₦airaland Forum

my brother run for your life, stingy people don't change

user283:
There's this lady I've been dating for two years now. We happen to be members of the same church and I ought to have taken the relationship to the next level by getting my parents to her place for our introduction last month but I had a rethink and postponed our introduction due to an issue that might cause problem in the future

I noticed my girlfriend is the stingy type. When I mean stingy, it's on the high side. Assuming she's just averagely stingy I wouldn't really be bothered but this is gross.

I work as a bank teller (contract staff) and my salary isn't really much while she works in Shoprite. Even from the little I earn, I'm always sensitive to her needs and I tip her whether she's stranded or not since I love her but how can I explain being with a lady for two solid years and I've never for once received any gift no matter how little it is? Not even something as little as toothbrush or hair cream

Initially, I didn't see this as a big deal probably because I grew up with the mentality that it's a taboo for a man to expect gifts or little support from his girlfriend when he's in dire need
but I've now grown to realize that "give and take" is one of the key elements of a good relationship

Even if I get stranded or go into debt, my girlfriend acts nonchalant and she'll be the
last person that will ever render a little financial assistance to help my situation. You might say I should sit her down and discuss about it. Yes I've already done that and I made her understand that I actually postponed our introduction for no other reason but because I'm still indecisive if I want to spend the rest of my life with a selfish woman but her response shows she takes pride in being stingy

I even used logic to whine her younger brother recently just to be sure if she's stingy to me alone but the boy confirmed it that her sister is very stingy. I decided to carry out my findings on her brother because I believe he should know her better.

You might want to talk about sex but my belief is that sex is just a mutual pleasure and does not define what a woman gives to you in a relationship especially a relationship that will lead to the altar

What's getting me worried is that we've come a long way but I don't want to end up with a selfish woman because it's written all over her that she cares so much only about her own well being

Please advice your fellow brother. Do I have a reason to be worried? I've been jumping a lagoon for a woman who can't jump a gutter for me especially when it comes to giving. Should I tolerate this level of stinginess from a woman simply because I'm a man?

P.S: I'm still with her because she has other good traits

Please pardon my typos. I wrote this in a hurry

You wan take clear eye marry certified sinner? Abi you never hear of HarrySong and Duncan Mighty?
On a more serious note, you need to have at least one sleepless night about it.
It's a very serious issue.
Personally, I won't date a stingy woman for three month. Not in this planet!

foyeks2001:
My brother, pls run.
Someone I know was like this b4 she got married and she's still the same even worse.
Her husband provides everything in their house even including pencil, despite her having 2big shops in Abuja city center. Do you also know that she uses her maiden name in all her properties Properties that we know her husband contributed large amount for her to get Her husband also finances her businesses, something we her siblings are in the know but to her, the man hasn't done anything. If you see the way she talks down her husband to people, even Satan will be surprised.
We her siblings can't go to her for ordinary N 100 paracetamol... Her response has only being... I haven't sold anything since morning but ask her husband for the N100 if that man comes around that moment.
Despite her millions( someone that travels to USA, UK, Dubai, Senegal, Turkey, etc to buy goods) cannot eat N2000 food at a sitting but she will gladly collect from you if you give to her.

Note: That kind of woman cannot see you go broke o, else you and your children are in hot soup.

I'm shook. Abeg! Can somebody tell me what exactly she does with the money then? Like she's hoarding it for what in particular. I feel like this can be a sought of mental problem cuz this is not normal.

Billy99:
We don't want cheating girls . We love sex but no be only Bleep we come this life come Bleep. Na 21st century be this.. And sadly we are living in a country whereby our leaders don use the pant of our nation buy benz. So any man wey carry him big head go marry woman wey dey stingy.... I pray God drops manna from heaven when things are no longer rosy for him

she is not jobless remember? The guy might be forming banker for her so she doesn't feel the need to spend her shoprite sales girl salary on a banker. I just have a sincere advise. No need to get worked up. So many girls Bleep other guys to give their boyfriends gifts on their birthday. Look guy I know what's up and to me he should not lose his woman over that as long as she works hard for her own survival. She will change after marriage. Girls hardly give away money they worked for to another person. I can promise you that girl does not have a side nicca

These video is all about building a strong and healthy relationship with your spouse.

Watch and learn...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUnGaRvEUh0

"Please pardon my typos. I wrote this in a hurry"

even if u write it slowly u will make the same mistake.

by the way, am in same shoe with u. but recently she is beginning to release hand. she will tell me that she borrowed from Bro. but I know it's her's and will definitely pay back

majormofor:
You man, your dating yourself o... If a girl truly loves you she would buy something without telling you.
Best advice---"buy something for urself and let her know it's New and tell her, it's one of your female friends that bought it and you love it soooooo much..
Let see how we go from there. Her reaction should speak more

awesome advice bro

user283:
There's this lady I've been dating for two years now. We happen to be members of the same church and I ought to have taken the relationship to the next level by getting my parents to her place for our introduction last month but I had a rethink and postponed our introduction due to an issue that might cause problem in the future

I noticed my girlfriend is the stingy type. When I mean stingy, it's on the high side. Assuming she's just averagely stingy I wouldn't really be bothered but this is gross.

I work as a bank teller (contract staff) and my salary isn't really much while she works in Shoprite. Even from the little I earn, I'm always sensitive to her needs and I tip her whether she's stranded or not since I love her but how can I explain being with a lady for two solid years and I've never for once received any gift no matter how little it is? Not even something as little as toothbrush or hair cream

Initially, I didn't see this as a big deal probably because I grew up with the mentality that it's a taboo for a man to expect gifts or little support from his girlfriend when he's in dire need
but I've now grown to realize that "give and take" is one of the key elements of a good relationship

Even if I get stranded or go into debt, my girlfriend acts nonchalant and she'll be the
last person that will ever render a little financial assistance to help my situation. You might say I should sit her down and discuss about it. Yes I've already done that and I made her understand that I actually postponed our introduction for no other reason but because I'm still indecisive if I want to spend the rest of my life with a selfish woman but her response shows she takes pride in being stingy

I even used logic to whine her younger brother recently just to be sure if she's stingy to me alone but the boy confirmed it that her sister is very stingy. I decided to carry out my findings on her brother because I believe he should know her better.

You might want to talk about sex but my belief is that sex is just a mutual pleasure and does not define what a woman gives to you in a relationship especially a relationship that will lead to the altar

What's getting me worried is that we've come a long way but I don't want to end up with a selfish woman because it's written all over her that she cares so much only about her own well being

Please advice your fellow brother. Do I have a reason to be worried? I've been jumping a lagoon for a woman who can't jump a gutter for me especially when it comes to giving. Should I tolerate this level of stinginess from a woman simply because I'm a man?

P.S: I'm still with her because she has other good traits

Please pardon my typos. I wrote this in a hurry

better to be with a poor kind person than a rich stingy person. I wouldn't do that if I was you.
And yes! You're smart enough to observe she's never bought you nothing! That's a red flag!

mumumugu:
it doesn't matter how far you have gone in the wrong direction, back off. start anew.

For God so love the world that he GAVE........

true love is tested in the act of sacrifical giving.

stop giving to her. don't wait till you are broke. tell her you needher help. continue asking for her assistance.....

giving shouldn't be forced , it should come from within willingly. my best advice to op is that if he know he can't bare with her red flag then it's better he called it quit now . no guarantee whether she will change later in future.

Biingoo:
I wish I can lay my hand on you now. Sewer rat!

This is exactly what I was saying.... U truly need help

Fantazy:
I wonder what good can come from a stingy person.

Think of this: Even the wealthiest man on earth still expect financial assistance at times from his other half
#Fact

What you said is a fallacy

loswhite:
How do you define rich men? How much do you need to have for you to classify yourself rich? Well you will never hear them complain tho because they can easy dump your sorry ass and move on to the next

That's your reality, not mine

Guyman02:
Let me share a personal experience, when I was dating my wife, I didnt take time to observe that I was basically doing everything in the relationship and it was a one sided affair.
I was buying things for her because money was flowing and she was earning little from her work place. I deluded myself that she was stingy because she earned little and since I was making a lot of money outside my salary there was no issue, I was simply in love.
Then we got married and she got a better high paying job.
After sometime my company redeployed me to another unit where I was forced to depend solely on my salary, no more access to vendors and suppliers who tipped me regularly to facilitate procurement under my control.
We had our baby and the salary alone could no longer carry all our bills, the rent which I could afford to pay without touching my salary back in the day was now a burden.
I kept asking my wife for assistance and it was not forthcoming, it was then I started thinking backwards and realised that I didnt take note of her stinginess.
The pressure continued growing and frustration started setting in, I was calculating what her salary can do for us but she was not ready to assist, frustration due to mounting financial pressure started getting hold of me and in the process katakata burst.
She will even tell me that the bible says that any man who cannot feed his family is worse than an infidel.

We had fights and nothing has changed in her attitude, she spends her money however she likes including buying cars of her choice, trinkets, sending to her family etc while my own money in her eyes is for the Federal Republic. Whenever I send money to my own relations or people in need she gets angry and will remind me about outstanding school fees, gas, light etc so I have to resort to doing things for my own people without informing her.

I had to accept the situation and live grudgingly with it since I cannot divorce her but decided to hustle harder for the sake of the family including her.
At this point its no longer about love in marriage but survival, that her beauty and other 'traits' wey being dey shack me then is no longer the key element in the relationship after some years because there are several bills to settle.
Financial consideration is a very key point for any relationship to be successful and stinginess (which is tantamount to selfishness) causes crisis in marriages.
Guy I will not advise you but I am sharing my personal experience of several years in marriage to help you decide.

@user283, if after reading this man's testimony and you still go ahead to marry that girl, then you are a mad man.

I salute your native intelligence in observing this critical character trait .Marriage is a sowing ground. You sow your life,your time,money,patience ,energy and other things while you watch it grow. Whoever does not possess this trait can't manage the partnership of marriage successfully. My brother run for your life and look a compatible lady that you can both share everything together in marriage .Nothing survives in the dead sea because it has no tributary. Anyone that does not know how to give to others can't build a good home.

Trimque2k1:
rich men don't complain of stingy women because situation has not allowed them to,op states everything clearly.its a plus when u know ur wife when u are not rich and get rich later to appreciate her

Men do not like it when women see them at their worst. Do not deceive yoyrself

Truth is for Naija, both men and women are doing OVERSABI, no more innocent, playing of the fool which is making everyone not to trust each other. She doesn't want to lose all in case u don't marry her.....but, I feel if u love someone, u should buy them something ( even as a lady) no matter how small.....I used to have a neighbor that always do: 'Me, myself and I', only her family's needs matters but when she sees me she wants me to patronize her like I patronize my other neighbor( also with family) who isnt so selfish..... this same woman can't even buy anything for her kids, she go wait for her Police husband to come from him post outside the state before she buys anything for the kids....that means, if this woman God forbid, becomes a single mother, na hustle go kill the children she born.....

content208:
Oh.my God! So, the curse of Dumbness is even hereditary in your family?! What a cursed family yours is! How are you coping with the reality of your irredeemable hereditary stupidity?

Like I said before, am feeling sorry for ur future generations. No one has ever been cured from hereditary stupidity and Dumbness. Ur present and future lives are of serious interest and concern to him, how can I help u?

Rajman45:
Like I said before, am feeling sorry for ur future generations. No one has ever been cured from hereditary stupidity and Dumbness. Ur present and future lives are of serious interest and concern to him, how can I help u?

How soon does the living members of your family plan to register for mental evaluation and rehabilitation? You need it fast before you infect your upcoming generation

user283:
I've done that before but it doesn't change anything bro

Then you shouldn't be here!!!... The relationship should av ended long time ago. You dnt marry stingy wives. Incase there is an emergency at home and you are not around,
Do you think she will help out??
She might just be saying "I told him to give me money before he goes o and he didn't... She will den leave it like that without solving the emergency..

Come and join Mo4-Tv for more advice.. 0-7-0-8-7-733472
Dm us on WhatsApp

majormofor:
You man, your dating yourself o... If a girl truly loves you she would buy something without telling you.
Best advice---"buy something for urself and let her know it's New and tell her, it's one of your female friends that bought it and you love it soooooo much..
Let see how we go from there. Her reaction should speak more

Lol...funny but I think it might just work

Eyeness:
the reason you wrote this is because you don't have much. if she is a good person despite this, then marry her. Actually, you are the provider in the family. How come i never see rich men complain of stingy women?

No body is talking about rich or poor, we are all talking about "SACRIFICE ".

What if the so called rich man became poor tomorrow and the same lady is doing well? How can the man get back to his fit.

[color=#006600][/color]

user283:
There's this lady I've been dating for two years now. We happen to be members of the same church and I ought to have taken the relationship to the next level by getting my parents to her place for our introduction last month but I had a rethink and postponed our introduction due to an issue that might cause problem in the future

I noticed my girlfriend is the stingy type. When I mean stingy, it's on the high side. Assuming she's just averagely stingy I wouldn't really be bothered but this is gross.

I work as a bank teller (contract staff) and my salary isn't really much while she works in Shoprite. Even from the little I earn, I'm always sensitive to her needs and I tip her whether she's stranded or not since I love her but how can I explain being with a lady for two solid years and I've never for once received any gift no matter how little it is? Not even something as little as toothbrush or hair cream

Initially, I didn't see this as a big deal probably because I grew up with the mentality that it's a taboo for a man to expect gifts or little support from his girlfriend when he's in dire need
but I've now grown to realize that "give and take" is one of the key elements of a good relationship

Even if I get stranded or go into debt, my girlfriend acts nonchalant and she'll be the
last person that will ever render a little financial assistance to help my situation. You might say I should sit her down and discuss about it. Yes I've already done that and I made her understand that I actually postponed our introduction for no other reason but because I'm still indecisive if I want to spend the rest of my life with a selfish woman but her response shows she takes pride in being stingy

I even used logic to whine her younger brother recently just to be sure if she's stingy to me alone but the boy confirmed it that her sister is very stingy. I decided to carry out my findings on her brother because I believe he should know her better.

You might want to talk about sex but my belief is that sex is just a mutual pleasure and does not define what a woman gives to you in a relationship especially a relationship that will lead to the altar

What's getting me worried is that we've come a long way but I don't want to end up with a selfish woman because it's written all over her that she cares so much only about her own well being

Please advice your fellow brother. Do I have a reason to be worried? I've been jumping a lagoon for a woman who can't jump a gutter for me especially when it comes to giving. Should I tolerate this level of stinginess from a woman simply because I'm a man?

P.S: I'm still with her because she has other good traits

Please pardon my typos. I wrote this in a hurry

The worst thing that can Happen to any Man is having a stingy wife.

I still remember the years my elder brother was jobless and broke after he was duped he almost committed suicide because of the stinginess of his wife couple with the insults and to think this woman was managing a big supermarket that my brother opened for her when things was Good. Thank God for today Sha Bros is now back on his feet WITH a new wife.

[color=#006600][/color]

shege45:
a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. That woman no go support you in hard times. Na only ur money go dey go House. Just know your salary would be for all of u. Be wise

She is among those women that believes that the man's money is OUR money But her own Money his MY own personal money.

SillyeRabbit:
You are dating yourself.

LOL. Its funny. you will need to compare the good in her with stingy nature. if the good exceeds then go ahead and marry her.

utenwuson:
Which one is submissive kwa... Person no de bring even 10 naira come table you talking submission...

If your woman can't even help out when u need little favour Bros do not marry her, she will wait for u to come bring money for food when u traveled and the kids are hungry......

Yes, She is submissive on the bed but not with her money

[quote author=user283 post=84337980]I've done that before but it doesn't change anything bro[/quote
That kind of girl is called " i dont bloody care". For such person, pick race. Moderate jealousy is needed in a relationship

user283:
Why don't I think I owe her no responsibility too since I'm not yet married to her? Does it mean I'm being foolish?

But remember her younger brother told me she's that way when I whined him

Just say you've had your fill, tired and looking for an excuse to breakup with her.

Think about it; she's been stingy all along but it never bothered you until now you're both planning to be married .

What guarantees you that the next girl will have better qualities ? You've known her for some few years...does that not count for anything ?
I'm not justifying her supposed stinginess though, but think it through before you make your final decision.

If her good qualities outweigh the stinginess, I believe you'll be making a mistake by calling off the relationship.
Give her the chance to work on it (stingy nature), she can improve if she puts her mind to it.
I believe she's that way because she wasn't trained to share when she was little .

user283:
There's this lady I've been dating for two years now. We happen to be members of the same church and I ought to have taken the relationship to the next level by getting my parents to her place for our introduction last month but I had a rethink and postponed our introduction due to an issue that might cause problem in the future

I noticed my girlfriend is the stingy type. When I mean stingy, it's on the high side. Assuming she's just averagely stingy I wouldn't really be bothered but this is gross.

I work as a bank teller (contract staff) and my salary isn't really much while she works in Shoprite. Even from the little I earn, I'm always sensitive to her needs and I tip her whether she's stranded or not since I love her but how can I explain being with a lady for two solid years and I've never for once received any gift no matter how little it is? Not even something as little as toothbrush or hair cream

Initially, I didn't see this as a big deal probably because I grew up with the mentality that it's a taboo for a man to expect gifts or little support from his girlfriend when he's in dire need
but I've now grown to realize that "give and take" is one of the key elements of a good relationship

Even if I get stranded or go into debt, my girlfriend acts nonchalant and she'll be the
last person that will ever render a little financial assistance to help my situation. You might say I should sit her down and discuss about it. Yes I've already done that and I made her understand that I actually postponed our introduction for no other reason but because I'm still indecisive if I want to spend the rest of my life with a selfish woman but her response shows she takes pride in being stingy

I even used logic to whine her younger brother recently just to be sure if she's stingy to me alone but the boy confirmed it that her sister is very stingy. I decided to carry out my findings on her brother because I believe he should know her better.

You might want to talk about sex but my belief is that sex is just a mutual pleasure and does not define what a woman gives to you in a relationship especially a relationship that will lead to the altar

What's getting me worried is that we've come a long way but I don't want to end up with a selfish woman because it's written all over her that she cares so much only about her own well being

Please advice your fellow brother. Do I have a reason to be worried? I've been jumping a lagoon for a woman who can't jump a gutter for me especially when it comes to giving. Should I tolerate this level of stinginess from a woman simply because I'm a man?

P.S: I'm still with her because she has other good traits

Please pardon my typos. I wrote this in a hurry

She is the sure of you, no one will invest money in something not lucrative.
I once dated a girl just like that but in my case she never asks nor give. I had to quarry her on my birthday when I received no gifts from her and next day she bought me a gift....


... Long storey short, she's my ex now

Bro, you've got a stingy gf. Trust me, if you marry someone like that, it's most likely you become under financial pressure just because she has refused to support financially. Not cool! Giving shouldn't be one sided... Weigh your options, is it a baggage you can claim or not? Only you know what you want and what you can accept. Goodluck

generalissimo:
To think that somebody like you will get married one day is scary. If you had not written this under the influence of weed, then, your mother needs a lot of prayers to do

I would not have replied you, but you mentioned my mother

I have cursed you severally

May your kids don't grow

Slynation:
I once had a girlfriend that usually support me from the money i do give to her without her been a working class and also buys me things as well....So ur point is baseless and inconsequential

What separated you both

Eyeness:
the reason you wrote this is because you don't have much. if she is a good person despite this, then marry her. Actually, you are the provider in the family. How come i never see rich men complain of stingy women?

How many rich men are close to you ?