₦airaland Forum

liberalchick:
Well, for your one anecdote, I can raise you five of mine. I also have my own stories of fathers badmouthing their wives in front of their kids. No gender has a corner on parent alienation. The lesson here is adults should keep their drama themselves and leave the kids out of it.

Elliot2:
See how a well articulated topic has been spoilt by idiots who should be in the caves. This is one topic that would have had meaningful engagement if it were on quora.
Well,the truth is that a good number of mothers are not altruistic in their show of love toward their children. Like every other things women easily create competition even when uncalled for,they are in a competition for the child's attention; one which they get and perpetually use. This becomes especially pronounced if their is a friction between the woman and the man. It is as if they book-keep every act of kindness towards the child; they highlight those deeds,trying to reinforce your memory. You remember their acts of kindness more than you do for your dad's. In fact, most mothers' love is a weapon they consciously build and nurture.

Elliot2:
Why are you people like this na? You have the liberty to create your own thread about dads who are really deadbeats. just leave this for those who can relate.

Martinez19:
I never asked you to agree with me. Whether or not you choose to agree is not my business. I know what I wrote because I am smart, observant and exposed. If you still insist that what is in my op does not happen in real life or I must have had a first hand experience, that's your problem.

marvelous000:
Just look at how all these feather-brains have conflagrated this sensible thread with vacuous inanity, in bide to score cheap gender point.
looking at them and their man-bitch accomplice, one begin to ruminate on their anthropology, because it's unequivocally overt that they're from the end of the gene cesspool, from the lowest low of subhuman specie of australopithecus africanus.


because, one can not even thoerise on their sybaritic idiocy. their idiosyncracy bears the hallmark of a white imbécile blindly in love with foolishness.


spit.

marvelous000:
And that will translate to money in my bank account.
Ok, how about we play a game of "go and fvck yourself."

Martinez39:
Due to the fact that fathers instill harsh discipline and are usually away working to feed the family, children are usually close to their mothers. Mothers usually spoil and pamper their children hence another reason children are close to their mothers. One advantage of this is that the mothers have a huge influence on the minds of the children. During parental dispute and irrespective of whether the wife is at fault or not, women are usually fond of brainwashing and poisoning the minds of their children against their fathers. Even if there is no dispute, some women still control the minds of their kids in order to get the upper hand in the childish game of power they started and are playing in the home.

Most men usually settle matters amicably and are willing to own their mistakes but women, whether or not they are wrong, will always want to "win" the dispute and would go any length to achieve such. Brainwashing and poisoning the minds of the kids against the father is one of the ways of achieving such. In such brainwashing, the children see the father as the bad person while the mum is the angel. Some children later grow up to see that it was the other way around while some never grow out of the brainwashing for many years. As the woman is brainwashing the kids, she keeps the kids distant from the father so that she can successfully fuel the narrative that father is a bad and was never there. She wouldn't even let the father visit instead she always give one excuse or the other or even avoid the father. The woman would even make sure that the contacts of the children are not available to the father. The woman might even put the children in a situation whereby either they are for her or for the father. You can't blame the children for falling for the lies because the mother has appeared so nice and caring to them.

Some mothers would be communicating to the fathers behind the children's back looking for up keeps yet they won't tell the children. They will exploit the kind hearted nature of the father to get money from him by making up stories that children are sick blah blah blah. They will then make it out to be that they are the ones making the money while the father doesn't care. Sometimes when the father wants to see his children, they will charge the fathers money in one form or the other. If they fulfill their promise of let the kids see the children, which many don't, the visit would be short. Afterall, she still let the father see his children, right? She might even post the visit with the pics on her social media so that everyone can see that "she let the kids visit and spend quality time with their papa".

If you are the child of a deadbeat dad who thinks father is evil and mom is good, you have to start asking questions. Here are some of the questions you should ask :
1) Do I believe my father is horrible because I really know him or it's what my mother told me? Have I heard both sides of the story?
2) Does my mother allow free and open access for me to communicate and build a relationship with my father? Is she always monitoring my conversations with my father and asking what we discussed?
3) Has my father been providing money but my mum doesn't tell me?
4) Does my father have my contact number or did my mum make it that my father can only communicate with me through her phone so that she can monitor and regulate the conversation? She could do so to fuel the narrative that mum is good and dad is bad.
5) Nairalanders can make their suggestions.

By asking these questions and making analysis, you would figure out if mum has skeletons in her cupboard or not. It's also possible that your dad could be the one at fault. Check things for yourself. There are good and bad fathers and there are good and bad mothers. Women who do these things are wicked and can't be said to really care about the children. Why are such women reducing their children to properties/pawn to help them get the upper hand in a parental dispute or childish game of power dynamics for their own selfish reasons? Why make their children live a lie that could stay with them forever for their own selfish reasons? This is immoral. Why deprive their children of fatherly love for their own selfish reasons? Why can't they leave their children out of their dispute with their father? Why can't these women have the maturity to admit to their wrongs? Some women even publicly smear the father's reputation with lies to fuel the narrative that mum is good, dad is bad. The worse is when some of the crazies among them murder or maltreat their children to get back at the father.

NLmember:
Why do these bitter woman hating mods keep putting posts like this on front page? Instead of asking parents to put their utmost best in raising children the bitter and frustrated fellow started a topic he concocted from his deranged mind to blame women for the actions of irresponsible fathers.

Father's are deadbeat so blame the mother's for poisoning the childs mind and keeping the said child from their dad. What is stopping the father from being actively present in the child's life and showing them enough love and support to dispel any form of brainwashing from the mom about him being deadbeat?

A determined and caring father will never allow anything keep him from his kids, what these useless men do is that they abandon their kids thinking the responsibility of rising kids is on women and then in old age when they start experiencing loneliness the fools start throwing be to the wives and mothers claiming that they brainwashed the children into hating them.

I m not surprised, majority of young men these days are just frustrated from poverty and filled with bitterness and since they cannot lash out t each other they turn to women to transfer agression. If only you fools can use the same energy in tracking your worthless leaders that keep you poor and frustrated.

I don't blame the mod that keeps putting topics like this on front page.

CAPSLOCKED:
IS IT SUCH A BAD THING FOR MOTHERS TO BE SEEN WRONGLY? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY FATHERS HAVE BEEN SEEN WRONGLY ALL OVER THE WORLD SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME?
THIS THREAD CALLS IN CHILDREN OF DEADBEATS.... BUT HERE YOU ALL ARE, ACTING AS IF MARTINEZ39 PERSONALLY INSULTS YOUR MOTHERS. WHY NOT READ AND WALK AWAY AND LET CONCERNED PEOPLE REASON TOGETHER.
YOUR MUM IS NOT LIKE THAT, YOUR MUM IS THIS AND THAT....
OGA, EXIT THE THREAD FOR PEOPLE THAT THEIR MUMS ARE LIKE THAT. THIS THREAD IS FOR THEM. TO HELP THEM THINK AND POSSIBLY RECONCILE WITH THEIR DADS IF SUCH SITUATIONS HAVE CAUSED DISPUTES.
YOU SAY YOU'RE WISE AND REASONABLE, BUT EVEN THE SIMPLEST THINGS MISSES YOUR COMPREHENSION. NA WA.

larryking540:
To all the single guys out there,to every married man, to every hustler base in 9ja and outside 9ja,
pls and pls, create time for ur kids, it's very important,

I always speak from experience, I was at the backyard of my house the other day, and I noticed that my next door neighbor just had a misunderstanding with the wife and after the man left the house, the wife sat outside the house doing some hand laundry, with 2 of the kids around her, u need to see the way d lady was saying some harsh words to the kids about their father, I wouldn't want to say it, cus it was just not worth hearing such from her, I just went back into my room and I sat on my couch and reason that if this man and woman continues to have such a misunderstanding and while the wife spends more of the time with d kids, trust me, the kids will channel so much hate for their father, even thinking that their mother is the bread winner of the house, not knowing is their father ,,


So pls my fellow men out there,
always create time for your kids, call them, if u are base outside the country, do a Skype call with them,
often, if u can call them every day by evening call them because na old age matters o,
for u men who are within the country, calls check up on them via calls or chat, a 1 minutes call will go a long way in their thinking about anyone has said or told them concerning u

Speaking from experience, that's is what saved my own father that we still use to respect him till date, even though my own mother backlash at hime at his back ,a day never passes by my father doesn't drop a call on my cell phone, infact he call me pass mtn,
and dat is what I have actually used to prove my mother wrong,

I hate people that pretend,

Martinez39:
Due to the fact that fathers instill harsh discipline and are usually away working to feed the family, children are usually close to their mothers. Mothers usually spoil and pamper their children hence another reason children are close to their mothers. One advantage of this is that the mothers have a huge influence on the minds of the children. During parental dispute and irrespective of whether the wife is at fault or not, women are usually fond of brainwashing and poisoning the minds of their children against their fathers. Even if there is no dispute, some women still control the minds of their kids in order to get the upper hand in the childish game of power they started and are playing in the home.

Most men usually settle matters amicably and are willing to own their mistakes but women, whether or not they are wrong, will always want to "win" the dispute and would go any length to achieve such. Brainwashing and poisoning the minds of the kids against the father is one of the ways of achieving such. In such brainwashing, the children see the father as the bad person while the mum is the angel. Some children later grow up to see that it was the other way around while some never grow out of the brainwashing for many years. As the woman is brainwashing the kids, she keeps the kids distant from the father so that she can successfully fuel the narrative that father is a bad and was never there. She wouldn't even let the father visit instead she always give one excuse or the other or even avoid the father. The woman would even make sure that the contacts of the children are not available to the father. The woman might even put the children in a situation whereby either they are for her or for the father. You can't blame the children for falling for the lies because the mother has appeared so nice and caring to them.

Some mothers would be communicating to the fathers behind the children's back looking for up keeps yet they won't tell the children. They will exploit the kind hearted nature of the father to get money from him by making up stories that children are sick blah blah blah. They will then make it out to be that they are the ones making the money while the father doesn't care. Sometimes when the father wants to see his children, they will charge the fathers money in one form or the other. If they fulfill their promise of let the kids see the children, which many don't, the visit would be short. Afterall, she still let the father see his children, right? She might even post the visit with the pics on her social media so that everyone can see that "she let the kids visit and spend quality time with their papa".

If you are the child of a deadbeat dad who thinks father is evil and mom is good, you have to start asking questions. Here are some of the questions you should ask :
1) Do I believe my father is horrible because I really know him or it's what my mother told me? Have I heard both sides of the story?
2) Does my mother allow free and open access for me to communicate and build a relationship with my father? Is she always monitoring my conversations with my father and asking what we discussed?
3) Has my father been providing money but my mum doesn't tell me?
4) Does my father have my contact number or did my mum make it that my father can only communicate with me through her phone so that she can monitor and regulate the conversation? She could do so to fuel the narrative that mum is good and dad is bad.
5) Nairalanders can make their suggestions.

By asking these questions and making analysis, you would figure out if mum has skeletons in her cupboard or not. It's also possible that your dad could be the one at fault. Check things for yourself. There are good and bad fathers and there are good and bad mothers. Women who do these things are wicked and can't be said to really care about the children. Why are such women reducing their children to properties/pawn to help them get the upper hand in a parental dispute or childish game of power dynamics for their own selfish reasons? Why make their children live a lie that could stay with them forever for their own selfish reasons? This is immoral. Why deprive their children of fatherly love for their own selfish reasons? Why can't they leave their children out of their dispute with their father? Why can't these women have the maturity to admit to their wrongs? Some women even publicly smear the father's reputation with lies to fuel the narrative that mum is good, dad is bad. The worse is when some of the crazies among them murder or maltreat their children to get back at the father.

izzou:
Some Mothers are manipulative and poison the minds of their kids against their fathers
Me: [b]Did your mum do this to you?
Him: Nooo... My mum is a real woman
[/b]

realtalk19:
How about violent men and men who is not responsible for the child's welfare and believes the mother shuld be the one to take up his responsibility while he squanders his money on irrrelivant things.

Will he be bold enough to to admit he wasn't responsible and couldn't take care of them like a father should?

Will he admit he was violent and irresponsible by always beating up the child's mother who eventually had to leave the marriage for the safety of hersslf and child?

liberalchick:
Well, for your one anecdote, I can raise you five of mine. I also have my own stories of fathers badmouthing their wives in front of their kids. No gender has a corner on parental alienation. The lesson here is adults should keep their drama to themselves and leave the kids out of it.

Regiomontanus:
Thanks for sharing. Many of the foolish girls here are just opposing the topic without reading properly. They are even acting as if what the op said doesn't happen in real life. Some know that Martinez39 is speaking the truth and they have resorted to shaming language.

Many of these girls are like the kind of mothers in the op and they plan to do like the kind of mothers in the op so they are getting defensive.

CAPSLOCKED:
SADLY, THAT'S HOW MOST PEOPLE WERE RAISED TO SEE THEIR PARENTS.

THAT'S WHY YOU'LL FIND 50 MOTHER'S DAY CELEBRATIONS IN A YEAR, WHILE YOU HAVE JUST 1 CHILDREN'S DAY AND 1 DAD'S DAY.

THEY GUILT TRIP YOUNG ONES WHO THEN GROW INTO MATURED MEN WITH THE "I CARRIED YOU FOR A DIFFICULT 9 MONTHS", AS IF WE OWE THEM FOR WHAT NATURE BESTOWED UPON THEM.
AS IF THEY'RE THE ONLY SPECIES THAT BEAR KIDS. I DON'T THINK ELEPHANTS AND OTHER MAMMALS NAG ABOUT THAT SUBJECT LIKE HUMAN MOTHERS. IF MEN COULD GIVE BIRTH, WE WOULD DO IT EVERY TIME AND GET OVER IT WITH A BOTTLE OF BEER, WITHOUT SEEING ANY BIG DEAL IN THE SIMPLE THINGS OF LIFE.

A GIRL WHO DOESN'T RESPECT ANYBODY FEELS SHE HAS TO BE RESPECTED BECAUSE SHE'S A WOMAN, A POTENTIAL MOTHER OF MEN.

AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE CROCODILE TEARS TO ENFORCE THEIR WEAK IDEAS AND PRETEND THEY'RE BEING FRUSTRATED.
MEAN WHILE IT IS THEIR SYSTEM OF MANIPULATING EVERY LIVING THING ON EARTH.

Elliot2:
See how a well articulated topic has been spoilt by idiots who should be in the caves. This is one topic that would have had meaningful engagement if it were on quora.
Well,the truth is that a good number of mothers are not altruistic in their show of love toward their children. Like every other things women easily create competition even when uncalled for,they are in a competition for the child's attention; one which they get and perpetually use. This becomes especially pronounced if their is a friction between the woman and the man. It is as if they book-keep every act of kindness towards the child; they highlight those deeds,trying to reinforce your memory. You remember their acts of kindness more than you do for your dad's. In fact, most mothers' love is a weapon they consciously build and nurture.

Martinez19:
Lol. Are you minding him? His low IQ is why I stopped replying him.

NLmember:
Why do these bitter woman hating mods keep putting posts like this on front page? Instead of asking parents to put their utmost best in raising children the bitter and frustrated fellow started a topic he concocted from his deranged mind to blame women for the actions of irresponsible fathers.

Father's are deadbeat so blame the mother's for poisoning the childs mind and keeping the said child from their dad. What is stopping the father from being actively present in the child's life and showing them enough love and support to dispel any form of brainwashing from the mom about him being deadbeat?

A determined and caring father will never allow anything keep him from his kids, what these useless men do is that they abandon their kids thinking the responsibility of rising kids is on women and then in old age when they start experiencing loneliness the fools start throwing be to the wives and mothers claiming that they brainwashed the children into hating them.

I m not surprised, majority of young men these days are just frustrated from poverty and filled with bitterness and since they cannot lash out t each other they turn to women to transfer agression. If only you fools can use the same energy in tracking your worthless leaders that keep you poor and frustrated.

I don't blame the mod that keeps putting topics like this on front page.

realtalk19:
How about violent men and men who is not responsible for the child's welfare and believes the mother shuld be the one to take up his responsibility while he squanders his money on irrrelivant things.

Will he be bold enough to to admit he wasn't responsible and couldn't take care of them like a father should?

Will he admit he was violent and irresponsible by always beating up the child's mother who eventually had to leave the marriage for the safety of hersslf and child?

NLmember:
Why do these bitter woman hating mods keep putting posts like this on front page? Instead of asking parents to put their utmost best in raising children the bitter and frustrated fellow started a topic he concocted from his deranged mind to blame women for the actions of irresponsible fathers.

Father's are deadbeat so blame the mother's for poisoning the childs mind and keeping the said child from their dad. What is stopping the father from being actively present in the child's life and showing them enough love and support to dispel any form of brainwashing from the mom about him being deadbeat?

A determined and caring father will never allow anything keep him from his kids, what these useless men do is that they abandon their kids thinking the responsibility of rising kids is on women and then in old age when they start experiencing loneliness the fools start throwing be to the wives and mothers claiming that they brainwashed the children into hating them.

I m not surprised, majority of young men these days are just frustrated from poverty and filled with bitterness and since they cannot lash out t each other they turn to women to transfer agression. If only you fools can use the same energy in tracking your worthless leaders that keep you poor and frustrated.

I don't blame the mod that keeps putting topics like this on front page.