Women can be very "wonderful" , if she is not always like that, he should find out what is eating her up.

You mentioned that they are staying in his families house, its possible she is not comfortable with the idea.
Let him vex small, but not try to exchange words, when he has finished vexing, he should swallow his pride, go to her and tell her he does not like what she did and ask her what warranted her disrespect .

I always say this, even though its a wrong attitude, women tend to be more emotional than logical, they prefer sometimes to use "attitude" to communicate than actually being vocal.

They should both communicate

Still not an excuse for her behavior though.

Some women here sha, how can you say she is allergic to washing, imagine a man saying he is allergic to making money, Nairaland would not rest that day.

Donald3d:
Women can be very "wonderful" , if she is not always like that, he should find out what is eating her up.

You mentioned that they are staying in his families house, its possible she is not comfortable with the idea.
Let him vex small, but not try to exchange words, when he has finished vexing, he should swallow his pride, go to her and tell her he does not like what she did and ask her what warranted her disrespect .

I always say this, even though its a wrong attitude, women tend to be more emotional than logical, they prefer sometimes to use "attitude" to communicate than actually being vocal.

They should both communicate

Still not an excuse for her behavior though.

Some women here sha, how can you say she is allergic to washing, imagine a man saying he is allergic to making money, Nairaland would not rest that day.

Personally, I find it easier to make money than to do chores.
I rather outsource a lot of things. She was probably tired after the packing/moving house and washing curtains. Curtains!!! I jump and pass.
Perhaps even in her father's house, she doesn't do as much chores and washing clothes. Its allowed to be tired and to rest o.

eni4real:
According to who??

Are you married?

yeyeosoronga:


Personally, I find it easier to make money than to do chores.
I rather outsource a lot of things. She was probably tired after the packing/moving house and washing curtains. Curtains!!! I jump and pass.
Perhaps even in her father's house, she doesn't do as much chores and washing clothes. Its allowed to be tired and to rest o.

Yes its allowed to be tired, but not in the manner in which she did it. She should have conveyed her message properly, if indeed she was tired. There is nothing wrong in saying "Hubby I am tired, please let's do this later", from the way the man is described, he most likely would have told her to go and rest and he would handle it.

Mode and manner of communication is very important.

Theyoungmatron:
Are you married?

Are you a man??

Rhythm of the scenario is that of two people in a loveless marriage - mutual altruism is absent in their union. It's more like that of two business competitors, not even mutually respecting business partners, who were asked by an authority (like a government) to form a consortium to pursue a common business deal instead of both losing out from the deal due to their individual vested interest and persistent loggerheads.

The man should start wearing his love garb (thoughtfulness and tactfulness) while the woman should start wearing her submissive garb (selflessness and meekness) to enable unity, peace and happiness between them.

Donald3d:


Yes its allowed to be tired, but not in the manner in which she did it. She should have conveyed her message properly, if indeed she was tired. There is nothing wrong in saying "Hubby I am tired, please let's do this later", from the way the man is described, he most likely would have told her to go and rest and he would handle it.

Mode and manner of communication is very important.

Thanks Sir, I think you are one person that actually captured the matter to a great extent. Actually he is that kind of person. According to him, it wasn't that she was tired, he just noticed that she wanted to prove something he can't really pin point. He said something told him not to excuse her behavior and soak the cloths, that she is deliberately avoiding it. He even told her that he would do the washing while she does rinsing. He kept wondering why she was comfortable struggling with a cotton than helping him complete the soaking of the cloths. He couldn't understand the rational behind her action. He said he noticed somethings this morning that he can't really explain. He even asked her to get washing brush for him from his mother's room that he wants to use and wash her stained blouse, she refused and after a while she said he should go get the brush for her, which he vehemently rebuked her and verbally forced her to enter and bring it,which she reluctantly did. He thought it was just some mood swing, but when he observed that she wanted to do any other thing than help him complete the soaking, he knew she was up to something. He is really not happy and having some deep thought about the issue.

LordKO:
Rhythm of the scenario is that of two people in a loveless marriage. It's more like that of two business competitors, not even mutually respecting business partners, who were asked by an authority (like a government) to form a consortium to pursue a common business deal instead of both losing out from the deal due to their individual vested interest and persistent loggerheads.

The man should start wearing his love garb (thoughtfulness and tactfulness) while the woman should start wearing her submissive garb (selflessness and meekness) to enable unity, peace and happiness between them.

No Sir, you are wrong. I know them quite well, they love each other very well. If I can't say for her, I can say for him.

yeyeosoronga:


Personally, I find it easier to make money than to do chores.
I rather outsource a lot of things. She was probably tired after the packing/moving house and washing curtains. Curtains!!! I jump and pass.
Perhaps even in her father's house, she doesn't do as much chores and washing clothes. Its allowed to be tired and to rest o.

She insisted they do the washing. It was her idea.

Donald3d:
Women can be very "wonderful" , if she is not always like that, he should find out what is eating her up.

You mentioned that they are staying in his families house, its possible she is not comfortable with the idea.
Let him vex small, but not try to exchange words, when he has finished vexing, he should swallow his pride, go to her and tell her he does not like what she did and ask her what warranted her disrespect .

I always say this, even though its a wrong attitude, women tend to be more emotional than logical, they prefer sometimes to use "attitude" to communicate than actually being vocal.

They should both communicate

Still not an excuse for her behavior though.

Some women here sha, how can you say she is allergic to washing, imagine a man saying he is allergic to making money, Nairaland would not rest that day.

They are not staying in his father's house, they just went to spend the night and Sunday there. She agreed that they go there and wash their dirty cloths and cottons there

Willy7:
No Sir, you are wrong. I know them quite well, they love each other very well. If I can say for her, I can say for him.

It's obvious that our understanding of love differs, because I don't see how either a thoughtful man or selfless woman in this scenario will not cheerfully assume responsibility of the need without the needless dispute and invitation of a third party like you in the scheme of things.

Mutual altruism is absent in their union - altruism (thoughtfulness/selflessness) is the soul of oneness, and oneness is the soul of marriage.

It's obvious the both of them do not understand what marriage entails.

Marriage is partnership, submission, thoughtfulness, kindness, temperance, patience/ long-suffering, empathy, compassion, respect, forgiveness.
Show him these qualities, they should start working towards them If they really want a successful marriage.

Also, tell the man to stop thinking of how he would " show" her. What does he mean by that? He wants to repay her in her own coin? Or discipline her for being stubborn? Did he not know she was stubborn before marriage? Does he even love his wife? Does he understand what love is?

Two of them were just busy struggling to enforce their opinion, that a common, little chore that they would have done gisting and laughing, turned into a power tussle and the man thinking of how to "show" her.

First, they should settle this particular incident. It doesn't matter who makes peace first, the most important thing is that there is peace at home. Then, both of them should go back to the drawing board and talk about how to handle chores and how to talk to each other, how to be patient with each other, kind, tolerant, forgiving, empathetic, overlooking certain things, humble to each other, respectful to each other.

Anybody who has pride and is unforgiving should not bother getting married.

I wish them the best.

Willy7:
Ya, he is seriously considering not helping her out on chores anymore. In fact he is furious.

he SHOULD

lilmax:
They usually do laundries together, and he does the washing while she rinses and spreads.


his fvck up

helping her do chores

that's why its good your woman does all the chores, because it will become familiarity las las

forget the a husband should help his wife crap


deed is done, he should continue or stop helping her

this your comment is scary.

Savvywriteprene:
It's obvious the both of them do not understand what marriage entails.

Marriage is partnership, submission, thoughtfulness, kindness, temperance, patience/ long-suffering, empathy, compassion, respect, forgiveness.
Show him these qualities, they should start working towards them If they really want a successful marriage.

Also, tell the man to stop thinking of how he would " show" her. What does he mean by that? He wants to repay her in her own coin? Or discipline her for being stubborn? Did he not know she was stubborn before marriage? Does he even love his wife? Does he understand what love is?

Two of them were just busy struggling to enforce their opinion, that a common, little chore that they would have done gisting and laughing, turned into a power tussle and the man thinking of how to "show" her.

First, they should settle this particular incident. It doesn't matter who makes peace first, the most important thing is that there is peace at home. Then, both of them should go back to the drawing board and talk about how to handle chores and how to talk to each other, how to be patient with each other, kind, tolerant, forgiving, empathetic, overlooking certain things, humble to each other, respectful to each other.

Anybody who has pride and is unforgiving should not bother getting married.

I wish them the best.

Thanks for your wonderful contribution.

Make him buy washing machine nau. Pending then, everybody should do their own laundry. EOD.

.

Willy7:
He asked that I do this for him. It wasn't my idea. Thanks

It is 'curtains' not 'cottons'.

LilMissFavvy:
If she is allergic to washing, then the man should be taking the clothes to a dry cleaner. If he wants to cause problems in his marriage simply because of washing, then that's his business. Some men provide washing machines for their wives, no big deal.

Chum Chum

How was service today?


I hope you do laundries o.

............I am bubbling!

healthserve:



Chum Chum

How was service today?


I hope you do laundries o.

Willy7:
Thanks for your wonderful contribution.

You are welcome.

ireneidiva:

It is 'curtains' not 'cottons'.

Thanks for that correction.

the way u handle ur partner in the beginning go determine where ur relationship is heading to. NO woman can try shiit with me

Why am I having this feeling that you are the supposed husband? Because the rate at which you answer questions thrown at you eh like you're the said husband baffles me

Anyways, their marriage is still very much early and young to start throwing unnecessary tantrums, he should make use of the washing machine just for today and cancel helping her out with house chores to avoid issues like this from reoccurring.

She just shot herself on the leg by being stubborn to a man who is always willing to help her with house chores

Willy7:
Happy Sunday Nairalanders.
I'm posting this on behalf of a neighbour and he is reading and seeing your advices and contributions as a guest.
He recently got married about 3 months ago. According to him, his wife is not the pretentious type,sometimes stubborn but also hardworking. Something happened today that has got him thinking. They usually do laundries together, and he does the washing while she rinses and spreads. They brought out their dirty cloths and cottons for laundry this morning and after she soaked the cottons, she asked him to soak the cloths which he obliged. He hasn't finished soaking it when he noticed that she is struggling with the cottons, and he asked her to leave the cottons for him and come over to finish the soaking of the cloths he was doing, she told him playfully but point-blank that she won't touch the cloths. He thought it was a joke, he took over the cottons and after soaking it, he found out that she has been dodging the cloths. She refused touching it. He got upset and left the laundry, she took over the cotton. When he later came out, he took the cotton from her and helped her rinse them to spread. As he was doing this, she entered the house and start bathing. When he enquired, she said she has finished washing, and if he can't wash the cloths, he should park them inside. My neighbour was stunned. He got angry and went into the house leaving the cloths outside. For sometime now, he has been thinking what action to take and how to address such issue. He wants to know if this is just stubbornness or is there something he is Ignorant of.

Poverty at work....how much is washing machine

Michelle55:
Why am I having this feeling that you are the supposed husband? Because the rate at which you answer questions thrown at you eh like you're the said husband baffles me

Anyways, their marriage is still very much early and young to start throwing unnecessary tantrums, he should make use of the washing machine just for today and cancel helping her out with house chores to avoid issues like this from reoccurring.

She just shot herself on the leg by being stubborn to a man who is always willing to help her with house chores

Why do you guys keep saying he is 'helping' her with chores? Aren't his clothes among the heap? So he is helping her wash his clothes?

Michelle55:
Why am I having this feeling that you are the supposed husband? Because the rate at which you answer questions thrown at you eh like you're the said husband baffles me

Anyways, their marriage is still very much early and young to start throwing unnecessary tantrums, he should make use of the washing machine just for today and cancel helping her out with house chores to avoid issues like this from reoccurring.

She just shot herself on the leg by being stubborn to a man who is always willing to help her with house chores

He's not helping her do anything. It's their house and clothes. So stop using the word help.

yettymuse:
WTF!!!!

You have not communicated. Let us know your opinion.

LilMissFavvy:
If she is allergic to washing, then the man should be taking the clothes to a dry cleaner. If he wants to cause problems in his marriage simply because of washing, then that's his business. Some men provide washing machines for their wives, no big deal.

Is this your best opinion?

theButterfly:
Fixed that for you.

hahahahaha....

If he hires a girl/woman to come and do the washing, either:
- the wife won't care which means she either trusts her husband or she cares about someone else.

- the wife will mind and stop forming.

However, I don't think we have enough info to fully understand her reaction. Let her tell her own side of the story.

Willy7:
Happy Sunday Nairalanders.
I'm posting this on behalf of a neighbour and he is reading and seeing your advices and contributions as a guest.
He recently got married about 3 months ago. According to him, his wife is not the pretentious type,sometimes stubborn but also hardworking. Something happened today that has got him thinking. They usually do laundries together, and he does the washing while she rinses and spreads. They brought out their dirty cloths and cottons for laundry this morning and after she soaked the cottons, she asked him to soak the cloths which he obliged. He hasn't finished soaking it when he noticed that she is struggling with the cottons, and he asked her to leave the cottons for him and come over to finish the soaking of the cloths he was doing, she told him playfully but point-blank that she won't touch the cloths. He thought it was a joke, he took over the cottons and after soaking it, he found out that she has been dodging the cloths. She refused touching it. He got upset and left the laundry, she took over the cotton. When he later came out, he took the cotton from her and helped her rinse them to spread. As he was doing this, she entered the house and start bathing. When he enquired, she said she has finished washing, and if he can't wash the cloths, he should park them inside. My neighbour was stunned. He got angry and went into the house leaving the cloths outside. For sometime now, he has been thinking what action to take and how to address such issue. He wants to know if this is just stubbornness or is there something he is Ignorant of.