My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her - Romance (3)

My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by jesmond3945: 3:17am On Nov 19, 2019

Op I would tell you to keep 24hrs surveillance on her whatsapp and facebook. dont rush marriage till you are convinced beyond all reasonable doubt.

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by Rajman45(m): 6:34am On Nov 19, 2019

coolguy4christ:
Thank you for your advice. But she is not promiscuous, I'm almost certain of that.

And the first instance she lied, did not involve sex.

Why are u defending her and seeking for our advice on nairaland.
Bro, I believe u made up ur mind already...... Pls don't disturb us again. Thank u

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Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by ednut1(m): 6:44am On Nov 19, 2019

Rajman45:
Why are u defending her and seeking for our advice on nairaland.
Bro, I believe u made up ur mind already...... Pls don't disturb us again. Thank u

a wimp and a disgrace of a man

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by Nobody: 8:19am On Nov 19, 2019

Run fool! Gees

1 Like

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by Nobody: 8:20am On Nov 19, 2019

A girl broke up with you, and yet YOU initiated a make up because you still 'love' her? Awon good nice guys wey women dey take sweep ground. You never see anything. Love kee you there.

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Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by fergieboy: 8:21am On Nov 19, 2019*

Have you yourself confess to her when you are having sex and all your sexcapade with other ladies when you are apart

I'm with the girl in this one

She is coming out clean to you

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by ikwedim(m): 8:21am On Nov 19, 2019

Ogbeni just give her Belle before the marriage. Divert focus on your children. But as for your wife, she is only yours on bed. Marriage na scam. If you know you know

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by seanwilliam(m): 8:21am On Nov 19, 2019

Relationship these days is not by force, it is better to move out of it than to stay and enjoy emotional tortures all in the name of love..

1 Like

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by J2381: 8:21am On Nov 19, 2019*

coolguy4christ:
My girlfriend and I had issues sometime last year which eventually led to a break up. Early this year, we made up. I initiated the make up because I still loved her even though, it was she who ended the relationship.

When we started again, I told her I wanted a fresh start and that she should come out clean with me of whatever I need to know when we were apart. She knows how much I emphasize sincerity as I hate lies. She confided in me, that she had sex with a guy whom she dated briefly when we were apart but that she used protection. I believed her and didn't really bother myself because we were not together when it happened.

Few months later, I proposed to her and she accepted my marriage proposal. Since then, the relationship has been beautiful and we have become better as we were previously before the break up. We are actually planning our wedding in a few months.

Yesterday, she confessed to me that she had an abortion while we were apart. That she lied about using protection and that she got pregnant and aborted the baby.

Since then, I have mixed feelings for her:

Firstly, I am strongly against abortion and she knows that. Secondly, She lied to me!

The second reason is actually why I am more angry with her. She has lied to me previously and I don't know if I can believe and trust her again.

She has been very remorseful and she told me she came out clean because she wants to set everything right before we get married.

The issue here is that I don't know how can I trust her again?

she lied to you before, she can lie to you again. Learn from your experience.

2 Likes

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by colestephan86: 8:22am On Nov 19, 2019

coolguy4christ:
My girlfriend and I had issues sometime last year which eventually led to a break up. Early this year, we made up. I initiated the make up because I still loved her even though, it was she who ended the relationship.

When we started again, I told her I wanted a fresh start and that she should come out clean with me of whatever I need to know when we were apart. She knows how much I emphasize sincerity as I hate lies. She confided in me, that she had sex with a guy whom she dated briefly when we were apart but that she used protection. I believed her and didn't really bother myself because we were not together when it happened.

Few months later, I proposed to her and she accepted my marriage proposal. Since then, the relationship has been beautiful and we have become better as we were previously before the break up. We are actually planning our wedding in a few months.

Yesterday, she confessed to me that she had an abortion while we were apart. That she lied about using protection and that she got pregnant and aborted the baby.

Since then, I have mixed feelings for her:

Firstly, I am strongly against abortion and she knows that. Secondly, She lied to me!

The second reason is actually why I am more angry with her. She has lied to me previously and I don't know if I can believe and trust her again.

She has been very remorseful and she told me she came out clean because she wants to set everything right before we get married.

The issue here is that I don't know how can I trust her again?

If she had not aborted the baby , will you have proposed to her?
Sometimes keeping quiet is healthy for relationships.

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by cococandy(f): 8:22am On Nov 19, 2019

Because we are the weaker vessels. Big large vessels to store all the tears these men are shedding every minute.

YorubaPrince:
But, why is it that it's majorly guys that come on here to complain and rant abt their women?

They cry, wail and do stuff like sissies all the time. Why don't the ladies do the same on here?

WTF?

1 Like

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by kushercain: 8:23am On Nov 19, 2019

OladimejiRufai:
She lied to you before and she did it again despite that you asked her to come out clean.

Now this is what I observe.

Your fiancee may not be a bad girl or a "liar" in total sense. The fact that she even told you before marriage somehow proves that because she could have kept it from you forever.

But she is the type that will LIE to cover up mistakes from you or anyone and save herself from shame. This is the kind of person she is perceived to be.

So the question is are you ready to live with such a person?

It could happen that one of your uncles or brothers will visit your home, temptations will set in and they will have sex, she's the type that will hide it from you.

As she goes about her daily activities, she might meet a guy and have a fling with her, get pregnant and even give birth and present it as your own to save herself from shame.

It could happen that she hooks up with her ex especially after there's an unsettled misunderstanding with you, something plays after another and they have sex and may even be continually doing that but hide it from you.

I only gave those as examples based on possibility. Your fiancee might not be the prosmicuous type. But it still cannot be ruled out totally.

So you are the one who should ask yourself if you want to live with such a person as couples.

Good luck

You were making sense before you started these senseless scenarios

1 Like

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by Nobody: 8:24am On Nov 19, 2019

coolguy4christ:
I did not sleep with another girl whilst we were apart, in fact since we got back, I have not slept with her. It's a no-sex relationship.

You are dating a sexually active woman on a no-sex parole....I’m not understanding??

Please let this babe go, u are not operating on the same frequency. You sound like someone that will like to fast for 21days....she’s the type that will go and meet up with dickk appointment when u are praying for the family...
it won’t be good for you on the long run.....

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Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by TemmyT002(m): 8:25am On Nov 19, 2019

coolguy4christ:
My girlfriend and I had issues sometime last year which eventually led to a break up. Early this year, we made up. I initiated the make up because I still loved her even though, it was she who ended the relationship.

When we started again, I told her I wanted a fresh start and that she should come out clean with me of whatever I need to know when we were apart. She knows how much I emphasize sincerity as I hate lies. She confided in me, that she had sex with a guy whom she dated briefly when we were apart but that she used protection. I believed her and didn't really bother myself because we were not together when it happened.

Few months later, I proposed to her and she accepted my marriage proposal. Since then, the relationship has been beautiful and we have become better as we were previously before the break up. We are actually planning our wedding in a few months.

Yesterday, she confessed to me that she had an abortion while we were apart. That she lied about using protection and that she got pregnant and aborted the baby.

Since then, I have mixed feelings for her:

Firstly, I am strongly against abortion and she knows that. Secondly, She lied to me!

The second reason is actually why I am more angry with her. She has lied to me previously and I don't know if I can believe and trust her again.

She has been very remorseful and she told me she came out clean because she wants to set everything right before we get married.

The issue here is that I don't know how can I trust her again?

The fact that she came out clean means she really wants a new start with you.
Ask yourself: what can be worse than what she has already done?
Anyway, if you know you won't be able to handle it, better tell her now and let someone else find her.

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by BRATISLAVA: 8:26am On Nov 19, 2019

coolguy4christ:
My girlfriend and I had issues sometime last year which eventually led to a break up. Early this year, we made up. I initiated the make up because I still loved her even though, it was she who ended the relationship.

When we started again, I told her I wanted a fresh start and that she should come out clean with me of whatever I need to know when we were apart. She knows how much I emphasize sincerity as I hate lies. She confided in me, that she had sex with a guy whom she dated briefly when we were apart but that she used protection. I believed her and didn't really bother myself because we were not together when it happened.

Few months later, I proposed to her and she accepted my marriage proposal. Since then, the relationship has been beautiful and we have become better as we were previously before the break up. We are actually planning our wedding in a few months.

Yesterday, she confessed to me that she had an abortion while we were apart. That she lied about using protection and that she got pregnant and aborted the baby.

Since then, I have mixed feelings for her:

Firstly, I am strongly against abortion and she knows that. Secondly, She lied to me!

The second reason is actually why I am more angry with her. She has lied to me previously and I don't know if I can believe and trust her again.

She has been very remorseful and she told me she came out clean because she wants to set everything right before we get married.

The issue here is that I don't know how can I trust her again?

for Christ yet having pre marital sex. Why are you angry about it?

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by obailala(m): 8:27am On Nov 19, 2019

No matter how sincere and upright a person is, the subject of having unprotected sex, pregnancy and abortion is a very delicate one. For the lady to actually have the courage and honesty to disclose this to you even before marriage, heck! She's one of the top 0.001% of honest women I ever heard of and I wonder how much more sincerity you want.

99.99% of ladies would NEVER disclose that except you catch them pants down. This is the problem with the truth, people always want to know the truth but can you handle it? I would never have the courage to ask my woman how many guys she's been with cos I doubt I would be able to stomach some kind of information.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by InvertedHammer: 8:27am On Nov 19, 2019

/
Have you ever heard of "Don't ask, don't tell"?

It is because some people cannot handle the truth.

You got the honesty you desire. Can you handle it?

The first major quarrel in your marriage, this issue will come up again. The mind is very powerful.

/

9 Likes

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by tsfxtech(m): 8:28am On Nov 19, 2019

Sorry bro...

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by mployer(m): 8:29am On Nov 19, 2019

DaddyNimo:
bros please don't marry that bish, she broke up with you to test anoda dick, she got pregnant that one denied the baby, she aborted and now she wanna be honest with you and be back to you. don't be a weakling....you don't deserve to be second best in anybody's life. man up and dump her, she's mad, I'm very angry right now sef.

He didn't want sex. Babe wanted sex.

Everybody can't be the same.

2 Likes

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by Nobody: 8:30am On Nov 19, 2019

Hedonini:
A girl broke up with you, and yet YOU initiated a make up because you still 'love' her? Awon good nice guys wey women dey take sweep ground. You never see anything. Love kee you there.

The guy is one of those over gentle guy...ddnt you see where he said he has not had sex with her or any other person....the maga is running no sex relationship with a sexually active and abortion committing lady.....if that’s not stupidity, then I don’t know what is.....

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Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by 49cents(m): 8:30am On Nov 19, 2019

donchrisville:
Dude its quite a difficult scenario though. But i tell you this....in marriage trust comes first before love. you see this love shacking you guys now, give it 2 or 3 yrs in the marriage it fizzles and you guys are back to reality.
What keeps a marriage is that friendship loyalty and trust. Trust is the basis of marriage though.
If you would always weigh everything a partner tells you out of distrust, then you both are not fit to be in a relationship, talk more of marriage.\
Dude you wont be happy if you end up living that life. Theres no joy in always investigating anything your loved one tells you.

I feel maybe you can put her to a test of your own again, and check if she passes it without lying. Maybe she's changed or maybe she's not.
So put it to test

Bro as for the abortion, just forget that one, Its a mistake
without a doubt more than 60% ladies have gone through it. Either operation or drug.
If you've taken postinor before, you've committed abortion. So just move on with that...don't judge her with regards to that

Not encouraging positonor but the drugs prevents pregnancy from happening not flushing out a pregnancy

2 Likes

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by vicben27(m): 8:30am On Nov 19, 2019

you shouldn't have left her for too long before going back to her ladies are usually under pressure from different men most times they don't even know what they want. just try to forgive her and move on, for we have all sined one way or the other. you hardly find a girl who has not had abortion this days, since she still felt guilty and confessed she means well that's the important thing, love should conquer all.

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by moscow406(m): 8:31am On Nov 19, 2019

coolguy4christ:
I did not sleep with another girl whilst we were apart, in fact since we got back, I have not slept with her. It's a no-sex relationship.

It's a no sex relationship but she aborted to another person. But because of love you want to marry her, someone who said no sex to you but was willing to go unprotected for someone else.
I don't think Nairaland needs to tell you what to do.

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Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by Humility017(m): 8:31am On Nov 19, 2019

coolguy4christ:
I'm not a saint....but I wasn't sexually involved with anyone while we were apart.

please go marry her ...
you should be a Christian... and know by now...that the paramount way God speaks to His children is peace of mind as regard that particular decision..

so do you have peace as regard it.... if none please discard her....

it's like you want people to tell you what you wanna hear..... I practise non-sex relationships too...
but i can't marry a lady of this kind...it seems you're the only one that believe in sexual purity and the lady don't.
marry someone that share same values with you and you won't regret it.... the marriage walk is a long one oga

my ex did exactly same thing... she break up with me...to click to someone else...only to later wanna come back...which I refused even though I still love her.... love is not enough to make marriage or relationship work......

you have to use your head and think well

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by capitalzero: 8:31am On Nov 19, 2019

coolguy4christ:
My girlfriend and I had issues sometime last year which eventually led to a break up. Early this year, we made up. I initiated the make up because I still loved her even though, it was she who ended the relationship.

When we started again, I told her I wanted a fresh start and that she should come out clean with me of whatever I need to know when we were apart. She knows how much I emphasize sincerity as I hate lies. She confided in me, that she had sex with a guy whom she dated briefly when we were apart but that she used protection. I believed her and didn't really bother myself because we were not together when it happened.

Few months later, I proposed to her and she accepted my marriage proposal. Since then, the relationship has been beautiful and we have become better as we were previously before the break up. We are actually planning our wedding in a few months.

Yesterday, she confessed to me that she had an abortion while we were apart. That she lied about using protection and that she got pregnant and aborted the baby.

Since then, I have mixed feelings for her:

Firstly, I am strongly against abortion and she knows that. Secondly, She lied to me!

The second reason is actually why I am more angry with her. She has lied to me previously and I don't know if I can believe and trust her again.

She has been very remorseful and she told me she came out clean because she wants to set everything right before we get married.

The issue here is that I don't know how can I trust her again?

Both of you lack moral values. one of the aftermath of premarital sex is mistrust. premarital sex and marital infidelity are related. true,you cannot trust her again. yes,you cannot trust any lady again. next girl will be worst with history of multiple abortions. deal with it. you shall reap what you sow- Gal 6;7

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by cococandy(f): 8:32am On Nov 19, 2019

Maybe she broke up with you at first because she wants sex?

If you guys are really going to do the no sex relationship? Why not just go ahead and get married so you don’t keep her waiting any longer?

5 Likes

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by rosalieene(f): 8:32am On Nov 19, 2019

haven't you lied to her before

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by OluwabuqqyYOLO(m): 8:33am On Nov 19, 2019*

Gaggi:
No sex relationship with you, yet she has unprotected sex with another and you are in love. F00ls will always exist in abundance. Please take her to the alter immediately.
I think the hard core rap of the 90's we used to listen to helped shape us into men. we used the lyrics to help us through heart breaks and the way the rappers talked about women shaped our mentality. I don't understand the category of young men we have now. An embarrassment and a disgrace to real men.

Honestly, man. I'm still young oh but I listen to Eminem's old songs and I'm irritated when I see people whining about their lovers. I mean, has no one heard Kim?

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by Iamsammy(m): 8:34am On Nov 19, 2019

coolguy4christ:
She is not promiscuous, though one can only speak for one's self. I don't think that was the case at bolded. We were having recurrent arguments at the time, I myself needed a break then too, I just couldn't let go because I still loved her and wanted us to work.

and within the short period of the breakup she had abortion with another guy. Bro think

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Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by donchyke1975: 8:35am On Nov 19, 2019

Forgive and forget

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by colestephan86: 8:37am On Nov 19, 2019

coolguy4christ:
My girlfriend and I had issues sometime last year which eventually led to a break up. Early this year, we made up. I initiated the make up because I still loved her even though, it was she who ended the relationship.

When we started again, I told her I wanted a fresh start and that she should come out clean with me of whatever I need to know when we were apart. She knows how much I emphasize sincerity as I hate lies. She confided in me, that she had sex with a guy whom she dated briefly when we were apart but that she used protection. I believed her and didn't really bother myself because we were not together when it happened.

Few months later, I proposed to her and she accepted my marriage proposal. Since then, the relationship has been beautiful and we have become better as we were previously before the break up. We are actually planning our wedding in a few months.

Yesterday, she confessed to me that she had an abortion while we were apart. That she lied about using protection and that she got pregnant and aborted the baby.

Since then, I have mixed feelings for her:

Firstly, I am strongly against abortion and she knows that. Secondly, She lied to me!

The second reason is actually why I am more angry with her. She has lied to me previously and I don't know if I can believe and trust her again.

She has been very remorseful and she told me she came out clean because she wants to set everything right before we get married.

The issue here is that I don't know how can I trust her again?

See brother, don't believe all these big babies that calls themselves men on here, they are not matured enough to take care of themselves ,talk more of a girl.
You don't expect the girl to sit somewhere waiting for you to come back, the fact that you didn't have another relationship while you bother were separated doesn't mean she shouldn't.
When you see a moving car, there are loads of thing going on inside it that's making it move and that how you should see marriage and relationships, you should man up and be responsible for your girl and the relationship. Marriage isn't for kids like some of those advising you here, I assure you if you choose to marry your sister , you will still have your challenges.

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