.

starbuck:




Like poles repels, unlike poles attract..... He can't be an introvert and at the same time go for an introverted lady..

Don't apply the Laws of Physics to relationships

VICTOR4LYF:

Don't apply the Laws of Physics to relationships

I agree with you. The opposite of the law applys to relationship, like poles attract and vice versa. Remember "God will provide a help meet like him"

femora007:
I agree with you. The opposite of the law applys to relationship, like poles attract and vice versa. Remember "God will provide a help meet like him"

Thanks for understanding

October 1st and I found myself engrossed in a series of deep thinking.

wasn't thinking about Nigeria. Stopped that stuff a long time ago.

For all I care, this hogwash called a country can end up in a hell whole and I ain't gon flinch!

My mind was focused on something entirely different. Something that has been bothering me.

7 months ago, I saw a psychologist. No one knew.

The therapist, whom I presume should be in her mid thirties, was surprised to see me...

She didn't hesitate to jump in "we usually don't get a lot of Nigerian patients"

Yeah, the session was online. A friend of mine from SA whom I met via Facebook recommended a website where you can book a session with a therapist and y'all can talk via Skype.

Cool stuff. Lil expensive though.

For the first time, I did the talking and someone listened. It's usually the reverse since most of the time, I just hate talking. and I allow the other person talk while I completely zone out.

Sometimes, I'm Like... Can the world just shut the f up for some sec?

So basically, I have issues. I knew I had issues. Just didn't know how to deal. Needed someone to talk to.

The last therapist I met in Nigeria was a complete hogwash! Dude gave me a bunch of religious bullcraps and asked me to trust heaven !

Dude wtffff?

Like, if I needed some guy to give me advice on connecting with heaven, I'd go to a church. And I wouldn't have to pay for it.

Well, that aside.

After seeing this current pychologist, I felt good. A bit. She listened and didn't judge or try to solve my problems.

She just listened and allowed my mouth voice out the thoughts of my complex mind.

We spoke about everything... or at least I wish we did. But poor internet connection and time limitations proved to be a spoiler!

But we managed to talk about some stuff. Like....

How terrified I am to fall in love cause I'm horrified by the thoughts of being vulnerable.

How I push everyone that tries to get close cause I've got too many insecurities that I don't want people to know about.

How messed up my mind can be. I can take a thought and ruminate on it for hours. Wondering why I'm so different. Why does being alone feels so good? Why do I withdraw from attention? Why do I hate the colour white and basically resent conventional wisdom and disagree to widely accepted philosophy.

My days are filled with series of thinking. I fantasize about disappearing to somewhere devoid of people. Just me, a book, and some nice music.

I'm weird. I know. Depressed? maybe. But I've been like this for as long as I can remember.

What kills me the most is being fake. I preach realism but I consider myself fake as hell.

I'm angry inside but I fake a smile... I pass compliment to a young lady even when I feel she's as ugly as a pig's ass!

I just don't wanna hurt people. But it kills me... That I can't just express my raw opinions. But people love this version of me. The one who's outwardly lively but dead inside.

I tell myself I don't care about what people think about me, but is that really true?

I had a tiny disagreement with a colleague and I spent the entire night hoping she doesn't spread malicious talks about me that might make people hate me (cause everyone thinks I'm a great guy).

I just wanna be free and tell everyone to go fuq themselves...

Will I ever find this version of me?
The one who can comfortably wear my insecurities without a mask?

I'm currently searching..


Happy independence Day... whatever the fff that means to you.

Vibesking:
October 1st and I found myself engrossed in a series of deep thinking.

wasn't thinking about Nigeria. Stopped that stuff a long time ago.

For all I care, this hogwash called a country can end up in a hell whole and I ain't gon flinch!

My mind was focused on something entirely different. Something that has been bothering me.

7 months ago, I saw a psychologist. No one knew.

The therapist, whom I presume should be in her mid thirties, was surprised to see me...

She didn't hesitate to jump in "we usually don't get a lot of Nigerian patients"

Yeah, the session was online. A friend of mine from SA whom I met via Facebook recommended a website where you can book a session with a therapist and y'all can talk via Skype.

Cool stuff. Lil expensive though.

For the first time, I did the talking and someone listened. It's usually the reverse since most of the time, I just hate talking. and I allow the other person talk while I completely zone out.

Sometimes, I'm Like... Can the world just shut the f up for some sec?

So basically, I have issues. I knew I had issues. Just didn't know how to deal. Needed someone to talk to.

The last therapist I met in Nigeria was a complete hogwash! Dude gave me a bunch of religious bullcraps and asked me to trust heaven !

Dude wtffff?

Like, if I needed some guy to give me advice on connecting with heaven, I'd go to a church. And I wouldn't have to pay for it.

Well, that aside.

After seeing this current pychologist, I felt good. A bit. She listened and didn't judge or try to solve my problems.

She just listened and allowed my mouth voice out the thoughts of my complex mind.

We spoke about everything... or at least I wish we did. But poor internet connection and time limitations proved to be a spoiler!

But we managed to talk about some stuff. Like....

How terrified I am to fall in love cause I'm horrified by the thoughts of being vulnerable.

How I push everyone that tries to get close cause I've got too many insecurities that I don't want people to know about.

How messed up my mind can be. I can take a thought and ruminate on it for hours. Wondering why I'm so different. Why does being alone feels so good? Why do I withdraw from attention? Why do I hate the colour white and basically resent conventional wisdom and disagree to widely accepted philosophy.

My days are filled with series of thinking. I fantasize about disappearing to somewhere devoid of people. Just me, a book, and some nice music.

I'm weird. I know. Depressed? maybe. But I've been like this for as long as I can remember.

What kills me the most is being fake. I preach realism but I consider myself fake as hell.

I'm angry inside but I fake a smile... I pass compliment to a young lady even when I feel she's as ugly as a pig's ass!

I just don't wanna hurt people. But it kills me... That I can't just express my raw opinions. But people love this version of me. The one who's outwardly lively but dead inside.

I tell myself I don't care about what people think about me, but is that really true?

I had a tiny disagreement with a colleague and I spent the entire night hoping she doesn't spread malicious talks about me that might make people hate me (cause everyone thinks I'm a great guy).

I just wanna be free and tell everyone to go fuq themselves...

Will I ever find this version of me?
The one who can comfortably wear my insecurities without a mask?

I'm currently searching..


Happy independence Day... whatever the fff that means to you.

You already have the solution in your write up.

Tell everyone to go fuq themselves and that you are going to get that thought out of your head as words.

Express your individuality by having opinions on people and things.

lastly, embrace your darkside

Vibesking:
October 1st and I found myself engrossed in a series of deep thinking.

wasn't thinking about Nigeria. Stopped that stuff a long time ago.

For all I care, this hogwash called a country can end up in a hell whole and I ain't gon flinch!

My mind was focused on something entirely different. Something that has been bothering me.

7 months ago, I saw a psychologist. No one knew.

The therapist, whom I presume should be in her mid thirties, was surprised to see me...

She didn't hesitate to jump in "we usually don't get a lot of Nigerian patients"

Yeah, the session was online. A friend of mine from SA whom I met via Facebook recommended a website where you can book a session with a therapist and y'all can talk via Skype.

Cool stuff. Lil expensive though.

For the first time, I did the talking and someone listened. It's usually the reverse since most of the time, I just hate talking. and I allow the other person talk while I completely zone out.

Sometimes, I'm Like... Can the world just shut the f up for some sec?

So basically, I have issues. I knew I had issues. Just didn't know how to deal. Needed someone to talk to.

The last therapist I met in Nigeria was a complete hogwash! Dude gave me a bunch of religious bullcraps and asked me to trust heaven !

Dude wtffff?

Like, if I needed some guy to give me advice on connecting with heaven, I'd go to a church. And I wouldn't have to pay for it.

Well, that aside.

After seeing this current pychologist, I felt good. A bit. She listened and didn't judge or try to solve my problems.

She just listened and allowed my mouth voice out the thoughts of my complex mind.

We spoke about everything... or at least I wish we did. But poor internet connection and time limitations proved to be a spoiler!

But we managed to talk about some stuff. Like....

How terrified I am to fall in love cause I'm horrified by the thoughts of being vulnerable.

How I push everyone that tries to get close cause I've got too many insecurities that I don't want people to know about.

How messed up my mind can be. I can take a thought and ruminate on it for hours. Wondering why I'm so different. Why does being alone feels so good? Why do I withdraw from attention? Why do I hate the colour white and basically resent conventional wisdom and disagree to widely accepted philosophy.

My days are filled with series of thinking. I fantasize about disappearing to somewhere devoid of people. Just me, a book, and some nice music.

I'm weird. I know. Depressed? maybe. But I've been like this for as long as I can remember.

What kills me the most is being fake. I preach realism but I consider myself fake as hell.

I'm angry inside but I fake a smile... I pass compliment to a young lady even when I feel she's as ugly as a pig's ass!

I just don't wanna hurt people. But it kills me... That I can't just express my raw opinions. But people love this version of me. The one who's outwardly lively but dead inside.

I tell myself I don't care about what people think about me, but is that really true?

I had a tiny disagreement with a colleague and I spent the entire night hoping she doesn't spread malicious talks about me that might make people hate me (cause everyone thinks I'm a great guy).

I just wanna be free and tell everyone to go fuq themselves...

Will I ever find this version of me?
The one who can comfortably wear my insecurities without a mask?

I'm currently searching..


Happy independence Day... whatever the fff that means to you.

wow bro
This is so me..

Ajoboss:
wow bro
This is so me..

Good to know.
It often feels you're the only one going through this stuff.

Vibesking:


Good to know.
It often feels you're the only one going through this stuff.

bro..is there any way we could talk

Are u on WhatsApp?

Vibesking:

I'm the kinda guy that'll rather take a bullet than come out in front of the class to "say a little about myself."

For many years I tried to deny who I really am. I'm an introvert. I hate crowd. I detest small talks. I just wanna be on my own.

I question everything. I question life. I question God. I question reality. I question myself. My mind runs wild and I tend to overthink things.

I'm a typical misfit. You can't associate me with a group. I'm a one man army pointing my own gun to my own head.

I feel people don't understand me, but I can't blame them. I don't even fully understand myself.

I'm an outcast. I like strange things. My favourite colour is black and I put it on everyday.

‌To me, black is not just a colour, its an expression. It represents what I feel inside–void. formless. empty. Lost. Calm. Peace. Chaos.

Black is our color. ... introverts are more into warm colors like Red and Black. I always used to think, as to why is this the case.

Reading all these comments here makes feel I'm not alone in this world. What a great feeling it is!

And I am wearing black. I wore it yesterday and day before. Never thought how that came to be. It's simply weird!

Introversion is the best thing that ever happenend to me but mood swing is the enemy, if only I can fight it off...I would be so much better

Ajoboss:
bro..is there any way we could talk

Are u on WhatsApp?

Yeah.
Drop your contact. I'll beep you.

elguaje:
Introversion is the best thing that ever happenend to me but mood swing is the enemy, if only I can fight it off...I would be so much better

You could listen to music.
Rap that speak about life is therapy for me.

babtoundey:
And I am wearing black.
I wore it yesterday and day before.
Never thought how that came to be.
It's simply weird!

I wear black every freaking everyday!
I basically dress the same way daily.

Black shirt...black cap... Black trousers... Black wristband and watches... Black shoe.

Some had the decency to ask if I was mourning.. and others just presumed I was a cultist.

I've thoughts about painting my room black a couple of times... Buh nah... That'll ruin the lightings in my room. Plus that'll be next level weird shii.

Vibesking:


Yeah.
Drop your contact. I'll beep you.

08107636617
Thanks

Vibesking:


You could listen to music.
Rap that speak about life is therapy for me.

Thanks

Vibesking:


I wear black every freaking everyday!
I basically dress the same way daily.

Black shirt...black cap... Black trousers... Black wristband and watches... Black shoe.

Some had the decency to ask if I was mourning.. and others just presumed I was a cultist.

I've thoughts about painting my room black a couple of times... Buh nah... That'll ruin the lightings in my room. Plus that'll be next level weird shii.

Lol I can relate. As crazy as it sound I prefer black skin girls

elguaje:
Introversion is the best thing that ever happenend to me but mood swing is the enemy, if only I can fight it off...I would be so much better

Are these smooth wave shifts between happiness and sadness or jerky alterations between hypersensitivity and dulling/coldness?

Probz:


Are these smooth wave shifts between happiness and sadness or jerky alterations between hypersensitivity and dulling/coldness?

Shifts between happiness and sadness.
I kinda care a lot. Shits gets to me easily.

elguaje:
Introversion is the best thing that ever happenend to me but mood swing is the enemy, if only I can fight it off...I would be so much better

same here

Though for the past few years I've been able to keep it under control

But for like 6 months ago I've totally lost that control over it that it swings from being happy to sad, depressed, dejected, even angry and weak Without a single reason to back it up

I feel like as introverts we subconsciously judge ourselves based on societal expectations on how people should be. Which leads to thoughts of being not enough and ripples into depressive thoughts. I think it's when you fundamentally feel there's a problem that want to control it.

Hey you! You're not a problem, you don't need to control anything.

Please be easy on yourself, the world already judges you. There's nothing wrong with having low moments, It's fine to have moments of sadness, it's fine to not be outspoken.

We should try to do things that make us feel great about ourselves. God knows, you're not alone or weird. You're beautiful or handsome

For so long I've craved for approval. I just wanted to make people happy. I convinced myself that I went the extra mile for others out of sheer goodwill.

But recently, I got real with myself. And realised that all my efforts was just to make people like me; cause I didn't really like myself.

Selfish? Maybe. But you ain't gon deny that there's a part of you that craves acceptance. I guess you're just as messed up.

That aside.

Prior to this epiphany...

I noticed that people really do not care about what you do for them. People only care about themselves.

If screwing you up serves their interest, it doesn't matter how much you've sacrificed for them, they'd run you over a thousand times!

I also noticed that people only like who they wanna like. Can't explain the concept behind this. But it's natural.

So I tell myself, stop trying too hard. Stop caring.

I've tried too hard in the past to be a likable person, but these people do not even send me a text on my birthday.

I tell myself I don't care. But that's a lie. Deep inside, I know that these things get to me.

A part of me wanna tell the world... Fuqq you! Another part wanna get a thumbs up.

So I'm left confused. The real me wanna unleash itself, but the real me lacks courage to be itself.

So I go about daily... Wearing a mask. Faking my smiles, hiding my anger.

I'm not depressed. I'm just tryna find myself.

I'll like to recommend a book which I think contributed to my very good esteem of myself even though I'm an introvert- attitude is everything

Reading it, you'll understand that you should not weigh yourself by circumstances you cannot control eg someone treating you awfully even though you were kind or a partner cheating on you.

As introverts, most times our actions tend to well thought out and are often good, meaning by default we're enough but it's when we begin to judge other people's reactions toward us that doubts creep in. Essentially, we're prone to empowering the weakness of other to control us eg Someone is insulting and we think it's our fault or someone isn't interested in us and we feel we're not good enough. And rightly so as it's our nature to overanalyze things, we're thorough like that.

Make it conscious to first decide how much impact and control you had in this outcome because it'll be unkind to yourself if someone else make most of the decisions and you're beating yourself up. Try this and I believe you'll have less worry

I think we find it difficult making friends too..I need new friends..pm me if it's not too much stress because I understand how hard getting to know new people can be.

raydatluvs:
I'll like to recommend a book which I think contributed to my very good esteem of myself even though I'm an introvert- attitude is everything

Reading it, you'll understand that you should not weigh yourself by circumstances you cannot control eg someone treating you awfully even though you were kind or a partner cheating on you.

As introverts, most times our actions tend to well thought out and are often good, meaning by default we're enough but it's when we begin to judge other people's reactions toward us that doubts creep in. Someone is insulting and we think it's our fault or someone isn't interested in us and we feel we're not good enough. And rightly so as it's our nature to overanalyze things, we're thorough like that.

Make it conscious to first decide how much impact and control you had in this outcome because it'll be unkind to yourself if someone else make most of the decisions and you're beating yourself up. Try this and I believe you'll have less worry

I like ur write up which inspired me. Pls if u dont mind u can pm me, i wld ve called u but i dont ve ur no. Thanks. Email is arogdamola@yahoo.com

strangeworld:


I like ur write up which inspired me. Pls if u dont mind u can pm me, i wld ve called u but i dont ve ur no. Thanks. Email is arogdamola@yahoo.com

I'm just happy to share my thoughts about our inbuilt awesomeness. I have replied on both occasions with my number, reach out to me. Cheers

Source: introvertdear.com

when I was 16, my first and only kiss was with a boy who lived in a different state. I admit I initially enjoyed the unwonted attention, but looking back, I knew something didn’t jive. I was nervous, awkward, and unsure, and he — in his cocky, teenage boy self — just seemed content that a girl let him kiss her. Needless to say, our “love affair” came to an abrupt halt two weeks later when I went home and he said something uncomfortably risqué to me over the phone.

While there were plenty of crushes, my feelings were rarely (if ever) reciprocated. Maybe you can relate. I don’t believe I was ever the type of girl guys showed interest in. In school, I was the reject; the quiet, shy, weird kid who either hung out with other weird kids or sat alone in a corner reading. I developed rather quickly, as well, which made me fodder for bullies and added to my heightened body insecurities and reclusiveness.

Although I’ve since learned there are plenty of reasons to celebrate being an introvert, when I was younger, it certainly seemed to hold me back in the love department.

Today, I admit that I am 30 years old and have never been in a real relationship. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with this fact per se, as there are plenty of introverts who simply prefer to do life on their own terms.

Nevertheless, I personally crave a romantic companion — but there are a few things I wish my future partner knew in advance about dating an introvert like me.

A Letter to My Future Partner
1. I’m only interested in a serious, long-term, committed relationship.
I can’t speak for every introvert, as I’m sure there are some who don’t mind casual flings or one-night stands; but I desire a long-term, serious relationship. Perhaps my longing for a stable relationship stems from knowing it takes time for me to open myself up to others, or simply wanting someone by my side — a life-long soulmate — to help me feel braver while navigating the world. Either way, that means casual or serial daters need not apply.

It’s perfectly fine if you’re someone who prefers playing the field and isn’t open to being in a committed relationship, but I’d rather be made aware of that from the get-go because we won’t be a good match otherwise. I don’t expect to discuss marriage and kids on a first date, nor do we need to do so months in. However, I desire a life partner, and I would prefer to be with someone who’s seeking one as well.

Perhaps I read too many fairy tales and romance novels, but as an introvert, I’ve spent ample time in my singledom considering my future and what or who will make me happy. I’ve imagined a particular future for myself — a “tomorrow” I believe looks pretty awesome — and should you want to share it with me, I’ll fit you into the vision I’ve created for myself.
Source: introvertdear

3. There’s a lot going on in my head, so I’ll need your support.
Like many people, one of my biggest fears is being rejected. This has caused me to approach family, friendships, and acquaintances with caution. I also have a lot of anxiety, particularly when it comes to big life changes and socializing with people I don’t know. If you’re an introvert like me, maybe you’ll understand where I’m coming from… or, if you’re an extrovert, maybe you won’t. Either way, I ask that you take some time to listen to what I’m saying, even when I’m not inclined to talking.

It’s rare that I’m a conversation-starter, and because I’m not always forthcoming with my thoughts or feelings, perhaps you can pick up on the gestural cues I’m exhibiting. Are my hands shaking? I’m nervous. Am I starting to look faint? I’m probably overstimulated or stressed. Do I stutter when I speak? Do I make myself small? Am I withdrawn? I guarantee you there is a lot going on in my head at all times, and I’ll be looking to you for balance and support.

Our communication should never be one-sided, though, and just because I’m an introvert doesn’t mean I’m mute. Be open and honest with me because I love listening, advising, and discussing interesting topics in return. In fact, I’m more apt to be candid while in meaningful conversation with you where we can discuss who you are and the life events that shaped you.

It’s in those moments I’m reminded that I’m not alone in my worries and uncertainties, and that I somehow fit into the aspirations and goals you have for yourself as well. The harder we work to build mutual trust and communication, the more likely our relationship will endure long-term.
Source: introvertdear