₦airaland Forum

Try to settle n get a job in Nigeria, care n make sure u re close to his family..ur husband might be saving ur life and that of ur kids by staying far away from u..stop thinking that he is with another woman ..I guess he is doing drugs so just bear with him..I believe he is doing it for the interest of ur family.. Think positive dear

E

zeb04:
Mrsabuh1 why do you still want to be married to him?

Someone that is violent a womanizer and probably has bastard kids everywhere.

What is the catch?
What is that one good quality that is making you want to go back?

Abi they swear for you?

No be swear, na love. Or better still , he may be a champ in the other room.

Mrsabuh1:
Please I seek advice from experts here as I'm lost and devastated over this issue, please bear with me as my story is a little bit long.

This is the 7th year of my marriage and the union is blessed with three kids, hubby and I stayed in UAE, but whenever I'm pregnant I come down to have my kids due to cost and also I ll be needing helping hands after delivery, it happened that when I came down to have my last child 3years ago as usual, I was preparing to return to UAE , I discovered that my Husband had canceled the resident visa for myself and our two kids, when I confronted him he said he is making plans to leave UAE and there was no point for us coming back and also business isn't moving as usual so taking care of us will cause a strain on his finances. At first I felt bad and cried about it but later I accepted my fate and moved on.

First plan was for me to apply for Canada study visa, the plan was to go with my last child and after sometimes hubby and my other kids can join me later, I got admitted into a Canadian college but when the time for visa processing hubby pulled out that we should go the express entry way, I accepted and started with registering for ielts tutorials which I did for 5 weeks, and to God b the glory I aced my exam. It was left for him to write his as he ll be standing as the primary applicant since he has lots of job experience but along the line he pulled out again and said everyone is going to Canada and he ll work out something different.

Last year he applied for US visa he was denied, he applied for Germany too, still denied. While he was doing all this I was alone in Nigeria with the kids while he stays in UAE but visits every 5 months. This year June, we had some issues that would ve resulted to divorce but we settled it with the help of some elders so he said he was going to make up for his mistake by applying for UK for both of us so we can just take a vacation to London, of course I was excited and looking up for the trip.

He applied for UK visa for both of us and lucky they granted us 6 months, I was already getting set and looking forward to the trip when he said he needed to rush down to UAE as he has some unfinished business, two days after he left I saw him updated his fb and the location was showing UK, he left without me and he didn't even inform me that he ll b going until he got there. When I confronted him he came up with the excuse that he needed to meet with some companies over investment so that way he can process resident permits for everyone at home so we all come over there at once, two days later he told me he got a job.

it's been 2 months over there already, we filed our stay for 10 days when applying for the visa and I know what he has done is messing his future chances up, now he doesn't do video call, won't pick my calls when I call at my own time, from 7pm he isn't active as no way I can reach him, before now the only time he put a call across is when he is in a bus .. I confronted him over all this and guess what,he has stopped talking to me, Wont reply my chats or even talk to me yet he reads them, our sons bday was 4 days ago and he couldn't even call to speak with him or wish him happy birthday.

I'm so confused, this is the man that I have lost lot of jobs opportunity for simply because he doesnt want me to work, I learnt fashion designing so it won't be like I'm staying at home doing nothing, I run a fashion store but trust me I'm not feeling it because its not what I'm meant to do ..

In two months time I will b 30 and you know how Nigerian systems works, the older you get, the lesser chances of getting a job I dont even know what to do with myself, please advise me what to do?

I'd also like those who ve an idea of how the system in UK works to tell me how long it takes for one to b granted residential permits in the UK so I ll know when all this will end or if it ll ever end so I can make my next move
also how possible it is for one to land UK and in two days he is already working .

I feel used, I feel like hubby used me to secure a visa and I was never in his plans..I reported the issues to our family already and he Told them all he did was for the future of myself and the kids and I shld endure but I do not know for how long..,I'm tired of this distsnce marriage ,its been 3years in distance marriage and its been hell for me.

MOD please help me post this

scan a fake divorce later and he will respond

Madam
Did you cheat on him whilst he was working in UAE?
because you said something happened that should have led to divorce...well most men won't tolerate adultery by their wife and would look for opportunity to payback in a dirty way ...maybe that's what he is doing
But if nothing like that happened then don't give yousef hypertension . If you have been faithful to him and he does this ..just pick up ..don't cal him leave him alone and face your future . 30 is a very young age ....you are still very much employable if you have the necessary skills and experience. But if you don't , your fashion. Designing can yield much . Seek solace in God and see him elevate you . Be focus ..get him.out of your mind .... he may later come back looking for you and if he doesn't , your life must not end because of him ...move on

Be mindful of that man called husband he is up to something. Find a way yourself without h9im jare.

You are on this ship alone and he is sending reassurance here and there dont make him waste your time .

He is up to somthing. He wants you in Nigeria permanent so he can be free like a bird. All is skimming is to keep you here.

Find your way ooo

Why is nobody asking the OP what is that thing that happened before that almost lead to divorce in the marriage



Op please what was the thing that happened that almost lead to divorce that was later settled maybe he is has not forgiven

Mrsabuh1:
Please I seek advice from experts here as I'm lost and devastated over this issue, please bear with me as my story is a little bit long.

This is the 7th year of my marriage and the union is blessed with three kids, hubby and I stayed in UAE, but whenever I'm pregnant I come down to have my kids due to cost and also I ll be needing helping hands after delivery, it happened that when I came down to have my last child 3years ago as usual, I was preparing to return to UAE , I discovered that my Husband had canceled the resident visa for myself and our two kids, when I confronted him he said he is making plans to leave UAE and there was no point for us coming back and also business isn't moving as usual so taking care of us will cause a strain on his finances. At first I felt bad and cried about it but later I accepted my fate and moved on.

First plan was for me to apply for Canada study visa, the plan was to go with my last child and after sometimes hubby and my other kids can join me later, I got admitted into a Canadian college but when the time for visa processing hubby pulled out that we should go the express entry way, I accepted and started with registering for ielts tutorials which I did for 5 weeks, and to God b the glory I aced my exam. It was left for him to write his as he ll be standing as the primary applicant since he has lots of job experience but along the line he pulled out again and said everyone is going to Canada and he ll work out something different.

Last year he applied for US visa he was denied, he applied for Germany too, still denied. While he was doing all this I was alone in Nigeria with the kids while he stays in UAE but visits every 5 months. This year June, we had some issues that would ve resulted to divorce but we settled it with the help of some elders so he said he was going to make up for his mistake by applying for UK for both of us so we can just take a vacation to London, of course I was excited and looking up for the trip.

He applied for UK visa for both of us and lucky they granted us 6 months, I was already getting set and looking forward to the trip when he said he needed to rush down to UAE as he has some unfinished business, two days after he left I saw him updated his fb and the location was showing UK, he left without me and he didn't even inform me that he ll b going until he got there. When I confronted him he came up with the excuse that he needed to meet with some companies over investment so that way he can process resident permits for everyone at home so we all come over there at once, two days later he told me he got a job.

it's been 2 months over there already, we filed our stay for 10 days when applying for the visa and I know what he has done is messing his future chances up, now he doesn't do video call, won't pick my calls when I call at my own time, from 7pm he isn't active as no way I can reach him, before now the only time he put a call across is when he is in a bus .. I confronted him over all this and guess what,he has stopped talking to me, Wont reply my chats or even talk to me yet he reads them, our sons bday was 4 days ago and he couldn't even call to speak with him or wish him happy birthday.

I'm so confused, this is the man that I have lost lot of jobs opportunity for simply because he doesnt want me to work, I learnt fashion designing so it won't be like I'm staying at home doing nothing, I run a fashion store but trust me I'm not feeling it because its not what I'm meant to do ..

In two months time I will b 30 and you know how Nigerian systems works, the older you get, the lesser chances of getting a job I dont even know what to do with myself, please advise me what to do?

I'd also like those who ve an idea of how the system in UK works to tell me how long it takes for one to b granted residential permits in the UK so I ll know when all this will end or if it ll ever end so I can make my next move
also how possible it is for one to land UK and in two days he is already working .

I feel used, I feel like hubby used me to secure a visa and I was never in his plans..I reported the issues to our family already and he Told them all he did was for the future of myself and the kids and I shld endure but I do not know for how long..,I'm tired of this distsnce marriage ,its been 3years in distance marriage and its been hell for me.

MOD please help me post this

Women should learn to stand their ground. You have a dream and you let this man fool you. No now, see try the Canada study visa again and off he talks rubbish shun him and move on. I am telling you because my father is dead and never allowed my mom to work and now we are stuck in poverty. To be forewarned is to be forearmed.

Madam he has another wife you don't know about. He blocked you from coming back to UAE, Uk visa for both you he still prevented u from going with him. Madam think

Mrsabuh1:
Please I seek advice from experts here as I'm lost and devastated over this issue, please bear with me as my story is a little bit long.

This is the 7th year of my marriage and the union is blessed with three kids, hubby and I stayed in UAE, [b]but whenever I'm pregnant I come down to have my kids due to cost and also I ll be needing helping hands after delivery, it happened that when I came down to have my last child 3years ago as usual, I [/b]was preparing to return to UAE , I discovered that my Husband had canceled the resident visa for myself and our two kids, when I confronted him he said he is making plans to leave UAE and there was no point for us coming back and also business isn't moving as usual so taking care of us will cause a strain on his finances. At first I felt bad and cried about it but later I accepted my fate and moved on.

First plan was for me to apply for Canada study visa, the plan was to go with my last child and after sometimes hubby and my other kids can join me later, I got admitted into a Canadian college but when the time for visa processing hubby pulled out that we should go the express entry way, I accepted and started with registering for ielts tutorials which I did for 5 weeks, and to God b the glory I aced my exam. It was left for him to write his as he ll be standing as the primary applicant since he has lots of job experience but along the line he pulled out again and said everyone is going to Canada and he ll work out something different.

Last year he applied for US visa he was denied, he applied for Germany too, still denied. While he was doing all this I was alone in Nigeria with the kids while he stays in UAE but visits every 5 months. This year June, we had some issues that would ve resulted to divorce but we settled it with the help of some elders so he said he was going to make up for his mistake by applying for UK for both of us so we can just take a vacation to London, of course I was excited and looking up for the trip.

He applied for UK visa for both of us and lucky they granted us 6 months, I was already getting set and looking forward to the trip when he said he needed to rush down to UAE as he has some unfinished business, two days after he left I saw him updated his fb and the location was showing UK, he left without me and he didn't even inform me that he ll b going until he got there. When I confronted him he came up with the excuse that he needed to meet with some companies over investment so that way he can process resident permits for everyone at home so we all come over there at once, two days later he told me he got a job.

it's been 2 months over there already, we filed our stay for 10 days when applying for the visa and I know what he has done is messing his future chances up, now he doesn't do video call, won't pick my calls when I call at my own time, from 7pm he isn't active as no way I can reach him, before now the only time he put a call across is when he is in a bus .. I confronted him over all this and guess what,he has stopped talking to me, Wont reply my chats or even talk to me yet he reads them, our sons bday was 4 days ago and he couldn't even call to speak with him or wish him happy birthday.

I'm so confused, this is the man that I have lost lot of jobs opportunity for simply because he doesnt want me to work, I learnt fashion designing so it won't be like I'm staying at home doing nothing, I run a fashion store but trust me I'm not feeling it because its not what I'm meant to do ..

In two months time I will b 30 and you know how Nigerian systems works, the older you get, the lesser chances of getting a job I dont even know what to do with myself, please advise me what to do?

I'd also like those who ve an idea of how the system in UK works to tell me how long it takes for one to b granted residential permits in the UK so I ll know when all this will end or if it ll ever end so I can make my next move
also how possible it is for one to land UK and in two days he is already working .

I feel used, I feel like hubby used me to secure a visa and I was never in his plans..I reported the issues to our family already and he Told them all he did was for the future of myself and the kids and I shld endure but I do not know for how long..,I'm tired of this distsnce marriage ,its been 3years in distance marriage and its been hell for me.

MOD please help me post this

to be honest you really messed up there. Coming to naija to give birth? What happened to giving birth in Canada and USA where your children can be natural citizens . I am guessing you husband made u give births in naija.

In summary, seems like he s seeing someone else

It's well, just get yourself engaged for now and since he said you should be patient, just give him some time and if possible, talk to some of his siblings to talk to him, I won't advice you to divorce him because it's wrong, you are in it and just endure, all will be well.

generationz:
My dear just pray you don't come into contact with selfish and wicked people.

They don't want to help you and don't want you to move forward at the same time.

The man must be a demon if he has other plans besides his family.

D height of wickedness. Could b spiritual though cos I know someone who lost everything immediately she showed off in church by donating a live cow. She's back to square one in the village now after her village people sit on top her matter.

First, I feel ashamed that there are men who treat their wives like this. I may not be making any mistake to say

Wetting Dey pain me be say,this Man fit Dey run street to put food on the table. Run one ogbonge deal with one cougar,wey be say. Las lass Na you and kids go enjoy the benefits.

Se Jeje.

Slow slow slow

Mrsabuh1:
he is also a nairalander ,if only he can see this post and tell me my offence , im not saying I'm a perfect being but I know for sure that I have not offended him in any ways, as a matter of fact he was the one that had offended , for three years I was in Nigeria ,hubby was cohabiting with another woman untill he they had issues and he beat her up, she lost two tooth and got into a problem.with UAE police , the ugly lady contacted me and she seems to know so much about me , things I shared with my hubby she is aware of everything in my home ,this was part of the reason why we had some crisis in June and also part where I got a job in abj added to it ..I forgave him and moved on .
I couldn't ve seized his passport,he told me he was making plans for us to go on a short vacation to UK to make it up to me for the pain he caused me , when the visa came out he said he needed to return to UAe to finish up so business so he can be free to travel and then boom., he went to UK just like that and right now he isnt communicating wit his family ..
ok let's assume I did something wrong , what about his children , didnt he consider them at all, what offence did the committed against him for him to turn his back on them like this

Sorry, ma'am. I read your second submission on the thread and I must point out that the foundation of your relationship is way off. You failed to make due diligence and even didn't ask questions when you found out the truth. You married a liar and serial cheat. Be that as it may, you are still young and you've got your life to live.

If you can, look for something or start planning on traveling with your kids alone to Canada. I am not an advocate of divorce but your husband is way too unstable and shady. For the sake of your emotional and mental health, live your life like you're alone in this. He somehow understands you and believes he has your mumu button which seems to be traveling to the UK as a family. He'll come sell the story when he is done with the woman he is with in the UK.

For now, pick up your life and continue living. I pray God grants you strength to survive this turbulent period in your home.

zeb04:
Mrsabuh1 why do you still want to be married to him?

Someone that is violent a womanizer and probably has bastard kids everywhere.

What is the catch?
What is that one good quality that is making you want to go back?

Abi they swear for you?

Chai. How do you know? A lot of women like this myopic thing can never think without emotions, or talk without judging tufia.

obiekunie2:
he suspects u r cheating on him. he feels that last child is not his own

how do u know all these?

15ssDRIVE:
Wetting Dey pain me be say,this Man fit Dey run street to put food on the table. Run one ogbonge deal with one cougar,wey be say. Las lass Na you and kids go enjoy the benefits.

Se Jeje.

Slow slow slow

You Should Be Slapped. Mumu

Officialgarri:
Mrs Abu, your issue is not one that conclusions could be made hastily.
Infact many wives would have set all hell loose.
I personally would have advised that you should have retailiated by seizing his international passport, or just cause some kind of havoc that will hold him back in Nigeria .... or restrict his freedom

But while I acknowledge and appreciate your tolerance according ''to your own side of the story", it would be easier if we could hear your husband's side of the story.

I mean, there are things you could be doing that's making your hubby abhor and avoid you.

How's your attitude like around him?
Does he complain about you being stubborn?
What exactly has he tried to stop you from doing but you wouldn't listen?

Rubbish!

baby124:
Just reapply for the Canadian visa. Don’t tell him about it till you get to Canada. Please take all your kids with you. God will make a way. Try to hustle go at least make sure you are able to travel and take care of yourself and kids without his help in Canada. That’s if your parents have the means. You can take a loan from them and pay it back installmentslly. Your husband is not open or reliable.

Start making your own plans. He obviously is in a contract marriage in the UK or deceiving some girl. Reason why he can’t pick up after 7pm, he’s home with her. I feel so sorry for you. Goodluck in all your endeavors and I wish you well.

Most logical explanation so far. However, I find it strange everyone is advising her to move to Canada. Is Nigeria really so bad?

First, I feel ashamed that there are men who treat their wives like this. I may not be making any mistake to say that your husband is treacherous. The earlier you can start preparing yourself for a future without (or with him but Independently) the better you and your kids too.
My dear this your husband na one chance and I feel ashamed. I feel sorry for you.
Please, discuss with your parents and family members that can help you with your relocating abroad, most importantly because of your kids.
God help you!

15ssDRIVE:
Wetting Dey pain me be say,this Man fit Dey run street to put food on the table. Run one ogbonge deal with one cougar,wey be say. Las lass Na you and kids go enjoy the benefits.

Se Jeje.

Slow slow slow

hope she too can run street to put food on the table since he has disappeared?

Your hubby is in a contract marriage with a woman in uk

Mrsabuh1:
he is also a nairalander ,if only he can see this post and tell me my offence , im not saying I'm a perfect being but I know for sure that I have not offended him in any ways, as a matter of fact he was the one that had offended , for three years I was in Nigeria ,hubby was cohabiting with another woman untill he they had issues and he beat her up, she lost two tooth and got into a problem.with UAE police , the ugly lady contacted me and she seems to know so much about me , things I shared with my hubby she is aware of everything in my home ,this was part of the reason why we had some crisis in June and also part where I got a job in abj added to it ..I forgave him and moved on .
I couldn't ve seized his passport,he told me he was making plans for us to go on a short vacation to UK to make it up to me for the pain he caused me , when the visa came out he said he needed to return to UAe to finish up so business so he can be free to travel and then boom., he went to UK just like that and right now he isnt communicating wit his family ..
ok let's assume I did something wrong , what about his children , didnt he consider them at all, what offence did the committed against him for him to turn his back on them like this

Sighs.

Build something out of this mess.Ma
ke lemonade out of this lemons life is throwing at you.

Stop calling him,start now to prove him wrong.Find pleasure in good things that used to make you happy and in ur children.

Find something doing, your own money is important.You see Mr Abuh,He has his Chi to explain to.

Madam, seek traveling advice on how to continue with your Canadian application without your husband.

your hubby is not straight forward.

Alaini nkan se ...Ara Galatia ni oko yin.....

His eyes go clear when you send him pictures of you and your kids playing games in snow.

Mutemenot:
A friend is planing doing what your husband just did, he reasons 're "the wife nags alot, she's never contented any passing day without one or two troubles" so Op, I hope your behave isn't chasing your husband away from home... I think you alone can knows d reason behind your husband's action.

Other women hate to think along this line, that a fellow woman could have done something that the husband couldn't handle and he freaked out and ran.
He may have discovered that madam's attitude overtime is a threat if and when they get to Canada or Europe.
I'm not in any on his side but there's more to this story and we may never know.

zeb04:
Mrsabuh1 why do you still want to be married to him?

Someone that is violent a womanizer and probably has bastard kids everywhere.

What is the catch?
What is that one good quality that is making you want to go back?

Abi they swear for you?

Abroad husband

Start working on your visa to Canada na. Must you wait for your mentally unstable horseband to work things for you?

Many regressive baboons don't like women leaving the shores of the sh1t hole to a place where women are treated as kings. Your mumu horseband is one of them.

Start working on your own future and that of your kids before its too late.

Sorry madam, I pay God lead you through...

If your story is true, organise yourself and rush down to Canada and hustle to train the Children God has given you. Your Children will grow to hear the story. I think IELTS result last for two years.
Moreover, I think you don't know your Husband very well before you married him. Move on, He will come on his knees begging.

stop giving him headache, we need fresh breeze sometimes, we don't want to be suffocated ! he will eventually ran away if you continue this way! what if he get to read this? stop all the nagging and give him peace

the man is battling for survival himself and would be more complicated to carry hand bags along, women are the boss in the UK as the law favour most, no man will take a woman with this kind of temper over there as you may end getting him into trouble with the authority.