₦airaland Forum

MissOffpoint:
Hello everyone, I hope am welcomed here.

funkyjms:
So far you won't be off point.

swtme:
Hello everyone
I just came across this post and i am really so excited
I am an introvert and also suffer from anxiety disorder and one of the symptoms is panic attack

This has not been easy because i am married with kids but the good thing is that i no longer have OCD and sleeping paralysis,thanks to the drugs given to me back then by my psychiatrist.

I have stopped seeing the psychiatrist though because i was getting addicted to the drugs and I don’t want to live my life on drugs

Please I would like to know if there’s anyone out there going through this and how they’ve been able to handle this so far

Emmynator:
Hello everyone, i have been following this thread for quite sometimes as a guest, i am an introvert but i want to put forth a problem which has been bothering me a bit.
The thing is i have an issues with emotions, i don't have them especially romantic ones and i also have difficulty imagining how people feel, and so i end up hurting people sometimes without even knowing it, i am not insultive at all, but i have difficulty screening out things which can be a bit sensitive.
Relationship wise, i am very unromantic and bland, i try to be different but it is difficult for me.
Have anyone been in my shoes and gotten out? please offer advice on how i can overcome the problems i highlighted above, i anticipate your answers, thank you.

raydatluvs:
Firstly, emotions are chemical reactions from the brain and most of the time, it's our efforts that ripples into the emotions. For example, if you want to be more romantic, make a conscious effort to say or do romantic things, go to the flower shop and buy your lady a flower or tell your lady you love her.
Nothing in being an introvert hinders you from doing these things, even extroverts make these efforts albeit effortlessly.

With the second thing, I find that weird because I think as introverts we tend to be more sensitive,
which is more or less why were prone to be taken for granted. Still, you can decide to be more kind and thoughtful towards people. But to help you, consider reading up on the rotary club four way test in building up relationships.
I really want us all not to see our nature as a limitation, we can keep our nature and still live normal lives. Whatever you want to do better, just make a conscious efforts and you'll be better for it.

I hope my 2cents makes sense to you

Emmynator:
Thank you for your reply, you made alot of sense, i do make conscious effort to be romantic but it weighs me down sometimes, i feel some what guilty or bad that i may say "i love you" without feeling up to it.
I have a very low emotional intelligence, but i have grown more this past year, I am just a stage of trying to convince myself that doing it is enough even though i don't feel up to it.

raydatluvs:
You should keep on, it's a growing phase. You're fine!

Idaytesj29:
Hello my people, I am so happy to find this lounge even though I have been on nairaland for a while.

I am an introvert, no questions about that. As a guy in early 30s, I have never asked more than 3 girls out for a relationship and I had never slept with more than 2 ladies, my wife and one other. It became so strong that my parents were considering matchmaking me, but I surprised them after I introduced my fiancee now wife to them.

I have a very brilliant mind, I enjoy being alone, indoors, not too much people around, have very small circle of friends and after school time, we are hundreds of kilometres or nautical miles apart now
I enjoy watching TVs alone, playing indoor games or video games.

But, I have a problem. Some people tend to think I am stupid or mumu cos I don't talk much and if I am not very close to you, I cant be free around you.

How do I make people see me as not mumu cos I don't talk or talk much?

How do I make them respect my decision or if I have not acted on something, not because I am dumb, actually most times its because I am intelligently considering major angle that they are too fast to think about or they had rushed their decisions and as a result overlooked or missed vital point especially at work.

How do I change their outlook?

This is because it has to do with work, if not as an introvert, I don't think I care much.

raydatluvs:
YOU DO NOT OWE ANYBODY ANY JUSTIFICATION FOR THEIR MYOPIC VIEWS. Please, just continue making your well thought out decisions.

Idaytesj29:
Hello my people, I am so happy to find this lounge even though I have been on nairaland for a while.

I am an introvert, no questions about that. As a guy in early 30s, I have never asked more than 3 girls out for a relationship and I had never slept with more than 2 ladies, my wife and one other. It became so strong that my parents were considering matchmaking me, but I surprised them after I introduced my fiancee now wife to them.

I have a very brilliant mind, I enjoy being alone, indoors, not too much people around, have very small circle of friends and after school time, we are hundreds of kilometres or nautical miles apart now
I enjoy watching TVs alone, playing indoor games or video games.

But, I have a problem. Some people tend to think I am stupid or mumu cos I don't talk much and if I am not very close to you, I cant be free around you.

How do I make people see me as not mumu cos I don't talk or talk much?

How do I make them respect my decision or if I have not acted on something, not because I am dumb, actually most times its because I am intelligently considering major angle that they are too fast to think about or they had rushed their decisions and as a result overlooked or missed vital point especially at work.

How do I change their outlook?

This is because it has to do with work, if not as an introvert, I don't think I care much.

elguaje:
well, settling in a new environment is hard enough for us and not being surrounded by those people who understand you doesn't help. Kind of situation I'm in.

Idaytesj29:
I have a very brilliant mind, I enjoy being alone, indoors, not too much people around, have very small circle of friends and after school time, we are hundreds of kilometres or nautical miles apart now
I enjoy watching TVs alone, playing indoor games or video games.

But, I have a problem. Some people tend to think I am stupid or mumu cos I don't talk much and if I am not very close to you, I cant be free around you.

How do I make people see me as not mumu cos I don't talk or talk much?

How do I make them respect my decision or if I have not acted on something, not because I am dumb, actually most times its because I am intelligently considering major angle that they are too fast to think about or they had rushed their decisions and as a result overlooked or missed vital point especially at work.

How do I change their outlook?

This is because it has to do with work, if not as an introvert, I don't think I care much.

suregalluv:
This is my problem too. I had a list of phones I wanted to get but I love going for classy things. Deep down, I wanted something that will be top notch so I kept on changing phones but my friends felt I was being indecisive, I ain't being serious and they shouldn't mind me, bla bla bla, especially when I made the decision of selling my phone towards exams period. I felt really bad. I've decided to keep mute over the whole issue because I can't continue explaining everything to people who don't understand me and are not willing to.

Idaytesj29:
I tell you, they just feel like they can validate or condemn my decisions for me. Like, why do you do this like that? Can't you do it like this etc

I will like, for real? Are you trying to tell I am dumb? What do you know that I don't know? What is your level of education that I can't match or even surpass? Etc


Its just feels tough on me a times, what I have to face to be who I am.

suregalluv:
At a point I can't "correct" them because it will lead to an argument so I just tend to keep it to myself or find those with like minds. Or i rather not reply some "insults" because it'll make me angry. It's just tiring. I'm glad I found this platform

Lukasman:
I've found my home. Good to be here...

suregalluv:
This is my problem too. I had a list of phones I wanted to get but I love going for classy things. Deep down, I wanted something that will be top notch so I kept on changing phones but my friends felt I was being indecisive, I ain't being serious and they shouldn't mind me, bla bla bla, especially when I made the decision of selling my phone towards exams period. I felt really bad. I've decided to keep mute over the whole issue because I can't continue explaining everything to people who don't understand me and are not willing to.

Rukkydelta:
Hi guys
It's been a while. I missed this thread
As the day goes by I am becoming more introverted. About two years back I decided to come out of my shell and start making more friends but then I realise people are not who they say they are. A male friend I made them wanted to use me (him and his friends). The female I was getting close to was too loud and I wasn't cut for her lifestyle.
Right now I can only point two persons as friends I have physically, most of my friends are online and we get along so well. Even when I have issues or need someone to talk to my online friends are so caring and always there
Maybe is because I am yet to see them physically that's why they are so cool to me

I have lost the passion of making friends physically because I realise that most people try to take advantage of quiet and gentle people