₦airaland Forum

martinskelly:
Sirdouglas, i have been in this kind of dilemma before but mine was slightly different from yours anyway though she is not educated but smart in her own way and she is beautiful, work as a contract staff(Casual as they call it) in the same company i work, she knows how to hairdress people(i mean hairdresser).
The problem in my own case is that the first time i saw her i just felt a thing for her(Cupid), i talked to her the first time she snubbed me and on several occasions i try making her see reasons that i like her but she still refused me but i got know from her best friend the reasons for her refusal that because i was an Admin staff(Parmanent) and she is contract staff and i just wanted to use and dump her.
To cut the story short, i had to brush up her mindset and we started dating but i have never ever imagine myself marrying her just a fling with her is what i desire, but God come catch me o, after a year of dating her(fling) she got pregnant for me(i knew i was responsible coz during that time i was the only one in her life) she wanted abortion; Nope! i wanted the child not her(if u know).
I stopped her from working and was catering for all her needs but the funny part is that we did not tell her parent up until she delivered but only her sibling knew because they were around but the parent are in the village, Well to God be the glory my own parent accepted her because she delivered a bouncing baby boy(Even if it is otherwise it doesn't change a thing)

So bro, its your own decision and your parent acceptance that matters not even your best friends nor nairalanders, so decide wisely.


Note: i did introduction(iku aka) after like 8 months of her pregnancy, she is from akwa ibom and I'm from IMO and my son is nine months.

Way to go, brother, I doff my hats for you mate.

Use your hand mould your thing the way you want am. Who no like am can goan dieee.

The op dey here dey talk English and how him wan take dey abroad for five years. Who cares.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Sirdouglas, nothing is permanent, she being naive and dumb can change with the right education and exposure. A single mom of twin ain't easy and she's very young. I know how cunning onitsha people can get though so I'll advise you make sure d baby is really twins cos they might have said that so you cough up double.

My dear, I am waiting for her to deliver first. I am not sending any more money until she delivers. She told me she will be delivering this month so I am waiting.

sirdouglas:
My dear, I am waiting for her to deliver first. I am not sending any more money until she delivers. She told me she will be delivering this month so I am waiting.

That's good. If it's twins, try and marry her.

Hmm man you started dating her at age 19, in Nigeria she still a teenager, you don't expect a teenager who is not well exposed to know it all, the reasons you gave for not wanting to marry her are not reasonable, she's that naive cause she's young and lacks the exposure, you can train her and polish her to your own taste,

AwkaetitiBabe:
That's good. If it's twins, try and marry her.

Even if I want to marry her. That marriage is not holding till five years time so if that is the only option in the table and I confirm beyond every reasonable doubt that the child is mine then I do the needful.

sirdouglas:
I want to also add that if it is true that she is having twins, then the issue of whether I am the father or not is eliminated because we have twins in our family. My two sisters are twins, my uncle had twins also so it wouldn't come as a surprise if it's true.

If it can be brought to the front page I will be glad. I need all the suggestions I can get. Please

This is a wrong paternity test. The fact that you have twins in your family doesn't count, she is the one releasing or dividing eggs in multiplies.

Meanwhile, na wa for you o. You surely shouldn't marry out of pity but you owe her a lot in terms of this mess clean up.

daddytime:
Judging from your narrative, it is safe to say the young girl is a 'beauty without brains' whatever that means, and I'm sure her beauty was what got you hooked before you tasted the pie and subsequently realized she wasn't so smart.

Bro, I'm going to be straight up with you like I always do man...Selfish and self-centered is what you are (in bold).

You never hear say meat wey person no dey chop say him no suppose use teeth share am?

Oh because she was pretty, undemanding and mgbekeish, you decided to hold on to her, leading her on, and only started being honest to her about your plans when you had started making your travel plans and thus realized she'd be too local for your new status?

My bro, if that girl were my sister, and you had the effrontery to come to my house to spill what you just did here, you wouldn't have been able to use that visa of yours, and I'd have personally aborted the pregnancy with my bare hands. What insult.

If she's not good enough for you to wife, she shouldn't have been good enough for you to dickk and of course mother your baby(s).

This is even worse than a baby mama thingy, this is a baby factory one.

All the story about you making it clear to her that you won't be marrying her are just some cunning silly afterthoughts of a chronic user who had a game plan from the get-go.

There's something I'll tell you now if you like take am if you no like leave am.

I just hope and pray you won't come back looking for and begging this lady in the future and by what time it'd have been late already because you'd pay for your bid to selfishly destroy this young girl's life and dump her. For whom I ask after one o'clock?

Look around you and you'd find examples of cases like this where the man would come begging after years when his recompense would have been served steamy hot.

You no see GEJ and PEJ? How you see dem upon say PEJ dey break bottle with English?

You had better retraced your step, my friend, learn to love that babe, marry her and start a family with her or else you go regret am o.

Forget all these your later later excuses abeg

No mind d idiot......... small change weh dey him hand dey shakam

pesinfada:
No mind d idiot......... small change weh dey him hand dey shakam

The stingy thing think say na small children dey here wey go dey tell am sweet words wey him wan hear.

E carry another man pikin dey nack for ground Bleep her anyhow...no be say e dey care for the girl o according to him words, na now wey God wan super glue am with the girl e come remember say she be mgbeke...you never see life my guy. Karma

Thank God say you get sisters...just imagine a guy treating one of them exactly the same way you are confidently stating treating this naive girl.

You never see anything.
Life is bigger than you think bro...even if na Mars you go, you must collect.

Be wise and guided.

Not judging you, just stating the bitter undiluted truth you'd naturally hate to hear.

Insult me till next year, I care not.

daddytime:
The stingy thing think say na small children dey here wey go dey tell am sweet words wey him wan hear.

E carry another man pikin dey nack for ground Bleep her anyhow...no be say e dey care for the girl o according to him words, na now wey God wan super glue am with the girl e come remember say she be mgbeke...you never see life my guy. Karma

Thank God say you get sisters...just imagine a guy treating one of them exactly the same way you are confidently stating treating this naive girl.

You never see anything.
Life is bigger than you think bro...even if na Mars you go, you must collect.

Be wise and guided.

Not judging you, just stating the bitter undiluted truth you'd naturally hate to hear.

Insult me till next year, I care not.

You have not answered my question bro. The girl you impregnated at 14 how far?? I hope you married her then and did all the marriage rites??

Coz If you didn't and you are here taking it personal for God's knows why, maybe out of regret or frustration I don't know but take it elsewhere. I am really more you or will ever imagine. I am old enough to take my decision and nothing will happen. If you have any wisdom in you, you ought to know that this is here today because I have no intention of hurting anybody.

I know that frustration is in that country so I wouldn't blame some of you you for the excessive aggression and unnecessary outburst.

For the castrated fool that is calling me an idiot. I am not offneded cos I am dead sure fear no go let am near me in person not to talk call me an idiot so is nothing. Words are cheap and free. If you leave this comment section it will be your shame.

sisisioge:
This is a wrong paternity test. The fact that you have twins in your family doesn't count, she is the one releasing or dividing eggs in multiplies.

Meanwhile, na wa for you o. You surely shouldn't marry out of pity but you owe her a lot in terms of this mess clean up.

That's exactly what I am talking about. How do you propose that I do this so she can enjoy her life to the fullest and don't feel useless or used apart from marriage. If she gives birth to one, I no go reason am but two..... Meen that sh*t means something.

Dear op, for you to have dated her for quite some time, there must be something good about her that you like. There's absolutely no perfect Lady out there.
If you think she'll give you peace of mind, nothing should stop you from marrying her. Nothing passes peace of mind bro. Individual differences shouldn't birth a general conclusion of a particular set of people; that would be fallacy of hasty generalization.
Don't neglect paternity test too once the child(ren) are birthed for certainty.
You'd be surprised the kinda woman she'll grow into.
Shalom!!!

sirdouglas:
Now before you judge me, I beg you to hear my side of the story.
I said my side of the story cos if she is here, she may not agree with everything I have to say.
This is a lengthy one but I will try to make it as short as possible.
I it is important to note that I am not writing this to be judged or ridiculed. I want matured and reasonable people to help out.

I met this girl in 2017. Can't really remember the month but it should be getting to 2years now. We started dating. As at the time I met her I wasn't struggling, I have my own business and apartment so I wouldn't say she met me when I had nothing. I was a big boy then if I can use that word.
She was just 19 or so then. I am this kind of guy that really really take relationship serious and always looking out to see if things can work out. I don't spend on her, I don't do much for her then. I wanted to see the kind of person she is. She doesn't care or even ask of anything. She might ask for something once in a while but I will pretend I didn't hearw her and to my amazement, she will never talk about it again.
With time I started noticing something about her that I don't like. First is she is really not smart and educated. I noticed that she doesn't have her own say. She listens to gossip and always bore me with what this person said or that person. I really hate that shit.
She is a mama's girl too. Sometimes I wonder if she gives her mom details of our sex life.
She won't sweep the house or do anything for me even while the relationship progressed. I started taking care of her and helping out with her needs. I constantly keep wondering if I can settle down with her but I am always stuck with that question.

I ended the relationship when it was clear to me that I can't live with her. I am an ambitious young man and I am not there yet. I want a woman who will be more than a sex mate. I want someone who can confidently handle my business and manage my home when I am not there. She is to naive to my liking. I am tired trying to build her into the kind of woman I want.

There is only one main reason why I wasn't really hard on her. She was one girl who accepted me from her heart and I know it and I respected that too. I suck when it comes to women and I respect women a lot. You know what they say about guys that respect women. They are mostly single �
She came back few months later. She wasn't ready to let go. Being that I am a loner. My defence wasn't strong enough. We started dating. I got hold of myself and ask her to go again because I couldn't see a future with her and I can't bring myself to be wasting her time.

She wanted to stay, I told her in plain words that I don't want to marry her and that's why I am setting her free.

She left and came back the third time. We had sex and all that but this time I was determined to let her go. I went to a lab for a test with to make sure I didn't infect her with anything because I treated staph before I met her and I was afraid it may still be there or something. To my utmost surprise, she was the one who infected me with gonorrhea. I treated mine and hers and ask her to go.

I noticed that she haven't seen her period and asked her and she confirmed it. She left and came back few weeks later that she is pregnant. She insisted that she wanted to have an abortion but I wasn't interested. I told her to keep the child. Besides, she has been the one telling me that my sperm us not working. I laughed over it. I became afraid that she will try something stupid so I took her to a pharmacist friend of mine to discourage her.

Her mother got to know and ask her to call me. I went with a friend and told her mother everything. I started suspecting that the child might not be mine because I treated her of an infection she possibly contacted from another person. In fact, I was shocked when she confessed about the infection. She said it is the toilet they use at home but I never believed her.

I told her mother that I am not sure about the paternity but however, I will take care of her. I told her family that I don't want to marry her and I have told her that severely.

We had a long discussion that day and I left. I started taking care if her the more. I made sure that I made my stand clear on the matter. I don't want to be a murderer so I got to do what is necessary. She started complaining about abuse from her siblings and war started. They beat her almost all the time and I wanted to take it personal. Shit do happen at times but that is not enough reason to kill their sister.

When all this is happening, I was processing my papers. In fact, I started processing my papers before she got pregnant and she is full aware of that. I took another group of friends to their home to help beg the brothers to stop beating her so they don't kill her and the child.

My visa took time so she was almost due for delivery before I left. I sent money to her account and bought some things I felt she would need even the unnecessary ones and left.

My problem now is that she contacted me few days ago to tell me that the scan said she is having twins now not a boy. I can't explain in details because I don't know but the bottom line is that she is now having a twins. I feel for her like I always do.

I don't want to marry out of pity. I don't want to live a promiscuous life. I don't want to marry this girl honestly and having a twins for me just complicated the matter the more.

She said the doctor said she will be delivering this month. I am thinking of sending my uncle and younger brother to her family house to do the iku aka or whatever that is called so I can lay claims to my kids.

Her family is so messed up that I will never want to do anything with them on a normal day. They are from onitsha in anambra and I swore never to marry from that state. That's one of the reason I kept chasing her away. When I say messed up, I am really not that good with English to find the right word to define how disorganized it is.

I am feeling like a monster already. I need all the help that I can get. I never expected this to happen. I never wanted to complicate her life but here I am in the middle of all this.

Should I marry her out of pity and save her the embarrassment or give her money and make sure she comfortable and go ahead with my life. Honestly I don't know what to do.

Marriage is not a must
If the girl isn't fit for you to marry and she will be a stumbling block to your future plans,Discard am.
Just make sure you send financial support when you have it.

Look at Davido,Wizkid and other celebs,they are not married but are progressing well

Don't ever marry out of pity.


DON'T FORGET THE DNA TEST AFTER SHE HAS BEEN PUT TO BED,
CUS THESE HOES AIN'T LOYAL..

sirdouglas:
You have not answered my question bro. The girl you impregnated at 14 how far?? I hope you married her then and did all the marriage rites??

Coz If you didn't and you are here taking it personal for God's knows why, maybe out of regret or frustration I don't know but take it elsewhere. I am really more you or will ever imagine. I am old enough to take my decision and nothing will happen. If you have any wisdom in you, you ought to know that this is here today because I have no intention of hurting anybody.

I know that frustration is in that country so I wouldn't blame some of you you for the excessive aggression and unnecessary outburst.

For the castrated fool that is calling me an idiot. I am not offneded cos I am dead sure fear no go let am near me in person not to talk call me an idiot so is nothing. Words are cheap and free. If you leave this comment section it will be your shame.

Mumu...

You travel yesterday don dey feel like Rambo...idiot.

You know when I travel comot for Nigeria? I sure say you still dey carry cattarh for nose with your tear tear pant dey play for sand.

I knew it had been all about this...to let us know you have traveled out of Nigeria and as such those still remaining including the innocent girl and your unborn child have become idiots...abi?

You'll get your works worth trust me.

I know your type...

Your type dey fear babes wey tear eye..na mgekes wey you fit manipulate you dey carry.

Nonsense

If she is not fit for you to marry, she should not be fit for you to sleep with. Now you have complicated her life and you want to run.

Where do you want her to start from with two children? You probably don't like the idea of marrying a single mother. And you have put her in that status. She has that single mother "Nigerian curse" hanging over her head.

Her family is bad. If she is with you in whatever country, the influence from her mum should be limited and as she grows, she will get wiser. When you decided to date a 19 year old, you should have known it has down sides too.

She could be the way she is...naive and all because of her age. Though there are many smart ladies her age but she is different. You could help develop on that.

You didn't try. You point fingers and say she's not smart. Meanwhile you kept sleeping with her without protection even as you say you don't love her and didn't intend to marry her.

What does that say about you too?

sirdouglas:
That's exactly what I am talking about. How do you propose that I do this so she can enjoy her life to the fullest and don't feel useless or used apart from marriage. If she gives birth to one, I no go reason am but two..... Meen that sh*t means something.

Pay child support so long as you're certain the children are yours. If they aren't, you can assist her still for contributing to her stupidityyyy. You were the adult in the relationship, you should have been more responsible. Anyways, money will help relieve her stress.

DONT MARRY HER!
MUST YOU MARRY WHO HAS A CHILD OF YOURS ?
MUST YOU DO AS OTHER PEOPLE HAVE DONE?
NA MAN U BE. STOP DOING LIKE ONE 100LEVEL STUDENT

daddytime:
Mumu...

You travel yesterday don dey feel like Rambo...idiot.

You know when I travel comot for Nigeria? I sure say you still dey carry cattarh for nose with your tear tear pant dey play for sand.

I knew it had been all about this...to let us know you have traveled out of Nigeria and as such those still remaining including the innocent girl and your unborn child have become idiots...abi?

You'll get your works worth trust me.

I know your type...

Your type dey fear babes wey tear eye..na mgekes wey you fit manipulate you dey carry.

Nonsense

Oga is not how far but how well. Now I have seen you arenothing but a kid in adult skin.

What happened to the ten year old baby you impregnated you pervert??

daddytime:
Judging from your narrative, it is safe to say the young girl is a 'beauty without brains' whatever that means, and I'm sure her beauty was what got you hooked before you tasted the pie and subsequently realized she wasn't so smart.

Bro, I'm going to be straight up with you like I always do man...Selfish and self-centered is what you are (in bold).

You never hear say meat wey person no dey chop say him no suppose use teeth share am?

Oh because she was pretty, undemanding and mgbekeish, you decided to hold on to her, leading her on, and only started being honest to her about your plans when you had started making your travel plans and thus realized she'd be too local for your new status?

My bro, if that girl were my sister, and you had the effrontery to come to my house to spill what you just did here, you wouldn't have been able to use that visa of yours, and I'd have personally aborted the pregnancy with my bare hands. What insult.

If she's not good enough for you to wife, she shouldn't have been good enough for you to dickk and of course mother your baby(s).

This is even worse than a baby mama thingy, this is a baby factory one.

All the story about you making it clear to her that you won't be marrying her are just some cunning silly afterthoughts of a chronic user who had a game plan from the get-go.

There's something I'll tell you now if you like take am if you no like leave am.

I just hope and pray you won't come back looking for and begging this lady in the future and by what time it'd have been late already because you'd pay for your bid to selfishly destroy this young girl's life and dump her. For whom I ask after one o'clock?

Look around you and you'd find examples of cases like this where the man would come begging after years when his recompense would have been served steamy hot.

You no see GEJ and PEJ? How you see dem upon say PEJ dey break bottle with English?

You had better retraced your step, my friend, learn to love that babe, marry her and start a family with her or else you go regret am o.

Forget all these your later later excuses abeg

Words of wisdom

damtan:
Dear op, for you to have dated her for quite some time, there must be something good about her that you like. There's absolutely no perfect Lady out there.
If you think she'll give you peace of mind, nothing should stop you from marrying her. Nothing passes peace of mind bro. Individual differences shouldn't birth a general conclusion of a particular set of people; that would be fallacy of hasty generalization.
Don't neglect paternity test too once the child(ren) are birthed for certainty.
You'd be surprised the kinda woman she'll grow into.
Shalom!!!

Of course there is. And I stated some and also gave reason why I don't think it's best for me to marry her.

sirdouglas:
Bro, my experience with anambra women is personal and it's cost the life of someone dear to me. If I should tell you the whole story, you wouldn't be saying all this.

I NEVER ABANDONED HER. IT HAS NOT BEEN 3 MONTHS I LEFT OGA AND I HAVE BEEN COMMINICATING WITH HER. HOW ELSE DO YOU WANT ME TO HANDLE THIS?? SHOULD I START BABYSITTING HER?? OR STOP BUILDING A FUTURE SO I CAN HELP HER AND THE KIDS??

AM I NOT TRYING? WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE THIS MEAN AND INCONSIDERATE?? AM I NOT HUMAN ?

I'm a sister sir. I'm sorry for not being sensitive to your plight since I don't know your experience but I hope you forgive the state.
I didn't say you aren't trying. Take it easy but do the right thing you would do to yourself. Be emphatic. If you read my post well you'll realise that I was considerate with my words.
All the best in your endeavours. I pray that God gives you wisdom to make the right decisions.

sisisioge:
Pay child support so long as you're certain the children are yours. If they aren't, you can assist her still for contributing to her stupidityyyy. You were the adult in the relationship, you should have been more responsible. Anyways, money will help relieve her stress.

You mean I should keep paying child support if the child is not mine??

After all I have spent already and the abuse I have passed through? It's better be a joke.

Just imagine the kind of nonsense that is coming out of some worthless fools here to imagine the feeling when it was all over the place that I impregnated a girl. It can't be for nothing or hell will let loose. That's more or less character assassination. I don't want to talk about the emotional trauma.

sirdouglas:
In as much as you are trying to be mean. I understand your point. For the record, I am not a boy. I will appreciate if you address me with more respect.

Marrying her will not be such a bad idea but we may not enjoy the marriage. Especially her. She has said it over time that she knows that I don't love her. In as much as that is not entirely true, it is not far from it. She doesn't fit my profile for a wife and that is why I have been trying to end the relationship.

If this is coming from a woman I will understand but coming from a guy makes me want to ask you how old you are. Sorry but that's so insensitive of you and immature.

I never meant ill for her and I have been as reasonable and honest I can be with the situation. Judging me won't solve the problem.
What about a girl that a guy rejected for good three times and told her that he doesn't like her for marriage and she is still insisting and keep coming back? It's a two way thingb ro and I am expecting you to be more reasonable with your replies.

"She doesn't fit my profile for a wife and that is why I have been trying to end the relationship. "
But she fits your profile for girlfriend/babymama. Receive sense

ImaIma1:
If she is not fit for you to marry, she should not be fit for you to sleep with. Now you have complicated her life and you want to run.

Where do you want her to start from with two children? You probably don't like the idea of marrying a single mother. And you have put her in that status. She has that single mother "Nigerian curse" hanging over her head.

Her family is bad. If she is with you in whatever country, the influence from her mum should be limited and as she grows, she will get wiser. When you decided to date a 19 year old, you should have known it has down sides too.

She could be the way she is...naive and all because of her age. Though there are many smart ladies her age but she is different. You could help develop on that.

You didn't try. You point fingers and say she's not smart. Meanwhile you kept sleeping with her without protection even as you say you don't love her and didn't intend to marry her.

What does that say about you too?

What's you point now??

I don't think you're reasonable enough to even be in a relationship

How did u expect a 19 yr old to behave ....when I was 19 I behave so childish.... I talk a lot ...but now am now getting matured as the Day passes by
.
U see that girl lacks exposure,,,, just like me the moment I entered sch... My eyes just tear open like their....u won't believe it
No woman is perfect... U can marry an educated woman today and she won't give u Peace of mind...my brother marriage is not a joke.....coach her! Educate her! ..send her back to school shey u get money ...u will be amazed....talking out of experience....
But wait how do u expect a teenager to behave ...like how?
U get mind shaa....for crying out loud she's not yet an adult.....I doubt if she has entered higher institution...

U want a Behind lady? ....get lady for Behind problems

sirdouglas:
Now before you judge me, I beg you to hear my side of the story.
I said my side of the story cos if she is here, she may not agree with everything I have to say.
This is a lengthy one but I will try to make it as short as possible.
I it is important to note that I am not writing this to be judged or ridiculed. I want matured and reasonable people to help out.

I met this girl in 2017. Can't really remember the month but it should be getting to 2years now. We started dating. As at the time I met her I wasn't struggling, I have my own business and apartment so I wouldn't say she met me when I had nothing. I was a big boy then if I can use that word.
She was just 19 or so then. I am this kind of guy that really really take relationship serious and always looking out to see if things can work out. I don't spend on her, I don't do much for her then. I wanted to see the kind of person she is. She doesn't care or even ask of anything. She might ask for something once in a while but I will pretend I didn't hearw her and to my amazement, she will never talk about it again.
With time I started noticing something about her that I don't like. First is she is really not smart and educated. I noticed that she doesn't have her own say. She listens to gossip and always bore me with what this person said or that person. I really hate that shit.
She is a mama's girl too. Sometimes I wonder if she gives her mom details of our sex life.
She won't sweep the house or do anything for me even while the relationship progressed. I started taking care of her and helping out with her needs. I constantly keep wondering if I can settle down with her but I am always stuck with that question.

I ended the relationship when it was clear to me that I can't live with her. I am an ambitious young man and I am not there yet. I want a woman who will be more than a sex mate. I want someone who can confidently handle my business and manage my home when I am not there. She is to naive to my liking. I am tired trying to build her into the kind of woman I want.

There is only one main reason why I wasn't really hard on her. She was one girl who accepted me from her heart and I know it and I respected that too. I suck when it comes to women and I respect women a lot. You know what they say about guys that respect women. They are mostly single �
She came back few months later. She wasn't ready to let go. Being that I am a loner. My defence wasn't strong enough. We started dating. I got hold of myself and ask her to go again because I couldn't see a future with her and I can't bring myself to be wasting her time.

She wanted to stay, I told her in plain words that I don't want to marry her and that's why I am setting her free.

She left and came back the third time. We had sex and all that but this time I was determined to let her go. I went to a lab for a test with to make sure I didn't infect her with anything because I treated staph before I met her and I was afraid it may still be there or something. To my utmost surprise, she was the one who infected me with gonorrhea. I treated mine and hers and ask her to go.

I noticed that she haven't seen her period and asked her and she confirmed it. She left and came back few weeks later that she is pregnant. She insisted that she wanted to have an abortion but I wasn't interested. I told her to keep the child. Besides, she has been the one telling me that my sperm us not working. I laughed over it. I became afraid that she will try something stupid so I took her to a pharmacist friend of mine to discourage her.

Her mother got to know and ask her to call me. I went with a friend and told her mother everything. I started suspecting that the child might not be mine because I treated her of an infection she possibly contacted from another person. In fact, I was shocked when she confessed about the infection. She said it is the toilet they use at home but I never believed her.

I told her mother that I am not sure about the paternity but however, I will take care of her. I told her family that I don't want to marry her and I have told her that severely.

We had a long discussion that day and I left. I started taking care if her the more. I made sure that I made my stand clear on the matter. I don't want to be a murderer so I got to do what is necessary. She started complaining about abuse from her siblings and war started. They beat her almost all the time and I wanted to take it personal. Shit do happen at times but that is not enough reason to kill their sister.

When all this is happening, I was processing my papers. In fact, I started processing my papers before she got pregnant and she is full aware of that. I took another group of friends to their home to help beg the brothers to stop beating her so they don't kill her and the child.

My visa took time so she was almost due for delivery before I left. I sent money to her account and bought some things I felt she would need even the unnecessary ones and left.

My problem now is that she contacted me few days ago to tell me that the scan said she is having twins now not a boy. I can't explain in details because I don't know but the bottom line is that she is now having a twins. I feel for her like I always do.

I don't want to marry out of pity. I don't want to live a promiscuous life. I don't want to marry this girl honestly and having a twins for me just complicated the matter the more.

She said the doctor said she will be delivering this month. I am thinking of sending my uncle and younger brother to her family house to do the iku aka or whatever that is called so I can lay claims to my kids.

Her family is so messed up that I will never want to do anything with them on a normal day. They are from onitsha in anambra and I swore never to marry from that state. That's one of the reason I kept chasing her away. When I say messed up, I am really not that good with English to find the right word to define how disorganized it is.

I am feeling like a monster already. I need all the help that I can get. I never expected this to happen. I never wanted to complicate her life but here I am in the middle of all this.

Should I marry her out of pity and save her the embarrassment or give her money and make sure she comfortable and go ahead with my life. Honestly I don't know what to do.

..I kind of pity this gal....cos in few years time to come ...she will regret ever meeting u
By then she must av discovered what u av done to her trmw
U think na only u get future abi.....
I bet as time goes she won't even see any reason to be with u
I pray she doesn't poison the hearts of ur kids
Op u know wat twins Are genetic..... Possibility that they Are u kids are high

Don't mention me..plsss
Is like u get first class in twisting ppls advice to insults abeg.I no get tym for ranting here

Phenomenal16:
How did u expect a 19 yr old to behave ....when I was 19 I behave so childish.... I talk a lot ...but now am now getting matured as the Day passes by
.
U see that girl lacks exposure,,,, just like me the moment I entered sch... My eyes just tear open like their....u won't believe it
No woman is perfect... U can marry an educated woman today and she won't give u Peace of mind...my brother marriage is not a joke.....coach her! Educate her! ..send her back to school shey u get money ...u will be amazed....talking out of experience....
But wait how do u expect a teenager to behave ...like how?
U get mind shaa....for crying out loud she's not yet an adult.....I doubt if she has entered higher institution...

U want a Behind lady? ....get lady for Behind problems

Thank you, spoke my mind

sirdouglas:
Oga is not how far but how well. Now I have seen you arenothing but a kid in adult skin.

What happened to the ten year old baby you impregnated you pervert??

Bursting your bubble niccur...

You need a lot to impress papas like us who abound here...

Stupid boy.

You'll get on front page to understand how far.

Ewu

Phenomenal16:
Don't mention me..plsss
Is like u get first class in twisting ppls advice to insults abeg.I no get tym for ranting here

You don't want to be mention yet you commented knowing fully well that I reply both to insult and advice.
You are funny. Really funny.

Now read through your comment and tell what you said a person in my shoe should do??

You said nothing but insult me but afraid to be mentioned. That's guilty conscience dear.

I don't have anything to say to you anyway. The decision is mine at the end of the day and whatever comes out of it is mine to bear.

sirdouglas:
Now before you judge me, I beg you to hear my side of the story.
I said my side of the story cos if she is here, she may not agree with everything I have to say.
This is a lengthy one but I will try to make it as short as possible.
I it is important to note that I am not writing this to be judged or ridiculed. I want matured and reasonable people to help out.

I met this girl in 2017. Can't really remember the month but it should be getting to 2years now. We started dating. As at the time I met her I wasn't struggling, I have my own business and apartment so I wouldn't say she met me when I had nothing. I was a big boy then if I can use that word.
She was just 19 or so then. I am this kind of guy that really really take relationship serious and always looking out to see if things can work out. I don't spend on her, I don't do much for her then. I wanted to see the kind of person she is. She doesn't care or even ask of anything. She might ask for something once in a while but I will pretend I didn't hearw her and to my amazement, she will never talk about it again.
With time I started noticing something about her that I don't like. First is she is really not smart and educated. I noticed that she doesn't have her own say. She listens to gossip and always bore me with what this person said or that person. I really hate that shit.
She is a mama's girl too. Sometimes I wonder if she gives her mom details of our sex life.
She won't sweep the house or do anything for me even while the relationship progressed. I started taking care of her and helping out with her needs. I constantly keep wondering if I can settle down with her but I am always stuck with that question.

I ended the relationship when it was clear to me that I can't live with her. I am an ambitious young man and I am not there yet. I want a woman who will be more than a sex mate. I want someone who can confidently handle my business and manage my home when I am not there. She is to naive to my liking. I am tired trying to build her into the kind of woman I want.

There is only one main reason why I wasn't really hard on her. She was one girl who accepted me from her heart and I know it and I respected that too. I suck when it comes to women and I respect women a lot. You know what they say about guys that respect women. They are mostly single �
She came back few months later. She wasn't ready to let go. Being that I am a loner. My defence wasn't strong enough. We started dating. I got hold of myself and ask her to go again because I couldn't see a future with her and I can't bring myself to be wasting her time.

She wanted to stay, I told her in plain words that I don't want to marry her and that's why I am setting her free.

She left and came back the third time. We had sex and all that but this time I was determined to let her go. I went to a lab for a test with to make sure I didn't infect her with anything because I treated staph before I met her and I was afraid it may still be there or something. To my utmost surprise, she was the one who infected me with gonorrhea. I treated mine and hers and ask her to go.

I noticed that she haven't seen her period and asked her and she confirmed it. She left and came back few weeks later that she is pregnant. She insisted that she wanted to have an abortion but I wasn't interested. I told her to keep the child. Besides, she has been the one telling me that my sperm us not working. I laughed over it. I became afraid that she will try something stupid so I took her to a pharmacist friend of mine to discourage her.

Her mother got to know and ask her to call me. I went with a friend and told her mother everything. I started suspecting that the child might not be mine because I treated her of an infection she possibly contacted from another person. In fact, I was shocked when she confessed about the infection. She said it is the toilet they use at home but I never believed her.

I told her mother that I am not sure about the paternity but however, I will take care of her. I told her family that I don't want to marry her and I have told her that severely.

We had a long discussion that day and I left. I started taking care if her the more. I made sure that I made my stand clear on the matter. I don't want to be a murderer so I got to do what is necessary. She started complaining about abuse from her siblings and war started. They beat her almost all the time and I wanted to take it personal. Shit do happen at times but that is not enough reason to kill their sister.

When all this is happening, I was processing my papers. In fact, I started processing my papers before she got pregnant and she is full aware of that. I took another group of friends to their home to help beg the brothers to stop beating her so they don't kill her and the child.

My visa took time so she was almost due for delivery before I left. I sent money to her account and bought some things I felt she would need even the unnecessary ones and left.

My problem now is that she contacted me few days ago to tell me that the scan said she is having twins now not a boy. I can't explain in details because I don't know but the bottom line is that she is now having a twins. I feel for her like I always do.

I don't want to marry out of pity. I don't want to live a promiscuous life. I don't want to marry this girl honestly and having a twins for me just complicated the matter the more.

She said the doctor said she will be delivering this month. I am thinking of sending my uncle and younger brother to her family house to do the iku aka or whatever that is called so I can lay claims to my kids.

Her family is so messed up that I will never want to do anything with them on a normal day. They are from onitsha in anambra and I swore never to marry from that state. That's one of the reason I kept chasing her away. When I say messed up, I am really not that good with English to find the right word to define how disorganized it is.

I am feeling like a monster already. I need all the help that I can get. I never expected this to happen. I never wanted to complicate her life but here I am in the middle of all this.

Should I marry her out of pity and save her the embarrassment or give her money and make sure she comfortable and go ahead with my life. Honestly I don't know what to do.

Before I even say anything, its amazing to see someone in this times and age, (a guy for that matter), with a strong conscience, sincerity and noble intentions. You really are the real MVP .

Now straight to the matter

1. Forget abt marriage. If you tow that line,it will transform you to a monster. You know why? the reaction of a sincere conscience would haunt you and make you take it out on her. You would loath her, you, and even the baby because you aren't sure its yours.

2. Don't try number 1, again I warn you.

Solution ?
1. When the baby is out , do a DNA test. That's the first thing first. Because in as much as you don't believe its yours, IT COULD STILL BE YOURS. ITS A 50-50. No one knows for sure yet.

2. If its yours, Set her up in a business if you can. Rent an accomdation too her them. Pregnancy doesn't mandate marriage ok?. Mandate her to save constantly because you won't always be available to dish out money that will set her on her toes. From time to time, check them out, get gifts ,ensure you stay in important times in the children's life. Bdays, first days at school etc.get photos and videos as evidences and proof (that's another story I don't want to get to). Pay kids bills or needs. Not necessary hers. You can pay directly into their school account etc. But ensure the mom pays some aspect. Don't foot all, I repeat don't foot all.

3. Set up an account where you pay in something no matter how small for them.
At an age you deem them matured, roll it over to them. In essence keep the kids in your life.


Now, if the kids aren't yours after testing,
1. Laugh out loud
2. Come and inform me here, quote this message and I promise to laugh on your behalf too.it's a promise

3. Give her some funds to set up a biz (optional, you're not mandatated too, but for Gods sake, and mercy for the kids. Cos in that house, they will kill her)

4. Rent a small apartment, even if its one room (optional as before)

5. Be careful.
6. Be careful.
7. Be careful again.

God help and bless you. Amen

Bro, I won't insult you. But what you're doing to that girl is very wicked and inhuman. Before you enter any relationship, I repeat, look very well and observe the lady first! Take her out, spend sometime talking to her, while she's talking observe how she speaks, her sense of reasoning, ask her intelligent questions, I didn't say you should conduct an interview but be reasonable. You're doing this to cause you need to know if this person is good enough for you.

You turned that kid to a sex mate, because she's inexperienced, young and vulnerable! Now you get her pregnant and forming you don't want to marry out of pitty, who are you leaving her for! You dey Yankee now, so the naija hustling guys can marry the girl you wrecked her pvssy while you chop thight oyibo there?

Guy you're very insensitive and selfish and very proud! Go and claim your property, if you want her to speak well invest in her education. She sounds like a homely girl that can do anything to please you, she can learn to be the best of herself but only if you give her a chance.