Cutehector:
Naaah naaah naaah...


This is skin deeeeep. Bro you pierced sorrow into her heart. Even if I were the woman, i'm not sure i'd forget that in a lifetime.


Nobody can help you bro, it is finished. You killed the love and also made sure it was totally dead with such words

.
You are right bro. Such words are really difficult to forget cox they re deep. Show that u are remorseful everyday and pray to God to heal her pains if not, OP you haff finished work. Chai!

Things might take time to get back to normal but with time you will both be back, here are few things to do..since your sex life is still intact, while doing the do please tell her how sorry you are about the statements, wake up in the morning before work assist her with few things, help her with her things in the house when u are home, make sure all these things are done without u asking her if she wants u to help because she might insist u don't disturb yourself, u will be surprised that her heart will be healing gradually. Make sure u don't hurt during these period. I will give u more ideas later, just start with dis

Charles1888:
I had to create a new account for this

I don't know how to get through to my wife anymore, of which the fault is mine, when we were dating, she showed that she was committed to me and loved me wholeheartedly but I was reluctant to marry her cos she was of age, I wanted someone younger, say under 25, but something important that i have to acquire made me marry all of a sudden and she was the only one available, don't get me wrong, I loved her then, her peaceful and humble soul but for some reason I simply can't understand I felt she wasn't enough, but I was wrong, she was perfect, the best I can ever wish for and more, she is everything,

After we got married, you know newlyweds now, the quarrels about every little thing, it was much then, so this particular incident made me so worked up and angry I made a statement I shouldnt have said, during the heated argument I told her that she was never who I would have married, that she wasn't my specs, she was too old (31 lol) that if someone younger was available I wouldn't blink twice before I'll marry the person.

After saying all that, I wasn't sober about it, she held on to that statement, I knew she cried that night, since then we don't talk, play, gist anymore, we became distant, though I apologised the next morning but things isn't just the same anymore, communication isn't there, she only talks to me when she wants to ask or say necessary things, nothing more, though she still cooks, we still have sex, infact every other aspect is fine except for communication, anytime I come back from work and I'm in the sitting room, she doesn't stay there, she either goes to the room or dinning room, I have begged and begged and I don't want to involve third party cos I obviously caused this, when she got pregnant, she didn't tell me till I saw the strip, when I asked why she said she forgot, and we had plans to celebrate when she takes in, I was sad that day, I begged and asked to tell me anything she wants and I'll do it, I'll make it up to her,,she said she wants nothing that she is fine, I love her, she is my baby, we use to be gist buddies, I missed that and I want it back.

I don't know what to do anymore, it's my fault I know that and I'm sorry I ever said that cos it hurt her deeply, I told her to tell me more evil things so that we will be even, she said she can't that she loves me, we are drifting apart, I can feel it,

Pls help me folks, I came here becos I want anonymous advise, what else can I do to make the hurt go away?

Thank you Sirs, Ma, for the advices, suggestions, as well as solutions, and also the insults and castigations lol, I will definitely make use of most comments, you all have really helped, God bless you all, happy Sunday.

Charles1888:
I had to create a new account for this

I don't know how to get through to my wife anymore, of which the fault is mine, when we were dating, she showed that she was committed to me and loved me wholeheartedly but I was reluctant to marry her cos she was of age, I wanted someone younger, say under 25, but something important that i have to acquire made me marry all of a sudden and she was the only one available, don't get me wrong, I loved her then, her peaceful and humble soul but for some reason I simply can't understand I felt she wasn't enough, but I was wrong, she was perfect, the best I can ever wish for and more, she is everything,

After we got married, you know newlyweds now, the quarrels about every little thing, it was much then, so this particular incident made me so worked up and angry I made a statement I shouldnt have said, during the heated argument I told her that she was never who I would have married, that she wasn't my specs, she was too old (31 lol) that if someone younger was available I wouldn't blink twice before I'll marry the person.

After saying all that, I wasn't sober about it, she held on to that statement, I knew she cried that night, since then we don't talk, play, gist anymore, we became distant, though I apologised the next morning but things isn't just the same anymore, communication isn't there, she only talks to me when she wants to ask or say necessary things, nothing more, though she still cooks, we still have sex, infact every other aspect is fine except for communication, anytime I come back from work and I'm in the sitting room, she doesn't stay there, she either goes to the room or dinning room, I have begged and begged and I don't want to involve third party cos I obviously caused this, when she got pregnant, she didn't tell me till I saw the strip, when I asked why she said she forgot, and we had plans to celebrate when she takes in, I was sad that day, I begged and asked to tell me anything she wants and I'll do it, I'll make it up to her,,she said she wants nothing that she is fine, I love her, she is my baby, we use to be gist buddies, I missed that and I want it back.

I don't know what to do anymore, it's my fault I know that and I'm sorry I ever said that cos it hurt her deeply, I told her to tell me more evil things so that we will be even, she said she can't that she loves me, we are drifting apart, I can feel it,

Pls help me folks, I came here becos I want anonymous advise, what else can I do to make the hurt go away?

OP you have really done badly here I must say. OP, 99.9% of marriages are based on deceit, we humans are deceitful in nature but for you to say it out? You have killed her and put her on a defensive state. Yes you have begged and begged now that’s enough.
Don’t beg to a point where you lose yourself or be at her mercy, don’t beg to a point where you give her your power as a man. If you do that, you are a goner.

Take a stand, risk losing her and everything. Stop talking about the issue and act like it never happened. Adjust and never expect the kind of love she once showed you. You have said the reality of things and you can not undo it, you can only live with it. Man up and stop begging like a pauper.

You have two options:

1. Keep begging till she makes you useless and powerless (she probably knew why you married her before you even said that don’t be deceived. She is also torturing you deliberately as a tactic for a better marriage bargaining power)

2. man up and own up to what you said she will come around when she perceives you are less bothered (having pleaded for forgiveness)

What is done, is done

usernamepass:
Bla bla bla..
Op shut da Vuck UP and hold your mount pim..
You are simply not man enough to discuss marrage talkless of getting married.
Real men dont talk too much..
I bet your mouth will leak again and you will repeat the same okpata yaRn again..
You have succeeded in keeling the woman in your wife and now that shes gone..
Bear your cross and dont you ever... I repeat dont you ever come on here to disturb our peace again.
Abi SA Xenophobia never do??
SHOOO

You dey ashoooo na advise him need abeg it seems crus.

franchasng:
then write your will and also do your obituary poster in advance before u marry because our ladies of today can give u rat poison if u fuckup and nobody will know what killed you

is it not kuku better not to marry them

Fitz22:
Its funny how people jumb into what they truly dont understand.
You dont love her at all, your intention was to date her not to marry her.

When a guy keep making reference to a lady's age then something is wrong, there re guys who truly prefer older ladies but not you.

There re also ladies who prefer younger guys and its ok. Individual preference, nothing is wrong with it.

I dont have advice for you oo. You dont love her, thats all.

Obviously he doesn’t love her. Forget the begging.

What he has to do now is win her back for the sake of his marriage. He has unleashed a defensive mechanism in his wife, he’d be deceiving himself if he thinks she will ever forget.

Those words have made his wife weak, all he needs to do is hold on to that and build from there. But thinking he can undo it? That’s a fantasy

Charles1888:
Thank you Sirs, Ma, for the advices, suggestions, as well as solutions, and also the insults and castigations lol, I will definitely make use of most comments, you all have really helped, God bless you all, happy Sunday.

Go crazy in the bedroom and do to her what you haven't done before, take her to cloud nine and afterwards tell her not to take your rants to heart.Also tell her you would have been shattered with a more younger lady with this your sharp mouth silly habits,tell her you had those taughts but God brought her to you to help shapen your life and that you love her endlessly.Women are quick to forgive after a mind-blowing sex.Silly them

90% of marriages have had such a scenario..
She has forgiven you but she needs time to adjust..
You can approach a senior person you know she respect..
We are all human and sometimes we err in word or deed

Charles1888:
Thank you Sirs, Ma, for the advices, suggestions, as well as solutions, and also the insults and castigations lol, I will definitely make use of most comments, you all have really helped, God bless you all, happy Sunday.

U married a smart and intelligent woman... It is only such women that exhibits this typa traits. And I think she's prolly faithful too, other women will show u pepper, disregard u and cheat on u. Hell, she still regards u and love u that's why the wifey duties are still intact, but however to get ur love back, u need to take her back in time when you first met, how u do pet, care and treat her well, this time even more better. Get home before her sometimes to cook her favorite meal, tidy the place, let her wake up to some nice breakfast prepared by u. Take her on dates. Do these things with pure and honest intentions. She'll come around in the end. Cos even the hardest and most strong headed of women melted for this.

You've offended your wife because of your insensitivity and lack of experience. In marriage, it is not everything you see you talk about and not everything you heard you'll respond to. I have married for about 16 years now, there's ups and downs, you need to exercise patience. You'll need to be cautious and recite that words before you say it out so you won't be blame for it at the end of the day. I will implore you to keep apologizing to her daily (morning and night) till she finally forgets about it. I pray she changes soon. You may as well wake her at the middle of the night and be remorseful for what you have done, you may knee down to beg her to show you've truly repented.

May God bless your home.

Saintmary:

Interesting

Really

Op

Stop begging

It's lame

She'll eventually come around

Time heal all wounds

Charles1888

You simply told her the truth on how you felt, you don't love her. You only miss the communication. She has come to terms with it.

So manage the sex, food and little communication. At least no more unnecessary nagging.

Congrats on graduating from a marriage to a domestic partnership. That was really fast.

Idiot.

Even between siblings, there are fights and quarrels that makes them dread each other for life. You chose to open your dirty mouth to try that with your wife.

Now, she knows you will eventually cheat on her and treat her like trash very soon since you have pedophile tendencies. So she has prepared her mind on not being emotionally invested in you. That part is dead. If you died tomorrow, she will move on faster.

Read this slowly, nothing I mean absolutely nothing will change the mental state of your wife. Nothing! I should know because I am like her.

You may as well start screwing around and die early. May the likes of 23 year old tacha (from bbn) locate you. They are young and fresh but will give the top graded treatment you deserve.

Air head.

BetWinners:
Nigerian men have got to stop placing so much value on women.
@OP You told your wife the blunt truth.Women are waaay harsher with the truth when they direct it at men.Countless women have told their husbands the exact same thing you told your wife (their husbands not being their first choice) & the men moved on.
Tell your wife if she can't act right & put that poo behind her,then both of you should split cos you can't continue stepping on eggshells in your own house.
Simple stuff

if there are options A-Z.. YOUR might be Z but u can't tell it might be the only solution.

What you said to her was horrible to say the very least. But now that the damage has been done she simply has to forgive you, or does she intend to spend the rest of her life keeping aloof of you? Do not beg her again. Don't sympathise with her again because the more you do that the more you feed her ego and the more she shrinks away from you. The more you sympathise with her the more you remind her of your statement and the more she grieves and withdraws from you. Ignore her without making it seem like a revenge. Act busy when you are with her like your mind is on something else but provide all her needs still and make love to her but make it to her like you need her for sex only and nothing else -- in other words start acting aloof yourself. Believe me she will come out of her shell and cry into your arms.

Don't just tell her you love her, make her feel it. Show her you love her. Take her to a Trip and make her feel loved. What you want will gradually come out of her.
Spend some weekend outside your home with her. Treat her like a queen and you will see the best of her

Op,
My friend was in your shoe. It will take times but it will be OK. Write a letter and place it beside the bed. Pour your heart ♥ to her. Buy a special gift to accompany it.
Thank me later.

I must say my own the guy should think twice if truly he you have begged and you know it's real begging and she can't forgive you, run or else she will kill u one day, what u said is much but still yet did you take her life Bro learn to love yourself first you said it out of anger yes and you've realized you are very sorry if she won't agree then she should go back home, why would she keep her pregnancy away from you, she wants out

franchasng:
Forget that crap, my mother is in her late 70s and she looks younger than most ladies in their 40s, honestly I wished I can post her pix here. And she had lots of kids oh.

See, looking good comes by nature, gene and what you consume, not age. Some ladies look so pretty and hot when they are below 20yrs but once they cross 20, they start to transform to ugly.

Some look ugly below 20yrs and start to transform to hot ladies from 20yrs above.

Some look hot below 25yr or 30yrs and once they cross 30yrs they start to transform to look way prettier and hotter. Some start looking even sexier from 40yrs while some ladies who used to be very beautiful and lovely start to look ugly from 35yrs above.

Some ladies will be hot like fire but once they start to give birth they will start falling apart and be looking uglier as days roll. Some start looking prettier after child bearing.

So this thing is about individual gene and nature not by age.

My father look hotter now at 80s than he was at 50s

Some people become uglier as they age, while some become better looking as the grow in age.

In terms of character, in Nigeria, ladies start to develop good sense of reasoning from 27yrs and above. Below 27yrs, majority of Nigerian ladies don't know their bearing in life.

Most of them are still living fantasy life, wanting to live their life like those they watch on TV or read on novels, not knowing that there is difference between fantasies and reality.

When ladies are below 27yrs, they are selfish towards men, they only need men to give to them and spend on them, and they accept or reject men mostly based on money and other nonsensical qualities, but when they start approaching 30yrs and above, their understanding about life changes, they start to develop sense of good reasoning, and they start to become valuable women with value to offer other than sex.

As for guys, any lady marrying a guy below 30yrs is in for troubles. There are few exceptions but guys start to become mature for marriage from the age of 30 and above.

Best age for a guy to marry in Nigeria is 32yrs - 38yrs

So you get sense like this?

Fool.

You Bleep up big time bcus, when you pray for rain, you gonna deal with mud. Dont say a word again just free your mind from sadness and dont force her to tell you anything cus when you do,the anger will popup from her. Just stay calm and dont look her into her eye. Just free your mind totally, Let your gesture show you re sorry and it will be seeing by her and thing will start has norm again. BUT note this, she will express her feelings on the word you ve said to her but dont say anything, Let your gesture show you re very sorry. She will not forget the day you said those word to her. We all make such mistakes in life, but our reactions afterall shows if we mean it or not. I don't know how the gravity was i can only give advice, You are the man of your home, Don't bow down, Take control.

LilMissFavvy:
Only 31 smh...... I pray that lady heals. She married a man who does not value her.

C'mon....we have said things we are not supposed to say when we are angry. He made a terrible mistake and he has admitted it. If the lady truly loves him she'll forgive him

So impressed by almost all the advice given here. It's now up to you to make proper use of them all! Good luck.

Bro,

Deep down you know you told her the truth.

The truth that she already knows. Never regret being real.

Charles1888:
I had to create a new account for this

I don't know how to get through to my wife anymore, of which the fault is mine, when we were dating, she showed that she was committed to me and loved me wholeheartedly but I was reluctant to marry her cos she was of age, I wanted someone younger, say under 25, but something important that i have to acquire made me marry all of a sudden and she was the only one available, don't get me wrong, I loved her then, her peaceful and humble soul but for some reason I simply can't understand I felt she wasn't enough, but I was wrong, she was perfect, the best I can ever wish for and more, she is everything,

After we got married, you know newlyweds now, the quarrels about every little thing, it was much then, so this particular incident made me so worked up and angry I made a statement I shouldnt have said, during the heated argument I told her that she was never who I would have married, that she wasn't my specs, she was too old (31 lol) that if someone younger was available I wouldn't blink twice before I'll marry the person.

After saying all that, I wasn't sober about it, she held on to that statement, I knew she cried that night, since then we don't talk, play, gist anymore, we became distant, though I apologised the next morning but things isn't just the same anymore, communication isn't there, she only talks to me when she wants to ask or say necessary things, nothing more, though she still cooks, we still have sex, infact every other aspect is fine except for communication, anytime I come back from work and I'm in the sitting room, she doesn't stay there, she either goes to the room or dinning room, I have begged and begged and I don't want to involve third party cos I obviously caused this, when she got pregnant, she didn't tell me till I saw the strip, when I asked why she said she forgot, and we had plans to celebrate when she takes in, I was sad that day, I begged and asked to tell me anything she wants and I'll do it, I'll make it up to her,,she said she wants nothing that she is fine, I love her, she is my baby, we use to be gist buddies, I missed that and I want it back.

I don't know what to do anymore, it's my fault I know that and I'm sorry I ever said that cos it hurt her deeply, I told her to tell me more evil things so that we will be even, she said she can't that she loves me, we are drifting apart, I can feel it,

Pls help me folks, I came here becos I want anonymous advise, what else can I do to make the hurt go away?

Until I hear from her own side of the story, I reserve my comments

So painful.

I pray the man I will end up marrying will never say such to me, if not that marriage is dead on arrival.

Honestly it's over. Na just to manage ourselves for the house remain.

Op u messed big time. How old is 31?

Me, that I'm even.more than 31 years. I still look young and frosh. No man can say such to me sha. You can now see why women lie about their age? Cause men like you will use it against her in quarrel. Men don't like truth when it comes to age matters.

Na WA o.

usernamepass:
Bla bla bla..
Op shut da Vuck UP and hold your mount pim..
You are simply not man enough to discuss marrage talkless of getting married.
Real men dont talk too much..
I bet your mouth will leak again and you will repeat the same okpata yaRn again..
You have succeeded in keeling the woman in your wife and now that shes gone..
Bear your cross and dont you ever... I repeat dont you ever come on here to disturb our peace again.
Abi SA Xenophobia never do??
SHOOO

I can't believe people liked this piece of crap.

You have said what would be almost impossible to forget to this woman and begging wont solve it.
Let's take a different approach to this; buy her gifts, take her out frequently, if she keeps distance close up that distance. Woo her all over again like you did the first time but with style. Try to make her laugh, only that way she will be open to you.

iPrevail:
Stop begging. Change tactics. Just tell her everyday that you love her and she means a lot to you.. Say it every single day, no matter what happens.
If she remains that way till the year ends, just know you married a very vindictive person you should actually be wary of.
If you can't forgive a person or look past their flaws, then you don't love them

You definitely don't know the implication of what the guy said to his wife, or maybe you don't understand it. Imagine a woman telling her husband she actually didn't plan to marry him cause he is too short and broke. Such statement doesn't cause hurt alone, it leads to insecurity and break trusts. Now, anytime the guy warm up to a younger woman, that woman will feel insecure, she will assume the gůy is wishing he didn't marry her but that younger girl. Her self esteem is on the low no matter how confident she was before.
Aside that, nothing breaks a woman than knowing she is not enough for the one she loves. Some words can be forgiven but not forgotten

Pls sir, do not involve anyone. You know how she ticks, it is up to you to make this work.
Experienced same, but found a way around it. Would never involve third party.

Op... I know you've realised your mistakes and you are ready to make things right as they were before. Your wife is the gentle soul type. One thing about this set of people is that they don't get angry like every other persons, but when you offend em beyond what they can take, it will take God's intervention before you will find your true nd right places in their heart again. So, what l will suggest you should do is to keep begging her nd also keep praying to God. Don't forget that as she's now, she doesn't want to be hurt again nd before she will accept you she must have had every reason to trust you nd that such thing will never happen again.

So, go to your wife nd beg her till she accepts you from her heart. Peace I pray for ya marriage!