Ftheophilous:


Don't generalize bro. Nairalanders are very sensitive to issues regarding depression, it just depends on how you present it as well as in which section of nairaland you do. Meanwhile, the person feeling depressed is yet to talk about the cause of his depression.

Depression, from my experience, comes when one fails to achieve something or when things don't go the way you expect them to; ranging, but not limited to, health, academics, relationship, family, finance, social identification, et cetera. Thus, there is gainsaying in the idea that depression is attributed to one's personality. Having said that, the role of one's personality here is to control the extent to which one can manipulate his emotions.

The period of depression is like that of a roving tempest that ravages you emotionally leaving you spent out. Everything happening during that period is caused by the thoughts in your head. More like you are allowing yourself to get sucked in by those thoughts created by your brain. Rather than trying to fight off these feelings, in my case, I allow them overwhelm me by creating the setting and the things needed to enable me get back up - positive thinking. Positive thinking here is not that in the abstract sense, but the fact that that period is a fizz that will blow off eventually. The truth is that you cannot really fight off or hold off a tempest, you can only lay low while it roves around.

There is always peace and calm after a horrid wind and that is the after state of depression. The post depression state is that of revitalization, understanding, enlightenment, acceptance and moving on. It does not help when one wallows in frustration and self pity with the thought that all hope is lost. As long as there is life there is something to live for, you just have to find..no...choose it.

nairalanders are not sensitive to anything.

Rubbiish:

Lol
This guy is always making me laff

you can see here that someone is saying my situation is making him laugh.

Introversion is so useless

Good morning everyone. I'm an introvert and i'm glad i found this place.

Now a sneak peek into my introversion. I'm sorry but i do not have the amazing writing prowess most introverts possess so please bear with me

I don't know how to make friends and i think the last time i ever had a friend was in secondary school .Now this is usually not an issue most times but sometime it just hits me so hard i'm almost depressed now this is coming from someone who always wishes for a meteor to land on earth again and wipe out everyone so i can finally stay in a quiet world for once but since i'm not selfish i also eventually die after about an hour so sometimes its weird for me switching from these two emotions

I get bored easily and i'm generally lazy about everything that does not interest me(Reason why i stopped going to classes after first year and i guess dropped out of school since i eventually missed all my exams in second year .But i guess i was smart enough to apply for another course i was interested in so i'm not exactly a drop out . In both courses no one knows my name i've always just been referred to as "Guy" i guess i don't stand out at all.

Relationship wise, i have never been in a relationship, don't know how to talk to girls and people think i'm proud(i honestly don't have anything to be proud of yet )

I really do want to be more social , be able to talk in crowds and just let people know that i have a really fun side but at the end of the day i still can't do it.

Don't understand why people always think introverts are proud.


There is this coursemate of mine, he is an introvert and due to his behavior a lot of people think he is a proud guy which I know he is not.

He told me about his situation and need advice on how to relate with people, don't know what to tell him. His nature is really disturbing.

So house how do I advice the guy.

Replying to the two posts above. Trying to make people like you is a waste of precious time and really stressful, because at the end of the day you wouldn't know who you are anymore and certainly would not be comfortable with who you are trying to be for them.

Instead, do the things you do best that will make people want to know your person. Building up a relationship, especially in an academic environment is very easy especially if you are the rather brilliant type as people will want to be closer to you(particularly girls). Otherwise, form a relationship with someone that you can easily relate with as there is usually that person in a social group who is quite sensitive and amiable.

We had a direct entry student in my sophomore year in the Uni who was kind of shy with strangers and felt somewhat out of place. I helped in his transition to becoming a full fledged member of our group, and he later became the most radical and paroxysmal person in my class and people liked him. Having someone else ease the tension can be very helpful.

Truthfully, there are levels of introversion. Some people are so in their shell that even you as an introvert will notice. But in the midst of friendly faces you would be very very surprised at their crazy nature. For introverts, because we are more substantive, it takes time to become closer to people. The best thing to do is to recognise a catalyst that hastens this process rather than trying hard to please people.

The more you meet people, the easier it becomes in understanding how to behave in a social setting. Sitting enclosed in your shell will do nothing but create more space where you fall deeper in to your loneliness.

Evey write up I make here reflects my experience hitherto. Although I can call myself an introvert, I'm definitely not a shy person. Some people are really very shy but that should not be mistaken for introversion. Introverts are people who tend to keep their thoughts to themselves while a shy person is naturally timid, fearful, apprehensive, fidgety and easily embarrassed; but this is not always inherently associated with introversion.

That your friend may just need a person to bridge the gap between he and your course mates. Best way to go about this is to introduce him in every discussion while pointing out his good qualities. i.e. he might be a talkative, a funny or smart person or any other thing interesting about his personality, and this will create a platform where he and your course mates can easily interact.

JacksonMS:
you can see here that someone is saying my situation is making him laugh.

Introversion is so useless

I am an introvert too

Kurtis02:
Don't understand why people always think introverts are proud.


There is this coursemate of mine, he is an introvert and due to his behavior a lot of people think he is a proud guy which I know he is not.

He told me about his situation and need advice on how to relate with people, don't know what to tell him. His nature is really disturbing.

So house how do I advice the guy.

The only way out for your guy is to force himself to join a church group with few persons preferably. He will begin to take up small roles like leading prayers, contributing during meetings. From this small group he will move to a larger group, after which he can now begin to relate freely well with people.

He should also try to talk to opposite sex, this is very important, he should force himself to discuss issues with opposite sex to break out of that shell. I know he doesn't have a girlfriend. Because he can't talk to girls if he is unable to relate with people. It is important for him to do all the above now that he is still young. He can't break out from his shell alone, he needs to join a group & relate with opposite sex. When he becomes comfortable doing these, then is problem his half solved.

Cc Martinsville
The above same advice goes for u

Ftheophilous:


The more you meet people, the easier it becomes in understanding how to behave in a social setting. Sitting enclosed in your shell will do nothing but create more space where you fall deeper in to your loneliness.

The above write up sums it all
As an introvert, u MUST force yourself to go out, just to have that knowledge of living in a social environment.

Rubbiish:

I am an introvert too

I know but why are you saying I sound funny?

Rubbiish:

The above write up sums it all
As an introvert, u MUST force yourself to go out, just to have that knowledge of living in a social environment.

I have tried forcing myself before but it led to public disgrace

JacksonMS:
I have tried forcing myself before but it led to public disgrace

The idea is not to force it but ease into it.

Go at your own pace by starting with small baby steps before you start the long trek.

Get involved not because of the pressure of doing so but because you want to really experience something new.

Sincerely there is no scripted manner of behaving in public. You just have to understand your audience and go with the pace albeit slowly.

Martinsville:
Good morning everyone. I'm an introvert and i'm glad i found this place.

Now a sneak peek into my introversion. I'm sorry but i do not have the amazing writing prowess most introverts possess so please bear with me

I don't know how to make friends and i think the last time i ever had a friend was in secondary school .Now this is usually not an issue most times but sometime it just hits me so hard i'm almost depressed now this is coming from someone who always wishes for a meteor to land on earth again and wipe out everyone so i can finally stay in a quiet world for once but since i'm not selfish i also eventually die after about an hour so sometimes its weird for me switching from these two emotions

I get bored easily and i'm generally lazy about everything that does not interest me(Reason why i stopped going to classes after first year and i guess dropped out of school since i eventually missed all my exams in second year .But i guess i was smart enough to apply for another course i was interested in so i'm not exactly a drop out . In both courses no one knows my name i've always just been referred to as "Guy" i guess i don't stand out at all.

Relationship wise, i have never been in a relationship, don't know how to talk to girls and people think i'm proud(i honestly don't have anything to be proud of yet )

I really do want to be more social , be able to talk in crowds and just let people know that i have a really fun side but at the end of the day i still can't do it.

It's funny how y'all start with "sorry, I don't know how to write" then go ahead to write like a seasoned professional.

Anyway, let's get to the crux of the matter. The way most of us introverts look at social interaction is all shades of wrong.

I'm saying this because of your meteor striking the earth leaving you a sole survivor fantasies. I also noticed earlier on the thread someone wished he could tell the world to shut up for a minute.

While wanting a little quiet in your life is not a big deal, it's something all introverts strive for, but having radical thoughts like the ones above is so problematic it borders on nihilism.

Instead of thinking the world is making noise or engaging in pointless talk, think of such interactions as a social transaction where there is a give and take relationship and everyone partaking comes off richer with each contact.

It's through these dialogues that trust is built, relationships are formed and ideas brought to life. So if you want to succeed in this life and make your existence less miserable, you have no option than to play the game.

At core of every human is desire to be loved and respected. This cannot be achieved without social interaction and as introverts, we don't know how to reconcile that. I guess that's why some of you here battle depression.

That, however, isn't the end of the world. You can train yourself to blend in social situations and make friends and even find love. It all begins with voluntary exposure to social situations you previously find discomforting.

For example, start with familiar group class and church activities then proceed to recreational activities you're passionate about like sports etc

Once you have familiarised yourself with the environment, proceed to strike conversation with one or two people. This should be easy as you share a common interest and the conversation can be superficial, nothing deep.

How to have conversation that isn't boring

1. Don't ask close ended questions ie questions with a yes or no answer.

2. Stop thinking about what you'll say next and instead pay close attention to what they're saying.

3. If you were attentive to what they said, you'll be properly armed with what to respond. What they say can be used to continue the topic or branch into other topics.

4. Show genuine care about what they say and try to remember it so next time it's easy to talk to them.

Gradual and voluntary exposure to those things you fear most is the cure to your social anxiety. Often you'll find out they're not what you thought them to be and you'll be braver when faced with same situations in the future.

NB I absolutely love the fact you were able to to take charge of your life by abandoning the course you didn't have passion for. I also find myself feeling lazy about stuff I don't care about. That's normal

Xzbit91:


It's funny how y'all start with "sorry, I don't know how to write" then go ahead to write like a seasoned professional.

Anyway, let's get to the crux of the matter. The way most of us introverts look at social interaction is all shades of wrong.

I'm saying this because of your meteor striking the earth leaving you a sole survivor fantasies. I also noticed earlier on the thread someone wished he could tell the world to shut up for a minute.

While wanting a little quiet in your life is not a big deal, it's something all introverts strive for, but having radical thoughts like the ones above is so problematic it borders on nihilism.

Instead of thinking the world is making noise or engaging in pointless talk, think of such interactions as a social transaction where there is a give and take relationship and everyone partaking comes off richer with each contact.

It's through these dialogues that trust is built, relationships are formed and ideas brought to life. So if you want to succeed in this life and make your existence less miserable, you have no option than to play the game.

At core of every human is desire to be loved and respected. This cannot be achieved without social interaction and as introverts, we don't know how to reconcile that. I guess that's why some of you here battle depression.

That, however, isn't the end of the world. You can train yourself to blend in social situations and make friends and even find love. It all begins with voluntary exposure to social situations you previously find discomforting.

For example, start with familiar group class and church activities then proceed to recreational activities you're passionate about like sports etc

Once you have familiarised yourself with the environment, proceed to strike conversation with one or two people. This should be easy as you share a common interest and the conversation can be superficial, nothing deep.

How to have conversation that isn't boring

1. Don't ask close ended questions ie questions with a yes or no answer.

2. Stop thinking about what you'll say next and instead pay close attention to what they're saying.

3. If you were attentive to what they said, you'll be properly armed with what to respond. What they say can be used to continue the topic or branch into other topics.

4. Show genuine care about what they say and try to remember it so next time it's easy to talk to them.

Gradual and voluntary exposure to those things you fear most is the cure to your social anxiety. Often you'll find out they're not what you thought them to be and you'll be braver when faced with same situations in the future.

NB I absolutely love the fact you were able to to take charge of your life by abandoning the course you didn't have passion for. I also find myself feeling lazy about stuff I don't care about. That's normal

great!

Jobia:
great!

I'm happy you could find value in my post

I have an amazing girlfriend. We've been dating for two months now.

But right now, there's nothing I want more in life than being single again.

Having a serious problem getting a Job because of my nature. Most people I know, which is quite a few got theirs through networking and referrals. I have no one. I've only been contact three times for interviews all in distant locations and I don't even bother going because of that. Introversion is worse when you're done with school, NYSC and anything that forces you to be in crowded places. When you are alone being a job seeker or even trying venturing in a business. It just get you at the neck. Never thought the ripple effect of being an introvert would come hard on me like this.

Vibesking:
I have an amazing girlfriend. We've been dating for two months now.

But right now, there's nothing I want more in life than being single again.

I can relate to this. I stay away from relationships for two reasons.
I don't have the finance to back it up currently.
It takes away my solitude due to women being too demanding for attention and all that.
I sometimes like to go days without reaching out to anyone.
When you're in a relationship, try that and it's war.
Man!!

Drizzle007:


I can relate to this. I stay away from relationships for two reasons.
I don't have the finance to back it up currently.
It takes away my solitude due to women being too demanding for attention and all that.
I sometimes like to go days without reaching out to anyone.
When you're in a relationship, try that and it's war.
Man!!

Honestly, it's work!

To all the singles out there... Enjoy your peace. You're not missing out on anything.

Drizzle007:
Having a serious problem getting a Job because of my nature. Most people I know, which is quite a few got theirs through networking and referrals. I have no one. I've only been contact three times for interviews all in distant locations and I don't even bother going because of that. Introversion is worse when you're done with school, NYSC and anything that forces you to be in crowded places. When you are alone being a job seeker or even trying venturing in a business. It just get you at the neck. Never thought the ripple effect of being an introvert would come hard on me like this.

Including me, sometimes I get tongue tied in interview and I ain't doll.

Drizzle007:
Having a serious problem getting a Job because of my nature. Most people I know, which is quite a few got theirs through networking and referrals. I have no one. I've only been contact three times for interviews all in distant locations and I don't even bother going because of that. Introversion is worse when you're done with school, NYSC and anything that forces you to be in crowded places. When you are alone being a job seeker or even trying venturing in a business. It just get you at the neck. Never thought the ripple effect of being an introvert would come hard on me like this.

I'm sorry about what you going through.
I'm a core introvert but it has never gotten In the way of my communication or proved an hindrance when situations arises that requires me to speak up.
I'm quite fluent and speaking in public, or answering questions have never been an issue.

A good prayer culture helps too . If you can talk to God, you can talk to anyone.

Good luck.

Vibesking:
I have an amazing girlfriend. We've been dating for two months now.

But right now, there's nothing I want more in life than being single again.

Just two months? Lol

Drizzle007:
Having a serious problem getting a Job because of my nature. Most people I know, which is quite a few got theirs through networking and referrals. I have no one. I've only been contact three times for interviews all in distant locations and I don't even bother going because of that. Introversion is worse when you're done with school, NYSC and anything that forces you to be in crowded places. When you are alone being a job seeker or even trying venturing in a business. It just get you at the neck. Never thought the ripple effect of being an introvert would come hard on me like this.

Please stop blaming your nature
I understand most introverts aren't perfect in certain jobs, but they are good at sedentary jobs.
Truth is there are presently no jobs in d country, if u happen to know one big man at d top, u will land a job today, regardless of your nature. Many extroverts are jobless, having alot of friends doesn't mean they will help u.

Vibesking:
I have an amazing girlfriend. We've been dating for two months now.

But right now, there's nothing I want more in life than being single again.

Does she talk too much?

I feel so many emotions at the same time but I can't even describe it.

It's like colour. You can't describe the colour blue. But when you see it, you recognise it.

My mind is complex; always ranging. Thought I've finally found peace but just like that, it's gone.

I'm beginning to hate existence all over again.

Ariza:
Does she talk too much?

She's great.
I'm the problem.

Drizzle007:
Having a serious problem getting a Job because of my nature. Most people I know, which is quite a few got theirs through networking and referrals. I have no one. I've only been contact three times for interviews all in distant locations and I don't even bother going because of that. Introversion is worse when you're done with school, NYSC and anything that forces you to be in crowded places. When you are alone being a job seeker or even trying venturing in a business. It just get you at the neck. Never thought the ripple effect of being an introvert would come hard on me like this.

Woww u kinda summed up current position.. Everyone kinda think I am being an ass by not grabbing any job yet especially teaching..lmao
But las las we be alright .. We always do

Mrpsly247:

Woww u kinda summed up current position.. Everyone kinda think I am being an ass by not grabbing any job yet especially teaching..lmao
But las las we be alright .. We always do

Amen brother
Amen.

Everyone's contributions on this thread are so apt. What about someone who is shy and introverted as well. @Ftheofilous

swtme:
Hello everyone
I just came across this post and i am really so excited
I am an introvert and also suffer from anxiety disorder and one of the symptoms is panic attack

This has not been easy because i am married with kids but the good thing is that i no longer have OCD and sleeping paralysis,thanks to the drugs given to me back then by my psychiatrist.

I have stopped seeing the psychiatrist though because i was getting addicted to the drugs and I don’t want to live my life on drugs

Please I would like to know if there’s anyone out there going through this and how they’ve been able to handle this so far

I never thought havimg sleep paralysis has anything to do with anxiety disorder, I do have in once it a while.. I met a psycoloshist some months ago and she told me I am suffering from anxiety disorder and depression cuz I was actually going through stuffs right from childhood days.. I stopped seeing the phycologist though.. wish there is a way I can overcome this. I have low self esteem, am always indoor, hardly make friends.....

Vibesking:
Messed up, I know.
Reckless, I know.
I've got a lot of shii inside been dealing on my own.

I'm my own enemy. Looking in the mirror wondering why I'm so different. Why don't I fit in? Sometimes I stare at the earth and think to my self... This is not the place I was birth.

I'm a wreck. I'm quiet but I'm wild inside. That's a part of me people don't see. They think I'm a great guy but I stare at the mirror and I can't even stand myself. I hate life but I don't wanna die cause I don't think you can do that twice.

My best times come when I'm alone. While it gives me joy, it also brings me pain. Thinking about the past... Thinking about what I said .. thinking about how I should have handled a given situation differently.

I'm just tryna be me... But when I look within myself and I don't like what I see. I'm my own enemy. I know. But even the devil loves himself but I don't love me.

I'm not depressed. I'm just tryna understand life.

Are you a rapper or a poet?

Introversion simply means keeping to oneself.
Any thing other than
that isn't Introversion.

It is a specific behavior -- one of the numerous behaviors exhibited by humans.

You're mistaking when you assert that certain behaviors and likes of yours are due to Introversion.

That you love black doesn't mean it's an "introvert thing". It's just a personal preference which anyone could have, introvert or extrovert.

If you're shy, it's not because of Introversion. You might be an extreme extrovert and still be shy. shyness is a behavior on its own. it is not peculiar to introverts. And so is any other behavior: Laziness, kindness, wickedness, greed, pride, etc. You're an introvert simply means you're keeping to yourself. Any other thing you're doing, or any thing you like, isn't as a result of Introversion. If you were an extrovert, same would still be the case.

My point? Don't generalize and associate any behavior and like with Introversion only.

Being smart is not a function of Introversion. Neither is being sensitive. Neither is being boring. etc. These are things anyone could be.

Some people might not even be natural introverts.

Most times, we may have problems. These problems may make some of us seek Introversion consciously or subconsciously.
Where most people get it wrong is that, they leave the underlying problems and start blaming Introversion. You should focus on solving the problems.
After solving those problems, if you aren't naturally disposed to Introversion, you will see your extroversion come to life. But if you're naturally disposed to Introversion, you will begin to enjoy the Introversion.


Greetings to the house

Geofavor:

Are you a rapper or a poet?

Lol.
I'm neither.