GT07115:
Hi peeps, I am in love with an 18 years old lady who is from a very poor background as mine, I will be 30 this year and I intend settling down maritally this year or early next year, I would have loved her to gain admission before doing anything marriage with her.

I have discussed going back to school with her and getting a trade along, by her consent to it I have gave her money to enroll for jamb and NECO exam which will make her secure admission this year, the jamb result is out and OK pending NECO exam which will start next week.

My problem is the parent are financially handicapped to contribute a dime to her education and we are not married that means the whole stuff is on my head, I would have loved to marry this year if she was already in school or a graduate, I am the first son with responsibility of putting my younger ones through school. I feel I will be shouldering a lot of responsibility, the relationship is just one way sided and the parents don't give a breathing space whenever she spends some hours late in my house, like reminding me we are not married, the whole thing is that I love her, she is a lady I can talk to, and very young and beautiful.

Don't trade that part, if u love her, marry her and send her to school, the mistake u will ever regrets is to send her to Schl wt the intension to marry her thereafter. Dnt toe dt part, bcs am a witnx of such and even a victim

Ahmed0336:
My Grand father once told me not to marry any lady out of pity.

dis is deep ,wisdom one finish ur grandfather ...

My problem is the parent are financially handicapped to contribute a dime to her education and we are not married that means the whole stuff is on my head

Right now the problem is her schooling but in future other issues will present themselves.

You say the parents are quick to collect from you also but are not willing to let her stay long with you based on the nature of the relationship.
My brother, I will advice you to leave the situation now before your eyes clear and only regret will fill your mind.
To bring the situation here means you're already counting the risks vs benefits and recognizing you're at a loss.
Love does not put food on the table nor money in your account. If you can catch someone with a more priviledged background I suggest you do it.

A lot of young girls are quick to change their minds after a man educates them like in your situation.
Her age does not give me hope such won't happen.

If only the girl in question knows how many people are deliberating on her matter

My take on this is that Op doesn't have to marry her yet just cos he wants security of sending her to school. Are there not people that offer such out of free will?

Send her to school, first 2yrs will determine what her future will be. Hopefully she doesn't fall pregnant for another man.
The first 2yrs will kindda expose her, gain some. Mental development and give you insight to what she might become when she is older. So send her to school and watch her for the next 2yrs if things are still lovely Btw you two by then, go ahead and marry her.

Don't tie her down with marriage. She might agree to be cool with it all these this year just cos of her situation and next yr things change and u will see a different her entirely. Don't be in haste to marry her just to secure her, she might turn out to be ur worst nightmare.
When you are poor you exhibit another person character but when ure rich your own character will surface.

HitSong:

30 years old chasing after 18 years old child...
You're a pervert! Just like NED
What about all those girls of your age group that you fuckéd back then, who are you leaving them for to marry now?
Now you've seen a young beautiful virgin that you want to devour abi?
Will you give out your daughter at 18?
Karma will play out on the females in your life too...
Ẹ̀gbọ́n leave that small girl alone and Goan hustle.

how many years your papa take senior your mama ?


Just a question oh.

menvocate:
Get a lawyer... Sign a contract to marry her and educate her. If she breaches, she will be compelled to pay no matter the years it takes her.

If you breach your side of sending her to school, you should also pay certain amounts....

This appears to me as if this is a suggestion for a potential 'contract marriage' and I am not sure if it will hold water in court if there is any breach. For the fact that you are in love with someone today doesn't mean you will still be in love with them or them in love with you tomorrow. If he is loaning her the money for her education and there is a legal contract in place signed by both party in the presence of their individual legal representative and if possible, filed and notorized then that's reasonable and not even guaranteed. However, tying the contract to a matter of heart is not something I think could be legally binding. I am not a lawyer and that's my take.

ngwababe:
I don't even support a guy getting married to a lady that's not up to 26yrs. 18year old is an adult but can she handle challenges? not to talk of one that hasnt seen the four walls of university. Nna, think well oo, ife nile aburo love ooooo

Haba so a lady of 23, 24, 25 is not ripe for marriage?

chiboy1116:
how many years your papa take senior your mama ?


Just a question oh.

An 18 year old dating a 30 year old is different to a 26 year old dating a 38 year old

Key difference is mental development and experiences. I won’t call him a pervert per se, she’s technically an adult, but if you heard your 18 year old sister was dating a 30 year old man most people would do a double take

Mmm was a beautiful tin ,in riches n in wealth but in sickness n in crashing dey went straight to Ghana wen u invest nw she gets 2 "twenty something " she will b glowing nd u will b rolling last last na her age mate she go marry oo use ur tongue count ur teeth

baba your village ppl are really serious about your matter.....
how can you send a Nigeria girl of the age too school and you expect her too come back after five years for you.....
(my brother at your own risk)
when she start living campus life you know how meany sweet mouthed or rich guys she will be expose too out their..... with this are level of maturity...am sorry bro she can't overcome the challenges......
if you want too help her just do it from your heart.... not because you will end up marring her cuse that won is a risk game.......

Bro, remember you're dealing with a woman here. They're like venomous snake trapped in a cage. Save it, you will be the first to bite. Just go and find yourself a wife she's not your wife. A word is enough for the wise.

If you really love her let her finish her education before you marry her.

As she's poor she might not be letting you know the truth: if she truly loves you or not. Not to scupper her chances of education through your help.

At 18 she will meet "hot" guys from 18 to 25 at university. And she might lose control and cheat on you. Finish her studies then follow another guy. Then you will come here and lament her ungrateful women are.

At 18 she has probably not dated properly before. The age gap between you and her is far BIGGER than between someone who is 39 and the girl is 28 even though both are chronologically same.

People change a lot between 18 and 25. She has not lived her life at all. Many women later feel they were caged too early. Lots cheat when they get older and begin to work. She will then be meeting the types of guys she'd have liked to marry if she had a choice by that time. Temptation can be very big.

Although many regard 18 to 25 as olosho age for women, it it not so for all.

Think carefully. You can assist her but not in expectation of marriage or appreciation.

menvocate:
Get a lawyer... Sign a contract to marry her and educate her. If she breaches, she will be compelled to pay no matter the years it takes her.

If you breach your side of sending her to school, you should also pay certain amounts....

Good advice, cus u may regret sending her to sch and she later says he is not in her level

Love is NOT the only thing in marriage! Don't carry a responsibility that is not yours. There is this song I use to enjoy in the 80s. A man sent a lady to school. When she graduated, she refused to marry the man instead asked that she refund all that the man had spent on her. You may send her to school, when she is through, she will cut all ties with you since there is nothing binding both of you. Enough said.

Mcslize:


18 years old girl na madam o. Forget about the age and look at it from the body stature aspect, you will be shocked how matured they look in figure and posture. I once saw a girl of 19 years. First, I thought she would be around 25 to 27. But I was shocked when she said she was 19.

I opened my mouth for like 60 seconds I no gree close am due to how surprised I was. From that day, I never judge a girl by her figure.

But you are obviously judging ladies by their figure when you say you cant marry someone older so stop contradicting yourself, hope you know there are ladies that look way younger than their age soo much that you won't believe it so quit being myopic, not all ladies would like to settle down with men who look like their father in appearances too.

HitSong:

30 years old chasing after 18 years old child...
You're a pervert! Just like NED
What about all those girls of your age group that you fuckéd back then, who are you leaving them for to marry now?
Now you've seen a young beautiful virgin that you want to devour abi?
Will you give out your daughter at 18?
Karma will play out on the females in your life too...
Ẹ̀gbọ́n leave that small girl alone and Goan hustle.

sharrraaaaap you are not making any sense
the girl is already an adult no child abuse in this case or pervert issue even some of our mothers here as them when did they marry you would be surprised 18 is not bad for a girl if she is mature and educationally accomplished

But in this case I think this brother is about to put himself into future wahala with the parent of the girl that is even if the girl loves him and not because of his money but if she doesn't double wahala. the parents are not okay with you marrying her man wake up before you make investment wey wey no go pay you cos of love, once she is done with education if she doesn't leave you her parents will convince her to and moreover you are incurring liabilities, man just marry a lady who has something going on for her and educationally accomplished she would help you sustain you family no problem you too you already know the answer to your write up which is future problem wake up

there are other ladies out there who are accomplished

If you want to pay her way through school, do it out of the goodness of your heart but don't tie her down with conditions as a result

breakerofchains:
This is manipulative as f*ck.
I don't care if it's legal or not.

See the way they're talking about "marry her before you train her"

No wonder some women see marriage as a trap.

Uncle, don't train her. Leave her alone. She'll be fine.

Just know her eyes won't be closed for ever.

Lmaoooo
See as u dey huff n puff...calm down na

GT07115:
Hi peeps, I am in love with an 18 years old lady who is from a very poor background as mine, I will be 30 this year and I intend settling down maritally this year or early next year, I would have loved her to gain admission before doing anything marriage with her.

I have discussed going back to school with her and getting a trade along, by her consent to it I have gave her money to enroll for jamb and NECO exam which will make her secure admission this year, the jamb result is out and OK pending NECO exam which will start next week.

My problem is the parent are financially handicapped to contribute a dime to her education and we are not married that means the whole stuff is on my head, I would have loved to marry this year if she was already in school or a graduate, I am the first son with responsibility of putting my younger ones through school. I feel I will be shouldering a lot of responsibility, the relationship is just one way sided and the parents don't give a breathing space whenever she spends some hours late in my house, like reminding me we are not married, the whole thing is that I love her, she is a lady I can talk to, and very young and beautiful.

You know what if truly she is wife material ,marry her and enrol her in vocational schools let her learn baking,or sewing etc you can set up little business for her concentrate on your family .
Later on she can enrol in school we now have open university ,other universities also deal in distance learning
Concerning the business makes sure you tie it to your self as per the shop and watch her spending ....Dpmt be too fast in investing on women ..iam one and can tel you er pretend for Africa her self and family might c u as a way out and so will do anything to make you feel she is the perfect one till she gets bearing

funmisticqueen:
in essence you want him to put someone else's daughter to subjugation and poverty so you can claim man of the house.

Op, there is no pressure to marry, if you are complaining about bills then you are not as financially. stable as you would have us believe. Sending her to school is something you ought to do because you want to with no strings attached, not because you want to marry her, if you marry her now, she won't have enough experiences to upgrade her life, she will always be your shadow. But then that is what you want.

If you can't wait for her to mature a little, then you don't really love her at all. let her choose you, don't pressurize her

Ok. Slow down madam, I think you've mixed some things up
1. The primary issue is that the guy want's to settle down, not that he wants to educate the girl. Life is complicated at times and present this kind of chicken-egg situation.
2. Pragmatically speaking, it is the responsibility of the girl's parents to send her to school and not the guy's. If he does it, then he's either magnanimous or "investing"; I guess that is why some people with deep introspection sees it as a gamble, if they are not married.
3. I am curious about what you mean by "she won't have enough experiences to upgrade her life" ... Like she would be uneducated? She would not experience school life? or lemme think otherwise, like she would not be "sampled" by other boyfriends? She will not be free to attend parties? I can't think of what she will miss, if she will be educated. She will compete with all her peers on equal footing, she may probably loose a year or so when she goes to put to bed (and may not, if she's strong). Check this! She could probably end up being more "upgraded" than all her peers in 10-20yrs time.
4. On #3 above let me give you few classic examples.
a. Kanu Nwankwo married Amarachi when she was 18. Amarachi is an Architect today (studied in England)
b. Omotola Jalade-Ekehinde was wedded at 18. In fact was in Yaba Tech when my junior brother was there years back. Omotola think dropped 2x....we all know how "upgraded" Omotola is today
c. Ijeru Aghahowa was in my wife's class back in University (Year 2/3 Law) when she got married. I think today she probably runs one of the biggest supermarket in Ikoyi - ("upgraded" +)
d. Tara Fela-Durotoye was in class with them. She also got married in school.... - "Upgraded" +++

I don't think any of these women live in there husband's shadow.....they are holding their own grounds and doing well.

theButterfly:
If you want to pay her way through school, do it out of the goodness of your heart but don't tie her down with the conditions as a result

Goodness of heart kee u dia...

Just see how immature u sound...

elantraceey:




There's a difference please, theirs is consensual , the ladies actually want to get married unlike the Hausa that gives out their daughters without the daughters consent.

Aunty,

There is no difference if it is NOT within the ambit of the law.

ladiesreject:

elantraceey: :




There's a difference please, theirs is consensual , the ladies actually want to get married unlike the Hausa that gives out their daughters without the daughters consent.

Who told you they don't consent to it?
Have you ever seen a Hausa/Fulani girl that said she was forced into a marriage? Or you talk base on the fake news you mostly read online?

Am not a Muslim or Hausa, but the way the southerners insult their northern counterparts, you'll think they are not also guilty of this same act. It's wrong for a 15 years old to get married but it's not wrong for a 15 years old to fvck different d!cks, that's according to the southerners.

Hypocrites everywhere.

I am with you on this

Op strikes me as someone who wants a wife he can subdue, control and submit to him without question so who better than a teenager naive of life, but he forgets that life, same as human evolves with time, things are changing fast and we all change with the tide, that girl does not know A in anything marriage and it cannot be taught, marriage is something she has to know, realise, accept on her own but then, Op is adamant and has made up his mind so good luck.

elantraceey:



I have an Hausa lady friend that was married off at 14 and trust me you wouldn't want any lady in your life to go through what she have been through . Everyone is entitled to how they want to live their lives as long as they're hurting nobody , just don't force or decieve people into what they'll regret later.

... and you "conveniently" missed the experience of your 15yr-old igbo friends?

Xaos:
99% of the female monikers against this are unmarried women. And the excuses are just too short of nonsense.

This should be an interesting ride.

Where is lalasticlala self

It ain't hard to tell.Older ladies always hate it when men have the choice to go for younger women while leaving them single with their raggedy,used up bodies.I see through all their manipulative comments

ibkayee:

An 18 year old dating a 30 year old is different to a 26 year old dating a 38 year old

Key difference is mental development and experiences. I won’t call him a pervert per se, she’s technically an adult, but if you heard your 18 year old sister was dating a 30 year old man most people would do a double take

yea , lol, i wouldn't take that from my 18 year old daughter at all , but seems like her parents are okay with it , it's not wrong legally though .

HitSong:

30 years old chasing after 18 years old child...
You're a pervert! Just like NED
What about all those girls of your age group that you fuckéd back then, who are you leaving them for to marry now?
Now you've seen a young beautiful virgin that you want to devour abi?
Will you give out your daughter at 18?
Karma will play out on the females in your life too...
Ẹ̀gbọ́n leave that small girl alone and Goan hustle.

Haba my brother this yabbing too much na!!!!!