cococandy:
Spoken Like a true child

It's called preference. If you got married in your thirties, it doesn't mean every man must be like your gentleman husband.
I don't like old spinsters, period!
The longer she stays unmarried, the more body counts she will have. Plus, I'm yet to see such woman who isn't bitter about men and relationships.

Please, let's not derail this sensitive thread. Meaning, don't quote me. Have a nice day

franchasng:
Forget that crap, my mother is in her late 70s and she looks younger than most ladies in their 40s, honestly I wished I can post her pix here. And she had lots of kids oh.

See, looking good comes by nature, gene and what you consume, not age. Some ladies look so pretty and hot when they are below 20yrs but once they cross 20, they start to transform to ugly.

Some look ugly below 20yrs and start to transform to hot ladies from 20yrs above.

Some look hot below 25yr or 30yrs and once they cross 30yrs they start to transform to look way prettier and hotter. Some start looking even sexier from 40yrs while some ladies who used to be very beautiful and lovely start to look ugly from 35yrs above.

Some ladies will be hot like fire but once they start to give birth they will start falling apart and be looking uglier as days roll. Some start looking prettier after child bearing.

So this thing is about individual gene and nature not by age.

My father look hotter now at 80s than he was at 50s

Some people become uglier as they age, while some become better looking as the grow in age.

In terms of character, in Nigeria, ladies start to develop good sense of reasoning from 27yrs and above. Below 27yrs, majority of Nigerian ladies don't know their bearing in life.

Most of them are still living fantasy life, wanting to live their life like those they watch on TV or read on novels, not knowing that there is difference between fantasies and reality.

When ladies are below 27yrs, they are selfish towards men, they only need men to give to them and spend on them, and they accept or reject men mostly based on money and other nonsensical qualities, but when they start approaching 30yrs and above, their understanding about life changes, they start to develop sense of good reasoning, and they start to become valuable women with value to offer other than sex.

As for guys, any lady marrying a guy below 30yrs is in for troubles. There are few exceptions but guys start to become mature for marriage from the age of 30 and above.

Best age for a guy to marry in Nigeria is 32yrs - 38yrs

Are you married?

iPrevail:


Listen, I've had firsthand experiences. I've said horrible things to my gf and she's said unbelievable things to me as well... All in moments of anger. My mum has said things she should never say to me before, she was very angry. But beyond all of these, I know these people love me because they've proved that.. And I love them as well. One moment of unwholesomness is not enough to wreck a relationship, not to talk of a marriage.
So her husband got angry and said bad things to her, what is the best thing for her to do? Sulk over it all year?

You misunderstood mother love for husband and wife totally wrong there is nothing my mum would tell me that will break me let someone tell you that same thing outside then your reaction will speak volume so think about that

Biglittlelois:



Are you married?

Follow him and you will see him contradict himself in less than a week. I don't take franchas serious anymore.

Tela101:


What of mothers that abandon their kids?

When i said mothers, i never meant all mothers
But only from mothers u will find a woman that will love her son unconditionally

AntiBrutus:


Follow him and you will see him contradict himself in less than a week. I don't take franchas serious anymore.

Are you serious? Is he like those blabber mouth in romance? Thought he is probably among the few sane ones here, lol.

Charles1888:
I had to create a new account for this

I don't know how to get through to my wife anymore, of which the fault is mine, when we were dating, she showed that she was committed to me and loved me wholeheartedly but I was reluctant to marry her cos she was of age, I wanted someone younger, say under 25, but something important that i have to acquire made me marry all of a sudden and she was the only one available, don't get me wrong, I loved her then, her peaceful and humble soul but for some reason I simply can't understand I felt she wasn't enough, but I was wrong, she was perfect, the best I can ever wish for and more, she is everything,

After we got married, you know newlyweds now, the quarrels about every little thing, it was much then, so this particular incident made me so worked up and angry I made a statement I shouldnt have said, during the heated argument I told her that she was never who I would have married, that she wasn't my specs, she was too old (31 lol) that if someone younger was available I wouldn't blink twice before I'll marry the person.

After saying all that, I wasn't sober about it, she held on to that statement, I knew she cried that night, since then we don't talk, play, gist anymore, we became distant, though I apologised the next morning but things isn't just the same anymore, communication isn't there, she only talks to me when she wants to ask or say necessary things, nothing more, though she still cooks, we still have sex, infact every other aspect is fine except for communication, anytime I come back from work and I'm in the sitting room, she doesn't stay there, she either goes to the room or dinning room, I have begged and begged and I don't want to involve third party cos I obviously caused this, when she got pregnant, she didn't tell me till I saw the strip, when I asked why she said she forgot, and we had plans to celebrate when she takes in, I was sad that day, I begged and asked to tell me anything she wants and I'll do it, I'll make it up to her,,she said she wants nothing that she is fine, I love her, she is my baby, we use to be gist buddies, I missed that and I want it back.

I don't know what to do anymore, it's my fault I know that and I'm sorry I ever said that cos it hurt her deeply, I told her to tell me more evil things so that we will be even, she said she can't that she loves me, we are drifting apart, I can feel it,

Pls help me folks, I came here becos I want anonymous advise, what else can I do to make the hurt go away?

my brother so sorry u find urself in dis situation,all dat u have written still tells dat u both still do love each other dearly,things like dis happens sometimes in marriage cos I have been there for 12yrs now,forget all those dat say dat u don't appreciate ur wife,I think u do well appreciate her and she is a wonderful woman,very tolerant as well,u are doing d right thing by apologising and trying to make her happy again and don't get it wrong ur wife already knows dat u are truly sorry,my honest advice to u at dis point will be dat u suspend apologising further for now ,just be caring ,soft and calm to her now ,the reason is dat dey say too much of everything isn't good,allow ur wife d space to reflect on all d apologies u have made to he already ,wen she is done with it she wil still stretch her hands out to u.dats d power of love,remember love does hurt ok.just keep being a good man to her and she will bring u back into her heart ,for now stop looking too much into her face ,I do not mean u should do dat maliciously but just pretend like d episode of begging is over or else she will keep u begging for ever because sometimes she could be enjoying ur begging too,u could sometimes throw in a joke to her wen u are together for example "babe u don turn me to beggar o!" And don't expect her to laugh ,just try to play with her ones at a time and not always because if u do always then u are still begging .pls take note do not listen to those dat say u should bring somebody else into dis matter ,it will complicate it,I believe it's something that is left for both of u if u go about it like I have adviced.take care and god bless.dont forget to tell ur wife say I dey greet oooo

Biglittlelois:



Are you serious? Is he like those blabber mouth in romance? Thought he is probably among the few sane ones here, lol.

He isn't a Romance section blabber mouth, but he contradicts himself a lot. Today he is saying older girls are better, tomorrow you will see him saying the opposite.

I don't know how he does it...

Bro... U messed up BIG TIME...just keep on begging o.... 90% certain she has forgiven u but, knowing women, she just wants to put you through hell.

Also, next time you get angry or feel like exchanging words with your wife, don't take the bait...walk away instead. Its easier to say nothing and apologize or settle for walking away and saying nothing than apologizing for what was said.

It has NOT FAILED ME YET.

One bottle of anything you drink(non-alcoholic o lol) to this guy! This is Gbam!

iPrevail:
Stop begging. Change tactics. Just tell her everyday that you love her and she means a lot to you.. Say it every single day, no matter what happens.
If she remains that way till the year ends, just know you married a very vindictive person you should actually be wary of.
If you can't forgive a person or look past their flaws, then you don't love them

Biglittlelois:



Are you married?

in fact half married

Love is dead bro women are very emotional and barely forgives you are wrong in every sense but just keep praying, don’t keep late night, don’t do anything wrong anymore that will make her feel rejected. Try to be matured in everything you do handle everything like a man, do not always press the panic bottom.

God help you

if dis can cause a lot of pain in marriage, then i need to learn how to talk to ladies then, because I know myself I can say more than that to someone

Men and women are not the same
Woman has vagina man has penis
Women are more emotional men are more logical

It is the way God created us. Nature cannot be challenged by anyone. Once you understand the dynamics of this, you will know how to live peacefully with your spouse. Women are more sensitive to words, public opinions, their looks and everything pertaining them. Stop comparing the two genders, it can’t work like that.

gbagyiza:


Let us be frank in what we say, the women say this frequently to d men but the men r full of forgiveness. If most of d men will open up n tell you what their wives say against them, it is enough to bring down the union but they let it go n continue with life.. But here we r, a man angrily said those words, understood his mistakes n asked for forgiveness but d woman is busy taking d matter for head. Women don't forgive easily, they should do away with that kind of character.

edoboss1234:
Love is dead bro women are very emotional and barely forgives you are wrong in every sense but just keep praying, don’t keep late night, don’t do anything wrong anymore that will make her feel rejected. Try to be matured in everything you do handle everything like a man, do not always press the panic bottom.

God help you

if women hardly forgive why r they going into marriage then, marriage is meant for two forgiven forgivers

Just keep being the best of u.
Don't push yourself too much.
I suggest u read through her horoscope too.

usernamepass:
Bla bla bla..
Op shut da Vuck UP and hold your mount pim..
You are simply not man enough to discuss marrage talkless of getting married.
Real men dont talk too much..
I bet your mouth will leak again and you will repeat the same okpata yaRn again..
You have succeeded in keeling the woman in your wife and now that shes gone..
Bear your cross and dont you ever... I repeat dont you ever come on here to disturb our peace again.
Abi SA Xenophobia never do??
SHOOO

You talk too much.

I guess you not a real man

theButterfly:
You should be empathetic to her b/c the things he said were too much /incredibly hurtful, and shows he doesn't love her that much.
These are not just bad things but things you don't say to someone you love, that is, if you truly love them!

How would you feel if your own so-called spouse tells you

1. You were never who they wanted to marry
2. You weren't their specs
3. You were/are too old for them
4. If someone younger was available you wouldn't have blinked twice before marrying them

She is never going to forget these words and it's going to affect their marriage henceforth. He shouldn't have married her if these were his feelings going into the marriage. Anger typically exposes hidden feelings / things you've been bottling up, so I do believe he meant them.

women can say more than these to their husbands

mekussa:
Bro... U messed up BIG TIME...just keep on begging o.... 90% certain she has forgiven u but, knowing women, she just wants to put you through hell.

Also, next time you get angry or feel like exchanging words with your wife, don't take the bait...walk away instead. Its easier to say nothing and apologize or settle for walking away and saying nothing than apologizing for what was said.

It has NOT FAILED ME YET.

I really bless God for the way He created me oh cos I can hardly get angry to the extent of arguing with anybody, where is the time to even start the discussion that will lead to quarrel or argument with a lady, hehe


My greatest response when I am angry is silence or I grab my phone and browse or play some soccer game

Before I use to run away by driving out to somewhere, but mhen driving now is like a big task that I dread, so I am not running anywhere again should anybody annoy me and reason I am getting the latest PS4 soccer games soonest with a big screen, I can't come and kill myself in this life.

I know its not by my power but God that created me that way cos ever since I have known myself I have never quarreled with any lady in real life or exchanged words, so it amazes me when I hear guys quarrel or argue with their ladies.


The only thing that can make me moody or unhappy in marriage is child bearing issue which I know God won't let me experience cos I love kids to pieces and sometimes I feel like stealing some kids, God forgive me


So long as I am healthy, strong and God is still helping my financial life grow as He has been doing, my brother I no get any issue with anybody for this life at all except stupid, corrupt Nigerian politicians

BetWinners:
Nigerian men have got to stop placing so much value on women.
@OP You told your wife the blunt truth.Women are waaay harsher with the truth when they direct it at men.Countless women have told their husbands the exact same thing you told your wife (their husbands not being their first choice) & the men moved on.
Tell your wife if she can't act right & put that poo behind her,then both of you should split cos you can't continue stepping on eggshells in your own house.
Simple stuff

Op, take this advice at your own perils.

Follow your heart.

organism3:
if dis can cause a lot of pain in marriage, then i need to learn how to talk to ladies then, because I know myself I can say more than that to someone

then write your will and also do your obituary poster in advance before u marry because our ladies of today can give u rat poison if u fuckup and nobody will know what killed you

You’re the one typing rubbish on a thread where another man is asking for advice. As if your so called “preference” is helping him instead of derailing the thread. And you have the stupid effrontery to tell me not to derail. Stupid.

What should we say is the cause of your own bitterness? Your old age? Because you’re definitely bitter as a pill. Spilling BS that no one cares about in the name of expressing your preference. Yet again, it’s the old spinsters who are bitter.

I would ask if your own body count matters as well but like a true dumbfvck misogynistic asswyp, I know what your answer will be.

May you never grow old sha. Since old people are not humans.

24kmagic:


It's called preference. If you got married in your thirties, it doesn't mean every man must be like your gentleman husband.
I don't like old spinsters, period!
The longer she stays unmarried, the more body counts she will have. Plus, I'm yet to see such woman who isn't bitter about men and relationships.

Please, let's not derail this sensitive thread. Meaning, don't quote me. Have a nice day

iPrevail:
Stop begging. Change tactics. Just tell her everyday that you love her and she means a lot to you.. Say it every single day, no matter what happens.
If she remains that way till the year ends, just know you married a very vindictive person you should actually be wary of.
If you can't forgive a person or look past their flaws, then you don't love them

With this you wrote, you are not the type to advise someone more or less a married person.
What he said alone can end a marriage! That man is silly for saying such rubbish and should take whatever comes from that unguarded utterance! The wife tried staying with him still. An average woman will walk out of that marriage cuz its glaring she is not valued not needed.

As a punishment, he should be saying appreciative and loving words every second and minute of the day to her and buy her gifts. He should make sure he buy her what she loves and values the most.

Tell her you're a fool because its only fools that do what you did (her reaction shows that you struck a nerve - probably something she might had been thinking herself). Most men are fools with pride. Her woman ego has been affected. This is where you work on. Make her feel good. Show not tell.

Poorboy:
Her brain go still come back, so relax.

You're silly.

You made a serious mistake with that statement and it hurts to the bone. I advise you start with the subtle things like changing the name you used to install her contact number to something you know she would appreciate. You should know the kind of endearments that turn her on. In the evening, while she is preparing dinner and you are around, go there and stay, help with little things. Disturb, disturb and disturb. My woman always tells me that i am disturbing her whenever i come to the kitchen but it works for me. Na there she dey tell me every gist about her friends and throughout the night, she would always laugh to my small small jokes. You can also take her out and 'Re-woo' her again. Tell her that you have fuuuuucked the first chance and now want second chance even though it is too early to demand for second chance because the way you see yourself, you would be demanding for 99 chances in no distance time. Add that you would always value every chance given to you but she should know that you sucks and still she finds somewhere in your heart to love you. If she still keeps away from you, guy, take her to her father and or mother and confess. Or, arrange drama in your house with any of your siblings. I do it sometimes. When i was dating my woman, she caught me red-handed deleting love messages I exchanged with another girl. It was heated and the relationship was almost taking a nosedive. I had to arrange little drama with my little sister. I told her what happened and said she should come over. When she came, i told my girlfriend that my sister was around(They gossip a lot together and they respect each other). In the night, brought the issue and my lil sis acted as if i was telling her what happened for the first time. After I finished she started rebuking me. She acted like our mother. Even my girl was begging her to calm down. That was how excaped ooo. My woman still threatens to tell my sister anytime i offend her and i would apologize. She doesn't know it was pure staged drama. I wish you luck in your marriage. Nothing like happy home. Do anything possible to have a happy home.

Its funny how people jumb into what they truly dont understand.
You dont love her at all, your intention was to date her not to marry her.

When a guy keep making reference to a lady's age then something is wrong, there re guys who truly prefer older ladies but not you.

There re also ladies who prefer younger guys and its ok. Individual preference, nothing is wrong with it.

I dont have advice for you oo. You dont love her, thats all.

AntiBrutus:


He isn't a Romance section blabber mouth, but he contradicts himself a lot. Today he is saying older girls are better, tomorrow you will see him saying the opposite.

I don't know how he does it...

Maybe his brain wiring disconnects sometimes......

Charles1888:
I had to create a new account for this

I don't know how to get through to my wife anymore, of which the fault is mine, when we were dating, she showed that she was committed to me and loved me wholeheartedly but I was reluctant to marry her cos she was of age, I wanted someone younger, say under 25, but something important that i have to acquire made me marry all of a sudden and she was the only one available, don't get me wrong, I loved her then, her peaceful and humble soul but for some reason I simply can't understand I felt she wasn't enough, but I was wrong, she was perfect, the best I can ever wish for and more, she is everything,

After we got married, you know newlyweds now, the quarrels about every little thing, it was much then, so this particular incident made me so worked up and angry I made a statement I shouldnt have said, during the heated argument I told her that she was never who I would have married, that she wasn't my specs, she was too old (31 lol) that if someone younger was available I wouldn't blink twice before I'll marry the person.

After saying all that, I wasn't sober about it, she held on to that statement, I knew she cried that night, since then we don't talk, play, gist anymore, we became distant, though I apologised the next morning but things isn't just the same anymore, communication isn't there, she only talks to me when she wants to ask or say necessary things, nothing more, though she still cooks, we still have sex, infact every other aspect is fine except for communication, anytime I come back from work and I'm in the sitting room, she doesn't stay there, she either goes to the room or dinning room, I have begged and begged and I don't want to involve third party cos I obviously caused this, when she got pregnant, she didn't tell me till I saw the strip, when I asked why she said she forgot, and we had plans to celebrate when she takes in, I was sad that day, I begged and asked to tell me anything she wants and I'll do it, I'll make it up to her,,she said she wants nothing that she is fine, I love her, she is my baby, we use to be gist buddies, I missed that and I want it back.

I don't know what to do anymore, it's my fault I know that and I'm sorry I ever said that cos it hurt her deeply, I told her to tell me more evil things so that we will be even, she said she can't that she loves me, we are drifting apart, I can feel it,

Pls help me folks, I came here becos I want anonymous advise, what else can I do to make the hurt go away?

send me your email I will send you a plan booku will participate in the activity for 30days(love dare book) that will help you through this to get her back..but also get someone from your family or her side that she respects alot.you really over stepped your boundary but no one is perfect.May God help you

Biingoo:
Rubbish!

Ntooor

dairykidd:
Op first of all admit to yourself that u ar a big f00l..

Now stop begging her totally. When u beg too much i believe she may come to resent u in a pity kind of way & u go loose ur honour. You have to start from the scratch again. Win her heart, make her believe u truly love her & all she stands for. U need to do all the things u would do to show a new babe that she's the one u want to live & die with. Genuinely show her how deep your love is for her. And when she comes back around never stop treating her right & always think before u talk sh1t!

Interesting

sholapot:
You will be very lucky if she can forgive you before she puts to birth, if she does not, she will just transfer all the love to the child, and leave you hanging. You have succeeded in killing the love in your marriage. Good luck.

Love? There was never love in the marriage according to the OP. There was a lot of deception and the OP said it out. This is the case of many marriages today looolz. The heart of man is full of secrets and whoever is not economical with the truth will end up useless.