₦airaland Forum

Innobee99:
I met this lady in 2015 though she was very young and still young. She's 21 while am 28. I love and cherish her so much and despite her flaws she's the one I find comfortable to spend my days with. We have been having a lot of relationship issues which we do settle.

There are many issues she puts on which I won't want to mention here cuz I overlook her flaws and focus on her good side.

The problem is it seems she's not ready for marriage at all or maybe because she's still young and want to fulfill her youthful desires. Always want to be a slay Queen, contesting for beauty pageants even without my knowledge.

I have talked to her severally about my desire to marry her but only nod her head in affirmation but I think she's really not ready.

OK, last year we had a serious issue which we broke up cuz it was a real family war. But we later came back to together again despite I was not at fault and cuz of the love I have for her, I went to her mum to apologize over the issue so we can be one again. I told this lady to also visit my mum and apologize too but she has been procrastinating for a year now. She has not visited my family house over the year. Whenever I confront her on why she don't want to reconcile with my family, she will give flimsy excuses of been busy. How can one be busy for a whole one year to say sorry even if it's on phone.

Now, I met a lady few months ago, and I love her so much and she's ready to settle down with me next year December. And I knw this my stubborn babe is a very jealous type and I don't knw how to handle the issue and let her go since I have seen someone who's ready to settle down with me.

My babe is only interested in u flexing with her like taking her out to eateries, lodging her in a hotel for fun, buying her gifts without spending her own kobo on u (I can swear to that). Last year, I spent alot on her birthday but wen it was my birthday, the total of what she got for me was N700. N200 perfume and N500 Nivea Roll on. But that's not my business sha.

For example, this new babe requested me to give her 2k to make her hair for an event in Church which I bluntly ignored her just to test her, not that I don't have the money. Can u believe that this babe have even forgotten she asked me the money? And she talks to me perfectly on phone. She was like babe, if u don't have money don't stress urself ooooo, I'll repackage my hair and still look good to Church. If u don't send my babe money before the due time, she'll stop calling u.

The new babe is not after money or material things. Though I'll send her a reasonable amount today. Unlike my babe, who will bring down hell if u don't send her money before the deadline. Can u believe that in August, she had already brought her christmas list to me to check?

To cut all these short, I need mature mind on what to do on this cuz am confused. U can pour ur insults cuz I don't even bother abt that as far as I get the advise I want.

Stay blessed my beautiful NL family.

LOL.
You know what to do. But the "curse" of emotions is preventing you from doing the right thing.
Logic and rational-thought should drive your decison-making and not emotions, Bro.

From your narration, it is obvious both of you don't share similar values and you are likely not going to do so in marriage. For your own life and safety, please let the slay queen go and focus your attention on the one who seems willing and ready to be your friend and partner. It appears you are actually blinded by her charm and you think it is love.

Save yourself the headache.

Loyalty is everything,Go with the one whose loyalty has been tested . Don't chase shadows.

Innobee99:
I never did anything outside the consent of her parents OK? Asking her out at 16 doesn't mean I was sleeping around with her. Besides we stay far away from each in different states. And I may not even see her up to 2 times in a year. So don't crucify me biko

Aren't you the guy that won 40 million on Bet9ja?

So you are spending it on women fa?

Any girl that loves you for you is dangerous. She has a target. She wants to settle down and condoling your bullshit is part of getting it

Innobee99:
Thanks so much. I appreciate this little piece from u. My mum was on phone with her mum and was asking her mum while my babe will do such thing to me. Booom, next was ur mum is saying rubbish and my mum heard her from behind.

and you are still asking us what you should do? Don't you want peace of mind in your marriage?

On your ex, you apologised to the mum over what you arr not guilty of, You are weak on that aspect.

Dump ur ex and move on with the one that is more serious.

21 years old is still young and most of them need time to get some exposure.....I can't marry someone that young.

Dear, you better grow up now, it's certain she is not ready, face it's reality, get down with the lady who is ready and note: it's your cross and u have to carry it.
Above all, the money monger one and show one is addressed as girl and babe, girl don't marry and babe still be cared and breast feed by parents, take note of that

Wow

Awoo88:
Any girl that loves you for you is dangerous. She has a target. She wants to settle down and condoling your bullshit is part of getting it

oh please, some of you have been so abused in relationships that you think all that unnecessary woman drama is part of love.

Not all women do it, doesn't mean they don't have their own flaws. They just aren't drama queens.

No Regret no one have ever married wrongly if the person you married wasn’t your wife or husband to be you guys will never met...we should stop thinking like we human are wiser than God ...

@Innobee99 must you tell the other mumu that you are getting married, she doesn't deserve any information due to her lackadaisical and unserious nature. Do your wedding in peace with your serious madam and live life happily ever after. You people know the right thing to do and yet you will come to nairaland to ask childish questions.

Innobee99:
I met this lady in 2015 though she was very young and still young. She's 21 while am 28. I love and cherish her so much and despite her flaws she's the one I find comfortable to spend my days with. We have been having a lot of relationship issues which we do settle.

There are many issues she puts on which I won't want to mention here cuz I overlook her flaws and focus on her good side.

The problem is it seems she's not ready for marriage at all or maybe because she's still young and want to fulfill her youthful desires. Always want to be a slay Queen, contesting for beauty pageants even without my knowledge.

I have talked to her severally about my desire to marry her but only nod her head in affirmation but I think she's really not ready.

OK, last year we had a serious issue which we broke up cuz it was a real family war. But we later came back to together again despite I was not at fault and cuz of the love I have for her, I went to her mum to apologize over the issue so we can be one again. I told this lady to also visit my mum and apologize too but she has been procrastinating for a year now. She has not visited my family house over the year. Whenever I confront her on why she don't want to reconcile with my family, she will give flimsy excuses of been busy. How can one be busy for a whole one year to say sorry even if it's on phone.

Now, I met a lady few months ago, and I love her so much and she's ready to settle down with me next year December. And I knw this my stubborn babe is a very jealous type and I don't knw how to handle the issue and let her go since I have seen someone who's ready to settle down with me.

My babe is only interested in u flexing with her like taking her out to eateries, lodging her in a hotel for fun, buying her gifts without spending her own kobo on u (I can swear to that). Last year, I spent alot on her birthday but wen it was my birthday, the total of what she got for me was N700. N200 perfume and N500 Nivea Roll on. But that's not my business sha.

For example, this new babe requested me to give her 2k to make her hair for an event in Church which I bluntly ignored her just to test her, not that I don't have the money. Can u believe that this babe have even forgotten she asked me the money? And she talks to me perfectly on phone. She was like babe, if u don't have money don't stress urself ooooo, I'll repackage my hair and still look good to Church. If u don't send my babe money before the due time, she'll stop calling u.

The new babe is not after money or material things. Though I'll send her a reasonable amount today. Unlike my babe, who will bring down hell if u don't send her money before the deadline. Can u believe that in August, she had already brought her christmas list to me to check?

To cut all these short, I need mature mind on what to do on this cuz am confused. U can pour ur insults cuz I don't even bother abt that as far as I get the advise I want.

Stay blessed my beautiful NL family.

My advise u av not gotten a wife material yet I mean both of them cuz no one among them is yet to bring d spark in your eyes and u do likewise d same .

Shibaraba:
You don't need our advise as I can see you've advised yourself already. I won't judge the other leech for you know her well, but I'll say tread with caution. I have numerous examples of guys whose babes behave like yours.they end up not marrying. The secret is a lady who is interested in marrying you won't be looking for material things. For she believes she is saving for you. A lady who spends on you beloved you to be an investment. If she doesnt ask it means she is not looking for what she gains now. She is looking at the future. Don't let your dick think for you. Use your sound reasoning. As for me when you start billing me you Don turn sex doll be that. I go dey nack you at will. Christmas list.... Taaaaa. Even wives don't do that now

See small mind you go dey sleep with her,what of if she likes sex so much or you can't even satisfy her.

Hi. Are u working or do u have your own apartment. Are u still staying with your parents. I think both of u are still young to talk of marriage. But if u do have resources to pull through i can say go ahead. Your first girl friend is acting her age. Mind you women likes fine thing's. Money works with relationships or marriage. If u dont have enough prepares your heart for heart broken. Dont rush enjoy life first

Innobee99:
I met this lady in 2015 though she was very young and still young. She's 21 while am 28. I love and cherish her so much and despite her flaws she's the one I find comfortable to spend my days with. We have been having a lot of relationship issues which we do settle.

There are many issues she puts on which I won't want to mention here cuz I overlook her flaws and focus on her good side.

The problem is it seems she's not ready for marriage at all or maybe because she's still young and want to fulfill her youthful desires. Always want to be a slay Queen, contesting for beauty pageants even without my knowledge.

I have talked to her severally about my desire to marry her but only nod her head in affirmation but I think she's really not ready.

OK, last year we had a serious issue which we broke up cuz it was a real family war. But we later came back to together again despite I was not at fault and cuz of the love I have for her, I went to her mum to apologize over the issue so we can be one again. I told this lady to also visit my mum and apologize too but she has been procrastinating for a year now. She has not visited my family house over the year. Whenever I confront her on why she don't want to reconcile with my family, she will give flimsy excuses of been busy. How can one be busy for a whole one year to say sorry even if it's on phone.

Now, I met a lady few months ago, and I love her so much and she's ready to settle down with me next year December. And I knw this my stubborn babe is a very jealous type and I don't knw how to handle the issue and let her go since I have seen someone who's ready to settle down with me.

My babe is only interested in u flexing with her like taking her out to eateries, lodging her in a hotel for fun, buying her gifts without spending her own kobo on u (I can swear to that). Last year, I spent alot on her birthday but wen it was my birthday, the total of what she got for me was N700. N200 perfume and N500 Nivea Roll on. But that's not my business sha.

For example, this new babe requested me to give her 2k to make her hair for an event in Church which I bluntly ignored her just to test her, not that I don't have the money. Can u believe that this babe have even forgotten she asked me the money? And she talks to me perfectly on phone. She was like babe, if u don't have money don't stress urself ooooo, I'll repackage my hair and still look good to Church. If u don't send my babe money before the due time, she'll stop calling u.

The new babe is not after money or material things. Though I'll send her a reasonable amount today. Unlike my babe, who will bring down hell if u don't send her money before the deadline. Can u believe that in August, she had already brought her christmas list to me to check?

To cut all these short, I need mature mind on what to do on this cuz am confused. U can pour ur insults cuz I don't even bother abt that as far as I get the advise I want.

Stay blessed my beautiful NL family.

The chances that u will marry her are slim. She's still at an age where what matters is hair, makeup, flexing, latest this and that...and surprisingly u didn't mention that she will not be able to stay under one man meaning I expected u to mention that she has eyes for other guys...they call it crushing now...

Long and short girls at that age don't even know what they want in a man yet other than the things I mentioned above.

You have really tried as a man to be and preparing to be a husband.. the ball is now in your court if you still want the gold digger that doesn’t even have respect for your family or the lady that’s going to give you eternal happiness.. you don’t have to stress yourself on these, just seize your communication with her and by the tie she realizes your wedding card is already out...

Last year, I spent alot on her birthday but wen it was my birthday, the total of what she got for me was N700. N200 perfume and N500 Nivea Roll on.


Like someone has rightly said SHE'S A GOLD DIGGER

We know ladies like that. They still wanna enjoy life and flex. Good thing is that she is just 21 or how old did you say she is. She is in her "hoe phase". Every woman passes through that phase. By the time she is 27, then common sense will start to prevail. Ladies don't know that their shelf life is very short. Just like a footballer's shelf life.

Left to me, follow my words bruh.. if I were you, I will go with the second gurl I met. For the fact that she isn't materialist is a big plus for her... Don't ever marry that slay queen ooooo. Dating a slay queen is like HELL bruh. I am a living testimony to that.... A word is enough for the wise

@op
1. U keep referring to ur first babe as "my babe" and while u call the new girl differently...ok o . To me I think d first babe holds a special place in ur heart, u have to figure this out clearly before u move oncompletely.#my2cent
2. This perfect lady may have had her own share of wickedness before o, maybe or maybe not it still in her...#justsaying o
3. If u can date both of them for at least 6months without trouble I will advice u do. This way at least to extend u will know who u want for a wife.

Because op marriages no be small thing o, not in a scary way o, but then u need to shine ur eye, forget good girl matter or bad girl things . U need to check other compatibilities too.
#Godhelpu

@samhay

Innobee99:
I met this lady in 2015 though she was very young and still young. She's 21 while am 28. I love and cherish her so much and despite her flaws she's the one I find comfortable to spend my days with. We have been having a lot of relationship issues which we do settle.

There are many issues she puts on which I won't want to mention here cuz I overlook her flaws and focus on her good side.

The problem is it seems she's not ready for marriage at all or maybe because she's still young and want to fulfill her youthful desires. Always want to be a slay Queen, contesting for beauty pageants even without my knowledge.

I have talked to her severally about my desire to marry her but only nod her head in affirmation but I think she's really not ready.

OK, last year we had a serious issue which we broke up cuz it was a real family war. But we later came back to together again despite I was not at fault and cuz of the love I have for her, I went to her mum to apologize over the issue so we can be one again. I told this lady to also visit my mum and apologize too but she has been procrastinating for a year now. She has not visited my family house over the year. Whenever I confront her on why she don't want to reconcile with my family, she will give flimsy excuses of been busy. How can one be busy for a whole one year to say sorry even if it's on phone.

Now, I met a lady few months ago, and I love her so much and she's ready to settle down with me next year December. And I knw this my stubborn babe is a very jealous type and I don't knw how to handle the issue and let her go since I have seen someone who's ready to settle down with me.

My babe is only interested in u flexing with her like taking her out to eateries, lodging her in a hotel for fun, buying her gifts without spending her own kobo on u (I can swear to that). Last year, I spent alot on her birthday but wen it was my birthday, the total of what she got for me was N700. N200 perfume and N500 Nivea Roll on. But that's not my business sha.

For example, this new babe requested me to give her 2k to make her hair for an event in Church which I bluntly ignored her just to test her, not that I don't have the money. Can u believe that this babe have even forgotten she asked me the money? And she talks to me perfectly on phone. She was like babe, if u don't have money don't stress urself ooooo, I'll repackage my hair and still look good to Church. If u don't send my babe money before the due time, she'll stop calling u.

The new babe is not after money or material things. Though I'll send her a reasonable amount today. Unlike my babe, who will bring down hell if u don't send her money before the deadline. Can u believe that in August, she had already brought her christmas list to me to check?

To cut all these short, I need mature mind on what to do on this cuz am confused. U can pour ur insults cuz I don't even bother abt that as far as I get the advise I want.

Stay blessed my beautiful NL family.

Op, how old is the new babe?

At 21 the last thing a girl will think of is marriage. Please if you are ready and she is not move on na.

21 and married ma .?There are alot of things to still achieve has she finished school ?or worked to make a dime so she can know how difficult it is to work for the money.

She is still young and no one should blame the girl.
At 21 did you in anyway think of marriage and because you are ready you want her to be ready automatically abeg. Keep your marriage you may not be the right person for her anyways dont raise your ego because of marriage.
If you cant wait or rather be patient with her please move on its as simple as that

Someone's daughter is frolicking with this perverse op. Na wa o..

Date a woman closer to your age. 25 and up and stop wasting your time.

Innobee99:
I met this lady in 2015 though she was very young and still young. She's 21 while am 28. I love and cherish her so much and despite her flaws she's the one I find comfortable to spend my days with. We have been having a lot of relationship issues which we do settle.

There are many issues she puts on which I won't want to mention here cuz I overlook her flaws and focus on her good side.

The problem is it seems she's not ready for marriage at all or maybe because she's still young and want to fulfill her youthful desires. Always want to be a slay Queen, contesting for beauty pageants even without my knowledge.

I have talked to her severally about my desire to marry her but only nod her head in affirmation but I think she's really not ready.

OK, last year we had a serious issue which we broke up cuz it was a real family war. But we later came back to together again despite I was not at fault and cuz of the love I have for her, I went to her mum to apologize over the issue so we can be one again. I told this lady to also visit my mum and apologize too but she has been procrastinating for a year now. She has not visited my family house over the year. Whenever I confront her on why she don't want to reconcile with my family, she will give flimsy excuses of been busy. How can one be busy for a whole one year to say sorry even if it's on phone.

Now, I met a lady few months ago, and I love her so much and she's ready to settle down with me next year December. And I knw this my stubborn babe is a very jealous type and I don't knw how to handle the issue and let her go since I have seen someone who's ready to settle down with me.

My babe is only interested in u flexing with her like taking her out to eateries, lodging her in a hotel for fun, buying her gifts without spending her own kobo on u (I can swear to that). Last year, I spent alot on her birthday but wen it was my birthday, the total of what she got for me was N700. N200 perfume and N500 Nivea Roll on. But that's not my business sha.

For example, this new babe requested me to give her 2k to make her hair for an event in Church which I bluntly ignored her just to test her, not that I don't have the money. Can u believe that this babe have even forgotten she asked me the money? And she talks to me perfectly on phone. She was like babe, if u don't have money don't stress urself ooooo, I'll repackage my hair and still look good to Church. If u don't send my babe money before the due time, she'll stop calling u.

The new babe is not after money or material things. Though I'll send her a reasonable amount today. Unlike my babe, who will bring down hell if u don't send her money before the deadline. Can u believe that in August, she had already brought her christmas list to me to check?

To cut all these short, I need mature mind on what to do on this cuz am confused. U can pour ur insults cuz I don't even bother abt that as far as I get the advise I want.

Stay blessed my beautiful NL family.

Drop the slay queen and stick to the church girl unless you feel d devil u know is better than d angel you don't know.

Innobee99:
I met this lady in 2015 though she was very young and still young. She's 21 while am 28. I love and cherish her so much and despite her flaws she's the one I find comfortable to spend my days with. We have been having a lot of relationship issues which we do settle.

There are many issues she puts on which I won't want to mention here cuz I overlook her flaws and focus on her good side.

The problem is it seems she's not ready for marriage at all or maybe because she's still young and want to fulfill her youthful desires. Always want to be a slay Queen, contesting for beauty pageants even without my knowledge.

I have talked to her severally about my desire to marry her but only nod her head in affirmation but I think she's really not ready.

OK, last year we had a serious issue which we broke up cuz it was a real family war. But we later came back to together again despite I was not at fault and cuz of the love I have for her, I went to her mum to apologize over the issue so we can be one again. I told this lady to also visit my mum and apologize too but she has been procrastinating for a year now. She has not visited my family house over the year. Whenever I confront her on why she don't want to reconcile with my family, she will give flimsy excuses of been busy. How can one be busy for a whole one year to say sorry even if it's on phone.

Now, I met a lady few months ago, and I love her so much and she's ready to settle down with me next year December. And I knw this my stubborn babe is a very jealous type and I don't knw how to handle the issue and let her go since I have seen someone who's ready to settle down with me.

My babe is only interested in u flexing with her like taking her out to eateries, lodging her in a hotel for fun, buying her gifts without spending her own kobo on u (I can swear to that). Last year, I spent alot on her birthday but wen it was my birthday, the total of what she got for me was N700. N200 perfume and N500 Nivea Roll on. But that's not my business sha.

For example, this new babe requested me to give her 2k to make her hair for an event in Church which I bluntly ignored her just to test her, not that I don't have the money. Can u believe that this babe have even forgotten she asked me the money? And she talks to me perfectly on phone. She was like babe, if u don't have money don't stress urself ooooo, I'll repackage my hair and still look good to Church. If u don't send my babe money before the due time, she'll stop calling u.

The new babe is not after money or material things. Though I'll send her a reasonable amount today. Unlike my babe, who will bring down hell if u don't send her money before the deadline. Can u believe that in August, she had already brought her christmas list to me to check?

To cut all these short, I need mature mind on what to do on this cuz am confused. U can pour ur insults cuz I don't even bother abt that as far as I get the advise I want.

Stay blessed my beautiful NL family.

Congratulations for getting an option

Your former babe has something to do with her self and you, stopping her means you will be greatly affected

Every one has a dream and no one understands it better than the dreamer

So allow her to flex its not her fault she is seeing the future from a different perspective

Don't remind her of her apology to your family, it doesn't count for her

As this December is ending, use diplomacy and pull out so that you won't be sleeping with her yet you have gotten another one, it doesn't really work that way

As for your new babe, since she is better if than the former, start fashioning or moulding her to the standard you want her to be be

A lady who is prepared for marriage, will be humble and submissive to your instructions, so far you do that in a most respectable and organised manner

Good luck

Martinez39:
Common sense is indeed not common. Since your babe is not serious, why haven't you discarded her? When it comes to relationships, treat ladies like "properties". If they are not useful and thereby constitute a liability, discard them. If they are not serious, discard them. If they are toxic and not humble, discard them. Fvck love and start doing the right thing. Maintain her if she satisfies the following conditions :
1) She is useful,
2) She is serious about the relationship and wants to see it work. She is putting effort so that the relationship can work.

No girl is special, irreplaceable, indispensable, or the best thing to happen since slice bread. If a girl is misbehaving, toxic, and/or not serious, discard her for good. Never get so attached that you make a girl the centre of your life so much that you are unwilling to let her go or dump her when you ought to; you are willing to sacrifice your dreams for her; or you are willing to beg or follow any rule (by her) for her to love you and stay in a relationship with you.

Personally, I would advise you forget about relationship and focus on your goals and areas of self-improvement but since, like many, you want marriage and relationship, swallow my advice in the preceding paragraphs. Relationship is a waste of time, energy and money.

People come online to act a script, I truly pity anyone who takes this advice. Most online personalities are total opposites in the real world.