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Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him - Family - Nairaland

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I Want To Leave My Wife For My Girlfriend / Divorced Woman In Court For Refusing To Leave Ex-husband’s House / How Can I Ask A Friend To Leave My House In A Good Way? (2) (3) (4)

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Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Kindheartedd: 6:17am On Dec 15, 2019
I opened a thread sometime ago about my husband's attitude.

I won't just go into details but all I need now is leave, leave him for good.

My plan is to totally leave the state we live now to a different state to start life all over with my kids. I work, I will make sure they have the best. I won't let my family know my whereabouts. Change my phone number and live a new life.

I do not want any one to link me up with him again. I hate him now. I have heard enough, enough of abuse. He's done more damage to me than good. His is proud and ungrateful.

He is owing me a lot of money but I can let go.

I want to teach him a hard lesson by leaving with my kids before he return from work on Monday.

My advice to young ones especially God fearing ones, don't marry a man who is just a casual Christian, who answers on paper 'Christianity' when asked which religion.

He never believed I can move forward, I struggled to raise my status by hard work n prayer, I went to a private uni, he even insulted my dad to my face that he waisted money on my for sending me to private uni, Haa, my ears twingled when he said it all because I was earning about 100k, he was earning way more than me and he'd never give me peace because he earns more. Named me all sorts of names. I saved little n resigned since there was no hope of earning more money where I worked.

When I asked to open a joint account his response was my income was meant for eating not saving. And ridiculously told me to hide my face for trying to measure him to my standard. That we don't earn the same amount and we can't jointly run an account. For days, he shamed me with that.

I boldly took a decision to resign and I almost end it all but I was putting things in place to get the best in life no matter what. Alas, God helped me and now, I'm doing well and my monthly income is daily getting more than his. I painfully went for a training and have decided to get an office and employ more hands because I can no longer handle tasks alone due to work load and he is killing the dream.

I know him, he wants to frustrate me, he knows the sky is not my limit again even, but I want to teach him a lesson that in his next life he will never talk any human being down.

He is getting worst daily by being abusive, I won't know peace if so stay with him. Now he wants to do what I do, so jealous and unsecured.

I live in a recluse due to my work and I have an abusive man, if not for my belief on God maybe I would have taken my life since.

I was abused as a child, I think the best for me now is live alone. Human beings are not worth it, I hate relationships and marriage now, like it's all a scam. I just want to be alone with my innocent kids.

Am just weak, it's going to be a shame, my friendd n family won't like my decision but I want to send a message to this man. He must learn to respect me, called my brain fish brain,? My own father waisted money on me? I will surely break grounds to send him a message.

Am just in pain, am soo so so sad. Once I leave him I will be a celibate for life. I will never allow any man to make me experience abuse again. Never!!!

255 Likes 16 Shares

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by daddytime(m): 6:18am On Dec 15, 2019
Judging by your narrative above, I support your moving on if it'd help restore your sanity, save you from further abuses, and eventual death, because, e better make person no get husband or wife than to get the one wey go make am dey fear to go house everyday.

However, I'd advise you never to keep the kids away from their father. How you intend to achieve that? I do not know...

Please, do not make the kids the dupe of daddy and mummy's failed relationship.

Stay safe and strong.

191 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Cutehector(m): 6:23am On Dec 15, 2019
How do people even end up marrying demons. It really beats my imagination. The matter tire person

52 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by hakeemhakeem(m): 6:48am On Dec 15, 2019
Spread your wings and Fly enjoys your freedom but do give your parents calls to calm their nerve

71 Likes 1 Share

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by DoubleEngine007: 6:49am On Dec 15, 2019
Cutehector:
How do people even end up marrying demons. It really beats my imagination. The matter tire person
Humans are full of pretends .. They will make you comfortable with them during courtship ,after marriage their real character will come out.. But I can't say much now,cuz i haven't heard the man's side of the story... I pray you find peace of mind madam.. Ensure your kids gets the best of education and care plz.. Don't rubbish them,because their dad rubbished you.. And don't stop loving and serving God..

126 Likes 7 Shares

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Swissheart(f): 6:55am On Dec 15, 2019
Sis,
Going by what you v written up there pls leave him. His jealousy is unhealthy and toxic. Now, he wants to start your kinda business because you are doing better than he is doing when he would have clearly come back at you if you failed.

Your husband is dangerous. He is capable of murder.
The Lord is yours Sis. Save yourself

90 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by tolugar: 7:05am On Dec 15, 2019
For better
Or
For worse

All these things tire me.


At the holy alter, With the holy book, in full view of loved ones.


Why must we suffer in the hands of loved ones


It’s well madam

20 Likes

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by SincereBigot: 7:08am On Dec 15, 2019
End time husband

15 Likes

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Motirayo2018(f): 7:13am On Dec 15, 2019
I was once in it, so I know how you feel

Leave so you can remain sane

Pls contact your parent so they would be at peace

Raise your children with love and the word of God

106 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Goodbloke: 7:15am On Dec 15, 2019
God help us wey be single guys o.

How can a man behave like this?

17 Likes

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by 2special(m): 7:30am On Dec 15, 2019
Why not you guys hear from the other party before condemning him... My advice is for you to file for a divorce if you're legally marry to him.... See a lawyer.

28 Likes

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by aminusodiq(m): 7:32am On Dec 15, 2019
Wit all uve said.... Ill advice u leave d toxic rlshp. I need to let u knw dat attitude has no correlation wit relgion affiliation, if hes a good man, hes a good man. If hes bad, nothing will make him good! I suport ir decision to leave, let him know ur worth, i knw someone like him wil feel so proud dat he may b too big to. Plead, just let go nd start a new life, he dosnt deserve u! Uve endured too much of d insults, i hope God help u in ur endevours, if he come bak, pls do agree to. His pleas, remember u guys were once love birds. But if he dosnt, there is no point to b celibate for life, u need love, we all a shoulder to lean on! Dia is nothing bad in starting afresh! /#shalom

21 Likes 1 Share

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by catwalq(f): 7:44am On Dec 15, 2019
Leave if you need to but let it be for your peace of mind and not an act of vengeance. If you're leaving to teach him a lesson,it might not be wholesome for you and the kids especially.


I wish you peace

46 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Kelvin30286063(m): 8:10am On Dec 15, 2019
Sometimes when I read this kind of issues, I just thank God for the kind of man he built in me and the kind of wife he gave me!

Back to you... I think he needs to be reminded how important you are in his life so moving away from him is a good idea. You can take the kids with you too cuz he will melt the same hostility on them if you leave them.
Go away for some months and watch him beg and beg with calls and text messages. I know it might want to get to you sometimes ad you will want to just pick your bags and go back to him... Especially when you're Hot wink but stand your ground and watch him respect you.

25 Likes 1 Share

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by chriskosherbal(m): 8:10am On Dec 15, 2019
catwalq:
Leave if you need to but let it be for your peace of mind and not an act of vengeance. If you're leaving to teach him a lesson,it might not be wholesome for you and the kids especially.


I wish you peace
I think I go with catwalq contribution, leaving not for Vengeance but for Peace for Vengeance belongs to God, I believe you know this.. However, it beats my imagination how someone will be abusing his (wife) love emotionally and psychologically I really don't get it..even though I haven't heard of the other side of the story. But one thing struck me about what op said, if you choose to marry a christian, then marry a true Christian not some Sunday, Sunday, tick the religious box Christians ....am not saying that there are no morally upright individuals who are not Christians but as a Christian there must exist in you a christ- like character that makes you see your wife as you .

28 Likes

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by eyinjuege: 8:17am On Dec 15, 2019
If you're so unhappy that it's beginning to make you suicidal, then leave.
However, your children need their father. Make your separation legal and let the courts sort out custody arrangements for your children.
Marriage is not by force and peace of mind is ultimate

22 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Triniti(m): 8:23am On Dec 15, 2019
Why are you running away? Do you think you can hide from anyone in this age of social media? Just get a lawyer and file for a divorce, that way, you can have the peace of mind you seek without looking over your shoulder everyday hiding like a fugitive. Don’t make yourself a fugitive when have no crime on your head

47 Likes 1 Share

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Nobody: 8:31am On Dec 15, 2019
Cutehector:
How do people even end up marrying demons. It really beats my imagination. The matter tire person
When the demons present and pretend to be loving and kind at first.

6 Likes

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Nobody: 8:32am On Dec 15, 2019
Triniti:
Why are you running away? Do you think you can hide from anyone in this age of social media? Just get a lawyer and file for a divorce, that way, you can have the peace of mind you seek without looking over your shoulder everyday hiding like a fugitive. Don’t make yourself a fugitive when have no crime on your head
She needs the change of environment. Perhaps she'll run d divorce matters from there.

27 Likes 1 Share

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Cutehector(m): 8:34am On Dec 15, 2019
AwkaetitiBabe:
When the demons present and pretend to be loving and kind at first.
but there is a way to make these demons manifest their true color before marriage.

1 Like

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Nobody: 8:35am On Dec 15, 2019
Cutehector:
but there is a way to make these demons manifest their true color before marriage.
It's for those who got d spirit of discernment.

12 Likes

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Sanchez01: 8:36am On Dec 15, 2019
The dangerous kind of people to deal with are fanatics and those who are inbetween; neither hot nor cold...neither here nor there. Kindheartedd, I remember your story very well. Shared the link as a matter of fact. Sadly, as much as God doesn't love divorce, your health (mental, emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual) matters a great deal.

Your other partner is a toxic being and reading through the previous thread back then and this makes me wonder whether or not you didn't see these signs before going ahead to marry him. I'll ignorantly claim you did but chose to ignore the signs and thought you could manage or that you overestimated your strength.

However, I feel you're about making a mistake, not because you want to leave your marriage but because you feel you want to prove a thing or make a statement.

Am just weak, it's going to be a shame, my friendd n family won't like my decision but I want to send a message to this man. He must learn to respect me, called my brain fish brain,? My own father waisted money on me? I will surely break grounds to send him a message.

He is horrible based on the way you painted him, granted, but living to impress the man who abused you is similar to being stuck in the past. You might not just have peace of mind if you leave with that mindset as you will constantly think about ways to get back at him. If you ask me, it doesn't make sense to burden yourself with the burden you felt while with him. If you can't live differently from the way you did while with him, then your leaving won't mean a thing.

Finally, pursue this legally and not act like a fugitive when you are not being chased.

If you are leaving, please do so for the pursuit of peace and happiness; for the sake of your health and your kids. Wishing you all the best in your endeavours.

29 Likes 1 Share

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Nobody: 8:44am On Dec 15, 2019
First of all, why do you drag your children into this? Wouldn't it be more mature to leave him and co-parent? After all, he is their father and they love him, I guess. Or is he not only a bad husband but also a bad father?

8 Likes

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Cutehector(m): 8:45am On Dec 15, 2019
AwkaetitiBabe:
It's for those who got d spirit of discernment.
grin so we can say that the op lacked the spirit of discernment. grin
Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Nobody: 8:46am On Dec 15, 2019
Cutehector:
but there is a way to make these demons manifest their true color before marriage.

No, it is not always possible. Some people are very smart and can play the game very well.

1 Like

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Nobody: 8:48am On Dec 15, 2019
Cutehector:
grin so we can say that the op lacked the spirit of discernment. grin
Not quite. People change.

4 Likes

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Triniti(m): 8:48am On Dec 15, 2019
AwkaetitiBabe:
She needs the change of environment. Perhaps she'll run d divorce matters from there.
She want to hide away from the husband. The man will eventually find where she is except she plans on traveling out of the country. Why put herself in so much stress, when she can end everything legally? Marriage should not be a do or die affair. End the whole thing legally and have your peace

21 Likes

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Sanchez01: 8:51am On Dec 15, 2019
Swissheart:
Sis,
Going by what you v written up there pls leave him. His jealousy is unhealthy and toxic. Now, he wants to start your kinda business because you are doing better than he is doing when he would have clearly come back at you if you failed.

Your husband is dangerous. He is capable of murder.
The Lord is yours Sis. Save yourself
You should counsel her to do so legally and not just run from her family.

1 Like

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Nobody: 8:55am On Dec 15, 2019
Triniti:
She want to hide away from the husband. The man will eventually find where she is except she plans on traveling out of the country. Why put herself in so much stress, when she can end everything legally? Marriage should not be a do or die affair. End the whole thing legally and have your peace
She should be in the man's house while ending it? Her family won't let her leave hence her decision to move.

4 Likes

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by Triniti(m): 9:23am On Dec 15, 2019
AwkaetitiBabe:
She should be in the man's house while ending it? Her family won't let her leave hence her decision to move.
Did you read the op? She wants to run and hide with the kids? Is she a fugitive? Why would she run with the kids without her husband consent? Don’t you know it’s a crime to do that? Separate with the man if you no longer want the marriage.

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Finally, I Have Decided To Leave Him by cococandy(f): 9:24am On Dec 15, 2019
You can leave without denying him access to his kids.

If both of you make as much money as you claim, I’m sure you can afford a lawyer/mediator to smooth things out in that direction. That will be the best and most peaceful resolution for you.

Don’t take the kids and go hide. You will be kidnapping them and that won’t favor you in custody claims in the near future.

Your family won’t let you leave? You’re not a child!
Do it anyway

21 Likes 4 Shares

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