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Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him - Family (10) - Nairaland

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As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids / I Have Decided To Marry Her Corpse / Finally!! I Moved Out Of My Parents House!! (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Nobody: 9:50pm On Dec 15, 2019
Motirayo2018:
I was once in it, so I know how you feel

Leave so you can remain sane

Pls contact your parent so they would be at peace

Raise your children with love and the word of God
Your Children grin
Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Nobody: 9:53pm On Dec 15, 2019
AwkaetitiBabe:
It's for those who got d spirit of discernment.
grin wink
You can't decode some pretenders!!! No matter how sound you are..
Especially the beautiful girls and the suave guys!!
Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Nobody: 9:57pm On Dec 15, 2019
24kmagic:


This has nothing to do with Christianity or religion. I fall into that "casual Christian" category. I don't go to church nor read the Bible, but not many active Christians live a more just life than me. I was born and brought up a Christian, but somethings about Christianity and religion as a whole doesn't feel right to me. My religion right now is HUMANITY. Your husband lacks humanity. I can't treat a human being like this, not to talk of my wife and mother of my kids.

I wish you well in whatever you decide to do but like someone above said, do this legally before it backfires.
Your Children will have no religion be dat shocked shocked
Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Nobody: 9:58pm On Dec 15, 2019
Annie001:

You deserve the award of the most stupid and senseless write up of the year
Your sense of reasoning is so poor, you need to check in to the nearest hospital

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Nobody: 10:01pm On Dec 15, 2019
rawfact:
Kindheartedd, this is going to be very long and deep so don't just scan through. My guess is that you are married to a Yoruba man. I can't tell the tribe you are from. But whether you are also Yoruba or not, you need to know who a Yoruba husband is, whether he is in church or not. Because church or whatever will never take his culture away from him. "Husband" according to Yoruba Culture is know as Ade Ori (Crown) of the Woman, and not just Head as declared in the bible. You can't afford to raise your voice back at him or those other nonsense I read from your previous post. He must have tolerated all that while waiting for you to outgrow them. Because such is for Boyfriend/Girlfriend Stuff - never a Yoruba Marriage. You will have to learn on how to humbly follow his lead. After all, you trusted his leadership before saying yes to his marriage proposal.

With that said as an introduction, you will permit me to abuse you where necessary despite the fact that you seem to hate such. Meanwhile, learn that abuse from a loved one that is above one (parents, elders, husband, uncle and co) is for one's good and never an evil nor intended as such. This is Africa for goodness sake and not some white man's land, where the wife throws out the husband out of his house while his kids calls him by his first name or even shuts him up. Even some good friends can abuse someone to stop one from making a wrong decision. No wonder your bible recorded that the sting of a friend is better than the kiss of an enemy. Anyway, I took out time to read many comments on your thread and I really commend the likes of Newguyhere, Triniti, TheRedpillguy, PrinceMajestic, tunjilana and a few others who were not timid to serve you raw facts. The rest commenters literally boosted your pride.

If you are Yoruba, certainly you will understand those that are mocked as "Iyawo Asiko" (modern wife). I am going to give you an excerpt of your words and remark each, not for you because I dare say that you will resent each remark but it is particularly for the single ladies you could dare advise.

My plan is to totally leave the state we live now to a different state to start life all over with my kids. I work, I will make sure they have the best. I won't let my family know my whereabouts. Change my phone number and live a new life.

You bear "Kindheartedd" as moniker but this plan of yours alone reveals the opposite. Firstly, you want to abscond from a husband (not a boyfriend). Meaning of that culturally is running or deserting the one that paid dowry over your head and received you into his lineage (not just family), not as a girlfriend or baby mama but as the glorified (wife). Aunty, I hail you! Secondly, you used the expression "my kids". Very laughable. Culturally, those children (particularly the male) belongs to your husband's lineage which you are now part of if you are genuinely in it. Therefore, those kids belong wholly to your husband first, before your very self who happened to carry his sperm (child) for 9 months before delivery. You claim to be a christian but you certainly have no idea of the spirituality of marriage nor acknowledge fatherhood or headship of your husband over your household. Who will fix that rot in your mind? Certainly not God, aunty but your very self if you would. Finally on that, you plan to have the best not minding if it will destroy lives (your husband and the kids), changing phone number and living a new life. Some commenters that chose to be honest with you labelled the act selfish. I particularly recommend you get natural therapy for mental health.

I do not want any one to link me up with him again. I hate him now. I have heard enough, enough of abuse. He's done more damage to me than good. His is proud and ungrateful.

Listen, followers command the leadership they get. Whether family, company, state, or nation. Mere humility from you will change this same statement of yours to "He is loving, caring, wonderful though difficult to understand at times". Also, know that many Nigerian husbands really get cocky when denied sex by their wives. Too much testosterone in the body as some puts it. Some manage it well while some really get cocky and wouldn't tell the woman. But give your man good sex regularly and stay humble and watch that statement change. Never forget this: Yoruba husbands get very cocky on arrogant wives.


He is owing me a lot of money but I can let go.
Your "Ade Ori" is owing you money? As in your husband? Who owns you and your money? Or are you building another family outside the one he is heading? Sister, you are not ready for Yoruba marriage yet o. Listen, if your husband that is carrying the weight of the house as the head, whether you are supporting or not, borrows money from you, particularly for that household, in your mind, settle it that you contributed and not that you borrowed him. Even if he ended up using the money on himself. Lots of girlfriends looking forward to a guy having serious relationship with them or even marrying them do lots for the guy without feeling owed nor trumpeting it around. Abeg, give yourself peace in your head because it's obvious you carried lots of garbage from Telemundo, feminist and other "fake lives" into your marriage (reality).


I want to teach him a hard lesson by leaving with my kids before he return from work on Monday.
Your Husband (Ade Ori) o. Not even just a lesson but a hard lesson. Aunty, you need serious mental checkup. Your brain is filled with explosive pride. At this point, I think your husband should just release you back to your people through divorce so that the court can oversee the issue of child custody because it's obvious your brain cannot be humbled. Your stubbornness and arrogance is something else. Even the verbal abuse (though not the best) your husband use regularly to check/reduce the depth of those bad-luck characters is also taken wrongly. For you trying to even change your number from friends and family that could change your heart also confirms that your husband can never succeed over you. This is why fathers shouldn't spoil their daughters before giving them out in marriage. They become a pain in the head of the gullible men that marries them. Daughter wey dey shout back at hin papa, go do more for hin husband. Some wives will be competing with their husbands rather than complementing his leadership, causing unnecessary problems, particularly for the kids. See, you practically want to lead yourself, and your financial capability is also strengthening you in your rebellion. This is why a humble woman that has no money cannot really be termed humble. In fact, you entered into that marriage mistakenly, maybe for the wedding dress, ring or kids - never for the mission marriage requires, that is, if your husband ever communicated that to you. And if he did, I dare say your type will gladly rebel.

I don't want to quote others again because I know it is worthless for you and several of your supporters. But I know one graceful lady out there whether churchy or not will pick wisdom from my remarks when it is time for her to build her own home. Your bible records that a foolish woman destroys her home while the wise one builds it. Not a foolish man o. Go and search for where it is in your bible. If you hurt or destroy your home as a woman, you will be the chief beneficiary. Same way, if you avoid satan building a castle in your mind and heart through stubbornness and arrogance, you will certainly be the most beneficiary of a happy and joyous home whether u dey go church or not.

Fish head 1mbecilic epistle.

2 Likes

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Nickymichy(m): 10:09pm On Dec 15, 2019
U don't understand.... Ds still loves her husband... Just dat right now she needs to go perhaps he will realise his mistakes,know her worth and look for her....I just pray dat God should intervene in their marriage..any decision dat will bring peace is supported

1 Like

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by healthserve(m): 10:11pm On Dec 15, 2019
rawfact:
Kindheartedd, this is going to be very long and deep so don't just scan through. My guess is that you are married to a Yoruba man. I can't tell the tribe you are from. But whether you are also Yoruba or not, you need to know who a Yoruba husband is, whether he is in church or not. Because church or whatever will never take his culture away from him. "Husband" according to Yoruba Culture is know as Ade Ori (Crown) of the Woman, and not just Head as declared in the bible. You can't afford to raise your voice back at him or those other nonsense I read from your previous post. He must have tolerated all that while waiting for you to outgrow them. Because such is for Boyfriend/Girlfriend Stuff - never a Yoruba Marriage. You will have to learn on how to humbly follow his lead. After all, you trusted his leadership before saying yes to his marriage proposal.

With that said as an introduction, you will permit me to abuse you where necessary despite the fact that you seem to hate such. Meanwhile, learn that abuse from a loved one that is above one (parents, elders, husband, uncle and co) is for one's good and never an evil nor intended as such. This is Africa for goodness sake and not some white man's land, where the wife throws out the husband out of his house while his kids calls him by his first name or even shuts him up. Even some good friends can abuse someone to stop one from making a wrong decision. No wonder your bible recorded that the sting of a friend is better than the kiss of an enemy. Anyway, I took out time to read many comments on your thread and I really commend the likes of Newguyhere, Triniti, TheRedpillguy, PrinceMajestic, tunjilana and a few others who were not timid to serve you raw facts. The rest commenters literally boosted your pride.

If you are Yoruba, certainly you will understand those that are mocked as "Iyawo Asiko" (modern wife). I am going to give you an excerpt of your words and remark each, not for you because I dare say that you will resent each remark but it is particularly for the single ladies you could dare advise.

My plan is to totally leave the state we live now to a different state to start life all over with my kids. I work, I will make sure they have the best. I won't let my family know my whereabouts. Change my phone number and live a new life.

You bear "Kindheartedd" as moniker but this plan of yours alone reveals the opposite. Firstly, you want to abscond from a husband (not a boyfriend). Meaning of that culturally is running or deserting the one that paid dowry over your head and received you into his lineage (not just family), not as a girlfriend or baby mama but as the glorified (wife). Aunty, I hail you! Secondly, you used the expression "my kids". Very laughable. Culturally, those children (particularly the male) belongs to your husband's lineage which you are now part of if you are genuinely in it. Therefore, those kids belong wholly to your husband first, before your very self who happened to carry his sperm (child) for 9 months before delivery. You claim to be a christian but you certainly have no idea of the spirituality of marriage nor acknowledge fatherhood or headship of your husband over your household. Who will fix that rot in your mind? Certainly not God, aunty but your very self if you would. Finally on that, you plan to have the best not minding if it will destroy lives (your husband and the kids), changing phone number and living a new life. Some commenters that chose to be honest with you labelled the act selfish. I particularly recommend you get natural therapy for mental health.

I do not want any one to link me up with him again. I hate him now. I have heard enough, enough of abuse. He's done more damage to me than good. His is proud and ungrateful.

Listen, followers command the leadership they get. Whether family, company, state, or nation. Mere humility from you will change this same statement of yours to "He is loving, caring, wonderful though difficult to understand at times". Also, know that many Nigerian husbands really get cocky when denied sex by their wives. Too much testosterone in the body as some puts it. Some manage it well while some really get cocky and wouldn't tell the woman. But give your man good sex regularly and stay humble and watch that statement change. Never forget this: Yoruba husbands get very cocky on arrogant wives.


He is owing me a lot of money but I can let go.
Your "Ade Ori" is owing you money? As in your husband? Who owns you and your money? Or are you building another family outside the one he is heading? Sister, you are not ready for Yoruba marriage yet o. Listen, if your husband that is carrying the weight of the house as the head, whether you are supporting or not, borrows money from you, particularly for that household, in your mind, settle it that you contributed and not that you borrowed him. Even if he ended up using the money on himself. Lots of girlfriends looking forward to a guy having serious relationship with them or even marrying them do lots for the guy without feeling owed nor trumpeting it around. Abeg, give yourself peace in your head because it's obvious you carried lots of garbage from Telemundo, feminist and other "fake lives" into your marriage (reality).


I want to teach him a hard lesson by leaving with my kids before he return from work on Monday.
Your Husband (Ade Ori) o. Not even just a lesson but a hard lesson. Aunty, you need serious mental checkup. Your brain is filled with explosive pride. At this point, I think your husband should just release you back to your people through divorce so that the court can oversee the issue of child custody because it's obvious your brain cannot be humbled. Your stubbornness and arrogance is something else. Even the verbal abuse (though not the best) your husband use regularly to check/reduce the depth of those bad-luck characters is also taken wrongly. For you trying to even change your number from friends and family that could change your heart also confirms that your husband can never succeed over you. This is why fathers shouldn't spoil their daughters before giving them out in marriage. They become a pain in the head of the gullible men that marries them. Daughter wey dey shout back at hin papa, go do more for hin husband. Some wives will be competing with their husbands rather than complementing his leadership, causing unnecessary problems, particularly for the kids. See, you practically want to lead yourself, and your financial capability is also strengthening you in your rebellion. This is why a humble woman that has no money cannot really be termed humble. In fact, you entered into that marriage mistakenly, maybe for the wedding dress, ring or kids - never for the mission marriage requires, that is, if your husband ever communicated that to you. And if he did, I dare say your type will gladly rebel.

I don't want to quote others again because I know it is worthless for you and several of your supporters. But I know one graceful lady out there whether churchy or not will pick wisdom from my remarks when it is time for her to build her own home. Your bible records that a foolish woman destroys her home while the wise one builds it. Not a foolish man o. Go and search for where it is in your bible. If you hurt or destroy your home as a woman, you will be the chief beneficiary. Same way, if you avoid satan building a castle in your mind and heart through stubbornness and arrogance, you will certainly be the most beneficiary of a happy and joyous home whether u dey go church or not.


Hypocrite. One single fact. You typed all this and didn't see any erring part on the part of the husband.

So she should remain and die in the marriage abi. Dude yourself. She doesn't need your approval to take actions in line with her intuition and considerations. Full

3 Likes

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by 24kmagic: 10:37pm On Dec 15, 2019
eni4real:
Your Children will have no religion be dat shocked shocked

Make dem follow their mama.

But if I notice say she de load the thing too much for their heads I no go gri oo.

Just teach them right from wrong, not how Jesus is better than Muhammad.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Nobody: 10:47pm On Dec 15, 2019
24kmagic:


Make dem follow their mama.

But if I notice say she de load the thing too much for their heads I no go gri oo.

Just teach them right from wrong, not how Jesus is better than Muhammad.
Marry your type na tongue
The one that has 'humanity' as her religion too cool

1 Like

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Ephraim998(m): 10:51pm On Dec 15, 2019
But seriously,e dey pain me wen men dey behave like this.
I hate men that hurt women without concience.

1 Like

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Ephraim998(m): 10:54pm On Dec 15, 2019
But sha,no more pure love in the world again...buhari Don spoil everything finish.

meanwhile,one old Papa and him wife celebrate 50years marriage anniversary today.

1 Like

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by 77up(m): 10:58pm On Dec 15, 2019
How wish I can read from the husband side too, but since I can't ...... lipsrsealed lipsrsealed




May I never put mouth to what I will have to explain why I made my submission in the hereafter.


Good luck to you both, but you both should pls , consider the kids.

1 Like

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Kindheartedd: 11:12pm On Dec 15, 2019
Kk

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by catwalq(f): 11:21pm On Dec 15, 2019
Nweike1:
You are too much. God bless you

Amen. U 2
Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Tedpgrass: 11:26pm On Dec 15, 2019
rawfact:
Kindheartedd, this is going to be very long and deep so don't just scan through. My guess is that you are married to a Yoruba man. I can't tell the tribe you are from. But whether you are also Yoruba or not, you need to know who a Yoruba husband is, whether he is in church or not. Because church or whatever will never take his culture away from him. "Husband" according to Yoruba Culture is know as Ade Ori (Crown) of the Woman, and not just Head as declared in the bible. You can't afford to raise your voice back at him or those other nonsense I read from your previous post. He must have tolerated all that while waiting for you to outgrow them. Because such is for Boyfriend/Girlfriend Stuff - never a Yoruba Marriage. You will have to learn on how to humbly follow his lead. After all, you trusted his leadership before saying yes to his marriage proposal.

With that said as an introduction, you will permit me to abuse you where necessary despite the fact that you seem to hate such. Meanwhile, learn that abuse from a loved one that is above one (parents, elders, husband, uncle and co) is for one's good and never an evil nor intended as such. This is Africa for goodness sake and not some white man's land, where the wife throws out the husband out of his house while his kids calls him by his first name or even shuts him up. Even some good friends can abuse someone to stop one from making a wrong decision. No wonder your bible recorded that the sting of a friend is better than the kiss of an enemy. Anyway, I took out time to read many comments on your thread and I really commend the likes of Newguyhere, Triniti, TheRedpillguy, PrinceMajestic, tunjilana and a few others who were not timid to serve you raw facts. The rest commenters literally boosted your pride.

If you are Yoruba, certainly you will understand those that are mocked as "Iyawo Asiko" (modern wife). I am going to give you an excerpt of your words and remark each, not for you because I dare say that you will resent each remark but it is particularly for the single ladies you could dare advise.

My plan is to totally leave the state we live now to a different state to start life all over with my kids. I work, I will make sure they have the best. I won't let my family know my whereabouts. Change my phone number and live a new life.

You bear "Kindheartedd" as moniker but this plan of yours alone reveals the opposite. Firstly, you want to abscond from a husband (not a boyfriend). Meaning of that culturally is running or deserting the one that paid dowry over your head and received you into his lineage (not just family), not as a girlfriend or baby mama but as the glorified (wife). Aunty, I hail you! Secondly, you used the expression "my kids". Very laughable. Culturally, those children (particularly the male) belongs to your husband's lineage which you are now part of if you are genuinely in it. Therefore, those kids belong wholly to your husband first, before your very self who happened to carry his sperm (child) for 9 months before delivery. You claim to be a christian but you certainly have no idea of the spirituality of marriage nor acknowledge fatherhood or headship of your husband over your household. Who will fix that rot in your mind? Certainly not God, aunty but your very self if you would. Finally on that, you plan to have the best not minding if it will destroy lives (your husband and the kids), changing phone number and living a new life. Some commenters that chose to be honest with you labelled the act selfish. I particularly recommend you get natural therapy for mental health.

I do not want any one to link me up with him again. I hate him now. I have heard enough, enough of abuse. He's done more damage to me than good. His is proud and ungrateful.

Listen, followers command the leadership they get. Whether family, company, state, or nation. Mere humility from you will change this same statement of yours to "He is loving, caring, wonderful though difficult to understand at times". Also, know that many Nigerian husbands really get cocky when denied sex by their wives. Too much testosterone in the body as some puts it. Some manage it well while some really get cocky and wouldn't tell the woman. But give your man good sex regularly and stay humble and watch that statement change. Never forget this: Yoruba husbands get very cocky on arrogant wives.


He is owing me a lot of money but I can let go.
Your "Ade Ori" is owing you money? As in your husband? Who owns you and your money? Or are you building another family outside the one he is heading? Sister, you are not ready for Yoruba marriage yet o. Listen, if your husband that is carrying the weight of the house as the head, whether you are supporting or not, borrows money from you, particularly for that household, in your mind, settle it that you contributed and not that you borrowed him. Even if he ended up using the money on himself. Lots of girlfriends looking forward to a guy having serious relationship with them or even marrying them do lots for the guy without feeling owed nor trumpeting it around. Abeg, give yourself peace in your head because it's obvious you carried lots of garbage from Telemundo, feminist and other "fake lives" into your marriage (reality).


I want to teach him a hard lesson by leaving with my kids before he return from work on Monday.
Your Husband (Ade Ori) o. Not even just a lesson but a hard lesson. Aunty, you need serious mental checkup. Your brain is filled with explosive pride. At this point, I think your husband should just release you back to your people through divorce so that the court can oversee the issue of child custody because it's obvious your brain cannot be humbled. Your stubbornness and arrogance is something else. Even the verbal abuse (though not the best) your husband use regularly to check/reduce the depth of those bad-luck characters is also taken wrongly. For you trying to even change your number from friends and family that could change your heart also confirms that your husband can never succeed over you. This is why fathers shouldn't spoil their daughters before giving them out in marriage. They become a pain in the head of the gullible men that marries them. Daughter wey dey shout back at hin papa, go do more for hin husband. Some wives will be competing with their husbands rather than complementing his leadership, causing unnecessary problems, particularly for the kids. See, you practically want to lead yourself, and your financial capability is also strengthening you in your rebellion. This is why a humble woman that has no money cannot really be termed humble. In fact, you entered into that marriage mistakenly, maybe for the wedding dress, ring or kids - never for the mission marriage requires, that is, if your husband ever communicated that to you. And if he did, I dare say your type will gladly rebel.

I don't want to quote others again because I know it is worthless for you and several of your supporters. But I know one graceful lady out there whether churchy or not will pick wisdom from my remarks when it is time for her to build her own home. Your bible records that a foolish woman destroys her home while the wise one builds it. Not a foolish man o. Go and search for where it is in your bible. If you hurt or destroy your home as a woman, you will be the chief beneficiary. Same way, if you avoid satan building a castle in your mind and heart through stubbornness and arrogance, you will certainly be the most beneficiary of a happy and joyous home whether u dey go church or not.

��

Agree with a lot of the above..

It seems the lady needs a time-out to re-appraise things..


I would welcome your advice on the man trying to understand better the wife..

Both exploring better ways of communication...



Yoruba culture largely determines that the woman steers her marriage and family, making all the sacrifices overtly or disingeniously and by default, absolves the man of all blame..

This is where I disagree.
It's a 2-way street.

.
Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Babitee1(f): 11:27pm On Dec 15, 2019
Yes leave that toxic atmosphere and focus on work and your kids.Its going to be difficult but it will be worth it later .Plenty guys will come your way and want to get close to you out of the pity they have for you because of how bad your husband treated you ,appreciate the advice and the financial assistance they want to give you but stand your ground on no sex with them because you are in a process of fixing your life and you don’t need any sexual relationship to distract you.Continue to pray and God will open doors for you and it will be like a dream come true ,As for your husband he will learn in a very hard way when you are away and he will come back begging because so many things will go wrong in his life and it will seem like you are the oxygen that will give him life again,just watch and see what God will do.

2 Likes

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Nobody: 11:30pm On Dec 15, 2019
Kindheartedd:
I opened a thread sometime ago about my husband's attitude.

I won't just go into details but all I need now is leave, leave him for good.

My plan is to totally leave the state we live now to a different state to start life all over with my kids. I work, I will make sure they have the best. I won't let my family know my whereabouts. Change my phone number and live a new life.

I do not want any one to link me up with him again. I hate him now. I have heard enough, enough of abuse. He's done more damage to me than good. His is proud and ungrateful.

He is owing me a lot of money but I can let go.

I want to teach him a hard lesson by leaving with my kids before he return from work on Monday.

My advice to young ones especially God fearing ones, don't marry a man who is just a casual Christian, who answers on paper 'Christianity' when asked which religion.

He never believed I can move forward, I struggled to raise my status by hard work n prayer, I went to a private uni, he even insulted my dad to my face that he waisted money on my for sending me to private uni, Haa, my ears twingled when he said it all because I was earning about 100k, he was earning way more than me and he'd never give me peace because he earns more. Named me all sorts of names. I saved little n resigned since there was no hope of earning more money where I worked.

When I asked to open a joint account his response was my income was meant for eating not saving. And ridiculously told me to hide my face for trying to measure him to my standard. That we don't earn the same amount and we can't jointly run an account. For days, he shamed me with that.

I boldly took a decision to resign and I almost end it all but I was putting things in place to get the best in life no matter what. Alas, God helped me and now, I'm doing well and my monthly income is daily getting more than his. I painfully went for a training and have decided to get an office and employ more hands because I can no longer handle tasks alone due to work load and he is killing the dream.

I know him, he wants to frustrate me, he knows the sky is not my limit again even, but I want to teach him a lesson that in his next life he will never talk any human being down.

He is getting worst daily by being abusive, I won't know peace if so stay with him. Now he wants to do what I do, so jealous and unsecured.

I live in a recluse due to my work and I have an abusive man, if not for my belief on God maybe I would have taken my life since.

I was abused as a child, I think the best for me now is live alone. Human beings are not worth it, I hate relationships and marriage now, like it's all a scam. I just want to be alone with my innocent kids.

Am just weak, it's going to be a shame, my friendd n family won't like my decision but I want to send a message to this man. He must learn to respect me, called my brain fish brain,? My own father waisted money on me? I will surely break grounds to send him a message.

Am just in pain, am soo so so sad. Once I leave him I will be a celibate for life. I will never allow any man to make me experience abuse again. Never!!!


Sister, I feel your pain.

However, I want to ask you few questions.


1. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD?

2. DO YOU THINK THERE IS SOMETHING IMPOSSIBLE FOR GOD TO DO?

3. DO YOU THINK GOD CANT CHANGE STORY OF YOUR MARRIAGE?

4. DO YOU KNOW THAT TIME CHANGES EVERYTHING?


DON'T FOLLOW THE BANDWAGON HERE.

IF YOU ARE INDEED A TRUE BELIEVER, THIS IS THE TIME TO PROVE IT.

FINALLY, THINK DEEPLY AND LOOK BACK BEFORE YOU SHUT THAT DOOR.



I WISH I COULD TALK TO YOU.

PEACE PROFOUND!!!

1 Like

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by benjijosh(m): 11:41pm On Dec 15, 2019
rawfact:
Kindheartedd, this is going to be very long and deep so don't just scan through. My guess is that you are married to a Yoruba man. I can't tell the tribe you are from. But whether you are also Yoruba or not, you need to know who a Yoruba husband is, whether he is in church or not. Because church or whatever will never take his culture away from him. "Husband" according to Yoruba Culture is know as Ade Ori (Crown) of the Woman, and not just Head as declared in the bible. You can't afford to raise your voice back at him or those other nonsense I read from your previous post. He must have tolerated all that while waiting for you to outgrow them. Because such is for Boyfriend/Girlfriend Stuff - never a Yoruba Marriage. You will have to learn on how to humbly follow his lead. After all, you trusted his leadership before saying yes to his marriage proposal.

With that said as an introduction, you will permit me to abuse you where necessary despite the fact that you seem to hate such. Meanwhile, learn that abuse from a loved one that is above one (parents, elders, husband, uncle and co) is for one's good and never an evil nor intended as such. This is Africa for goodness sake and not some white man's land, where the wife throws out the husband out of his house while his kids calls him by his first name or even shuts him up. Even some good friends can abuse someone to stop one from making a wrong decision. No wonder your bible recorded that the sting of a friend is better than the kiss of an enemy. Anyway, I took out time to read many comments on your thread and I really commend the likes of Newguyhere, Triniti, TheRedpillguy, PrinceMajestic, tunjilana and a few others who were not timid to serve you raw facts. The rest commenters literally boosted your pride.

If you are Yoruba, certainly you will understand those that are mocked as "Iyawo Asiko" (modern wife). I am going to give you an excerpt of your words and remark each, not for you because I dare say that you will resent each remark but it is particularly for the single ladies you could dare advise.

My plan is to totally leave the state we live now to a different state to start life all over with my kids. I work, I will make sure they have the best. I won't let my family know my whereabouts. Change my phone number and live a new life.

You bear "Kindheartedd" as moniker but this plan of yours alone reveals the opposite. Firstly, you want to abscond from a husband (not a boyfriend). Meaning of that culturally is running or deserting the one that paid dowry over your head and received you into his lineage (not just family), not as a girlfriend or baby mama but as the glorified (wife). Aunty, I hail you! Secondly, you used the expression "my kids". Very laughable. Culturally, those children (particularly the male) belongs to your husband's lineage which you are now part of if you are genuinely in it. Therefore, those kids belong wholly to your husband first, before your very self who happened to carry his sperm (child) for 9 months before delivery. You claim to be a christian but you certainly have no idea of the spirituality of marriage nor acknowledge fatherhood or headship of your husband over your household. Who will fix that rot in your mind? Certainly not God, aunty but your very self if you would. Finally on that, you plan to have the best not minding if it will destroy lives (your husband and the kids), changing phone number and living a new life. Some commenters that chose to be honest with you labelled the act selfish. I particularly recommend you get natural therapy for mental health.

I do not want any one to link me up with him again. I hate him now. I have heard enough, enough of abuse. He's done more damage to me than good. His is proud and ungrateful.

Listen, followers command the leadership they get. Whether family, company, state, or nation. Mere humility from you will change this same statement of yours to "He is loving, caring, wonderful though difficult to understand at times". Also, know that many Nigerian husbands really get cocky when denied sex by their wives. Too much testosterone in the body as some puts it. Some manage it well while some really get cocky and wouldn't tell the woman. But give your man good sex regularly and stay humble and watch that statement change. Never forget this: Yoruba husbands get very cocky on arrogant wives.


He is owing me a lot of money but I can let go.
Your "Ade Ori" is owing you money? As in your husband? Who owns you and your money? Or are you building another family outside the one he is heading? Sister, you are not ready for Yoruba marriage yet o. Listen, if your husband that is carrying the weight of the house as the head, whether you are supporting or not, borrows money from you, particularly for that household, in your mind, settle it that you contributed and not that you borrowed him. Even if he ended up using the money on himself. Lots of girlfriends looking forward to a guy having serious relationship with them or even marrying them do lots for the guy without feeling owed nor trumpeting it around. Abeg, give yourself peace in your head because it's obvious you carried lots of garbage from Telemundo, feminist and other "fake lives" into your marriage (reality).


I want to teach him a hard lesson by leaving with my kids before he return from work on Monday.
Your Husband (Ade Ori) o. Not even just a lesson but a hard lesson. Aunty, you need serious mental checkup. Your brain is filled with explosive pride. At this point, I think your husband should just release you back to your people through divorce so that the court can oversee the issue of child custody because it's obvious your brain cannot be humbled. Your stubbornness and arrogance is something else. Even the verbal abuse (though not the best) your husband use regularly to check/reduce the depth of those bad-luck characters is also taken wrongly. For you trying to even change your number from friends and family that could change your heart also confirms that your husband can never succeed over you. This is why fathers shouldn't spoil their daughters before giving them out in marriage. They become a pain in the head of the gullible men that marries them. Daughter wey dey shout back at hin papa, go do more for hin husband. Some wives will be competing with their husbands rather than complementing his leadership, causing unnecessary problems, particularly for the kids. See, you practically want to lead yourself, and your financial capability is also strengthening you in your rebellion. This is why a humble woman that has no money cannot really be termed humble. In fact, you entered into that marriage mistakenly, maybe for the wedding dress, ring or kids - never for the mission marriage requires, that is, if your husband ever communicated that to you. And if he did, I dare say your type will gladly rebel.

I don't want to quote others again because I know it is worthless for you and several of your supporters. But I know one graceful lady out there whether churchy or not will pick wisdom from my remarks when it is time for her to build her own home. Your bible records that a foolish woman destroys her home while the wise one builds it. Not a foolish man o. Go and search for where it is in your bible. If you hurt or destroy your home as a woman, you will be the chief beneficiary. Same way, if you avoid satan building a castle in your mind and heart through stubbornness and arrogance, you will certainly be the most beneficiary of a happy and joyous home whether u dey go church or not.

You have very small mind with a big mouth. What a shame you have made of yourself with this post of yours.

It's a marriage and not a bondage. We Nigerians should drop this sense of our husband own us shit. He is human just as she is human. She is entitled to her own self peace.

3 Likes

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Briller: 12:19am On Dec 16, 2019
Cutehector:
How do people even end up marrying demons. It really beats my imagination. The matter tire person

Because all that glitters is not gold. People pretend to be what they are not just because they need something from you. Moreover, sometimes people and things change too.

2 Likes

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by drmikeadams(m): 12:46am On Dec 16, 2019
OP. grin grin if oga go work tomorrow

Go bank withdraw all ur money grin
Break ur sim grin
Throway ur phone grin
If u get car,carry ur kids discharge grin grin
Relocate and start all over grin grin
Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by RealAdewole(m): 12:48am On Dec 16, 2019
Kindheartedd:


He never believed I can move forward, I struggled to raise my status by hard work n prayer, I went to a private uni,...

Leave leave leave and never look back...

I wish I could write all my heart out.... Just leave, it's enough...

1 Like

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Tunagee(m): 1:50am On Dec 16, 2019
chriskosherbal:
I think I go with catwalq contribution, leaving not for Vengeance but for Peace for Vengeance belongs to God, I believe you know this.. However, it beats my imagination how someone will be abusing his (wife) love emotionally and psychologically I really don't get it..even though I haven't heard of the other side of the story. But one thing struck me about what op said, if you choose to marry a christian, then marry a true Christian not some Sunday, Sunday, tick the religious box Christians ....am not saying that there are no morally upright individuals who are not Christians but as a Christian there must exist in you a christ- like character that makes you see your wife as you .

Pastors no dey beat and maltreat their wives, eventually divorce and marry another one? So leave this christian thing out of it
Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Tunagee(m): 1:57am On Dec 16, 2019
Triniti:
She want to hide away from the husband. The man will eventually find where she is except she plans on traveling out of the country. Why put herself in so much stress, when she can end everything legally? Marriage should not be a do or die affair. End the whole thing legally and have your peace

You don't understand how things work in marriage. Ending it legally will put her in misery, regrets and complications for the rest of her life. Seperated first to work on his behaviour, then choose to go back to him if u are convinced he is changed.
Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Tunagee(m): 2:10am On Dec 16, 2019
samguru:
I don't want to be judgemental on your ordeal,all I can say is divorce/separation is not the solution.
From your narrations,your husband is proud,pompous and domineering and I strongly believe all these traits must have surfaced during your courtship but you thought you can cope.
My sister,you can not prove any point to a man that has good income, at worst he will get another woman and sting you further.
Please,if the insults/assaults are not life-threatening,please bring in your pastor or those who he respects alot for intervention.
If you quit and things go worst for you nko?
My sister, if not for any other thing consider the plight of your kids.
My advice
Whenever he starts his madness just trivialize everything and turn his negative energy to your positive energy.
Woman is the owner of the family, man is just the head and it is your responsibility to make your marriage work.

wow! I love this. Best so far. No be everything be divorce! divorce! or seperation. Nonsense

1 Like

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Tunagee(m): 2:27am On Dec 16, 2019
Newguyhere:
"I was abused as a kid"
Thats where I stopped reading undecided
All these women sef, always claiming mental health problems.
So you think raising the kids as a single mother is psychologically healthy for them abi undecided.
Instead of you to be a submisive wife and settle things with your husband;no, you want 'freedom'
So you can do as you want. undecided
Las las you will ruin those children lives.
Single mothers can never raise phcologically healthy kids.

Exactly. This is lovely

1 Like

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Tunagee(m): 2:40am On Dec 16, 2019
Kalixx:


U better dont mind that awkaetitibabe of a girl. The other one is that pocohontas abi wetin b their name? And that useless onyi22(f)

These expired feminists are w*tches in human form and their frustrations in life stinks from my monitor screen right up to my face. They form advisors online to their fellow women but if you read their writeups well, they can't hide their delight when a woman is going through marital stress and pains. They are so happy to welcome a woman into their kingdom of pains and trauma in the guise of 'many women stay in their homes until their husband commits homicide' bla bla bla.


Yet at the same time, they make so many comments online from Monday to Sunday, usually on front page, that one has to wonder if they have jobs or other forms of engagement. My guess is theyre advertising themselves online to have a false sense of appreciation in order to alleviate their plummeting depression, and at the same time, hope to find hookups from the same gender they bash day and night. I know their ploy.

No mind them jare.

Chai! you wicked o! You mean these ladies you mention can never qualify to live with a man? I sorry for them o!

3 Likes

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Nobody: 2:44am On Dec 16, 2019
Tunagee:


Chai! you wicked o! You mean these ladies you mention can never qualify to live with a man? I sorry for them o!

Lol, u no dey sleep abi? Olofofo cheesy
Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Paulpak34(m): 2:46am On Dec 16, 2019
Please dnt make decision by yourself cos there wil be danger ahead of u nd ur children. If you like listen to me naw, if u follow dat step naw, u wil surely blame urself 4 it, encounter with God 4 3days, pray for d purpose of your family. Try it please...
Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Bigcowhorn: 3:02am On Dec 16, 2019
OgaBuhari:
boss the guy is an asslicker.
there are two hoes here by moniker midnighter and Fountainofyouth and I speak the truth to raw truth to them and this asslicker BigCowHorn has been attacking me because of them and pretended to be a nice guy and later sent them a pm asking for their pussy and they turned the bastard down.
Thank God u have also seen it.
Don't blame him, the guy is sex starved and a chronic masturbator.


grin

Ass-licker this, ass-licker that... You only have balls when you see bitch-boy like you or when women are watching. You declared war on me how many times now only to go and sleep in the restricted Islam section so I won't e-murder you like I've doing for days now?

You claim to be a zealous Christian, can't you see that PrinceMajestic: is a proud Idol worshiper who insults God openly? It is right there in his last comment and yet you go allying yourself with him which speaks to a critical lack of morals and principles. Throw in low self-esteem and you have the reason you attack women all over the place. Even Kindheartedd who opened this thread to talk about her regrettable marriage wasn't spared. But you can't attack real men, can you? grin Woman-wrapper is your surname.

I hope you won that 500 naira bet yesterday? Let's hope you are not broke again before the next weekend.


Stupid Ode.

1 Like

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Tunagee(m): 3:06am On Dec 16, 2019
Jewessgratitude:


My dear, do what makes you happy. Man is not a source of happiness.
Thank God you have lovely kids who will keep you company and make you fulfilled In life.

I'm not married but I feel your pain cos I see the way men are behaving these days even in ordinary relationship and if you ask me the last thing on my list of prayer points, it marriage while the topmost thing is money and an established life. Men should always come last because they are most times a big set back in women's life, ive seen it severally.
What we have these days are sissies. We no longer have men.

Just enjoy your new found life dear.
Only you can make yourself happy.

OP, no listen to this kind devilish advice o!
Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by joepepsy(m): 3:08am On Dec 16, 2019
Hope you realised your mistakes too?
Kindheartedd:
I opened a thread sometime ago about my husband's attitude.

I won't just go into details but all I need now is leave, leave him for good.

My plan is to totally leave the state we live now to a different state to start life all over with my kids. I work, I will make sure they have the best. I won't let my family know my whereabouts. Change my phone number and live a new life.

I do not want any one to link me up with him again. I hate him now. I have heard enough, enough of abuse. He's done more damage to me than good. His is proud and ungrateful.

He is owing me a lot of money but I can let go.

I want to teach him a hard lesson by leaving with my kids before he return from work on Monday.

My advice to young ones especially God fearing ones, don't marry a man who is just a casual Christian, who answers on paper 'Christianity' when asked which religion.

He never believed I can move forward, I struggled to raise my status by hard work n prayer, I went to a private uni, he even insulted my dad to my face that he waisted money on my for sending me to private uni, Haa, my ears twingled when he said it all because I was earning about 100k, he was earning way more than me and he'd never give me peace because he earns more. Named me all sorts of names. I saved little n resigned since there was no hope of earning more money where I worked.

When I asked to open a joint account his response was my income was meant for eating not saving. And ridiculously told me to hide my face for trying to measure him to my standard. That we don't earn the same amount and we can't jointly run an account. For days, he shamed me with that.

I boldly took a decision to resign and I almost end it all but I was putting things in place to get the best in life no matter what. Alas, God helped me and now, I'm doing well and my monthly income is daily getting more than his. I painfully went for a training and have decided to get an office and employ more hands because I can no longer handle tasks alone due to work load and he is killing the dream.

I know him, he wants to frustrate me, he knows the sky is not my limit again even, but I want to teach him a lesson that in his next life he will never talk any human being down.

He is getting worst daily by being abusive, I won't know peace if so stay with him. Now he wants to do what I do, so jealous and unsecured.

I live in a recluse due to my work and I have an abusive man, if not for my belief on God maybe I would have taken my life since.

I was abused as a child, I think the best for me now is live alone. Human beings are not worth it, I hate relationships and marriage now, like it's all a scam. I just want to be alone with my innocent kids.

Am just weak, it's going to be a shame, my friendd n family won't like my decision but I want to send a message to this man. He must learn to respect me, called my brain fish brain,? My own father waisted money on me? I will surely break grounds to send him a message.

Am just in pain, am soo so so sad. Once I leave him I will be a celibate for life. I will never allow any man to make me experience abuse again. Never!!!

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