finding the right partner is difficult

lastmessenger:
pass me whatever that is giving you this inspiration. I need to partake in it abeg

Weed

Michelle55:

A perfectionist? Learn to give room for mistakes and adjustment. Things mustn't go your way or how you planned it most times. Relationships doesn't have set rules and regulations, just go with the flow!!

It is called having a standard.
I understand some people can just tag along with anybody, the moment I make my intentions known to you and we are already talking about future, it is expected that we show respect to people.

If someone does not understand respect then it is going to be a big problem in future.
The quality of training have reduced these days so some things appear as not so bad but they are signals to some deep red flags that a man should try and avoid.

And I gave room for mistakes and adjustment , that was why I corrected the person twice and she still continued. That kind of person have absolutely no regard or does not understand the basic human way of behaviour and interraction.

bLacKGoLd3:


Did you attend the Igbo Cultural day that held last month in Calgary? Trust me, not only Igbos graced the occasion - it's usually a mixed group because Nigerian ladies in diaspora also share similar sentiments and are looking to connect with their Naija brothers too.

I'd advise you also look to the East African (Tanzania gets my top recommendation) and West African (Ghana gets my top recommendation) communities in your locality. Unless you are stuck on a particular tribe, our cultures are quite similar. Forget the vertical lines drawn by colonialists.

You need to also prayerfully approach a decision as crucial as marriage.

Hey brotherly , thank you for your response. I have attended a few cultural events but I stopped attending cos most ladies I see are over 30 years old.
I can tell you I am yet to see a <30year old single Nigerian lady , not that they dont exist but I have yet to meet them.
I am sure even you may not know too many, so I just got tired and decided to give up on the option of finding my category of people here, cos truly before a lady will be able to be set for express entry and stuff they will either me more than 30 years or very close.

So it is quite complicated....

Where is franchansg...

Thought a man can marry a woman in the blink of an eye if he wishes?

Come and see genuine stories from men. Not those fantasies you put up.

I say it again, all of us are in this rat race together. However, I salute men for being more chilled about theirs. But then, they have no "biological clock" (as it is called) to contend with.

calgaryFriend:
I can relate with you OP. For me I am outside of the country and I already made up my mind not to marry from outside the country. I have been meeting people online but after relating with them for sometime I realise the extent of how ignorant, materialistic and focus-less most ladies are.

I was following up with a lady last week, then I saw her whatsap status - ENU GBE, E FUN MI LOWO ENU GBG (i am broke, please give me money I am broke). What kind of human being comes on social media to write such trash ? People dont even have respect for themselves or their families.

WheN i WAS in school I was placed on minimum wage and I tried to live within my means how can people just begin to behave like peasants, so that pissed me off and I just cancelled that babe.

The next one was even a little promising but on 2 occasions I was speaking to her and she was speaking to other people, imagine chatting someone and they admit they are also chatting up to 7 people at the same time.

Then I rebuked the person and the next few days we are talking on phone and the person is typing and after I asked what was going on she said she was chatting with people while speaking with me on whatsap call, I did not even react, but I just cancelled her in my mind.

It is quite tough really, the quality of women out there is really very low, we just have a few who are young and have proper sense.

Goodluck as we continue to search...

From the Diary of one your other 4 monikers on Nairaland ( Guitarlife, Guitarlife2, etc ) you have got two girlfriends in Calgary, not to add the others you're chatting with . To attract a loyal person, try practicing it yaself.

calgaryFriend:

Hey brotherly , thank you for your response. I have attended a few cultural events but I stopped attending cos most ladies I see are over 30 years old.
I can tell you I am yet to see a <30year old single Nigerian lady , not that they dont exist but I have yet to meet them.
I am sure even you may not know too many, so I just got tired and decided to give up on the option of finding my category of people here, cos truly before a lady will be able to be set for express entry and stuff they will either me more than 30 years or very close.

So it is quite complicated....

One friend of mine married a 24-yo white chick, their marriage lasted only 1year. He hyped her before the marriage... she was perfect, young, this n that. After the marriage he now admitted she was disrespectful, talked back, never listened, had a bf . He is now happily married, this time to a 31yo. Fyi, some 30-somethings yo women look younger than 20-somethings.

Zielle:
From the Diary of one your other 4 monikers on Nairaland ( Guitarlife, Guitarlife2, etc ) you have got two girlfriends in Calgary, not to add the others you're chatting with . To attract a loyal person, try practicing it yaself.

One friend of mine married a 24-yo white chick, their marriage lasted only 1year. He hyped her before the marriage... she was perfect, young, this n that. After the marriage he now admitted she was disrespectful, talked back, never listened, had a bf . He is now happily married, this time to a 31yo. Fyi, some 30-somethings yo women look younger than 20-somethings.

hi Zielle
This is the second time people are linking me guitarlife , I am not that guy... damn...
Now to address your other issues that you raised. I am not considering a white chick especially for these reasons that you raised, I am here and know exactly how they behave and whatsup with them.

My choice of wanting a lady less than 25years is personal, someone less than 25years and raised and bred in Nigeria thats my standard, the reason why men are encouraged to work hard is so that they can be in control of their own life.

Trust me most ladies that meet me throw themselves at me (apologies if this sounds like pride) but a man will choose how he wants his home to look like, and it starts from the kind of spouse he chooses for himself.

I hope you get ....

bluskyee:
bro where are you from, I like this guy already. You see the one with everything she is already taken....who them come leave the remaining for?

I am no bro, I am a sis.

The ones you want that are always taken, have you ever considered the fact that someone contributed in building/moulding them?

They were most likely not born that way. They learned from experiences and people (sometimes their exes).

Why can't we be a little more accomodating?

All this self-love that everyone is forming on social media, it leads to loneliness o.

SageMK:
Be a success.
Set your priorities right as a man.
And you'll find it easy finding a partner.

Be a success or a lier

boiz2men:
my dilemma

Lol, just keep kwayet.

Yours will be harder because...

calgaryFriend:

This is the second time people are linking me guitarlife , I am not that guy... damn...

Stop lying. Guitarlife, Guitarlife2, lookingforlove1 and your other monikers all have the same phone numbers and emails, the same way we link scammers on Nairaland.

Zielle:
Stop lying. Guitarlife, Guitarlife2, lookingforlove1 and your other monikers all have the same phone numbers and emails

henhen are you sure ?
And what is your take on the matter, I see you are not even saying anything about my response...
And where is the phone number ?

Bossjakande:
u have a point dear is not easy even if one is despirate to get married if I rush marry ugly person or a girl DAT is an illitrate dont u think it will lead to regret later in life. I still think u can still get DAT perfect person just shine ur eyes and be serious.know wat u want in a woman or man and be prayerful. if I see a girl I love DAT is not married but got a boyfriwnd and I like her I tried to snatch her.if she aint got a ring shes still single as far as am concerned

Ah, boss boss.

This one weak me o.

AntiBrutus:


Ah, boss boss.

This one weak me o.

E dey happen well.some dude with a wifey chick entered PWC, next thing his boss dey send am upandan naija on assignment until the boss and the chick invited him for wedding.

My sis dey tell me say hide yo man until ring dey, cause sometimes na even your paddy wey go make the move.

Zielle:
Stop lying. Guitarlife, Guitarlife2, lookingforlove1 and your other monikers all have the same phone numbers and emails, the same way we link scammers on Nairaland.

I am a hardworking young man not a scammer fa....

ornicus:


E dey happen well. some dude with a wifey chick entered PWC, next thing his boss dey send am upandan naija on assignment until the boss and the chick invited him for wedding.

My sis dey tell me say hide yo man until ring dey, cause sometimes na even your paddy wey go make the move.

Lmao...

Things are happening.

calgaryFriend:

It is called having a standard.
I understand some people can just tag along with anybody, the moment I make my intentions known to you and we are already talking about future, it is expected that we show respect to people.

If someone does not understand respect then it is going to be a big problem in future.
The quality of training have reduced these days so some things appear as not so bad but they are signals to some deep red flags that a man should try and avoid.

And I gave room for mistakes and adjustment , that was why I corrected the person twice and she still continued. That kind of person have absolutely no regard or does not understand the basic human way of behaviour and interraction.

Some people are slow in learning you know, you just have to be patient. BTW, I understood your point though!

calgaryFriend:

henhen are you sure ?
And what is your take on the matter, I see you are not even saying anything about my response...
And where is the phone number ?

You've written this number on your posts in your other monikers: 07032035317, same with these emails ayonaira2@zoho.com, calgaryfriend@zoho.com. You've another numbers and emails obviously. It's not me you're fooling.

You edited the post after I had quoted it. It's up to ya to marry whoever you want na. Just don't come disturbing us on Nairaland later. I wouldn't touch you with a 10-foot pole going by the traits you display.... but other girls hv low standards, i know.

calgaryFriend:

I am a hardworking young man not a scammer fa....

Yimu. You might as well be a scammer.

You call yourself young at 32 going on 33 but 30, 31, 32-yo women are old? Dumb hypocrite. Man with the brain of a toddler, that's u.

Ishilove:

It seems you are a very difficult, rigid and impatient person.

You get am.

He’s probably over 30 too. Men at that stage tend to be rigid about some things. No time to condone any unserious behaviour. Serious, focussed babes only.

Zielle:
You've written this number on your posts in your other monikers: 07032035317, same with these emails ayonaira2@zoho.com, calgaryfriend@zoho.com. You've another numbers and emails obviously. It's not me you're fooling.

You edited the post after I had quoted it. It's up to ya to marry whoever you want na. Just don't come disturbing us on Nairaland later. I wouldn't touch you with a 10-foot pole going by the traits you display.... but other girls hv low standards, i know.

Yimu. You might as well be a scammer.

You call yourself young at 32 going on 33 but 30, 31, 32-yo women are old? Dumb hypocrite. Man with the brain of a toddler, that's u.

Seriously ? Why are you this bitter, tell me, do you have some deep issues or something ?
Like I said, stop throwing someone else's profile at me.

You left the topic of discussion and started conspiracy theories.. come on babe, come on.

How did the discussion dis-integrated to the bolded, you should apologise, if you do, I will forgive you and we kiss and make up.

Life is not so hard ... we dont need to sound so bitter on/offline...

Altern8:


You get am.

He’s probably over 30 too. Men at that stage tend to be rigid about some things. No time to condone any unserious behaviour. Serious, focussed babes only.

Yeah I am over 30years, and I think you my friend understand where I am coming from.

It is the responsibility of a man to choose his wife and not all women are wife-able. It is forgiveable if you date one but as a man if you notice that the woman is not your standard, move on.

@Zielle, what is the problem with a 30+ year old man wanting to marry a 25 year old lady ?
That has always been the norm, all my friends have an age gap of between 7 -11 years between them and their spouses...

Ned Nwoko even comes to mind, it is not a big deal , like I said 55year old men whoose wives are 55 year old too will tell you not to make that same mistake.

Men learn from what I am saying, marry a younger girl with good home training and upbringing, that is the only reward for all your years of labour, I don talk my own.

calgaryFriend:


Seriously ? Why are you this bitter, tell me, do you have some deep issues or something ?
Like I said, stop throwing someone else's profile at me.

You left the topic of discussion and started conspiracy theories.. come on babe, come on.

How did the discussion dis-integrated to the bolded, you should apologise, if you do, I will forgive you and we kiss and make up.

Life is not so hard ... we dont need to sound so bitter on/offline...

Abeg, stop lying. . All of those monikers belong to you, Yemi . Like I said you're not fooling me.

Apologize for wetin? The only apology needed rn is from you for your lies and hypocrisy

Zielle:
Abeg, stop lying. . All of those monikers belong to you, Yemi . Like I said you're not fooling me.

Calm down now, like I stated what you wrote was not nice I hope you know and you should apologise .

Moving on you may be a great woman with the right outlook but you dont know how low most women think, you dont date them it is men that date them and thats why almost all the men on the thread are saying the same thing.

Girlfriend plenty but wife scarce.

calgaryFriend:

Yeah I am over 30years, and I think you my friend understand where I am coming from.

It is the responsibility of a man to choose his wife and not all women are wife-able. It is forgiveable if you date one but as a man if you notice that the woman is not your standard, move on.

@Zielle, what is the problem with a 30+ year old man wanting to marry a 25 year old lady ?
That has always been the norm, all my friends have an age gap of between 7 -11 years between them and their spouses...

Ned Nwoko even comes to mind, it is not a big deal , like I said 55year old men whoose wives are 55 year old too will tell you not to make that same mistake.

Men learn from what I am saying, marry a younger girl with good home training and upbringing, that is the only reward for all your years of labour, I don talk my own.

I've said there is nothing wrong with marrying whoever you want to marry. Just don't come disturbing Nairaland later. I know you're an open book in that way. Continue being the huge liar n hypocrite that you are, Yemi. It's ur life, ur choice.

Zielle:
I've said there is nothing wrong with marrying whoever you want to marry. Just don't come disturbing Nairaland later. I know you're an open book in that way. Continue being the huge liar n hypocrite that you are, Yemi. It's ur life, ur choice.

You owe me an apology for those terrible words you said, if you fail to apologise I expect your conscience to worry you...

Zielle:
From the Diary of one your other 4 monikers on Nairaland ( Guitarlife, Guitarlife2, etc ) you have got two girlfriends in Calgary, not to add the others you're chatting with . To attract a loyal person, try practicing it yaself.

One friend of mine married a 24-yo white chick, their marriage lasted only 1year. He hyped her before the marriage... she was perfect, young, this n that. After the marriage he now admitted she was disrespectful, talked back, never listened, had a bf . He is now happily married, this time to a 31yo. Fyi, some 30-somethings yo women look younger than 20-somethings.

very rare.calgaryfriend no just want woman weh go come turn to em mama for em house.
You know una way na.after 30 na explosion and stretch mark and at times very WIDE womanliness(vagina) dey nack una steady.
How person go marry woman weh e no go enjoy before elastic limit set in?

Iogobenz:
very rare.calgaryfriend no just want woman weh go come turn to em mama for em house.
You know una way na.after 30 na explosion and stretch mark and at times very WIDE womanliness(vagina) dey nack una steady.
How person go marry woman weh e no go enjoy before elastic limit set in?

False. It's uber stupid to make these sorta assumptions. I don't look my age in real life, plus trust me some 20-somethings have been around . I practically have no experience compared to a 20-something. Some women in their early 30s have kept themselves very well or are still virgins. Never judge a woman by her age

calgaryFriend:

I get your point, and it did not happen once but severally.
Lastly, I am not supposed to just a friend, this is someone we have started discussing future plans just that she has not officially said "Yes" .

My hour is worth 100times what her own hour is currently worth if you want to classify it by pay rate, and I am older than her far older but I still show respect to her by giving her all the attention at that time.

So for these reasons it shows she lacks respect or does still not understand what commitment means.

There are somethings that are basic and if a lady does not have them no need to start training a lady at 23years .

Just move on. There are some things parents, education and exposure should teach one.

Once I complained about it the first time she is not supposed to still continue.

Corndoning that will mean I will condone any other thing.

Oh now I see it's a recurring attitude.... Alot is taking her attention

Zielle:
False. I don't look my age in real life, plus trust me some 20-somethings have been around . I practically have no experience compared to a 20-something. Some women in their early 30s have kept themselves very well or are still virgins. Never judge a woman by her age

And the women in their thirties now,didn't they pass through twenties as well what stops them from hiding their wolfy skin under beef hide?
look,let me tell you something.
Most women that aren't married till they hit 30 have some flaws too,reason why they hit that age and are still single.
Some of the Flaws include:
- no direction in life(I won't touch these)
-bad attitude and bossy nature.
-sleep arounds(wide wide aunties) a.k.a borehole!
-Impatience...etc.
So it is when they hit 30+(extra time),they now correct themselves and start looking desperately for who will carry the excess baggage.
I know what I am saying too well.

Zielle:
False. I don't look my age in real life, plus trust me some 20-somethings have been around . I practically have no experience compared to a 20-something. Some women in their early 30s have kept themselves very well or are still virgins. Never judge a woman by her age

You are right, I have seen many 30+ ladies here that look very 20 something.
But menopause does not care, a lady has a decreased sexual appetite at menopause and they become very irritable to things like sex.

So for a man who is still extremely aroused at 55+ years and a woman who is already tiring of sex, it becomes a huge problem.

Nature is on the side of men marrying younger girls..... Even our culture supports that approach.

calgaryFriend:

You owe me an apology for those terrible words you said, if you fail to apologise I expect your conscience to worry you...

Typical Nigerian man: do wrong but the woman must apologize. Nonsense

calgaryFriend:


I did not cancel her out immidiately, I spoke to her gently and let her know it is disrespectful to the other person. I have asked her out and I have even gone as far as letting her know I really would love to start a serious relationship with her, the fact she still continued after I let her know I dont like that shows 2 things.

1. She does not understand the word respect. My time is also precious and I have many people to chat but I show respect to her by not chattin g multiple people at the same time. HOW can you be discussing with someone about how you guys want your future to look like and she is typing away while still on the call ? You may justify of trivialise that but it is a red flag. Mutual respect is important in any relationship.

2. She may have another relationship or several other relationships.

I think I can relate to she chatting with other people . I always tell people that when someone that seems interested in you is chatting u up and you don't respond accordingly on chat, there is someone distracting them and it's disrespectful for her not to reply on time.
She may or might not be in another relationships