₦airaland Forum

Fountainofyouth:
Bitterness will eat the whole of your body, leaving your slimy eyes untouched

Arsenate:
A sea of tears on this thread. Just what women thrive on; victimhood. No sympathy from me though. I bet you ladies turned down a lot of good guys because they were boring, only to get burnt by sweet talking fuckerrrs. I also bet you will fall for the same kind of men if they show up in your lives again.

Goes without saying, when you start taking a little responsibility for your dumb decisions in life, sane folks might probably sympathise with you.

But for now, boo fuckkking hoo.

This is fucking harsh and brutal dude.

Ishilove:
Wow...

Arsenate:
Yeah, I should be the one ashamed not those opening their legs for playboys.

Brilliant

okirewaju:
@ehiblessing

Where the signs there before you got married or you both never dated?

ehiblessing:
No sign of the beating or emotional abuse at all till like a week to our wedding we had a little disagreement and he kind of dragged me within me i thought it was the marriage stress.we didn't date for long and coupled with the fact that we where in different state then

SteveOfu:
My dad refused me getting married to the love of my life then saying he is too old( 34yrs) and much exposed for my age .He was a personal assistant to Abia state Governor then. I was only 16 and felt I have arrived been fiancé to such person.He cherished me. Truthfully,he never touched me.

Few weeks after,,he traveled for business promising to convince my dad on his return. My father's refusal made me stubborn, I didn't want be around my home cos their over Christian life was making them see everything in another view,i cannot confide in my late mum without getting this look of you must be like a rev in this home. so i ran to my girlfriend's house. She was about 4yrs older than I was then but my body structure made us look like age mates. She convinced me to follow her to PH for her birthday party. Didn't know I was been arranged for her boyfriend's brother.
I was drunk ,first time anyways and he took advantage of me. By morning he was apologizing and professing love and wanting to date me... begged me to take him to my home I refused. I was confused,the love of my life is coming home the next week.how will I face him. I went home,my parents were angry with me but still didn't care to know how I feel, what I wanted but happy I came home alive.

Two weeks later I noticed I was pregnant,i opened up to my man and he said"mummy,do not ever ever tell anyone what happened,this child is mine and it's going to be reason your dad will let me marry you." We hide the pregnancy till it was 6 months,then he came again but my dad stubbornly turned him down again claiming my people don't give out a pregnant woman in marriage till I deliver.

After the delivery of my son whose birthday is today too ,my dad said he is free to marry me but without the boy. He made some underground plan to send us to his mum abroad if after talking to my dad with some relations and it didn't work out. He traveled to his village(Item) to get an uncle to help talk to my dad only for him to come back poisoned,he died two days after 6 months after,i got admission for a preliminary course in fedpoly campus. My parents took my child and I went back to school.avoided men like plague,finished my study then proceeded for my OND. After my OND finals, I went home for my aunty's burial,there I met my daughter's father. He tried everything for us to date and I refused then went ahead to tell him my story. He felt pity on me (so I thought Sha). He started visiting me in school more often, giving me listening ears and all that I lack from home.
I decided to give him a chance.

One month into the relationship, I took in, told him and he asked me to get an abortion because he is from my late aunty's compound,I ran to my cousin who is also his cousin and he called for a meeting. This guy who has been pestering me, traveling all the way from Abuja to Oko to see had the guts to tell everyone present that i am a good girl but he has a fiancé he wants to marry.
When asked the way forward, he said he will do what my people call "agbachaa afo ime"(no English na for it but a kinda way of he has nothing to do with the child and the amount for that was 20k then). I didn't know if I should start crying. I cursed him in tears.
My mum said her pain was she nursed this boy in question while babysitting her elder sister's children in that compound, his own mother pleaded with him to take me as his wife but he was adamant. My dad rejected the money,we left. He warned him never to smell our compound.

I had my daughter 29th January 2004 ,her dad had accident that day, shop burnt, container lost in the sea, the girl left him one month later for his friend then he ran back to me. Begged for marriage but no, not for me, all I did was lift the curse, out of joy he said he will never get married till I do and he kept the promise. My mum started pestering me to accept a suitor, to please her I did in 2013 and by 2016 the marriage ended.
So now,i am happily single.I don't ever want to get married.

This is how I became a single mum of 2 champions,though I will never let anyone I know go through it..

cococandy:
Woman hate, misogyny, all kinds of degrading comments so easily fly off the fingers of some of you. And that’s normal. No biggie. Just another day.

In your mind now, there’s nothing wrong with this your obviously demeaning anti-woman post.

Watch you start frothing at the lips the moment someone gives you back half the insults that were so casually loaded in your post.
Instead of you to go find another thread to go do your usual things you’re here .
Ask yourself if you’re a single mom and what your post adds to this thread.

CHoccolaTE:
Some people lack manners and common sense

This thread could have been a great Avenue for people to learn from others life experience and make decisions for themselves
Somebody even said he learnt that teenage girls need attention and hands on parenting which is a positive lesson to pick from this type of thread

But alas the epidemic of women bashing in nairaland has ruined a good thread again. Even without monetary benefits a thread like this is valuable and those sharing stories should be welcomed and treated decently, and encouraged to hang in there for their kids, never neglect then for any relationship and so on, because they are survivors and it isn't easy for anyone to come forward and tell a story with such a sensitive topic.


So many foolish people on this site I swear.

To all those who shared stories,
Iyatola
Blazing12345
Mumnatasha11
Desan
Steveofu
Purpletee
Hamachi
Others,
Sorry if I forgot to add you,

May God give you strength to carry on and raise your kids, bless you with money and emotional stability and goodhealth, give your kids a very bright future to bring smiles to your faces in old age and as a reward for your hard work.
Amen

Alooone:
Mine is more or less of betrayal and man's imminent wickedness...
I got married to my husband in 2013 at the age of 22, then I was still in school... We ttcd for 2years before I gave birth to my daughter in 2015... In 2017 I got pregnant for my son and we packed into our new house (that's where all my problem started).... We had this neighbour that for no reason at all just hated me,...right from day one her complain about me has always been "u too dey pose".....its either you are posing with your husband or you are posing with your child or even your belle..... We nearly packed out because of them.... Shortly before I gave birth I had a dream in which I saw a cat enter into our bedroom and disappeared into my leg... The first attack happened 2weeks after I gave birth to my son then my mum came for omugwo... She was the one that took me to the hospital.... The doctor diagnosed "puperuim psychosis"...after then it has been one attack to the other... When it got to the extent that I have started talking to myself in public unknowingly... I had to run for my dear life... I packed a few of my belongings and RAN with my kids to my parent's house... Now you could ask where was my husband when all this was happening... My people instead of my husband to quench the fire he was busy adding petrol to it... He told whoever that cares to know how I was MAD... According to him he feels "deceived" and "cheated" as he feels my parents knew about my "sickness "before we got married but nobody told him about it. .. It turned to full physical and verbal abuse as he felt saddled with such a liability like me...everyday he reminded me how I was a "regret " to him and told my children how he was going to marry a new mother that will take care of them and was looking for every way possible to frustrate me out of the marriage , because He practically saw it as an "opportunity "
I'm currently staying with my parents and my prayer every day is God should give me the heart to forgive my husband....but it's not easy... Someone we ttcd together and I went through a lot for... as for my neighbour am still praying for her, my God will fight for me... Sometimes I feel like going diabolical cos all these is unfair... I come from a Good,decent Catholic home and prayerful .....just payed for my daughter's school fees (she is an ace student) and saving for my Masters because when I remember all I have passed it further motivates me to aim higher..
Still love my husband though... Sometimes I'm filled with hate for him other times I love him... As for the psychosis ALL the symptoms are gone.
Single motherhood is not what I will wish on my enemy... If you like let it be 500percent the man's fault there will always be a stigma associated with a divorcee....



..

egopersonified:
When you think you have a story, then open this thread and find that your story is just a single sentence.

Winneygirl:
Abuse in marriage...
I'm still trying to understand why/how that keeps happening. As a child of a broken home, I have seen this first hand and it is crazy.
Also, I have seen men who physically abuse their wives, and a number of them come from abusive homes too. Especially where the woman is asked to 'endure' for the sake of her kids.
But are the kids turning out any better?
.
How do we expect children of homes filled with hate, violence, and oppression to build loving homes?
How?
How??

Fountainofyouth:
I was actually feeling sad and flowing with your story, until I reached the last part, you actually jumped from one to fifty, I. E

You were living with your parents when you MIL called, all of a sudden, she showed you hell, who? Is it your parents or MIL that refused to see or talk to you?

You ran out of the house, what happen to going back to your parents? Why allow your child and you suffer unnecessarily by living in a shop when you have parents?

What happen to Oga in the abroad? E don go back or e deny your child?

And lastly, why did you register today, with this your post being the only comment you've made, then use a catching moniker to buttress the fact that you are a mama to a daughter?

Well I'm not saying you're lying oooo...... burr......oh well..... the lord is your strength.

MumNatasha11:
to answer ur question, it was my mil that refused seeing or talking to me, my mum started maltreating me when she learnt I was pregnant because of her post in church, her maltreatment made me run away. I can't go back to my parents because I have made all effort to do that but we weren't welcomed, and for the father of my daughter, he didn't deny the pregnancy, but never asked after me nor the baby ever again. If u think am lying, my shop is at 83 Rumuola/rumuokuta , opposite first bank. Lastly I registered today because a friend that knows what we are going through sent me the link to try my luck

thorpido:
The single moms here can send me a DM.
I have something to send to you even if it is a token.

pweedie:
Thinking about the way I became a single mum I don't think I will ever make such mistake again. Let's go back memory lane. I was young, foolish and was in love. It was after secondary school. Travelled down to my aunt place to rewrite my waec then. There was this guy we do talk almost every Night in Lagos then close to my house ( that was extra cool era then). August 2007 I travelled back Lagos for my mum's birthday and we had sex for the first time and that was it. I didn't know anything about contraceptive drugs. I just took salt and water thinking that was it. I travelled back to Ibadan to my aunt's place. The following month I noticed during the time for my Menstrual period I was spotting. I thought it was normal. It was so for three months. Just spotting. I couldn't confide in my aunt for fear of what will happen. Came back home and told my mum. She took me for pregnancy test and that's how we were told I was 5 months in. I wanted to die that moment. I felt my life has finished. I was just 19. The bashing came, the guy denied saying he slept with me once. The horror was much. My dad was late also. My mum had no job or something doing.
I started teaching in my primary school around with my neco results (paid 5,000)/ added home lessons with some pupils. Through this means I stared gathering money together to buy Baby things/ food at home etc. God saw me through. I birthed twins(2 boys) April 2008, one died and was left with one. That same year wrote jamb from my savings, gained admission into the university. It's been God this 11 years. We both fine, we good. It's been me and him without his father help. When I look at him I just smile and appreciate God in our lives. This is us

MumNatasha11:
to answer ur question, it was my mil that refused seeing or talking to me, my mum started maltreating me when she learnt I was pregnant because of her post in church, her maltreatment made me run away. I can't go back to my parents because I have made all effort to do that but we weren't welcomed, and for the father of my daughter, he didn't deny the pregnancy, but never asked after me nor the baby ever again. If u think am lying, my shop is at 83 Rumuola/rumuokuta , opposite first bank. Lastly I registered today because a friend that knows what we are going through sent me the link to try my luck

Graxie:
For every single mother here, do your child a favor by locating the sperm donor for child support, go all out. Try welfare and ministry of women affairs, don't raise these kids alone. They will still go back to their father when they grow up just to hear his own side of the story. They might even hate you for manipulating them against their father, wake up. Stop suffering alone, if possible drop the children with their father while you visit once in awhile. Don't tell me you can't trust him with your child, but you trust him enough to have child with him. Stop putting your life on hold, moreso, you can't even go into reasonable relationship without being stigmatise. Our society makes life unbearable for single moms. Be wise!!!

Mindfulness:
I am curious. How can you make a man who refuses to take responsibility for his own child pay?

@bold
Unless we share custody and the man is responsible and trustworthy, I would rather not eat than leave my child with him. Have you got children?

Graxie:
I have got 3 children and I will leave them with their father incase of such scenario.

Mindfulness:
You want to "drop" your children somewhere they are not wanted?

Graxie:
How do you know they are not wanted? How many of the single mom gave the men the option of dropping the kids? Atleast none have said so.

Graxie:
How do you know they are not wanted? How many of the single mom gave the men the option of dropping the kids? Atleast none have said so.

Mindfulness:
If they were wanted the men in question wouldn't disappear. Simple logic.

pweedie:
done. Thanks