money to enroll for jamb and NECO exam which will make her secure admission this year, the jamb result is out and OK pending NECO exam which will start next week.

My problem is the parent are financially handicapped to contribute a dime to her education and we are not married that means the whole stuff is on my head, I would have loved to marry this year if she was already in school or a graduate, I am the first son with responsibility of putting my younger ones through school. I feel I will be shouldering a lot of responsibility, the relationship is just one way sided and the parents don't give a breathing space whenever she spends some hours late in my house, like reminding me we are not married, the whole thing is that I love her, she is a lady I can talk to, and very young and beautiful.

Is it your responsibility to sponsor her education?....

All you are doing, you are doing for charity.........


When you finish spending all your money on her head and she decides to marry someone else..... Don't be tempted to drink sniper...........

AntiBrutus:
You talked about 15yr olds desiring marriage, someone mentioned about the happenings in the North and criticisms. You replied that the difference is the ones down South give consent.

So, I asked, can a minor give consent?

Are you comparing a 15yr old child to a 9 yr old child? Plus I said they desire marriage, I never said they got married.

elantraceey:
Personally I can get married to someone 10yrs older than me, age is not a factor for me .

I see your opinion is highly respected.

Op, honestly am not comfortable with you marrying that girl, don't be carried away by your lustful desire.

This girl in question is 'very beautiful' 'from a poor background' 'not yet exposed to life' and you want to marry her, to capitalize on her naivety?

Okay oo but lemme tell you what might play out in the near future should you go ahead with this plan of yours.

This type of girls will cheat on you foolishly and humiliate you in the near future once they get the needed exposure, even if you are married to her. Am saying this from experience.

Yours might be different though but to avoid 'If I had known' look for someone more mature and settle down and another point you made is that 'You are the first child in your family with huge responsibilities'

Oga better calm down o.

Ahmed0336:
My Grand father once told me not to marry any lady out of pity.

God bless your grandfather

How does one respond to this overarching display of ignorance?

The young girls up north who have been killing their husbands of recent all blame it on forced marriage.

What does a 12yr old uneducated girl understand about marriage anyway that she can consent to it?

ladiesreject:
Who told you they don't consent to it?
[b]Have you ever seen a Hausa/Fulani girl that said she was forced into a marriage? [/b]Or you talk base on the fake news you mostly read online?

Am not a Muslim or Hausa, but the way the southerners insult their northern counterparts, you'll think they are not also guilty of this same act. It's wrong for a 15 years old to get married but it's not wrong for a 15 years old to fvck different d!cks, that's according to the southerners.

Hypocrites everywhere.

generationz:
@GT07115

Your case is simple.

Finding someone we flow with and can meet our standards is difficult.


What you'll do is this

Start a business for her or let her learn a trade. Make sure the business is something she can do with or without a store eg buying and selling second clothes , shoes and bags or Chinese commodities.

If she decides on her learning a trade let it be something she can do for ladies eg hairdressing , tailoring etc. Even shoe making is a big business if your designs are awesome you can sell a shoe for 30k or more , she can sell sandals for as high as 12k. ( google dechayilsshoes on Instagram she's a graduate that worked in a corporate setting before becoming a big time shoemaker.)


Whatever you choose to start for her is what she'll use to sponsors herself through school. When she knows she is responsible for her schooling she will become mature quickly and be responsible with money and her education.


While you start the trade for her make sure you wed her. Don't train a girl in school without marrying her first. She might betray you


The okrika business is another one that sells like hot cake on Instagram and universities as long as she has an eye for trendy and sexy wears.

I know a lady who has two cars from okrika sales. She has a big store. The way she advertises the clothes on Instagram ehn ..

Make sure whatever she chooses to do she is good at it because she will be training herself while you cater for family expenses.

Don't give her money to start business. Make sure you are part of the whole process at the beginning.
Also, teach her money management skills.

You guys can put off child bearing while she's in for the first few years then when she's in her third year you impregnate her. That's your insurance ( if you know what I mean)

Good luck

PS you are not obligated to take care of her family or siblings responsibilities. Make sure you are marrying a lady you know loves and understands you ( not only you loving her). U known many women who wrecked their fiances finances because he had to cater for her and her family . Most times it ends in separation. You are the man , take charge. Don't reveal your full income to her if you feel she will be immature and blackmail you into ceding her family .

sister, u get brain.... kudos to u

mapet:
... and you "conveniently" missed the experience of your 15yr-old igbo friends?

1. They are not my friends.
2. They are not married yet but only desire marriage.
3. An average Igbo man takes care of his woman, its what gives them pride so you had hear sad stories unlike the hausas where the young girl could be the 4 wife.

Yewandequeen:
If only the girl in question knows how many people are deliberating on her matter

My take on this is that Op doesn't have to marry her yet just cos he wants security of sending her to school. Are there not people that offer such out of free will?

Send her to school, first 2yrs will determine what her future will be. Hopefully she doesn't fall pregnant for another man.
The first 2yrs will kindda expose her, gain some. Mental development and give you insight to what she might become when she is older. So send her to school and watch her for the next 2yrs if things are still lovely Btw you two by then, go ahead and marry her.

Don't tie her down with marriage. She might agree to be cool with it all these this year just cos of her situation and next yr things change and u will see a different her entirely. Don't be in haste to marry her just to secure her, she might turn out to be ur worst nightmare.
When you are poor you exhibit another person character but when ure rich your own character will surface.

Very matured and unique response!

Skmoda360:
Where is your brain? Do you even look at what you typed? The guy is just 30years old so what's the Biggie....you are just a fool looking for what to say.....

honestly you are the big fool here because I don't think you understand what you typed, how can you encourage 30 years old guy with 18 years lady without any tangible achievement in life.

elantraceey:
1. They are not my friends.
2. They are not married yet but only desire marriage.
3. An average Igbo man takes care of his woman, its what gives them pride so you had hear sad stories unlike the hausas where the young girl could be the 4 wife.

Madam,

the point you miss is simple. We are not in discussion of "an average igbo man" or "an average Hausa man". Such discussions are should be left out of intellectually sound debates. We are talking about what is legal. Secondly I do not see any sense in an overt generalisation that does not even buttress your point. If anyone is having sexual or marital relationship with a minor, it is illegal.

menvocate:
Get a lawyer... Sign a contract to marry her and educate her. If she breaches, she will be compelled to pay no matter the years it takes her.

If you breach your side of sending her to school, you should also pay certain amounts....

MA NIGGAA!!!

mapet:
Madam,

the point you miss is simple. We are not in discussion of "an average igbo man" or "an average Hausa man". Such discussions are should be left out of intellectually sound debates. We are talking about what is legal. Secondly I do not see any sense in an overt generalisation that does not even buttress your point. If anyone is having sexual or marital relationship with a minor, it is illegal.

Who is a minor if I may ask? Are you saying an 18yrs old lady is a minor? And of course any sexual or marital relationship with a minor is illegal , I have no argument with that.

elantraceey:
Who is a minor if I may ask?

15 for starters

Are you sure it is love or just lust? If you truly are sure you love her and vice versa and you are sure both of you can live together because marriage is very different from what you think and to my understanding of the qualities ans qualities you stated here, you are only lusting but if you are sure then get married legally to her and furthrr the responsibilities. People do it. At least If she later divorce you, u no go loss na..

If her parents and her objected to it, pls japa... You will be used because she might find a better man.

HitSong:
30 years old chasing after 18 years old child...
You're a pervert! Just like NED
What about all those girls of your age group that you fuckéd back then, who are you leaving them for to marry now?
Now you've seen a young beautiful virgin that you want to devour abi?
Will you give out your daughter at 18?
Karma will play out on the females in your life too...
Ẹ̀gbọ́n leave that small girl alone and Goan hustle.

Carry your foolishness out of this thread.
Mumu

Holluwhakemmy:
honestly you are the big fool here because I don't think you understand what you typed, how can you encourage 30 years old guy with 18 years lady without any tangible achievement in life.

So u want him to marry a 30yrs old?why shld he chooses a 30yr old over 18yrs give us 5 reasons.

you ought to be in jail by now. you're trying to take advantage of the family background. do you think if her family are well to do, they would even allow you to move close to their daughter ?



here you're complaining that the parent don't want you to use sex to destroy their daughter life. I pray that God should elevate this family and save them from sacrificing their daughter with their conditions

HitSong:
30 years old chasing after 18 years old child...
You're a pervert! Just like NED
What about all those girls of your age group that you fuckéd back then, who are you leaving them for to marry now?
Now you've seen a young beautiful virgin that you want to devour abi?
Will you give out your daughter at 18?
Karma will play out on the females in your life too...
Ẹ̀gbọ́n leave that small girl alone and Goan hustle.

baba.... 18yrs girl don ripe nau..... 30 marrying 18 ia not bad now.... abi u wan make him marry woman wey go first am old... u don forget how quick women gets old

GT07115:
Hi peeps, I am in love with an 18 years old lady who is from a very poor background as mine, I will be 30 this year and I intend settling down maritally this year or early next year, I would have loved her to gain admission before doing anything marriage with her.

I have discussed going back to school with her and getting a trade along, by her consent to it I have gave her money to enroll for jamb and NECO exam which will make her secure admission this year, the jamb result is out and OK pending NECO exam which will start next week.

My problem is the parent are financially handicapped to contribute a dime to her education and we are not married that means the whole stuff is on my head, I would have loved to marry this year if she was already in school or a graduate, I am the first son with responsibility of putting my younger ones through school. I feel I will be shouldering a lot of responsibility, the relationship is just one way sided and the parents don't give a breathing space whenever she spends some hours late in my house, like reminding me we are not married, the whole thing is that I love her, she is a lady I can talk to, and very young and beautiful.

chances are that once she's educated she will not see you as highly placed as she does now. the university changes a lot of naive young ladies. the lady you see now will not be the same that will come out of that university. my advice is marry her first even though this won't guarantee stability.

but all in all if you can send her to school just out of pure love and not expect her to marry you then you won't be hurt much if she changes even if this is unrealistic.

send her to school. be ready to bear the loss if she moves on to another but it will be a beautiful story if she's different from most others and sticks to you...

elantraceey:
Are you comparing a 15yr old child to a 9 yr old child? Plus I said they desire marriage, I never said they got married.

Continue shifting the goal post,
When you drop it, please let me know.

Regards

bizzibodi:
So u want him to marry a 30yrs old?why shld he chooses a 30yr old over 18yrs give us 5 reasons.

go and read my comment again it seems you don't understand.

HitSong:
30 years old chasing after 18 years old child...
You're a pervert! Just like NED
What about all those girls of your age group that you fuckéd back then, who are you leaving them for to marry now?
Now you've seen a young beautiful virgin that you want to devour abi?
Will you give out your daughter at 18?
Karma will play out on the females in your life too...
Ẹ̀gbọ́n leave that small girl alone and Goan hustle.

Nice one