I met this lady in 2015 though she was very young and still young. She's 21 while am 28. I love and cherish her so much and despite her flaws she's the one I find comfortable to spend my days with. We have been having a lot of relationship issues which we do settle.

There are many issues she puts on which I won't want to mention here cuz I overlook her flaws and focus on her good side.

The problem is it seems she's not ready for marriage at all or maybe because she's still young and want to fulfill her youthful desires. Always want to be a slay Queen, contesting for beauty pageants even without my knowledge.

I have talked to her severally about my desire to marry her but only nod her head in affirmation but I think she's really not ready.

OK, last year we had a serious issue which we broke up cuz it was a real family war. But we later came back to together again despite I was not at fault and cuz of the love I have for her, I went to her mum to apologize over the issue so we can be one again. I told this lady to also visit my mum and apologize too but she has been procrastinating for a year now. She has not visited my family house over the year. Whenever I confront her on why she don't want to reconcile with my family, she will give flimsy excuses of been busy. How can one be busy for a whole one year to say sorry even if it's on phone.

Now, I met a lady few months ago, and I love her so much and she's ready to settle down with me next year December. And I knw this my stubborn babe is a very jealous type and I don't knw how to handle the issue and let her go since I have seen someone who's ready to settle down with me.

My babe is only interested in u flexing with her like taking her out to eateries, lodging her in a hotel for fun, buying her gifts without spending her own kobo on u (I can swear to that). Last year, I spent alot on her birthday but wen it was my birthday, the total of what she got for me was N700. N200 perfume and N500 Nivea Roll on. But that's not my business sha.

For example, this new babe requested me to give her 2k to make her hair for an event in Church which I bluntly ignored her just to test her, not that I don't have the money. Can u believe that this babe have even forgotten she asked me the money? And she talks to me perfectly on phone. She was like babe, if u don't have money don't stress urself ooooo, I'll repackage my hair and still look good to Church. If u don't send my babe money before the due time, she'll stop calling u.

The new babe is not after money or material things. Though I'll send her a reasonable amount today. Unlike my babe, who will bring down hell if u don't send her money before the deadline. Can u believe that in August, she had already brought her christmas list to me to check?

To cut all these short, I need mature mind on what to do on this cuz am confused. U can pour ur insults cuz I don't even bother abt that as far as I get the advise I want.

Stay blessed my beautiful NL family.

OP please follow your mind and preference... cause when the whole thing come crashing down after marriage you alone will feel the heat.

At 21 I was damn sure I will not be married in 3 years time, allow her enjoy her youthful age, and move on with the one you think is ready for you.

From your write up she's got plenty faults, pick one and dwell on it, then boom, break up comes calling.

P.S Refusing to apologise to your mum is enough reason to break up with her if that's what you wanna do, cause it's disrespect.

You don't need any advice...just do the right thing which you already know... the First Lady is not for you... And let all this mumu attitude with the opposite sex stop this year.

vikkimimi:
OP please follow your mind and preference... cause when the whole thing come crashing down after marriage you alone will feel the heat.

At 21 I was damn sure I will not be married in 3 years time, allow her enjoy her youthful age, and move on with the one you think is ready for you.

From your write up she's got plenty faults, pick one and dwell on it, then boom, break up comes calling.

P.S Refusing to apologise to your mum is enough reason to break up with her if that's what you wanna do, cause it's disrespect.

Thanks so much. I appreciate this little piece from u. My mum was on phone with her mum and was asking her mum while my babe will do such thing to me. Booom, next was ur mum is saying rubbish and my mum heard her from behind.

2special:
You don't need any advice...just do the right thing which you already know... the First Lady is not for you... And let all this mumu attitude with the opposite sex stop this year.

Thanks

Leave that girl alone and go after a woman.

I know of a girl who got married at 21, now, after two children, babe deh lock her kids for house dey go club when her husband no dey. Na different guys dey flat her, for street.

There are some youthful exuberance that should be enjoyed before anyone marries. Allow her enjoy it in peace mbok.

Ok, just wondering why you are still bordering urself about a lady who finds it difficult to apologise to your family. Anyways, since she like flirting then engage her at such now!! But remember to protect urself #Condom.

She was just 16 when you started dating her, YOU ARE A PERVERT.

Bro,there is not advise her to give you,everything is clear before you,just apply wisdom in pushing the former girl out of your life.

sweetonugbu:
She was just 16 when you started dating her, YOU ARE A PERVERT.

Shif go one side

marlow1962:

Shif go one side

teenage girls are not safe in your area, please where do you stay?.

Dear OP

At 21, most Nigerian girls are still confused as to what they exactly want. Secondly they are still in a character forming stage which means that aside the upbringing by their parents , it's going to take a lot of pratical mistakes and experiences for them to truly understand how to properly behave and that trial and error method would take a lot of years .

Regardless though, it's obvious she does not love you nor your family and has no interest in having a future with you . She is with you for what she can get and all the qualities you just listed are that of a gold-digger.

Break up with her ASAP and don't look back if you don't wana regret for the rest of your life . Go ahead with this second one and go on to be happy cuz she is ready , she knows what she wants and she is not bringing money drama.

In situations like this , you shouldn't be confused . It's cristal clear who would give you peace of mind .


That 21 would cheat the hell out of you if you succeed in marrying her and by the time she is 25/27, she will accuse you of denying her her youthful blah blah and being possessive . Don't go down that lane .


Good luck

Innobee99:
Ur brain is still at Shiloh auditorium while U're on NL

it's not why can't you guys go for matured ladies, if you have a daughter will be comfortable sleeping around and going out with good for nothing tout like you?.

Classyuniquebae:
Dear OP

At 21, most Nigerian girls are still confused as to what they exactly want. Secondly they are still in a character forming stage which means that aside the upbringing by their parents , it's going to take a lot of pratical mistakes and experiences for them to truly understand how to properly behave and that trial and error method would take a lot of years .

Regardless though, it's obvious she does not love you nor your family and has no interest in having a future with you . She is with you for what she can get and all the qualities you just listed are that of a gold-digger.

Break up with her ASAP and don't look back if you don't wana regret for the rest of your life . Go ahead with this second one and go on to be happy cuz she is ready , she knows what she wants and she is not bringing money drama.

In situations like this , you shouldn't be confused . It's cristal clear who would give you peace of mind .


That 21 would cheat the hell out of you if you succeed in marrying her and by the time she is 25/27, she will accuse you of denying her her youthful blah blah and being possessive . Don't go down that lane .


Good luck

U have said it all... Thanks a bunch

vikkimimi:
OP please follow your mind and preference... cause when the whole thing come crashing down after marriage you alone will feel the heat.

At 21 I was damn sure I will not be married in 3 years time, allow her enjoy her youthful age, and move on with the one you think is ready for you.

From your write up she's got plenty faults, pick one and dwell on it, then boom, break up comes calling.

P.S Refusing to apologise to your mum is enough reason to break up with her if that's what you wanna do, cause it's disrespect.

Babe, you get sense

Innobee99:
How old was ur mum wen ur dad started entering her?

If you come here to look for help and you can't ignore little flings of banters on you.... I think, you are the real problem the first girl isn't really into you.....


Perhaps, she just want to milk you until you get a sense......

Romanoff:
Leave that girl alone and go after a woman.

I know of a girl who got married at 21, now, after two children, babe deh lock her kids for house dey go club when her husband no dey. Na different guys dey flat her, for street.

There are some youthful exuberance that should be enjoyed before anyone marries. Allow her enjoy it in peace mbok.

thank you my sister, my annoyance is that the girl is 21, and they have been together for 5 years, remove 5 from 21=16

yanabasee:



If you come here to look for help and you can't ignore little flings of banters on you.... I think, you are the real problem the first girl isn't really into you.....


Perhaps, she just want to milk you until you get a sense......

Ride on

Very simple, don't grant the former girl any of her Christmas wishes, she will just break up with you. Stop feeding a python that will swallow you tomorrow.

your 21yrs old babe just want your money, she clearly isn't interested in Marriage for now and to be honest with you she isn't ready for marriage she neva mature, to her you are like a sugar daddy with the spending. I'm very confident to tell you she has younger lovers in her life. my advice to you is to remove the thought of marrying her and look for some one a bit more mature 24yrs + .
my brother wise up

sweetonugbu:
thank you my sister, my annoyance is that the girl is 21, and they have been together for 5 years, remove 5 from 21=16

I never did anything outside the consent of her parents OK? Asking her out at 16 doesn't mean I was sleeping around with her. Besides we stay far away from each in different states. And I may not even see her up to 2 times in a year. So don't crucify me biko

Gettreadyy:
your 21yrs old babe just want your money, she clearly isn't interested in Marriage for now and to be honest with you she isn't ready for marriage she neva mature, to her you are like a sugar daddy with the spending. I'm very confident to tell you she has younger lovers in her life. my advice to you is to remove the thought of marrying her and look for some one a bit more mature 24yrs + .
my brother wise up

Thanks alot

Bro Go and make money

Wen you have money
She will be serious and anxious to get married to you

Going by your write up, you don’t need any advice. What u need is for u to creat time for yourself and think well. If everything you’ve written is true, trust me, u need no advice. You already know what to do. So go ahead and do that which your heart is telling u. O dabo

Innobee99:
Thanks alot

you welcome bro

Innobee99:
I met this lady in 2015 though she was very young and still young. She's 21 while am 28. I love and cherish her so much and despite her flaws she's the one I find comfortable to spend my days with. We have been having alot of relationship issues which we do settle.
There are many issues she puts on which I won't want to mention here cuz I overlook her flaws and focus on her good side. The problem is seems she's not ready for marriage at all or maybe because she's still young and want to fulfill her youthful desires. Always want to be a slay Queen, contesting for beauty pageants even without my knowledge.
I have talked to her severally about my desire to marry her but only nod her head in affirmation but I think she's really not ready.
OK, last year we had a serious issue which we broke up cuz it was a real family war. But we later came back to together again despite I was not at fault and cuz of the love I have for her, I went to her mum to apologize over the issue so we can be one again. I told this lady to also visit my mum and apologize too but she has been procrastinating for a year now. She has not visited my family house over the year. Whenever I confront her on why she don't want to reconcile with my family, she will give flimsy excuses of been busy. How can one be busy for a whole one year to say sorry even if it's on phone.
Now, I met a lady few months ago, and I love her so much and she's ready to settle down with me next year December. And I knw this my stubborn babe is a very jealous type and I don't knw how to handle the issue and let her go since I have seen someone who's ready to settle down with me.
My babe is only interested in u flexing with her like taking her out to eateries, lodging her in a hotel for fun, buying her gifts without spending her own kobo on u (I can swear to that). Last year, I spent alot on her birthday but wen it was my birthday, the total of what she got for me was N700. N200 perfume and N500 Nivea Roll on. But that's not my business sha.
For example, this new babe requested me to give her 2k to make her hair for an event in Church which I bluntly ignored her just to test her, not that I dont have the money. Can u believe that this babe have even forgotten she asked me the money? And she talks to me perfectly on phone. She was like babe, if u don't have money don't stress urself ooooo, I'll repackage my hair and still look good to Church. If u don't send my babe money before the due time, she'll stop calling u. The new babe is not after money or material things. Though I'll send her a reasonable amount today. Unlike my babe, who will bring down hell if u don't send her money before the deadline. Can u believe that in August, she had already brought her christmas list to me to check?
To cut all these short, I need mature mind on what to do on this cuz am confused. U can pour ur insults cuz I don't even bother abt that as far as I get the advise I want.
Stay blessed my beautiful NL family.

You don't need our advise as I can see you've advised yourself already. I won't judge the other leech for you know her well, but I'll say tread with caution. I have numerous examples of guys whose babes behave like yours.they end up not marrying. The secret is a lady who is interested in marrying you won't be looking for material things. For she believes she is saving for you. A lady who spends on you beloved you to be an investment. If she doesnt ask it means she is not looking for what she gains now. She is looking at the future. Don't let your dick think for you. Use your sound reasoning. As for me when you start billing me you Don turn sex doll be that. I go dey nack you at will. Christmas list.... Taaaaa. Even wives don't do that now

u know what to do, it's d courage to do it dat is lacking

Common sense is indeed not common. Since your babe is not serious, why haven't you discarded her? When it comes to relationships, treat ladies like "properties". If they are not useful and thereby constitute a liability, discard them. If they are not serious, discard them. If they are toxic and not humble, discard them. Fvck love and start doing the right thing. Maintain her if she satisfies the following conditions :
1) She is useful,
2) She is serious about the relationship and wants to see it work. She is putting effort so that the relationship can work.

No girl is special, irreplaceable, indispensable, or the best thing to happen since slice bread. If a girl is misbehaving, toxic, and/or not serious, discard her for good. Never get so attached that you make a girl the centre of your life so much that you are unwilling to let her go or dump her when you ought to; you are willing to sacrifice your dreams for her; or you are willing to beg or follow any rule (by her) for her to love you and stay in a relationship with you.

Personally, I would advise you forget about relationship and focus on your goals and areas of self-improvement but since, like many, you want marriage and relationship, swallow my advice in the preceding paragraphs. Relationship is a waste of time, energy and money.